You’re Cordially Invited (2025)
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director: Nicholas Stoller
Writers: Nicholas Stoller
Stars: Will Ferrell, Reese Witherspoon, Geraldine Viswanathan, Meredith Hagner, Jimmy Tatro, Stony Blyden, Leanne Morgan, Rory Scovel, Keyla Monterroso Mejia, Ramona Young, Jack McBrayer, Fortune Feimster, Celia Weston, Wyatt Russell, Bobby Moynihan
Plot: When two weddings are accidentally booked on the same day at the same venue, each bridal party is challenged with preserving their family’s special moment. In a hilarious battle of determination, the father of one bride (Will Ferrell) and the sister of the other bride (Reese Witherspoon) chaotically go head-to-head as they stop at nothing to uphold an unforgettable celebration for their loved ones.
* * *
[♪ Stevie Wonder: “Isn’t She Lovely”]
[vacuum whirring]
♪ Isn’t she lovely ♪
♪ Isn’t she wonderful ♪
♪ Isn’t she precious ♪
♪ Less than one minute old ♪
♪ I never thought through love we’d be ♪
♪ Making one as lovely as she ♪
♪ But isn’t she lovely, made from love ♪
♪ Isn’t she pretty ♪
♪ Truly the angel’s best ♪
[sighs]
♪ Boy, I’m so happy ♪
♪ We have been heaven blessed ♪
[timer dinging]
♪ I can’t believe what God has done ♪
♪ Through us, he’s given life to on e ♪
♪ But isn’t she ♪
[song ends]
[dog barking in distance]
[doorbell rings]
Welcome home, cuddle bug.
Snug like a bug in a rug.
Hi, Daddy, Daddy, fo-faddy, banana-bana, fo-faddy.
Who’s in the house?
Uh, Daddy’s in the house.
Big Papa’s in the house.
[both] Big Papa, Big Papa, Big Papa, Big-whoo!
Break it down.
[grunting rhythmically]
Yeah. Keep it going. Don’t stop.
[laughing] Hey, Dad.
Hi.
Oh, my gosh.
How’s everything? You good?
Yeah. Yeah, good.
[Jim] Yeah?
[chuckling] Hey.
Hey.
Oh. [short laugh]
I didn’t know Oliver would be joining us.
Yeah.
[Jenni and Oliver squealing]
[Jim yells]
Wait, what…?
We’re getting married.
[♪ Stevie Wonder: “Isn’t She Lovely”]
[slow, distorted] ♪ Isn’t she lovely ♪
♪ Isn’t she wonderful ♪
♪ Isn’t she precious ♪
♪ Less than one minute old ♪
[distorted] Are you okay?
♪ I never thought through love we’d ♪
[distorted] Yeah, I’m fine.
[normal voice] That’s a lot of blood.
That’s a lot of blood at once.
I’m fine. I put a towel on it.
It’s all wrapped up.
So, are you guys sure about this?
What do you mean?
You two are pretty young.
Yeah, but you and Mom got married right after college.
Also, isn’t it a little weird that you didn’t ask my permission?
What, Dad?
I’m just saying, don’t you think it’s a little odd
that he didn’t, like, go for the permish?
The permish?
Yeah.
It’s just the polite thing to do to just go for the permish.
Simple heads-up. “Hey, man. Hey, Jim.
I’m marrying your daughter, who you spent your whole life raising alone.”
Dad, why are you doing this?!
Why are you picking a fight on literally the best day of my life?!
I got a question for you: Who the fuck is this motherfucker?!
What?
I don’t fucking know that guy.
Yes, you do. You’ve known him for fucking years.
[Jim] Yes, technically, I know him,
but I don’t really know him, like husband know him.
Well, now you do.
Where are you gonna live?
Oh, you want to know where we’re gonna live?
I would love to know ’cause I thought you were moving back in here with me!
Oh.
Well, we-we’re gonna live here in Atlanta.
You are?
[Jenni] Yeah, we could end up living down the street,
but instead you make it all about you,
like always.
No, no.
Sweetie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s not about me.
It isn’t.
[sighs] I just want everything for you, that’s all.
[crying] I know you do, Daddy.
Oh.
I’m so sorry. I should’ve told Oliver to call you.
[Jim] No, this is your decision, okay?
Congratulations. Welcome to the family.
[Jenni and Jim laugh]
Are you sure your hand’s okay?
There’s, like, blood everywhere.
Yeah, look, it’s totally fine.
Yeah.
Come, b-bring it in.
[Jim chuckles]
Oliver.
All right, well…
Let’s dive right in. I can’t wait to plan this.
No need. I’m gonna ask Heather to plan it.
Heather? She… Isn’t she the one who parties all the time?
Yeah, which is why she’s perfect.
She planned Crunk Fest for our sorority.
Yeah, Crunk Fest was lit.
Yes, that’s right. You did say Crunk Fest was lit.
Oh, yeah.
Any-any thoughts of where you might want to get married?
I thought we’d get married where you and Mom got married.
[phone ringing]
Palmetto House. Scarlett speaking.
[Jim] Hi, Scarlett.
My name is Jim Caldwell. I don’t know if you remember me.
I got married at your inn many years ago.
Oh, yes, Jim, I remember your wedding.
Oh, great.
Well, now my daughter Jenni would love to get married
at the Palmetto as well, uh, next summer.
Oh, that’s wonderful.
Now, May is fully booked,
and as you know, given the size
of the island, we can only book one wedding per weekend.
Okay, uh, how about June 1st?
June 1st? June 1st it is.
Yes. Uh, we’ll book the entire place.
Let me get you a credit card.
I’ll take care of that later, Jim.
You’re a friend of the family.
Oh. See you June 1st.
That sounds great.
Just need to find a pen that works.
I’m sorry?
[dial tone drones]
Wha… Hello?
Jenni Caldwell, June 1st.
[whimpers] Mercy.
[thuds]
Your wedding has been booked.
Who’s in the house?
Big Daddy’s in the house.
Who’s in the house?
Big Daddy’s in the house.
And Oliver’s in the house.
Yes, Oliver is. Oliver’s in the house, too.
Yeah, we’re all in the house.
[Jenni] Palmetto House, my gosh. And now that you’ve done your research,
it’s time to answer the question we’ve all been waiting to ask:
Is it dead?
[dramatic music playing]
[explosion]
From afar,
the raccoon is indeed dead.
[echoes] Dead.
I would like to use one of my approach points.
[raccoon snarls]
[Taylor screaming]
[bleep]
I’m sorry, the raccoon was in fact not dead.
[announcer] Up next, from Black Sheep Productions.
This is… Masquerade! ♪ Masquerade ♪
♪ I feel like an animal, the way you got me tonight ♪
[music continues over monitor]
♪ Yeah, I’m an animal…
Yeah, tell them I’ll be there in three minutes. Okay.
Margot. Margot.
Yeah.
Sandra from the network called.
In an upcoming episode of Dirty Thirties…
Mm-hmm.
They’re feeling like Melody is a bit of a… bit of a-a “B.”
A what?
Like a b-uh, uh…
B-B, uh…
Are you trying to say the word “bitch”?
Oh, my gosh.
I would never, I support women, but yes.
Of course she’s a bitch.
Reality television was built as a platform for bitchy women.
These network executives are starting to sound like my mother.
Just tell them to fuck off.
Okay.
But in a nice way.
Yeah.
Like how I would say it.
“Fuck off, y’all.”
Not the same words.
Uh, “We’re-we’re not seeing eye to eye.”
Better. Mm.
“Respectfully.”
Uh, remember, Peyton’s gonna be here for his pitch any minute now.
Got it.
[elevator bell dings]
Neve? Dixon?
[gasps] Hi!
Wait, I didn’t realize you were coming so soon.
We made super good time.
Oh, I’m so excited to see you.
Hello.
Welcome to L.A.
Oh, my God, it’s Peyton Manning.
Hey.
[Margot] Oh, hi.
Margot Buckley.
Hey. Peyton.
I’ve been so excited to pitch you this.
You know, um… [gasps]
Are you engaged?
Yeah. [laughs]
Oh, my God, you’re engaged!
My baby sister’s engaged.
I’m engaged.
Oh, my God. Okay.
Let me see, let me see.
You did so good.
You’re gonna be my brother-in-law.
[Dixon chuckles]
Oh, my God. Oh.
Okay, how did you do it? What did you say? Did you get down on one knee?
Uh, Peyton Manning’s just kind of waiting right there.
Oh, yeah, but Peyton Manning can wait.
Oh, yeah, you know, took her to Ruth’s Chris
and just kind of said, “Do you want to get married?”
And then I was like, “Yes!”
[Neve laughs]
[Margot] Okay, this is Neve and I at Palmetto Island.
The most beautiful place on Earth.
Which our mama hates.
Oh, she hates it.
And this is us in our Esprit T-shirts. We were obsessed.
We never took them off.
Never.
[Dixon] Why are all these photos just you and Neve?
Don’t y’all have like two other siblings and also, you know, parents?
Oh, yeah, I don’t like them, and they don’t like me.
Oh, I thought that was just like a, like a cute thing you said.
No, it’s not.
No.
[Dixon] That’s too bad. All right.
If I may, where’s the commode?
Oh, it’s at the end of the hall, on the left.
Cool.
Let me tell you something.
If you get married and abandon me, I’m gonna…
Babe, what’s wrong?
Mom’s just made this whole thing such a nightmare.
Dixon’s the sweetest man on planet Earth, but Mom doesn’t approve.
Oh, my God. I cannot believe that woman.
That makes my blood boil.
He is a fantastic guy.
[camera clicks]
I don’t know, I think it’s his occupation.
[Margot] Well…
[camera clicking rapidly]
Exotic dancing is a very solid job.
It’s not just that. She’s just like… You know how she is, Margot.
She’s obsessed with me doing it at the club like Gwynny and Colton.
And, “Neve, do it exactly how Gwynny did.”
Why don’t you just tell her to back the “F” off?
Margot, I can’t. I’m not like you, okay?
I’m the family peacemaker.
Okay.
Look… [inhales]
I’m gonna plan your wedding.
I can’t ask you to do that.
You’re not asking me. I’m telling you.
You’re my baby sister.
What did we say at Nana’s?
Always in your corner forever.
Do you even know how to plan a wedding?
I planned 17 seasons of Altar Wars,
so I’ve got to have some sort of clue.
[laughs]
First things first, we need a venue.
You know where I want to have it.
Palmetto?
What if Mom hates it?
Who cares if she fucking hates it, that woman?
Nana would’ve loved it.
[exhales] Okay.
And maybe Mom doesn’t have to come.
I’m just saying.
Try it on, like a little tiny coat.
What if our family doesn’t come to your wedding?
Margot, our family has to come.
[phone ringing]
The Palmetto House. Leslie speaking.
Oh, yes, hello. I would like to book a wedding
for this summer for Neve Buckley.
Uh, this is her sister, Margot Buckley.
Our grandmother used to live on the island.
Of course.
Rosemary Buckley.
Oh, we loved her very much.
Aw, thank you for saying that. Well, now,
as you know, given the size of the island, we can only host one wedding per weekend.
Um…
how about June 1st?
[Leslie] June 1st.
That is available.
Oh, let me write it down right now.
[squeals quietly]
The wedding of Neve Buckley.
Excellent.
Uh, let me get your credit card information.
[♪ A Little Night Music: “Overture and Night Waltz”]
[opera singers vocalizing]
♪ ♪
♪ Remember ♪
♪ Remember ♪
♪ Remember ♪
♪ Remember ♪
[opera singers continue vocalizing to rousing music]
[lighthearted music playing]
Honey, do we know her?
Oliver’s got a huge family.
She’s probably one of his cousins.
Ah.
Would you like a hand? There we go.
Oh, my goodness, thank you.
Yeah, a little precarious there.
