The Wrong Paris (2025)
Director: Janeen Damian
Stars: Miranda Cosgrove, Pierson Fodé, Madison Pettis, Frances Fisher, Yvonne Orji, Hannah Stocking, Torrance Coombs, Naika Toussaint, Christin Park, Madeleine Arthur, Veronica Long, Emilija Baranac, Ava Bianchi, Kaden Connors, William Wilder
Synopsis: Dawn thinks she’s joining a dating show in Paris, France, only to land in Paris, Texas. She has an exit plan — until sparks fly with the cowboy bachelor.
* * *
[“Ces Bottes Sont Faites Pour Marcher” by Michèle O playing]
Hey, Max.
[Max] Hey, sis.
Morning, Grandma.
Morning.
[“Ces Bottes Sont Faites Pour Marcher” fades]
Did anyone get the mail this morning?
Nope.
Emily, did you get the mail?
She’s watching The Honey Pot again.
Hey!
Will you take the money or the honey?
I take the honey!
[gasps] You’re obsessed.
I got the mail this morning.
It’s from France.
[gentle uplifting music playing]
[chuckles]
[music swelling] I got in.
[grandma] You got in?
Dawn!
I got in!
Oh, Dawn, your mother would be so proud!
This was her dream for you!
[Max] You’re going to school in Paris!
Oh my God! Wait, let me see!
Wait, what’s this part about no available student housing?
Uh, it says, “Your request for financial aid has been declined.”
“The estimated tuition and living costs are… 30,000 a year.”
Is your Paris fund going to cover that?
[gentle uplifting music fades] We can talk details later.
I’m gonna be late for work. Birdie, I’m gonna pick up your meds.
Max, don’t forget to bring your sheet music home from choir.
Yeah.
[Dawn] I’m out of here.
Whoa! You hardly ate anything.
Thanks, Birdie. Bye, guys!
Stay off your phone. Eat your breakfast.
[moody contemplative music playing]
[music fades]
[gasps]
[chuckles] You scared the hell out of me.
Sorry. I saw your face back there. What’s wrong?
I don’t have the money.
What? You’ve been saving for years.
Insurance didn’t cover everything for Birdie’s fall last year.
Wait, you used your Paris funds for that? How much do you have?
Enough for the first year’s tuition.
After that, I can’t cover a plane ticket, much less housing.
Don’t tell Birdie yet.
Okay. But this is what you and Mom always dreamt of. There’s got to be a way.
[upbeat music playing] I’ll figure it out.
Hey, can I hitch a ride into town? I need to stop by Piggly Wiggly.
Get in.
[truck engine starts] Thank you.
[man] Order’s up!
Thanks.
Here you go, Buck.
Mm.
[upbeat music fades] Hey, Dawn, you ever going to give me another shot?
Levi, it’s been two years. Let it go.
Plus, I know for a fact that you’ve been dating Tammy from the DQ.
[Levi chuckles] Where’d you hear that?
Everywhere.
Guess I’m worth talking about, then.
[scoffs]
[Emily] Ew.
Dawn, I know how you’re getting to Paris.
[man] The Honey Pot is heading to Paris and we want you.
You want me to audition for The Honey Pot?
Yep.
Like some cream with your crazy?
Come on! Auditions are this Saturday in Dallas.
If they pick you, there’s a $20,000 appearance fee.
And the only reason I know that is ’cause last year’s runnerup used it to get butt implants.
[utensil clatters] More coffee?
But listen, you don’t even have to do the entire show.
Once you’re eliminated, you’re already gonna be in Paris with a big fat check.
I don’t even watch The Honey Pot. They’d see right through me.
That’s not a problem. I’ll coach you.
Dawn, you know that the Academie d’Art can jump start your career.
You should have let me help you with Birdie last year.
Let me help you get to Paris.
[contemplative music playing] All right.
Really?
But I’m not getting butt implants.
[Emily] Each season, The Honey Pot features a rich single hottie, and it always takes place on the bachelor’s swanky estate, where he starts picking them off one by one until he finds his one true love in a very intense season finale because that is when she decides if she wants him or the money.
How much money?
Quarter of a million dollars.
[scoffs] Who would ever pick the guy?
Oh, almost all of them.
Because they’re trapped in the love vortex.
[upbeat music playing] What is a love vortex?
Well, imagine a world with only one man in it…
Pretty lean.
…and 20 women.
Getting worse.
Every activity is designed to trigger that primal quest for love and mating.
[upbeat music stops] Okay, so I’ve broken down the contestant’s typical behavior.
To make sure you get kicked off right away, you do the opposite.
Got it.
So they always flip their hair and they look longingly into his eyes, so you cannot lock eyes with him.
And it’s a really big deal who gets to kiss him first, so make sure that it’s not you.
Right. So no flippin’, no lookin’, no longin’, no kissin’.
Yes. And then I have no idea why, but no one ever eats on these shows.
So just feel free to stuff your face.
This is crazy.
I never should have told you that I drained my Paris fund.
You spent your Paris fund?
For what?
Dawn paid for some of your bills after the accident last year.
I didn’t want you to worry.
Dawn Francis, that was not your decision to make.
Uhoh, she put middle name.
This is so like you, trying to control every situation but your own.
No, it’s not.
[Birdie and Max] Yes, it is.
I watch you working in the barn year after year, but you never put out any of your pieces, did you?
That’s not true.
[Emily, Birdie, Dawn] Yes, it is.
And now you are spending your savings to cover something that you and I could have worked out together.
Piffle!
You’re scared.
[contemplative music playing] No, I’m not.
You know what’s the scariest thing that you have to face?
An angry grandmother?
Mm.
Opportunity.
It’s okay to be scared, honey. But it’s not okay to hide.
Because you’re good.
And I suspect you might be great.
But you’ve got to commit yourself in order to find out.
All right.
Toss me into the vortex and sign me up.
[contemplative music fades] So, what kind of girls audition for these shows?
Oh, well, you’ve got all types of girls. You have the Cinderella type.
I have been dreaming my whole life of finding my prince.
I am done kissing frogs. They eat them in France, you know.
You’ve got the rough around the edges type.
I’m a biker chick. I’m out here looking for my ride or die.
But on the lowlow, I just want someone to get freaky with.
The one with baby fever.
Whoo!
Sorry, I get hot when I’m ovulating.
It’s happening now.
They lean into the stereotypes. Yeah.
What type am I?
You’re the smalltown girl type.
No.
Yes.
Oh, smalltown girl type?
Without a doubt.
[lively music playing]
[lively music stops]
[man] And camera is rolling.
[woman] Okay, so I see here that, uh, you’re from a small town?
[Dawn] Yep. 4,026.
Oh, wow. So everyone’s your cousin, huh?
[both chuckle] Is that why you want to be on the show? Maybe a larger pool of men to choose from?
Oh, totally.
Also, I have been watching The Honey Pot since the first season…
Ah.
…when Annika…
[whispering] Which one was Annika?
…fell in love with the blind pilot. [chuckles] From ‘Nam.
Oh, you mean Danika. And that was the bush pilot from Nome.
Alaska.
[whimsical music playing] You don’t know anything about the show.
I kind of watch it. I’ve seen a few eps.
Are those crib notes?
What? Where?
On your hand.
[sighs] Shit.
Get security! How did she get in here? This is crazy!
[gasps] I’m messing with you.
You do not need to know that much about the show. [chuckles] Tell me about Dawn Blanton.
[whimsical music stops] I’m an artist.
[yawns] Or at least, I really want to be.
So it’s not your day job?
No. I’m a waitress.
I serve coffee and pie to people I’ve known my whole life. [chuckles] Dawn, what do you know about Paris?
[gentle contemplative music playing] Only that it’s filled with light and art and…
That it’s the most beautiful city in the world.
It is.
So you’re not currently in a relationship?
No.
Okay.
And if I can just be totally honest, I just really don’t want to get stuck where I grew up.
[man clears throat] I get it.
[woman sighs] Dawn, this was really lovely. Thank you so much for coming in.
Okay. Um, yeah, it was really nice meeting you.
No, it was such a pleasure.
Yeah. We’ll be in touch.
[alert bell rings] What was that?
What?
[mimics clearing throat] We can hear you.
And?
And I liked her.
You know what I would like?
Mm.
Contestants with big social media followings to help us boost our tanking viewership.
Well, you should have thought about that before you had the genius idea to get rid of our host for the season.
Did you forget that I’m your boss?
Did you forget to tell the network I came up with the Paris twist?
No, I’ll… I’ll tell them.
When?
[sputters]
[mock sputters] I’ll tell them, okay? What do you want?
I want you to say yes to Dawn.
No.
Huge numbers. Social media following.
[lively music playing] Thank y’all for following along all the way from Nashville.
I made it to Dallas.
I’m at The Honey Pot casting office. Let’s look at all the girls.
They look so gorgeous!
Nailed it.
[gasps] Really?
No.
This is it. I am here in line with The Honey Pot Hive. Say hi, girls.
[all] Hi!
Who is that?
That’s Lexie Miller.
She’s been documenting her road trip from Nashville to the audition, and she has a zillion followers.
600 miles, 10 hours, and 15 Diet Magenta Mules with adaptogens to keep me wired and worry linefree.
[Emily] Mmhm.
[lively music stops] I just wanted to say that I’m a huge fan of your contouring technique.
I actually used it on my sister today.
You did?
Mmhm.
Not bad. Are those your brows?
Who else’s would they be? [chuckles] I can tell you’re not my base.
[Dawn chuckles] Would you mind just scooching aside so I can knock this out before they call me up?
Thank you.
Hey, Lexie. We’re ready for you.
Oh, wish me luck. Or as they say in France, merde.
[chuckles] Hi!
