Down Cemetery Road
Based on: Down Cemetery Road by Mick Herron
Stars: Emma Thompson, Ruth Wilson, Adeel Akhtar, Nathan Stewart-Jarrett, Tom Goodman-Hill, Darren Boyd, Tom Riley, Adam Godley, Sinead Matthews, Ken Nwosu, Fehinti Balogun, Aiysha Hart
Season 1 – Episode 6
Episode title: Neglected Waters
Original air date: 26 November 2025
Plot: On the train, Amos recognises Zoë from Axel’s notes and prepares to kill her. She befriends American tourists Bob and Shelley to keep Amos at bay, evading him throughout the compartments, but he sets a fire and the train is evacuated. Commandeering Bob and Shelley’s taxi, Amos shoots them and calls the police, framing Zoë as their killer. He continues to follow Dinah’s tracker, while Wayne directs Zoë to a nearby army base visited by Wright. Abandoned by Downey, an overwhelmed Sarah reaches the derelict base and discovers Zoë, who shows her the video of the chemical attack and convinces her to press on. Visiting a pub, Sarah overhears that police are searching for Zoë, and they realise Dinah is being held on a neighboring island. Hoping either Amos or Downey will eliminate the other, C sends Hamza to Scotland with a gun to ensure neither survives. Sarah and Zoë hijack a sightseeing boat, locking the captain in the cabin, as they, Downey, and Amos each make their way to the island.
* * *
Down Cemetery Road – S01E06 – Neglected Waters | Transcript
[passengers chattering]
[conductor on PA] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your conductor speaking.
Just to remind you this service will be nonstop to Glasgow.
That’s nonstop to Glasgow.
[Amos grunts]
Thanks, little brother.
All right then.
[ticket scanner beeping]
[guard] Ticket please, madam.
[Zoë] Yeah, yeah. Sure.
[clears throat]
Thank you.
Okay.
This seat taken?
Yeah. It is actually.
[Amos] Doesn’t look like it.
[grunts, sniffs]
[announcer on PA] If you see something that doesn’t look right, speak to a member of staff or call the British Transport Police on 61016.
See it. Say it.
See it. Say it.
Sorted.
Sorted.
[“Woman’s Touch” playing]
♪ The light has shone on you tonight ♪
♪ But I’ll go walking through
The darkened streets alone ♪
♪ And fall asleep with a smile ♪
♪ Saving my pennies
‘Cause the oracle told me so… ♪
♪ I’ve learned to trust my head to turn ♪
[passenger] Ah.
That looks like a free table.
Finally.
[clears throat]
[grunts] Excuse me.
[Zoë] No, my fault.
[passenger 2] Over here, hon.
Ah. This okay, hon?
Sorry about that.
It’s fine.
[passenger] How you doing?
Pretty good, thanks.
[Zoë] How are you doing?
Oh, not too bad.
[Zoë] Uh-huh.
Not too bad.
You’ll feel a lot better after that.
[chuckles]
[passenger 2] Gosh, it’s busy tonight.
[Zoë] It truly is. Yeah.
I’m Julia. Hi.
Hi.
Nice to meet you guys.
Oh, I’m Shelley.
And I’m Bob.
Hi, Bob. Hi, Shelley.
And, uh…
Andy.
Ah. [chuckles]
[Shelley] Andy. Hi.
Nice to meet you. [chuckles]
[chuckles]
Are you on a special trip?
[Shelley] Oh, yeah.
We are on the trip of a lifetime to the Scottish Highlands…
Oh, beautiful.
…because of Bob’s ancestry.
[Bob groans]
No, no.
[Zoë] Oh.
[Shelley] We can trace his lineage all the way back to William Wallace.
Oh, you’re kidding. No.
[Bob] If you look really, really hard.
[all laugh]
[Bob] Like through a microscope.
[Zoë] Okay.
[Shelley] Oh, shush, Bob. No.
That website, you know, was very clear.
[Bob] Ah.
Oh, my God. [gasps]
[Bob] Hmm?
Do I spot Bananagrams?
[Bob, Shelley] Yes.
[Zoë] Yes?
I couldn’t tempt you to a game, could I?
I don’t want to intrude or anything…
[Shelley] No, no.
