Triangle of Sadness (2022)
Genre: Satire, Dark Comedy, Drama
Director: Ruben Östlund
Writers: Ruben Östlund
Stars: Harris Dickinson, Charlbi Dean, Woody Harrelson
Synopsis: A celebrity fashion-model couple boards a luxury cruise filled with the ultra-wealthy, but when disaster strikes and the ship sinks, they find themselves stranded on a remote island. Class divisions quickly dissolve as survival becomes the ultimate status.
* * *
[Fingers clicking]
[Man speaks Swedish]
So, what are the most important aspects of being a male model?
I would say: look good.
[Laughing]
Yes? And?
Er, that’s it.
[Man] And walk!
Look good and walk? But not at the same time, right?
Most of the times at the same time.
Really? Can you do that?
Er, sure.
Please show us! Yes, yes, go ahead.
[Crowd] Whoo! Yeah!
Thank you. Next!
Okay… Hello, hello, hello.
What do we have here?
Hey, there.
What’s up, man?
So, I want to know, did your parents support you in being a male model?
All the way, right from the start.
Even your father?
Even my father, yeah. Why?
He wanted you to enter this industry where you earn only 1/3 of the women, where you constantly have to maneuver homosexual men who want to sleep with you?
[She speaks Swedish]
‘I’m Lewis Taylor, and I’m standing here with my very best friend…’
What was your name?
Er, Carl.
My best friend Carl!
How are you today, Carl?
Yeah, good, good.
So, is this runway casting for a grumpy brand or a smiley brand?
Er, I don’t know, man. I don’t know.
Well, smiley brands are the cheap ones, and the more expensive the brand gets, you start to look down on your consumer.
Like, if you want to be a part of this “von oben” one-man in-crowd, you have to show us some serious cash.
So it’s a grumpy brand, yeah?
Congratulations! I’m so happy for you!
And if you get the job, you will get to wear exclusive clothing, and look down on your consumer.
Okay, Carl. Show us some of that grumpy look.
No, no…
Yeah, let’s go!
Come on, Carl! You can do it.
Yes! “Don’t you dare talk to me!
“I’m an Aryan ‘UÃœbermensch’, too obsessed with the image of myself to be involved with anything that doesn’t fit my stylized image of the world.”
Wait…
“Suddenly, I’m dressed in something way less expensive.
“It’s H&M!”
Everybody, come together!
“You can too be a part of this happy, smiling group of mixed skin colors, for not that much money! ♪ Friendship, ♪ everyonesequal, #happylife, #stopclimatechange.”
Oh, no! Oh! I am so sorry, darling.
I didn’t see that it was Balenciaga you’re wearing.
“We are strong and tough and unapproachable!”
Show me that Balenciaga look!
Oh, I’m sorry, I think it’s back to H&M again!
“Yeah! We’re just kidding. We’re so cheap, we’re so happy!”
Everybody, come closer together!
Balenciaga is back! Ooh, fiercer than ever!
“We are stone cold. Yes! Oh, my God, get away from us!”
H&M is here again!
Balenciaga!
And H&M!
Balenciaga!
And H&M!
Oh, everybody, give it up for these guys!
[Applause and cheering]
Fabulous! Fabulous, Carl!
Here…
Hi.
[Man] Hello.
How are you guys doing?
Oh, it’s you?
[Carl] Yeah.
[Man 2] You can hardly tell it’s the same guy.
[Man] How old is this perfume campaign?
[Carl] When was it? Er, three years ago.
And then maybe a year after that.
[Man] Okay…
So you do castings again, then?
Yeah.
[Woman] Could you do a little walk for us?
Er… Just quick. No smiling. No stopping.
Yeah.
One more time.
Okay.
Okay…
Today, fashion is not just about surface. It’s about the inside.
Think about a tune that you like when you walk.
Look at me.
[♪ Humming THE BEE GEES: “Stayin’ Alive”]
Can you do that?
Yeah, so like a rhythm?
Yeah. Go!
[Whispers in Swedish]
Can you relax your Triangle of Sadness?
It’s like between your eyebrows here.
Okay.
A little bit more…
Okay. And open your mouth so you look a little bit more available.
Okay, not that much. A little bit less.
Okay. Thank you very much.
[Man] Thank you.
Thanks.
Next, please!
[Woman] Hi!
Hi.
[♪ M.I.A.: “Born Free”]
♪ Yeah, man-made powers, Stood like a tower
♪ Higher and higher, hello
♪ And the higher you go, you feel lower, oh
♪ I… was born free, born free
♪ Born free
[Cameras clicking]
[Conversation in Swedish]
Where can I sit?
Sorry?
I don’t have a seat now.
Can you just…? There’s a seat.
Just right up there. Yeah. Just there.
[♪ LINNEA OLSSON: “The Ocean”]
[Applause]
[♪ ASLE: “Thank You [Asle Disco Bias Remix Edit]”]
[Crowd] Yaya! Yaya!
[Man] Yaya, look here. Look here, Yaya!
[Man] Yaya!
[Woman] Yaya!
[♪ BOCCHERINI: “String Quintet in E Major, OP.11 No.5”]
[Waiter] Thank you, sir.
[Tapping on phone]
[Yaya] Thank you, honey.
That’s so sweet of you.
Do you like the place?
A little stuffy?
A little stuffy.
[Carl clears throat]
[Giggles] What?
I don’t know, you looked like you were thinking there.
No, I’m not. I’m not.
Cool.
I can tell there’s something’s wrong. Just talk to me, what is it?
No, it’s just…
When you say…
When you say, “Thank you, honey” like that… You don’t really give me an option but to pay. It was just an observation. Just something I’ve noticed.
[Laughs]
We can split the bill if you like.
No, no…
I can whip out a calculator…
No, no, okay.
How many glasses of wine did you have?
Oh, sure…
You had, like, three more.
That’s not what I mean.
Yeah, I think it all evens out, you know.
[Carl] Hmm…
Don’t you remember last night? You said you were gonna… You said you were gonna pay for food today. At the end of the meal, you said, “Thanks. Tomorrow I’ll get it.”
Sure, but then you picked up the bill, and I thought you wanted to pay, so I said, “Thank you, honey.”
But it was there for such a long time…
I didn’t see it.
You didn’t see it?
I, er…
No, I didn’t. I didn’t see it.
Or I didn’t notice it. We were just having a nice dinner.
You didn’t see the bill when it got put on the table?
No, I didn’t, Carl.
So the waiter came in, and put it in the middle of the table just there.
And you didn’t happen to see it?
Oh, my God!
What? I’m asking you seriously now, because…
Wow…
What’s… What’s “wow”?
[Chair moves]
[Yaya sighs heavily]
What are you doing?
No, no, no. Just don’t… Wait. Can you sit down? Sit down.
I’m just trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong!
Seriously?
Calm down. Please, just sit down.
You’re fighting over money!
No! That’s not what’s…
That’s literally what’s happening.
I’m just pointing out the fact that…
Why are you so obsessed with money?
I’m not obsessed.
Can you just sit down, please? I’m not obsessed with money.
It was just an observation from yesterday. Can you please sit down?
No, no, no… What are you doing?
It’s fine.
Well, you can’t pay now, that’s ridiculous.
Don’t, Carl.
What are you doing?
Let go.
No, no, no… I’m paying the bill.
That’s not why I said it.
[Bangs table]
Sorry.
[Waiter] Are we enjoying ourselves?
Yes, thanks, yeah. Yaya…
[Waiter] Thank you very much.
[Yaya] Thank you.
Now I feel bad.
Why? I make more money than you.
[Footsteps approach]
[Waiter] Excuse me. Your card didn’t work.
Do you have another one, maybe?
Can you try it again, please?
[Waiter] I tried it twice.
[Mutters]
I’m sorry, we don’t accept that one.
[Carl] Just take this one.
Carl! Just give me a second. Just wait!
[Carl] Let me pay.
Just wait!
[Coins tumbling]
It’s fine, you don’t have enough cash. Take that.
You accept that one, yeah?
Yes.
Thank you.
Thanks so much.
[Mutters]
Thank you.
[Yaya’s phone beeps]
[Tapping phone keyboard]
I do think it’s quite crazy how it’s such a hard thing to talk about.
Money.
It’s such a touchy subject. Don’t you think?
Yeah, I think it’s un-sexy to talk about money.
Okay, but then why is that?