[woman] Hi! Love the dress.
[Lexie] Thank you.
♪ Got a good girl from the country! ♪
♪ And she got her head on straight! ♪
♪ She don’t need none of my money! ♪
♪ Baby got a 401k! ♪
♪ Lot of good traits ♪
♪ It don’t matter any way you slice it ♪
♪ But the fact she got cake is the icing ♪
[whoops]
♪ Icing! ♪
[Emily groans]
[Dawn chuckles]
[Emily] You’re killing me!
Stop whining. Enjoy the music.
Eight ball, center pocket.
[Emily] Yeah, you’re gonna miss this.
[chuckles]
[Emily groans] Okay, you suck.
No, you do. Pony up.
Whatever.
I’m gonna go close out our tab.
Nice shot.
I like your silver spurs, by the way.
Thanks.
I made them.
Really? Well, that is very cool.
For one Lone Star.
Thank you.
You visiting from Dallas?
Now, what makes you say that?
Custom boots without a speck of dirt.
Uhhuh.
Fancy hat.
Right.
I’m guessing lawyer in town for the weekend, checking out a hunting lease for the fall.
Try again.
Venture capitalist?
Boring.
Tech bro.
Wow, you’re just being rude now, aren’t you?
[both chuckling] All right.
Maybe I’m just from down the road. How about that?
Can’t be true. We’d have gone to kindergarten together.
Really? Did you come stomping into class wearing those silver spurs back then?
See? If you were local, you’d know spurs aren’t allowed until second grade.
You got me.
[“Good For You” by Breland playing] Hey, you care to dance?
[man] ♪ I can do some things You never thought of ♪
Okay.
All right.
Show ’em how it’s done.
♪ Better than Chevrolet ♪
♪ Give me the time and place ♪
♪ I can drop a buck From across the holler ♪
♪ You know I ain’t talking dollars ♪
♪ From half a mile away ♪
Not bad for a real estate tycoon.
Not too bad for a pool shark.
[chuckles] So now that we’ve established I’m a genius millionaire, what do you do?
Oh, I run a nonprofit.
Oh, very good. Which one?
My life.
[both laugh] Sounds like I’m gonna need to buy you a drink after this.
Oh, I’m tempted, but we were about to head out. I have an early morning.
Really?
What do you got to do? Make more free spurs?
[chuckles] Also, a grandma who needs a ride to Bible study.
Oh, well, I… [clicks teeth] …can’t argue with that.
♪ …you ♪
♪ And what good is Doing everything I’ve ever done ♪
♪ If I never did what I promised to ♪
[man 1] I like that top. It’s sexy.
[Emily] Hey, watch your hands.
I’m not kidding.
[man 1] I’m just having a…
No, stop it. Stop.
I’m sorry. I got to go.
Wait. Hold… Hold…
[man 1] Damn.
You okay, Em?
Yeah.
Woowee!
She’s working them boots.
Yeah, she is.
Bet you give one hell of a ride in those.
I do. But I find the steel toe and a kick often get the job done better.
Oh, she’s feisty, huh? [chuckles] Ready, Em?
That’s okay.
We can find smalltown trash anywhere. [chuckles]
[man 2] We could do better at Twin Peaks.
[men chuckle]
[mock gasp] Oh my God.
[fingers cracking]
[gasping and groaning] Oh, shit.
[man 1 screams and groans] Who raised you? Apologize.
[man 2] Hey.
Relax, dickhead. Shut up.
I don’t like that guy.
What makes you think you can behave like that?
You don’t know me.
Oh, I know your type. Spoiled, unkind.
Apologize.
[chuckling] Okay, I’m sorry.
[man 1 groans] I’m sorry that tomorrow I’ll still be spoiled and you’ll still be a loser in nowheresville…
[crowd chatters and laughs] Let’s go home.
That’s good.
What happened to being my wingman?
He’s jacked. What do you want me to do?
Is that cowboy still looking?
Yep. Only because you got toilet paper on your shoe, though.
Little devil.
[chuckles]
[“L’Amour Sous Les Magnolias” by A Mind Going Through Life & Noé playing]
[cell phone ringing]
[“L’Amour Sous Les Magnolias” stops]
[ringing continues]
[man] Hello. Is this Dawn Blanton?
Yeah, this is Dawn.
I’m calling from The Honey Pot.
Uhhuh.
Oh.
Okay. Thank you.
[quiet dramatic music playing] You used to stand on a stool…
[Dawn] I’m going to Paris!
[both gasp]
[music swells and fades]
[gentle uplifting music playing]
[mock explosion]
[sighs]
[chuckles] I made you cookies for the plane.
Don’t forget your checkup on Friday.
Oh, don’t worry.
You just go live your dream, honey.
I love you.
I love you, Birdie.
Bon voyage.
[chuckles] Bye.
Bye.
Here. I’ll take that. Thank you.
[uplifting music swelling]
[music becomes inspirational]
[woman chattering indistinctly]
[woman chattering]
[woman] I will.
Give me a pose. Big smiles, everyone’s excited, we’re going to Paree.
Why, Rachel?
[indistinct chatter] I got this.
[producer sighs] Nope.
[inspirational music fades] Hair and makeup, please! Hey, Dawn. How you doing? You look like you do.
All right, if we could just get more eyes, more cheeks, just overall, the whole face, uhhuh.
Did you sign that contract?
Oh. Yeah. Are y’all making a reality show or sending us to space?
You printed out the whole thing.
[Rachel] Mmhm.
Whoo! [chuckles] It’s cold.
[Rachel] That looks great. Perfection.
All right, Dawn, if you want to walk with me.
Guys, let’s set up for The Honey Pot shot.
[electronic music swelling]
[energetic French pop music playing]
[pop music fades]
[pilot] This is your captain speaking. You are now free to move about the cabin.
[women chattering] All right, ladies, I’m going to need your cell phones.
You will get them back once you’ve been eliminated. Thank you so much.
I think you mean if we’re eliminated.
[scoffs]
[flight attendant speaking French] Champagne, mademoiselle?
[woman chuckling] Oui!
Hey, Red, I’ll have a Wild Turkey. Make that a double.
[Eve] What are those?
Hydrating gloves.
No, thank you. I’m moisturizing. [chuckles] I can’t. I might be getting pregnant this week.
Oh. Want to try one?
Mmmm. I’m wearing four layers of Spanx.
The only thing fitting in here is an Altoid, maybe a thimble of diet soda.
Let me know if you change your mind or need a medic.
Mm.
I’ll take a cookie.
Oh, yeah.
Mm. I’m Jasmine.
I’m Dawn.
[chuckles] Macaron?
Oh… Uh…
Just put it in my mouth. [chuckles] But not the whole thing. Half.
No, a quarter.
Mmm.
Nice, uh… nice tiara.
Thanks. It’s my proudest accomplishment.
Oh, no shit. Mine’s banging Taylor Swift’s road manager.
[Cindy] Oh. Oh, wow.
Gosh, I hope our bachelor’s a prince. He’s a prince, right?
[gasps] I bet he lives in a palace like the Louvrah.
With the Mona Lisa?
Wait, who’s Lisa?
Dawn, what about you?
[Dawn] Oh, um…
Yeah, I’m just, I’m really excited to see what’s waiting for me in Paris. [chuckles]
[Rachel] Mmhm.
Oh, and, uh… super ready to meet, uh… a hot…
[women muttering] No, a super steamy… French guy.
[chuckles] Amateur. [scoffs] To a hot French man.
Cheers to that.
Cheers.
Cheers.
[woman] To Paris!
[gentle accordion music playing]
[woman snoring]
[alert over PA]
[pilot] We are making our final descent. Please prepare for landing.
[woman] We’re still flying.
Why can’t we see out?
They’re dimmable windows using electrochromosome gel.
The show has them locked in night mode.
They want our spontaneous reactions when we step off the plane.
Bummer. I really wanted to see the city from up here.
[gentle accordion music stops] Hey, garçon, you mind getting your baguette out of my face?
[man] Sorry.
Ladies, I know it’s been a long flight, but please, let’s look alive.
We are finally arriving in Paree!
[gentle according music continues]
[all cheering excitedly]
[Rachel] All right.
[speaking French]
[giggling]
[screeching] All right, everybody, we’re in position. Stand by.
[women squealing excitedly]
[accordion music swelling] Oh my God.
[music stops]
[wind blowing] Oh, hell no.
What the f…
[lively music playing] Kiss my grits.
Wait. Is there a Texas in France?
Hey!
[in American accent] Can you please move along? You’re causing a blockage.
What the hell happened to your accent?
[chuckles] Okay, I can pivot. [chuckles] Let’s just get you right here. Um, Dawn, why don’t you tell us how you feel?
I feel like I’m less than an hour from my hometown.
[gentle twangy guitar music playing] We’re in Paris, Texas.
Have we just been up there circling for nine hours?
Okay, you’re not wrong. Uh, that was not very green of us.
Yeah, we promoted a dating show set in Paris, and, well, here we are. Never said Paris, France.
I want my stuff. I want my phone. And I want the hell out of here.
All right, hey, let’s all just calm down.
Why don’t you stay and give this experience a shot?
And you signed a contract.
You got to shoot me and all of these girls looking like fools.
I’m going home.
Oh…
You’re obligated to stay on the show until you’re cut by our leading man.
Otherwise, you forfeit your appearance fee.
Suck it up, buttercup.
Hey.
[groans] So you’ll do it?
[producer] Cameras are rolling. Energy.
[cheering excitedly]
[“Paris Texas Man” by Buck McCoy playing]
♪ Sitting at the airport I’ve got my bag at hand ♪
♪ I’m finally going where I need to be ♪
♪ Because I’m going down to Paris ♪
♪ And just as fast as I can ♪
Viva Paree!