[Bob] I’m game.
Sure. No, we’d love to.
Really? That’s so kind. Thank you.
[Bob] Sure.
I’ll warn you, though, I’m a real demon.
[Zoë] Really?
[Bob] I can play all night.
[Zoë] Fine by me.
[Bob, Shelley laugh]
Here we go.
Oh, Andy, sorry, uh…
W-Would you like to join us?
No, I’ll watch.
Hmm.
[Shelley] Right.
Let’s get into this.
[Zoë] Yeah.
This is so exciting after so many years.
[Bob] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Zoë] I can’t tell you.
[Shelley] Really? Gosh, I bet you…
[wheels screeching]
[Downey chuckles]
What?
Ella and me used to fight over this stuff when we were kids.
Hmm?
That is disgusting.
Give it back.
Thank you.
[Sarah groans] Do you think we’re close?
I don’t… I don’t know.
[sniffs]
No. [groans] To finding Dinah, not, uh…
I hope so.
[inhales deeply] Okay.
I’ll take the first shift.
Shifts?
Yeah. We’re not on a camping holiday.
[sighs]
[Bob] Banana!
[Shelley] Oh, my God!
[Zoë] No. Seriously? Not again.
[Bob] Yeah. Oh, yeah.
I can’t believe it.
[Shelley] Every time. [chuckles]
[Zoë] Oh, goodness me.
Oh, gosh. No, I’m sorry.
No, it’s time for us to turn in, folks.
Jet lag’s really catching up with us.
Oh, no, no, no. The night is young.
[Shelley laughs] Yeah, but I’m sure as hell not.
We are wiped out.
[Zoë] Mmm.
[laughs] Okay. Julia and Andy, pleasure to meet you.
[Zoë] And you.
Thanks very much for the game.
[Bob] Oh. Not at all. We enjoyed it.
You’re welcome. Okay.
[Bob groans]
Oh. Sorry, uh, would it be okay if we take a photo?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, we are making an album of friends we made on our travels, so… [chuckles]
Oh, of course.
Oh. A-Allow me.
Oh, thanks, Andy.
Oh, no, no. You should be in it too.
I hate having my picture taken. Please.
Okay, yeah. Let’s scoot in here.
[Shelley] Okay.
Oh, bananas. Yeah, okay.
[Amos] Everyone say, “Braveheart.”
[Bob, Shelley] Braveheart.
[Bob, Shelley laughing]
Did you get it?
Yeah, great.
Thank you, Andy.
Yeah.
Thank you.
You’re so welcome.
You know what?
I guess I’ll turn in as well.
I don’t wanna drink alone.
Very wise, Julia!
Very w… It’s a slippery slope.
[Zoë laughs] It is. Sure is.
[Bob laughs] Yeah.
Good night, Andy.
Thanks, Andy.
Good night. Pleasure. Pleased to meet you.
[Shelley] Oh. There’s a man asleep here.
Bye.
[Zoë] Yeah, watch yourself. Hold on.
[Shelley] I know.
[Zoë, Shelley laugh]
[Shelley] We had a few too many tonight.
[Zoë] Mmhmm.
Add it to the jetlag, not the best.
[sighs]
Do you know your room number?
[Shelley] Yeah.
Yeah, I got… I got the key here.
[Shelley] It feels further. Oh, no. Yeah.
This is…
[Bob] Here we go.
This is us.
What’s your room like?
[Bob] Oh, just like all the others, I’d imagine.
Yes. [chuckles]
[Shelley chuckles] Uh, is everything okay, hon?
[Zoë] Hmm?
[Shelley] You just seem a little antsy.
No, no, no. I’m fine. I’m fine.
[Shelley] Oh.
Just… Just the whiskey.
Yeah. Probably.
Yeah. Good night.
Good night.
Yeah, I’ll see you in the morning.
Yeah. Not if we see you first. [chuckles]
[Shelley laughs] Good night.
[Zoë chuckles]
[guard] Excuse me, sir.
[muffled laughter]
Everyone, you need a reservation to be in this compartment.
Tickets, please.
[passengers groaning]
[guard] All back to your allocated seats, please.
[passenger] It was empty.
[passenger 2] Come on, we’re in trouble.
