The Inheritance (2024)
Genre: Horror
Director: Alejandro Brugués
Stars: Rachel Nichols, Peyton List, Austin Stowell, Bob Gunton, David Walton
Plot: Billionaire Charles Abernathy, on the eve of his 75th birthday, invites his four estranged children back home out of fear that tonight someone – or something – is coming to kill him. To ensure his family will help protect him from whatever’s coming, Abernathy puts each of their inheritances on the line – they’ll get nothing if he’s found dead by dawn.
* * *
[intriguing music playing]
It’s incredible the things people are prepared to do for money.
[intriguing music continues]
INHERITANCE
[man 1] It’s incredible.
If you inherit a million and then someone from your family inherits two million, you feel like you’ve just lost a million.
But back to our story.
During the holidays, my family and I went to the reading of my uncle’s will.
We’d lost touch over the years, but as far as I can remember, he was a pretty unusual guy.
He was a spy. He knew Bill Gates, who…
Józie, stop it!
…was also a spy.
Kids, what kind of shoes do spies wear?
Sneakers! [laughs]
Our uncle hosted the first TV game show in Poland.
[man 1] Yup. Mm-hmm.
Years ago.
[man 1] And then he went on to inventing stuff.
Like what?
[man 1] I’ve no idea. They say he invented the PESEL number.
A universal electronic surveillance system.
He was putting chips in people before it was swag.
Okay, let’s play counting cows.
[sighs]
[man 1] The kids didn’t want to go, but it was one of Uncle’s requirements.
The entire family must attend.
[intriguing music playing]
[brakes screech]
Remember, no food!
[man 1] The family get-together happened earlier than we expected.
[jaunty music playing]
Natalia?
Look, it’s Natalia. My cousin.
Dawid!
Hey there!
Hey.
[Natalia chuckles]
[man 2] Karol!
[Karol] What?
[man 2] Put on your gloves.
Karol?
Man, you’ve grown. I didn’t recognize you.
No, I’m Karol.
Fortuna.
He’s Karol too. A different one.
[Dawid] Hey there.
[Karol Fortuna] Hey!
Yeah. He doesn’t like touching.
Post-COVID trauma.
Hi.
And this is Gustaw.
Hi.
He’s my son.
[woman] Stop staring.
Works every time.
You see, Gustaw, he’s my boyfriend.
Hello.
Ah.
Hi.
Hello.
[Karol] Karol!
[Karol F] Works every time.
My fiancé, Karol.
Hey.
[Natalia chuckles]
Let me introduce you to my wife, Zosia.
Zosia.
Say hi, kids!
Wow. Long time no see, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It’s terrible news, isn’t it?
What news?
What news?
Uncle dying.
[Natalia] Oh.
Ah.
Yeah.
A real tragedy.
Sad. Very sad.
When you get to Władysław’s house, you’ll see a sign outside that says, hmm, “Warning. Stay out. Land mines.”
Don’t worry. It’s not true. But you never know.
Oh! Damn!
[Natalia] Oh, you poor thing.
I’m so sorry.
Don’t worry. No big deal.
[Natalia gasps]
Do you know how much this cost?
[Karol Fortuna] It was an accident.
Oh, it was an accident, was it?
Well, then, it’ll wash out on its own.
[Karol Fortuna gasps]
Oops. I’m so sorry.
[rap music playing]
Excuse me.
Do you recall what kind of car my uncle drove? Vintage I presume?
He usually came by bike.
He had an old Polish Wigry model.
[Dawid chuckles]
Except, of course, on Sundays. Then he’d bring out the Bentley.
Or the Ferrari.
Or the Jaguar.
Let’s go! Quick!
Get in!
[Dawid] A large inheritance can make even a normal family go crazy.
Whoa!
[Dawid] And for an abnormal family…
[tires squeal]
[Dawid] Well, you’ll see what happens.
What were you doing?
Meeting my family.
[chuckles]
All right, let’s go.
We’ll see about that.
[country music playing]
[engine chugging]
Let’s go!
All right, all right. It’s not a race, you know?
[tires squeal]
[rock music playing]
[car horn blaring]
[horns honk]
[dramatic music playing]
[Dawid] Oh yeah, Zosia and I switched places back at the gas station, by mutual consent.
Welcome, everyone! Since the entire family has arrived…
[Uncle is muted]
[Dawid] This is Uncle’s butler.
He’s the kind of person who leaves the house with no pants on.
But you can’t really be mad at him, because it turns out he’s on an errand to get you your favorite ice cream.
Let me open the garage.
There’s a heavy snowstorm on the way, so please park your vehicles below.
[dramatic music continues]
[music fades]
Look! That’s a portrait of your Uncle.
I never met the old man.
Excuse me, but what exactly happened to our uncle?
I’m sure you’re all hungry after your long drive.
Please follow me. Dinner’s served.
We’ll read your uncle’s will later tonight. This way, please.
[Karol] Let’s go.
[Zosia] Hurry, hurry.
[Karol] Thank you very much.
[Dawid] So, how many years has it been since we’ve all met up together like this?
Ten?
Um. I’d say 15.
I’d say 20.
It was before I graduated high school.
Thirty years ago. Unbelievable!
Impossible. I’m not that old.
[laughter]
[Dawid] This is Karol, Uncle’s nephew.
He works in marketing with some small company.
He’s a talker.
And this is his fiancé. His name’s Karol too.
He’s an Uber driver,
or as he puts it, a psychotherapist.
This is Natalia, Uncle’s niece.
She’s a famous crime novelist.
I’ve read all her books, but I think there’s too much sex in them.
This is Gustaw, her boyfriend.
I know what you’re thinking. The difference between them is pretty big.
I mean he’s almost ten inches taller than her.
I don’t know what he does for a living, but despite what my wife says, I’m sure he’s not a student.
This is me, Dawid.
I’m a school teacher, or as my wife says, “He doesn’t make much, but nobody cares about his work anyway.”
My wife, Zosia. She’s a tax clerk.
But I think it’s more of a personality trait. I’d never say that to her face.
My daughter, Józefina.
She’s 16, but honestly, I’d prefer if she was still four years old.
And my son, Henryk.
He’s 13, and has absolutely no idea that he’s about to become the real hero of this story.
A yacht.
Excuse me?
I’m sorry. I thought that we’d share what we’d like to buy with the inheritance.
[laughter]
I wonder how he’ll make the split.
I’m sure he’ll be fair.
It’s never fair.
A bigger apartment.
With a balcony.
[Karol Fortuna] We were planning on emigrating.
We were thinking about Hamburg, but now, I don’t know.
Maybe Portugal?
[chuckles] So you’re all invited to our housewarming party.
[Zosia] Oh!
And the kids as well? [laughs]
What?
What exactly do you mean? You think we’re gonna buy a kid?
Um… No, um…
What I meant was whether kids would be, you know…
Uh, so are you in favor of gay adoption?
Sorry, uh, do you wanna know if we wanna adopt a gay kid? Huh?
Uh, no. No, no, no, no.
I meant… I was just kinda curious, you know, what kind of lifestyle…
To a new and happy life. Cheers.
Yeah, let’s all drink to that. Cheers.
Money can’t buy happiness.
Easy for you to say. You’re loaded.
You’re right, cousin. We’re penniless and look how happy we are. [chuckles]
You know how it is…
Eat.
[Dawid] Right?
What I was trying to say was that…
Well, you know, that there are more important things in life than money.
Like family, kids…
You don’t think that we can be happy without kids?
Of course! Yes. I mean, you can.
Well, I mean not you, of course. Uh…
That’s impossible. But you…
And why exactly can’t we? Explain.
Because you drink too much and can’t get pregnant.
[both laugh]
[bangs table]
What are you all talking about? About how much he left all of you?
Do you believe Bezos is the richest man in the world?
Rich people are in the shadows and pull all the strings.
Józefina.
Yeah. I agree. You’re right.
Let’s go to our room.
We can look up the latest prices for kids.
[Karol] Good idea.
Even as a child, he was always weird.
And it’s not as if I’m a homophobe or anything.
I should know. My first husband was gay.
His loss. [gasps]
[Karol Fortuna] You mean Dawid?
[Karol] Yeah.
His photo should be on Wikipedia when you search for “moron.”
I wonder if he supported the referendum.
Uh, I wouldn’t go that far. Who cares anyway?
Does that look crooked?
[Karol Fortuna] That’s what he said.
[both moan]
[Gustaw] Hang on.
[both grunt]
[Natalia] Come here! Quick, quick!