[camera shutter click] What do I think of cowboys?
One word?
Giddy up.
I’m being kidnapped.
♪ There’s somebody waiting for me ♪
♪ I’m a Paris, Texas man ♪
♪ Paris, Texas man ♪
My God, you see that?
[all chattering excitedly]
[“Paris Texas Man” ends]
[chatter continues] Hello, ladies.
[women] Hi!
Welcome to Silver Spur Ranch.
This will be your home for the duration of your time on the show.
[women chattering] Tomorrow at noon, there will be a picnic where you will finally get to meet your leading man, Mr. Trey McAllen III.
[cheering excitedly] But for now, let us get you settled into your bunkhouses. Follow me.
[women chattering excitedly]
[“Keep Up” by Raelynn playing]
♪ ‘Cause I can drive your truck Faster than you can ♪
Oh my God!
[women screaming and shouting]
♪ I can dance with the ladies Drink with the fellers ♪
♪ You know Fridays are good But boy, with me they’d be better ♪
♪ Country boys sure know how to have fun ♪
♪ But let me show you how A country girl gets it done, y’all ♪
♪ Keep up ♪
[Lexie] Oh my God!
Come on in, ladies. Come on in.
[“Keep Up” by Raelynn ends] I take it you like your new digs, yeah?
[women] Yes!
[women chuckling] All right, well, we know you packed for Europe, so we have gone ahead and provided some ranchinspired attire for you waiting in the swag room.
[Amber] What? There’s a swag room?
[women chattering excitedly]
[lively cinematic western music playing] Oh, Dawn, you don’t want to go check it out?
Can I just go to my room?
Sure. It’s that way.
[snickering] Girl! That’s mine!
I like this ’cause it’s slutty chic.
[Amber] I don’t have any more hands.
There are enough clothes for everyone!
You all stop fighting!
Works every time.
[gasps]
[distant chattering] Wow.
[Amber] That was so insane.
Wait a minute, that’s my hat!
[gasps] It’s like a mosh pit out there with sequins and hair extensions flying everywhere, hm?
So we’re roomies.
[both chuckle] Wow, Paris, Texas. That was a shock.
But I’m from Chicago, so this is still a whole new country for me.
Well, I was born about 60 miles down the road and lived there my whole life.
Oh, so you’ve got this wired.
Maybe you can give me some tips.
Sure.
[both chuckle] Thanks.
[gentle upbeat music playing]
[horse whinnies]
[neighs] Um, come on.
[horse whinnies] Come on.
[horse neighs quietly]
[man groans] Morning. Can I hold him for you?
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
He picked up a stone.
[man groans] I got it. Thanks.
[chuckles] Sorry, I got held up dropping off some bales back in the barn.
[gentle upbeat music stops] What?
You!
What are you doing here?
Oh my God, are you… Are you here for the show?
Yeah, but not on purpose.
[man] Huh.
I thought I was going to Paris, France, not some land baron’s ranch harem.
[men laugh] That’s funny.
Wait, are you here for the show?
Am I…
Is this your ranch?
[man] Mm.
Are you… the honey?
I told you I wasn’t a tech bro.
You’re a weekend cowboy.
Now, I wouldn’t exactly call myself that.
No. Gordito here is the real deal.
Uhhuh.
Gordito?
[chuckles] Well, I may have been a chubby child.
Aw.
Miss.
Yeah, bud.
[horse neighs] Trey McAllen. Nice to meet you.
Dawn Blanton. Kick me off this ranch.
[gentle upbeat music playing] Oh, well, you just got here.
[man, faintly] Dawn?
What if I don’t wanna kick you off?
This isn’t what I signed up for.
You’re going to like it more than France.
I’m afraid of horses.
You were handling Duke fine.
Manure makes me nauseous.
Don’t stand downwind.
I’m into girls.
Of course you are. There’s a harem waiting for you.
[man] Hey, Dawn, we need you in hair and makeup.
[whispering] Hair and makeup.
That’s not happening.
No, of course not.
You know what to do. It was nice meeting you.
Miss.
[music stops] Oh my God, where is this child? I am not a babysitter.
Oh! [Rachel chuckles] Hey, Dawn.
Thanks for joining our party. Why are you not getting dressed?
Guess this guy will have to love me as I am or send me home.
[Rachel sighs] Dawn, look, I know that you were really disappointed by the Paris thing, but I don’t think you’re going to be disappointed by Trey.
I didn’t come on the show to find a honey.
You say what now?
I lied.
Look, I’m not proud of it, but I needed the plane ticket and the appearance fee to go to Paris to start school.
And if he kicks me off soon, I could still make it there.
I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. I want to get in and out.
Hey, listen.
First, please do not share that information with anybody else.
And secondly, girl, that’s more than lying. It could be fraud.
And if it is, you can kiss your little appearance fee goodbye.
The network could sue you. What were you thinking?
But this whole show is about choosing love or money.
Plenty of girls are here for fame and cash, not love.
Yes, but they decided to play the game, Dawn. Okay?
Not cheat the system for a plane ticket to Europe. That is the difference.
[distant chatter] Damn it, Dawn. I like you. Hell, I’m even rooting for you.
So if you want to get out of here safely, do it the oldfashioned way.
Get dumped in front of millions of people watching around the world.
Mmmkay? Got it? Glad we had this little chat.
Now, I need you to go get dressed.
Hello again, ladies.
[all] Hi!
Well, this is your first ensemble date.
There will be an elimination tonight and ten of you will be going home.
[Dawn] Thank God.
Be sure to make a great first impression.
And now, prepare to meet your bachelor.
[upbeat music playing]
[women squealing excitedly] What the frick was that?
[woman] What was that?
[man mutters]
[women gasp]
[woman] Oh my God!
[epic cinematic music playing]
[women screaming excitedly]
[whinnying]
[women continue screaming] Hey, afternoon, ladies. Welcome to Silver Spur Ranch.
I’m Trey McAllen. Nice to meet you.
[all] Hi!
I understand y’all had quite the surprise coming in.
Hope y’all aren’t too disappointed.
[all] No.
My greatgranddaddy started this ranch about 100 years ago, and I am the proud owner of it today.
So, it may not be Paris, France, but it is paradise to me.
[women] Aw.
Now, I’m very excited to meet each and every one of you.
So… Thank you, Jesus. Follow me. Let’s eat some grub.
[women chatter excitedly]
[Trey] How are you?
[Amber] Good, how are you?
[“Thicc As Thieves” by Lauren Alaina playing]
♪ Us Southern girls We’re thick as thieves ♪
♪ We’re thick as thieves ♪
♪ We’re thick as thieves We’re thick as thieves ♪
♪ Blessed by the cornbread Mama’s been fixin’ ♪
Can we, uh, move the platter closer to Lexie?
Yeah.
No, that’s great, Oscar, but now you’re in the shot.
[producer] Get out of the shot, numbnuts!
[Oscar gasps]
[“Thicc As Thieves” ends] Don’t look at me. That’s your nepo hire.
I’m Amber. Aloha.
[Trey] Good to meet you.
Mahalo. Which island are you from?
Oh, I’m from Cleveland.
Oh, well, very nice lei.
[chuckles] You have no idea.
[chuckles] I like you. That’s funny. You, uh… You been to the islands, then?
[Amber] No, I haven’t, but maybe you could take me.
[lively western music playing]
[Dawn] Mmm.
What is Dawn doing?
Eating a hot wing.
But nobody eats on reality shows.
You’re looking like a tall glass of milk.
[Trey, chuckling] Thank you. Farmraised, you know.
Oh, okay.
Hi.
I’m Jasmine.
Jasmine. Oh!
Like the scent!
Smell has the strongest link to memory.
I… I guess I will not be forgetting you then, huh, Jasmine?
[coughing and gasping] Here.
[lively western music playing] Ah. It’s a little spicy.
Excuse us. Goodbye.
Oh yeah, there you go.
Hey there, I’m Heather.
Heather.
You’re a big boy.
I am.
Mm, calluses. How did you get these?
Well…
Wait, don’t tell me.
I want to imagine it.
[Heather grunts] Hi.
Yeah.
I’m Eve.
Hi.
God, I love your baby blues.
Thank you.
Speaking of babies…
Uhhuh.
…I asked the producers to mock up a photo of what our kids would look like.
Okay. Oh!
[Trey chuckles] He has your lips.
That’s terrifying. You should hide that.
Hey there, Prince Charming.
Hi.
Hi. My parents named me Cindy.
Cindy.
But you can call me Cinderella.
Hm.
[quiet whimsical music playing] And I don’t have to be home by midnight.
No pumpkin hour for you, noted.
No, sir.
Well, hello.
Hi.
I’m Lexie Miller from Nashville.
You know there’d be no Texas without Tennessee, right?
All those good folks who volunteered at the Alamo and all.
Davy Crockett was my hero as a kid.
Oh! Mine too.
[whispering] Dawn. Dawn.
[mimics click sound]
[sighs] You’ve got a bit of dust on your face.
Oh, uh…
May I?
Yeah. Is it…
Uh…
There. [chuckles] Why don’t you keep this close to your heart and remember the Alamo?
Yes, ma’am.
[chuckles] You do know we lost at the Alamo, right?
That’s a very good point.
[chuckles sarcastically] Right.
[mock gasp] Hey, Gordito.
[chuckles] Of all the ranches in all the world, you gotta walk into mine.
And I’ll walk right out of it if you just play along.
You know, you ain’t gonna find a man like me in France.
That’s the whole point.
What is going on?
Wait, hold on. This doesn’t make sense.
[groans] Hey!
Carl. Hold up.
Hey.
Do you two know each other?