[passengers laughing, clamoring]
Excuse me.
[grunts]
[suspenseful music playing]
[panting]
[stammers] Excuse me, madam.
You can’t be in here.
Sorry. Sorry.
Sir, sorry. You have to leave.
[Amos] Move.
[chef] What the hell?
[breathing shakily]
[passenger] Hey!
Sorry. Wrong cabin.
[guard] Are you having trouble finding your cabin, sir?
Yeah, sorry.
Is this not, uh, carriage E?
No. It’s this way.
Right.
[guard] A few carriages down.
[chuckling] Okay.
[chuckles]
Terrible sense of direction, me.
[Zoë sighs]
Oh, my God. [panting]
[sighs]
[panting, grunting]
Oh, God.
[panting] Thank fuck.
[phone buzzing]
[phone buzzing]
What?
Uh…
Are you all right?
Yeah, I’m fine. Fine.
Where are you? That’s not my house.
Oh, um, I wanted to be somewhere where the Internet traffic won’t be filtered, so I came to a gaming café.
I’m booting in from my own operating system.
But even if there is anyone watching, I’m on a proxy chain.
Plus, I spoofed my MAC address.
Okay, good for you.
What’s going on?
So I’ve decrypted those videos we found.
Just to warn you, Zoë, it’s horrific.
Like, think of the most horrible thing you’ve ever seen and then add a bit more.
Horrible.
Okay.
Anything else?
Uh, yeah. Before I press send, you got that VPN active that I put on your phone?
Yeah, yeah. Oh.
I need you to find out exactly where the doctor went in Scotland.
Uh, well, I could try to geolocate his messages.
That sometimes works.
[door closes] Right. I’m sending you the first clip now.
Wayne, I got to go.
[soldier] Stay low, Tommy!
[gunfire] That’s one of ours!
[screaming]
[soldier 1] Incoming!
[soldier 2] Incoming! Incoming!
[soldiers shouting indistinctly]
[soldier groans] Get it off me!
Get it off me!
[soldiers screaming]
Help me! Someone help me!
I’m burning up!
[Zoë groans]
[screaming continues]
[automated voice]
Distance from tracker, 91 miles.
[Amos grunts] Fuck this.
Hmm.
[car engine starts]
[gasps, grunts]
Michael?
Downey?
Michael?
Fucker.
Fuck.
Fu…
Fucking little shit.
Fucker.
Fuck.
[groans, crying]
I don’t know. Look, we just need new dog biscuits or something, because his poo really stinks.
It smells like…
Well, it smells like dog shit.
Yeah, okay. Yeah. No, no, no, it’s fine.
I’ll-I’ll pull a sickie and… and get him to the vet or something.
Malik.
I’ll call you back, love.
Yeah. Okay, bye. Bye-bye, love you.
Put the turds down and get in.
Yes.
Yeah. Come on, Nigel. Let’s go.
This way.
Come on. Um…
Sir, I’ve got my… Yeah, right.
Not the dog.
Yeah, um…
[C] Larry.
I mean, Eli.
[Hamza] Um…
[stammers]
Ah, right, yeah.
Okay. Great. Very kind. Yeah.
I’ll give you that.
Give you the dog. And…
Ping. And if you just stick that…
[mutters] It’s a bit smelly.
There you are.
Thanks.
[grunts, sighs]
I just wanted to drop by, congratulate you on how you handled the Crane situation.
Really? [chuckles] No.
[sighs]
No. I saw Crane the elder yesterday.
Alive and well on his way to Scotland with a nice, packed lunch.
[sighs, softly] Oh, no, no.
Just curious as to what was going through your mind when you told me he was dead?
Now he’s luring Downey north to deal with him.
Aka doing your job for you.
You could argue that’s a… that’s a good thing, you know?
Like a… like a self-emptying bin.
Were you dropped as a child?
Locked in a basement?
Starved of oxygen?
[stammers] Did the system fail you terribly?
No, sir.
Hmm.
You need to get to Scotland.
If you are unable to deal with whatever or whoever is left, we might not be able to keep you around much longer.
[sighs]
Do you understand?
[Hamza] Just to be clear, sir, do you mean, “keep me around” in the office or in the… existential sense?