Listen…
I was gonna ask you.
Yeah, I was gonna ask you the same.
Oliver, hey.
Mwah.
I can’t believe we’re getting married.
I really can’t believe it.
Hey, man.
Hey.
Good to see ya.
How’s it going? How’s it going? You, too. Come on.
Margot Buckley. Yeah.
[Captain Barry] Got it.
Oh, good, you get to wear shorts. That’s great.
And here I am in three layers.
[bridesmaids squealing happily]
I’m your fucking wedding planner, and you’re fucking getting married, bitch.
I’m fucking getting married, bitch!
Surprise, bitch!
[bridesmaids squeal]
Whoa.
♪ My bitch is getting married ♪
This bitch is getting married.
♪ I said, my bitch is getting married ♪
♪ My lovely daughter’s getting married ♪
[bridesmaids] Bitch is hitched!
No.
[all] This bitch is hitched!
No!
Guys.
She’s not a bitch.
[Oliver] Sorry.
This is so real.
[shouting happily]
Whoa.
[bridesmaids] Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
Oh, guys, hi.
You have no idea how excited I am to see you.
Okay, how’s it going?
Well, you know, your family’s a little intense
when they’re all together, you know.
Mm-hmm.
Like, it sounds like they hate each other, but they just keep smiling
while they’re saying all this real mean stuff.
Yeah, that checks out. Mm.
Yeah, that’s 100% how we do it in our family.
Yeah.
So I’m gonna fill you in a little bit.
Mama’s judging the shit out of everything.
[Margot] Mm-hmm.
[Neve] Gwynny’s complaining about her problems.
She thinks they’re problems but actually aren’t problems.
And Colton’s already called Rebecca “the wife” at least three times.
Wait, what is Pastor Jerry doing here? Pastor Luther is marrying y’all.
He’s coming on Saturday.
It’s fine.
I think Mom invited Pastor Jerry. It’s no big deal.
He hit on you during our premarital counseling session.
Ugh.
He’s a handsy Colonel Sanders,
and I’m also pregnant, by the way.
What?
Oh, my God, congratulations!
[hushed] Thank you. I don’t want anyone to know.
I cannot be having a premarital baby in my stomach…
Oh.
If you know what I mean.
Yes, yes, yes.
But you’re gonna be the cutest mom ever.
[Neve laughs]
And I’m having a really hard time keeping quiet
because I’m very, very excited for both of y’all.
Yeah, I-I think we should just tell ’em. You know, I think they’d be happy.
[both laughing]
No. No.
No. No, sweetie.
Hey.
Hey.
[Margot] Hi, Mama.
Well, aren’t we looking Hollywood?
Oh, I’m… wearing a blazer and some shorts.
Yeah. [chuckles]
But, yeah, th-thank you.
And what an interesting choice to get married here on Palmetto Island.
Yeah. Neve and I loved our summers here with Nana.
You two girls and my mother,
just thick as thieves.
That’s right.
Probably ’cause she gave you all that candy.
Or the unconditional love and support we needed.
But you know what? It’s not important. How are you, Gwynny?
I’m okay. I mean, you know I’ve been through a lot lately.
I-I got a lot going on at the house.
You know, I wanted a new birdbath, and they brought this birdbath,
and then they put a big border around it, looks like a grave.
[Neve gasps] Wow.
Looks like somebody’s buried out there.
And I’ve had to get off of sugar… for this wedding.
I’ve been on a cleanse for three days.
I’m weak as water.
I can’t even make a fist.
It’ll be fine. I’ll be okay. I’ll push through for you.
[Neve] Thank you, Gwynny.
Well, you remember Pastor Jerry.
[Neve chuckles]
The wife was so happy to see you, Pastor Jerry.
Well, I’m blessed to see all of you.
And you, too, Margot.
Aw.
Thank you, I feel very blessed without the touching.
Please don’t touch me. Thanks.
Wait, is that your kid in the tree?
Yeah. Yeah, Dawson Scott. There he is.
Hi, Aunt Margot.
[Colton] Do kids not climb trees in California?
Probably… probably too busy smoking ’em.
[laughter]
[inhaling]
Are you smoking?
No.
[quietly] Right.
[excited chattering nearby]
[chanting] Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!
Okay, well, I’m gonna go check us in.
I’m gonna go get us checked in.
Okay.
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[opera singers vocalizing to rousing music]
Oh. After you.
[music stops]
No, please. You go first.
Hi there. I’m checking into the bridal suite.
My name is Margot Buckley.
My sister is Neve Buckley, and she’s getting married this weekend.
Oh, oh, h-hold on, hold on. I-I think there might be a little mistake.
Uh, ’cause my daughter is getting married.
Jenni Caldwell.
Uh, i-it’s booked. We-we booked the weekend.
Well, now, I only have Neve Buckley written down here.
No, that’s not possible. That’s literally impossible.
I’m looking at the book.
Okay, well, look at the book again.
[Margot] Yeah.
I spoke to your mother Scarlett. She booked it.
In fact, bring her out.
Scarlett! Get out here!
Scarlett, it’s Jim!
Oh, she passed last summer.
[Margot] Oh.
That’s terrible. I’m sorry.
Sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Uh, she meant so much to this place…
That being said. [chuckles]
I, uh, I spoke with her last summer.
Oh, when?
Uh, June 15th.
That is the day that she died.
Here, give me the book.
What are you doing?
What are… Are you letting him touch the book?
He can’t do that to the book.
What is…
[suspenseful music playing]
[gasps]
[Jim] Look right there.
“Jenni Caldwell, wed…”
It’s the last thing your dead mother wrote.
What is this David Copperfield shit?
Oh, no.
We’ve double-booked your weddings.
What?
What?
Uh, I’m sure we can figure this out.
There’s no way to figure it out.
We’re on a tiny island. There’s nowhere else to stay.
And there’s nowhere to get married except the dock.
There’s nowhere else to have the reception or the rehearsal dinner but the farmhouse.
And you only have one bridal suite.
I understand that this is very stressful.
Uh, I’ve got a lot of stuff going on, too.
I don’t give a shit.
Yeah, I don’t have the bandwidth
for anything but this “double-booked” situation.
What, you double-booked?
What do you mean you double-booked?
We booked your wedding and his daughter’s wedding on the same weekend.
Oh, Jesus.
Well, of course this would happen here.
It’s Nana’s ghost haunting us. [laughing]
Well, I’ve got the situation under control.
Doesn’t seem like it.
Okay, well, why don’t you guys go get one of the specialty welcome cocktails,
and I’ll just iron out this little snafu.
Margot’s so good at this stuff, so I’m sure she’ll have it all fixed up.
Okay. Hold our… hold our luggage.
[mouthing]
Wait a second. Whose credit card’s on file?
Wait, wh-what does that have to do with anything?
We only have yours, ma’am.
Yes, of course.
O-Okay.
But Scarlett said she didn’t need to see my credit card
’cause I’m a friend of the family.
And then my daughter’s wedding planner, who is a drunk child,
took over the planning.
Shh. Whose credit card do you have on file?
Let me finish explaining.
Yours.
So the place is legally…
Yours.
So, whose credit card’s on file?
You know damn well whose credit card he has on file.
Stop saying “credit card.”
Credit card, credit card, credit card.
Let’s just all calm down.
Oh, I’m clam.
Oh, I’m super calm.
[scoffs] You don’t seem calm.
I’m dead calm.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
But let’s get something straight:
My sweet little pumpkin’s gonna have her special day,
and no one’s getting in the way of that.
Not you, not some dead lady who can’t keep her shit together.
No one. And come Saturday,
if I look out on that dock and that bride’s not my baby girl,
that bride’s going in the fucking lake!
Okay?
Splish-splash, bitch taking a bath.
Okay, you listen to me.
My sister is a literal angel who walks on this Earth.
Oh.
And I’m gonna watch that dock
night and day and make sure she gets married there.
And if you try to fuck with me…
Mm-hmm.
I’m gonna bust your face.
Mm.
Because I’ve been doing Pilates for over 20 years now,
and my core is a solid-ass rock.
Oh, really?
Doesn’t look like a rock.
Try me. You’re gonna break your fucking hand,
and I’m gonna kick your ass, and it’s gonna be embarrassing.
[Jim scoffs]
‘Cause you’re big and I’m little.
Okay, you’re gonna love it in the lake.
You’re gonna become a local legend like the Loch Ness Monster.
[stomping foot]
[stomps]
[Jim sighs]
When you end up in the lake, it’s gonna wash off your terrible dye job.
[scoffs] I don’t dye my hair.
Nice try.
I don’t.
I know.
Listen to me. I have legally, officially booked this place,
so you and your daughter and all of her friends can go take a walk.
Now, key me.
Welcome to the Palmetto House.
Thank you. You’ve been a delight.
You said you handled it!
Why didn’t you just give them your credit card?!
Well, you said it was reserved! I didn’t know I had to double-check!
So, you never even called this place?
I have social anxiety, so I just sent emails.
You get anxiety from dialing a phone?
I can do anything that doesn’t require a phone call!
Where’s all the money we Venmo’d you for this place?
I have it with me on my phone!
I’m sorry! What else do you want?!
I don’t know, aren’t you the wedding planner?
[bridesmaids gasping]
Yeah, and she just apologized.
[Jim] I’m sorry, I’m just…
That sister of the bride, she got me… really riled up.
That lady, I mean, she got under my skin.
Don’t call her “lady.”
Why not? She is a lady.
Yeah, but men only use the term “lady” when they’re mad at a woman.
It’s super sexist.
Mm-hmm.
You’re a sexist.
What? No.
L-Lady’s an honorific.
Not when you’re like, “that lady” with a sexist tone.
[Jim] Okay, well, that woman
is a real skanky bitch.
[exclaiming]
Oh, my God!
Oh, yeah!
Dad, cut it with the “lady” shit!
Okay? Why can’t you just drop it?
Sounds like you don’t want me around. Is that right?
No, not really.
Guess what, I’m out of here.
‘Kay, bye.
See ya, bye.
See ya, bye!
Bye!
Can you believe that?
He, like, is totally inappropriate, and then he just, like,
comes back and he apologizes and expects me to just, like, dissolve…
I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.
I love you so much.
[crying] I’m sorry.
I love you, too.
It’s just that I want your wedding to be perfect,
and it’s freaking me out.
I’m freaking out, too,
and you freaking out doesn’t help me not freak out,
and do you get that?
I hear your truth.
And I hear your truth.
This has been an emotional roller coaster.
[♪ Leon Bridges: “Coming Home”]
♪ Baby, baby, baby…
I feel terrible.
Don’t feel terrible.
[Neve] I feel guilty.
[Margot] Don’t feel guilty.
Are we bad people for kicking them out?
We are not kicking them out.
Well, we kind of are.
They didn’t make a proper reservation.
I mean, we are kind of kicking them out, though.
I have done three separate site visits.
And meanwhile, their wedding planner hasn’t done one.
She hasn’t been here once.
Okay, that’s true.
Listen, you’re gonna have the greatest weekend of your lives.
I want you to focus on that.
I’m gonna get another drink.
Am I a shitty person?
No, you’re not a shitty person.
We’re just doing a shitty thing.
Oh, no, you can, uh, just put it on my tab.
You don’t have to do that.
Accept it as an apology…
for calling you the Loch Ness Monster.
[sighs] Well, thank you.
And-and you know what?
I want to apologize for suggesting that you dye your hair.
Because clearly you don’t.
So, where are you guys gonna go?
There’s a Wet ‘N Wild Water Park, uh, and a…
a Super 8 nearby, about 200 miles from here,
that’ll accommodate most of us.
Uh-huh.
So…
We’re hoping that will all work out.
Hmm.
Uh, I also baked my daughter’s wedding cake.
You baked it?
I don’t know how I’m gonna get it out there, but we’ll make do.
