The Scraps Index

Stand-Up Comedy Transcripts

Read and browse our collection of stand-up comedy transcripts, indexed by comedian and special.

Latest transcripts

Bryan Callen: Never Grow Up

Bryan Callen: Never Grow up (2017)

Barry Brewer: I Accidentally Went on a Gay Date

Barry Brewer: I Accidentally Went on a Gay Date

Jeff Arcuri: Nice to Meet You

Jeff Arcuri: Nice to Meet You (2026)

Browse all transcripts

593 stand-up transcripts

The Roast of Kevin Hart (2026)

The Roast of Tom Brady (2024)

Robby Hoffman: I’m Nervous (2019)

Robby Hoffman: Wake up (2025)

Robin Williams: Live on Broadway (2002)

Robin Williams: Weapons of Self Destruction (2009)

Rob Schneider: Asian Momma, Mexican Kids (2020)

Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America (2019)

Ronny Chieng: Love to Hate It (2024)

Ron White: A Little Unprofessional (2012)

Ron White: If You Quit Listening, I’ll Shut up (2018)

Rory Scovel: The Charleston Special (2015)

Rory Scovel on Religion

Rory Scovel Tries Stand-Up for the First Time (2017)

Roseanne Barr: Cancel This! (2023)

Rowan Atkinson Live (1992)

Roy Wood Jr.: Father Figure (2017)

Roy Wood Jr.: No One Loves You (2019)

Russell Brand: Messiah Complex (2013)

Russell Howard: Recalibrate (2017)

Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies (2009)

Russell Peters: Almost Famous (2016)

Russell Peters: Deported (2020)

Russell Peters: Outsourced (2006)

Ryan Hamilton: This Just Hit Me (2026)

Ryan Hamilton Stand-Up – The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (2019)

Sal Vulcano: Terrified (2024)

Sam Jay: 3 in the Morning (2020)

Sam Morril: I Got This (2020)

Sam Morril: You’ve Changed (2024)

Sammy Obeid: Charlie Kirk – America’s Turning Point?

Sammy Obeid: How to Save Gaza

Sammy Obeid: Martyr in a Safe Space (2022)

Sammy Obeid: Solving Charlie Kirk’s Murder

Sammy Obeid: The Epstein ‘Philes

Sammy Obeid: Where Is Bethlehem?

Sammy Obeid on Palestine

Sammy Obeid on Palestine Censorship

Sarah Cooper: Everything’s Fine (2020)

Sarah Millican: Chatterbox Live (2011)

Sarah Silverman: A Speck of Dust (2017)

Sarah Silverman: Jesus Is Magic (2005)

Sarah Silverman: Postmortem (2025)

Sarah Silverman: Saturday Night Live Monologue – Season 40 | Episode 2 | 10/04/2014

Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles (2013)

Sara Pascoe: Ladsladslads (2019)

Saturday Night News with George Carlin [11/10/1984]

Sebastian Maniscalco: Aren’t You Embarrassed? (2014)

Sebastian Maniscalco: It Ain’t Right (2025)

Sebastian Maniscalco: Stay Hungry (2019)

Sebastian Maniscalco: What’s Wrong with People? (2012)

Sebastian Maniscalco Stand-Up – The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (2019)

Seth Meyers: Dad Man Walking (2024)

Seth Meyers: Lobby Baby (2019)

Seth Meyers at the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner

Shane Gillis: Beautiful Dogs (2023)

Shane Gillis: Live in Austin

Shane Gillis Stand-Up Monologue – SNL

Sincerely Louis Ck (2020)

The Standups: Gina Yashere (2018)