Young Frankenstein (1974) | Transcript

An American grandson of the infamous scientist, struggling to prove that his grandfather was not as insane as people believe, is invited to Transylvania, where he discovers the process that reanimates a dead body.
Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein (1974)

Young Frankenstein (1974)
Director:
Mel Brooks
Writers: Gene Wilder, Mel Brooks
Based on: Frankenstein 1818 novel by Mary Shelley
Stars: Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Marty Feldman, Cloris Leachman, Teri Garr, Kenneth Mars, Madeline Kahn, Richard Haydn, Richard Roth,
Monte Landis, Rusty Blitz, Gene Hackman, Mel Brooks
Release date: December 15, 1974

Plot: As a respected researcher and physician, Dr. Frederick Frankenstein, the grandson of the more famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein, who did experiments on bringing back the dead, tries to disassociate himself from his more famous relative, even to the point of pronouncing their surname differently. Regardless, Frederick is drawn back to the small Transylvanian town and castle where Victor conducted his experiments, he leaving behind his somewhat standoffish and “untouchable” fiancée, Elizabeth, back in the US. He also slowly begins to get drawn into the research that his grandfather conducted, he eventually learns not by accident. As Frederick tries to reanimate his dead subject with the help of his hunchbacked aide Igor and his beautiful assistant Inga, rumors abound in the town of what he is doing, they who have been trying to disassociate themselves from the work of the former Dr. Frankenstein generations ago. Inspector Kemp is tasked with stopping any work if it is indeed happening. All these issues collide as Frederick and team try to hide their work from the Inspector while hitting some technical roadblocks, and as Elizabeth comes to Transylvania and accidentally gets caught up in the experiment.

* * *

Young Frankenstein (1974) | Transcript

[Thunder]

♪♪ [Violin]

[Thunder]

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Chiming]

[Man] If we look at the base of a brain… which has just been removed from the skull… there’s very little of the midbrain that we can actually see. Yet, as I demonstrated in my lecture last week… if the under aspects of the temporal lobes… are gently pulled apart… the upper portion of the stem of the brain can be seen. The so-called brain stem consists of the midbrain… a rounded protrusion called the pons… and a stalk tapering downwards called the medulla oblongata… which passes out of the skull through the foramen magnum… and becomes, of course, the spinal cord.

Are there any questions before we proceed?

I have one question, Dr. Frankenstein.

That’s “Fronkensteen.”

I beg your pardon?

My name– It’s pronounced “Fronkensteen.”

But aren’t you the grandson of the famous Dr. Victor Frankenstein… who went into graveyards, dug up freshly buried corpses… and transformed dead components into Yes! Yes! Yes!

We all know what he did.

But I’d rather be remembered… for my own small contributions to science… and not because of my accidental relationship… to a famous… cuckoo.

[Laughter] If you don’t mind, can we get on with your question?

Well, sir, I’m not sure I understand the distinction… between reflexive and voluntary nerve impulses. Very good, since our lab work today is a demonstration of just that distinction… why don’t we proceed?

Mr. Hilltop here, with whom I have never worked… nor given any prior instructions to… has graciously offered his services for this afternoon’s demonstration.

Mr. Hilltop, would you hop up on your feet… and stand beside this table?

Nice hopping.

Mr. Hilltop… would you raise your left knee, please?

You have just witnessed a voluntary nerve impulse.

It begins as a stimulus from the cerebral cortex… passes through the brain stem and to the particular muscles involved.

Mr. Hilltop, you may lower your knee.

Reflex movements are those which are made independently of the will… but are carried out along pathways… which pass between the peripheral nervous system… and the central nervous system.

You filthy, rotten, yellow son of a bitch!

[Students Gasp] We are not aware of these impulses.

Neither do we intend them to carry out our contraction of muscles… yet, as you can see, they work by themselves.

But what if we block the nerve impulse… by simply applying local pressure?

Which can be done with any ordinary metal clamp… just at the swelling… on the posterior nerve roots… for, oh, say, five or six seconds.

Why you mother-grabbing bastard!

[Thud]

[Students Gasp]

As you can see, all communication is shut off.

[Whimpers]

[Laughter] In spite of our mechanical magnificence… if it were not for this continuous stream… of motor impulses, we would collapse… like a bunch of broccoli!

[Groaning]

[Applause] In conclusion, it should be noted

Give him an extra dollar

Extra dollar. Yes, sir.

That any more than common injury…

[Whimpering]

To the nerve root is always serious… because once a nerve fiber is severed… there is no way in heaven or on earth… to regenerate life back into it.

Are there any questions before we leave?

Uh, Dr. Frank

Fronkensteen.

Yes?

Isn’t it true that Darwin preserved… a piece of vermicelli in a glass case… until by some extraordinary means it actually began to move…

with a voluntary motion? Are you speaking of the worm or the spaghetti?

[Students Chuckling]

Why, the worm, sir.

Yes, it seems to me I did read… something of that incident when I was a student… but you have to remember that a worm… with very few exceptions… is not a human being.

[Laughter]

But wasn’t that the basis of your grandfather’s work– The reanimation of dead tissue?

My grandfather was a very sick man.

But as a Fronkensteen, aren’t you the least bit curious about it?

Doesn’t the bringing back to life what was once dead hold any intrigue for you?

You’re talking about the nonsensical ravings of a lunatic mind.

Dead is dead!

But look what has been done with hearts and kidneys. Hearts and kidneys are tinkertoys!

I’m talking about the central nervous system!

But, sir

I am a scientist, not a philosopher!

You have more chance of reanimating this scalpel… than you have of mending a broken nervous system!

But your grandfather’s work?

My grandfather’s work was doodoo!

[Students Murmuring]

I am not interested in death!