That’ll be part of the fun, part of the adventure.
Hmm.
So, why the Palmetto?
My grandmother used to have a house on the island,
and my sister and I would come every summer to visit her.
So we have all these great memories here. How about you?
My wife and I got married here.
Oh. Well, that’s…
Which one is she? I’ll make sure and avoid her,
’cause I’m sure she’s lovely, and then I’m gonna feel guilty.
Oh, sh-she’s not here.
Where is she?
[singsongy] She’s dead.
That’s a weird way to say that.
She’s dead.
[sighs] He married his dead wife here.
[gasps] Oh.
And he’s so into his daughter that he baked her fucking wedding cake.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
[Dixon sighs]
I think you’re right. I think we’re gonna have to let them stay.
Okay.
[Margot] Excuse me.
Yes?
If you’re willing to be reasonable and accommodating,
we’re willing to split the venue.
Oh, my God, that’s incredible.
Uh, I’m so sorry. I don’t know if that would be possible.
My inn is not large enough to accommodate everyone here.
Whatever we say in front of you, Leslie, will be our legal negotiated agreement.
Negotiation on, Leslie. You’re our legal mediator.
I don’t even know what that is.
Start writing. Yeah.
Figure it out.
Rehearsal dinner. You take outside, and we’ll take the farmhouse.
Ceremony? We need the dock.
Oh, we’re gonna need the dock.
Well, okay, we’re willing to split the dock.
It-it’s too tiny and narrow. I don’t think we can split it.
He’s correct about that.
Maybe we could split it by time.
Yes, we’ll take the first half of sunset.
And we’ll take the second half.
Is timing the sunset even a thing?
I think that’s gonna work out.
Okay, what about the reception?
Flip it. You take the farmhouse.
And you go outside.
Yeah, perfect.
Uh, uh, Caldwell reception…
Okay, that’s gonna give me time to get a tent.
Oh, the thing is, we don’t allow tents on the lawn.
Yeah, she’s gonna need a tent.
I’m gonna need a tent.
Actually, I don’t think that will be possible…
Just get the woman a fucking tent!
[Margot] Bend the rules, Leslie.
Guess we’re getting a tent.
This is a fire hazard.
Do we have a deal?
I think we do.
I think we do.
Great.
Great.
Jenni, looks like you’re getting married here after all.
We are?
[Jim] Yes.
[Jenni] Oh, my God!
[bridesmaids screaming happily]
Jim Caldwell. Hi. How are you?
Hi.
I’m Margot.
Jenni.
[quiet chatter nearby]
[laughter]
Yeah, you loved it.
I loved it.
[chatter continues indistinctly]
Well, how do, Margot?
Mama.
Good night, Grandma.
Good night, Aunt Margot.
Oh, good night, buddy.
[clears throat]
You don’t know his name.
Yes, I do.
What is it?
Theodore.
It’s Tucker Lee.
Tucker Lee. I knew that.
They’re family, Margot.
You know, you don’t even put me in the family Christmas card.
I’m fine with it. It’s just, you’re being a little hypocritical.
That’s because you don’t visit at Thanksgiving, which is when
we take the family Christmas photo.
I can’t-my work. I actually have a job.
It’s fine. Let’s not do this right now, okay?
Let’s focus on Neve.
[whispering] What do you think of this Dixon?
[whispering] Well, I think he’s a great person.
And I think he’s gonna be a wonderful husband and a great father.
When they decide to have kids one day.
Well, I have concerns.
Mom, Nevey is very happy. That should be all that concerns you.
Well, you only live for yourself-You know, you’re childless–
And I don’t think you understand how important
a partner with a steady paycheck is.
You just crammed so many insults into so few words.
That was like an insult haiku.
Mom, not everybody wants to live in the Atlanta suburbs
and go to the club every day.
Well, I can’t right now.
Are you joining us?
[indistinct chatter]
[Neve laughing]
I think I’m fine.
Y’all have a good night.
[pensive music playing]
So, our daughter’s getting married this weekend.
I wish you were here.
I think you’d be proud.
I hope you’d be proud.
[stammers]
Cheers.
Cheers.
[♪ Carly Rae Jepsen: “Call Me Maybe”]
♪ Hey, I just met you…
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
I didn’t… I didn’t realize it was… a shared bathroom situation.
Oh, yeah, right, ’cause of the double-booking.
Right.
I’m just finishing up her hair.
Happy to work on yours if you’d like.
Give you a fun little wave
or a cute little flip.
Ooh.
No, I-I’m, I’m good.
[Jim] Okay, well, if you change your mind,
we accept walk-ins, but we’re filling up fast.
Ah.
[laughs] Okay.
I love your bangs, by the way.
Oh, thanks.
Super cute.
Thank you.
[Jim] You remember my old work colleague Dave?
Mm.
So, Dave lost a hundred pounds.
[Jenni] No.
Yes. And I asked him, “Is it Ozempic?”
[mouthing] What the fuck.
Oh, and, Davey, I just want to say thank you again.
I realize planning my sister’s wedding is not really part of the scope of your work.
When your boss asks you to do something, you do it.
Yeah.
Even when it’s deeply personal…
That’s right.
And not really part of your job.
[Davey chuckles]
What, what?
[Neve moans]
[Margot] What are you doing here?
[breathes deeply]
You got to get out, honey.
Colton is driving me crazy.
He’s getting under my skin, and he’s razzing me.
He’s asking me if, at work, Dixon shows wiener.
Well, who cares if he does? It’s just a job.
He doesn’t.
Which he doesn’t. Of course.
And then Gwynny piled on, Mama walks in, then they both start making fun of me.
He’s a Chippendale. Get over it.
It’s not just his job.
It’s our family’s code for he’s trash.
The fact is he’s not just a dancer.
He was a goddamn field medic for the National Guard.
No one asks me about that.
And the worst thing is he wanted our first dance to be to Rascal Flatts,
and I said no.
Ooh, yeah, Rascal Flatts?
Ew.
No one in our family can have a kind or honest conversation
because they hate their own lives so they have to shit on yours.
And you’re starting a new family, so you can leave this old toxic one behind.
Oh, I don’t want to leave them behind.
Yes, you do. And you’ll see that you do.
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[opera singers vocalizing to rousing music]
[guests] Cheers.
[shouting happily]
♪ ♪
[music ends]
[guests cheering and whooping]
As many of you know, music was my first love
until I met the love of my life, Jenni.
[guests “aahing”]
I was gonna do a speech,
but then I thought of a better way of expressing myself
would be through the art of DJing.
[cheering]
What? Baby.
♪ You say you wanna love me forever ♪
Come on, let’s go.
Oh, shit.
[♪ Magnus Ferrell featuring Deacon: “Slow Down”]
♪ But, baby, I don’t like all the pressure ♪
♪ What I gotta do to make you know now ♪
Oh, my God.
♪ You need to slow down, you need to slow down…
All he did was push a button.
But he’s so talented.
[guests cheering loudly]
♪ You need to, you need to…
[cheering and loud music playing outside]
The other wedding sounds like they’re having fun.
[all] Everybody, clap your hands!
[clapping rhythmically]
Everyone, make some noise!
[cheering loudly]
[loud cheering continues]
[sighs]
Well, how’s everything out in L.A.?
L.A.? Uh, it’s great. I continue to love it.
Have you been affected by the fires?
No.
Have you been affected by the floods?
No. No.
No?
Have you been affected by taxes?
What?
Have you been affected by the homeless?
I don’t know, Mom. How’s Atlanta?
Are you affected by the racism?
Oh.
[Gwynny] Oh.
The sins of the country are blamed on the South.
I know. I was just having a little light fun.
You know, family fun.
[Colton groaning]
[Margot] Just joking.
Well, how’s work?
My work? Is, uh, is going great.
I actually just set up this show that I…
I never understand anything that you do or say.
[Flora laughing]
I’m literally speaking English, so…
Oh, Colton’s business is exploding.
That’s great. And so your-your business…
We represent businesses in the market of business.
So, anyone that has a business and they want to take that business
sort of to the next level in the field of business…
Uh-huh.
That’s our business.
Cool.
[Colton] Mm.
And did you hear that Gwynny’s house is being featured in Garden & Gun?
So, they will come and they will, uh, take pictures…
Uh, yes, they’re gonna take pictures of me…
Uh-huh.
My garden…
Okay.
And all our guns.
[Margot] Mm-hmm.
So proud.
I am gonna, um, check on the whole wedding
and see how things are going, and I will be right back.
[cheering outside]
[sighs] Mom is pushing all of my buttons.
I am so worried that Dixon and his groomsmen
are gonna do some sort of choreographed number ’cause they’re doing
that gyrating thing-I really don’t think that they can help it.
[grunting rhythmically]
[sighs heavily]
What? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
My paranoid mama thinks I’m pregnant because I’m not drinking.
Also, I need a drink.
Just give it to me. Give it to me.
[gasps]
[laughs] St…
You!
[Neve gasps]
Stop filling her drink.
You said to keep them filled at all times.
She’s pregnant.
Shh!
Oh.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, no, no, I’ll take it. I’ll take it.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Give it to me, please.
Hey!
I’m gonna take it.
[Jim] Hi. How are you guys?
Enjoying yourself?
[thunder rumbling]
Okay, good.
[guests exclaiming]
Oh, okay, uh… All right, everyone inside!
Grab all the outdoor games you can!
[♪ Tito Beltran: “La donna è mobile” from Rigoletto]
[song continues in Italian]
[Jim] Yeah, move it in! Let’s go!
Everyone in! Everyone!
[music stops]
Hurry, people. Let’s go. Let’s get in. Come on.
[Jim] Whoa. Someone grab these balloons.
No, no, no.
Thank you, by the bar. Great.
[Margot] No, wait.
You do not get to bring all of your lawn games…
It’s really raining.
I don’t care.
Thank you for understanding, everyone!
Oh, my…
I don’t know what it is about him,
but if I wasn’t married, I’d climb him like a redwood.
What?
Yeah.
[♪ KC and the Sunshine Band: “Get Down Tonight”]
[Gwynny] Ooh.
♪ Baby, baby, let’s get together…
All right.
Now we’re talking.
♪ Me and you ♪
Oh, my God.
♪ And do the things, ah ♪
♪ Do the things ♪
What the hell?
♪ That we ♪
♪ Like to do ♪
[chuckles] Oh, yes.
♪ Oh, do a little dance ♪
♪ Make a little love ♪
♪ Get down tonight ♪
♪ Get down tonight ♪
[chair scrapes on floor]
♪ Do a little dance ♪
[woman squealing]
♪ Make a little love, get down tonight ♪
♪ Get down tonight…
Hey, I’m gonna grind on you.
Thank you.
♪ Get down tonight, baby ♪
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
♪ Get down, get down, get down ♪
[applause]
♪ Get down, get down tonight, baby ♪
[music fades] ♪ Get down, get down, get down ♪
Hey, girl.
Hi. Hey, girl. Hi.
Hey.
Sorry to crash.
Oh, my gosh, anytime.
Excuse me, everyone. Hello. Uh, my name is Jim.
Hi.
[cheering, shouts of “Hi, Jim”]
I am the, uh, father of one of the brides here.
Jenni back there. That’s my daughter.
[applause and cheering]
[Jenni laughing]
And, uh…
I just want to start by saying that, you know,
this is obviously not what any of us signed up for this weekend.
Uh, and that a lot of you are not part of our wedding,
but we do share some common ground,
and we’re all here to celebrate love.
So why can’t we just celebrate together? Right?
[guests “aahing”]
[cheering]
I know Bailey and Knox know what I’m talking about, right?
As do Eva Grace, and, uh,
Scotty Joe, Shelby Lynn…
Yup.
Yep.
And Tucker Lee. Yeah.
Yeah, dog.
How the fuck does he know all their names?