I don’t know, it’s just not sexy.
Well, you don’t think it’s because it’s so tied to gender roles?
Fuckin’ hell, the menu in the restaurant didn’t even have prices for you.
That’s not fair, Carl.
I’m always paying.
No, no, no, let’s take you out of it here.
And just talk about women in general.
I’m a generous person, Carl. Ask any of my friends.
Sure you’re generous, but…
But?
When it comes to you and me, we’re dealing with roles that I hate.
I don’t want to be the man, whilst you’re the woman, I want us to be best friends.
I don’t wanna sleep with my best friend.
No, that’s not…
You don’t understand what I’m trying to say. I mean…
We shouldn’t just slip into the stereotypical gender-based roles that everyone else seems to be doing.
I want us to be equal.
[Car door closes]
[Carl sighs heavily]
[Driver] Excuse me?
You have to fight.
I’m sorry, what?
If you love her, you have to fight for her.
I’ve been there, I know.
If you don’t fight, you’re gonna be her slave.
The thing is, Yaya, I like to take you for dinner. I enjoy paying for you.
But there comes a point where I do feel used.
I use you?
Well, I’m just referring to my feelings now, but sure, if we…
No, no. Just wait. If we go back the last week or so, then, yeah, maybe there is a point…
Are you being serious?
I got you this shirt. I invited you for dinner.
You’re staying at my hotel.
Well, you got this shirt for free.
And actually you didn’t pay for dinner.
That’s because my card didn’t work.
There’s a cash machine in the lobby. I’ll pay you back every last cent…
It’s okay.
Carl, I always intended to pay you back.
I didn’t realize you wanted the money right now before going to bed.
So your intention was to pay me back?
Yes.
Really?
Yeah.
So why did you take the 50-euro bill?
Once I realized you didn’t have enough cash, I paid the bill.
Instead of giving me the 50-euro bill, you put it back in your purse.
What? I’m just saying what happened, Yaya.
What are you…? Don’t!
What the fuck are you doing?
Don’t fucking do that to me!
Don’t… fucking do that to me, Yaya!
Don’t do that to me!
‘Going down.’
Don’t fucking shove things down me!
You fucking child!
Seriously…
You’re behaving like a crazy person.
Shut up! Don’t do things like that to me!
What the hell are you doing with my money?
Your money? Oh, my God! It’s not about money, Yaya!
It’s not about…
[Banging]
[Yaya laughs]
It’s not about the fucking money, Yaya!
Oh!
This is… No, it’s not!
You’re not understanding the point! It’s not about the money!
I’ll give you that 50 euros! I’ll give you a 100 euros!
Oh, yeah?
No! I’m serious now!
This is not about the fucking money! Why won’t you understand it?
Understand my point!
This is not about the money!
Oh, my God. Okay, okay.
I want it to be equal, Yaya!
[Man] Thought he might be dangerous, but he just looked like…
[Carl] Bullshit feminist.
[Answering message]
[Muffled voices and laughter]
[Mutters] For fuck’s…
[Door closes]
What have you been doing?
Trying to sleep on a chair.
How’d that go?
Well, I’m back.
What have you been doing?
I was… walking up and down the corridor and…
Texting you multiple times.
Hmm, a lot…
You saw them?
[Giggles] Yeah.
This is so silly.
Yeah.
I’m… so good at being… manipulative.
I don’t know, I do it and I don’t even realize that I’m doing it.
Yeah…
I love you.
No, but seriously, it’s amazing that you can tell me that.
Now you’re a generous person.
Okay.
Alright.
Ask me anything.
You sure?
Uh-huh.
In the restaurant, with the bill…
What about it?
You intentionally didn’t pick that up, right?
Yes.
Of course.
[Yaya clears throat]
Didn’t that embarrass you?
Nope.
But you make more money than I do.
It’s not about the money.
And you said you were gonna pay…
It doesn’t really matter who makes more money.
What is it about, then?
What if I… fall pregnant?
With me?
What if I fall pregnant and I can’t go on working? I need to know that the person I’m with intends to take care of me. Otherwise I’m wasting my time.
Yeah, I guess you’re not the kind to work in… a restaurant or a supermarket, are you?
[Yaya laughs]
No offense.
I’m a model, honey, the only way for me to get out of this life is to become someone’s trophy wife.
So, there’s nothing else to this for you? Other than… increasing the followers on our Instagram, and all of that.
It make sense, doesn’t it?
Sure.
I like you. You like me. It’s good for business.
Yeah.
Nothing more?
Uh-hmm.
Uh-hmm?
Uh-hmm.
I’d like to put a bet on that.
Okay.
Deal.
Yeah.
We’ll see.
I’ll make you love me.
It’ll be real love as well.
Oh, yeah?
Yep.
Okay.
You’ll forget about this trophy shit.
And you’ll love me.
[Both laughing]
[Woman] ‘The success of a luxury cruise mainly depends on two moments.
‘Number one: the first hours the guests are onboard.
‘And number two: the last day the guests are onboard.
‘And if we can impress them on those two occasions, then the cruise will probably be a success.’
And I don’t want to hear anybody saying,
“We don’t need to uncover the sundeck, they all leave after breakfast.”
No. I want full set-up every morning.
No excuses.
Not even for the last hour.
It’s always, “Yes, sir! Yes, ma’am!”
If there is an illegal substance they want, or… a unicorn!
“Yes, sir! Yes, ma’am!”
Yes!
Whoo!
Yes!
I know, I know what it is to work for service.
I know all the challenges you’re facing.
But at these times, I ask of you to keep that chin up.
Stay strong.
[Slow handclapping]
And try to remind yourself… if everything goes well… at the end of the cruise…
Money, money, money…
…you might be getting… a very generous tip!
Money, money, money…
[Muffled] Money! Money! Money!
Money! Money! Money! Money! Money!
[Screaming and cheering]
Money!
[All] Yes!
Alicia, who do we have onboard?
[Knocking]
No…
[Knocking]
[Woman] Housekeeping!
No. No, thank you.
Do you want me to clean the room?
No, thanks.
Okay, I’ll come back in 30 minutes?
No, you can come back a bit later.
Okay, one hour?
[Yaya] Could you just come back later, please?
Okay, I’ll come back later. Sorry, ma’am.
[Yaya] Let me change.
[Camera clicking]
[Distant laughter and conversation]
[Men speaking Greek]
What?
Nothing.
Hey!
[Yaya] Hey.
What are you doing?
What?
Are you talking to the crew?
Yeah…
Why are you talking to the crew?
I said hello.
Yeah, you smiled at him and said hello.
So?
Ah…
[Crew speaking Greek]
[Camera clicks]
Seriously, Yaya, we’re sitting here together, you shouldn’t…
You just don’t do that.
Do what?
If I started smiling at the hot stewardess and…
You know…
You think she’s hot?
No, but if she was, and I started smiling at her, and giggling and saying, “Hey,” like you did, then you wouldn’t like it, would you?
Are you jealous?
No.
No?
No, I’m not. I’m not. It’s just like… I mean, come on, look at you. And then… And then a hot guy turns up. I mean, he shouldn’t be…
Do you think he’s hot?
He’s alright.
Do you?
Yeah!
What the fuck, man?
You just said you thought he was hot!
But come on, you don’t have to… You said it very quickly. Jesus!
Drop it, okay?
[Crew speaking Greek and laughing]
[Sighs]
Can I help you, sir?
Sorry, just quickly…
Yes?
I was on the rear deck, and one of your crew members was… bare-chested.
Really?
Yeah, and like smoking and stuff.
Oh, I’m so sorry. That’s so inappropriate.
Yeah, it did feel a little bit…
No, of course. I’ll take care of that. I’m so sorry.
Maybe it’s not a big issue…
No, but it’s not acceptable here.
I thought I’d just let you know, cos… Yeah, I didn’t wanna make anything of it.
Well, thank you so much. It won’t happen again, sir. I promise you that.
Alright, thanks.
Alicia?
Yeah?
There’s a crew member up on deck with no shirt on.
No shirt on?
Yes.
[Banging]
[Carl sighs heavily]
[Carl clears throat]
Sorry. Just, er…
Yes?
Is it possible to look at the engagement rings?
Yes. Yes, of course!
Is that alright?
Definitely, yes. Okay.
This is a beautiful ring. This is 24-carat gold. And we have a point nine diamond in the middle, and we have four brilliants on every side of the band.