The only thing that concerns me is the preservation of life!

Class… is, uh… dismissed.

Dr. Frankenstein.

That’s Fronkensteen.

[Groans]

My name is Gerhardt Falkstein.

I’ve traveled 5,000 miles… to bring you the will of your great-grandfather…

Baron Beaufort von Frankenstein.

Oh, my sweet darling.

Oh, my dearest love.

I’ll count the hours that you’re away.

Oh, darling, so will I.

Not on the lips.

What?

I’m going to that party at Nana and Nicky’s later.

I don’t want to smear my lipstick. You understand.

Oh.

Of course.

All aboard!

Oh, dear!

Well, I guess this is it.

Freddy, darling, how can I say in a few minutes… what it’s taken me a lifetime to understand?

Won’t you try?

All right.

You’ve got it, mister.

[Chuckles] I’m yoursall of me.

What else can I say?

My sweet love

The hair! The hair! Just been set.

Sorry. Sorry.

I hope you like old-fashioned weddings.

I prefer old-fashioned wedding nights.

Oh, you’re incorrigible!

Does that mean

[Spits]

You love me?

You bet your boots it does.

Oh, my only love.

Taffeta, darling.

Taffeta, sweetheart.

No, the dress is taffeta.

It wrinkles so easily.

Oh.

All aboard!

There’s that horrid man again.

Oh, hurry now. Before I make a fool of myself.

Ahh! The nails! Oh!

Sorry.

[Door Closing]

Goodbye, darling.

Goodbye, Freddy.

[Locomotive Chugging]

Darling! Ooh! Ohh!

[Laughs]

[Coughs]

[Coughing Continues]

Harry, he was at it again.

What do you want me to do about it?

Every day!

Let him! Let him!

New York next! Everybody out for New York!

[Couple Speaking In German] Transylvania nächste. Jeder aussteigen für Transylvania. Transylvania nächste. Jeder aussteigen für Transylvania. Pardon me, boy.

Is this the Transylvania Station?

Ja! Ja! Track 29!

Oh, can I give you a shine?

Uh, no thanks.

[Train Departing

] [Footsteps: One Foot Dragging]

[Odd Footsteps Continue]

[Man] Dr. Frankenstein?

[Thunder]

Fronkensteen.

You’re putting me on.

No. It’s pronounced “Fronkensteen.”

Do you also say “Froderick”?

No. Frederick.

Well, why isn’t it Froderick Fronkensteen?

It isn’t. It’s Frederick Fronkensteen.

I see.

You must be Igor.

No, it’s pronounced “eyegor”.

But they told me it was Igor.

Well, they were wrong then, weren’t they?

Uh, you were sent by Herr Falkstein weren’t you?

Yes. My grandfather used to work for your grandfather.

[Nervous Chuckle]

How nice.

Of course, the rates have gone up.

Of course. Of course.

I’m sure we’ll get along splendidly.

[Hollow Thump] Oh!

Sorry. I– Uh, you know, I don’t mean to embarrass you… but I’m a rather brilliant surgeon. Perhaps I could help you with that hump.

What hump?

Let’s go.

Allow me, master.

Oh, thanks very much.

Walk this way.

This way.

[Thunder] Think you’ll be more comfortable in the rear.

Oh.

[Woman] Oof!

What was that?

Oh, that’ll be Inga. Herr Falkstein thought you might need… a laboratory assistant temporarily.

Oh.

Oof!

Hello. Would you like to have a roll in the hay?

It’s fun.

♪ Roll, roll

roll in the hay ♪ ♪

Oh! Waaah!

[Thunder] Ohh.

Sometimes, I’m afraid of the lightning.

Just an atmospheric discharge.

Oh.

Nothing to be afraid of.

Mmm.

[Creature Howling] Werewolf!

Werewolf?

There.

What?

There wolf.

There castle.

Why are you talking that way?

I thought you wanted to.

No, I don’t want to.

Suit yourself. I’m easy.

[Thunder Rumbling] Well, there it is.

[Igor] Home.

What knockers!

Oh!

Thank you, Doctor.

Oh. That’s all right.

[Grunts]

There we are.

[Latch Rattling]

[Door Creaking]

I am Frau Blücher.

[Thunder]

[Whinnying] Steady!

Eh, how do you do?

I am Dr. Fronkensteen.

This is my assistant Inga.

May I present Frau Blücher?

[Horses Whinny] I wonder what’s got into them?

Your rooms have been prepared, Herr Doktor. If you will follow me.

Igor, bring the bags as soon as you’re finished, please?

Yes, master.

After you, Frau Blücher.

[Horses Whinny]

Blücher!

[Horses Whinny] Follow me, please.

Stay close to the candles.

The staircase can be treacherous.

[Blücher] This is your room. It was your grandfather Victor’s room. I see.

Well, there seem to be quite a few books.

This was Victor’s– The baron’s medical library.

And where is my grandfather’s private library?

I don’t know what you mean, sir. Well, these books are all very general.

Any doctor might have them in his study.

This is the only library I know of, Dr. “Frankenstone.”

[Together]

Fronkensteen.

Well, we’ll see.

Good night.

Would the doctor care for a brandy before retiring?

No.

Thank you.

Some warm milk… perhaps?

No. Thank you very much.

No, thanks.

Ovaltine?

Nothing!

Thank you.

I’m a little tired.

Then I will say good night.

Good night!

Good night, darling.

[Kisses]

Good night, Herr Doktor. Good night, Frau Blücher.

[Horses Whinny]

[Wind Swirling]

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Grunts]

I’m not a Frankenstein.

I am not a Frankenstein!

I’m a Fronkensteen!

Don’t give me that!

I don’t believe in fate!

And I won’t say it.

♪♪ [Violin]

All right, you win. You win. I give. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. I’ll say it. Destiny!