Scotland.
Today.
[Hamza grunts]
Okay, great. Okay, brilliant.
Yeah, yeah. Lovely. Okay. Yeah.
[phone buzzing]
[car door opens]
[C] Main building, Eli.
Quick as you can.
[Eli] Yes, sir.
[alarm beeping]
[brakes screeching]
[gasps]
[grunts]
[PA chiming]
[guard 2] Ladies and gentlemen, a fire alarm has been activated.
We are evacuating the train.
[groans] Please make your way towards the exit.
Keep your belongings with you unless otherwise instructed.
[beeping continues]
[knocking on door]
[gasps]
[guard] All passengers, please evacuate the train.
All passengers, evacuate the train.
[guard 2] Right, keep moving please, ladies and gentlemen!
[sighs]
[grunts]
[beeping continues]
You sneaky little fucker.
[guard] Keep moving please, ladies and gentlemen!
[Zoë grunts]
[guard 2] Take care.
Watch your footing by the tracks.
[guard] Single file please, madam, for your own safety.
[guard 2] Queue to the left for the complimentary replacement buses.
Queue to the right for the taxi rank if you need to be on your way more quickly.
Please be advised there may be a long wait.
[taxi driver] What the hell!
That shyster stole my taxi.
We need to call the police.
[phone chiming]
[guard 2] This way please, madam.
We’ll have you and your little girl on your way in no time.
Could you take me to Firinn Village?
Fast as you can.
[“Road Runner” playing on radio]
I don’t…
Look, uh, Andy…
[chuckles] Shelley and I, uh, aren’t sure what’s going on here.
[chuckles]
Um…
Look, Andy, if you need money to pay for a taxi, we’ll, uh…
[Amos grunts]
[sighs] Okay, Andy, if you… if you need someone to talk to, we’re… we’re here for you.
And, uh… And we wanna help.
[Zoë] Bloody freezing.
[taxi driver] Soft southerners.
[Zoë] Glaswegian git.
[taxi driver] I’m not from Glasgow.
I’m from Paisley.
Well, that explains a lot.
[pants]
Uh, okay, uh, look, Andy, if-if you don’t wanna talk, then, uh, we’re gonna have to ask you to stop the car and-and… and let us out right now.
Or-Or, um, we-we’re gonna, uh, call the authorities.
Shelley, get…
Get it.
Okay.
I got it. I got it.
[tires squealing]
[Bob] Oh, ah.
Good, good. Thank-Thank God.
You’ve made a good decision, sir.
Thank you.
You’re a good man.
[sighs]
[song ends]
[car approaching]
[phone chimes]
Hang on, mate. Don’t… [stammers]
[sighs] Uh, go half a mile further towards the headland.
A disused army base.
[breathing shakily]
[line ringing]
[operator] Emergency. Which service?
Hi, um, I-I was out birdwatching, and, um, uh, I-I saw this taxi.
[crying] Oh, my God.
There… There… There’s two people dead.
I-I think they’re dead.
Okay, sir. Try to remain calm.
Oh, my God. They’re…
They’re definitely dead.
Uh… Uh, I think they’ve been shot.
Sir, did you say, “shot”?
There’s so much blood.
Are you in any danger, sir?
Mmhmm. Yeah.
Is the person with the weapon still in the area?
Uh… I saw a woman, uh, running away.
Okay. Can you give a description?
Short spiky hair, leather jacket.
Uh, big boots. Uh…
Face of pure evil.
Okay, sir.
If you could just
God. She’s coming back.
Yeah, sir?
She’s coming back.
She’s got a gun.
Sir, can you hear me?
[crying] No, no.
A team has been dispatched. They’re
[automated voice]
Distance from tracker, 14.7 miles.
[seafarer] Just go down there, by the bow.
Careful with it. Hey, it’s a lot.
[seafarer 2] God knows there’s plenty of it.
[seafarer] Let’s get out of here while the tide’s on our side.
[shopkeeper] Hi.
Hi.
[sighs] Local teenagers. Little shits.
It’s the third time this year.
[Sarah] This the bus that goes to the train station?
Yeah. Bus stop’s just down there, if you’re looking.
At least they only took cereal bars and energy drinks this time.
