Jay Kelly (2025) | Transcript

Jay Kelly (2025)
Director: Noah Baumbach
Writers: Noah Baumbach, Emily Mortimer
Stars: George Clooney (Jay Kelly, a famous actor) Charlie Rowe (Young Jay Kelly) Adam Sandler (Ron Sukenick, Jay’s manager) Laura Dern (Liz, Jay’s publicist) Billy Crudup (Timothy Galligan, Jay’s acting buddy who didn’t have his big break) Louis Partridge (Young Timothy) Riley Keough (Jessica Kelly, Jay’s eldest daughter) Grace Edwards (Daisy Kelly, Jay’s youngest daughter) Stacy Keach (Mr. Kelly, Jay’s father) Jim Broadbent (Peter Schneider, a recently deceased director who gave Jay his big break) Patrick Wilson (Ben Alcock) Eve Hewson (Daphne) Greta Gerwig (Lois Sukenick, Ron’s wife) Alba Rohrwacher (Alba) Josh Hamilton (Carter) Lenny Henry (Larry) Emily Mortimer (Candy) Nicôle Lecky (Krista) Thaddea Graham (Meg) Isla Fisher (Melanie Alcock) Jamie Demetriou (Clive) Parker Sawyers (Props) Patsy Ferran (Brenda) Lars Eidinger (German Cyclist) Kyle Soller (Director) Tom Francis (Actor at Audition) Giovanni Esposito (Antonio)
Release dates: August 28, 2025 (Venice); November 14, 2025 (United States); December 5, 2025 (Netflix)

Plot: After Jay Kelly, a well-known actor, finishes filming his most recent film, he wants to spend a few quiet days with his youngest daughter, Daisy, before she leaves for Europe and starts college. He imagines a trip together, but she has no interest and wants to go off with her friends. The space between them has been growing for years, and neither of them knows how to close it.

News arrives from Ron, his manager, that Peter Schneider, the director who once took a chance on Jay, has died. A few months earlier, Schneider — whose career was on the decline — had asked Jay to attach his name to a new film to help get financing, only for Jay to refuse. After Schneider’s funeral, Jay runs into his old acting school roommate, Tim, now a child psychologist. At a bar, they start with stories from the old days, only for the mood to turn sharp as Tim brings up the girlfriend Jay dated after him and the role that made Jay famous. He says that Jay stole both, and their argument leads to a physical confrontation, leaving Jay with a black eye.

The next morning he drops out of his upcoming film and books a flight to Europe. Ron warns him that walking away could wreck what’s left of his career, but he tells Ron to view the trip as a Dior appearance followed by an award ceremony in Tuscany. Meg, Jay’s assistant, tracks Daisy by checking one of her friend’s card transactions. By the time Jay and his team reach Paris, she’s already on a train out of the city, and they follow. Onboard, Jay relaxes for the first time in months, with people recognizing him as a celebrity but treating him like one of them. He jokes, takes pictures, and invites a few to his tribute event. All the while, word spreads online that Tim is suing him for assault.

He finally finds Daisy in the dining car. The reunion ends quickly once she figures out he has been following her. Ron and Liz, Jay’s publicist, sit a few cars away. They talk about the years they’ve spent managing Jay and how they used to be together, only for their lives to now aimlessly revolve around Jay’s problems. Ron still resents the night she left him at the Eiffel Tower, while Liz admits she’s missing time with her own daughter.

When a biker on board steals a woman’s handbag, Jay runs after him and gets it back. Ron suggests inviting Jay’s father to join them. Jay agrees, thinking that he can use the opportunity to fix their relationship. By the time they reach Tuscany, the clip has gone viral, with Jay being labeled a hero. Ron then leaves to meet another client, Ben Alcock, who fires him on the spot. Ron calls home, hoping for comfort, but the talk is stiff and short. Back at the party, Jay barely notices he’s gone. Later, Ron tells him Tim dropped the lawsuit after lawyers uncovered an old charge in Tim’s record.

Jay’s father arrives looking tired. Not long after, he has a dizzy spell and says he wants to go back to Maine. Jay pleads with him to stay, but the taxi drives off. Jay runs after it until it disappears around the corner, leading to him wandering in the nearby woods. He then calls his older daughter, Jessica, and asks her to visit. She refuses and reminds him of the day she brought him to therapy, when the counselor read a letter she had written about missing him, only to walk out before she finished.

Seeing Ron’s taxi, Jay runs after it and begs him to come to the tribute. Ron agrees but tells him their work together is over. Jay finally understands that he’s spent years confusing paid loyalty with love. At the tribute, as Jay starts facing the cameras, he pauses and asks quietly, “Can we go again?”

* * *

Jay Kelly (2025) | Transcript

We’re coming to the end.