How do you not?
That’s my D-O-double-G.
You are my dog.
We are two dogs sniffing each other’s butts.
Yes, we are.
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
Woof, woof.
[barking]
You’ll never out woof me, dog.
[both barking]
[both growling]
[chuckles] It’s fun.
And of course, the lovely Miss Flora.
Wha…
You look beautiful tonight.
I love a gentleman.
I actually just wanted to, uh, toast the love of my life,
my darling daughter.
Aw.
[guests murmuring]
And, uh, well, if-if you’ll indulge me, it goes a little something like this.
[♪ “Islands in the Stream”]
♪ Baby, when I met you, there was peace unknown ♪
♪ I set out to get you with a fine-tooth comb ♪
♪ I was soft inside ♪
♪ There was something going on ♪
♪ You do something to me ♪
♪ That I can’t explain ♪
[guests cheering]
♪ Hold me closer and I feel no pain ♪
♪ Every beat of my heart ♪
♪ We’ve got something going on ♪
♪ Tender love is blind ♪
♪ It requires a dedication…
This is fucked up, right?
Yeah.
♪ Needs no conversation ♪
♪ We ride it together, ah ha ♪
♪ Making love with each other, ah ha…
That’s, like, his daughter, right?
Yes, it is.
Huh.
Yes, it is.
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between ♪
♪ How can we be wrong? ♪
I’m a TV producer. Why am I here?
♪ Sail away with me to another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
♪ ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
[song ends]
[cheering]
Okay, it’s done.
[Jim] Thank you.
[applause and cheering]
[Heather whooping]
[cheering continues]
Thank you.
That was my surprise to you, Oliver.
Oh.
Well, how sweet was that?
The other wedding’s already having toasts and performances.
If you want toasts, I have toasts.
I love you, and I have some things to say.
No, no, no.
No, this is good.
Please don’t.
Just wait.
[Neve] It’s not a good idea.
Don’t. I wouldn’t.
You’re gonna like it.
I just wouldn’t do it. Okay.
This should be good.
[Jim speaking indistinctly]
I don’t know how many hours that Jenni…
[slurring] Excuse me. I would like to…
What?
Just a minute. I’m gonna do…
I’m gonna give a toast, too. Okay.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
Hey, everybody.
Okay, eyes up here for the official rehearsal dinner.
Oh, shit, she’s fucked up.
Can I get a whoop-whoop?
[guests] Whoop-whoop.
Whoop-whoop.
Thank you.
Uh, I just want to have a little official toast for my sister…
Stop playing cornhole!
Sorry.
It’s okay.
Neve, you are literally the best person I know.
[guests “aahing”]
And one time I met Malala at a Starbucks, and…
she wasn’t that great.
[gasping, nervous chuckling]
When I was your age, I was a hot mess.
And I just could not get my shit together.
But I did sleep with one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
[guests exclaiming]
Not the short one.
Flea!
No.
[grunts]
You know what? Back to Neve.
You are everything to…
[gurgling]
[shocked murmuring]
Oh.
No.
I’m okay.
[snaps fingers]
Oh.
[Margot] The other thing I wanted to say is you’re the best,
and you’re pretty, like in a natural way.
[whispering] Maybe you’ve had too much to drink.
No, no, no, I’m still talking.
Let’s hear it for Margot, everyone!
[cheering]
Yay. Get her off.
No, I’m not letting go of the mic.
You have a strong grip.
Stop it. Stop it!
[microphone feedback]
[guests gasping]
[Margot] I’m so sorry. Oh, my God.
[Jenni] I’m fine.
No, it’s fine.
Where did I get you? Where did I get you?
[Jenni] My eyeball, but it’s okay, I think.
[Jim] Okay, let’s get… let’s get some ice on it.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, I’m so sorry.
Are there some cold White Claws available to create a compress?
[Neve] I’m so glad y’all are here.
And I think they’re making, like, little cute little shirts…
Nevey? Excuse me. I’m the wedding sister.
Thanks.
I’m sorry.
This is not at all what I wanted to happen.
It’s okay.
Like, not at all.
It’s fine, it’s fine.
I’m sorry.
Things went a little sideways, but you know…
I bear some responsibility, like a little bit of the responsibility,
but the truth is, if you drill down on it…
Mm-hmm.
It’s all his fault.
It was not entirely his fault.
You did get very drunk and very belligerent.
Me?
Yes.
[laughing] You did deck the bride.
On accident.
Yeah, okay,
I guess a face accident.
[laughing]
Ooh.
Your face is an accident.
[Neve] Listen, I get it.
It’s very stressful with Mom and Gwynny…
What?
And Colton, and you drank too much.
No, no, no.
I’m drunk because I drank your drinks because you’re, you know.
[imitates baby crying]
Stop. Shh!
Stop.
I’m just saying, I’m trying to protect you.
You could’ve put them aside, okay?
Well, hindsight is twenty-twenty.
Okay, fine.
Oh, I planned a whole spa thing for us tonight,
so we can have massages…
No, I think that you should go to bed.
Why?
Because tomorrow is my wedding, and I really don’t want you to be shit-faced.
Oh, okay, well…
Okay?
Oh, my God! Suze, I’m c-coming.
Okay.
[gentle melody playing]
[sighing]
[sighing]
[groaning]
[Jenni crying]
Are you okay?
[sniffles]
Oh, no, is it your face?
No, no, my face is fine.
Okay, phew.
[sniffles, crying]
D-Do you want to talk about it?
I’m so nervous about tomorrow.
Okay, uh… that seems normal.
Everyone just tells us that we’re too young and we should wait,
but my parents didn’t wait and they were happy,
and if they would’ve waited, then I wouldn’t even be here
because my mom would’ve gotten sick and died before they even had me.
What does your dad say?
Oh, I cannot talk to Dad about this. Are you kidding?
He’s so worried about me all the time.
Like, his whole life is me.
Yeah, that’s a lot of pressure to put on you.
That his happiness is riding on yours?
I never thought about it that way.
What do you think I should do? Just tell me.
I’ll do whatever you say.
Why would you want to know what I think?
I heard your speech.
You were so honest and badass,
and you’ve, like, lived a full life, you know?
Like, maybe I shouldn’t get married.
Maybe I should just move to L.A. and fuck a Red Hot Chili Pepper.
No, no, no. Don’t do that. Don’t… No.
What’s Flea?
You know what? I think that maybe you’re having wedding night jitters.
[sighs]
[chuckles]
[sniffles] Yeah, you know, I think you’re right.
Wow, thank you, Margot.
Really, I feel so much better.
You got it, bathroom buddy.
[sighs heavily]
Okay, I’m just gonna get an Advil,
and I will get out of your hair.
[mutters]
[gasps]
What?
Nothing.
[Jenni laughs, sniffles]
You’re awesome. Thank you.
[Jim] I can’t believe what that lady…
Ow.
That female person-did to my baby.
She didn’t mean to.
You know, she’s actually nice, by the way.
Oh, yeah, she was really nice when she physically assaulted you.
Okay.
[sighs] Okay.
Let’s get to work.
I’ll go lightly.
[low chatter]
[upbeat music playing quietly]
So, do you just do reality TV?
Oh, no, I do everything.
I actually do lots of Marvel stuff.
Oh.
She can do creature makeup. She can make you look like an alien.
[Gwynny] Oh, my Lord.
[women exclaiming]
[Neve] Here’s my look.
What do y’all think?
[Margot gasps]
It looks a little poofy.
It’s just, like, popping out a bit.
You know what, sweetie? Let me help you for a second.
Thank you. We’ll be right back.
What are they even talking about?
[hushed] You’re showing.
What?!
Yes.
No.
Oh, my God. Is it really that noticeable?
Try and suck it in.
[inhales]
Jane, can we get your help really quick?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Thank you. We’ll be right back.
I don’t know how they gonna fix that.
Nobody uses the proper underpanties anymore.
Um, can we put a peplum on that, or…?
[Jane] Of course.
Oh, perfect.
This happened overnight.
Okay, here she is.
[women “aahing”]
[Neve chuckles]
It still looks a little poofy.
[Neve scoffs]
[Flora laughing quietly]
By the way, did y’all talk to the other bride’s father?
Just a lovely man.
Oh, did y’all see that duet he did with her?
So cute.
It was sweet.
Did you think that was cute? I thought it was incestuous.
[shocked murmuring]
What?
You’re gross.
You know you were all thinking it.
[Margot] “Islands in the Stream,” that is a sexual song.
And he is Kenny Rogers,
and he made his daughter into Dolly Parton.
[Neve] Stop.
[Flora] You are so unfair.
He just loves his daughter so much, and I think that is very, very sweet.
He even does her hair.
[Gwynny] But does he do it well?
No, she looks like a road whore.
[women laughing]
[whispering] Road whore?
He treats her like a child, and for some reason she puts up with it.
It’s like they’re trying too hard or something.
It’s all like they’re putting on a show.
[Flora] How do you know? You don’t know them.
Mom, I produce reality television shows for a living.
Trust me, I know what’s real and I know what’s fake,
and that is fake.
[Neve mouthing]
[dramatic opera music playing]
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[opera singers vocalizing to rousing music]
[music stops]
[♪ Penny & the Quarters: “You and Me”]
♪ You and me ♪
Good to see you.
♪ You and me ♪
♪ Nobody, baby, but you and me ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ You and me ♪
♪ My, my, my, my ♪
♪ My, my, my, my ♪
♪ Nobody, baby, but you and me ♪
♪ If the stars don’t shine ♪
♪ If the moon won’t rise ♪
♪ If I never see the setting sun again ♪
♪ You won’t hear me cry as I testify ♪
♪ Please believe me, boy, you know I would lie ♪
♪ As long as there is ♪
♪ You and me ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Nobody, baby ♪
[song fades]
Dad.
Oh.
Yes. Sorry.
To get us started, uh, we’re gonna have a, a poem
read by Jenni’s best friend
and maid of honor Heather Diaz.
[Heather laughing]
[cheering and laughter]
[whooping]
[Heather laughing]
[Heather clears throat]
“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have…”
Sup, fam? Pastor Luther.
Oh. Hi, I’m Margot.
Thank you so much for being here.
Uh, I’m wedding the planning.
I, or, um…
[laughing nervously]
Pastor Luther, hear we’re tag-teaming on this.
No, Pastor Jerry, I think Pastor Luther is going to lead the way.
Yeah, I’m gonna walk the property and just get a sense of the vibe.
But I can tell you this, it’s… it’s feeling good.
Real good.
It is?
Thank you.
I, too, am gonna walk the property and get a sense of the vibe.
[Gwynny] Pastor Luther!
[Heather] “And you know what you know.
And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.”
[laughs] I love you.
I love you.
[cheering]
Heather, Heather, Heather, keep going.
Oh, that’s all I was gonna read.
No, no, read a little bit more.
Are you sure?
Yeah. It’s a lovely book.
Okay. Oh.
[Jenni] Yeah.
Take your time, take your time.
Okay.
It’s okay. Everything is set. We are ready to go.
It’s just gonna be a few minutes now.
Stand by.
[man over radio] Copy that.
Hey, look at Dawson Scott’s face.
Your makeup person did that, Margot.
What?
[Heather] “…is just waiting.”
Hi, Dad.
“Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for the wind to fly a kite.”
Keep going.
Okay.
How long is this poem?
I have no idea.
I had to memorize it in the sixth grade.
It’s actually pretty long.
[Heather and Jenni laughing]
[Heather] “With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down a not-so-good street.”
[Jenni] That’s right.
[laughing] Yeah, yeah.
Now.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Don’t stop there.
Hey, doesn’t everyone want to hear, you know, how it, how it ends up?
It just… it gets kind of random.
Do it, Heather. Do it.
Stop making it weird.
[Heather] Okay.
It’s a classic story. Just do it.