[Dawid] So, what name would you give to your yacht, honey?
Natalia should call hers Gustaw,
considering she pays for both. [chuckles]
Maybe he isn’t with her just for the money.
“Ifs”, “buts” and “maybes” don’t pay the rent.
I’m telling you, he won’t hang around. No yacht, no money, no Gustaw.
Oh. Look. Desperate Crimes And Desperate Measures.
Did you want an autograph?
Just stop it, will you?
How old is she anyway?
And how young is he? They’ll keep us up all night. You’ll see.
Careful! Oh, oh!
[Zosia] Oh, would you relax?
[Dawid] My shirts…
[Gustaw moans]
[Gustaw] Ow!
[Karol Fortuna] Come on!
[Karol] The daughter?
[Karol Fortuna] She’s crazy.
Crazy-shmazy. That’s not what I meant.
Teenagers have it rough these days.
Think of all the embarrassing stuff you did at that age.
Lucky for you, there were no cellphones then.
[Karol Fortuna laughs]
[man on YouTube] According to our source, the smoke trails left in the air
by commercial airlines are not gasoline fumes,
but are actually chemical compounds
sprayed from the planes to control the population.
What’s that?
[Józie] Get outta here!
[man on YouTube] What’s more…
Chill!
[Józie] What?
Nothing.
[man on YouTube] …make frogs homosexual.
Damn, I need to work on my biceps.
[Karol] What if he gives everything to Dawid?
Who cares? Your Boy Scout said he’ll split it equally.
Are you recording me?
[Natalia] Don’t worry, sweetie. We don’t know what’s gonna happen yet.
Yeah, but what if he gives it all to Dawid?
Well, then, we’ll get a third anyway.
Listen, one third of it is still a lot of money.
[Zosia] It was a rhetorical question.
What are you looking for? Sewing utensils?
No. But there’s nothing wrong with taking some stuff home.
Hmm. The towels too?
[Zosia] Since when did you become a cop?
I’ll take that as a compliment.
Perfect. Good for you. I’m sick and tired of having the same conversation.
When do we tell the children?
[ominous music playing]
I don’t know.
We have an appointment next week with Doctor.
[ominous music continues]
[music fades]
[light suspenseful music playing]
To begin, just a few words.
That’s a good start.
[butler] “My dear family.”
“It’s a pity we have to meet under such…”
Boring!
[butler] “…tragic circumstances.”
Stop it!
[butler] “I won’t bore you with speeches from beyond the grave,
so let’s get down to business.”
“With regards to my savings
and money generated through the sale of my estate and belongings,
estimated today at 10,000,000 zlotys…”
Oh shit.
[butler] “…I bequeath it all…
to our local orphanage.”
What… the hell?
Are they gonna build Disneyland?
[butler] “In addition, I’ve also prepared a game for you
in which you can win the rights to all my inventions, trademarks and patents.”
“My very best wishes to you all. Yours, Władysław.”
We have to contest it.
[Karol Fortuna] Nutcase.
Don’t touch me!
He’s a crook. Not a nutcase.
And so, here you go. This is the tablet for tomorrow’s game.
You take care of it.
[man 3 yells]
[all yelp]
Shit!
[man 3 laughs]
[Natalia] What?
He’s alive?!
[man 3] Well, hello, my dear family.
You’ll have to forgive me.
I know it may have been a bit much to fake my own death to read you my will.
A bit much?
[Władysław] Well…
But you have to admit it was the only way of getting you all to come here.
But what for?
Uncle, are you dying?
No.
I don’t think so. [chuckles]
It’s just that having spent all of these years
almost completely alone,
I wondered, “Why did I do it?'”
And for whom?
I wanted to make sure you didn’t make the same mistakes I did.
I gathered you all here, so you could mingle, talk and get to know each other
before it’s too late.
[chuckles] You should have seen your faces
when he said I was giving all my money to the orphanage.
Well, it is a noble cause.
[Władysław] Ah. In any case, moving along,
tomorrow, a game awaits you when you get up.
I’ve been working on it for a long time. We’re going to have so much fun.
It starts at 10 a.m.
I have a question. Mm.
If you’ll beg my pardon, it’s a hypothetical question.
I was just wondering about your patents and about how much they’re worth.
Guesstimate.
[Władysław] Mm. Honestly, I don’t know.
Tens of millions?
Oh.
[Władysław] I’ve been contacted by several agencies
and they all seem very interested.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
You see, we have some far more serious matters to deal with.
[all scream]
What the hell are you doing?
[screams]
My latest invention.
Thin and flexible like a T-shirt. Stronger and lighter than Kevlar.
Is it bulletproof?
Fortunately, it is.
Hey, Józie.
This is some kind of mindfuck.
I agree.
Well, that’s all for now.
So, anyone for a drink?
Something strong for me.
Good idea.
Definitely.
So dope, man. Chillax and kick back, huh?
Spillin’ tea, low-key, dawg.
Stop it.
Cool!
[camera shutter clicks]
Be sure to give it back to me when you’re done.
It’s my design. We have a deal?
Super.
All yours.
[Henryk] Thanks!
Good night, everyone. It’s getting late. Tomorrow will be busy.
So if I understand correctly, tomorrow, we’re just playing for fun, right?
That’s the idea, but let’s wait and see.
I’ve been working out and eating healthy,
so you’ll have to wait a while for the inheritance.
[metal rasps]
Uncle, please.
Again? Hmm. Of course.
I don’t usually curse but what the…
…fuck is going on inside…
…his head!
There’s no other word for it! The guy’s a complete lunatic.
[sighs]
But… it might actually be fun to do something together tomorrow.
[Zosia] You know what? You might be right.
One day, Uncle’s gonna die.
And until then, we should stay on his good side.
You know what? You scare me.
Karpacz isn’t far from here. Remember that hotel?
Yeah. I remember we didn’t leave the room all day.
Yeah. I had really bad food poisoning.
Well, if you want, we can go back there now.
[Karol Fortuna] It’s obvious we’re not gonna play any game.
Let’s leave in the morning. What are you doing?
Calculating how much we spent on gas.
It’s like we took a ride to party in Sopot.
What?
It’s an Uber inside joke. It means expensive.
Your penis is an inside joke. [chuckles]
[suspenseful music playing on computer]
[man on YouTube] But the truth is Beyoncé has been dead for 20 years.
[Henryk] Hey, Józie.
[man on YouTube] And all this time…
Józie!
[man on YouTube] …she has been replaced by multiple look-alikes.
Don’t be fooled by their lies.
Don’t believe anything you’ve been told. Seek the truth.
[whimsical music playing]
[music fades]
What?
Very sexy.
[Natalia grunts and gasps]
[Natalia grunts]
Are you stealing a mink coat?
[Karol grunts]
[Henryk] Józie!
[Józie] What?
[Henryk] I can’t see anything.
[Józie] You have to line it up with the mirror first, idiot.
Then you can see the alien.
That’s the true Da Vinci code.
That’s a load of nonsense.
I overheard Mom and Dad talking before.
They said, “When are we gonna tell the children?”
Do you think maybe Mom’s pregnant or something?
You’re right. Our parents, um…
They wanted to tell us that…
That you’re stupid. [chuckles]
Bye!
[Dawid] Just when you thought that was the end of the surprises,
you realize it’s only the beginning.
[screaming]
[Dawid] That’s Józie screaming.
Uncle Władysław is dead.
Again.
[Gustaw] Did he forget he was wearing a normal T-shirt and stabbed himself?
Don’t look.
[Natalia gasps]
Even I couldn’t make up something like that.
[Karol] Maybe it’s another one of his jokes?
[clock chimes]
Someone needs to check…
What?
Well, you know, to see if he’s…
You’re the one who’s closest.
Yeah.
[somber music playing]
[Natalia] Uncle Wład?
Uncle?
[somber music continues]
Nothing at all.
My God. Call the police.
[gasps]
[Natalia] Don’t touch anything!
What a terrible thing to happen.
[door opens]
[door closes]
Uncle is dead.
No, he’s fine. He’s alive. Just another one of his pranks.
Not this time, I’m afraid.
[somber music playing]
The old rascal.
We had a wager between us
to see who’d die first.
[somber music continues]
Uh, he won.
[somber music continues]
[doorbell chimes]
[wind gusting]
[doorbell chimes]
[butler] Oh! The police have arrived.
[Dawid] Ah!
[butler chuckles]
[butler] You got here quickly, gentlemen.