[crew] The end of what?

The end of the movie.

The end of the shoot.

There’s always the next one.

Are you listening?

I started getting dry eyeballs.

From nowhere.

Like there was grit or something constantly in them.

And there was an oculist here.

The one who does the lenses.

[crew 2] Hey, sorry.

Skip needs to do a check.

He thinks it might have slipped.

[sound recordist]

Silk shirt’s causing problems.

I’m not going to let this be a thing.

I said, “What do I need to do?”

[sound recordist] Could you say something, please, Jay?

[Jay] I love you.

A little bit more, please.

[Jay] Ten, nine, eight, seven.

[accented] Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday.

[sound recordist] Jay, you’re the best.

[Jay] There must be somebody better.

We’re seeing the whole wide world on this one, folks.

He gave me these drops, and it totally went away.

Disappeared, the dryness.

You’ve gotta be ahead of the game.

Two steps ahead.

I just made a decision. I’m not gonna…

Right now, your anxiety’s at a ten, so of course you feel like quitting.

Because I’m your dad, that’s how I know.

Your hair feels great.

Have you been using that conditioner?

This is the worst part, the anticipation.

Let me check your pant leg.

[PA] I’m sorry to interrupt, Hailey would like to see you in the bloodier coat.

[actress] Did you have the peppers or the ravioli? I should’ve had ravioli.

[Jay] I just had my shake.

[actress] Who’d want to be young?

[crew 3] Find a place to hide, people!

[Jay] Can we do it with the dog?

[crew 4] Jay wants the dog.

Can we bring the dog?

[crew 5] That dog makes more money than any of us.

[crew 3] Can we see a light drizzle?

That’s a drizzle? It’s more like a deluge.

[crew 5] Believe me, that’s the drizzle.

[man on cellphone] I have watched you bloom throughout this tournament.

And you really found your second serve.

You think Coco doesn’t get butterflies?

Doesn’t dread? Doesn’t call her dad?

[Jay] This is me in the bloodier coat.

Bloodier is better.

I got your espresso.

[Jay] Thanks.

Don’t let me have more than a sip after 4.

You wouldn’t know.

I see coffee, I drink it.

…it’ll be the last movie for all of us.

They’ll turn out the lights, and that’ll be that.

Of course you should have called me, puppy.

Don’t beat yourself up about that.

You’re just getting yourself from all angles now.

[crew 6] I had a double in the 5K.

[cellphone man]

Guilt is a secondary emotion.

Thanks, Clay.

Always a pleasure, Jay.

[cellphone man] I did not have any bread today, no. That was your brother.

[director] What are you thinking?

We got a couple good ones.

[Jay] It should just be how it happens.

Let what happens happen.

[director] You want to do another?

[Jay] Let’s see what happens.

[crew 3] Okay, quiet, please!

This will be for a take.

Roll sound.

[sound crew] Rolling.

[sound crew 2] Sound speed.

[director] Quiet, please.

[sound crew] 138 Echo, take 11.

[cellphone man] Hold on, sweetheart.

I’m just gonna watch this take.

[director] And… action!

I don’t want to be here anymore, Jerry.

I want to leave this party.

You know… He’s in too soon.

Can we go again?

Delay Jerry just a beat.

[director] Cut!

Don’t cut. Keep rolling, please.

[director] Keep rolling.

More of the anchovy paste on my…

[director] Room quiet, please.

Thanks.

Okay. All right.

[sound crew 2] Guys, I’m rolling.

[rain pattering]

[director] Action.

I don’t want to be here anymore, Jerry.

[exhales]

I want to leave the party.

In a way…

I already died.

[sirens wailing in distance]

I’m lucky.

My time passed while I was still alive.

[thunder rumbles]

[grunts] I got to see it end before it ended.

[thunder, sirens continue]

That’s a crazy thing. When you die… everything you thought you were… isn’t true.

[dog whines softly]

You’re a good dog.

[gun clatters on pavement]

[director] And… cut. Great!

Can we go again?

[director] Really?

I’d like another one.

I mean, I think I can do it better.

[crew 3] Quiet, please!

[people shushing] Different. I don’t know.

But if you’re happy…

Very happy.

Okay.

If you have an idea…

I thought I had an idea.

But you’re happy?

I’m ecstatic.

But of course you can have one more.

You feel good?

I really do.

Okay.

I liked a couple of the early ones too.

Cool.

Good?

[exhales, chuckles]

[exhales]

Good.

[crew 3] And that is a picture wrap on Jay Kelly!

[crew cheering]

And a wrap on Eight Men From Now!

[applause, cheering]

[uplifting orchestral music playing]

Well done, man. It’s gonna be a good one.

It’s a total honor.

Thank you for trusting me.

We made the tennis finals, Vivienne.