It’s a very beautiful ring.
Yes. It’s really nice.
Do you want me to try it on so you can see it on a hand?
Oh, okay, yeah.
Yeah?
If you don’t mind?
No, of course.
Hmm…
Yeah?
It’s a very nice diamond, this one. It’s a flawless diamond.
What was the price of that one?
This one is… 28,000 euros.
Mm-hmm…
[Radio] ‘Can we get an almond latte to foredeck?’
[Knocking]
[Knocking] Captain?
[Captain] Uh, yes?
I just wanted to tell you it’s time for the safety drill.
[Captain] Uh, well, no, I’m… I’m just not feeling well.
Should I get the doctor?
No, no, I’ll be fine.
Just have the First take care of it, and then… you know, I’ll see you later.
Okay!
Okay.
Okay.
Abigail? Could you get the tray? Thank you.
[♪ Lounge piano music playing]
[Camera clicking]
Honey, Nutella.
[Camera clicking]
Hm-mm…
Another one?
Have a little look.
[Man] Aren’t you going to eat the pasta?
Sorry?
Aren’t you going to eat the pasta?
Oh, er… No. I’m gluten intolerant.
[Man] Oh?
It’s just for the pictures. She’s an influencer.
[Woman] Oh!
[Man] Okay.
[Woman 2] Wow!
[Man] You make money from that?
Champagne, sir?
Nah… White wine.
Sorry, what?
Yeah… It depends.
It depends. You mostly get free stuff, to be honest.
We got this cruise for free.
Good! Her looks paid for the tickets. Not bad, huh?
Good, huh?
I guess so, yeah. It did.
[Woman] A lovely couple, huh?
[Man] Yeah, that’s nice.
Not bad, not bad.
[Yaya] Thank you.
So, what do you do?
I sell shit.
What, sorry?
I sell shit!
[Chuckles] Fertilizer for agriculture.
Oh, fertilizer…
Interesting.
In every business it’s the right place… in the right moment. My right place: east Europe.
Right moment: end of 80s, beginning of 90s.
And, er…
So, business start, yeah?
In 80s, I was…
Baby? Can I have this one?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Love you.
Yeah, yeah… So, in the beginning of 80s, I was only CEO in one agriculture “Kombinat”, we called it. Hundred thousand pigs, two million chickens. And we’re getting some kind of monopoly. You can call me the King of the Shit!
It was…
I love him. I love him!
And when you have money, you know, you don’t leave money to sleep, you understand?
Money must not sleep, you know.
Okay.
So you put this money from this business, because factories shutting down…
[Man] And the desert is tiramisu.
Or panna cotta, you like both of those.
[Woman] Oh… you choose.
[Man] A-ha…
You have the panna cotta, I’ll have a tiramisu.
[Woman] Fine.
Hello!
Cheers.
I’m Clementine. And this is my husband, Winston.
We’re from Great Britain.
My name is Clementine.
[Woman 2]
And this is my husband, Winston.
Winston.
We’re from Great Britain.
[Uli] Hello. This is my wife, Therese.
She understands you perfectly, but my wife had a stroke.
Since then, she’s suffering from a disability of speaking.
[Therese]
“In den… In den…”
[Clementine] In den Wol…?
Wolken.
Wo…
Champagne, sir?
No, thank you.
What does it mean?
[Uli] “Up in the clouds.”
Oh! How beautiful.
Bye, girls.
Bye.
Take care.
[Mario] Nice to meet you, my friend. I hope I work with you again.
[Man] It was a pleasure, Mario.
We’re going to miss you.
Miss you already.
Take care.
Take care, you.
[Launch departs]
[♪ Dance music, screaming and laughing]
[♪ MODJO: “Lady [Hear Me Tonight]”]
Look at that.
Sad, huh?
He’s hunting.
[Carl] Huh?
He’s hunting!
Big dilemma.
Should he take risk, or go to the room, huh?
Come on.
Look, look!
Maybe has a little chance!
[Chuckling]
Amazing…
Wow.
Sorry if I’m interrupting.
Er… could you just do me a favor?
I have this girl, who should be here with me,
but couldn’t come and…
…I would like to take a picture. Please.
Can you take my picture?
Oh, yeah, of course.
I’ll stand over here.
Oh! Sorry, sorry!
Good?
Thank you very much.
[Yaya] A pleasure…
Have a nice evening.
[Yaya] Yeah, you, too.
Excuse me? Mister?
Hi! Eh… Can you please come back?
You can leave your beer, it’s okay.
What?
You can leave your beer.
If you come in the middle…
Yeah?
Then we can take a picture together, the three of us.
Okay, nice! Nice!
Yeah!
Now we’re talking!
Yeah!
[Woman] More boobs, Yaya! More boobs!
[Laughing]
Oh…
[Man] Thank you very much! You’re very generous!
I would like to do something generous to you.
They have Rolex watches in the reception.
We can go down there now, and I will buy you Rolex watches!
No, it’s okay. Thank you.
No! I would like…
It may sound strange, but I’m…
What you just did here, it meant so much to me.
So I can…
I’m very rich.
Yes, let’s not beat around the bush. I’m very rich.
How rich are you?
Oh, I’m so…
I’m so fucking rich! I just sold my company.
[Captain] Yeah, I’m not drunk! I told you, I’m not feeling well.
[Door opens]
Do you have problem with that?
Can’t you respect that?
Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
Good evening, madam.
Good evening.
[Captain] Are you still there, Paula?
Thomas?
What is it?
I just want to ask you when you’re able to hold the Captain’s Dinner?
Oh, for fuck’s sake…
I can’t do the Captain’s Dinner now!
No, I’m asking you a question, Thomas.
When are you able to put on your uniform and be there for the guests?
Oh… Okay. Well, what’s the forecast?
The weather’s fine, Thomas. It’s about when you can do it.
Any day but Thursday.
Thurs… Thursday’s good.
No. Thomas.
Thursday’s bad.
Huh?
We have a low-pressure zone moving in. Any day but Thursday.
Yes, Thursday! Okay!
Okay, Thomas, listen.
I’ll come back and talk to you about this later.
Paula! Every day, they eat dinner.
And they’re going to eat dinner Thursday as well. Right?
Your most expensive champagne, and three glasses.
Is this your boyfriends?
[Both] Yeah.
Guys, you take care of these girls now!
They’re really, really nice girls! Generous. Caring.
You treat them right, you know!
You think they want some champagne?
Okay, five glasses! Five glasses.
Ludmilla…
[Ludmilla] I love you, baby!
[Man] Yeah, yeah…
[Ludmilla] Dance with me!
[Man] I’m terrible at dancing.
[Yaya] What if I go?
Come on, dance with me!
No, no…
Come on! Just a little bit.
No, I’m… I’m so…
Come on. Don’t be shy!
No…
Why? I’m dancing.
No… I never dance.
Come on, dance with me.
I just don’t.
Why not?
I don’t like it.
Okay.
I feel embarrassed.
Alright, it’s okay. Whatever…
Carl?
Carl? Are you jealous?
[Yaya giggles]
Hey! Carl?
[Knocking at door]
[Carl] Who’s Carl?
What?
You’re not Carl?
No, no. I’m the pool guy.
[Yaya] Ooh…
[Giggling]
Sorry about coming into the mansion, I just needed to get some tools.
[Yaya] Oh?
Over here…
It’s very inappropriate.
[Carl clears throat]
What if my, er…
…husband comes home?
Where is your husband?
He really shouldn’t be leaving such a beautiful girl on her own.
Because it’s very dangerous around here.
[Giggling]
He’s working.
Oh…
Always working…
Is he?
Yeah. It’s hot, huh?
Yeah, I’m very hot.
You should take that off.
Yeah?
Yeah. Ooh.
Ooh!
The thing is, your husband pays me a lot of money, you see.
So, I do have to just make sure I’m doing my job properly.
Okay?
You check the pipes.
Yeah, is there any…
…is there any down here that need to be…
…unblocked, or… is everything okay?
You’re sure you’re the right guy for the job?
I am, I am. I’m very qualified.
Hmm… Let me see.
[Camera shutter clicking]
[Woman] Do you know what people regret on their deathbed?
Can you turn the phone?
[Steward] No.
[Woman] No?
That they were working too much, seven out of ten people regret
throwing away their lives on stupid and pointless jobs.
Can I get you anything to drink?
[Woman] More champagne, please.
