TV SERIES

Agatha All Along – S01E06 – Familiar by Thy Side | Transcript

October 19, 2024

Familiar Teen is much more than he seems, and his connections to the rest of the coven are revealed.

Agatha All Along
Season 1 – Episode 6
Episode title: Familiar by Thy Side
Original release date: October 16, 2024

Plot: In flashbacks, William Kaplan, a teenager from Eastview, is celebrating his Bar Mitzvah when he encounters Lilia. Reading on his palm something she does not disclose, Lilia casts the sigil on William to protect him, instantly forgetting his identity as well. The party ends when the Hex created by Wanda begins to fall. While driving past Westview, William’s parents have a car accident and he dies. At the same time, Billy Maximoff’s soul enters William’s body, awakening him. William has trouble adjusting after the accident due to his newfound ability to read minds and his lack of memory of his life before. Three years later, William and his boyfriend Eddie meet with Ralph Bohner, who used to be controlled by Agatha inside Wanda’s Hex. He tells them about what happened there and about Wanda’s twins Billy and Tommy, making William realize he is actually the former. Determined to use the Witches’ Road to find Tommy, William goes to Agatha and breaks Wanda’s spell. In the present, Agatha escapes the mud and confronts William. Realizing that the sigil has been destroyed, she deduces what his goal is and tells him that they must continue together since William cannot control his power.

* * *

Hey!

[Detective Agnes] What compelled you to break into the home of a decorated detective?

Hey!

What were you after?

The Road.

What road?

You, of all people, should know.

[chanting in Latin]

[Agatha in English] If you’ve got the goods to break a spell cast by the Scarlet Witch, why do you need The Road?

Again, who are you?

I’m…

Someone’s put a sigil on that boy.

A sigil is a redaction spell that hides something.

Did you put the sigil on me?

Actually, I wouldn’t know. It works on the witch who cast it as well.

Sigils are destroyed when they’re no longer needed.

[Teen] How old were you?

Thirteen, maybe.

A lot happened to me at 13, too.

Wake up. Alice. Please wake up.

Don’t touch her!

You’re so much like your mother.

Wait, what are you… [grunts and exclaims]

[all screaming]

[Jen] Teen! Help.

No! No!

[Lilia yells] No!

[Teen praying in Hebrew]

[people pray along]

[Teen continues praying]

[reading in Hebrew]

[♪ dance music palying]

[Jeff] You look like you’re having fun.

Who, me? Never.

Here. Have you eaten anything? Oh, good. Perfect.

[Rebecca] Oh, look at you.

[Jeff] Eat this.

We are so proud of you.

We love you more than we could ever hope to communicate in human words.

Gross.

Ew, you’re gross.

You’re both disgusting.

[chuckles]

Thank you for everything.

William, come on. It’s time.

There you are.

Yes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!

There you go.

[♪ “Hava Nagila” playing]

[boy] Yeah, William!

This is so extra! Okay. Okay.

[♪ dance music playing]

[Voice] Welcome to the curious.

Are we looking behind us, or ahead?

Ahead.

I think.

Yeah, do ahead.

Let us see what the future has in store.

Please. May I have your right palm?

Don’t tell me everything.

I don’t wanna know too much.

Sorry. I…

Just pretend I’m not here.

It’s clear that a long journey lies ahead of you.

This journey will be one of great transformation and…

[electricity crackling]

Your lifeline is broken in two.

[Teen] What?

That can’t be good.

It can mean many things.

It often represents personal growth and important life changes.

You’re becoming a man.

A new you.

I wouldn’t worry.

The Tower Reversed.

I thought you were reading my palm.

I’m sorry. I…

I just remembered something, I think.

Okay, well, I probably should…

go back to the party.

Love the vibe in here, though. It’s very early Argento.

You don’t need to be a psychic to see that you’re a good egg.

Enjoy the now, baby.

It’s the only thing that’s certain.

[♪ dance music playing in distance]

[people chattering indistinctly]

Oh, sorry. Um, some kid left this in my tent.

Will you make sure that they get it back?

Which kid?

I don’t remember.

[mic tapping]

[Jeff] Sorry to interrupt.

We’ve been informed there’s something happening

with the anomaly in Westview.

Everybody needs to go home as quickly and as safely as possible.

[all clamoring]

What’s going on?

Sweetheart, I’m so sorry. I think we have to go.

Yeah.

What?

[people clamoring]

[sirens wailing]

[Vision] My wife and her flying saucers.

[Wanda] My husband and his indestructible head.

[audience laughs on radio]

[Rebecca shushes] It’s okay.

It’s okay. We’ll be home soon.

[Jeff] Is it going away?

[Rebecca] It looks like it’s getting smaller.

Mom, look out!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Are you okay? Oh, my God. William. William? William!

[Rebecca] Is he okay?

No, he’s bleeding.

What? William, can you hear me, baby?