Some party that’ll be.
Do you take cash?
Of course.
Ah.
But it’d be wise to keep it in a locked vault with all these thugs around.
They break in, steal booze and fags, take it up to the old army base and have their little raves.
As if their mothers don’t all know each other.
Wait, did you say army base?
Yes.
[stammers] Uh, yeah, I’m just a, um, uh, I’m a military history nerd.
I might go and check it out.
Each to their own.
How far?
Not very.
It’s just up the hill, towards the headland.
You’re quickest to go on foot.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Have fun.
[Sarah] Downey?
[Cheski] Yeah, again.
[Talia] Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Uh. So, my priority is transparency, my aim accountability.
Both the chancellor and the prime minister have pledged money and support.
And in turn, I pledge to you, the people of Britain, that I am confident in my vision to place our country firmly at the forefront of ethical and sustainable international defense
and security innovation.
Yeah.
And that’s the end of this whole rousing speech bit.
Shall we practice those pesky press questions?
[Cheski] Mmhmm.
Yeah. [chuckles] Cheski. Sorry, “journalist from a well-known broadsheet.”
Minister, can you give the public absolute assurance that the British government does not use torture or rendition?
Absolute assurance.
[Cheski] Hmm.
Do we support regimes that do?
Absolutely not. Next question.
[Cheski] Can you clarify the government’s stance regarding the development of chemical weapons?
And can you reassure us that the research and development is carried out in line with the regulations of the Chemical Weapons Convention?
[Talia sighs] Crikey.
[groans] That’s a good question, Cheski.
Have to admit, some of those files I read from the MOD are a tiny bit opaque.
Any thoughts from our resident expert?
The weapons industry is the most regulated in the world.
I would suggest we don’t give space to speculation.
Yeah. Yep.
Okay, great. I knew you’d have an answer.
Uh, Minister, hair and makeup are waiting for you upstairs.
Oh, shit. Gotta get changed. Yeah.
Press briefing in a PE kit.
Not a good look. [chuckles] Well, bravo. You seem very well-prepared.
Ready for combat.
[Talia] Yeah.
No, well, you know, there’s a SoulCycle across the street, so…
Cringe, I know, but it gets the blood pumping before a big event.
Hmm. I’m sure it does.
[chuckles] Well, bonam fortunam.
Sorry, did he just put a spell on me?
[chuckles]
Am I the only person who thinks talking to him is like having a chat with a hand grenade?
Ugh.
[Sarah panting]
[panting]
Oh, my God.
Come on, Sarah.
[panting] Come on, Sarah.
[panting, mumbling]
What is this place?
[music playing through speaker]
[Sarah] Hey! Excuse me!
Have you seen anyone around here?
You know, like a… [sighs] …like a man?
[teenager] Give us a twenty and we’ll tell you!
[laughing]
No!
Anyway, I don’t have a twenty.
[teenagers laughing]
[teenager] Loser.
I’m sorry?
I called you a loser!
[laughing]
Oh, my God. This is exactly what’s wrong with kids today.
Absolutely no respect.
Tragic.
No, you’re the loser. Okay?
[teenagers yelling, laughing]
[Sarah] Stop! No!
See, your fault.
That was your fault.
[teenager] Yeah, yeah.
[teenager 2] Loser! Loser!
[clanging]
[gasps]
[Steph] …to her tail.
And if you looked close, even each fingernail.
But Dotty had a problem with the shapes on her skin.
She thought…
[Nev] Sunderland wins again!
[Ty] Nah, nah, nah. Best of five.
Keep count.
Best of five.
[Nev] Have you not had enough yet?
[Steph] Green, brown, or red.
Can I watch my cartoon?
Yeah. You can.
We’ll need to find your headphones.
[Nev] That’s a goal.
What do you mean goal?
Call FIFA if you’re gonna cry about it.
Will you stop trying to wreck the place, please?
Suppose I have to clean up your mess?
Oh, my God. What is that?
[Ty] Ugh. Some kind of torture porn?
[Nev] That’s grim.
[Steph] Ah, that is so wrong.
Hang on. I just saw something out in the corridor on the…
[gasps]
[breathes shakily]
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
Come on, Sarah.