Yes, very quickly. I’m not sure what you’ve been told yet.
Why not start from the beginning? Pretend we know nothing.
[sighs] Yes. Of course. Then, follow me.
So, to begin with, uh, the chronology of events as they occurred.
At 9:00 this morning, my daughter, uh, Józefina,
she went down to the kitchen for breakfast
when she discovered Uncle’s body.
Right here. There. Over there. Here.
[Józie] Come on. Let’s go see.
[jaunty music playing]
Morning.
[music fades]
Good morning.
So, what brings you all to this place?
We arrived yesterday for the reading of the will.
Whom’s?
[Karol Fortuna] Whose.
What?
[Karol Fortuna] Whose.
Karol, forget it!
It’s not “whom’s will.” It’s “whose will.”
Our uncle’s will.
Why yesterday if you found him today?
Huh, well, you see, hmm, our uncle, he liked to play practical jokes.
Come in. Please.
Considering your rich uncle had a habit of pulling practical jokes,
we therefore have to presume this is unlikely to be a tragic mistake.
What are you trying to say?
He’s been murdered.
It’s been snowing heavily since yesterday, yet there’s no sign of any tracks.
[butler] Although there are none inside the house,
the outside of the estate is surrounded by CCTV.
There’s something written here. In blood, I think.
Huh. Looks like someone’s face.
[Gustaw] Hmm. Or the letter K, for Karol.
[suspenseful music playing]
[all groan]
Nope. I was wrong. It’s ketchup.
[Karol] Happy now?
I didn’t do it. And in any case, blood makes me squeamish.
So if I was gonna kill him,
I would’ve strangled him or pushed him down the stairs.
Uh…
[suspenseful music continues]
[chuckles awkwardly]
It wasn’t me. I don’t like touching people.
Well, technically speaking, you don’t have to touch people using a knife.
[Karol Fortuna] I still didn’t kill him.
Well, I didn’t do it.
It wasn’t me.
I’ve got an idea. How about we all say if we did it or not
and the one who confesses is the killer?
[chuckles]
It wasn’t me.
It… it wasn’t me either.
Well, obviously, it wasn’t me.
Or me.
[suspenseful music continues]
I didn’t kill him. Happy?
I was watching all of you.
Nonverbal cues speak louder than words.
And when you’re an expert, you can see who’s lying.
So, who’s lying?
I don’t know.
So, you were the only ones in the house?
[man 4] Including us.
Okay then. First of all, we’ll need to secure the items mentioned in the will.
Anyone know where we can find the patents?
Władysław was quite cautious with regards to his patents.
Any secret files?
Vile rumors. He never collaborated with the Secret Services.
[window shutters bang]
Excuse me, I must attend to the window shutters.
Until this snowstorm dies down,
we’re officially cut off from the outside world, I’m afraid.
[cell phones buzz and chime]
It’s a weather alert.
We’re being tracked.
Which reminds me,
to secure the scene of the crime, we will require all of your mobile phones.
Why our phones?
Because the murderer is between you.
Is “among you.”
Karol.
What?
No. The expression is “among you.” You… you can’t say, “between you.”
[man 5] Also, considering we’re cut off from the outside world,
the investigation will take place here, at the scene of the crime.
[suspenseful music playing]
Natalia, how long have you known Gustaw?
Excuse me?
Hang on a sec. And how long have you known Karol?
Easy. Six years.
[Natalia] Oh.
Not counting our break…
That’s not what she meant.
[Natalia] I know what I meant. Stop this! It’s very undignified.
[Karol] Everyone, just calm down.
[Karol Fortuna] Calm down?
Why should I calm down? Haven’t you watched true crime on TV?
Murderers are always good mannered and calm.
If Dad could go back in time, he wouldn’t even kill young Hitler.
Quiet.
Whereas Natalia knows everything there is to know
about murder and how to get away with it.
You think some tax collector is gonna tell me what I can and cannot do?
Shut up!
I hope that you all understand
that this will, written as a joke,
now becomes a legally binding document.
We have a signed last will and testament.
Everything goes to the orphanage.
And whoever wins the game is gonna inherit all those patents.
No way we’re going to play some game
with Uncle’s body still lying cold in the kitchen.
[Karol] No way.
[Gustaw] Of course. We’d never do that.
What do we do?
That depends. We could all decide not to participate in the game
and to split everything evenly.
And you know what? If we don’t play, they will.
And we’ll get nothing!
Oh, come on.
It’s true.
Did you see that?
Look at his body language.
Dawid will never give in.
I only see the good in people.
They’re not people. They’re hyenas.
So, in our hearts, we don’t wanna do it, but we’ll do it for Uncle’s sake. Right?
[Dawid] I didn’t approve, but sometimes Józie is right.
People do a lot weirder stuff for a lot less money.
[Władysław] Dawid, Zosia, Józie, Henryk, Natalia, Gustaw, Karol, Karol,
stand to attention and sound off!
I’m only joking. I hope you slept well and are in a good mood,
because we are about to begin the game.
And our first riddle is, “Who or what drives me the most?'”
So think about it and I’ll see you in a while. Bye.
No money, no problems.
What?
It’s a famous song.
Anyway, money doesn’t change people. It shows us who they really are.
What are you doing?
Please don’t touch anything until the coroner examines the body.
[man 4] Oh, one second.
You’ve got a stain.
Ketchup.
This sure is what I’d like to drive the most.
[man 4 wolf whistles] All good?
[Karol Fortuna] Well, considering the game is all about knowing your family,
no, all is not good.
Dinner’s been planned for 2 p.m. Let me know when you’re all ready and I’ll, um…
They’ll eat when they’ve solved the riddle.
Are you sure there’s no way you can help them?
[horn beeps]
Władysław prepared the game all by himself. I’m afraid I cannot help.
I can go first if you like.
First what?
First for questioning.
We make the decisions around here.
Uh, did your uncle have an office?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah. He must.
Yes.
[clock chimes]
[Zosia] It’s a long time since I’ve been carded.
You don’t look your age.
[chuckles softly]
So, you don’t have any idea where your uncle hid his patents and stuff?
No idea.
WHEEL OF TRUTH
She’s telling the truth.
“Who or what drives me the most?” That’s 24 letters.
So what?
I don’t know.
So, in your opinion, who could’ve killed him?
Yesterday, when we learned that Uncle was alive,
it was a shock. [chuckles awkwardly]
To us all.
It’s understandable.
Later, we talked for quite some time
and it turned out that Uncle knows a lot more about me than I expected.
Can you be more specific?
Oh…
It was mainly general stuff.
Well, you know, Uncle. 20 years of marriage. You know how it is.
[chuckles and sighs] Yeah. Everything’s fine.
We’re fine.
Good, I’m glad to hear that.
And how about your boss? The guy you’re dating.
I’m sorry? That’s impossible.
How did you know?
You must forgive me, but I had to prepare for the game.
I had to get to know you better
and I found out a few things that I didn’t really want to.
I presume that Dawid is unaware of the situation?
Yes, because there’s nothing really to know.
I finished it before it even started.
It was just one date. Just one. Nothing happened.
Sometimes the worst truth is better than the best lie.
As it happens, I’m actually working on something…
Um… Well, never mind.
Zosia, you can’t lie to him.
You have to tell him.
If you don’t, I will.
[suspenseful music playing]
[sniffs] Thank you.
[music fades]
Nothing really.
[sniffs] It was just small talk.
He asked me about my job.
And he wanted to know how things were going. [cries]
Well, now that I think about it,
my testimony is covered by client-attorney privilege. Right?
Mm-hmm.
Well, last night, I overheard Karol, the tall one,
talking to Uncle in a very loud voice.
Then at one point, he started to scream.
Hmm.
He was screaming, “On Wikipedia, you should be described as a miser!”
Hmm.
[Zosia] And then he left.
And he slammed the door too.
That’s it.
I’m sure you’ll make good use of this information.
Maybe it was Gustaw screaming. We have similar voices.
No, you don’t.
Uh… [clears throat]
[Dawid] If Uncle were still alive, he might have told us something.
Instead, here we were, lost in the woods.
Metaphorically speaking, because we were still in the mansion.
What did they ask you?
They wanna know who I suspected.
Concentrate on the riddle.
And who is it you suspect?
Actually, I’ve always had an excellent relationship with my uncle.
We were just chatting.
We’re actually thinking about, uh, Portugal.
We estimated it would cost approximately a million.
A million?
[Karol F] These are the current prices in Portugal.