Yeah. We met a couple weeks ago at a bar.
We did meet before.
That disqualifies me, right?
Absolutely.
Bye, bitch.
Uh, okay.
Not necessarily, if it was just a casual interaction.
Did you guys, uh, have sex?
No!
No. No.
Well, do you feel stalked or threatened, Trey?
[chuckling] What? Me, stalk him?
[suspenseful music playing] No, I don’t feel stalked. I’m good.
I’ll stalk you.
Hey, you’re right there, aren’t you?
Mmhm.
Yeah.
[sinister music playing] You see that over there?
Dawn wants a Frenchman.
I hear they’re great kissers.
[all] Mmm.
[man] Mmhm.
I’m pretty good myself.
[women chuckling] She can stay.
[women shout angrily] Uh, Frank, Spike, get over here. Let’s get some footage about the coincidence.
[indistinct chatter] All right. So, here we go.
Dawn, why don’t you tell us what was going through your mind when you saw Trey today?
[upbeat music playing] I thought, “There’s that poor guy from the bar with the wicked rash and scorching case of halitosis.”
“I sure hope he marries me.”
[upbeat music fades] Huh.
We can cut that part out.
Great. Uh, well, hi. I’m Trey McAllen.
[upbeat music resumes] The ladies, interesting bunch, isn’t it?
Fantastic.
Some of them are more… more excited than others.
Oh, wow. He’s just so gorgeous. [giggling] Cinderella, she’s lost her slipper somewhere.
I think you’ll find it on the ranch.
I know Trent and I just met, but he’s my soulmate.
Lexie, wow. She’s… she’s incredible.
I know Trey and I just met, but it already feels like he’s my soulmate.
I know Trey and I just met…
Oh, Eve, that was the one that… She keeps sneaking up on me and saying,
[whispering] “I want your baby. I want your baby.”
But I know he’s my soulmate.
[chuckles] Whoo.
Dawn, wow. She’s a little spicy thing. I like her.
Nope. Not my soulmate.
[Carl] Damn it, Dawn.
What?
She’s playing hard to get. I’ll get her.
[upbeat music fades]
[suspenseful music playing] Amber.
Will you accept this spur?
I will.
[chuckles] Thank you.
Thank you.
[Amber squeals giddily]
[Rachel] Aww.
Now, ladies, there are only two spurs left, and the next one goes to Lexie.
[chuckles] Excuse me, ladies.
[woman chattering] Lexie, do you accept this spur?
Mmhm.
I thought you’d never ask. [chuckles] And the final spur of the night goes to…
[suspenseful music swelling]
[music fades] Dawn.
[women gasp faintly] Yes!
What are you doing? You were supposed to cut me.
Frenchmen are overrated. Let me prove it to you.
Dawn.
Will you accept this spur?
Thanks, but I brought my own.
Well, I’d like you to have this one.
[clears throat] Take it!
Great. All right.
Yes!
[Trey] Ladies, it has been truly an honor, but if you do not have a spur, this is the end of the rodeo for you.
[women sobbing]
[sentimental music playing]
[Lexie] There’s a line, honey. Have some manners.
[women chattering]
[sentimental music fades]
[scoffs] I cannot believe this.
We made it!
[Jasmine giggles] I know we’re technically in competition, but I am so glad that we’re both still here.
[giggles] What do you think of Trey?
I think that he’s annoying as hell.
Do you need help with that?
Yeah, please. Thanks.
What do you think of him?
Mm, he’s handsome.
Seems nice.
[chuckles faintly] I don’t meet many males like him in the lab where I work.
What are the males like at the lab?
Mice, mostly.
Oh.
[both chuckle] So Trey’s just not your type?
I wouldn’t say that. He’s just not what I need right now.
Hm. I sense sparks between you two.
Well, I work with sparks every day, and you just have to snuff them out before they set fire.
It’s easy.
[upbeat music playing]
[yoga instructor] Come out of that lunge, placing your hands into your heart center.
Now flip that dog and go into wild thing.
This is nice!
[people chattering]
[Heather] Thanks, Oscar.
[women giggling]
[upbeat music fades]
[horse whinnies]
[“Sex Bomb” by Kashus Kulpepper playing]
[man] Oh.
[gasps]
[man] Oh, baby.
Ooh, yeah.
Oh, listen to this.
♪ Smile on my, baby, you satellite ♪
♪ Infrared you see me Move through the night ♪
[man continues singing]
♪ You can give me more and more And coming up to score ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ You can turn me upside down And inside out ♪
♪ You can make me feel The real deal, uhhuh ♪
♪ And I can give it to you anytime Because you’re mine ♪
♪ Sex bomb, sex bomb ♪
♪ You’re my sex bomb ♪
♪ You can give it to me When I need to come along ♪
♪ Sex bomb, sex bomb ♪
♪ You’re my sex bomb ♪
♪ And maybe you can turn me on Turn me on ♪
[“Sex Bomb” stops]
[gasps] Morning, Dawn.
It’s gonna be a hot one.
Morning.
Damn, I’m good.
[lively cinematic western music playing]
[chattering] Yeah, daddy.
Howdy, ladies. How are we?
[all] Hi!
Look like you’re ready to work. I figured we spend the day getting dirty.
How’s that sound?
[Amber] You’re talking my language.
Then follow me.
[women] Yeah!
Yeah.
Yes, please.
You don’t stand a chance dressed like that.
Exactly.
Girl, this is heavy.
You got it, Amber.
Look at you. Teamwork making the dream work.
Scooping horse shit was not on my list.
No, it was so beautiful.
The horses and I harmonized.
[harmonizing]
[horses whinnying] Whoo!
[sneezes] You okay?
I think I’m allergic to… [sneezes] …hay.
[both gasp]
[chicken squawks] If you jump, I’m jumping.
I don’t know what it was.
Look at you go. Those workouts are paying off.
If you thought that was rough, try farting in those elimination dresses.
I didn’t even know we had goats. [chuckles] That could be your daddy. Yeah.
Where’d you find… Oh, okay.
Yeah, her clock is ticking.
Today, I got one step closer to breastfeeding.
[bleats]
[chuckles] Need a little help there, sweetheart?
Thank you, cowboy.
I’m a natural at taming stallions.
[horse nickers] Rachel, you’re standing in horse shit.
Oh no! Who put that there?
[screams]
[lively cinematic western music stops] Oh! Sure you don’t want to lose that hoodie? It’s hot.
No, I’m fine, but you and I need to talk.
You’re dying to get me alone, ain’t you?
No.
I don’t know how they do things in France, but I twostep with a woman before I waltz with her.
You’re twostepping with ten women.
Mmhm.
And no offense, but it’s clear you’re overcompensating.
Ladies know these things.
I’ll keep that in mind next time I see one.
[chuckles]
[Trey grunts]
[chuckles and groans] How’s that for a twostep?
Pretty good. Come here.
[both grunt] Hey.
You are sending me home tonight.
Understand?
What happens if I don’t?
Oh, come on now. Give that back. Hey.
Promise me you will.
Do what?
Stop smiling. I’m serious.
So am I, and I love that hat. Give it back.
Wait. It’s a really nice fit.
[upbeat music playing] I think I might keep it.
Okay. That’s my lucky hat and I want it back.
No! No!
Ah, okay.
You’re not getting the hat! Stay back!
Whoa!
[chuckles] You thought I was gonna fall in.
Yeah.
But I didn’t.
I have lightningfast reflexes.
Of course you do.
Ah.
See you at elimination.
[upbeat music fades]
[door opens]
[groans]
[sighs] I’m gonna kill him.
Before or after you kiss him?
What?
You two are like charged particles ready to explode.
Why are you fighting it?
Can you keep a secret?
Yes!
[giggles] Okay.
I got accepted into art school in France.
[screams and giggles] But I need to get kicked off of this show so I can use the appearance fee to pay for it.
Oh.
This all makes more sense now.
But why just settle for the fee? The date challenges start tomorrow.
I don’t want to win a date.
You don’t just win dates. You win cash. You could rack up 2030k.
Okay. My sister left that part out.
That changes everything.
[chuckles] For me, I don’t need the money.
I have a patent pending on treatment for male pattern baldness.
Damn.
So, wait, you came here for love?
[gentle upbeat music playing] I did.
And you think Trey’s your guy?
Mmm, I think we might be too different.
I’m just excited to be here and have fun, collective interactions within the social context.
Well, all right, roomie. If I’m going to get stuck here, let’s win some dates!
Yes!
[upbeat music swelling]
[music fades]
[owl hooting]
[intriguing music playing]
[women chattering] Ladies, step right up. Come on close.
Is it you? Is it me? Who could it be?
Hi.
[Trey] How are you?
Welcome to tonight’s… challenge.
[intriguing music intensifies]
[women chattering excitedly]
[music builds to a climax]
[music stops]
[all screaming excitedly] Yeehaw!
Now, whoever lasts longest on the bull gets you five grand in cash and a date with yours truly.
Let’s get to riding.
[buzzer rings]
[“Where Ya At” by Hardy playing]
[screaming]
[laughing]
[screams] Oh! Nice.
[buzzer rings]
[screaming] Whoa! What’s she doing?
[laughing and chattering indistinctly]
[screams and grunts] I’m okay!
She’s alive!
[buzzer rings] Whoo!
[squealing]
[screams and grunts] And she’s down!
[groans] That’s bullshit!
Next up is Dawn.
[Jasmine] Go, Dawn! You got this!
[all cheering]
[Trey] Show us what you got!
Whoohoo! [chuckles] Ride it! Go on!
Come on, cowgirl! You got this! Yeah! Stay on! Stay on!
Whoohoo! Whoo!
Whoa!
[“Where Ya At” ends]
[Rachel groans] That was so fun.