Call 911.

I’m trying.

I don’t think he’s breathing. I can’t get to him.

[Jeff] It’s not going through.

William.

Oh, no. Jeff. Look.

I’m gonna flag them down.

William, oh, no! No, no, no!

[Jeff] Help! Hey!

I’m coming. Hold on.

[in distance] William! Oh, no, I can’t get to him.

[Billy] Good night, Tommy.

[Tommy] Good night, Billy.

[gasps] Tommy!

Hey, hey.

[Jeff] Rebecca.

[Rebecca] You’re all right.

You’re gonna be okay.

Are you okay?

Is he breathing?

Yes, he is now.

Okay.

[Jeff] Thank God.

Don’t move him.

The ambulance is on the way.

[paramedic] Can you say your name?

Do you know where you are?

Do you remember what happened?

It’ll be okay.

It’s okay.

[Teen breathing heavily]

[Jeff] It’s okay.

[Jeff] There’s nothing physically wrong?

[Rebecca] He’s clearly different.

[doctor] I’m referring you to an excellent psychologist.

And of course I’m here, too, if you need it.

[Rebecca] Thank you.

[Jeff] Hey, buddy.

Hey.

This is where you’d say, “Since when do you call me ‘buddy’?”

Would I?

[Rebecca] Seriously? He’s gonna make fun of him?

[Jeff] She’s giving me that look. I’m doing my best here.

It’s fine. Just please don’t fight.

What do you mean?

We’re not fighting.

Everything’s okay. We’re with you.

Yeah, sorry.

So, the doctor was saying all the scans look clean.

And there’s no signs of permanent damage.

She thinks the amnesia will just take a little time to resolve on its own.

That’s all.

[Jeff] The really good news is you’re cleared to be discharged

as soon as tomorrow.

[Rebecca] Well, only if you’re ready. Are you?

Ready?

Yeah, of course.

[Rebecca] Okay. Home sweet, messy,

someday-we’re-gonna-getthat-bathroom-renovated, home.

[Jeff] So happy you’re finally home, William. Goodness.

Thanks.

[Rebecca] Okay. I’m gonna change the water in this.

[Jeff] I’m gonna pop up the AC. It’s just stuffy.

Here. Let me get this one.

Oh, yeah.

[barking]

[Jeff and Rebecca] Greg!

Greg, chill out. It’s William. It’s just William.

It’s probably just the smell from the hospital or something.

Okay, come here. Come here. Come here.

[Rebecca] He looks so scared.

[Jeff] Oh, my God. This is so hard. When will he remember?

I don’t understand what’s happening.

What? What is it, honey?

[Jeff] The doctor said no stress

but it really feels like we’re stressing him out.

[Rebecca] What are we supposed to do?

How do we fix this? I just want him back!

Please just stop. Please stop! Please just stop.

Stop what, buddy?

[Rebecca] Maybe seeing his room will jog some…

[Jeff] What if he never remembers?

What if he just stays like this?

[Rebecca] His favorite restaurant.

Lost, anxious, alone?

There has to be something.

What if…

Give me my son!

Will he be okay?

Stop worrying!

I’m sorry. I just…

Maybe you’re right, Mom.

Maybe I just need to see my room.

How did…

[Teen] Do you mind if I…

go up alone?

It’s no problem. Of course.

Maybe when I come back down, we can have dinner.

My treat.

[Jeff chuckles]

My name is William Kaplan.

I’m William Kaplan.

I am William Kaplan.

[Teen] I had fun.

And I always have fun with you.

What is this thing? You always have it with you.

[Teen] It’s nothing.

It’s a sigil. At least, I…

I think it is. It’s like a puzzle. Sort of.

Puzzle?

Well, have you solved it?

No, it’s…

It’s impossible.

[Eddie] I’m just gonna say it.

I can’t not say it.

I’m just gonna say, “William Kaplan. I love you.”

I…

[chuckles nervously] Sorry. I just…

I need to tell you something.

Really? I need to tell you something.

Yeah, me first.

Okay.

So this thing happens when I’m with someone I care a lot about

and they’re having intense feelings.

I already sound like a freak…

I’m… I’m into it.

The car accident.

I never told you about it, but, uh…

Eddie, I…

I died that night.

And when I came back, I was different.

Something else. Something more.

I’m not William Kaplan. At least not entirely.

I still don’t remember anything from before the accident.

I just pretended to recover so my parents wouldn’t worry.

But nothing in my life has felt normal until I met you.

But I want you to know the truth. I want you to know the real me.

Whoever that is, because…

Because I love you, too.

You love me… too?

I love you, period.

[chuckles]

For the first time.

What did you wanna…

So you don’t think I’m crazy?

Uh, no, I totally do. But for completely different reasons.

You’re under no obligation to be this cool.

I do have one question.

Just one?

If you’re not William Kaplan,

who are you?