Destiny!

[Chantlike]

No escaping that for me!

Destiny, destiny!

No escaping that for me!

Destiny, destiny!

No escaping… no…

Dr. Fronkensteen, wake up.

What is it?

You were having a nachtmare.

What’s that strange music?

I have no idea. But it seems to be coming… from behind ze bookcase.

Behind ze bookcase.

Hand me that robe, would you, dear?

♪♪ [Violin: Faint]

You were right. It’s coming from behind this wall.

Where is it?

Where is it?

What?

There’s always a device.

If I could spot the triggering mechanism–

Hello!

[Chuckles]

♪♪ [Violin Continues]

It seems louder over here.

Hand me that candle, will you?

Put… the candle… back! All right, I think I have it figured out now. Take out the candle… and I’ll block the bookcase with my body.

[Crash]

[Muffled] Now, listen to me very carefully. Don’t put the candle back.

With all of your might… shove against the other side of the bookcase.

Is that perfectly clear? I think so.

Good girl.

Put… ze candle… back! Oh, look, Doctor.

A passageway!

Whatever that music is, it’s coming from down there.

I’d better take a look.

Let me come with you, doctor, please.

I don’t want to stay up here alone.

All right, then.

Close your robe and follow me.

Oh, Doctor! The candle.

Good thinking.

Let’s try this one.

♪♪ [Continues]

Stand back!

♪♪ [Continues]

♪♪ [Violin Grows Louder]

[Thunder]

[Inga Gasps]

[Squeaking] Don’t be frightened, dear.

It’s just a rat.

A filthy, slimy rat!

[Creaking]

[Frederick] Good Lord! Ohh!

♪ I ♪

Aaah!

♪ Ain’t got no body ♪

♪ And nobody cares for me ♪

♪ Yakka tak ta

yakka tak ta ha ♪ ♪

Igor!

Froderick!

How did you get here?

Through the dumbwaiter.

I heard the strangest music from the upstairs kitchen… and I just followed it down.

Call it… a hunch.

♪♪ [Imitates Rim Shot]

Zhere must have been someone else down here zhen.

It would seem that way… and there’s the only other door.

Wait, master.

It might be dangerous.

You go first.

Aren’t there any lights in this place?

Two nastylooking switches over here… but I’m not going to be the first.

[Scoffs]

[Buzzing]

Damn your eyes!

Too late.

Oh!

So this is where it all happened.

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Man’s Voice Echoing] Just think. A dead brain… ready to live again in a new body. Look. No blood. No decomposition. Just a few sutures. Throw the main switch!

[Man #2] Yes, master.

[Electricity Crackling]

What a filthy mess!

I don’t know… a little paint, a few flowers… a couple of throw pillows–

Well, it seems as if our mysterious violinist… has disap

“Disa” what?

Appeared.

Shh!

[Whispers] There is a light coming from behind that door.

Follow me.

[Gasps]

Doctor, look!

Well, this explains the music.

It’s still warm.

Hmm.

But who was playing it?

I don’t know.

But whoever it was just barely finished putting out his cigar. Such strange goings on.

What is this place?

Music room?

[Plunks Violin Strings] But there’s nothing here but books and papers!

Books and papers?

It is!

This is my grandfather’s private library!

I feel it!

Look!

Look at this!

[Frederick Panting] “Until, from the midst of this darkness… “a sudden light broke in upon me. “A light so brilliant and wondrous… “and yet so simple… “changed the poles from plus to minus… “and from minus to plus. [Panting] “I alone succeeded in discovering…

“the secret of bestowing life.

“Nay, even more…

“I myself…

“became capable of bestowing animation… upon lifeless matter!”

It… could… work!

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Birds Chirping]

Kipper?

Mmm. Thank you, Doctor.

[Clears Throat]

“As the minuteness of the parts formed a great hindrance to my speed…

“I resolved therefore to make the creature of a gigantic stature.” Of course!

That would simplify everything.

In other words, his veins, his feet, his hands, his organs… would all have to be increased in size.

Exactly.

He would have an enormous schwanstucker.

That goes without saying.

Woof!

He’s gonna be very popular.

So, then, what we’re aiming for… is a being approximately seven feet in height… with all features either congenitally… or artificially proportionate in size.

Something like… this?

Hello.

You’ve caught something there.

Crude, yes. Primitive, yes.

Perhaps even grotesque.

Yet, something inexplicable tells me… that this might be our man.

All right all right.

That’s good enough for the likes of him.

Get down, you fool!

Now!

[Spitting]

What a filthy job!

Could be worse.

How?

Could be raining.

[Thunder]

[Footsteps]

Quick!

[Constable] Need a hand?

Ah, no, thanks. Have one.

Thanks very much all the same.

Just a moment, sir! I know everyone in this neighborhood, but I’ve never seen yo ur face before.

Can you account for yourself?

Yes. I am Dr. Frederick Fronkensteen… newly arrived from America.

Oh, yes, sir. I was told you were here.

I’m Constable Henry, sir. Pleased to meet you.

[Stomps Foot] How very nice to meet you, Constable.

Why, you’re chilled to the bone, sir!

A nice warm fire would be the thing for you.

Yes. Yes.

A nip from the bottle wouldn’t be too bad, either, would it?

That’s the ticket! Yes.

Well, if you have everything in hand, sir, I’ll say good night.

Thank you very much, Constable.

At your service, sir.

Always.

Good night, Constable.

Good night, sir.

Oh, what an awesome sight.

What a profound and reverent night is this.

With such a specimen for a body… all we need now is an equally magnificent brain.

You know what to do?

I have a pretty good idea.

Good man.

Didn’t you– Didn’t you used to have that on the other side?

What?