Of all people,
I knew you would understand. [chuckles nervously]
Why’s it so big?
It’s a surprise for Karol.
Disappointment, though, is a form of surprise.
Anyway… never mind.
[sighs] Uncle…
My answer is no and that’s all I have to say.
[chair scrapes]
On Wikipedia, you should be described as a miser!
[suspenseful music playing]
Ah, yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Now I remember. It’s not…
[chuckles awkwardly] It’s not a big deal.
Uncle, he, uh…
He suggested I… I find myself a girlfriend and start a normal family.
He’s an old man. Different generation. I don’t hold it against him.
Uh, out of curiosity, who reported this to you?
It’s okay. I know. Natalia?
If I were to suspect someone, it’d be her.
She pretends to be rich but did you see her purse?
Totally fake.
Listen. I’m the only person here that doesn’t need Uncle’s money.
[wheel rattles]
Hey! Hey, hey. Now that I think of it, for his entire life,
the thing that really drove Uncle the most was
his game show!
Well, that’s for sure. So what?
I’m so relieved to learn that you’re still alive.
When I heard that you were dead, I cried all night.
I’m so sorry.
I didn’t realize
that the life of some old fart you hadn’t spoken with in over 30 years
was so important to you.
Time changes everything.
Please accept my apologies.
I’ll do my best to make it up to you.
Well, you see, that’s quite a strange coincidence,
because as it so happens,
just recently I’ve made some unfortunate financial investments,
and the advances on the sales of my book, well, it’s all gone.
[chuckles nervously]
And the truth is
I haven’t written a single word in well over a year and I’m a bit short on…
Inspiration?
Money.
I could use a little, um, pocket money.
No problem. [chuckles]
[sighs happily]
Thank you.
But under one condition.
Of course.
When’s my birthday?
Excuse me?
Well, seeing as I’m so dear to your heart and you cried your eyes out all night,
this shouldn’t be too difficult.
[laughs awkwardly]
The… twelfth…
of…
July?
My PESEL number begins with 43.
Zero-Five.
Zero-One.
1st May!
Yes! Tough luck.
Your first answer was wrong.
Well, have you seen Zosia?
Now she’s someone who likes the good life. Have you seen her shoes?
Oh. Don’t mind me. I’m just blabbering.
Oh. A Sig Sauer.
You’re with the police?
Uh, no. I write crime novels.
Yeah. Now I get it. You’re Natalia Szulc.
Death On The Rhine. [laughs] I got it for my birthday.
Did you like it?
Um…
I haven’t finished the previous one.
Hey, everyone! I found a hidden door.
[Dawid] Where?
Over there! This morning, walking around exploring the house, I found it.
It’s on the lamp fixture.
The door was locked, but maybe we can try to move it or something!
[intriguing music playing]
Whoa!
Come on, let’s go.
Darling wait, I need to speak to you for a second.
[Karol] Push. Keep going.
Concentrate. We are playing for a lot of money and for our future.
So whenever we find a clue, we don’t share it with the others.
Gotcha.
Listen to me!
They’re not our family. They’re the competition.
Go.
[Zosia chuckles]
[both chuckle]
Ah! Ah…
[Gustaw clears throat]
Everything okay? You guys done yet?
We’re just about finished, sweetie.
I love that you’re so attentive. [chuckles]
[Gustaw] Let’s go.
[Henryk] We’re almost there!
[Zosia] What’s the rush?
Wait for us! Damn it.
[Dawid] The basement of our apartment is about 30 square feet.
Uncle’s basement was significantly bigger.
[Józie] Whoa! So cool!
[Henryk] A mini motorbike!
[upbeat music playing]
What do we do now?
What does the tablet say to do?
Uncle was supposed to be here with us and he’d probably be running the show.
It’s your turn.
They’re waiting upstairs. [exhales]
[clock chimes]
You can hear that clock everywhere.
Honey, from now on, everything is a race.
I won’t be long.
How was your interview?
Nothing unusual.
Just your regular police questions.
Yeah.
Yeah, same for me. Boring.
It’s not like we’ve got anything to tell them.
Exactly.
Hey, you guys. C-come over here. Take a look at this.
[Karol Fortuna] Oh, what’s going on in here?
[door closes]
[tense music playing]
We can’t hear you. We can’t…
HOW MANY BOOKS HAS NATALIA WRITTEN?
[tense music continues]
“How many books has Natalia written?”
So best of luck. [chuckles]
How the hell would I know?
Guess! Say anything. Whatever!
[inaudible]
[Karol Fortuna] I can’t hear anything!
TRUE/FALSE
What happened? Um…
[Natalia] “Where did Dawid and Zosia spend their honeymoon?”
Come on, tell us.
[Dawid] Everybody wanted to win so badly that no one had realized
it wasn’t about winning,
it was about cooperating.
Our goal was to get at least half the points to move on to the next level.
It means we have to work together. Right?
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Family get-together.
[incorrect buzzer]
[all groan]
You just lost us two points!
You mean we lost, don’t you?
We. Of course.
Maybe we can give hints?
Uncle’s not here, so, uh…
WHERE DOES DAWID WORK?
“Where does Dawid work?”
The Center of Political Analysis Warsaw Univer…
[Karol] You’re joking.
At the Center…
[Karol Fortuna] What?
Round? Okay. And that… Insert.
Uh… Ah… [groans]
Look at me!
[incorrect buzzer]
[all groan]
[Henryk] Damn it!
Shit! Stupid questions!
[Karol] Relax!
Well, it turns out that our uncle
knows much more about us than we could have imagined.
And what did he know about you?
How are we doing?
We’re doing, uh, fine, thanks. Fine.
Hmm. It could always be better, uh… But it could also be a lot worse.
Good. Good. I’m glad to hear that.
[Dawid] Yeah.
So you’re not behind on your mortgage payments then?
A few minor delays. We’ll be fine. I’m waiting for a grant from the Center.
Oh. The one they rejected last month?
Yes. Uh…
I presume that Zosia is unaware?
I already annoy her enough as it is.
Dawid,
you have to tell her.
Otherwise, I will.
Hmm, nothing really. He knew what I was doing.
He’d read some of my papers too.
I believe it was an accident.
An unfortunate accident.
But if you’re asking me who I think did it,
well, I suppose I could…
Of course, only if I really have to.
You really have to, I’m afraid.
[Józie] Yeah! Go for it.
[Natalia] Come on, come on!
Bull.
Yes!
Yes!
[Karol] Awesome.
[Karol Fortuna] Your turn, Natalia.
Me?
[Karol grunts]
Go on! Quick.
We’ll have better chances if two people go inside.
Come on! Come on!
[Karol] Great idea! Go!
Go, go! Go on!
All right.
Press the buzzer.
Buzzer.
What some people won’t do for money? [chuckles]
So? “What is short Karol’s favorite sport?”
It’s just two cm.
Six. Krav Maga.
Krav Maga. Krav Maga.
Krav Maga.
Lam… ba… Lambada?
Choke hold.
[Henryk grunts]
Perfect! That’s it. Again!
Kung fu?
Use your brain!
Buzzer! Press the buzzer!
It’s baseball!
Seriously? You’re joking!
What the hell?
[inaudible]
Look. “What does tall Karol have tattooed on his back?” Quick, show them!
Look! Look!
Look, it’s a…
Swan!
Swan!
Swan!
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Actually it’s Cher transformed into a swan. You can’t hear. Whatever.
She was great in Moonstruck.
[both laugh]
“What was Dawid’s first girlfriend’s name?”
[incorrect buzzer]
I didn’t sleep well last night. The stress and all.
Well, so, as I was saying…
Yes, what are you saying?
Hmm. Last night, I heard Karol…
Uh, Uncle’s nephew’s fiancé, the short one.
He was talking over the phone.
[ominous music playing]
[Karol] It’s Karol, You, um… Yeah, I saw you texted me. I couldn’t answer.
I have to keep my voice down. It’s 3 a.m. here.
Thailand’s six hours ahead.
Yeah. No, I told you. I don’t want a two-year-old!
I don’t want a one-year-old either. At most six months old!
That was our deal! That’s what I paid for.
Fine. All right. Let me know. Okay. Bye.
For Christ’s sake.
[quiet suspenseful music playing]
I wouldn’t want to start making false accusations,
but I think they’re really trying to buy a child.
It’s expensive.
I don’t know. That’s what I heard.
How would I know? I never, you see, bought a child before.
And I have no intention of… I have never bought a live child before.
I… I’ve never bought a dead one either.