That’s something to celebrate.

So get your rest, because the Greenbergs are tough opponents.

But my money is on you and me, kiddo.

I love you, Vivi.

José! Pops! You guys are awesome!

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Skip, you guys never get the credit.

[Skip] That means the world.

Let me call you back, sweetheart.

[crew 8] I appreciate the gift.

Okay, guys. Guys.

Everybody, thank you all so much.

You did a great job.

A couple of timely reminders.

We got the Omega event tomorrow morning, 11 a.m. pick up.

Candy will…

Will be there at 9.

Were you watching?

Yes.

You didn’t say anything.

You get annoyed if I give an opinion.

If you don’t say anything, then I assume you hated it.

It was brilliant, I think take seven was the one.

Why seven?

I’m not getting into this.

Into what?

You always get this way whenever we wrap a movie.

Emotional, and then you blame me.

Maybe it was seven.

I guess they could always cut to the dog.

That dog was great.

What’s it like, Jay, to experience your own death?

I didn’t really die.

No, I know that.

But how do you perform something you’ve never done?

Pretend, Candy.

I don’t know if I’d want that ability.

Guys, thank you all for working so hard and being so great.

Couldn’t do it without you.

[crew 8] Thank you for having us, Jay.

You’re the best.

[Jay] I am the best.

Why is there always a slice of cheesecake in every room I’m in?

It’s in your rider, along with the fruit and all the different kinds of water.

How is it in my rider when I don’t even like cheesecake?

You once said you liked it.

I never did.

You did. You just don’t remember.

If anything, my rider should say “no cheesecake.” Never cheesecake.

And… dinner with Daisy tomorrow.

Chef Mario is doing the special tamales.

Oh, good.

Also, Antonio from the Tuscan Arts Festival called again.

They need an answer about the tribute.

I said no.

And I told them no.

But they’re very persistent.

And it’s still no.

I just mention it because they’re quite reputable.

Not on your life.

It was gonna be tight anyways.

No tributes. Ever.

We start shooting in a couple weeks. Okay.

[entourage chattering]

That was the point when I realized I was more intelligent than you.

[Jay] What does that mean?

I know more than you.

[Jay] Do you?

No, you don’t.

Yes, I do.

About what?

About everything.

What is the capital of Croatia?

I barely know the fucking capital of California.

Who was Agamemnon’s wife?

See, now, these are just facts.

Anybody can know facts.

I know more about emotional stuff.

You have to live a life for that.

I’m more emotionally intelligent.

Don’t you want me to be smarter than you?

Isn’t that the whole point of this?

Yeah.

Don’t you think it’s a bit early?

I can’t help the timing.

It looks good.

Oh, yeah?

You can’t tell.

Yeah, she did a good job.

She left a little gray in.

They usually make it too black.

It’s not…

No, no, it’s just right.

You should go fully gray, if you want my opinion.

Yeah, but not just yet.

All right, well, I’m going to go meet Moses and Rio.

I love you.

Hey, aren’t we having dinner tonight?

Mario’s doing the tamales.

Did we say that?

All right.

Go on. Be with your friends.

There’ll be other dinners.

I wrapped this last one.

I start the Louis Brothers movie right here on the lots.

I’ll be around for the summer.

I’m going to Europe with Rio and Moses and some friends. I told you that.

I thought that was in July.

No, it was always June.

I’m leaving on Saturday for Paris, and we’re making our way to Tuscany.

Saturday? I mean… That’s…

Saturday. That’s… It’s too soon.

I got two weeks off.

We won’t have had time to hang out.

This is your last summer.

That’s why I want to see my friends.

It’ll be so lonely here without you.

No, it won’t. You’re never alone.

Really? I think I’m always alone.

Thanks, Silvano.

You’re welcome.

Eh. All right.

Mm.

How about if I joined?

Well, we’re going to this really great jazz festival in Paris which has a lot of people, so you can’t do that.

And then we’re taking a train with no first class to Pienza, which you also can’t do.

And we’re sleeping in tents.

Which… I mean, come on.

I basically grew up in a tent.

But not anymore.

Well, the muscle memory’s still there.

Okay, well, that’s good. I gotta go.

Hey, Ronnie.

[Ron] Daisy. [kisses] Vivienne’s been posting about the tennis.

You guys are adorable.

Oh. We made the finals.

We’re so excited.

You got a friend now, Dad.

Want a tamale?

Peter Schneider died.

Fuck, I gotta call him.

No, I just found out and came here.

He died.

Really?

I’m sorry.

I know how much you loved him.

His message is still on my phone.

When was the last time you saw him?

I don’t know. Maybe six months ago.

Sweetheart, I’m going to make you a sandwich.

[Jay] I’m glad to see you, Peter.