And I’ll tell you what, you look good up there.
[women mutter] I’m up, babe.
Yes, ma’am.
[woman 1] Here we go.
[woman 2] Okay.
Low and slow, if you please.
[woman 3] “Low and slow.”
[women] Whoo!
[“Hey Cowboy” by Devon Cole playing]
[woman] Oh. Oh.
[gasps faintly]
♪ Hey cowboy With that look in your eyes ♪
[woman hollers] Wow, okay, this took a turn.
[women hollering] Am I allowed to watch this?
[gasps]
♪ You can keep your boots on, baby ♪
♪ Keep your boots on, baby ♪
♪ I’m a woman, not a lady ♪
[woman 1] Whoo!
[woman 2] Go, Lexie!
[“Hey Cowboy” ends] What just happened?
Looks like date night for you and me.
Yes, it is. Yeah.
Lexie just bullied you out of five grand and won the date.
[woman] She asked for “low and slow.”
Ladies first.
Thank you. Looks like a romantic setup.
Oh, they look good.
It’s good. It’s nice we didn’t need body doubles this year.
[dreamy upbeat music playing]
[Lexie] Mmhm.
Let me get that champagne.
Oh, look at this. Strawberries and whipped cream. My favorite.
Watch. She’s not gonna touch them.
Make a wish.
[squealing and laughing] There it is.
Look at that. [Lexie chuckling]
[Trey] Good job, huh?
Cheers.
Cheers.
[intriguing music playing] Well, it is nice having you all to myself.
It is, isn’t it?
Mmhm.
[Trey] So you are from Nashville.
Ah! Was that a coyote?
[Trey] You’re a professional dancer?
I just don’t do coyotes.
I am a very successful content creator and brand ambassador.
Do you enjoy it?
Mm, I like having record high viewer engagement. What about you?
[Trey] Yeah, I want to build this place into something important that lasts, that has a future.
Well, as long as you’ve got WiFi and a helicopter pad…
Mm.
…I think I know someone interested in the job.
[Trey and Lexie chuckle]
[Trey] Who do you think that is?
[Lexie chuckles] You’re too much.
[dramatic musical stinger]
[all gasp]
[Lexie] You play too much.
Shh.
[Trey and Lexie chuckle]
[man] What are you doing?
[Lexie groans] My neck is so stiff from that ride. It just…
He’s not going to fall for that.
Mmmm.
Uh, you want me to massage it?
Would you?
Idiot.
[Lexie] That’d be great.
[Trey] sure.
Hands might be cold from the champagne.
That’s all right. Get in there.
[sighs happily] I’m taking notes. Copious.
The screen is fogging up.
[moans happily] Oh, Trey!
[groans] That hits the spot! Oh, good Lord!
Are you okay? I don’t think the bull was going that fast. You just…
Trey?
Yeah.
You and I would make a great team. And I think you know that.
But, uh, just in case you don’t…
[gentle upbeat music playing] Hey. Hey. Hey.
[gasping]
[screaming]
[music becomes dramatic and tense]
[music stops]
[Trey sputters] What the hell was that?
[all gasping] Oh, hey! I didn’t even see you guys there.
No, that’s Dawn!
The ground over there is slippery.
[Lexie gasps] Somebody should really look into that.
[Trey] Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
What happened? It was the most romantic night of my life.
Until Shamu showed up.
[light playful music playing] I’d probably say more like a betta fish fighting over her territory, killing other fish in the area, and surviving in that little swamp of hers.
She’s like an evil stepsister.
She’s just doing what she needs to do to win. I respect that.
But she tries that on my date, I’ll ♪♪♪♪ that girl up.
It was a really, really slippery deck.
[light playful music stops]
[bluesy country western music playing]
[Trey] Ladies, welcome to today’s challenge.
All the materials you see before you have been sourced from our organic farm.
And the prize today, $10,000.
And a date with me…
[women] Ooh!
…where we will be cooking a farmtotable dinner together.
Ooh!
Yeah!
So, if you’ve got an axe to grind, this challenge is for you.
Just remember, closest to the bull’seye wins.
Chopchop! Let’s get to it, shall we?
Yeah.
Chopchop.
[women chuckling]
[lively folksy music playing]
[grunts]
[axe clatters]
[grunts] Mm.
[kiss]
[axe clatters] Sorry, Cindy.
[exhales] Okay, you got it.
[screams] Whoo!
[Dawn] Yes!
That was so good!
I did it. Good luck.
Thanks.
Oh!
Ah!
Watch this, baby.
[all] Oh!
All right. I’ll call the lawyers.
[lively folksy music stops]
[moans faintly]
[sighing] All right, ladies. Well, since Heather has knocked herself out, Dawn, you are the winner of this challenge.
Congrats.
Let’s not throw axes next season.
[chuckling] Yeah.
Why am I talking to you?
I don’t know.
[gentle, upbeat music playing] Should I be concerned that you’re so good with handling sharp objects?
Maybe.
Yeah?
[Dawn] I use different tools on my sculptures.
Uh, so you’re an artist?
I haven’t formally trained or anything like that.
Look.
[gentle, upbeat music stops] If you’re good, then you’re good.
Uh, quick question for you.
What are we cooking?
Watermelon mint salad.
Uhhuh.
Fresh corn succotash.
Yeah.
And rosemary drop biscuits.
[chuckling] Oh my God. Should we just get married already?
All right? Carl, show’s over. Send them all home.
We’re getting hitched. It’s done. It’s over.
[Dawn] Okay.
You’re doing great.
Calm down.
Why?
This is the only thing that I can make.
Well, that’s fine, because the only thing I can make is a grilled cheese sandwich.
[chuckles] But there’s one thing I can grow really well.
[quiet heartfelt music playing] Mm. Mmhm.
Try that.
[chuckles faintly] Sorry. Got a little, uh…
Something.
[alarm beeping] Get the biscuits. They’re ready.
Biscuits?
What about ’em?
Get those biscuits.
God. Don’t lock eyes. Don’t lock eyes.
So…
What did you say?
Nothing.
Um, where’s the honey?
I’m the honey.
It’s a bad joke. It was terrible. Honey’s in the pantry.
Of course. Thanks.
Somewhere. Look around.
[wrappers crinkling]
[gentle twangy guitar music playing]
[whispers] Honey.
[gentle heartfelt music playing] This is the most delicious meal that I’ve ever had. Thank you.
[chuckles] You’re welcome.
Mmhm.
That’ll be $10,000.
Oh, um, check’s in the back.
What was it like growing up in a place like this?
I didn’t.
I was only allowed to spend my summers here. My mom wanted to travel.
My dad didn’t really like the country life, so Jesus took care of the ranch, and my dad took me back to the city.
So you are a city boy.
No. Now, Dad is.
But not me.
I don’t think he’ll ever understand this.
You wanting to be here?
My need to be here.
You ever feel so pulled by something that you’d do anything to get it?
I do.
What is that for you?
Actually, we’re gonna have to continue this at a later date. Uh, I gotta go.
Uh, sorry, why is that?
There’s that elimination tonight.
Right.
And I don’t suppose you’re sending me packing?
You still wanna go? I’m sorry, is this about the kiss with Lexie?
[scoffs] Okay.
I…
Don’t flatter yourself.
[chuckles] But I cannot believe that you fell for the whole,
[mimics Lexie] “My neck is so sore after that ride” act.
[chuckles] My grandma could’ve ridden that bull at that speed.
[Trey] Hm. Um… Um…
I promised the girls I’d bring leftovers.
Gotcha.
Well, have fun.
See you tomorrow, Dawn.
Back up. Make a hole.
Looks like I’m staying.
Yeah, you are.
Mm.
I love it.
Good morning, ladies. How y’all doing?
[women] Good morning!
Welcome to Cowboy Boot Camp.
[upbeat energetic music playing] Now after Eve’s elimination, it’s down to you six.
And we’ve got a very big challenge prepared for you today, and it’s worth a date with me.
[women cheer] All right. Oh, and $15,000.
[cheering wildly] To start things off, we’re gonna be hitting the tire run.
Make your way over to the hay maze and gunny sacks.
Find the feed buckets, run to the exit, walk the plank, come around and feed the pigs. They’ll love you for it.
Fivesecond staggered start.
Just to keep things interesting, we’ve paired up the contestants.
So, we’ve got Heather and Cinderella, Jasmine and Amber, and then, uh, Lexie and Dawn.
[Amber] It’s me and you, girl.
We did that.
Once you make it to the plank, it’s a freeforall.
Every woman for herself.
[music stops] And the fastest woman to do it wins.
Cowboy Boot Camp, let’s go!
[women chattering]
[lively music playing]
[people chattering]
[both groan] Damn it!
A terrible day to have eyes.
Frank, please fix this.
Shit!
[chuckling]
[megaphone feedback] Everybody in your positions.
[chuckling] Three, two…
Oscar.
Go!
[Jasmine squeals] Come on, Jasmine!
Okay!
How you doing, cute stuff?
[dramatic adventurous music playing]
[screams] Go!
Get up, girl!
Here.
Dawn, what are you doing? Leave her! Get your butt to the maze!
[gasps]
[Heather grunts] Go!
[grunting] Oh, hell no. Cindy, get up on this thing.
[screaming] That’s scary.
Yeah.
Come on, we can still win this!
Come on.
Oh.
Hurry up.
They’ve used random mouse algorithm.
I have no idea what you said.
I know where we’re going.
Come on, girl.
[gasping] Let’s go.
Get in here.
Okay.
Come on.
Straight. Right!
Right.
Keep going.
[women shouting] It’s this way!
Where are you going?
We have to follow Jasmine!
What does she know?
She’s a genius!