[groans]
[all groan]
No! What the hell?
[Dawid] Hi.
Sorry.
My Boy Scout.
[Zosia] Honey.
Yeah, I know. They’re the competition, not family.
Actually, things have changed.
Boy Scout’s our last hope. Let’s go.
Okay. So, how many does he have to get right?
All of them.
Push where it says Dawid.
[Karol Fortuna] Somebody should go with him. Too late now, I guess.
Look at the screen.
“What is Natalia’s date of birth?”
It’s January 26th, 19…
Press the buzzer.
Press the buzzer!
It’s January 26th, 1973.
[correct buzzer]
[Karol] Well done!
He never misses it. He always texts me.
[Karol] Wait. Isn’t that today?
Today’s your birthday?
[all] ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
You’re 50.
Don’t tell me you’re 50?
Of course not.
[Zosia] Look, there! “What’s Karol’s favorite childhood fairy tale?”
[Gustaw] Any idea?
[Henryk] No.
What do you think?
These people would sell their own mother for money.
If it was up to me, I’d put them all in jail.
You have herpes again?
No, I don’t.
Hmm.
[wheel rattles]
[correct buzzer]
[all] Yes!
[Natalia laughs]
This is the last question!
If you get the answer, we win!
[Karol] Come on, come on!
An easy one.
“What is Gustaw’s real name?”
[tense music playing]
[Henryk] What?
What is your name?
Ah, damn it. Okay.
[tense music continues]
Okay, drink it.
[Natalia] Mm-hmm.
Fall down and die.
Die?
As you wish.
[Gustaw groans and sputters]
[groaning]
Uh, Romeo?
[tense music continues]
[music fades]
[correct buzzer]
Yes!
Romeo?
Why didn’t you ever tell me that?
[Karol] And even Juliet didn’t know.
Wow, how did you know?
Wow!
I hate that name.
But it’s such a beautiful name.
How did you know all this?
How did Uncle know all this stuff?
[Henryk] Yes!
6 MONTHS EARLIER
Dawid Kłos speaking.
Ah, a survey.
Yes, of course. No problem.
You’ve got to be joking.
And how long will it take?
Jesus.
Mm-hmm.
Yes, I’ve got five minutes. I’ve got 15 if you want.
Thank you very much, sir. I just have a few questions for you.
What was the name of your first girlfriend?
And where on your body do you have your tattoo?
Can you remind me what this survey is about?
That’s an unusual question.
But since you’re paying, a beach in Barbados.
Wonderful.
[Gustaw] So I hear you’re good with knives, Karol.
And what does that have to do with anything?
Nothing.
We don’t know that much about you either.
We can see you’ve had childhood trauma.
Stop it.
Childhood trauma?
[Karol] Uh-huh.
For sure, you didn’t have both your parents.
[Natalia] You got that one wrong.
Both his parents live in the States. You’re not much of psychologist.
Do you want us to have a talk about the Oedipus complex?
[Natalia] Excuse me?
So, you wanna play that game?
Just calm down.
[Karol Fortuna] Uncle’s body’s on the floor, we’re playing Family fucking Feud.
[Natalia] Don’t play.
[Dawid] Yep, Józie has two phones. We had no idea.
And the cops she gave her spare to don’t know either.
Only Henryk knows about it. And now you know too.
And at the end of the day,
maybe it was Józie’s secret phone that would save all our lives.
I got a call from the police. They couldn’t make it through the storm.
Uh, I don’t get it. Who are those…
[knocking on window]
[Józie] Auntie. Come here.
The signal’s really bad. I lost the call.
What’s up? What are you guys up to?
I got a call from the police.
They’re stuck in the snow and can’t make it.
I don’t think those other guys are real cops.
I didn’t like how they acted from the start.
I’ve written over 40 crime novels. The police don’t use Sig Sauers.
We can’t tell anyone else until we find out who they really are.
Okay.
Be careful.
We don’t know how they’ll react.
So, what’s so urgent?
[Henryk] Uh…
[Józie] Mm.
[Zosia] Mm?
I just wanted to tell you that
I didn’t know you had proposed to Mom in a candy store. That’s sweet.
Yeah!
My daughter’s being nice to me.
Where’s the hidden camera? [chuckles]
Well, maybe Uncle’s strategy is starting to work.
[Władysław] My dear family.
[Karol] Hey, everyone. The tablet.
[Władysław] Congratulations on passing the first level of the game.
Are you enjoying yourselves?
If you’re watching me on the tablet,
unfortunately that means I’m no longer with you
and I’m preparing for the next level.
Attention. New riddle. There is no way out to solve it.
I guess we’re not done then, huh?
Way out. Way out.
We need to get out of here and find a signal.
You’re right.
If we get Wi-Fi, we can call for help.
I asked Uncle and he said the password is really difficult.
Damn.
I’m going to the ladies’ room.
[Józie] I’m going to the bathroom with Henryk.
Both going to the bathroom?
Yep.
I should probably go too. Just in case. You never know.
[Zosia] Okay, kiddos. [chuckles]
“There’s no way out to solve it.”
Do you have a signal?
Nothing yet.
[man 4] Hello there. Everything okay?
[metallic clanking]
Need any help?
We’re fine. Just heading to the bathroom with my brother.
[suspenseful music playing]
What brother?
You see, my aunt, well, she’s just like a brother to me.
Because she’s always there to help me when I need her.
Hmm. Very sweet.
Time for questioning, young lady.
Come on.
But Józefina is a minor.
So I really think that I should accompany her.
Come with us.
[suspenseful music continues]
[suspenseful music intensifies]
[music stops]
There’s no way out to solve it.
I bet the next level’s an escape room.
The entire house is an escape room.
In the garage, there was an exit sign that was crossed out.
I thought it was one of Uncle’s practical jokes, but now…
Listen!
Hang on! Not so fast, darling.
So, you’re like a brother, are you?
Taking such good care of your niece.
Surprising, considering you suggested her mother was a potential murder suspect.
Did you?
[chuckles awkwardly] It’s good cop, bad cop.
A good technique. Rarely used by local police officers.
What do you mean by that?
Considering your position,
I’m impressed by your use of such sophisticated skills.
Why don’t you use us as characters in your books?
Why not?
But first, I need to know your rank.
Ah, shit. I was never good at exams.
Your rank as a police officer.
In the police department where we work.
Inspector Bednarski. And this is Detective… Gudejko.
[Zosia coughs]
You swallow something?
What?
[Zosia clears throat]
Are you okay?
[Zosia coughs and wheezes]
[Zosia] Inhaler.
[Dawid] What?
[coughs]
I can’t hear you.
In our room.
In our room?
My… my… my…
What inhaler?
[wheezes] My inhaler in our room.
Your inhaler in our room?
For fuck’s sake. It’s in our room. [coughs]
Obviously she needs her Ventolin.
[Zosia] I can’t breathe.
You want a clap on the back?
Let’s go together.
[Zosia coughs]
[Dawid] What happened to you?
[mice squeak]
[suspenseful music playing]
Who called your phone when I was being questioned?
[Bednarski laughs] And what about your husband?
Dawid?
[Bednarski] Mm.
[laughs] No. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
[Bednarski] Really?
He’s not a fighter. We arm wrestled once, and I won.
I was hoping he had let me win. But no, he admitted that he hadn’t.
You know what? A real man wouldn’t have let you win.
[Zosia] Hmm.
I’d crush you.
Do you know why a kick in the balls hurts more than childbirth?
I know this because I keep meeting women who say they want another baby.
But I have never in my life heard a man say, “Kick me in the balls again.”
[laughs]
I love that joke.
[cell phone rings]
It’s Dawid’s.
[cell phone continues ringing]
“Lady from Bank.”
Why didn’t you answer?
[Karol Fortuna] Everything okay?
[coughs]
Are you feeling better?
Sorry for all the fuss. I’m okay now.
[scoffs] I wasn’t born yesterday, so…
Where are the kids?
Um…
Bathroom time.
Same for Natalia.
Mm-hmm.
We’re going to wait here.
[Gustaw] Sure.
And go in together.
In where?
We’re done for now.
Send in the other teenager.
My brother?
Her boyfriend.
[cell phone buzzes]
Something’s vibrating.
It’s a… pager.
A pager?
[buzzing continues]
Yeah. It’s the new thing. Pagers are back. You didn’t know?
No, no. That’s her insulin pump.
Józefina has Type 2 diabetes.
[buzzing continues]
Back to your seat, kid.
Hello?