I’ve missed you. Where do you keep the knives?

That magnet thing over by the cutting board.

Oh, yes.

Barbara, I’m sorry.

We made a mess after you already cleaned.

[Barbara] That’s okay, Jay.

You know, Pop…

Lately, I feel like my life doesn’t really… feel real.

Maybe a better way of putting it is that my life doesn’t really… feel real.

I heard about your breakup with the hand model.

Breakups are like deaths, aren’t they?

[Jay] Mm.

Mayonnaise?

Refrigerator, on the shelf.

[Peter] Oh, yes.

How are the girls?

Daisy graduates this spring, and then she’s at Johns Hopkins for biochemistry, if you can believe it.

She’s a brilliant girl.

Then…

Jess is in San Diego.

That’s…

I don’t know what to do there.

You’ll figure it out.

Do you have olive oil?

Yep, over there.

I’ve been thinking a lot about Cranberry Street. We had such fun shooting that, didn’t we?

[Peter] We were always laughing.

D’you know it’s the 35th anniversary coming up?

Jess was born the next year.

That’s how I know that.

All my memories are movies.

That’s what movies are for us.

Pieces of time.

Pieces of time. [chuckles] Do you have pickles?

In the pantry.

I think.

Oh, yes, here they are.

Check the expiration.

Pickles don’t expire, my love.

[Jay] They definitely do.

[Peter] They’re fine.

Thirty-five years. Is that possible?

It’s all possible, son.

There was such magic on that one.

I was spoiled.

I thought they’d all be like that.

They’re not.

So few are.

I’m glad you’ve been thinking about us.

I have a picture I’d like for us to do together.

It’s the prostitute picture I told you about.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, yes.

Well, I’m shooting a movie now, and then I’m doing one right after.

Do you know those kids, the Louis Brothers?

They’re big fans of yours.

I didn’t take to their picture.

Too much MTV cutting.

I don’t know how much I’d be available.

I can wait for you, darling.

Peter, I told you it’s just not for me.

I did a rewrite with my assistant, Shelley.

I think you met her at that idiot’s premiere.

We made it more contemporary.

They have cell phones.

It’s not a territory that I want to explore.

I thought I’d ask Daphne to play the wife.

She is retired.

If you could just attach yourself.

My lawyer says we need a name.

I can’t do that.

I’ll be honest with you, son.

I need the money.

I’ll give you the money.

But I need to make another picture.

I want to do two, right in a row.

Backtoback.

You know what dear Truffaut said.

[French accent]

“Sometimes quantity is impressive.”

Art is personal, Pop. You know that.

[Peter] I understand.

But if you could just lend your name.

I can’t.

I’m sorry.

It’s delicious.

Pickles don’t expire.

My dad was never there.

In the ’70s and ’80s, he was always on movie sets.

And when he started to struggle, after he made a couple of what many of you in Hollywood would call “bombs” or “turkeys,” or, forgive me, I’m not in the business.

I don’t know the language.

“Flops” that are now considered cult classics by Gen Z.

After the industry turned its back on him after his third bankruptcy, after he was forced to sell his beloved mansion, Casa del Oro in Bel Air, and move into the one-bedroom in Encino, he was always trying to raise money, dreaming of the next picture.

As he lay dying, he turned to me, and he said, “I know how the movie ends.”

“It’s about love.”

[people chattering]

[woman] You don’t remember me, do you?

Of course I do.

No, you don’t.

Yes, I do.

Where do you know me from?

I was in the only movie he directed on horseback.

I love you both.

I think I have to go rescue Jay.

How long do you think…

I got beach cleanup at 3.

We’ll get you there.

[Vivienne] If I’m late, it won’t count.

Just take the car.

Not surprisingly, it was his worst film.

[woman] You have no idea who I am.

I do. Yes.

I don’t believe you.

Thanks for coming, Jay.

I’m so sorry, Nathan.

You know, Dad always said how lucky he was to have found you.

He changed my life.

He thought the same about you.

He wanted you to have one of his neckerchiefs.

I am glad we came.

It makes it all more real.

None of this feels real.

I know.

Death is always so surprising, particularly in LA.

I like the neckerchief.

You want it?

Thank you.

Why didn’t I just do another movie for him?

You’re feeling this way because you’re a good person.

Just lend my name.

‘Cause he just wanted my name.

Jay?

Hey, man.

Tim?

Yeah.

Timothy. Hey.

Hey. Don’t worry, I’m-I’m not stalking you.

No, no, no, it’s…

Hey, we just did the…

Yeah.

We lost a great one there.

Yeah, it’s sad.

He was really special.

We’re just busy all the time, and then people are dying.

Ron, this is Timothy, my old roommate.

We were in acting class together.

My old budday.

Budday.

Yes, yes. Tim. Nice to see you.