Your, uh– Oh, never mind.

Do you have that name I gave you?

I have it written down.

“H. Delbruck.”

Hans Delbruck.

Ahh!

Aaah!

[Electricity Crackling]

[Inga] He’s hideous!

[Frederick] He’s beautiful. And he is… mine!

[Thunder] Hurry now. We’re fighting time and the elements.

Are you ready?

Are you sure this is how they did it?

Yes! Yes! It’s all written down in the notes!

Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can!

What’s the hurry?

There’s the possibility of electrocution!

Do you understand?

I say, there’s the possibility of electrocution!

Do you understand?

I understand.

I understand.

Why are you shouting?

Did you

Did you tie off the kites?

Of course.

Oh. All right. Good.

Uh, check the generator.

Yes, master.

Igor, release the safety valve on the main wheel.

Yes, master.

[Thunder Rumbling]

Can you imagine the brain of Hans Delbruck in this body?

Oh, Frederick.

This is the moment.

Well, dear… are you ready?

Yes, Doctor.

Elevate me.

Now? Right here?

Yes. Yes. Raise the platform.

Oh, the platform!

Oh, that! Ja! Yes.

From that fateful day… when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea… and shouted to the cold stars…

“I am man”… our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our own mortality.

But tonight… we shall hurl the gauntlet of science… into the frightful face of death itself!

[Thunder]

Tonight… we shall ascend into the heavens.

We shall mock the earthquake.

We shall command the thunders! And penetrate… into the very womb… of impervious nature… herself!

[Thunder Rumbling]

[Wind Whistling]

When I give the word, throw the first switch!

You’ve got it, master.

Get ready!

Get set!

Go!

[Crackling]

Throw the second switch!

[Crackling Continues]

Throw the third switch!

Not the third switch.

Throw it, I say!

Throw it!

Life!

Life! Do you hear me?

Give my creation… life!

Turn everything off and bring me down!

[Machinery Clattering]

[Current Whining Down]

[Frederick Grunting]

[Grunting]

Nothing.

Oh, Doctor, I’m sor

No, no.

Be of good cheer.

If science teaches us anything… it teaches us to accept our failures… as well as our successes… with quiet… dignity… and grace.

Son of a bitch bastard!

I’ll get you for this!

What did you do to me?

What did you do to me?

Stop it, Doctor, stop it!

You’ll kill him!

[Frustrated Yelling]

[Screams]

I don’t want to live!

I do not want to live!

[Sobbing]

Quiet dignity and grace.

[Gasps]

Ohh, Mama!

Oh, tosh!

This man is different, I tell you.

You can see that after you talk to him for five minutes!

Yes?

He’s a Frankenstein!

And they’re all alike!

[Agreeing Murmurs]

It’s in their blood. They can’t help it.

All those scientists, they’re all alike!

They say they’re working for us… but what they really want is to rule the world!

[Shouting Agreement]

[Gavel Banging]

That’s enough now!

I will not have this meeting become a free-for-all.

These are serious charges, you’re making… and all the more painful to us, your elders… because we still have nightmares from five times before.

Now, we haven’t heard from the one man… most qualified to judge the situation fairly.

[Murmuring]

Inspector Kemp.

Will you talk to us, please?

[Ratcheting Noises]

[Blows]

[Ratcheting Noises]

[Sizzles]

A riot is an ugly thing…

und once you get one started… there is little chance of stopping it… short of bloodshed.

I think… before we go around killing people… we had better make damn sure… of our evidence.

Und

[Fogs Monocle Lens]

We had better confirm the fact… that young Frankenstein is indeed… following in his grandfather’s “footschtops”!

[All] What?

Following in his grandfather’s footschtops, footschtops!

Oh!

Oh! Footsteps!

I think… what is in order… is for me to pay a little visit… on the good doctor…

und to have a nice, quiet chat.

[Frederick]

Reputation.

Reputation.

[Inga] Oh, Doctor, you mustn’t do this to yourself.

You’ve got to stop thinking about it.

Why, look. You haven’t even touched your food.

There!

Now I’ve touched it.

Happy?

You know, I’ll never forget my old dad.

When these things would happen to him… the things he’d say to me.

What did he say?

“What the hell are you doing in the bathroom day and night?

Why don’t you get out of there and give someone else a chance?”

Oh, maybe it’s better this way.

The poor, lifeless hulk.

Maybe it is better off dead.

[Groaning]

[Bellowing]

What is this?

Schwartzwalder kirsch torte.

[Monster] Mmmmm!

Oh, do you like it?

I’m not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.

Who are you talking to?

To you.

You just made a yummy sound, so I thought you liked the dessert.

I didn’t make a yummy sound.

I just asked you what it is.

But you did.

I just heard it.

It wasn’t me.

It wasn’t me.

Well, now, look here. If it wasn’t you, and it wasn’t you–

[Monster] Mmmmm!

Mmmmm.

[Gasps] Alive!

It’s alive!

It’s alive!

Stand back.

Hello there.

I’m going to set you free.

Mmmmm.

Is the sedative ready?

[Inga] Yes, Doctor. Mmmmm.

I want you… to sit up.

[Growls]

[Low Growl]

Stand… on your feet.

[Whimpering]

Mmmmm.

You can do it.

Mmmmm!

[Growls]

Now… walk!

Oh, Doctor, I’m frightened.

Don’t worry.

Good!

Good!

[Shrieks]

[Gasps]

What is it? What’s the matter?

Quick, give him the–

Quick, give him the

[Bellowing] What?

Give him the what?

[Gasps]

Three syllables.

First syllable. Sounds like

Head!

Uh, sounds like head!

Bed! Uh, sed!

Sed!

Sed! Sed!

Second syllable.

Little word.

Zis, zat, zhe

Uh.