[Teen] So I’ve compiled a dossier.

Of course you have.

And no distractions, please. I’m gonna need you to hide those arms.

So on the night of the accident, we were only a few miles from Westview.

At the exact moment we crashed, that anomaly was collapsing.

That big, red dome thing in the sky.

Exactly.

I thought that turned out to be some Avengers training exercise gone wrong.

You’re so adorably trusting.

For those of you who are a little more adventurous,

you can melt the probiotic candles.

What?

Look at her skin.

That level of flawless should be illegal.

…face mask. It’s completely safe.

Okay, here.

Oh, the light!

[Eddie] All right, so what do you think

this really is then?

Aliens?

No.

Look. Here.

See? Those are runes.

This was a spell.

Witchcraft.

People who were there refuse to talk about it.

But I did find this guy on Reddit.

He used to live there. I’m supposed to meet him tomorrow.

I’m adorably trusting?

We couldn’t have met him somewhere with lights or people?

More coffee?

This is where he suggested.

That’s my point.

I think that’s him.

[Eddie] In the trench coat hiding in the shadows? Yeah.

Who doesn’t want to get murdered?

Are you CraftCrazy17?

You must be Bohnerrific69.

You can just call me Ralph. Randall. Call me Randall.

Thanks for coming. No one else would meet with me.

You’re not wearing a wire, are you?

For what?

Don’t worry about it. You…

No! See! Look, look. No wire. No need to frisk.

[car engine starts]

Get down!

So what did you want to know?

Just start with what you remember.

I remember everything.

Wanda had the whole town acting out this weird, sad sitcom plot.

Wanda Maximoff?

You wanna hear this or not, bub?

You couldn’t move or talk or do anything…

anything on your own.

It was like watching yourself on TV inside your own head.

But you couldn’t turn it off.

It was not a good time!

Do you feel like it changed you?

Can you, like, do stuff now?

You mean, like, wake up every hour in the middle of the night screaming?

No, like, stuff you couldn’t do before.

What are you talkin’ about?

Never mind.

Anything else of note?

Nope.

Please don’t ask about Agatha Harkness. Please don’t ask about Agatha Harkness.

What do you know about Agatha Harkness?

Come on, man!

Who is she?

She’s an ancient witch

who will eff your shit up.

Ugh! Gross. What?

What the hell is that, man?

It’s witch repellent!

You fools. I’m outta here. Amateur hour.

Wait, Mr. Bohnerrific! I just wanna talk.

Fine. Fine! You want the full deal? I’ll tell you.

But it’ll cost you extra.

No problem.

[Ralph vocalizing]

[Ralph grunts]

I didn’t just suffer like the rest of the yahoos in Westview.

My deal was way, way worse.

How?

Agatha hijacked my life!

God damn it!

She called me her husband.

But I was her puppet.

She stole my house,

completely ruined the market value.

And she made me do these horrible things like,

I held this really nice lady hostage in my attic.

I was a terrible influence on Wanda and Vision’s kids.

And I poisoned a dog.

Woof.

Hey!

Wait, Wanda and Vision have kids?

Had. Past tense. Twins.

What were their names?

Billy and Tommy.

Tommy.

[Ralph] The little speedster

and his mind-reading brother.

Well, what happened to them?

Who knows? I mean, Wanda’s dead.

Word on the street is S.W.O.R.D. used Vision for parts.

And the twins,

they just disappeared.

But you wanna know what I think?

That they got sucked up into that red bubble thing

like everything else Wanda made.

After that, I cut and run. Left my entire Blu-ray collection behind.

Agatha can keep my BowFlex.

I’m never going back.

Wait, Agatha is still in Westview?

[Ralph] Last I heard, she was under some kind of spell.

Acting like a normal resident. Sourdough starters, potlucks, and whatnot.

So she’s harmless?

Did I say that?

I did not say that!

No.

Hey!

Word to the wise,

don’t go sniffing around there.

Or you’ll end up buried in that yard with that dog, or worse!

You seriously don’t know what kind of crazy that lady eats for breakfast.

So, I accept cash or…

I can give you half-off tickets to my one man show in Paramus.

I really need to fill seats.

So what’s it gonna be?

[Rebecca] Hi.

[Jeff] Hello.

Hi.

Hey.

What, no Eddie?

He had to go home.

[Jeff] Oh, man, I made that pot roast he likes so much.

I even made the potatoes in the air fryer. They’re super crispy.

You wanna watch a movie? Psychological horror.

Freaky but grounded.

I got homework to do.

[Lorna Wu singing] ♪ I have learned the lesson ♪

♪ Of all that’s foul and fair ♪

♪ Our love was forged in fire ♪

♪ Water, earth and air ♪

♪ The spell is cast How long it lasts ♪

♪ I cannot divine ♪

♪ The Road is there And so I dare ♪

♪ To risk this heart of mine ♪