[man 6] This is Dworki Police Station.
Sorry we got cut off earlier.
As I was saying, the officer we sent couldn’t make it because of the snowstorm.
Don’t worry. It’s not necessary. I’m really sorry. It was my kids.
They were fooling around with my phone again.
Yeah. Thanks.
Don’t worry. I’ll teach them a lesson.
Why did you say you were with the police?
Well, technically speaking, we didn’t say that.
[butler] You… you got here quickly, gentlemen.
I’m not sure what you’ve been told yet…
Why not start from the beginning? Pretend we know nothing.
Okay.
We were as surprised as you when we found you here.
And then we learned that your uncle was dead.
So you decided to spare yourselves the trouble
and let us find the patents ourselves.
Your uncle was working on something of great interest to my employers.
The snow’s stopped.
Damn it! It’s stopped snowing.
Come on, Henryk. Think faster.
INVALID PASSWORD
[clock chimes]
You all know I’m not one to brag,
but I have to admit, I’m one of the stars of the escape room scene in Warsaw.
He’s not lying.
Great. We’ll be outta here in no time.
How long does it take to piss? Do they even know where we are?
Gustaw, I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
Why are you running?
You know me. I have to stay in shape.
Where are Józie and Henryk?
The police are questioning them together. It goes faster.
The police said they’d give us one more hour to work it out.
If we’re not finished by then…
[Zosia] What?
They’ll take us to the station.
[Gustaw] At last.
So, uh, what’s the plan?
The escape room’s the next level.
You know who killed Kennedy?
No, I don’t.
You wanna know?
[suspenseful music playing]
WHY DID WHEEL OF TRUTH DISAPPEAR OFF THE AIR?
[suspenseful music continues]
[Henryk] “Why was The Wheel Of Truth taken off the air?”
“The Wheel Of Truth was taken off the air
when, after losing a game,
one of the contestants tried to commit suicide.”
7 POZIOMKOWA STREET
[door creaks and slams]
[all gasp]
[electricity crackles]
[Natalia] Aw, it looks exactly like the cottage we went to when we were kids.
[Dawid] Yeah, I remember now!
We were so poor, we only had one book, so Mom used to read it to us very slowly.
[Natalia chuckles]
Look! Recognize this?
Look, that’s us!
Aw!
Come here, look.
Show me.
[Natalia] You’re right! I don’t remember this photo at all.
Okay, Dawid, it’s time to get to work.
Yeah. Um…
Fifty-nine minutes left.
[Natalia] Would you like one?
Uh, no thanks.
Dawid, seriously?
Why not?
You never know what might happen.
[Zosia] Mm.
I remember being in this escape room and there was…
Dawid. Focus.
Focus.
[butler] Where did you find that box?
The chocolates?
I found them on the table in the kitchen.
[butler] Show them to me on the camera.
[Karol] It’s here! Over here!
[Zosia] Is that the camera?
What’s written on the box?
“Saturday.”
Oh, damn it! [sighs]
Damn what?
I’d forgotten to hide them.
That was Mr. Władysław’s own special treat.
What do you mean special? Is there a problem?
Władysław liked to experiment with hallucinogenic psychoactive substances.
How many did you eat?
Two. Maybe three.
Seven. I’ve eaten seven chocolates.
[butler] On Saturdays, your uncle tested out his truth serum.
One of his own mixtures.
He’d take a half, or sometimes one.
After taking just one piece, he’d start talking, uh, very bluntly.
But after seven, it could turn your insides out!
I had one too.
Shit.
I took one as well.
I didn’t take any. I’m on a diet.
Lucky for me, I said no.
Well, actually, I had one too. Hmm.
[Dawid] What do you mean by “turn your insides out?”
You have a few minutes before they take effect.
[Gustaw] Great.
Well, that’s a bummer.
You bet.
Are you all right?
No. Okay, listen up.
The rule is, once you know you’re in a trap, you have a chance to escape.
Start searching for clues.
We have to find clues.
Why bother?
What kind?
Search where?
Everywhere.
[Zosia] Like this?
[knocking on door]
[Gudejko] Where d’you think you’re going?
Let me go! You’re hurting me! Let me go!
Don’t do it! Don’t…
Stop struggling!
[butler] Excuse me, sir.
I’m afraid we have a little problem.
[Dawid] Yes! Got it! I have the first clue.
“What is it that shocked you?”
Um, us?
No! Look around you. The clues could be anywhere.
The lights.
Jeez.
Up there.
What?
The lights!
What are you doing?
[Dawid] What the hell?
What about the lights?
It’s stuck to the floor.
[Dawid grunts] Ouch! Ay, ay.
Uh, Karol…
No, it’s just ketchup. Ketchup!
Oh goodness. Lie down. Oh.
[Karol Fortuna] It happens to him.
[Zosia] Some water!
[Karol F] It’s okay. He’ll be out for a few minutes. Karol?
[grunts]
[Zosia] He should be fine.
Okay. We have to make a ladder.
[Karol Fortuna] With what?
[Dawid] You mean, with whom.
[Natalia] Gustaw.
[Zosia] I’ll take care of him. Don’t worry.
Here.
[Zosia] Okay.
Okay.
Let’s go.
[Zosia] You’ll be fine. It’s okay.
Careful.
[Karol Fortuna] Grab my foot.
Now turn around.
[Gustaw] Ow, my eye!
Dawid, be careful.
Hold on.
[straining]
[Zosia] Dawid!
Please just try not to touch me!
I’m trying.
[Dawid strains]
[Karol Fortuna] Ow!
Be careful up there!
[Dawid strains]
Whoa.
[Natalia gasps]
[suspenseful music playing]
Got it!
The first number is… six!
Yes!
[Dawid yells]
[Natalia screams]
[Zosia] Dawid, be careful!
Dawid! Dawid!
No!
[Karol Fortuna] Let go!
[Dawid yells] Ow!
Oh! Okay.
So, did we win?
Are we millionaires?
[Karol Fortuna] No. No, no. Not yet.
How did you know there’d be something up there?
“Try to recall the events that shocked us.”
When I was here as a kid for the summer holidays,
I mean in Uncle’s old cottage,
I got electrocuted.
It was pretty serious. I was in hospital for over a month.
Yeah. Now I remember.
It’s your turn now.
What?
Think. What shocked you? Come on. Try to think outside the box.
I don’t know what shocked me! I don’t remember.
[Dawid yells] The floor is lava! The floor is lava!
Watch out. You’ll melt!
How many did they take?
Plenty.
Mr. Dawid had the most.
[Dawid] We’re gonna die!
I love you.
Well, the truth serum’s starting to kick in.
I have a small penis.
Mm.
[Dawid] What the hell?
Not again. I told you it’s not true.
You think so? Have some chocolate and then tell me.
We haven’t had sex in the past two years.
Dawid!
Whoa!
My hands are so cool.
Mm, super.
[Zosia] Dawid.
[Gudejko chuckles]
And what about the kid?
[Dawid] My hands are shining!
[Natalia] Hey, listen.
The son.
[Dawid] I’m serious! Look at them. Whoa, this is so cool!
[Zosia] No, no, no, no!
INVALID PASSWORD
[Henryk] The password’s really difficult.
FORTUNA
[groans]
[metallic clanking]
QUIET
[yells]
[Gudejko thuds]
[unsettling music playing]
Off to work.
Would you like a sandwich?
With some Nutella?
Just the way you like them.
When we were kids, the local boys used to make fun of him.
Instead of playing ball, he’d play with dolls.
Back then, it was considered weird.
[sighs] I’ve had two husbands. Cheated on both.
They don’t make them like Dawid anymore.
You’re absolutely right.
Mm.
[Dawid] Oh, listen. By the way, I didn’t get that grant from the university.
Actually, I did get the grant, but I rejected it.
What?
[Dawid] I didn’t wanna be without you.
[gasps]
Aw!
[Dawid] It’s important. Especially since these are our last moments together.
My question. The Klos Family.
Category. Miscellaneous. [sniffs]
Are Zosia and Dawid splitting up?
Dawid, stop.
“Yes” is the correct answer, Mr. Klos.
So the only question left is
when do we tell the children?
[Bednarski] Sorry, kid.
I’ve known about it for a long time.
Do you have one of those pens from Men In Black?
Can you erase it all? And make them love each other again?
I’m afraid that’s not the way it works.
What did you think?
That I didn’t see you staring at that cop?
What? The guy’s basically Neanderthal.
That idiot thinks a kick in the balls hurts more than childbirth.