Come on, Sarah.
Okay, um… Okay.
Three.
Two.
[bangs]
Oh, my God.
Hey.
[Steph] Jesus Christ.
What the fuck are you doing here?
My job?
Fuck!
Nice to see you too.
[Sarah] Fuck!
Fuck!
Ow! [grunts] Ow! [grunting] Okay?
Right, now you’ve acted out your frustration that there’s nothing here but a couple of cans of paint and a twenty-year-old ham sandwich…
I think we should have a chat.
There’s something I wanna show you.
She’s dead, isn’t she?
Who? The kid?
Yeah, they’ll have killed her already.
[Zoë] No, no. No. Dinah’s useful to them.
I reckon they’ll keep her alive till the very last moment.
This is all my fault.
Okay. Much as I would love to agree with you and watch you suffer, we haven’t got time for that.
We’re gonna find that little girl if it kills us.
Which it quite possibly might.
How? How are we gonna find her?
I just wanted to give a kid a card in hospital, and now I’ve destroyed my entire life.
[sighs]
So what do you wanna do, Sarah?
I wanna go home.
[Zoë] That’s not an option.
I mean, even if you did want to limp all the way to Oxford and beg your arsehole of an ex-husband to take you back, you wouldn’t be able to, mate, ’cause you’d be dead.
Dead or disappeared.
Like Maddie Singleton. Like Tommy.
Like Joe.
Whether by accident or by being pretty fucking brave, you have found your way to the heart of something huge, something awful.
And something which has to come out.
[soldiers shouting]
I mean, at the risk of sounding like my late husband, this actually does go all the way to the top.
Is this what they did to Downey?
[screaming]
Oh, my God. I can’t look at that.
[Zoë] Yeah. Yeah. Let’s go.
This place is a dead end anyway.
But the trail led us both here, so chances are we are close.
Wipe your nose.
I’ll buy you a stiff drink.
It’s 10:00 in the morning, Zoë.
You’re very prim… for an outlaw.
[Sarah sighs]
[Downey] Shit.
[engine starts]
[seagulls squawking]
[shutter clicking]
[police chattering on radio]
Hey, Callum.
Well, it’s a nasty one.
[Callum] Forensics are gonna need more time for the pictures.
Okay. Do we have the firearms response team yet?
On their way.
Could’ve sworn this would turn out to be a prank call.
[tech] This was in the victim’s handbag, ma’am.
[Shona] Thanks.
She matches the description.
[seagulls squawking]
Well, go and get yourself a hot Ribena.
Dr. Death and his guinea pigs were somewhere near here, so do some digging.
Yeah, all right, all right.
I know what I’m doing.
While you’re in there, wash your face.
You look like shit.
Oh, my God. Are you deliberately mean, or is there something wrong with you?
Oh…
[door opens]
[owner] “Always sharp,” five across.
[shopkeeper] Knife.
[owner] No. The fourth letter’s I.
[shopkeeper] Oh. Hello.
You find the army base?
[Sarah] Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I did.
Um, but you were right.
Just teenagers drinking.
On which note, what can I get you?
Um, do you have any hot drinks?
[both chuckle]
No? No, okay.
Oh, um… No, I’ll just have a… just have a Coke then.
That’s fine, I think.
Okay.
Another Coke.
[glasses clink]
It’s quiet today, isn’t it?
It’s quiet every day.
You must miss the army types. You know?
Heard they like a drink.
[chuckles] You can say that again.
It’s £3.50, please.
These days it’s just the newlyweds and nearly-deads round here.
[owner] We still get the odd military type through.
It’s just nothing like it was.
I wonder why they come back.
The… The military types.
Is there a… Is there another base around here or anything?
She’s a military nerd.
[owner] Who cares why they come back as long as they buy my booze?
Never mind the army base, what about a Puffin Tour?
[Sarah] Uh… Yeah. Yeah.
That’s great. Looks great. Yeah.
Okay.
Thanks.
[owner] Bowie.
Mmm, always sharp.
Five across.
[car door opens]
[Hamza] Hello, sir. I didn’t, uh… expect you to…
Oh. Which is nice.
[C] Present for you.
Oh, my goodness.
Thought it was time.