[Heather] “Out there…”
Oh, my God.
[Neve] What?
I know what he’s doing.
He’s intentionally running out the sunset clock.
[gasps]
No, come on.
That doesn’t sound like something someone would really do.
[Heather] “…because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be best of the best.
Wherever you go, you’ll be top of the rest.”
[Heather laughs]
[cheering]
[bridesmaid] That was really good.
Thank you, Heather. That was great.
How are we doing here?
You have to help us. He is using up all of our sunset.
I have no vested power to do anything here.
Leslie, it’s half sunset!
Half of the sunset is gone!
Half of the sunset is gone!
Do something!
I’m gonna get married in the dark!
Enjoy your special day.
The Places You Will Go. It’s all about the journey.
No one spells that out better than Dr. Seuss.
Whose real name is? Does anyone know?
Theodor Geisel!
Shut up.
Theodor Geisel. Yes.
They’re-they’re getting to the end part.
Okay, okay. Stand by, stand by.
I vow to love you with the unconditional grace of Jesus.
I vow to support your dreams as Jesus would.
Whoa.
We’ll create a home Jesus would be proud of.
Relax.
[Jenni] I love you so much, Oliver.
You’re the Jim to my Pam.
[guests “aahing”]
I can’t help but wish my mom was here today.
You would’ve loved her, and she would’ve loved you.
Right, Dad?
Aw.
Dad.
What?
I’m talking about Mom.
Oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah.
[exhales] Yeah.
You may now kiss the bride.
[cheering and whooping]
Get ready to go down.
All yours, sweetheart.
Sorry if we’re a little late.
Did he just wink at me?
Okay, so I guess we should probably
just do our ceremony somewhere else, right?
It’s so narrow and it’s getting dark, and we have,
you know, grandparents and other elderly.
Yeah, he’s not wrong.
Well, of course y’all weren’t gonna be able to have your wedding on the dock.
[Flora laughing]
It makes me wonder why we’re even here.
[laughing]
Mama,
it would be the silliest thing in the whole wide world
if we came all the way here and we didn’t get married on the dock,
so that’s what we’re doing.
Okay.
Let’s go to the dock.
Everybody, march!
[Davey] Have, uh, everyone proceed to the dock, please.
Can I make one final objection…
Okay. Never mind.
Quickly, grab that. Grab that. Yes.
Second wedding, go! Hurry!
[jaunty opera music playing]
[music stops]
[playing “Right Here Waiting”]
I told you it would all work out.
[Neve laughing]
Go, get married.
Okay.
Okay.
Bye.
Yeah, you look amazing. Gorgeous.
Thank you.
[guests exclaiming]
Thank you.
[whispers] Go.
Hey, all right.
[song ends]
[Pastor Luther] Hello.
I’m Pastor Luther.
Uh, and this is one…
[hushed] Come on.
Very good-looking crowd
you have here today, you know.
[laughter]
One great-looking couple.
[laughs]
And one “F” -able pastor.
[Pastor Luther] But today is not about any of us.
Today is about the two of you.
And your love.
[Pastor Luther clears his throat]
♪ With arms wide open ♪
♪ Under the sunlight ♪
♪ Welcome to this place ♪
♪ I’ll show you everything ♪
What is this?
[mumbles “I don’t know”]
♪ With arms wide open ♪
[guests exclaiming, chuckling]
[Pastor Luther] Do we have the rings?
[boat approaching]
Yes.
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[overlapping chatter]
Oh.
[guests screaming]
[laughing]
Yeah.
Huh?
Two?
Yeah!
No, you don’t have to do it again.
Come on, let’s go. Whoo!
No, no.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
[panicked shouting]
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
[panicked shouting]
[Captain Barry] Whoo!
[gasping]
♪ ♪
Oh, shit.
[clamoring]
♪ ♪
Alligator!
[panicked screaming]
[Dixon] Go!
[Neve screaming]
Are-are you okay?
Didn’t get to do my second song.
I lost my wife!
Where’s the wife?!
[screaming]
[music concludes with a flourish]
I said we should do the ceremony somewhere else.
Baby, I know, I know.
But I didn’t think there was a chance in hell that that was gonna happen.
Well, I did, and no one listened to me.
Well, I’m sorry.
It was an honest mistake. Can’t you understand that?
It’s not just this.
Baby, you’ve been acting weird all weekend.
Your family thinks I’m trash, so you overcompensate.
They don’t think… they don’t think you’re trash.
Yeah, they do. Okay, I’m not that dumb.
I love you. I just…
[exhales] I just need a minute.
No, no.
Dixon.
Listen, that father of the bride is behind all of this.
He purposely elongated the ceremony to run out the sunset clock.
Good Lord, Margot, why are you so obsessed with this guy?
I’m not obsessed.
Yes, you are.
You sound very obsessed.
No, no.
And it was not his fault. It’s yours.
Wait. My fault?
How is it my fault?
Margot,
Dixon said it wasn’t safe to get married on the dock,
but instead I listened to you.
And now Dixon’s upset at me on my wedding day,
and we didn’t even get married.
I-I’m sorry, honey.
I-I…
It’s okay.
Wow, it’s kind of funny.
Your sister looks a little bit like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings franchise.
[pensive music playing]
[sighs]
[Margot shouts angrily]
[frustrated grunting]
Why?
You need to follow through just a little bit more.
I don’t give a shit about my golf game, Jim.
Fair enough.
[sighs]
I just needed this weekend to be perfect for Neve.
Perfect.
Things go wrong at weddings. I-I’m sure she understands.
Neve’s just the most important person in my life.
She’s like my-my baby sister and my daughter and my husband and my best friend
all rolled up into one.
I just have one person that is so important to me,
I just, I get worried that when she has this baby,
then she’s gonna be closer to my family
’cause they have more in common, and then she won’t need me anymore,
and I don’t know what I’m gonna do if that happens.
Sorry, I’m just being a little intense right now.
No. No, no, no, I-I totally get it.
I mean, Jenni’s everything in the world to me.
And I’m-I’m so scared that now that she’s married,
she’ll be out of my life and I’ll be all alone.
Do you know that when your child turns 18,
that’s 92% of the time you’re ever gonna spend with them.
I thought…
if I could give her the perfect wedding, it would remind her of why she needs me.
I mean, just saying that out loud, it sounds so pathetic.
No. That-that’s not pathetic.
I completely understand.
I don’t know what I’d do without my daughter.
Well, I don’t know what I would do without my sister.
[exhales]
God, I love this place.
Yeah.
Mm.
I do, too.
[bird calling]
[crickets chirping]
[gentle melody playing]
I should go back.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[laughing]
This is so stupid.
I had completely convinced myself…
Okay.
That you had intentionally sabotaged my sister’s wedding.
And-and even as I say it, it sounds insane.
[both laughing]
[Jim] Mm-hmm.
It’s dumb.
Yeah.
Um… [chuckles]
Well, can I be honest?
Of course.
Um…
I did overhear you say some negative things about me and my daughter and, uh…
Oh.
I purposely extended the ceremony so…
you would run out of sunset.
And I might’ve, uh, had a conversation with the boat captain
about messing with the dock.
[gasps]
Just a little bit.
Oh.
I-I didn’t want her to do what she did.
[laughs lightly]
Point is, I didn’t think it through, and it…
and it wasn’t very kind.
Mm.
And being kind is very central to who I am as a person, so…
So I apologize. I’m sorry.
Uh-huh.
Well, we’ve both been acting very crazy.
Tell me about it. I…
Yeah.
It just… Congrats to Jenni and to you.
Thank you.
[sighs]
You don’t know how much of a relief that was to get that off my shoulders.
Mm.
He literally admitted it straight to my face.
No, he did not!
That is why we’re gonna go chaos monkey on his ass.
Yeah, we’re going chaos monkey!
Who y’all going chaos monkey on?
That weird father of the other wedding, y’all!
Yeah, the tall fucking weird guy!
That asshole is the reason my wedding dress is in a garbage bag.
Yeah, he’s behind this whole dock incident.
Oh, no, he wasn’t.
What?
Oh, yes, he was.
Oh, no, he wasn’t.
[Margot] Oh, yes, he was.
Now he is going down!
Oh, my God, we are going to chaos monkey the motherfucking shit out of him.
Yes!
Chaos! Chaos!
Monkey! Monkey!
[screaming savagely]
[intense music playing]
[shouting loudly]
[grunting, screaming]
[Colton] Let’s go!
[music stops]
[“Coro: Viva il grande Kaimakan” from The Italian Girl in Algiers]
[song continues in Italian]
♪ ♪
[♪ DNCE: “Cake by the Ocean”]
♪ Walk for me, baby…
Hi. [giggling]
Are you like a professional DJ?
Oh, no.
Could’ve fooled me.
I think DJs are sexy as hell and…
It… I just think it’s very hot.
Are you pregnant?
Are you into that?
No.
Hey, stretch. How tall are you?
I… six-three, I think.
Listen to me, I’m married,
but if I wasn’t, I’d tear your root system out with my teeth.
Huh.
I got a spray tan if you’re wondering what that smell is.
I wasn’t.
[song ends]
[upbeat music begins playing]
♪ I’m an animal…
[guests exclaiming, cheering]
[Colton] Colton, you got this. Fuck yes.
♪ The way you got me tonight, yeah, I’m an animal…
Holy shit! It’s Zebra from Masquerade!
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God. It’s Zebra from Masquerade.
Shots.
[Sam] Zebra from Masquerade.
You kick ass.
Oh, my God. Zebra from Masquerade!
[guests chanting] Zebra! Zebra! Zebra!
Zebra from Masquerade!
It’s Zebra from Masquerade!
Oh, great.
What’s Zebra and what’s Masquerade?
It’s a dance reality show.
Zebra’s like the breakout star. He’s the best dancer on Earth.
Oh. Okay.
You’ll see, you’ll see.
♪ We gon’ hop three times, then we shake a leg ♪
♪ We go round and round, baby, clap your hands…
[Jim] Oh, yeah, yeah, I got, I got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
[Colton] ♪ Shake your thing, shake yourself ♪
Though to be honest, he’s…
not as good in real life as he is on the show.
[Colton] ♪ Shake yourself, move it, hop and skip ♪
♪ Zebra…
[Colton] Let’s go!
Whoo! All right!
Whoo!
Oopsie.
Getting awful close to that cake.
♪ Yeah, I’m an animal, animal, now watch me move ♪
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[opera singers vocalizing to rousing music]
[Colton] Here we go. Come on, y’all.
♪ ♪
All right.
[Margot] Get the fucking cake!
[Colton] I’m getting it. Shut up.
[Neve] Go.
It’s a trap. It’s a trick. They’re heading for the cake!
Stop following Zebra from Masquerade!
No. No, no, no, not the cake!
[Colton] Whoa!
Hiya!
[slow, distorted] Not the cake!
[gasps]
♪ ♪
[flame whooshing]
[Jenni screams]
[guests exclaiming]
Oh, shit.
[music stops]
[Margot] Whoo!
[Colton] We knocked over the cake!
Chaos monkey! Chaos monkey! Chaos..!
Yeah!
[upbeat dance music playing]
Dad, what the hell was that?
Just so you know,
that was not Zebra from whatever-the-fuck.
That was sabotage from the sister of the other bride.
What? What are you talking about?
Why are you so obsessed with her?
I’m not! I’m just telling you what I saw.
Look, I get that me getting married is a big change for you,
but can you please just pull your shit together, Dad, please?
Of course, cuddle bug. I-I’m sorry.
Here, let me help.
Oliver’s got it.
That was crazy.
I had a lot of fun.
[laughter]
[Neve] Did you?
It was fun to do. I mean,
I don’t ever dance or anything.
That was great.
So, yeah, that was cool.
This has been surprisingly fun.
I’m shocked to say, I agree.
Yeah.