[Dawid] Moron.
[Józie] Sorry, kid.
[Dawid] Well, I guess he’s never had an episiotomy.
[Zosia] I guess not.
[Bednarski] Hmm.
[Dawid] So it turns out the Wi-Fi password was really difficult.
Although, on the other hand, it was really easy.
Um, it’s really complicated. I mean to explain to you.
Because the password itself was easy. Really easy.
[Gudejko] Kid!
[Dawid] Because it was really difficult.
[Gudejko] Where are you?
[Dawid] You’ll find out soon enough.
Damn it. The password’s really difficult. The password’s really difficult.
[Gudejko] Where are you, kid?
“Really difficult.”
[laptop chimes]
Yes!
[Gudejko] Hey!
[suspenseful music playing]
[Gudejko] Hey, kid!
Crap!
[Gudejko] Stop messing around!
Come on, kid!
I’m coming!
Since neither of us can lie at the moment…
Uh-huh?
Are you with me only for the money?
Not at all.
[chuckles] I’m not with you only for the money.
And I know you’re having some financial issues at the moment.
[Natalia chuckles]
I love you.
Come here.
[gentle music playing]
But I really don’t like your perfume.
[both chuckle]
Um, sorry, yeah, excuse me.
[Karol Fortuna] What does lover boy want?
Since none of us can lie, I wanted to tell you that I didn’t kill your uncle.
Mm. Neither did I.
Wasn’t me.
It wasn’t me.
Neither of us had any chocolate, so…
The best liar you think you know is not always the best liar you think you know.
I hope the kids aren’t too worried.
Those guys are not real cops.
They know nothing about rank and have the wrong guns.
I don’t know who they are,
but they took Józie hostage and they told me not to say anything.
They know that when the storm stops, the real police will arrive.
That’s why they only gave us an hour, and when it’s over they’ll…
What’ll they do?
[suspenseful music playing]
[Karol] Watch out!
[Dawid groans]
[suspenseful music continues]
Józie! Henryk! I’m coming!
Zidane!
Zidane!
Dawid! Honey!
[Natalia] Are you okay?
Are you okay?
[Zosia] Hey! Dawid!
[Karol F] This jukebox has the song they played when we met.
[Zosia] Hey, what’s the number?
Eleven.
Huh? Eleven? That’s the last number! Let me try.
[Zosia] Dawid, get up!
Give me your hand.
[Zosia] Dawid! Oh my God.
We did it!
[Karol Fortuna] Yes!
All right! You opened the door. Nice!
Quick, let’s go!
[Natalia] The tablet!
[pop song playing on jukebox]
[Zosia] I’m so proud of you.
I have to do everything myself!
I’m scared of you!
Are you okay? [grunts]
[Zosia] Leave her alone!
Get your hands off her!
[Karol Fortuna] Where’s Henryk?
My baby.
It’s Henryk.
I’m fine.
[gasps] Henryk!
[tablet chimes]
Whoa!
[Władysław] Dear family, congratulations on getting to the next level.
We are approaching the end of our game,
and now it’s time to increase the difficulty.
So before you begin your final challenge,
remember everyone is lost, but all together you will find.
I think I’m still tripping.
[intriguing music playing]
[music fades]
[butler] Damn it.
To open that door, you’ll need a fingerprint.
Whose?
Uh…
I got this.
[all] No!
I bet you’re the kind of tough guy who eats soup with a knife!
You’ve got 15 minutes. The kid comes with me.
No!
Keep an eye on them!
Please leave that child alone! I’ll go.
[Bednarski] The more, the merrier!
[Henryk] You can do it, Dad!
I’ll do my best! I’m not sure, but I think they’ll kill us all.
Are you still high?
No. Yes.
I’ve never had a boob job. Oh, I can lie again.
[intriguing music playing]
[Dawid] Pivot.
[intriguing music continues]
Put him down.
[Gustaw] Holy shit.
[all strain]
Easy now.
[sensor trills]
[door clangs]
[Karol] It worked!
There. Put him down.
What’s all this?
Okay.
[Natalia chuckles]
[intriguing music playing]
[Dawid] Like this?
What now?
[Dawid] How does it work? Hang on.
[Zosia] Let me take a look.
[gears grind]
[cuff beeps]
[Zosia gasps]
Oh!
Together you will find! We all have to link together, I think.
[Karol] One second.
Hurry up! They’ve got Henryk.
[cuffs beep]
Yes!
[Zosia] Put it on! Henryk’s not here. Put it on.
[Gustaw] Okay, let’s put them on.
[Gudejko] It works.
[cuff beeps]
[Natalia gasps]
[suspenseful music playing]
Let’s go, follow me. Come on. This way.
[suspenseful music continues]
Sorry, kid.
[Henryk grunts]
[intriguing music playing]
Look. That’s Aunt Ela.
The labyrinth looks like it’s our family tree.
[Karol Fortuna] Go right.
[Gudejko] Right.
[intriguing music continues]
Hang on, hang on. We already saw Uncle Janusz.
That means we should go, uh, that way.
But we’ll just be going back from where we came from.
[intriguing music continues]
[Bednarski] They only have a few minutes left.
What about us?
Have you ever played Pac-Man?
We’re gonna eat you.
[Bednarski laughs]
[butler clears throat]
[Bednarski laughs]
Slow down!
No!
How much time is left?
Six minutes.
Six minutes.
Yeah! There.
This… this is our aunt’s younger brother. It’s Uncle Albert.
We’re going the wrong way.
Let’s go.
Where?
Uh…
The guy with the wart?
Yeah, and it kept getting bigger.
[suspenseful music playing]
We’re back where we started.
No!
[Dawid] Three minutes left.
[Karol Fortuna] So, which way?
Has anybody seen our portraits?
You’re right.
We have to find ourselves.
Can you stop with that, life coach?
No! We’ve been doing this the wrong way.
We have to find ourselves! Follow me. Hurry!
[Natalia] Wait!
[clock chimes]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Dawid gasps]
[Zosia chuckles]
Look!
[Zosia] Henryk!
[cuffs beep]
[Natalia] Oh.
[suspenseful music continues]
Hey. Give it to me.
Give back Henryk first.
Uh, mind your business.
Zidane!
Hurry.
[Karol] Let’s go.
[clock chimes]
[Zosia] Oops, sorry.
Take it easy, kid.
[suspenseful music continues]
[chuckles] Smart move, but I’m afraid not smart enough.
But I have to admit,
you’ve got balls.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Gudejko] Hey!
[suspenseful music continues]
[Gudejko] Hey! Hello? Open the door!
[Karol] We made it!
Huh?
[gasping]
[Bednarski] Give me that.
First, release Henryk.
Careful, I have a gun!
Hey, I can lie again.
Give it to me.
Hey, man!
Karol.
I can break your neck with one simple…
[Karol Fortuna] Karol!
Hey, you! Try that on me.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Bednarski groans]
[Henryk grunts]
[Henryk grunts]
[exciting music playing]
[Bednarski groans]
[Zosia] Bravo, Henryk!
I think I’ll get you that console. And maybe two of them!
Bro, that was totally wicked!
[Dawid] Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little,
but Henryk really did take judo classes for about six months.
[clock chimes]
[Henryk grunts]
[Bednarski yelps]
[Dawid] And he really tried.
[Henryk yells]
[gasping]
Zidane!
[gunshot]
[dramatic music playing]
[grunting]
[gasps]
[Zosia] Leave him alone! Leave my husband alone!
[dramatic music continues]
[Zosia screams]
[dramatic music continues]
How do you like that?
[dramatic music playing]
[Zosia] Darling, come here.
[Bednarski groans]
[Dawid] Huh.
[gentle music playing]
[intriguing music playing]
[Gudejko] Help me!
Hey!
[intriguing music continues]
[exhales] Finally! The… damn…
[sighs] The damn…
That… damn…
[exhales] Fucking snow.
Snow… That damn snow.
[chuckles awkwardly] Th-th-that’s our uncle
and, uh, he was, uh, really fond of surprises! [chuckles]
[indistinct chatter]
Well, I guess that’s it then.
Tragic accident.
What you’d call an unintentional suicide. Good idea for a book, huh?
You should write a book about a detective who’s always late.
Something like, uh, Better Late Than Never Than Dead On Time.
[intriguing music playing]
[Zosia] What’s Uncle’s PESEL number?
[Karol] The third wheel
[Natalia] Quickly!
[Karol Fortuna] That’s it!
[Józie] That’s it!