I don’t know, I was just born into this life. It was not my fault.
And when this happened, I… I just felt like, “Why? Why?”
Life is so unfair.
Yeah.
We are all equal.
That is so true.
Everyone’s equal.
Is there anything you wish for?
Sorry?
Is there anything you… wish for?
Well… Well, I don’t know.
That’s so sweet of you, madam, but I’m perfectly fine.
But, but, but, but if today was your last day alive…
…hmm… what would you wish for?
I have no idea.
Have you been for a swim today?
No, not today.
Why don’t you go for a swim right now?
Because this is exactly what I’m talking about.
That’s so kind of you, madam, but unfortunately we’re not allowed
to go for a swim during working hours, so…
I want all the staff to go for a swim!
I want you all to go for a swim!
I really feel that I’ve had one of these moments.
Yeah, well, today might be a little bit problematic…
Problematic?
Cos today we have the Captain’s Dinner.
Who cares about the Captain’s Dinner? This will only take half an hour.
Come on, now.
You work too hard, come on.
Yeah, well, let me see what I can do.
Merci!
No, no, no! Come back! Come back, please.
Please come back. I have a better idea.
Sit down.
Okay.
Let’s reverse roles.
Sorry?
Just change roles.
You… chillax in the jacuzzi, and I’ll get the captain.
Oh… well…
Come on! Just be in the moment, like I was. Please!
Yeah, but…
Come, come, I know you want to.
Come on!
Yes, I do but…
But there might be a problem for me, if I…
Now I have to be the authority.
Yeah, well, I have my clothes on…
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
Shut up! Now!
I command you, enjoy the moment!
N-now?
Please.
No.
No?
No.
What?
You say “no” to me?
No. No!
So it’s “yes”?
Yes… No.
“Yes” or “no”?
I’m saying…
Sorry, I’m saying, n…
I’m saying…
Yes.
Yes! Ha-ha!
Don’t worry. Dimitrios will buy the yacht.
Come on! Sit down, sit down.
Okay, I’m going in.
Quick, quick, quick… Yes!
[She speaks French]
This wonderful Miss…
Alicia.
[Paula] Darius? I need your help.
I need you tell one of the guests that the crew can’t go for a swim.
Why?
Well, I told them it’s not possible because of the dinner,
but they want to hear it from the captain in person.
So I went to Thomas’ cabin, I knocked on it, he’s not there.
He’s not responding. I can’t get a hold of him, so…
Could you just please go and tell them it’s not possible?
That would be a big help.
Can’t you just go for a swim?
No. I mean, that would be the easiest,
but they want us to go from the water slide and…
It’s not even funny. Why are you laughing, Erik?
Why are you even here?
I’m on my break.
Well, your break is over. Go back to work.
It’s not even installed yet, it will take forever, and I don’t have that time.
The chef has started the dinner, I need the prep-time.
So please go and tell them it’s not possible…
I’m not going to go and talk to some crazy Russians.
It’s not crazy Russians, it’s very rich Russians.
Same thing.
Go and solve this problem first, and then…
No! We’re done.
Why won’t you do this?
Go and take a swim. Jesus…
Hello, sir!
Hello.
Can I help you?
I was just looking.
You want to see the bridge?
If possible.
Of course. I can get the First Officer. He’s not doing anything right now.
Could you show the guest the bridge?
Yes, of course.
Welcome to the bridge.
I’m Darius. Nice to meet you.
Thomas?
Thomas? Hello?
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Actually… I have a question.
Yes, of course.
Yesterday, I was up on the sundeck.
And the sun was shining, everything was perfect.
But then I looked at the sails.
The sails?
Yes.
And they were… a bit dirty.
Oh!
Yeah.
Oh…
Yeah.
[♪ Russian choral music playing]
Hello?
Hi.
Yeah, but do you realize the food down here is going to be bad?
Okay, bye.
Okay, guys, listen up. You are going to swim.
So, bring your swimming pants, and go to the main deck
as quick as possible, okay?
Come on! Chop, chop! You’re going to water slide.
Have fun!
[Speaks native language]
Thomas?
[Bottles cascade]
Thomas?
[Tannoy bells chime]
[Paula] ‘Good afternoon.
‘I hope that everyone has had a great day so far,
‘and that you’re looking forward to the Captain’s Dinner tonight.
‘We would like to inform you that we have a slight change in the schedule.
‘The Captain’s Dinner will be held at 8:30,
‘and not at 8:00, as it says on the daily program.
‘I repeat: the Captain’s Dinner will be held at 8:30.
‘Thank you.’
Why the push?
[Darius] Cos the crew’s going for a… a swim.
[Laughs]
It’s a request from one of the Russians.
From the water slide.
Oh, my God! This I gotta see.
Whoa, whoa! Do you want to change first?
Oh, Alessandra! How are you?
Alicia.
Al…?
Can you leave us for a bit, please?
Let’s go inside, yeah?
I think you need to change if you wanna go up…
Yeah, yeah…
Let’s go inside and talk.
No, no…
Are you okay, man?
Good.
Yeah?
Very good.
We have four and a half hours left.
Until the Captain’s Dinner.
You chill in your room, have little nap. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.
And we’ll… go together.
Yeah?
[Chuckling]
Darius…
Look at you!
What are you all worked up about? I’m fine! Just totally fine.
Yeah?
Completely, a hundred percent…
…fine.
Mohammed! Mohammed!
What?
Come! Let’s go! Come, come!
What?
Let’s go!
[Woman] Oh! Whoo!
Wonderful!
[Whooping]
[Alicia] Some champagne.
[Woman] Bravo!
[Woman speaks French]
Are we enjoying ourselves? Yes!
[Deep rumble]
[Rumbling and banging]
[Banging and creaking]
[Whooping and laughing]
If you just stand here, and they will be coming to you.
Okay.
Let me see you. Okay.
Okay!
Thank you, Paula.
Just one night, that’s all.
Okay.
Darius, could you stand next to him? Just to make sure…
Okay? You’re ready?
Thank you.
Yep.
Yes.
[Paula] Okay, let’s get ready to open the doors.
Open on my signal, yes?
And… go.
Good evening.
Welcome to the Captain’s Dinner.
Thank you.
Would you like a glass of champagne?
Thank you very much.
Good evening. Welcome to the Captain’s Dinner.
Hi… Hi!
Good evening. Enjoying your cruise?
[Darius] Welcome.
[Thomas] Hello, ma’am.
Nice to meet you. Enjoy your dinner.
Oh, hello, ma’am. How are you?
[Darius] Enjoy your dinner.
Hope the weather’s not too rough on you.
[Thomas] Hello, sir.
Hi.
[Thomas] Welcome.
Thank you.
[Darius] Nice to meet you. Enjoy your dinner.
[Thomas] Hello, sir.
Good evening. Jarmo Bjoörkman…
I have a question. I’m sorry.
Yesterday, I was up on deck.
Yes.
And it was so beautiful. Everything was fantastic.
But then, I saw the sails.
[Thomas] The sails?
The sails, yes.
Oh…
Yeah. And they were dirt-gray.
Do you think it’s possible to wash them?
Well, I don’t think that’s possible, ma’am, because, er…
…this is a motorized vessel.
Yeah.
So, we don’t have any sails.
[Crockery and glassware clanging]
Maybe it was the sundeck roof?
Well… Are you sure?
I’m sure.
[Speaks Swedish]
Yes. He says yes.
It was sails.
[Thomas] Magnus says yes.
Yes.
Jesus Christ…
Well, then, in that case,
we will clean the sails.
Yes.
[Woman] Of course.
I’m sure we can find a solution for you. I’m sure…
Can I escort you to a table?
Okay.
[Darius] Enjoy your dinner.
Thank you.
Well… Jarmo Bjoörkman. I’m sitting at your table.
Oh! Good, good.
Hello, Jarmo.
Are you also sitting at the captain’s table?
Yes, I am.
Is it this one?
Yes. Go ahead.
Oh, Lord…
[Glassware clattering]
[Deep thud]
[Baby starts bawling]
It’s not so much apps as code.
I create code for apps. So you can program…
So, I sell my codes and my skills to different tech companies.
And then, the game makers are pitching ideas to me.
[Waitress] Sir.
So, good evening.
For tonight’s first meal, we will be serving you
some delicious oysters with some black Russian caviar.
Please enjoy.
Thank you.