Oh no. The wrong way. Ow, my knee.
Work together!
Left, right! Left, right!
[women shouting]
[Jasmine laughs] Girl, I don’t…
Okay, got my bucket.
Come on!
Why are you so mean to me? I’m trying.
Because…
[Amber] Hey, baby!
That was so good.
We made it!
[both gasp] Oh no!
Oh!
[shouting] Yes, that’s it. All right. Good job.
Oh, crap. We forgot our buckets.
Once you get to the plank, every woman for herself!
Ooh!
[screams and gasps]
[suspenseful music playing] You’re going down.
You first.
[suspenseful music becomes dramatic]
[both grunt]
[both grunt]
[both grunting] You’re going down!
[both scream]
[screaming]
[screaming]
[dramatic adventurous music playing] Get her, Dawn!
[Dawn groaning] Strong thighs!
Pilates, baby!
Hey, Prince.
Great job. All right!
[man] Mud pit! Let’s go!
[both groaning and grunting] Get off me, you redneck bitch!
[Frank] Spike, clear the shot!
What?
[gasps and pants]
[both scream]
[Lexie] Get over here!
I’m coming in!
[screams]
[screaming]
[sobbing] I can’t handle this anymore.
This is not my fairy tale ending. I want out!
[gasps] And I want a cheeseburger!
This is amazing!
Hey, Carl, can you let go of Frank? You’re ruining the shot.
[dramatic adventurous music continues]
[all shouting] Hey, break it up, ladies! Break it up!
Actually, this is sexy as hell!
Whoa, easy.
All right. All right..
[screaming] Come on, now. Let me. Let go.
[Dawn grunting] Easy, tiger.
Shut up, Heather!
You’re doing great.
Bitch.
Oh.
[dramatic adventurous music swelling]
[squealing excitedly] I declare Jasmine the winner of this challenge!
[Amber] What?
Hey, attaboy, Oscar. You said that with some cojones.
That’s what I’m talking about. My boy.
[Carl] Dawn, hang on.
I want to get testimonials from Dawn and Lexie before we hose them off.
No. No more testimonials!
[Carl] Dawn. Come back.
[not amplified] Get back here.
No, don’t press that button!
[loud alarm blares]
[all screaming]
[Amber] Oh, shoot! What is that?
[horses whinnying and nickering]
[Carl] It’s broken. I don’t know.
[woman] This is so loud!
[Trey] The horses!
[thudding] Get back!
[horses whinnying]
[man] Oh my God, the horses!
[Dawn] Get behind the wagon!
[lively dramatic music continues] Dawn, get out of there! Dawn!
Amber! Look out!
[music builds to a climax] Why are you hiding behind me?
What’s happening?
[Carl] Everybody keep calm!
[screaming]
[dramatic adventurous music swelling] Oh, what the hell?
[man] Oh, they are gone.
[woman] What just happened?
Oh my God.
Everyone okay?
[people chattering]
[dramatic adventurous music stops] Hey, Trey, let’s get a sound bite…
Carl, I’m not thinking about your show right now. I gotta go save my horses.
[dramatic music playing] Jesus, I’m gonna ride out back. Take a walkie.
Okay.
Grab the trailer.
I’ll meet you out there. Hey, what are you doing?
Come on, you could use the extra hand.
Let me help.
She does have skills.
[dramatic music swelling]
[music becomes gentle and upbeat] There they are.
Whoa.
These are the last two, right?
That’s it.
We got Carmen and her foal. We’ll pony them back.
[Jesus] Great news. See you at the ranch.
Shall we get them?
Hopefully they don’t run.
Thank you.
[gentle upbeat music fades]
[Trey clicks teeth]
[gentle upbeat music playing]
[horse whinnies] Hey, come here.
[Trey clicks teeth]
[chuckles] Come on. There she is.
Let’s go home.
[Dawn] Come on.
[Trey] Appreciate your help today.
[Dawn] You’re welcome.
I guess horses and reality TV don’t really mix, do they?
No. No, they do not.
[chuckles] How did Hollywood find you here anyway?
Something I did about a year ago went viral.
[upbeat music fades] That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say?
That’s all you get. [laughs] What did you go viral for?
Oh God.
There was a kitten stuck up in a tree, and I was just riding by and I…
Oh my God.
What?
Oh my God. You’re “Cowboy Saves Kitten.”
[chuckling] No.
You are. That’s you.
Nope.
How did I never put this together? This is amazing.
When you handed it to that little girl who was crying?
Uhhuh.
My heart melted a little.
If I’d known that was gonna get your attention, I would’ve just stashed kittens all the way around this ranch.
[gentle upbeat music playing] This is really nice.
Being out here.
Mm.
You’re an enigma, you know that?
Why?
One minute, I’m convinced you hate this life, the next, I can’t see you doing anything different.
I don’t hate this.
I just hate that it’s the only thing I’ve ever known.
Yeah?
[upbeat music fades] Well, it’s been quite the day.
[women chuckle] My final spur goes to…
[gentle suspenseful music playing]
[Rachel gasps faintly] Dawn.
[person] Cindy’s out.
Aww.
[music fades] Will you accept this spur?
[intriguing music playing] No, I forfeit my winnings to stay!
Can she do that?
[Jasmine] She could.
But she hasn’t won anything.
I…
love you, Trey.
And I know we can make this work.
[moody heartfelt music playing] You haven’t won anything, Cindy.
Oh.
But…
I won this crown, and that took real dedication.
[sighs]
[sniffles]
[voice wavering] She really loved him.
Okay.
Come here.
You did so good. Amazing.
[moody heartfelt music swelling]
[speaks French]
[woman] Bye, Cindy.
[women] Bye.
Bye, girl.
[Cindy] I’ll miss you.
She’s a fruit loop.
Oh, the show gave me this before the ceremony.
Should I read it? Yeah? Okay, all right.
[women] Yes!
“We promise that this is your chance to travel with Trey all the way to France.”
[women gasp] “Make sure Trey knows who best to cherish, because only the last two will go to…”
[suspenseful music playing] “…Paris.”
[women chattering] Paris?
We’re going to Paris after all!
[women scream excitedly]
[women chattering] Sorry, honey. Excuse me.
Okay.
That must have been some roundup today.
Oh. What’s going on?
[ominous music playing] Really clever way to get a date without earning it.
Yeah, I’m so glad my stampede plan worked.
There is something sus about you.
[Dawn] I didn’t see you offering to help.
I got my eye on her.
We’ve all got our eyes on her. She’s on the monitor.
I haven’t figured it out yet, but when I do, I’m betting the only spurs you’re walking out of here with are the ones on your crusty old boots.
[gentle melodic music playing] Excuse me, honey.
[gentle melodic music fades]
[tapping]
[snickers]
[door opens] Have fun.
[Dawn chuckles]
[gentle twangy guitar music playing]
[snoring] Why are you so freaking fast? What time is it?
[Trey] Almost 6:00. Don’t worry about it.
[intriguing music playing]
[Trey sighs and pants] The best thing about electric trucks?
What?
They don’t make a sound when you’re sneaking out. Ready?
Hell yeah, let’s get out of here.
Yeah.
[“Getaway” by Harper Grace playing]
♪ Feels like a getaway ♪
[Dawn] Whoo!
[Trey chuckles] So long, Carl.
[both chuckle] I’m so happy to get out of there.
It’s so nice there’s no more cameras. This is great.
So where are you taking me?
Ooh.
I cannot tell you. I have an idea in my head.
Can’t tell me, huh?
Nope.
All right, cool. I like surprises.
Good.
[both chuckle]
♪ Just take me anywhere and everywhere ♪
[“Getaway” fades] So this is it?
Yeah, there’s a, uh, little trail through the woods there.
Wait. Is this where you take me to the woods and you murder me?
Oh yeah. Oh, I forgot my chainsaw back at the house.
You mind if I grab that?
Yeah, next time we come.
[Trey] Yeah, that’s fine. You would make great compost.
[Dawn] Thanks.
[both laughing]
[Trey] Big old step. There you go.
Whoop!
[gentle upbeat music playing] This is stunning.
It’s my favorite spot.
It’s my hideout.
So how’d you find this place? Are we still on the ranch?
Yeah. Yeah, we are.
[gentle upbeat music fades] I got lost one day when I was about 12.
And stumbled upon this place.
It seems I keep finding the best things when I least expect it.
I couldn’t believe it when you walked in that first day.
Why, what’d you think?
“There’s the crazy girl from the bar with the spurs”?
Oh, now, don’t sell yourself short.
Crazy, yeah. Just a little bit.
The spurs were great, but…
[chuckles] But you were a sight to behold that night.
Truly.
God, I really like you.
I really like you too.
But I wish I didn’t.
Hm. Okay.
Now, why’s that?
The timing sucks and the show sucks.
[Trey] Hm.
[quiet contemplative music playing] I just, I really wish that I…
I could’ve gotten to know you under different circumstances.
Did you know that I went back to the bar the night after we first met looking for you?
You did?
Yeah, I did.
And you weren’t there.
Point is, in real life, we weren’t given the chance to get to know each other.
But here, on this show, we have.
And for that, I’m grateful.
Me too.
[chuckles quietly] You and I have something special, Dawn.
I don’t… I don’t know why you keep trying to pretend we don’t.
I don’t think I want to anymore.
[heartfelt music playing]
[heartfelt music fades]
[intriguing music playing]
[door closes] Ahh!
Sup?
Howdy.
[grunting]
[Heather continues grunting]
[intriguing music fades]
[horse flutters lips] I can’t believe I grew up right around here and didn’t even know it existed.
How far away is your house?
Like, 45 minutes.
Oh. Why don’t we go there?
Right now?
Yeah, why not? You could, uh… You could show me your art.