[Gwynny] Mm-hmm.
Hey, Margot, how come, how come we don’t see you more?
You know, sometimes I just kind of feel out of step with you all.
It’s just… I know you all live in the same city,
and you’re married and you have kids and you’re getting married,
and my life just isn’t like that.
Um, and sometimes when I’m with you, I feel like… I’m an outsider.
Sort of.
No.
We all feel like outsiders.
You do not feel like an outsider.
I mean, your house is literally gonna be in Garden & Gun.
Yeah, it’s a big deal, and I feel special, but…
I’m so fricking bored that I could blow up my life at any time.
What?
What are you talking about?
Did something happen?
Nothing happens. That’s the problem.
When that dock collapsed, that was the most alive I’ve felt in years.
You know, like, two men got up from under me and-and touched my butt.
[laughter]
I’m in major financial trouble.
What?
Yeah.
What about your businesses
and other businesses?
I know.
Kind of thought we had the market cornered.
Come to find out that there’s a pretty big player in the game called Bank of America.
That’s-that’s just what banks already do.
Thank God for the wife. [chuckles]
Otherwise, I don’t know how we’d be getting through this.
Her family’s helping us out, but the dad of the wife,
he emasculates me every chance that he gets.
You mean father-in-law.
Yeah, the dad of the wife.
But can you just say “father-in-law”?
I am saying that. I’m saying the dad of the wife.
I think we’re not gonna figure this out.
[Colton] Yeah.
How are you doing, Nevey?
I hate to say it, but I’m actually really happy,
and I feel like my life’s in a really good place.
That’s ’cause you’re young.
[Gwynny] Oh, my darling.
If you need to go around naked, do it now.
Because one day, everything is just gonna…
go to you-know-what in a handbasket.
Your breasts are going to just point downward,
and it’s gonna look like you got a little, uh,
marble in the end of a tube sock.
And your stomach is gonna hang like a small purse…
Hold on.
That is legit.
[Neve] What?
Are y’all seeing this?
Get over here.
[Neve] What? What is it?
[Neve gasps] Oh, my God.
[Colton] Oh.
Is that the groom from the other wedding making out with one of her bridesmaids?
I would know those headphones anywhere.
Oh.
That is so juicy.
The wife is gonna flip when she hears about this.
Oh, what a whore.
Gwynny, we don’t call women whores.
I mean, but she’s doing whore stuff.
Right, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, that poor kid. Someone’s gonna have to tell her.
I can’t do it.
I’m not telling her, all right?
I’ll do it. I’ll talk to her.
No, I’m gonna do it.
You just stay here.
Okay.
[♪ Beck & Phoenix: “Odyssey”]
♪ Don’t look the other way, somewhere…
Hey, why are you here? What do you want?
[sighs]
I have to tell Jenni something.
There’s no way, not after what you guys did to our cake.
You’re just trying to sabotage the wedding.
Fine, I will tell you.
Me and my siblings just saw her fiancé making out with one of her bridesmaids.
That’s a lie.
You’re just trying to destroy her wedding through subterfuge.
I am just telling you what I saw.
Why are you sticking your nose into her business anyway?
I’m trying to help, Jim.
Help?
You said my daughter’s hair makes her look like a road whore.
Okay.
A road whore!
Not even a regular whore.
I’m sorry I tried to help.
I like your daughter. I’ve had enough of you.
Good luck.
[insects trilling]
[low chatter]
Jim. What’s up, man?
What’s going on?
Oh, my God, arepas, man, they’re so good.
I’m really gonna miss these.
But they’re-they’re local. They’re-they’re made in Atlanta.
No, ’cause we’re moving to Memphis, you know.
[intense music playing]
For Jenni’s graphic design gig.
I thought you were moving down the street from me.
Shit.
Did Jenni not tell you that?
She was gonna tell you before the wedding weekend.
I-I’m so sorry she didn’t, she didn’t…
No. No, no, no, no, no.
She did tell you?
She did.
It slipped my mind ’cause, you know, it’s not that big of a deal.
Yeah. Jimmy.
Ollie.
[Oliver laughs]
♪ ♪
You saw Oliver making out with a bridesmaid?
Yes.
You know it was him?
Are you serious?
One hundred percent.
What an asshole.
Okay, I think we’re jumping to conclusions.
How could he act, like, so normal while fully living a double life?
He’s totally been gaslighting you this entire time.
That’s what men do: they gaslight.
[Jenni] Everyone, stop.
Do you really think you saw this, Dad?
Yes.
It’s what was seen.
[♪ Bleachers: “Modern Girl”]
[guests chattering and laughing]
[Oliver] Oh, there she is. Okay, here we go. You ready?
All right, this is dedicated to my lady.
[♪ LG (Team Genius): “Lose It”]
Oh, snap!
♪ Put your hands up, stand up, get up, lights on, let’s get lit up and bounce ♪
♪ Know the vibes to live to get down ♪
♪ So we back up for now, let’s act up and smile ♪
♪ High heels, they kicking off they sho es ♪
♪ Please don’t make me lose it ♪
♪ Yeah, please don’t make me lose it ♪
♪ I’m about to lose it…
Stop. Stop it. Stop doing your surprise dance.
[music stops]
We, like, worked on it forever. Can we just do it?
Who did you make out with?
[guests gasping]
[woman] What?
Oh, no.
[Oliver] What’re…
What’re you talking about? What’re you talking about?
You made out with one of the bridesmaids.
Who was it?
[guests gasping]
I would never do that. I would never do that.
Well, my dad saw you.
[gasping]
Right?
It’s what was seen.
But I, but I… Jim, I didn’t do that.
I didn’t do that.
Turn the music on.
Wait. What, why?
Because I’m the bride and I said so.
Okay.
[♪ Flo Rida: “Right Round”]
♪ You spin my head right round…
What are you doing?
♪ When you go down ♪
[Jenni laughing] ♪ When you go down down ♪
♪ Hey, walk out of the house with my swagger ♪
Come on.
♪ Hop in, there we go, I got places to go ♪
♪ People to see, time is precious, I look at my Cartier, outta control ♪
♪ Just like my mind where I’m goin’ ♪
♪ No women, no shorties, no nothin’ but clothes…
Relax. This is all in good fun.
[Jenni grunts]
[guests exclaiming]
[Josh] Hey, no.
Fuck!
Who was it?
No one.
♪ Right round, when you go down…
[Jenni laughing]
Okay.
Hi.
[Leslie grunts]
Not Leslie.
[guests exclaiming]
♪ Right round, right round, when you go down ♪
Whoo!
♪ When you go down down ♪
♪ From the top of the pole, I watch her go down ♪
[guests exclaiming]
♪ She got me throwing my money around…
All right, cut the lights, cut the music.
[music stops]
[crying] Oliver, I love you. How could you do this to me?
I love you, too. Why is this happening?
[both laughing]
[hesitantly] What’s going on?
My dad saw Oliver making out with a bridesmaid.
What? No. Who?
Where?
I-In… in front of the hotel.
Oh, that was… That was me and Addie.
[guests gasping]
You said that you knew it was Oliver.
My bad.
Everything is fucked now.
[drops microphone]
[microphone feedback hums]
[guests murmuring]
Why would you kiss another woman on your wedding night?
[door opens]
What?!
She kissed my groomsman and the weirdo that runs the hotel.
[sighs] Jenni!
Wait!
[Jim] Okay.
Okay, I’ll be honest. I never saw what happened.
The sister of the other bride, she’s the one who told me,
and-and she must’ve made a mistake.
So you never saw anything?
You looked me in the eye and lied to me.
Well, when were you gonna tell me that you guys were moving to Memphis?
You’ve been lying to me, too.
[scoffs]
So that’s what this is actually about.
My whole life, I thought you wanted me to be happy,
but in reality, you just wanted to trap me near you.
That’s not true.
Do you realize how stressful and unhealthy it is
to have all your dad’s happiness riding on your own?
Jenni, please, you’re the most important person in the world to me.
Well, if that’s true, then why do we lie to each other
all the time about everything?
I don’t want to see you again.
[somber music playing]
Oh, no! [grunts]
I’m having a heart attack.
[grunts]
You’re not having a heart attack.
[Jim groaning]
[thuds]
My heart hurts so much.
[scoffs]
[breathing rapidly, cries out]
Sounds like you’re in labor.
Here comes another one. [breathing rapidly]
Stop doing Lamaze breathing.
[breathlessly] One, two, five.
[yelling in pain]
I think he’s really having a heart attack right now.
He’s just trying to manipulate me to get me to stay.
[groans]
Dad.
Get up.
Daddy?
Oh, my God. Oliver, call 911.
Oh, okay, I think it was just a panic attack.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I shouldn’t have done that.
Why did I do that?
Jenni?
Please, can’t we just talk?
Leave me alone.
Jenni.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no.
Eh, eh, eh, eh. Hey.
What-what is this?
Seems we’re making a-a bit of a wall.
[bridesmaid] That’s right.
[Jim sighs]
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[bridesmaid] That really went well.
Jenni!
You’re not getting past me!
[bridesmaids yelling, grunting]
Jenni!
♪ ♪
Jenni!
[bridesmaids shouting]
Jenni!
[shouting continues]
Jenni!
[thuds]
[bridesmaids exclaim]
[music concludes with a flourish]
[alligator growls]
[crickets chirping]
Dixon.
No, Margot, I just dried off.
Listen…
I don’t have the bandwidth for more shenanigans right now.
I just want to personally apologize for what happened at the dock.
That was an insane idea to support.
Look, I can’t marry Neve unless we tell your mom she’s pregnant.
I get that dishonesty is like a… like a cool thing in your family.
But I’m just, I’m not built that way.
Listen, you don’t know my mother. She will not understand.
Look, I feel like I’ve been pretty chill about everything this weekend.
I’m asking for one thing.
Okay…
If that’s what you want to do, baby, that’s what we’re gonna do.
Are you serious?
What if Mom flips out?
I got my guy by my side.
I got my big sister by my side.
Let her flip out.
[gentle music playing]
[low chatter]
[Flora] You know. Oh.
Hey, y’all, um…
There’s something that I want to tell you before we get married.
I’m pregnant.
Oh, my God.
My littlest is pregnant.
[excited chatter]
Oh, congratulations.
[Neve laughing]
[Colton] Oh, we’re gonna have a new baby in the family.
[excited chatter]
[Dixon] Thanks, y’all. Excited.
[Flora] We got to get you enrolled
in prenatal classes at the hospital.
Thanks, Mama. I was afraid y’all were gonna be mad.
[Gwynny] Nevey, I’m gonna hook you up with all the mommy and me stuff
in the Atlanta area.
And I’ve got boxes and boxes of clothes.
[Neve] How good of a daddy is he gonna be?
[♪ Laura Lee: “Need to Belong”]
♪ I need to belong ♪
♪ To someone ♪
♪ It hurts to be known as no one ♪
♪ Will ever some sweet boy ♪
[vocalizing]
♪ Bring love into my world, ’cause…
Hey, sweetheart, can you play, uh, “Bless the Broken Road” by Rascal Flatts?
Rascal Flatts? Really?
Whoo.
[applause]
[♪ Rascal Flatts: “Bless the Broken Road”]
Did you do this?
Maybe.
You made me the happiest bride in the world.
[laughing]
♪ I set out on a narrow way…
[♪ The Magic Flute, K. 620, Act II: “Der Hölle Rache”]
[opera singer vocalizing to dramatic music]
Beat it, Dawson Scott.
Hey.
What are you doing?
Why are you all wet and you smell like fish?
I jumped in the lake.
You lied about my daughter’s husband.
I did not lie.
I saw what I saw.
You better back off.
I’m not gonna back off. I’m twice as big as you.
You’re just the tiniest dog in the yard.
And you know what?
The tiniest dog ends up being the yard boss.