Oh!

Seda

Seda

Dirty word! He said a dirty word!

Ooh, sounds like, uh, to give!

Sedagive!

Give him a sedagive!

Oh! Tive!

Tive! Tive! Sedative!

On the nosey!

Ooh!

[Bellowing]

[Frederick Panting]

“Sedagive”?

Oh, Frederick, are you all right?

Yes.

Would you excuse me for one minute, dear?

Oh, of course, doctor.

Igor.

[Clears Throat] May I speak to you for a moment?

Of course.

Sit down, won’t you?

Thank you.

No, no! Up here.

All right. Thank you.

Now, that brain that you gave me… was it Hans Delbruck’s?

No.

Ah! Good.

Uh, would you mind telling me… whose brain…

I did put in?

And you won’t be angry?

I will not be angry.

“Abby” someone.

“Abby someone”?

Abby who?

“Abby normal.”

“Abby normal”.

I’m almost sure that was the name.

[Chuckles] Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain… into a 71/2footlong…

54inchwide… gorilla?

Is that what you’re telling me?

Quick! Quick, give him the–

What? Three syllables?

Yes?

[Pounding] I wonder who that could be at this hour?

Inga, quick!

See who that is.

You, put that thing… back on the operating table… and strap him down tightly!

Where are you going?

To wash up. I’ve got to look normal.

We’ve all of us got to behave normally.

Ha! Monsters!

Excellent shot.

This is the 20th century, Kemp.

Monsters are passé, like ghosts and goblins.

Not to the good people of this village…

Herr Doktor. To them, he is a very real thing.

Especially when there is a Frankenstein… residing in this house.

[Thunk-Thunk Thunk-Thunk-Thunk] Nice grouping.

Thank you.

I wouldn’t think an intelligent fellow like you… would fall for this superstitious rot.

It is not superstition that worries me, Herr Doktor… but genes und chromosomes.

Rubbish!

Well, you might say, but this is Transylvania… und you are a Frankenstein. You, uh, seem unusually upset by this discussion.

Not in the least.

[Cat Screeches]

I find it extremely amusing, that’s all.

[Glass Shattering] Well, this was fun.

And now, if you don’t mind, inspector, I’m a little bit tired.

Well, then I may give the villagers… your complete assurance… that you have no interest whatsoever… in carrying on your grandfather’s work?

[Monster] Mmmmm! May I take that for a yes?

Mmmmm.

Very well.

I think you can find the way out by yourself, can’t you?

Of course.

Until we meet again, Herr Baron. Yes, drop by any time.

We are always open.

[Heels Click]

[Muttering]

[Engine Running]

[Creaking]

Oh, Victor.

Victor!

We have done it!

I’m going to set you free. Would you like that, meine schatze kopf? Mmmmm.

[Sniffles, Sobs]

They wanted to hurt you… but I’m going to help you.

Thank heavens that’s over with.

Frau Blücher!

[Horse Whinnies]

Stop! Don’t come closer!

[Frederick] What are you doing?

I’m going to set him free!

No! No, you mustn’t!

Yes! [Frederick] Are you insane? He’ll kill you!

No, he won’t. Not this one. He is as gentle as a lamb.

[Roars]

Stand back! Stand back, for the love of God!

He has a rotten brain!

It’s not rotten!

It’s a good brain!

It’s rotten, I tell you!

Rotten!

Ixnay on the ottenray.

[Gasps] I am not afraid. I know what he likes.

Agggh!

♪♪ [Violin]

[Cooing]

[Frederick] That music!

[Frau Blücher] Yes, it’s in your blood. It’s in the blood of all Frankensteins. It reaches the soul when words are useless.

Your grandfather used to play it to the creature he was making.

Then it was you all the time!

Yes!

You played that music in the middle of the night!

Yes!

To get us into the laboratory!

Yes!

That was your cigar smoldering in the ashtray!

Yes!

And it was you who left my grandfather’s book out for me to find!

Yes!

So that I would

Yes!

Then you and Victor were–

Yes! Yes! Say it!

He was my boyfriend!

[Screaming]

Agggh! Agggh!

Come back!

Agggh! Agggh!

Come back!

For the love of God, come back!

You’ll never catch him now! He’s free!

Do you hear?

Free!

Agggh!

[Thunder]

Agggh!

Gone. Gone!

We’ve got to find him, do you understand?

We’ve got to find him before he kills someone!

What have I done?

Oh, God in heaven, what have I done?

[Birds Chirping]

♪ Oh, I love my pretty little flower ♪

♪ Oh, I love

my pretty little flower ♪

♪ Oh, I love my flower ♪ ♪

Mmmmm.

When monster is loose, boards must be tight.

Ahhh. There.

Ohhh. Thank God you put Helga to bed.

With all this monster business, I take no chances.

I remember the last time.

But, Papa, I told you that I was turning the rostbraten. Don’t you remember?

I asked you to put Helga to– You– Now throw a kiss and say bye-bye.

Mmmmmm.

Oh, dear.

Nothing left.

What shall we throw in now?

Maybe she was in the bathroom when you looked.

But I didn’t look upstairs.

I thought you did.

You didn’t look upstairs?

Sit down.

Sit down!

[Both Sigh]

♪♪ [Violin Playing On Gramophone]

A visitor is all I ask.

A temporary companion to help me pass a few short hours in my lonely life.

[Bell Rings]

Agggh!

Thank you, Lord!

Thank you!

[Music Stops]

Mmmmm.

Oh, no, no, no. No. Don’t speak.

Don’t speak.

Don’t say a word.

Oh, my joy and my prize from heaven.

Well, you must’ve been the tallest in your class.

My name is Harold, and I live here all alone.

What’s your name?

Mmmmm.

I didn’t get that.