I don’t know.
My art is just…
It’s kind of personal.
Mm.
And what we did back there wasn’t?
[“Love Me Like I Need” by Jaidyn Hurst playing]
♪ There’s no one else, it’s only you And we’re the perfect fit ♪
You’re right. I wanna go to the show.
No, we’re going to my house.
I wanna go back and do the show.
We’re going now.
[singing continues]
♪ Tell me what you want I’ll be the girl of your dreams ♪
♪ Love me like I need I’ll give you everything… ♪
This is it.
This is amazing.
Wow, you did all this?
[Dawn] Yeah.
[“Love Me Like I Need” stops] Really?
This is gorgeous.
Huh.
I’m picking up some vibes from it. I’m sensing something…
We’ve got a ladder, right?
Climbing our way up and then, it’s broken. Broken, broken, broken.
[contemplative music playing] What’s the golden apple mean?
The apple represents the impossible dream.
And what’s that dream for you?
A girl can’t give away all her secrets.
You haven’t told me any. Oh, wait, no. You did tell me one.
You want to go to France. Hey, I got an idea.
What would you say to coming to France with me? Hm? For the finale.
Really?
Yeah, why not?
You know, finish out the rest of the show.
Spend a couple of weeks there.
And if we still feel the same way that I think we do, come back to Texas with me.
Give this thing a real shot. What do you say?
Come back?
[Birdie] Who’s there?
Oh!
Birdie, it’s me!
[all] Dawn?
Well, who’s that?
Uh, Trey McAllen, ma’am. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.
He’s from The Honey Pot.
Ahh.
You don’t sound French.
Trade you.
So, Paris, Texas.
That’s a pretty crazy twist.
[country western music playing] So I’m guessing you and Dawn are getting along on that show?
Oh, yeah, I’d say we are, actually. What do you think?
[Birdie] Maxine, can you grab the milk?
Oh, I can get that. Out in the barn with the cows?
[chuckles] No, it’s just in the fridge.
Okay, I got you.
He’s hot.
[snickers] Dawn, are these your parents?
Oh, uh…
Yeah, that’s my mom and dad.
That’s her daddy, Alex. And that’s my daughter, Jenny.
She was the art teacher here until she passed.
Oh, I’m sorry.
She would be so proud of Dawn getting into art s…
Trey is “Cowboy Saves Kitten.”
Oh.
No way!
Yeah, that’s him.
Yep.
[all] Ohh!
Oh God, there it is.
Do you mind getting eggs out of the chicken coop?
It’s right by the barn.
Gotcha.
Watch out for the rooster. He doesn’t like male competition.
Yes, ma’am.
[squealing] You were right.
Hey, don’t mention art school to Trey, okay?
Why not?
He doesn’t know that when the show comes to an end, I plan on staying in Paris.
I just have to find the right time to tell him.
[Trey] Oh, son of a biscuit! Get off!
[chuckling] Rooster got him!
That rascal.
[all chuckling]
[Dawn] I’m really sorry about your hand.
No, it’s fine. I really like your family.
They’re great.
They liked you too.
Good.
Hey, you even won over Maxine, and that is not an easy thing to do.
I think she’s fantastic, and we’re going to be best buds.
Yeah.
She is pretty great.
Spend a lot of time with your grandmother growing up?
My parents died in a car accident when we were really young.
So, yeah, Birdie raised us.
How about you? Do you have siblings?
God, no.
My parents barely stayed married long enough to have me.
So, nothing.
Was it lonely?
I’ve grown used to it.
You know, I kind of thought that if I worked really hard and I got the ranch back up and running, I’d have everything I ever wanted.
And do you?
It would be perfect if I had somebody to share it with.
[gentle upbeat music playing] I need to tell you something.
It’s gonna have to wait.
[Carl] Where have you been?
We got the welcoming committee.
Out!
[people chattering]
[woman] This is ridiculous.
Nice of you two to finally grace us with your presence.
Hey, Trey, you have to go and get changed.
You and Jasmine have a date at the John Deere factory.
Yes, absolutely right.
This is the second time you’ve gone incommunicado on us.
Next time, you’ll both be hearing from our lawyers.
Relax, Carl. It was my idea.
All interaction between you two will be in an official capacity.
You will have cameras, you will have crew, you will have unrealistic dates in fantasy settings with incredible production value!
[whimsical music playing] All right.
Just be pert and peppy for the next elimination.
See ya.
Dawn!
Hey, Trey, can I, uh, talk to you for a sec?
Can it wait two minutes?
Oh, no, trust me. You’re going to want to hear this.
Okay. Uh…
Yeah, come on inside.
All right.
[Jasmine] Yes, I finally won a date.
[Trey] Jasmine, will you accept the spur?
[Jasmine] I will!
[Trey] Thank you.
[Jasmine giggles]
[gentle heartfelt music playing] And the, uh, final spur of the night goes to…
A girl who opened my eyes to something I didn’t see coming.
[gentle contemplative music playing]
[chuckles faintly] And, uh, that girl is…
[suspenseful music playing] Lexie.
[woman] What?
[quiet dramatic music playing]
[chuckles faintly] Lexie?
[Carl exhales] Thank you.
You’re welcome.
[moody heartfelt music playing]
[inhaling] Trey.
I don’t understand.
Oh, I thought you’d be happy to start packing.
What are you talking about? What does that mean?
That means you got what you wanted, doesn’t it?
[whispering] Something’s wrong.
Yeah.
Trey, wait!
Hey.
Sorry, you can’t follow him.
[breathing deeply] You have to go pack.
I know you’re the reason he cut Dawn.
Hey, I saved Trey from that snake.
I’m sorry, Dawn.
[moody heartfelt music continues]
[shudders faintly]
[moody heartfelt music fades] Thanks.
Okay, you know what? I’m going to say it. I don’t get this Trey guy.
Because I saw the two of you together, and he was way feeling you.
I really thought that we had something.
[sighs] Honey, I’m sorry.
I really thought he was nice. I’m surprised too.
I’m just glad that cock got him.
[all laugh] So when do you leave?
That came out wrong.
Tomorrow night. I still have to sign up for classes and get an apartment.
I’m really sorry that it’s so soon.
Me too.
But I sort of already moved into your room.
Do you still need a ride to the library, you little brat?
Em’s taking me.
Oh.
We’re going to get milkshakes after.
Honey, we’re just fine. You know I’m so proud of you.
It was messy, but somehow, someway, you have managed to get yourself to Paris, France.
[chuckling] That’s something.
Ah.
[heartfelt music playing] It’s your turn now.
[gentle upbeat music playing]
[horse flutters lips and nickers]
[“Meet Me In Paris” by Violet Skies playing]
♪ The way I wanna kiss you In this autumn light ♪
♪ I’ve never been real close But I wanna try ♪
♪ Wanna try ♪
♪ You make me change my mind ♪
♪ I could cry, aching to be close So we could burn it down ♪
♪ Fly across the ocean ‘Cause I know I found ♪
♪ The only person Who could ever change my mind ♪
♪ So meet me in Paris ♪
♪ And say that you love me ♪
[saxophone music playing]
♪ Just leave everything, it don’t matter ♪ ‘Cause we are in love ♪
♪ Meet me in Paris ♪
♪ Down by the river ♪
♪ It’s now or it’s never I hope it’s forever with doves ♪
♪ Meet me in Paris ♪
♪ Won’t you? ♪
♪ Meet me in Paris ♪
♪ Won’t you? ♪
[teacher speaks French]
[speaks French] You’re doing good work.
Thank you.
♪ Oh in Paris, in Paris ♪
♪ In Paris ♪
♪ Paris ♪
♪ Mmm ♪
[Dawn] Merci.
[“Meet Me In Paris” by Violet Skies ends]
[people chatter in French] May I?
Well, I promise I’m not stalking you. Accounting gave me your address.
I was actually on my way to your flat when I spotted you, so, voilà .
So you were looking for me?
I thought you might want to know that we’re shooting the finale tomorrow.
I couldn’t care less about that show.
Oh. Okay.
Who’s in the finale?
[snickers] I thought you’d never ask. We’re down to Jasmine and Lexie.
But I’m still rooting for you and Trey.
Did you miss the humiliating moment when he kicked me off the show?
No, I was there. I saw. I had a front row seat.
I also saw when Lexie showed him your letter from art school.
What?
Yeah.
She made sure to point out that it was a twoyear program.
He thinks that the whole time I was lying to him.
Well, you kind of were, Dawn. Just a little bit.
Yeah, but I had my reasons.
Oh, I know. But Trey doesn’t.
But he could.
[heartfelt music playing] How?
You forfeit your winnings and come back on the show, like Cinderella tried to that one time.
I really want to explain everything to Trey, but I can’t do it on camera.
If I do it on camera, he’s not gonna believe a single word that I say.
You know that’s not how it works, right?
Yeah, but it’s the finale. He’s gonna think I’m just there to win the money.
Maybe, or maybe not.
But don’t you think he should know the full story before he makes the biggest decision of his life? Come on, Dawn.
I can’t afford to give up my winnings.
[Rachel sighs] I can barely afford to be here right now.
No, I get it. I get it.
If you change your mind, we’re shooting tomorrow night at Café de L’Homme and it’s possible that there’s a beautiful dress being delivered to your flat as we speak.
But if you don’t come, please definitely keep the tags on. It has to go back.
I’ll leave them on.
Mmhm. [chuckles] Huh.
It’s interesting. There’s so much inspiration in the city, and yet that’s where you draw yours from.
[heartfelt music continues] Maybe it wasn’t the wrong Paris after all.
Just think about it, Dawn.
[music becomes inspirational]
[music fades]
[lively music playing] Trey, let’s get you suited.