Ron Sukenick, Jay’s manager and friend.

Yeah, I’ve told you about him.

Heard a lot about you.

Really? Really, you have?

Oh, well, all good, I hope.

‘Cause we were some pretty bad boys back in the day.

[laughs]

Yeah.

How have you been?

I’m good, you know.

Living the life, you know.

How are you doing?

Well, that’s a stupid question.

You’re doing great.

I’m all right. I’m all right, you know.

It’s good to see you.

You too.

Yeah.

Man.

Okay, well…

See you, man.

All right.

Nice to see you.

[awkward chuckling]

I’m not following you.

I’m parked over here.

Maybe we should grab a coffee or something sometime.

Oh, man, that would be great, you know.

And how would I…

We… Maybe I’ll contact your office or something?

[Ron] Just call me.

I’ll get the message if you…

There you go.

Oh. Yeah.

Okay. Great.

And if it’s not cool, don’t feel obligated.

Actually, I have time now.

Oh, that’s great. Hey.

Uh, do you remember Chez Jay by the water?

Sure, yeah, okay. I’ll meet you there.

Budday!

[chuckles]

Do I follow you?

It’s all right, Silvano, you can go home.

We’re okay with this guy?

He’s an old friend.

I haven’t seen him in years.

There will be people there.

It’s all right.

I remember people. I’ll see you tomorrow.

No, you won’t. Remember?

I have the tennis finals with Vivi.

That’s right. Good luck.

Take it easy on the drinks.

Yeah, I will.

‘Cause it’s an emotional day.

Stick to beer.

[“Thunder Island” by Jay Ferguson playing]

♪ Doodoodoodoo, doodoodoo ♪

[Tim] My guru says that when someone is dying and getting closer to the spiritual world… Thank you.

That they get less afraid of death.

You got a guru, man. That’s great.

Death, it becomes less real.

And… of course power and success become completely unreal, because they’re no longer relevant.

But like Peter said, all that’s left… is love.

That was beautiful.

I know.

[woman] Okay, I’m doing it.

Hi. Could I get a picture?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Okay, thank you.

Yeah, here we go.

Got it?

Yep.

Love to get your guru’s number.

Oh, yeah, he’s magic. He’s best by text.

This place is so great.

[Tim chuckles] I haven’t been here since… since we were in class.

Do you see anyone from class?

No.

No. Do you?

Oh, yeah. We have reunions.

I think that you’re the only one that still works.

Oh, Cindy does a lot of voiceovers.

But you were the one we all looked up to.

Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, yeah.

You were the best of all of us.

You were method.

I wasn’t method.

You were method.

I was method light.

You could do anything.

I could watch you do anything.

I could watch you read this menu.

Do that thing. Do it.

Read the menu. Come on.

Okay, all right. All right.

This is no emotional choice.

Uh, truffle parmesan fries, Brussels sprouts with balsamic honey glaze and bacon, 12 dollars.

Wedge of iceberg lettuce, shrimp cocktail, calamari with lemon aioli sauce, 15 dollars.

Hey…

Now do it with an emotional choice.

I don’t know, man.

I don’t do this anymore.

I’m a child therapist.

[drums table] Do it.

Jay Kelly stare.

And action!

[both laugh] Okay. All right.

[inhales deeply]

[both exhale]

Let’s see. What would Larry say?

Okay.

Okay, I’m remembering something that’s really important to me.

I can see him.

[voice breaking] I can… I can hear him.

I can talk through it.

[gasps, sniffles]

Truffle parmesan fries.

[sighs]

[sniffles]

Brussels sprouts with balsamic honey glaze and bacon.

Twelve dollars.

[laughter crumbles into sobs]

[sniffles]

A wedge of iceberg lettuce and shrimp cocktail.

[sobbing continues]

Calamari with lemon aioli sauce is 15 dollars.

[muffled weeping]

[normal voice]

That’s what method acting is.

[both laughing]

That’s amazing. Oh, my God.

No, my problem was I was not ambitious.

It’s such a hard business.

I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

I keep thinking I might just stop.

No, come on.

You’ve done all right, Jay Kelly.

[chuckles] I made two bad decisions.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

You know I passed on the original 90210? I was doing Hamlet in Louisville.

Ah, that’s cool.

I haven’t done a play in… oh, since high school.

What was the other one?

I let you come to that audition.

But my boys got to see me waiting outside the school gates every day.

I gotta think that counts for something.

For sure it does.

It counts for everything. Everything.

Hey, I’m sorry.

I read about your divorces, and your girls, they must be full-grown people by now.

Daisy starts school in the fall.

Thankfully, she doesn’t give a shit about acting.

But… I’m freaking out, I…

Thinking about her leaving.

I feel like I missed it.