[Hamza] Oh.
Whoever is left standing, Amos or Downey, you take them out.
[Hamza inhales sharply]
Yes, sir.
Death or glory, Malik.
[Hamza gasps]
Strike like a cobra.
[car engine starts]
[car door opens, closes]
Scotland, please.
[stammers] Don’t know…
Don’t know why I said that. You’re not…
You’re not a taxi.
Carry on.
All right. Pass it here.
I reckon he’s gonna be putting through so much stuff already.
It’s rough out there.
They should be paying us more for these deliveries.
They’re paying more to keep us quiet.
Can you get rid of this rubbish properly?
Don’t forget, yeah?
Yeah.
Morning.
Fish playing hard to get, are they?
We weren’t fishing.
[owner, shopkeeper chattering]
[Sarah] Excuse me.
How come there are only five islands on here and there’s six on there?
[owner sighs]
Well, that’s probably just a dodgy old map.
[Sarah] Uh…
Uh, do you have a pen?
[phone ringing]
Thanks.
[owner] Excuse me.
[owner] Hiya.
[Callum speaks indistinctly on phone]
[owner] What is it? What’s happened?
Fucking hell.
Oh, my God. Callum.
Two dead bodies?
Imagine coming all the way from America to get shot through the head in Scotland.
Yeah. I could hardly believe it myself.
[owner] Well, who do you think…
Well, we think we have a photo of the suspect.
Uh-huh.
Short, silver spiky hair.
Right.
And look, we believe they’re armed…
Spiky silver hair.
…and dangerous.
He could still be armed and dangerous.
It was a woman.
[owner] It’s a woman?
Has anyone been into the pub that matches that description?
No. No…
[whispering] Fucking fuck.
…there’s been nobody like that through here today.
Thank you.
I-I’ll keep an eye out for her.
[Callum] Be careful.
Listen, there’s a supply boat…
[shushes] Stop talking.
…there’s a supply boat just come in from there empty and fishermen acting very fishy.
[Sarah] Quick.
What the fuck are you…
Go, go.
[Zoë] What?
Uh…
Wear this.
Under no circumstances.
The police are after you.
Apparently, you’re armed and dangerous.
Shit.
They found two dead Americans.
Jesus, Zoë.
[pants]
Oh, fu…
[panting, stammers]
Fucking psycho.
We’re looking for Dinah in the wrong place.
[Sarah] Yeah. We’re gonna need a boat.
Yeah, we are.
There’s another island.
Sixth island in the archipelago.
They kept it off the maps.
Oh.
[Sarah] Excuse me. Hi.
We want a trip round the islands to, um…
You know, we would love to see the birds.
[captain] Aw, not today.
It’s getting a bit rough out there.
Wouldn’t be safe for a couple of young ladies like yourselves.
We’re not ladies. We’re women.
And I’m, hello, old.
[Sarah] Yeah, and I’m middle-aged.
But we do have very good sea legs.
Oh, well, I do.
Well, she’ll be face down in a bucket before we leave harbor, won’t you?
That’s not helpful.
[sighs] Please?
We’re only here for one day.
And we’re on our honeymoon.
Yeah. We love each other very much.
[Sarah sighs] Yeah, we do really, really love wildlife.
Yeah. [chuckles]
[captain] You’ll have to leave now.
Why? Because we’re a same-sex couple?
No, because the wind’s getting up and, uh, I don’t want to be responsible for a couple of stupid English women going over the side.
[Sarah grunts]
No, we’re coming on board, and we’re gonna see some fucking puffins.
What the hell are you doing?
Where are your keys?
What
Get off the fu
I want your keys, please. Get
Go, you maniac. You nutter.
Keep it down.
Get off the boat.
[Sarah] Yeah, fucking… [grunting]
Oh, for fuck’s s…
[grunting]
Don’t kill him.
[captain shouts, grunting]
Oh, God. [breathing heavily]
[captain shouts]
[muffled] English bastard!
Quick, push us off.
I’m doing it.
[“Black Steel” playing]
Where the fuck is he?
[Sarah] I put him in there.
[Zoë] Fuck. Good work, actually.
[music continues]
Okay, where are we going?
Forward.
I’ve heard it’s lovely.