So, it’s like we already went over.
The girls will arrive one at a time on the terrace.
Great. Let’s just get this over with.
[sighs] Come on, man. You’re in Paree.
Mm.
About to pop the question in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower.
We know I have no intention of marrying anyone, right?
Don’t worry. Lexie’s a ringer to get her own season, and Jasmine has a crush on Oscar for some reason.
Trey.
Oui.
All right. Good chat.
Grumpy’s ready. What’s your 20?
Almost there. It’s right around the corner. Thank you, merci.
[music becomes livelier] Carl?
[Carl] I’m here.
Yeah, we just landed. Uhhuh.
Great.
Oh my God. She came. Hey, Carl.
Change of plans. Uh, we have a surprise visitor.
I hate surprises.
Dawn?
What the hell is she doing here?
Hey! Circle the block!
And don’t let them out until I call you.
No, she can’t!
[screaming] Dawn! Hey.
Oh my God, you look beautiful.
Thank you.
Ah!
I assume you take cash?
How much longer can you stay without it?
Not as long as I’d hoped.
No. No. No. No. No. Dawn can’t be here.
Actually, yes, she can.
She forfeited her winnings for a meeting with Trey.
It’s too late. It’s the finale.
Shut the hell up, Carl, and please let me win us an Emmy.
[Rachel sighs] Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do.
Get cameras ready.
[lively action music playing]
[Rachel] Stay back, Carl.
[Carl] I come in peace.
Sound, can I get sound? Hey, we need to get her wired right away.
I’m gonna rally the troops.
[Rachel] Fantastic.
Where do I put it?
Costumes!
What’s the problem?
Um, help.
We’re gonna have to take this gown off.
Not helpful.
[lively action music continues]
[music fades]
[heartfelt music playing] Deep breaths. Deep breaths. [breathing deeply] You got this. All right? You got this.
[Dawn] Trey?
What’s she doing here?
Uh… Uh…
I came to apologize and explain.
There’s really no need.
You could have told me you were going to art school. I’d have believed that.
You didn’t have to pretend to be into me.
No, I wasn’t pretending.
Will you please just hear me out?
Dawn, I would be lying to you if I said I didn’t think about you all the time.
It looks really bad. You show up on the night of the finale and there’s a quarter million dollars up for grabs.
I know that it doesn’t look good.
But I’m not here for that.
Yes, I needed the money for school, so I schemed my way onto a reality dating show.
And I fell in love.
For real.
Well, you’re lucky, Dawn.
Very lucky.
Because I don’t know if the woman I fell in love with is real at all.
When I asked you to come to Paris with me, you said yes, right?
What were you gonna do once you got here?
Stay.
There it is.
For two years.
You were just going to let me propose to you in front of the entire world, and then… you were just going to leave me?
I don’t know. I… I just hoped that maybe we could figure it out together.
How could we figure it out together if you never told me?
I really did try.
Not hard enough.
I understand.
Goodbye, Trey.
[heartfelt music continues] We can cut.
[sniffling]
[chuckles] Dawn! There you are!
I have to go. I’m sorry.
Trey.
I need a minute.
I get it.
Rachel, I need a minute.
I know, but you need to hear this.
Dawn literally forfeited all of her winnings just to come back.
Dawn gave up all that money?
Every last penny. It was legit.
No, Rachel. She needs that money for school. Give that back.
I can’t. I’m so sorry. She knew exactly what she was risking.
You’ve got to figure this out.
I just saw Dawn.
She was crying.
What is going on? This is just unprofessional.
Hey, hey. Where’d she go?
Out front.
Trey, where you going?
Trey McAllen, don’t you dare go after her!
[Rachel] Oh no. No. Lexie? Lexie?
No. Jasmine!
Jasmine! Open the door.
Sorry!
Open the door, Jasmine.
Open the door, Jasmine.
I can’t hear you.
Can we get locations up here, please?
[dramatic action music playing]
[uplifting music playing] Dawn!
Why’d you give up the money?
Because you’re my dream now too.
And I wanted you to know that.
God, I missed you.
Does this mean that you forgive me?
Yeah, it does.
Listen to me. You have to stay, okay? This is your chance.
I’ll pay for your art school.
No. I could never let you do that.
Why do you have to be so stubborn, huh? Why?
[approaching footsteps] Everyone, places. Hurry.
The cavalry’s coming.
Why aren’t their mics on?
Working on it.
You shouldn’t have to choose between Paris and us.
No!
[Rachel grunts] I will fight you.
I think I know of a way that you can get both, okay?
They can’t force us to stay together, but more importantly, they can’t force us to stay apart.
Here’s the catch. The winnings can’t be shared between the two of us.
But there’s nothing to share. I gave it all up so I could come back.
Not if you win the whole Honey Pot.
You trust me?
Yeah.
Good.
I’m ready to pop the question.
[dramatic inspirational music playing] Sound is back up.
[Trey] Merci.
[heartfelt music playing] Dawn?
I knew you were different from the moment we met.
And I ain’t ever dated anyone with bigger spurs than mine.
[chuckles] It ain’t easy.
But you challenge me in ways I didn’t know I’d love.
And I love you, Dawn.
I do. And I’m so glad we found each other in Paris.
So I gotta ask.
Will you take the money?
Or will you take the honey?
I love you too.
So much.
[quiet suspenseful music playing]
[music swelling] I’m gonna take the money.
[lively dramatic music playing] Attagirl.
Get up here and kiss me.
Yes, ma’am.
[music builds to a climax]
[epic upbeat music playing]
[people cheering] They can’t do that. Did they just hack my show?
Our show.
And yes, they did.
It makes for one hell of an ending.
[groans] So what does this new life of ours look like?
Well, I think it starts with you staying here in Paris and finishing art school.
And you?
I think I kinda love this Paris.
And I love Texas.
And they do have airplanes.
I think we can figure it out. Together.
I think we can too.
[epic upbeat music continues]
[squealing ecstatically]
[ecstatic squealing continues]
[Trey] Look at that.
[Dawn] Look at how beautiful this is.
[music fades]
[“Keep Up” by Raelynn playing]
♪ Yeah I rock Gucci gang ♪
♪ But I got Baytown twang ♪
♪ That lifted pickup in the parking lot ♪
♪ I own that thing ♪
♪ Yeah, I know my drink Might be all pretty pink ♪
♪ But don’t you let that fool you I’m more backwoods than you think ♪
♪ You’d never know it It ain’t showing in this downtown dress ♪
♪ But let’s just say that the shade Of my lipstick matches my neck ♪
♪ ‘Cause I can drive your truck Faster than you can ♪
♪ I can get it done With my own two hands ♪
♪ I can dance with the ladies Drink with the fellers ♪
♪ You know Fridays are good ♪
Mark.
Mark!
So good, by the way.
It’s not good. Never try it like that.
My grandma made me these. But…
[all laugh] I can do a… a threeleaf clover with my tongue.
[man 1] Hey, watch it!
[man 2] Oops.
Oh my God. What am I doing?
[Dawn] I have lightningfast reflexes.
Do you now?
[both laughing] What are you doing, Dawn? Leave her! Get your butt to the maze.
Is there a Paris in… Nope. Sorry, that’s not the line.
[laughing]
[blows kiss] Ooh, it’s so warm.
I’m hot just watching.
Carl, we have discussed this. This is my space bubble.
Like, all of it. The entire circumference.
I’m hot just watching.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
This guy!
♪ The Honey Pot ♪
Oh my God.
♪ You’re going to The Honey Pot ♪
This horse is so small.
♪ But let me show you how A country girl gets it done y’all ♪
[chuckles] Please invert my necklace.
Raise for me?
Okay.
Oh, never mind.
The date tip.
The date challenge.
[both laugh]
[both singing]
[both laugh] How did you know I was just thinking that?
[vocalizing] That’s my Cindy siren song.
[coughing]
[laughing hysterically] So, extra points for spin, all right?
[women laughing]
[squeals and laughs] I can’t get on there. I’m disappointed.
[women laughing]
[women cheering] I didn’t drink any of that.
Whoo!
Splash! Ah! Pow!
[chuckling]
[laughing hysterically] I like motorcycles, tattoos, guys with motorcycle tattoos.
Heather, tell you what.
I might do a French dude on a big scooter.
I bet she could throw me around a room. Break me in half, sew me back together.
[object clatters]
[women laughing]
[snoring] Now, we’ve got something big, special…
[chuckles] That’s not right.
[laughing] There’s some word that I gotta say right after that.
Nummy, nummy, num, num.
Ah! Go! [laughs]
[everyone laughs]
[both scream]
[screaming] I am so sorry, I got so excited.
[laughing]
[squeals]
[both scream]
[both laugh] No hands. Look at that, no hands. It’s driving… It’s driving itself.
Oh!
Cutting!
[laughter] Next, go! Go, move.
Where do I look?
I hate it, I don’t like it. I hate it. [laughs]
♪ I can get it done With my own two hands ♪
♪ I can dance with the ladies ♪
♪ Drink with the fellers ♪
♪ You know Fridays are good But boy, with me they’d be better ♪
♪ Country boys sure know how to have fun ♪
♪ But let me show you how A country girl gets it done y’all ♪
Trey is waiting for me!
[clucks] Hey, little buddy.
[squawking wildly] Oh, son of a biscuit!
Can I have some… [inhaling] …alcohol?
Want to trade? You want to ask me to marry you instead?
Yeah, I’ll marry… I do.
[laughing]
[laughing hysterically] She said no!
[people cheering]
♪ I bet you can’t keep up ♪
[“Keep Up” ends]
[lively cinematic western music playing]
[lively cinematic western music stops]
[gentle heartfelt music playing]
[gentle heartfelt music fades]