[Zosia] We don’t have the month and the day.
[groaning]
First of May. Come on. Don’t tell me you didn’t know.
Okay, here, here.
Five is here.
[Zosia] Five and one.
And that’s it, that’s it!
It works!
[gears rattle]
Holy shit!
[suspenseful music playing]
Look at that.
[Dawid] That’s it!
[Karol Fortuna] What’s it? It’s empty.
There’s nothing here. It’s empty.
It’s empty!
I knew it. I told you.
Quiet!
[horn honks]
[tires screech]
[butler] Welcome, everyone.
Since the entire family has arrived,
on behalf of Uncle Władysław and also on my own behalf, welcome.
Welcome to all of you.
You arrived yesterday, and since then, I hope a lot has changed.
Congratulations on completing the game.
As for my patents, don’t worry about them.
All my patents and inventions are put away safe and sound.
And maybe somewhere else too.
[groaning]
[Władysław] Don’t worry. I’ll tell you all about it later this evening at dinner.
See you later then. Happy to see you all.
Sooner or later, the patents will turn up.
And even though we don’t have millions,
we… have each other.
And, all things considered, I think that’s what’s important.
And we did it by working together. [chuckles]
With a bit of Zidane.
[laughter]
So then, if it’s all cleared up now,
what can I offer you to drink?
[clock chimes]
So Uncle Władysław’s family name was Fortuna,
and he called his game show Wheel Of Truth?
[chuckles] And he would get aggravated when people would point it out to him.
[Dawid] I got the grant.
Coming?
Karol, come, let’s do it.
[clears throat] Hello.
[Józie clears throat]
We think there’s something you’ve been wanting to tell us.
Let me help you.
Okay!
It’s true, you’re both old enough to understand.
I’m pregnant. [laughs]
Whoa!
We’re having a boy.
[Dawid and Zosia laugh]
They believe me! It’s just a joke, baby.
But you said something about going to see a doctor.
Robert Doctor. Doctor is our lawyer’s name, hmm.
That doesn’t matter anymore. [moaning]
Kids thinking that parents are in control of their lives and their destiny
is humanity’s greatest illusion.
Yes, yes, yes! [laughs]
[Karol Fortuna] Whoa!
[laughter and cheering]
Look at this! Check it out! [laughs]
Listen up! We have an announcement.
We’re staying in Poland.
We’re back!
Oh yeah!
[cheering]
[Zosia] Bravo! Bravo!
[upbeat music playing]
[Zosia] What is it?
[Natalia] What’s going on?
[Zosia exhales] It’s for the towels.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say
can be used against you in a court of law.
I’m sure you know the rest by heart.
[chuckles] Me?
What are you talking about? I didn’t kill anyone.
It was me.
What?
[Gustaw] It was me.
No. He’s lying.
Actually, he’s telling the truth.
Oh. All right.
[Natalia] When you were under the influence, you said you didn’t do it.
Actually, I… I didn’t eat any.
But everything else I said was true.
I do love you, Natalia.
I’m so sorry.
But why would you do that?
[Dawid] So focus, everyone.
To Natalia’s joy, Gustaw wasn’t with her for her money.
But to her dismay, well, somewhat,
he was with her because she was a Fortuna.
This was Gustaw’s only chance of getting close to Uncle,
since Władysław had spent most of his life secluded in a guarded mansion.
Back in 1990, Gustaw’s grandma, who had raised him,
was a contestant in Wheel Of Truth.
Karol was right about Gustaw’s parents.
In the final round, Uncle gave her a misleading hint.
Well, that’s what she claimed.
As a result, she gave the wrong answer,
lost, fell into depression, and tried to commit suicide.
Because of this, Gustaw was sent to an orphanage,
and has blamed Uncle ever since.
[young Gustaw] Grandma!
[Dawid] It turns out Gustaw had been planning murder for a long time.
However, he hadn’t foreseen that he would fall in love with Natalia.
That’s when he gave up his plan for revenge.
When he found out that Uncle was dead, he felt so relieved.
Oh shit!
[Władysław laughs]
[Dawid] Then, when we got together for the reading of the will
and Uncle suddenly appeared, Gustaw was dumbfounded.
That night, when he came downstairs to the kitchen, he ran into Władysław.
It turns out Uncle knew all along about Gustaw’s true identity.
He was well prepared for this game.
They started chatting and everything was going fine, until all of a sudden…
I forgive you.
I forgive you.
For… what?
For wanting to kill me.
And what is it you forgive me for, Romeo?
Well, that you misled my grandma.
But I didn’t.
Yes, you did.
[Władysław] No.
Listen, just admit that you made a mistake.
I can’t.
Admit it.
[Władysław] I can’t lie to you, Romeo.
The correct answer would have been Greenville.
That’s why I showed Katarzyna my green bow tie.
Don’t you dare say her name!
I wanted to show Katarzyna…
[Władysław groans]
[Dawid] The fact is Uncle was under the influence of his truth chocolates.
He was trying to explain to Gustaw that he literally could not lie to him.
Maybe that’s the reason Uncle admitted he knew Gustaw’s real name
and his true identity.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Gustaw] I really didn’t mean to kill him.
I just thought that because he was wearing that bulletproof shirt,
then, well, I could… stab him.
Trauma therapy.
I didn’t know that he had just changed his clothes and was wearing his normal shirt.
They looked the same. And when I stabbed him and I saw the blood…
I… I was caught by surprise.
I’m so sorry.
[exhales]
How did you know it was me?
[Dawid] It’s all thanks to Henryk.
He had found an old article in the paper about the end of Wheel Of Truth
with a photo of the last contestants.
It read, “Mrs. Katarzyna and her grandson Romeo.”
Quite a rare name.
And today, he discovered the last piece of the puzzle.
You may recall, when he arrived in the kitchen, Gustaw asked…
Did he forget he was wearing a normal shirt and stabbed himself?
[Dawid] He had spoken too soon.
When he said that, Uncle’s body wasn’t in view,
so how could he have known Uncle had been stabbed?
However, this was still just a theory.
So I decided to call the police and they asked me not to speak to anybody.
So I only told my Dad.
As we had no hard evidence, our only option was to bluff.
So we pulled this stunt
to see if you loved Natalia enough to keep her out of jail.
[Natalia crying]
Aw!
[Dawid] Did everything during that weekend happen exactly as I told you?
[clock chimes]
I don’t know.
I was pretty high most of the time.
But it’s my version and I’m sticking to it.
That weekend changed many things in all of our lives.
The best man has arrived. Let’s begin.
[clock chimes]
[Dawid] Natalia is already writing a book about the events that weekend.
It’s called Death Of A Game Show Host.
[Dawid] Weren’t you bored?
[Dawid] So far, despite multiple searches,
no one has been able to find Uncle’s patents.
Both Karols were crazy about Władysław.
A six-month-old puppy
that Karol had bought in Thailand.
Good little doggy.
[Dawid] Oof.
As for the butler, it turned out that Uncle had been paying him very well
for shooting him, amongst other services.
In the end, he had saved enough to buy the mansion.
He still lives there.
And now, he has his own butler, but he continues to water the plants.
As for us, well, we still don’t have a balcony.
But Józie seems to have mellowed
and my relationship with Zosia has improved.
We started going to Casino.
Jakub Casino, a couples therapist.
It’s incredible, the things people do for money, huh?
I prefer to say it’s incredible the things people do for their family.
As for money, it’s like I said.
We’re penniless, but look how happy we are.
[dramatic music playing]
THE END
MAYBE…
[upbeat music playing]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of Wheel Of Truth.
My name is Władysław Fortuna.
And here are tonight’s prizes. A fabulous motorbike.
A magnificent new car.
But the top prize for tonight’s show is
a check for one billion zlotys!
[audience cheering]
Mrs. Katarzyna comes to us from Bydgoszcz.
Yes.
Are you alone?
I’m with my grandson.
[Władysław] And now for the final question.
If your answer is incorrect, you lose everything.
The question is, in what city
was US presidential candidate Jesse Jackson born?
Your answer, Katarzyna?
I know this. It was, um…
Ugh. No.
[groans] In, uh…
Ringville?
I’m afraid not.
[audience groan]
The correct answer is Greenville.
Oh!
Uh, but…
Thank you all for tuning in today.
See you all soon on The Wheel Of Truth!
[audience cheering]
[suspenseful music playing]
[music fades]
[somber music playing]
[intriguing music playing]
[music stops]
[intriguing music playing]
[music fades]