Hey…

Tragedy of parenting.

We are only successful once we’ve made ourselves irrelevant.

That’s so sad.

Come on.

You’ve made the right choices for you.

You make movies, man.

That’s what the world wants from you.

My world is much smaller.

I take the dogs to the park.

Being with my family and my patients.

Nice to see you, Tim.

And it’s nice to talk about those times.

Nice to be in touch with you and with… also that guy.

Guy I was.

Is it?

Uh, yeah.

I don’t think you want to meet that guy again.

What?

I’m gonna be honest with you.

I can’t stand you.

You kind of stole my life.

I didn’t steal anything from you.

Really? You stole my job.

And you stole my girlfriend.

At 23, I didn’t have much more than that.

And now, every time I pick up a magazine, I’m forced to read about Jay Kelly and his amazing origin story.

How he accompanied his friend to an audition for Peter Schneider, only he got the part. Imagine that.

But they never wonder about the friend.

The guy he took it from.

I got Peter to cast you.

I was a glorified extra.

I had one line.

I gotta go.

If people knew what I do about you…

I gotta get up early.

I’ll get the bill.

I got it already.

Hey, can you sign this for me?

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Hey, don’t worry.

I’m not gonna tell people.

I’m not that kind of guy.

You know, I don’t actually know what kind of a guy you are.

You’re not that important to me.

You’re important to other people en masse maybe, but not to me.

Sorry you feel that way.

I always had fond thoughts of you.

[sighs]

I’m not the only one who feels this.

Your daughter agrees with me.

Daisy?

Jessica.

We’re Facebook friends.

I recommended the therapist for her in San Diego.

That guy’s a charl…

Don’t talk to Jessica.

You’re gonna tell me who to be friends with?

I’m not gonna tell you who to be friends with.

She calls you an empty vessel.

Maybe she’s right.

Is there a person in there?

Maybe you… don’t actually exist.

[tires squeak]

My car’s here. Let’s just leave it.

[exhales]

I’ve always had this fantasy of hitting you.

[ragged laughter]

I should have done this years ago.

[Jay grunts]

Oh!

[Tim] Come on.

Come on.

You were never gonna get that part.

Never. [growls]

[racket hits tennis ball]

You got this, puppy.

I know. I’m just getting that feeling I feel.

That’s fine. Now say goodbye to that.

I’m trying.

[ringtone chiming]

Sorry, Liz, can Ron call you back?

Vivienne’s serving for the match.

[shouts] Out.

I know.

I’m just saying it’s out.

But Michelle, it’s the way you said it.

He can call you after the match.

[Vivienne] Sorry, Dad.

I heard Mom and I got distracted.

I did too. I understand.

Sweetheart, you can’t talk while we’re playing.

I know. I’m sorry. Liz says it’s urgent.

Dad, do you know about ghosts?

Hold on, Vivienne gets a doover because she was distracted.

Dad, I don’t want a doover.

[Mom] Ron.

What rules are you playing by?

Gordon, this isn’t the French Open.

Give the girl another serve.

I give Vivienne another serve, then why not give Michelle another serve?

Hell, I’d like another serve too, while we’re at it. Let chaos reign.

[Mom] Ron.

I don’t want another serve.

It’s not another because that one shouldn’t have happened.

Uh… Right.

Yes?

[Liz] You don’t pick up your phone?

We’re serving for the match.

We need you now, Ron. Dad.

I can’t come now.

We’re in the middle of a game.

It’s Jay.

[child] Dad.

Jay knows I have this tournament.

Jay’s dropping out of the movie that he starts in a week.

The Louis Brothers movie?

Dad.

David, don’t put your mouth on the fence.

I like the taste of it.

He’s not dropping out. This is Jay when he wraps a movie. He always does this.

Believe me, Ron. It’s bad.

It’s really, really bad.

[Gordon] Ron.

Today.

He got a work call.

[David] Dad.

Dad.

[Vivienne] Dad.

Fine, I’m coming.

Do you know about ghosts, Dad?

I do, David.

Ghosts are the spirits of dead people who come back to Earth if they have unfinished business.

[Michelle] Ad out. It’s our serve.

So change in plans.

We got to suspend the game.

Suspend the game?

No. No way, Ron.

Something’s come up. I have to go.

Where?

To Jay’s.

You suspend, you forfeit.

Says who, Gordon?

The tournament rules.

What if it was raining?

It’s not raining, Ron.

It’s not raining, Dad.

Ron.

I feel good. We can win.

I know. I have to go.

[upbeat orchestral music playing]

They’re waiting for you.

Thank God.

What happened yesterday?

[Ron] Nothing.

We went to Peter’s memorial.

He bumped into an old friend.

They went out for drinks.

Something happened.

If he pulls out, he’ll be in breach.