[Waitress] Are we enjoying the food?
[Woman] Yes, very much.
So, what business do you have together?
[Winston] Oh, it’s a family business.
Producing products in precision engineering.
[Carl] What do you manufacture?
Well, our products have been employed in upholding democracy
all over the world.
What product is that?
Basically, our best-selling product is the hand grenade.
[Yaya] Sorry, the what?
The hand grenade, dear.
[Man coughs and retches]
For a long time, it was the personal exploding device.
But then came those UN regulations, and messed everything up.
A personal exploding device…
Excuse me.
…is a very complicated word for a land mine.
[Winston chuckles] Yeah…
Those regulations trimmed… 25% off on profits.
Yeah.
It was hard times for us, but…
We pulled together, didn’t we?
Yes, we did, darling.
And we still love each other.
A toast!
[Winston] Oh, yeah.
Er… to love!
To love.
To love.
[Banging and rattling]
[Baby crying]
[Waitress] Sir.
Madam.
This is our sea urchin, with an emulsion of sea weed.
On top, you’ve got black truffle, caviar, chili oil,
and a drizzle of yuzu vinaigrette.
Enjoy!
Thank you.
[Woman] Hmm!
Hmm…
[Waitress] Are you enjoying yourself?
[Man] Yes.
[Waitress] Madam.
[Glassware rattling]
[Crockery falling]
[Woman screams]
[Waitress] Sir.
Madam.
So are you feeling a bit seasick?
Yes, a bit.
Yes, so I think it would be better to eat something,
because seasickness is worse on an empty stomach.
Sir.
So, now we are serving some hamburger with french fries for the captain.
And for you, we have something really special.
We have grilled and smoked octopus along with some caramelized lemon,
and on top, beautiful garden flowers. Please enjoy.
I’m not a fan of fine dining.
Are you okay?
[Grunts]
here check wine name? only thing close to Fr wine… Madam? Dagueneau, French, Sauvignon blanc?
Champagne.
[Belches]
Quick!
Santé! [Belches]
If you feel seasick, you should try and eat something, ma’am.
Oh, are you okay?
[Sudden violent gust]
[Man retches]
[Waitress] Are you alright, sir?
[Man groans]
Sir?
[Coughing]
I’m good… [Retches]
[Belches] Excuse me.
Are you okay?
I’m afraid not…
[Woman in Swedish] How are you?
[Ludmilla] Oh, my God! Oh!
Please.
Oh, oh, oh, oh…
Oh, my darling.
[Mutters] More champagne…
Maybe you should have some water?
Champagne.
Champagne? You should not drink champagne now.
Take some water, please.
Okay. It’s helping. She’s fine. Yeah…
[Screaming]
[Waitress] Okay, the restroom. Let’s go, I’ve got you.
More wine, sir?
[Woman] Ludmilla, don’t leave me!
[Weeping and retching continues]
[Squeegee squeaking]
You okay?
[Coughing and retching, baby starts crying]
Darius?
He doesn’t look well.
[Darius] You okay? Feeling seasick, sir?
Is it your chest? Here, chest pains.
Grilled octopus…
Ginger candy?
Oh, ma’am. Thank you for tonight.
Everybody, let’s try to keep calm. Take your seats.
Er… the next course is going to be wonderful.
Ginger candy? It’s good if you’re seasick.
Ginger candy? It’s good if you’re seasick.
Stay calm, everybody, everything is fine.
[Jarmo shouts in Swedish]
Excuse us. Excuse me. Make way, please.
Are you okay?
Keep moving, everything is fine. Everything is fine.
I’m gonna open your shirt.
Is it a stroke?
I don’t know.
Everybody, stay calm!
Erik! Erik! The defibrillator right now!
[Speaks German] Careful! Careful!
Thank you for tonight.
Thank you for tonight. Thank you.
Just clean up now.
Take some deep breaths for me, sir.
[Weeping and groaning continue]
[Groaning and retching]
Oh, oh!
That’s okay, madam.
Hey… There, there.
I’m glad the hat came in useful.
So sorry, darling…
No, no. It’s nothing at all.
[Russian man] Ha! Okay, here we are.
Thank you.
I have a joke. Do you know how to tell a communist?
It’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin.
And do you know how to tell an anti-communist?
Uh-huh.
It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin. Ha-ha!
It’s Ronald Reagan. Funny guy!
“Never argue with an idiot, they’ll only bring you down to their level
“and beat you with experience.” Mark Twain.
Oh-oh… Okay.
Ronald Reagan, he said also,
“Socialism works only in heaven where they don’t need it,
“and in hell where they already have it.”
[Thomas] That’s… that’s pretty good.
Yeah?
Okay. Hold on… I’ve got one here.
Oh, oh, oh, no, I have one!
“Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of a cancer cell.”
Ah…
That’s Edward Abbey.
Listen: “The problem with socialism is that you eventually
“run out of other people’s money.”
Margaret Thatcher.
You’re going to like this one…
“The last capitalist we hang will be the one who sold us the rope.”
Karl Marx.
Oh! Shit!
Okay! Okay, okay, okay…
[Crockery and glassware falling]
Sorry.
Dear God!
[Chuckling]
Okay. A classic.
“The most powerful single force in the world today
“is man’s eternal desire to be free and independent.”
Kennedy.
Okay.
“Freedom in capitalist society always remains about the same as it was in ancient Greece. Freedom… for slave owners.”
I know. Vladimir Lenin!
School.
Ah…
A Russian capitalist, and an American communist.
On a $250-million luxury yacht.
[Panting and moaning]
[Diarrhea flows]
Very good!
Drink, my friend!
Drink, you’re supposed to drain it.
Come on.
Okay.
Drink!
Dimitry, stay focused! Stay focused.
Okay. Okay, okay.
Drink!
Okay.
Red or black?
Black.
Very good.
Red or black?
Er… black.
Have a drink.
Okay…
Red or black?
Black.
Very good!
Red.
Take a drink!
[Thomas chuckles]
Wow…
Red or black?
Er…
Red.
Drink, my friend!
You… You haven’t got a one!
[Indistinct radio transmission]
[Knocking]
Shh!
[Knocking]
[Heavy banging]
[Rhythmic knocking]
[Tannoy chimes]
[Dimitry] ‘Shit!
‘I sell shit.’
I sell shit.
Shit.
The ship is going under.
‘The ship is going under!’
‘Mayday.’ [Coughing]
‘Mayday! Mayday! Mayday! The ship is going under!
‘This is an emergency call.
‘The ship is going under!’
[Screaming]
[Dimitry laughs]
[Paula] Ma’am? Are you okay, ma’am?
‘The ship is not going under.
‘This is the new owner of the ship speaking!
‘And as the communist captain now is setting course for Cuba, we want to discuss politics with you!’
[Thomas] Stop!
[Dimitry laughs]
Relax. I will buy…
I’m not a communist!
I am not a communist. I’m a Marxist.
Or actually, you don’t have a choice.
Just like in a communist dictatorship, you have to listen.
‘You can’t even turn off the volume!’
[Paula] Thomas?
‘But I can.’
Thomas?
‘Turn it down, and I can turn it up!
‘Up! Up! Up!
‘New owner of the ship is speaking!’ [Laughing]
[Thomas] ‘Dimitri!’
‘Oh, okay!
‘But you, you are communist, huh?’
‘I’m not, no!’
[Dimitry] ‘Karl Marx wrote “The Communist Manifesto”.
‘So you are a communist.’
‘No! No! There’s a difference.’
‘In materialism, you… you believe in theory. You are idealist.’
[Thomas] ‘This thing is… This thing is on. Sorry.
‘But while I have you, let me just say that, er… we are not on our way to tax paradise, that’s for sure.’
[Both chuckling]
[Thomas] ‘We all know about your tax planning, your tax avoidance, you don’t pay your fair share…’
[Dimitry] ‘Stop bullshit and pay taxes!’
Pay taxes! Stop the bullshit and pay taxes!
Yes, that is from your resident Russian capitalist pig.
‘I’m not angry with you, it’s like Karl Marx said:
‘”Anything human is not alien to me.”
‘And I understand that your greedy behavior is just the result of your position in a financial hierarchy.
‘That you’re rich. That you’re filthy rich.
‘But you can’t be rich, and expect the rest of the world to be poor.’
And while you’re swimming in abundance, the rest of the world is drowning in misery.
That’s not the way it’s meant to be.