Except in this case, I’m the yard boss due to my larger size and my alpha status.
Alpha? You’re not an alpha.
You’re a beta at best. Probably a gamma.
I think you mean delta.
No, gamma comes before delta, dumbass.
You know what? I don’t give a shit. You’re so fucking annoying.
Look, the point is, after this weekend, you’re gonna be just like me:
all alone.
What?
No, I’m not.
That’s not true.
Take it back.
What are you doing?
What… I can still see you.
Get out of here. Get out of here, weirdo.
[Jim] Sorry.
Oh, Margot, uh, I guess after this,
I imagine we won’t be seeing you for a little while.
Why not?
Well, I mean, what’s the next event?
Well, Nevey’s gonna have the baby.
I’ll come out for that.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, that’s a surprise.
Why would that be a surprise?
Well, I can’t remember the last time you visited.
Well, that’s ’cause you never invite me.
And I-I kind of argue that you push me away.
I push you away?
When is the last time you picked up a phone and just called me?
And you’ve never visited me in Los Angeles, not once,
and I’ve lived there almost 25 years.
Well, you’ve never invited me.
[sighs] Do you know why I like this island?
Because Nana was sweet to me, and we were always honest with each other,
and I felt like she genuinely cared about me.
Which is something you have never done.
Hey, is everything okay over here, Margot?
No, nothing is okay.
Do you know, your precious amazing Colton that’s so successful,
he’s actually going broke.
And Gwynny and her perfect life, she wants to blow it all up
’cause she’s bored out of her mind.
And-and… and, you know, you have been treating Dixon like trash
because you think he is.
And all of us have wanted to say something to you,
but nobody can do it because they’re all scared of you.
And the truth is, somebody has to be honest with you about your behavior.
Might as well be me.
I am proud of your success,
but I can’t pretend to understand your life.
For years now, I feel like that you have looked down on me.
And what you think of as honesty,
that just makes me nervous to be around you.
Okay, Mom, well, I’m sorry that I made you feel bad.
That was not my intention.
Babe, babe.
That is not what I meant.
Dixon, Dixon, Dixon, please.
Margot, what the hell?
What?
We told you all that stuff in confidence.
Margot, why the hell would you announce at my wedding
that Mom thinks Dixon is trash, huh?
Why would you do that?
I was just being honest. I was doing it out of caring.
What?
You don’t care about us.
Of course I do.
Oh, yeah?
No…
Oh, my God.
If you care, then what are my kids’ names?
Yeah.
That is offensive. Of course I know their names.
Wyatt, Blake, Dawson
and… J…
J… Joey.
It’s Scotty Joe.
Scotty Joe.
It’s not Joey.
Not to mention the fact you didn’t even say their proper names.
You just said the first half of each of their names.
Why do they all have three names?
I’m not Margot Millie Mae what-the-fuck.
I’m just Margot. Just one name.
Neve, can we just get out of here? We can still salvage this weekend.
Margot, I don’t want to leave. This is my family.
You always want to go? You go.
Honestly, I never feel lonelier than when I’m around all of you.
And it’s a really horrible feeling to feel lonely around your own family.
It really is.
Wow.
Yeah, the wife bet me you were gonna blow up.
Stop calling her “the wife.”
She’s not an object. She’s a human.
Well, then what am I supposed to call her?
I don’t know. Honey, sweetie, babe, sugar pie.
Maybe Rebecca. That’s her name.
Well, look who all of a sudden is a name expert.
[contemplative music playing]
[gasps] What the fuck?!
[shoes drop to floor]
Jenni’s my only family, and she’s gone because of you.
[gasps]
So I caught this guy,
and I was gonna unleash him and have him attack you.
That’s how mad I was.
But then I wrestled him too hard, and now I think he’s dead.
I’m the producer of a show called Is It Dead?
And I’m here to tell you… that’s not dead.
Well, you don’t… Oh!
[snarling]
[screaming]
Oh, no!
Get it out of here!
So scared right now!
Pull it by the tail.
Just help me!
[alligator hissing]
Stop yelling instructions!
Get it the fuck out of here!
Funny thing is, I got it in here no problem.
No shit!
This thing sucks.
Get it to the window. Get it to the window.
Maybe I’ll just leave it here.
If you leave me here with that, I will kill you!
[grunting]
Pick it up!
It’s an alligator. You say it so casually, you pick it up.
[Margot screams]
So much torque.
[Margot] Go, go, yes.
That’s it. Come on. Get it to the window.
Can you at least open the window?
You open the fucking window.
You know what? I’ll just smash it through the window.
No, you’re gonna hurt it.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
Fine!
Please.
[hissing]
[grunting]
[Margo grunts] Okay.
[Margot screams]
See you later, alligator!
[alligator thuds, groans]
[both panting]
[Jim] Phew. Oh.
What a relief.
[Margot groans]
That could’ve been bad. Yeah.
Yeah.
[whimpering quietly]
Are you okay?
I don’t know.
I don’t want to look at it.
What… what do you mean you…
Oh, no. Oh, no, it bit you?
[groaning] Oh, God. I don’t feel good.
Oh, Jesus, okay, okay.
I don’t feel good.
Okay, stay awake. Stay…
Okay, I’m gonna go get help.
[moaning]
Go get help. [panting]
[♪ Warrant: “Cherry Pie”]
♪ She’s my cherry pie…
A-one, a-two, a-one, two…
[Jim] Stop the music! Stop the show!
Stop the show, please!
[guests groaning]
Yes!
Oh, boo!
[music stops]
[panting] I need your help. Your sister’s badly hurt.
What?
What?
She was in her room,
and she was bit by an alligator.
She’s losing a lot of blood.
Oh, my God.
How did an alligator get in her room?
What are you, the alligator police?!
Honestly! Show some respect!
Me?
The important thing is
we need to save a woman’s life.
[guests exclaim]
Whoa.
I’m a trained medic. I’ll take a look.
All right, that’s a bit much.
I’ll grab the hotel’s first aid kit.
[Neve] Oh, my God.
[Dixon] Okay, it’s a clean bite.
Oh, my God.
I can patch this up pretty quickly, but she’s lost a lot of blood.
Where’s the closest hospital?
Oh, it’s a boat ride and at least 40 miles away.
[overlapping frantic chatter]
You should at least have access to the doctor in the local town!
Okay, everybody, calm down. I can do a vein-to-vein transfer.
We just need somebody with Margot’s blood type.
Does anybody here have the same blood type?
Okay, I do.
[gentle melody playing]
You saved my life.
[sighs softly]
Even after I was an asshole to you.
Of course I did.
Always in your corner forever.
♪ ♪
So I think I overreacted.
Might not have even needed that vein-to-vein transfusion.
[chuckles] Just got kind of fired up on saving the day.
You know, it’s pretty cool, though.
Bet you didn’t even know you could do that.
Do we still not know how the alligator got into the room?
No, we don’t. We don’t know.
[gentle melody playing]
[birds chirping]
Hi, Mama.
Hey.
I’m… [sighs]
I’m sorry about all that stuff I said.
I really didn’t mean it.
No, you meant some of it. You needed to say it.
I needed to hear it.
Mom, I should’ve…
Let me just finish.
And I am so happy that you and Neve and my mother
had such a great relationship.
But I did not have a good relationship with her.
I don’t like this island…
because for my entire childhood,
my mother made me feel inadequate.
She never listened to me.
And somehow I have repeated that dynamic with you.
[crying] And it’s heartbreaking, because I love you.
And I just don’t know how to relate to you.
Thank you for saying that.
I love you, too.
Oh, honey.
I think talks like this are a good way to start.
[Flora sniffles] Oh, my goodness.
[Neve] Hi, Mama.
[Gwynny] Hey, y’all.
Come on in. Let’s hug it out.
Come on in here.
[Neve] Yes, Mama.
I love ya. Love ya, love ya, love ya.
[Neve] I love you, Mama.
How about a bite? Haven’t tried this yet.
That cake is dry.
That’s too bad.
[contemplative music playing]
Do you want to trade bites?
Sure.
I mean, I-I kind of need to taste that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mmm.
It’s really good.
It’s not too dry?
No, it’s perfect.
Hmm.
Have you heard from your daughter?
No.
No?
But according to TikTok, she and Oliver annulled their marriage.
What?
[♪ Selena Gomez: “Lose You to Love Me”]
♪ You promised the world and I fell for it…
[Margot] That’s so fast.
They filled out an online form, so it wasn’t very dramatic.
♪ Set fires to my forest…
They’re very aware of where the camera is.
♪ Sang off-key in my chorus ♪
♪ ‘Cause it wasn’t yours ♪
[song stops]
Boy, I really screwed the pooch on this one.
Do you ever wonder what your wife would think of the woman she’s become?
She would’ve been really proud of her.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Proud of how kind she is.
How funny.
Hmm.
How tough.
Yeah.
Do you think she would want her to marry Oliver?
I don’t know. I-I think so.
I mean, the kid loves her.
Well, then you should just try and save their marriage, right?
I think you should.
Who are you?
What? I’m the other bride.
That’s my sister.
Yes. I-I didn’t recognize you without all the… the getup.
Yeah. [chuckles]
It’s okay. I get it.
But also… [chuckles]
Yeah.
She took my car.
We can drive you. We have a lot of cars. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh, now, before you go, I do need y’all to, uh, settle up your bill
and figure out how you’re gonna reimburse me for the dock damage.
Let’s go get my daughter.
Uh, did you want to change first?
Why?
Okay, he’s going. Let’s go.
Yes!
[♪ L’Italiana in Algeri, Act 1, Scene 4, Finale: “Nella testa ho un campanello”]
[low chatter]
You guys all drive the same white Chevy Suburban?
Yeah.
So?
Yeah. Come on.
[Jim] How do you tell them apart?
[engines roaring]
[opera singers vocalizing to rousing music]
[tires squealing]
[music concludes with a flourish]
[sighs] I don’t know what to say to her.
[engine shuts off]
Just be honest.
She can handle it. I promise.
Just be honest. Yeah.
Yeah.
She can handle it. I promise.
Okay, right.
[Jim grunts]
[gasps]
She doesn’t want to see you, bitch.
This doesn’t concern you.
Uh, she’s my best friend, so, yeah, it does.
[Jim grunting]
Don’t touch me.
I’m not touching you. I’m trying to get in the elevator.
[grunts]
Don’t touch me! I’m just a child!
You’re 23 years old. [grunting]
I’m a baby!
Don’t touch her! She’s a goddamn baby!
[grunting]
Don’t touch me!
[overlapping shouting]
[elevator bell dings]
Jesus, don’t you guys have jobs?
No. The economy’s terrible.
[Jim grunts]
[frantic yelling]
[dramatic opera music playing]
[yelling continues]
[man grunts]
[yelling continues]
[gentle music playing]
Oh, my God. What happened?
Jenni, I-I just want to apologize.
[breathlessly] Don’t listen to him. He’s trying to gaslight you.
[Georgia] I thought Oliver was the one trying to gaslight her.
They’re both gaslighting.
What does “gaslight” even mean?
Gaslighting is manipulating someone so they start to doubt
their own thoughts, feelings or experiences.
[bridesmaids] Oh.
Oh, I was not using that right.
[murmuring, laughter]
Wait, where’d she go? How’d she do that?
[door closes]
Jenni?
[gentle melody playing]
[sighs] Okay, so… [sniffs]
When you were six years old
and I had to sit you down to tell you that your mom had died…
I watched your heart break apart.
And I never ever wanted to see that again.
Dad.
So…
I think the reason I’m not honest with you is because…
I want your world to be perfect.
At all times.
And, well, if I’m being honest…
about myself…
I’m not fine.
At all.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
I think it’s events like these that trigger how much I miss your mom.
I miss her, too.
What?
No, never mind.
[chuckles]
No, tell me.