Mmmmm.

“Mmmmm.” Oh!

Oh. Forgive me.

I didn’t realize you were mute.

You see how heaven plans?

Me, a poor blind man, and you-you, a mute.

An incredibly big mute.

Ah, but your hand is frozen, my child.

How does a nice bowl of soup sound to you, huh?

Mmmmm.

[Chuckles] Yes, well, I know what it means to be cold and hungry.

Yes. And-And how much it means… to have some kindness from a stranger.

Are you ready for your soup?

Mmmmm.

Hold out your bowl then.

Oh, my friend, my friend.

You don’t know what your visit means to me… how long I’ve waited for the pleasure of another human being.

Sometimes in our preoccupation with worldly matters…

[Groans]

[Whimpers]

We tend to forget the simple pleasures

[Groans]

The basis for true happiness.

Yes, yes, yes.

Ohhh.

And now a little wine with your soup, huh?

Mmmmm.

Good. Good. Good.

Mmmmm.

Mmmmm. Mmmmm.

Uhhuh. Uhhuh.

Mmmmm, mmmmm, mmmmm.

Good. Good. Yes, sir.

Mmmmm.

Wait! A toast.

A toast to–

Yes!

To long friendship.

How hungry you must have been.

Now for a little surprise.

For a special occasion, I’ve been saving… cigars.

Mmmmm?

Take one.

Mmmmm!

What?

Mmmmm!

No. No, no. Fire is good.

Mmmmm!

Fire is good. Yes.

Fire-Fire is our friend. Yes.

I’ll show you.

I’ll show you.

Mmmmm, mmmmm.

Mmmmm, mmmmm. Mmmmm.

You see? You see?

Yeah.

Do you have your cigar?

Let me see.

Let me see.

All right.

All right. Now-now-now.

Just hold it right there now.

Don’t inhale until the tip glows.

Waaaugh!

Agggh! Mmmmm!

What–

Agggh! Agggh!

Wait!

Wait!

Where are you going?

I was going to make espresso.

Agggh!

♪♪ [Violin]

♪ ♪ [Continues]

Now!

Agggh! Agggh!

Help me!

Quick! The sedative!

Agggh! Agggh!

[Grunting]

Ah!

Agggh! Agggh!

[Cries Subside]

[Grunting] He’s out!

I know.

I’m going in there.

Bring me that candle.

No!

No!

Yes!

Love is the only thing… that can save this poor creature.

And I am going to convince him that he is loved… even at the cost of my own life.

No matter what you hear in there… no matter how cruelly I beg you… no matter how terribly I may scream… do not open this door… or you will undo everything I’ve worked for.

Do you understand?

Do not open this door!

Yes, Doctor.

Nice working with you.

[Clatter]

[Monster Moans] Agggh!

Mmmmm.

Let me out.

Let me out of here.

Get me the hell out of here.

What’s the matter with you people? I was joking! Don’t you know a joke when you hear one?

Ha ha ha ha!

[Pounding]

Jesus Christ! Get me out of here! Open this goddamn door or I’ll kick your rotten heads in!

[Gasps]

Mommy!

Nein! Agggh!

[Mutters, Chuckles]

Hello, handsome!

You’re a good-looking fellow.

Do you know that?

People laugh at you. People hate you. But why do they hate you?

Because they are jealous!

[Snarls] Look at that boyish face.

Look at that sweet smile.

Do you wanna talk about physical strength?

Do you want to talk about sheer muscle?

Do you want to talk about the Olympian ideal?

You are a god!

Mmmmm.

And listen to me. You are not evil. You… are… good!

[Sobbing]

Ohhh.

This is a nice boy.

This is a good boy.

This is a mother’s angel.

And I want the world to know… once and for all and without any shame… that we love him!

[Sobbing Continues]

Ohhh.

I’m going to teach you.

I’m going to show you how to walk… how to speak, how to move, how to think.

Together, you and I… are going to make… the greatest single contribution to science… since the creation of fire!

Dr. Fronkensteen, are you all right?

My name… is Frankenstein!

[Noisy Chattering]

[Chattering Continues]

[Chattering Subsides] Distinguished colleagues… ladies and gentlemen… tonight it is my great privilege of introducing to you… a man whose family name was once both famous… and infamous.

And now, may I present to you…

Dr. Baron Frederick von Frankenstein.

[Man Applauding Onstage]

My fellow scienti–

[Person Hisses] Tists… and neurosurgeons… ladies and gentlemen.

A few short weeks ago, coming from a background… believe me, as conservative and traditionally grounded in scientific fact as any of you…

I began an experiment in–

Incredulous as it may sound–

The reanimation of dead tissue.

[Laughter]

What I have to offer you… might possibly be… the gateway to immortality.

[Murmuring]

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present… for your intellectual and philosophical pleasure…

The Creature!

[Women Screaming]

[Commotion]

Please!

[Screaming Continues]

Remain in your seats, I beg you! We are not children here.

We are scientists!

I assure you there is nothing to fear.

[Commotion Subsides] First, may I offer for your consideration… a neurological demonstration… of the primary cerebellar functions–

Balance… and coordination.

Walk heel-to-toe.

[Audience Gasps]

[Applause]

Backwards!

Ladies and gentlemen, up until now… you’ve seen the creature perform the simple mechanics of motor activity.

But for what you’re about to see next… we must enter quietly into the realm of genius.

[Murmuring]

Ladies and gentlemen… mesdames and messieurs… damen und herren… from what was once an inarticulate mass… of lifeless tissues… may I now present a cultured, sophisticated… man-about-town.

Hit it!