And I know you have a good heart in there, somewhere.
You filthy, capitalist, Russian pig.
You have a good heart.
You’re not just a crazy Russian… shit seller.
I’m not a great… Hey! I’m not a great…
Sosh… I’m a shit sho… I’m a shit sho… I’m a shit socialist. Because I have too much. I have too much abundance in my life. I’m not… I’m not even… I… I’m not a worthy socialist.
[Knocking at door]
I’m a shit shoshialist.
[Knocking]
[Paula] Open the door.
Hey!
Is it locked?
Yeah.
Thomas?
Open the door.
Open the door, Thomas.
I’m so sorry, that was irresponsible.
Let us talk.
Where’s he going?
[Paula] Open the door! Let us talk. Open the door.
Thomas?
[Knocking]
[Speaking in native language]
[♪ Lounge piano music playing]
[♪ Music stops]
[Man screams]
[Dimitry] ‘We had a discussion, and it’s very important.’
And it was stupid. But it was a technical problem.
I have scared passengers…
We didn’t know.
Now you go in your cabin. Relax, and we have discuss…
Stop talking!
Relax, Paula, it was okay.
Well, thank you for all your work. I really appreciate it.
Thomas! Thomas! Thomas?
You are great. You are not fired.
I am the new owner of the ship.
[Paula] Open this door!
[♪ Rock music over dialogue]
[Tannoy chimes]
[Thomas] ‘How people perceive themselves is nothing that interests me.
‘There are very few that are gonna look in the mirror and say:
‘”The person I see is a savage monster.”‘
Instead, they make up some construction that justifies what they do.
And there it is.
You’re rich, so you’re a philanthropist, so you can cure your conscience for not paying enough in tax.
‘Not contributing enough to society.’
[Screaming]
[Child] Mama! Mama!
[Paula] Ow! Shit!
Oh, it hit me in the face! Oh, my God!
I have a flash light.
Fuck!
Was that everything?
How about… How about this one?
Oh! That… That!
Ow! Shit! Goddamn it!
[Thomas] I want to read you something that I wrote.
Come over here. Bring the light.
Okay.
And I recall, I was seven years old walking into the kitchen
to find my mother crying inconsolably.
Martin Luther King had been shot.
Two months later, she was crying again. Bobby Kennedy was killed.
I couldn’t know then what I know now, that the invisible thread connecting Martin Luther King, the Kennedy brothers, and Malcolm X, was that in each case, my government had their finger on the trigger.
Wait. Wait!
But every…
[Switches on Tannoy]
[Dimitry] Say it again.
My government murdered Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Bobby Kennedy, and John F. Kennedy.
‘My government overthrew good, honest, democratic leaders of the people in Chile, Venezuela, Argentina, Peru, El Salvador, Nicaragua, Panama, and Bolivia.
‘Along with Britain, we carved up the Middle East, creating artificial geographical boundaries and installing puppet dictators.’
War itself became our most lucrative industry.
Every bomb that’s dropped, somebody makes a million dollars.
You don’t have to know where those bombs are exploding.
You don’t have to see the grieving mothers and the mangled bodies of their children.
‘Eugene Debs gave this speech in Canton, Ohio, in 1918:
‘”Throughout history wars have been waged for conquest and plunder.
‘”The master class has always declared the wars.
‘”The subject class has always fought…’
Hey, hand grenade.
‘”They’ve taught you to believe it to be your patriotic duty to go to war
‘”and to have yourselves slaughtered at their command.
‘”When Wall Street says war, the press says war…”‘
[Pin pulled, grenade rolls along floor]
[Clementine] Oh!
Winston… Look. Isn’t this one of ours?
Oh, no!
[Shouting, machine gunfire]
[Therese shouting in distance]
[Man] Hey!
[Therese]
[Woman] Hey! Help me!
[Therese]
[Woman] Are you okay?
Who are you?
Hey! Hey, you!
Wait.
Wait.
Hey, I’m talking to you.
Me?
Yeah. Who are you?
I work on the boat.
You work on the boat?
Yeah.
In T-shirt and shorts?
No, no, it’s because, er… I was off duty.
I was sleeping, and then…
You were off duty, yeah?
Yeah.
Is there a problem?
Strange, I’ve never seen you.
Stay calm.
I work in the engine room.
In engine room?
Yeah, yeah.
I’m sorry, I’ve never seen you before.
He works in the engine room?
It doesn’t matter where he works.
Settle down now. Stay calm in this situation.
I’m calm, I’m calm. What’s the problem with you, man?
No one else?
You think I’m a pirate?
Are you okay?
Just because I’m black, you think that I’m a pirate. That’s it!
Ah! Okay, okay.
[Paula] Don’t go there…
[Dimitry] Don’t say that I’m…
Don’t go there.
[Dimitry] You can cry on my shoulder!
He comes to me with his big watch and says I’m a pirate just because I’m black!
What’s the problem with you, man?
[Paula] He hasn’t said anything about you being black.
You’re calling him a racist.
In the eyes, I can see it in his eyes…
[Dimitry] Who are you? Who are you?
[Paula] Sir!
I work in the engine room, man!
[Paula] Sir!
[Dimitry] What?
[Paula] Excuse me.
I think you should just calm down now.
It’s not a good time to step up the situation.
Just stay calm and stay positive.
[Dimitry] He works in the engine room?
[Paula] There’s a lot of people on the boat. We can’t see each other all the time.
[Man] So what’s the problem?
[Paula] Please don’t go there.
I’m sorry. I just have to get that.
[Man] Just say what you have to say.
[Dimitry] Stop.
[Man] Say it to me.
[Paula] Yes, I know. I’ll get back to you. I know.
Sir. Sir!
[Insects chirruping, animals barking]
[Animal barking]
[Footsteps]
[Animal barks]
[Jarmo] Oh! Ah!
Easy, easy!
[Barking getting closer]
Oh…
[Man] Ow! Ow!
[Man 2] Shh, shh!
[Yaya] Be quiet.
[Screaming and snarling]
[Therese]
[Explosion]
[Woman] No, don’t use the flares!
It’s our last flare! Don’t use the flare!
[Man prayers]
[Muttering in various languages]
[Therese shouting]
[Animal barking]
[Jarmo shouting]
Hey!
[Carl] What?
Look!
Oh, shit…
Yaya, wake up, wake up.
[Jarmo shouting]
Look!
[Paula] There’s water in there.
There’s water in there.
Yes!
Is it closed?
It’s closed. It’s closed.
[Dimitry] Paula, we need water!
Be patient.
Is somebody in there?
Yeah, there’s someone in there.
[Banging]
[Paula] Calm down, calm down.
[Jarmo] Does she have water?
[Man] Yes.
[Banging]
[Dimitry] Open up! Open up!
[All chanting] Open up! Open up! Open up!
[Paula] It’s Abigail. Abigail! Come out!
Ma’am Paula?
[Paula] Are you okay?
What?
[Paula] Open the hatch!
[All shouting] Water! Water!
Okay!
[Dimitry] Paula, we need water…
Hey, ma’am Paula!
What do you have?
We need all of these boxes out. Okay?
So, everybody, just calm down. We’ll get water now.
[Jarmo] Yes!
[Paula] There’s some chips in there as well. So, everybody will get some.
[Woman] And chips?
[Paula] And chips.
[Laughing]
What’s she doing?
What are you doing? What’s taking so long? Come on.
Just wait a minute. Just back up. Back up a bit.
And the chips, Abigail. Come on, everything out.
[Dimitry] Paula, ask for food, yeah?
[Laughing]
And the Evian.
Yes, ma’am Paula.
[Paula] Thank you. And how many are you?
You’re five? Just be patient. Everyone will get…
Here you go.
There you go.
Please save it.
[Jarmo] Are there more boxes with water?
[Paula] No, this is it.
[Man] What’s this?
[Paula] It’s a facial spray.
But you can drink it, it’s just water in a can.
Keep it close to your mouth, so you won’t waste it.
Here you go.
[Therese shouting in distance]
Okay?
[Splashing]
[Whooping]
[Dimitry] Bravo!
Bravo!
Whoo!
Crazy.
Did she catch that with her hands?
[Paula] Good job, Abigail!
Good job! What is that? An octopus?
[Abigail] Octopus.
Good!
What do you think we should do now?
Fucking impressive.
[Abigail] We need to make a fire.
[Paula] Of course we need to make a fire.