You’re not making quesadillas by any chance?

[chef] I… I can.

Where’s Jay?

[Meg] In his bedroom.

He is packing.

Packing for what?

I don’t know.

Quitting would be financially devastating.

Devastating on a reputation level.

His box office is not what it was.

Nobody’s is.

He’s not 25 anymore.

He’s not 55 anymore.

Okay, now the studio’s calling.

You done? Everybody done?

No one’s in breach. Jay’s doing the movie.

That’s not what he’s saying.

Well, now I’m here.

Well, then find out why he has a black eye.

He has a black eye?

[music ends abruptly]

Jay?

Hey, brother.

Hey, puppy.

What’s the packing?

You just come from the game?

How’d you and Vivienne do?

Well, we were up 54 and serving…

I do too many movies.

…but it’s fine. What’s the packing?

You think I do too many movies?

I think you do just the right amount.

You think I do too many movies?

You do work a lot.

See? Barbara tells me the truth.

What happened last night?

You can’t have too much underwear. Hup!

How’d you get the black eye?

I’ll tell you on the plane.

What plane?

The plane that I booked.

We’re leaving in 1.

Where are we going?

Meg, where are we going?

France.

France.

France?

[Meg] I spoke to Daisy’s friend Rio’s mom, Claire, Rio uses her mom’s credit card so Claire can see the charges online.

[Jay] Of course she can.

Daisy and her friends are currently in Paris and due to leave for Italy after the jazz festival on Tuesday.

Right. You kids and your computers.

France.

We have a fitting on Monday.

Not if we’re in Paris, we don’t.

Both Louis brothers are gonna be there.

Marvin and Yusuf.

If you need a couple days to clear your head, I’ll tell the studio…

Tell them that I’m joining Daisy and her friends at a jazz festival in Paris, and then we are catching a train to Italy.

And you’re tracking her through her friend’s mother’s credit card.

It’s my last chance to spend time with her before she’s gone forever.

I’m fairly certain Daisy doesn’t want you following her around Europe with your entourage.

I am the Dior ambassador, so there’s every reason to be in Paris.

And then I’m receiving that tribute in Tuscany.

I said no to the tribute. You said no.

I told them never.

Call and tell them yes.

Listen, take a few days, drive up the coast, order that Pinot you liked at the Post Ranch.

Remember the towels?

[both laugh]

What did that even mean?

[Jay] I do… [sighs]

How about I push the fitting to Tuesday?

Listen.

If you don’t want to come, I’ll go alone.

You, on your own, wandering through Europe is like a little gazelle alone in the Serengeti.

But not a gazelle. A cocker spaniel.

Well, this cocker spaniel will take his chances.

[determined music playing]

Today, Daisy and her friends were at the Louvre, Café de Flore, a flea market, and they’re staying at a youth hostel in the 11th.

Now we’re cooking.

After we land, we can surprise her at the jazz festival.

Perfect.

What do you mean, they’re giving the tribute to someone else?

Some history.

When Jay passed on the tribute, I got them to offer it to Ben Alcock.

You gave Jay’s tribute to another one of your clients?

Somebody had to take it, and it’s a good piece of architecture for Ben.

Fuck a duck. Does Jay know about this?

I spoke to Antonio.

They’re gonna do two tributes.

But currently, there’s only one trophy.

I’m missing, like, three junkets, a Vanity Fair cover shoot and Justin’s little league whatever for this cluster fuck.

I know. But it’s Jay.

Why does he have a black eye, Ron?

We’re getting to that.

Uh-huh.

This is why I could never marry you.

Why, because I’m loyal?

[scoffs] No. Because you enable.

[out of tune]

♪ We’re on the road to Paris ♪

Oh, man, now we have to listen to him play the piano.

♪ We’re going to Paris by plane ♪

Sing it, Ronnie!

[clunky piano continues]

♪ An adventure to the place ♪

♪ Where… ♪

I don’t know the words.

Come on, Ronnie.

Justin’s on the B team. It’s so sad.

You guys, he doesn’t know where to run.

It’s so sad.

Look. [groans] He’s really bad at baseball.

Should I take a half or a whole?

What’s the dosage?

You forget your glasses?

I left in a hurry.

Can’t say goodbye to David or he has a meltdown.

The therapist said I should say goodbye anyway so he knows I’m leaving.

He’ll be okay. He’s five.

They block it.

He’s five, but I probably should have said goodbye.

Take a whole. Otherwise, you’ll stress out and end up waking me up.

So, what this man on the podcast was saying is that we’re always, always every age.

Like, literally?

Well, I don’t know literally.

Yeah, I’ll take a whole.

[Candy] So when I’m 10, I’m also 30, and also 80.

And vice versa.

Why do you have a black eye, puppy?