Let’s… let’s be honest, you know?
[sighs]
Okay.
I miss having sex with her so much.
I mean…
What?
I’m sorry if that’s too much information, but it’s true,
and-and I’m just trying to be honest.
I really don’t want to know that, but I also really appreciate your honesty.
I do because…
I’m not fine either.
I mean, I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
You know, like, I’m doing graphic design right now,
but honestly that’s kind of random.
Like, I don’t have my thing, you know?
Like, Oliver has his thing, he has his music,
but I don’t know what I care about, and I just feel like I’m flailing and…
I’m, like, panicking at every minute of every day.
I had no idea.
I know.
I’m too scared to tell you because if I’m not happy, then you’re not happy.
And so I just end up keeping all these, like, secrets from you.
Okay, another thing. Why did we sing “Islands in the Stream” together?
I mean, isn’t that… isn’t that weird?
Like, that’s a romantic, kind of sexual song.
Yeah, I see why you would think that, but…
it’s a song your mom and I used to sing to you
to help you fall asleep when you were a baby.
Oh.
Look, I-I keep secrets, too.
I know I’ve always said that I never dated.
Well, right after your mom died,
I had a three-way with two widows.
Wow.
The saddest three-way of all time.
No one said a word.
We were just crying.
And banging and banging.
And banging and crying.
You know, I think we found the line of the things
we need to be honest about, you know?
Yeah.
I felt it, too.
Yeah, yeah.
You know I have to move, right?
[sighs]
Yeah, yeah, I know.
But just know, I’ll always be in your corner, okay?
Forever.
I’ll always be in your corner forever, too, Dad.
Obviously.
Oh.
Come on, come on.
I love you.
I love you, too.
You don’t smell good.
All right.
[bridesmaids laughing]
[clapping hands]
Hey. Listen up.
Let’s find Oliver. Let’s get these guys remarried.
I’m here.
Wait, but I… I thought you moved out. You know, the video and everything.
Oh, that was just for social, you know. It was like two hours ago.
I couldn’t really have moved out in that time.
All right, well, let’s get you guys remarried.
That’s what I’m here to do.
I think, to be honest, which is so important…
I’m so sorry, but I think we’re just too young to do this right now.
Right?
I’ve been melting down for, like, a year now.
Really?
Yeah.
So, you still want to move to Memphis with me?
Of course I do.
Yeah?
I love you.
I love you, too.
[bridesmaids] Cheers!
[glasses clinking]
[happy chatter]
[gentle intro to “Islands in the Stream” playing]
[Jim singing softly] ♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between, how can we be wrong? ♪
♪ Sail away with me to another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
[song ends]
Wait, I don’t get it. Are they getting married again or not?
They’re not.
They’re not getting married again.
[bridesmaids talking and laughing]
It was so nice meeting y’all.
You, too.
Yeah.
I mean, despite everything. [chuckles]
Yeah.
What?
My dad likes you.
Oh. Oh.
Yeah.
Why would you say that?
Because he’s been obsessing over you all weekend.
Plus he’s been smiling at you in a way that makes me feel…
grossed out.
Hmm.
[♪ Yaz: “Only You”]
♪ Looking from a window above, it’s like a story of love ♪
♪ Can you hear me? ♪
♪ Came back only yesterday…
You’re trying to destroy her wedding!
♪ Want you near me ♪
[singsongy] She’s dead.
♪ All I needed was the love you gave ♪
[alligator grunting, snarling]
♪ All I needed for another ♪
[song ends]
That’s his “I like you” look?
Yeah. Yeah.
[laughs softly] Okay.
All right, everybody, it’s time to head home.
How are y’all getting back into the city?
75 to I-85.
Same.
Ditto.
Does that make a lot of sense, though?
Maybe at this time of day, we should take surface streets.
Why take surface streets when the highway is always faster?
Jesus Christ, Flora! Maybe she likes a more scenic way.
Or maybe she wants to run errands.
The point is, she’s an adult and it’s none of your fucking business!
[laughs]
Really sorry. I’m very exhausted.
[hushed] I like this one.
[engine shuts off]
[Margot sighs, clears throat]
Wow.
[laughs]
That was crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, I tried to destroy a young woman’s wedding.
For literally no reason at all.
I mean, I… I wrestled and caught an alligator.
And, wait, how did you memorize all the names of my nieces and nephews?
Oh, it’s called a memory palace.
You create a mental room for each person you’re trying to remember,
and then you think of a shocking image that somehow relates to that person.
So, for instance, your niece.
Yeah.
Eva.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought of Hitler’s girlfriend, Eva Braun,
and then I’d picture your niece Eva in a Nazi uniform.
Jesus.
Well, I mean, what can I say? It works.
You try it.
Okay.
My nephew Tucker Lee.
Yeah, sure.
Um… f-fucker. [laughs]
Fuck… fuck-a-bee?
Tucker Lee fuck-a-bee.
That, I mean…
Oh, wait, that works.
Fuck-a-Bea Arthur kind of works.
That kind of works.
[gasps softly]
What? What’s wrong?
I don’t know.
I feel like I’m…
I feel like I’m gonna cry.
No, I-I can’t. I mean, I think I’m having allergies.
That’s probably it. [sniffling]
Well, I mean, maybe, you know,
because your younger sister’s married and she’s having a baby,
and this is just how you’re processing it.
No, that’s not it. That’s not it at all.
And maybe it’s because it was good to see your brother and their kids and…
And you say you don’t miss seeing them, but maybe you do miss seeing them.
Nah, it’s probably that alligator bite medication.
Or maybe it’s because their kids are growing up so quickly.
Your parents suddenly look old, maybe, maybe older than you expected.
[crying quietly]
This is…
This is so embarrassing. [sniffles]
It’s not embarrassing. It’s natural.
I think I’m gonna miss you.
I think you’re gorgeous when you cry.
[gentle melody playing]
Okay, um, I have to be honest about something.
What? Are you married?
No.
Okay, just tell me.
I do dye my hair.
I know.
How?
‘Cause your beard is a totally different color than the hair on top of your head.
[stammers]
Yeah, it’s really obvious.
Does it look that obvious?
Yeah, it’s real…
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
[sighs]
Okay, I can see why that would be a tell.
Yeah.
Okay.
I’d like to see you again.
Yeah, I think we should.
Good.
Wait, do you have a job?
I’m the CEO of Delta Airlines.
Oh.
Yeah.
Wow.
[Jim] So, yeah. You didn’t think I had a job?
[Margot] I thought maybe you were a hairdresser.
[Jim] That is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me. Thank you.
[Margot] Oh, my goodness!
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!
[excited chatter]
[Dixon] Happy Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to y’all as well.
So, how’s L.A. treating you so far?
[Flora] Well, the air is so dry, and at all times
the sun’s in my eyes.
It’s terrible skin weather.
But we are so looking forward to touring your workplace.
Well, I am so touched that you’re all here.
Who wants to take a tour?
[Flora] We all do.
[Jim] All right, let’s go.
[Flora] Let’s go see her digs.
Do y’all know, uh, do y’all know Jason Statham?
Would we get to meet someone like that?
[Flora] Oh, honey, just please…
Yeah.
Everyone, let’s line up for the holiday card photo.
Okay, everybody, line up behind Mama and Daddy.
Uh, Gwynny Mae, Al Monroe, Scotty Joe, Shelby Lynn.
Eva Grace, get in there.
Wyatt Dean, Tucker Lee, right next to each other.
And then, Dawson Scott, get in by your daddy.
And, Colton Levi, Rebecca Esther, right behind him.
And… Neve Rose and Dixon Ray.
And, of course, the newest addition to the family, little baby Cunt-uh, Kent.
Uh, it’s okay. You’re gonna make mistakes like that.
It’s proper use of the technique.
[mouthing] I’m sorry.
And y’all three, you got to get in. You’re family now.
Oh, no, I-I’m… Yeah.
We’re still figuring shit out.
It’s okay. We insist. Come on.
Come on. Let’s go.
[♪ A Little Night Music: “Finale (Reprise of Send in the Clowns)”]
[Margot laughs]
All right, here we go.
Love spending Thanksgiving with your family and not mine.
Say “cheese.”
[Neve] Look, look, look, look.
[camera clicks]
Cheese.
All right, and we got it, we got it.
[excited chatter]
[Margot] Okay, great. Wonderful.
I’m excited to be in the card this year.
[chatter continues indistinctly]
♪ ♪
[music ends]
[“Islands in the Stream”]
♪ Baby, when I met you, there was peace unknown ♪
♪ I set out to get you with a fine-tooth comb ♪
♪ I was soft inside ♪
♪ There was something going on ♪
♪ You do something to me that I can’t explain ♪
♪ Hold me closer and I feel no pain ♪
♪ Every beat of my heart ♪
♪ We got something going on ♪
♪ Tender love is blind ♪
♪ It requires a dedication ♪
♪ All this love we feel needs no conversation ♪
♪ We ride it together, ah ha ♪
♪ Making love with each other, ah ha ♪
♪ Islands in the stream, that is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between ♪
♪ How can we be wrong? ♪
♪ Sail away with me ♪
♪ To another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another ♪
[growling rhythmically]
[song stops]
So, how long do you two think you’re gonna date long distance?
Yeah, um, about that.
There’s something I would like to propose.
Oh.
Ooh, it’s happening, it’s happening.
Here we go.
No, no, no. I love you, but I… I don’t want to get married.
[whispers] We talked about that.
Told you you shouldn’t ask her.
[Dixon] Congratulations, y’all.
I hear somebody got engaged!
No, no.
[♪ The Dixie Cups: “Chapel of Love”]
♪ Goin’ to the chapel ♪
♪ And we’re gonna get married ♪
♪ Goin’ to the chapel ♪
Oh.
Whoa.
♪ And we’re gonna get married ♪
Take it off!
Oh.
Whoa.
♪ Gee, I really love you ♪
♪ And we’re goin’ to the chapel of love…
Do you want to elope?
I thought you didn’t want to get married.
Oh, I-I just don’t like weddings.
Of course.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
[“Islands in the Stream”]
♪ I can’t live without you ♪
♪ If the love was gone ♪
♪ Everything means nothing if you’ve got no one ♪
♪ And I did walk in the night ♪
♪ Slowly losing sight of the real thing ♪
♪ But that won’t happen to us and we got no doubt ♪
♪ Too deep in love and we got no way out ♪
♪ And the message is clear ♪
♪ This could be the year for the real thing ♪
♪ No more will you cry ♪
♪ Baby, I will hurt you never ♪
♪ We start and end as one in love forev er ♪
♪ We can ride it together, ah ha ♪
♪ Making love with each other, ah ha ♪
♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between ♪
♪ How can we be wrong? ♪
♪ Sail away with me ♪
♪ To another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
[laughter]
♪ ♪
♪ Sail away ♪
♪ Oh ♪
♪ Come sail away with me ♪
♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between ♪
♪ How can we be wrong? ♪
♪ Sail away with me ♪
♪ To another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
♪ Islands in the stream ♪
♪ That is what we are ♪
♪ No one in between ♪
♪ How can we be wrong? ♪
♪ Sail away with me ♪
♪ To another world ♪
♪ And we rely on each other, ah ha ♪
♪ From one lover to another, ah ha ♪
[song ends]
[whimsical orchestral music playing]
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
[♪ Magnus Ferrell featuring Deacon: “Slow Down”]
♪ You need to, you need to, you need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to ♪
♪ You need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to, you need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to ♪
♪ You need to, you need to, you need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to ♪
♪ You need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to, you need to slow down ♪
♪ You need to, you need to ♪
♪ Used to make me weak to my knees, yeah ♪
♪ But now I roll my eyes till you’re leaving ♪
♪ Don’t know what I gotta do to make you know now ♪
♪ You need to slow down, you need to slow down ♪