Yes…
Do any of you know how to make a fire?
What?
Do any of you know how to make a fire?
No?
No!
What?
No!
Then you’ll make the fire after you’re done fishing, and then we should…
[Abigail] We need to clean the octopus.
Of course we do.
Do any of you know how to clean an octopus?
[Dimitry] Huh?
To clean an octopus!
Do you know how to do it?
[Abigail] Uh-huh…
One for you.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
One for you.
One for me.
One for you. One for me.
One for you.
For me.
For you. For me.
For you. For me.
Uh-huh!
[Paula] What?
What’s that?
That’s mine.
No, the big pile there? What’s that?
Mine. It’s mine.
All of this?
Yes.
No. No, no, no… Why do you get so much food?
Why?
[Sighs heavily]
I caught the fish.
Yes?
I made the fire.
And?
I cooked.
I did all the work. And everybody got something.
Hmm…
No. No, we all… we all worked.
What did you do?
We… gathered all the wood for the fire.
[Abigail snorts]
I moved the log.
Yeah, this big log was over there, and we moved it over here.
Not enough.
[Paula] No, maybe not enough, but we need to work together.
They don’t know how to do that.
Exactly.
And maybe that’s why you should not be so lazy and dependent on me.
[Dimitry mutters and chuckles]
Uh-huh!
Abigail… I think you’re forgetting
that you and I are employees of a big shipping company.
Remember?
In the end, I’m responsible for the safety of the guests.
You have to do what I say.
We work on a yacht. You are a toilet manager.
You don’t know how to handle…
What yacht?
[Dimitry laughs]
Where’s the yacht?
You know this, Abigail, I am a very rich man.
When we get back, I can do good things for you.
I can make your life easy and nice.
[Abigail] When we get back?
Yeah.
When we get back. People are looking for us.
What, you think that we’ll stay here forever? What?
[Abigail laughs] You’re funny.
This is not how you were trained, Abigail. Please give…
[Dimitry] Whoa!
[Paula] Come on, this is ridiculous.
You’re scaring people. Put the stick down.
[Dimitry] Hey!
Who am I?
[Paula] Who are you?
Who am I?
You’re the toilet manager.
No.
On the yacht, toilet manager. Here… captain. Who am I?
You’re the captain.
Yes.
Who am I?
Captain.
[Abigail] Very good. Cutie pie?
Captain.
Who am I?
Captain.
Who am I?
The captain.
Who am I?
[Mutters]
Who am I?
Who am I?
In the yacht, cleaning lady. Here, captain.
Okay?
[Dimitry chuckles]
[Abigail] Have one more.
Thank you.
[Dimitry] I would say, I agree.
I mean, er… we have to work together.
And… create a good group.
Good society.
Do you know the saying,
“From each according to his ability,
“to each according to his needs”?
You don’t know this?
Ma’am Paula…
With respect to your expertise in this situation…
…I would like to make a suggestion, if that’s okay?
Sure.
My suggestion is that the boys…
stay here and watch the fire, and take care of madame.
While you, ma’am Paula, and you sleep with me in the lifeboat.
[Animal barks]
[Barking]
[Closer barking]
Thank you.
[Knocking]
[Dimitry] Hey, Abigail, look this…
[Jarmo] I would give you my Patek Philippe.
[Dimitry] For one night in the boat. Hey, Abigail…
[Jarmo] 150 thousand euros!
[Abigail laughs]
[Jarmo] Let us in.
[Dimitry] For you… original Rolex.
Nelson… she left the bag.
What?
She left the bag.
[Nelson] What’s in it?
[Carl] Pretzel sticks.
No, we can’t have it.
I’m just gonna have a look. Alright?
Nice!
[Carl] We can’t. No.
[Zips up bag]
Wait…
What are you doing?
Wait, wait, wait…
Maybe…
…if we just make a little hole here…
Take two out. One each. They’ll never notice it.
[Carl] Okay, let me try.
Stop it, stop it, stop it…
Now?
That was perfect!
I don’t wanna eat it! I wanna save it!
[Nelson] So good!
[Carl] Put it back.
[Carl] Hmm…
Shall we just have one more?
Yeah.
Yeah!
Vera!
[Weeping]
[Crow cawing]
So, what happened here?
Er… we made a mistake with…
[Abigail] Why?
We just fell asleep.
Now I won’t have enough time to go fish, because I have to make another fire.
It takes a lot of work to make a fire, you know.
Yeah, yeah. We know.
[Inaudible whispering]
[Sighs]
[Abigail] Okay.
Okay. Okay, okay. Let’s get this day started.
Come on, everybody. Let’s go.
Okay.
Cool.
[Abigail] Wait, wait, wait. There’s one more thing.
Because, last night, we left our backpack here,
and, well, we’re not very sure, but…
…we think we’re missing a pack of pretzel sticks.
You didn’t take it, did you?
No.
No.
Are you sure?
Yeah, we’re sure! Come on.
Why are we being accused?
Oh, no, I’m not accusing you.
I’m just making sure, because…
What’s this?
Well, we didn’t…
You didn’t?
No.
No, we didn’t.
And you’re sure you didn’t?
We are sure we didn’t.
Very sure?
Yes.
I think they need to be punished.
Yes, ma’am Paula.
This is really bad.
This is really, really bad.
[Carl] Oh, come on…
I mean, you didn’t watch the fire.
And then you steal a pack of pretzel sticks?
Yeah, and lie about it.
We deserved it.
[Abigail] And not just to me, to everybody here.
How can we trust you, after what you did?
I need to say something now, because this is becoming ridiculous.
No, let me say something, Abigail.
[Abigail] Did you see that?
What?
Don’t point at her. Put your hands down.
Okay, alright, Just let me say, though…
[Abigail] Put your hands down!
What?
[Yaya] Your body language is so aggressive, Carl!
What?
[Abigail] I’m not getting any food for you.
You find your own food.
What? Come on, man…
No, Abigail, that’s so unfair!
Put your hands down.
You seriously don’t get it. Put your hands down!
I’m trying to defend myself.
Don’t defend yourself!
You are inflicting pain on her by defending yourself.
Shut the fuck up! No…
No!
[Dimitry] Hey! Ha-ha!
Oh… hey.
What a nice fish, huh?
Yes.
Wow!
We have a lot.
So it’s dinner, huh? Great.
Where did you get it?
There, at the back of the rock.
You’re good at that.
Thank you.
You need help?
Yeah, sure, get some Nutella. [Laughs]
Oh, thank you!
[Yaya] What?
Yaya? Wait, wait!
Dickhead! Piss off!
[Metallic clanging]
[Sighs]
[Abigail] Okay, I’m going to the lifeboat now.
Ma’am Paula, can you stay here and watch the fire?
Sure.
And since Carl didn’t eat anything today, he can sleep with me in the lifeboat.
Okay. Yeah.
[Dimitry chuckles]
[Nelson] Can I come?
[Carl] Abigail, can we both come or…?
[Abigail] No, just you.
[Yaya] Fine, I’ll take the pretzels!
[Carl] Eh?
You’re making this into an issue.
Are you going to take them? Yes, take them. Good.
Why are you making this into an issue?
[Whistle blowing]
I’m coming! One second!
What are you gonna do on the boat?
I don’t know.
Don’t act naive, seriously!
I don’t know why she asked me, but I’m gonna do it, of course…
Really?
Yes.
What do you think she wants with you?
You’re a young, hot guy. What do you think she’s going to do with you?
[Whistle blowing]
Okay, then give them back…
No. No!
Let me take them back.
No. And they’re mine, okay?
Take a few, and I’ll take them back, cos I don’t wanna do this.
It’s not a good idea.
I want these!
You need to tell me what to do! You need to tell me how to navigate this.
[Whistle blowing]
Yaya?
You just have to stroke her ego.
Just… laugh at her jokes.
And… and smile.
Mm-hmm…
Okay.
Make sure to set up boundaries.
Yeah.
And nothing sexual, okay?
No, I won’t do anything sexual.
Mm-hmm…
And don’t do anything you wouldn’t want me to do.
No, I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with.
No kissing. Nothing like that!
Yaya, I think she’s probably expecting something.
Like what?
I don’t know… I, er…
A massage, or…
A massage?
I don’t know. She might want something.
Definitely not a massage!
She just gave me a whole fucking packet of pretzels for you…
I don’t know what to say… I can’t do anything?