♪♪ [Big Band]

♪ If you’re blue ♪

♪ And you don’t know

where to go to ♪

♪ Why don’t you go

where fashion sits ♪

♪ Mmmmin’,

mm mmm Ritz ♪

♪ Different types

who wear a day coat ♪

♪ Pants with stripes

or cutaway coat ♪

♪ Perfect fits ♪

♪ Mmmmin’

mm mmm Ritz ♪

♪ Dressed up like

a million-dollar trooper ♪

♪ Tryin’ mighty hard

to look like Gary Cooper ♪

♪ Ooper dooper ♪

♪ Come let’s mix

where Rockefellers ♪

♪ Walk with sticks

or umbrellers ♪

♪ In their mitts ♪

♪ Mmmmin’

mm mmm Ritz ♪ ♪

[Mouthing Words]

[Applause, Cheering] Agggh!

[Screaming]

[Music Stops]

[Murmuring]

It’s nothing, nothing, I tell you.

Five, six, seven, eight.

[No Music]

For God’s sake. Come on.

Are you trying to make me look like a fool?

[Booing]

Please, I beg you! For safety’s sake, don’t humiliate him!

[Booing Continues]

Arrgh!

Come back! Do you understand me?

I will not let you destroy my work!

As your creator, I command you to come back!

Agggh!

Arrgh! Arrgh! Arrgh!

[Women Screaming]

[Commotion]

[Villagers Shouting]

Chained-Chained like a beast in a cage.

Oh, Doctor, I feel so terrible.

There’s only one answer.

If I could find a way to equalize the imbalance in his cerebral spinal fluid… why, he’d be as right as rain.

But how? How?

Before it’s too late.

Oh, Frederick, if only there was some way I could…

Mmm.

…relieve this torture you are going through.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

If there was some way I could help to…

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

relieve the tension.

If there was just some way…

I could give you a little peace.

Doctor, I have– Doctor?

What is it? Doctor?

Where are you?

[Gasps]

I’m sorry, Doctor. This cable came while you were gone.

I thought I told you never to interrupt me while I’m working!

I’m sorry, Doctor.

I thought this was an emergency.

You see, your fiancée will be arriving any second.

What? Elizabeth?

Here tonight?

Yes. I will go prepare her room at once.

I suggest you put on a tie.

Darling!

Darling!

Surprised?

Surprised.

Love me?

Love you.

Well, let’s turn in.

Darling!

It’s been a long day. I’m sure you’re very tired.

I’ll just pay the driver.

Darling!

What?

Surprised?

I, uh–

Yes.

Love me?

Well

Well, let’s turn in.

Ohhh!

[Frederick] Darling!

Yes?

Say nothing. Act casual.

Ready?

Yes.

I think–

Yes.

I am a bit tired after all.

I’d like you to meet my assistants, Inga and Igor.

How do you do?

How do you do?

This is my “financier” Elizabeth.

Oh, I’m so happy to meet you at last.

Uh, “financée.”

Excuse me, darling.

What is it exactly that you do do?

Uh, well, I assist Dr. Frankenstein in the laboratory.

We have intellectual discussions und we–

As a matter of fact, we were just having one as you were driving up.

[Jabbering]

What?

What?

Igor, would you give me a hand with the bags?

“Soitainly.”

You take the blonde, I’ll take the one in the turban.

Ohhh.

Grrr! Grrr! Grrrrr!

Ruff! Oof!

[Whimpers]

Stop that. I’m talking about the luggage.

Yes, master.

Ladies, this way.

It’s gonna be a long night. If you need any help with the girls, please don’t–

Get in there!

[Mutters]

Arrgh!

[Man Cackles] You settle down now. ‘Cause we’re gonna be pals.

Right?

Grrr.

Nice and cozy.

Just like old friends.

[Chuckles]

[Exhales Deeply]

[Whimpers]

What’s the matter?

You’re afraid of this little fire?

Mmmmm!

This can’t hurt you.

See? [Cackles]

Mmmmm!

Oh, some monster you are.

See?

Mama was right.

Little boys ain’t supposed to play with fire.

Mmmmm!

Is they?

‘Cause they might get hurt!

Agggh!

[Gasping, Gagging]

[Crowd Shouting] Halt!

Up.

A riot is an ugly thing…

und I think that it is just about time that we had one!

[Cheering]

Kill the monster!

As heaven is my witness–

Up–

He will curse the day… that he was born a Frankenstein!

[All]

What?

I said he will curse the day that he was born a Frankenstein.

[Cheering]

Loose!

He’s broken loose.

Do you know what that means?

Darling, you mustn’t worry so.

I suppose you’re right.

Of course I am.

Now come along like a good boy.

What would I do without you?

Is your room just down the hall… in case I get the frights during the night?

Well, yes, but I thought perhaps tonight… under the circumstances, I might stay here with you.

[Gasps] Would you want me like this, now… so soon before our wedding… so near we can almost touch it?

Yes!

Whoa! Whoa, boy!

Or-or… to wait just a little while longer… when I can give myself to you without hesitation… when I can be totally and unashamedly and legally yours?

That’s a tough choice.

You’re a tough guy.

[Lips Smack]

I suppose you’re right.

Of course I am. I always am.

Now give me a kiss and say good night.

No tongues.

[Giggles]

Good night, darling.

Mmhmm.

Good night, sweetheart.

Mmhmm.

I love you.

[Mutters] I love you too.

You love me?

Mmhmm. I love you a lot.

I love you, honey.

[Giggles] Sweet dreams, darling.

Sweet dreams.

Good night. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.

Mmhmm.

[Breathing Heavily] Arrgh!

♪ He has loosed the fateful lightning ♪

♪ Of his terrible swift sword ♪

♪ His truth is marching on ♪

♪ Dayat da da da da da ♪

♪ Glory, glory hallelujah ♪

♪ Glory, glory, hallelujah Glo– ♪♪

[Elizabeth Screams]

[Noisy Commotion]

[Barking]

[Dogs Barking In Distance]

Mmmmm.