No!
Okay, but…
Massage her neck. Okay?
I can massage her neck?
Her neck, that’s it!
Okay, okay, okay…
Okay.
I love you so much.
Well, I hate you.
I understand! Fuck…
[Whistle blowing]
Yeah… Coming!
[Yaya weeping]
See you in a bit.
Morning.
Oh, morning.
Asshole.
Yaya! Yaya, wait. Wait.
[Dimitry] Hey, you!
[Indistinct voices]
See you later.
[Abigail] Okay.
[Man] Pirate! Pirate! He’s coming! He got caught!
[Laughing]
[Blows whistle]
Disgusting.
What?
[Carl] What the fuck?
Oh, fucking hell…
[Banging]
[Whistle blowing]
[Chuckling]
[Blows whistle]
Pretty boy!
We can see you!
Have you ever used your… when you were young?
Oh, you slept with somebody to get a job?
No, you didn’t?
Really? Once?
[Nelson speaks French]
Therese… Wow!
[Blows whistle]
[Carl] Where is it?
Give it to me!
Take it! Take it.
You’re acting like children. Give me the whistle!
Give me the whistle now!
So childish!
[Dimitry mimics whistle]
[Animal braying and snorting]
Hey…
Pirate? What was it?
Did you see it?
What was it?
I don’t know what it is.
What’s going on?
They’re hunting something.
[Nelson] No. We don’t go there. What?
Come on, guys!
Shh!
Nelson, give me that.
[Nelson] Are you sure?
[Animal braying]
Fuck…
It’s a female.
Kill it.
[Animal braying]
[Jarmo shouts]
Whoo!
Ya!
[Men shouting]
It’s moving. It’s moving.
What?
It’s not dead. It’s not dead.
It’s moving.
It’s not dead.
[Braying]
[Nelson] What’s he doing?
[Paula] No, no, no.
[Nelson] Ah, again! Do it again!
[Braying in pain]
[Thudding and braying]
Jarmo! Jarmo… la tempe.
[Breathing heavily]
Hey, you did it!
Hunter Jarmo! Big hunter! Come on!
Give him applause! Hey!
[All chant] Jarmo! Jarmo! Jarmo…
[Dimitry] Big donkey hunt!
Come on, speech!
[Jarmo] Okay, okay!
The donkey fairytale…
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
[Jarmo] Thank you very much.
Okay… To kill a donkey, it may be a great achievement.
But there’s one thing that’s so much greater.
[Yaya] To paint!
To paint, yes!
To paint a donkey!
[Yaya] Yes!
[All cheering]
[Whooping]
[Jarmo] Let’s take a look at the expression.
Who did this one?
[Yaya] Me.
Okay, the feet are close, close together.
This donkey wants to be in control.
But it looks almost scared.
You want to tell this donkey to…
…to not be so scared.
To lose control and bound away across the fields,
wildly waving its tail!
Sure, it will make mistakes…
Carl, what are you doing?
Huh?
[Yaya] Carl?
Yeah.
What are you doing with your hand?
[Carl] Which one?
Seriously?
I’m just resting it on the chair.
Why is your hand under her jacket on a chair?
[Carl] What…?
It was just… I don’t know, it was there,
resting on the side of… the chair.
[Distant thunder]
[Abigail] I’m coming. I’m coming!
I’m coming…
Oh, I can’t concentrate…
Oh, God!
Okay, you know…
…if you can’t handle it, just tell me, nobody’s forcing you to do anything.
It’s just all this fucking sneaking around and hiding things from everyone.
It’s too much. It’s… it’s becoming unbearable.
I mean, they’re obviously not happy with what we’re doing in here.
Okay, so… Let’s just… tell them the truth.
You give me something, and I give you something in return.
You realize what position that puts me in?
No.
Well, just because it’s more open that you’re a flesh peddler,
it doesn’t mean they’re gonna accept the fact
that you’re buying sex with the common food.
Wow…
Oh, come on, I didn’t…
Do you know the amount of work I put into this island?
I go fishing every day, I make fire…
I know, I know.
I’m responsible for everybody here!
I know, I’m sorry, I know.
Shouldn’t that give me an advantage?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Okay!
You deserve to do what you want, I know.
The absurd thing is that, if we were a couple,
they wouldn’t care what we did in here.
But, really, maybe we should just do that, maybe we should just get on with it.
I don’t know, kiss a little bit in public and hold hands.
Surely that would be easier?
What about Yaya?
I would have a conversation with Yaya. I would have to be an adult about it.
And figure it out, but… I think it would be easier for her, probably.
I mean, she’s having to deal with all this gossip as well.
Carl, I… I don’t know.
Do you want me to break up with Yaya?
No.
No?
That’s your decision, not mine.
I’m not asking you to do it, I’m just seeing what you think about it.
I know, but that doesn’t mean that you can put me in-between the two of you.
Okay, okay.
It’s kind of a perfect scenario for you, I mean…
You get what you want, you have no obligations,
no responsibilities, you know.
Why do you have to make everything so complicated?
Because I feel like I need to know where this is going, Abigail.
Let’s just have fun.
No, but I need to try to deal with this situation.
I… I don’t wanna piss off…
I don’t wanna annoy anyone anymore.
Do you remember what you said the first night you were here?
What did you say?
“I love you, you give me fish.”
Exactly.
And do you know why that is so beautiful?
No.
Like you…
Why?
Because it’s the truth.
So, Nelson… you’re a pirate, huh?
Come on, stop it.
Okay. If I was a pirate, what would you ask me?
How much money do you make?
Yeah, of course.
I don’t know, like… 3,000 euros.
On one attack?
Yeah, one attack.
If we succeed.
So, you work on commission, huh?
Yeah.
Shit!
The client is making all money?
Yeah, but you can make more if you have your own boat.
3,000 euros… Come on, you’re crazy.
My girlfriend is expensive.
What? You invest in your girlfriend?
Yeah.
Ah…
You should do it the other way around.
Invest in business, buy a boat, and the girls will come to you.
Yeah?
[Dimitry] Sure, I know. Ha-ha!
[Knocking]
[Insistent knocking]
Hey.
I was just wondering if I could borrow the backpack.
Abigail?
[Abigail] Yeah, I know.
What are you going to do, Yaya?
Go for a hike over the mountain.
See if I can find something.
[Abigail] I’ll go with you.
It’s okay, I can go by myself.
No, Yaya, it’s not safe for you to go alone. I’ll go with you.
Okay.
Do you want me to come?
No. You stay here.
I need some time alone with her.
Yeah?
Yeah.
[Yaya] I’ll take it.
I’m glad we’re doing this together, Yaya.
Me, too.
I actually wanted to tell you that I’m…
…really impressed by everything you’re doing here.
I mean, you managed to run a fucking matriarchy, Abigail.
[Laughing]
You domesticated all the old alpha males.
Yeah!
Thank you.
No, it’s really impressive.
We should stick together, huh?
Oh, my God…
I think it should be a little easier from here.
[Man singing in distance]
[Man speaks native language]
[Speaks native language]
[Therese] Nein, nein.
[Man] Huh?
[Yaya] Abigail!
Yeah?
[Yaya] I see something!
[Yaya shouts]
A what?
[Yaya shouts]
I can’t hear you!
[Yaya] Abigail! Hurry up!
I’m coming!
Abigail!
Yaya!
[Yaya whooping]
Yaya!
Abigail!
Abigail! Abigail, there’s an elevator!
It’s a resort, Abigail!
A what?
It’s a resort!
Come, look! It’s a luxury resort!
[Laughing]
It’s been there the whole time!
It’s been there the whole fucking time, Abigail!
[Weeping and laughing]
Come.
Come, Abigail. Come.
Abigail?
Let’s enjoy this moment.
It’s surreal, huh?
Yeah.
You must be excited to see your kids, huh?
[Laughs]
I don’t have kids.
Ah…
Sorry.
[Elevator bell chimes]
Let’s go.
I need to wee-wee.
Yeah.
And then we will go.
Okay.
Abigail?
Abigail, I can try and help you.
I don’t know how, but…
Abigail… maybe you can come and work for me?
You could be my assistant.
Aargh!
[Shouts]
Fuck!
Aargh!
[♪ FRED AGAIN: “Marea [We’ve Lost Dancing]”]
[♪ MARIN MARAIS: “Sonnerie de Sainte-Geneviève du Mont de Paris”]