[Barking Fades A way]

[Clack]

Where am I?

Ohhh!

Who are you?

What-What do you want?

What are you going to do to me?

Mmmmm.

Calm down.

I’m not afraid of you.

How much do you want to let me go?

My father’s very rich.

You would have the world at your fingertips.

Listen, I have to be back by 11:30. I’m expecting a very important call.

Mmmmm.

Speak! Speak! Why don’t you speak?

[Breathing Heavily]

What are you doing?

Oh! Oh, you can’t be serious.

Mmmmm.

I’m a VI

[Gasps]

Oh, my God.

Woof.

Mmmm.

I’m engaged.

And once he–

But I didn’t. It was never–

All we–

Ah! Oh, myahhh! Ahhh!

[Gasps]

♪ Oh, sweet mystery

of life ♪

♪ At last

I’ve found you ♪

[Grunting]

♪ Oh, at last I know ♪

♪ The secret of your arms ♪ ♪

Shh!

Penny for your thoughts.

Mmmmm!

[Giggles] You’re incorrigible!

Aren’t you?

Mmmmm.

You little zipper neck.

Mmmmm!

Oh, all right.

Seven has always been my lucky number.

Come over here, you hot monster.

Mmmm!

♪♪ [Violin]

Mm?

What is it?

What’s the matter?

Mm.

Is it that music?

It’s probably just from some nearby cottage.

Nothing to worry about.

Where are you going? Where–

Oh, you men are all alike!

Seven or eight quick ones and you’re off with the boys to boast and brag!

You better keep your mouth shut!

Oh, I think I love him.

[Sighs]

♪ ♪ [Violin]

♪ ♪ [Horn]

♪♪ [Violin Continues]

[Inga Gasps] Look! He’s coming back! Oh, look! Your music! Oh, keep playing!

It’s the music!

It’s the music that’s bringing him back!

♪♪ [Violin Continues]

Come on.

Come. Come on.

Come on!

Come. Oh!

Come! Come on!

You can do it!

Come! Come on!

You can do it!

Oh.

Agggh!

Don’t touch him!

He wants to do it by himself!

[Grunting]

You can do it! You can do it! Please, my creation! Agggggh!

Quick! Catch him!

Ohhh!

Have the preparations been made for the transference?

Yes, Doctor.

Are you sure you want to go through with this?

It’s the only thing that can save him now.

You realize you’re risking both your lives?

Yes.

[Electricity Crackling]

Switching off!

[Clang]

How will I know when they are done?

The doctor said to allow 15 minutes–

Not one second more or less.

[Noisy Commotion]

How long now?

Two more minutes. Ein, zwei, drei!

[Cheers]

Ein, zwei, drei!

[Cheers] Ein, zwei, drei! Aaah!

[Angry Shouting]

[Angry Shouting]

What’s that noise?

I don’t know.

What time is it?

Almost time.

Oh, my God!

It’s the villagers!

No! No! Please! Just another seven seconds!

No! No! No!

[Man] Kill him! No! No! No!

Put that man down!

It’s the monster!

Nah, can’t be!

It is.

I said put that man down!

Und just who do you think you are… that you order these people about?

I am The Monster!

Ja. I see that you are The Monster.

As long as I can remember, people have hated me.

They looked at my face and my body… and they ran away in horror.

In my loneliness, I decided that… if I could not inspire love, which was my deepest hope… I would instead cause fear!

I live… because this poor half-crazed genius…

has given me life. He alone held an image of me as something beautiful. And then… when it would have been easy enough to stay out of danger… he used his own body as a guinea pig… to give me a calmer brain… and a somewhat more… sophisticated way of expressing myself.

Well, this is, of course, an entirely different situation.

As the leader of this community… may I be the first… to offer you my hand in friendship?

Oh, Victor.

Thank you.

You are entirely welcome.

Und now let us all go to my house… for a little sponge cake und a little wine!

[Pop]

Und shit!

To the lumberyard!

[Cheers]

♪♪ [Humming “Wedding March”]

Hello, Mrs. Frankenstein.

Mrs. Frankenstein.

What a beautiful name!

Oh, darling.

Hold on to your hat.

What?

I’ll be right back.

W-w-w-wow!

W-w-w-w-wow!

[Chuckles]

♪ ♪ [Humming “Wedding March”]

I’m holding on to it, darling.

Just a few more seconds! Boy.

♪ ♪ [Humming “Wedding March”]

[Inhales Deeply]

♪♪ [Inga Humming Violin Tune]

♪♪ [Continues Humming Tune]

♪♪ [Elizabeth Humming “Battle Hymn Of The Republic”]

Honey! Honey, I hope you didn’t find Daddy’s little party too boring. He did it just for you and he meant so well.

Say you liked it.

Mmhmm.

Honey, did you see? I put a special hamper in the bathroom just for your shirts. And the other one is just for socks and poopoo undies. Here I come.

[Hisses]

[Snorts]

♪ ♪ [Imitating Burlesque Theme]

Tsss!

Mmmmmmmm.

Mmmmm.

Mmmmm!

Mmmmm!

The feeling is mutual.

You know, it’s a puzzlement.

There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you about that operation.

You know, in the transference part… the monster got part of your wonderful brain.

But what did you ever get from him?

Mmmmmmmm!

[Inga] No! Ohhh! I don’t believe-ohhh! Ahhh! Ohhh! Ohhh!

♪ Oh, sweet mystery of life ♪

♪ At last I’ve found you ♪

♪♪ [Trombone: “Oh, Sweet Mystery Of Life At Last I’ve Found You”]

♪♪ [Orchestra Joins in]

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