I’ll tell you when we get to France.

But it’s nothing I need to know now, right?

Are you running to something or from something?

Yes.

[Krista] When I remember kindergarten, I’m my age now, right?

How would I know how you remember yourself?

[male voice] What does it feel like to be famous? It doesn’t feel like anything, as far as I know. You talk about fame and success, and this sunlit life and happiness.

You talk about me as if I’m some kind of a king.

But your words are just… sweetness that disappears in your mouth…

[tutor] Okay, Jay, can you stop there?

What did you feel just then?

[young Jay] I felt conceited. Successful.

A star.

You want to be a star?

I mean…

Yeah, sure.

[scattered chuckles]

[tutor] Go on. What else?

[young Jay]

Enjoying patronizing a young girl.

Thinking I’m a king.

Did that seem powerful, kingly, to you?

[student] Looked like a lot of posturing.

[tutor] How old are you, Jay?

Twenty-three.

[tutor] I’m not interested in seeing you try to be a famous writer in prerevolutionary Russia.

I want to see the hungover kid who just got off the bus from Kentucky… who’s trying to impress all the cute girls in the class.

Basically, just be myself?

Do you know how hard it is to be yourself?

[young Jay] Uh-huh.

[tutor] If you’re lucky enough to act professionally you’ll be lying for a living.

The better you lie, the more truthful you’ll seem, and the more successful you’ll be.

That’s confusing shit for a young man who doesn’t tend towards introspection.

You say you want to be a star.

Well, I’ve known a few of those.

That’s a whole other layer of head fuck.

[students titter]

[chuckles] Now you gotta act twice.

Once when you play the part, and then again when you play yourself.

You have to really want that.

I do.

[whispers] I do.

[tutor] Hey, Tim.

Yeah?

[tutor] Wanna have a go?

Sure.

[young Jay, whispering]

Show ’em how to do it.

What does it feel like to be famous?

I don’t feel like anything, as far as I know.

You talk about fame and success, and this sunlit life and happiness.

You talk about me as if I’m some kind of a king.

But your words are like a sweetness that disappears in your mouth in an instant.

I see nothing especially lovely about it.

I must go at once and begin writing again.

Tim’s having a panic attack.

Why?

I have a huge audition for Peter Schneider.

Dude, that’s amazing.

Tim hates auditions.

I am the worst auditioner.

I’ve barely ever gotten an audition.

It’s so not a test of talent.

It’s a test of something.

Your talent will shine through.

It always does.

Go with him, Jay.

You’re a calming influence.

Come by the bar after. Free drinks.

We will.

[overlapping monologues]

[door creaks open]

[monologues trail off]

[footsteps echo]

[door clicks closed]

[monologues resume]

“I used to want to die.

I’d imagine my funeral.”

I think he’s from the sticks.

“All the pretty girls crying.”

Then he goes on about the sky and the stars.

He’s too poetic for a hick kid.

He’d be more like…

[drawling] “There are too many girls I ain’t laid.”

“Dede Duffy, for one.” [chuckles] I don’t know, um…

Shit like, “I might even grow more.”

“There’s so many things I ain’t done yet, I don’t…

I don’t have the vocabulary to list them.”

That’s better. You should say that.

I can’t mess with their script.

You’re gonna do great in there.

I just get so fucking nervous at these things.

Well, look at this.

It’s a sign. You’re gonna get this, buddy, I can feel it.

Thanks, buddy.

Eat it, for good luck.

What?

Come on. Just a corner.

Harness his powers.

Stop it, man. You’re freaking me out.

[woman] Tim Galligan.

Uh, yeah.

Will you read with me?

Yeah.

Thanks.

[Tim] Hi.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Uh, who are you here to read?

[mouth full] To read with my friend.

[swallows] If that’s okay.

Yeah.

Thanks.

[woman] I’ll get you some sides.

Oh, thanks.

Here you go.

Thank you.

[exhales shakily]

What’s your beef, Tilly?

I ain’t got no beef.

Yeah? But you got that look.

That line in your forehead that goes from here to here.

I used to want to die.

I’d imagine my funeral.

All the pretty girls crying.

But I don’t want to die, now.

I haven’t seen enough.

I never really looked at these trees.

And the sky.

But now that…

[casting director] Thank you very much.

There’s more. I didn’t finish.

[casting director] It’s fine. Thank you.

Thank you, Timothy.

Thank you so much. Very nicely done.

[door opens]

Would it be cool if I read too?

No, I’m sorry.

If you’re not on the appointment sheet…

Yes, sweetheart, that would be fine.

I mean, if that’s okay.

Uh, yeah.

[door closes]

What’s your beef, Tilly?

[drawls] I ain’t got no beef.

Yeah? You got that look.

That line in your forehead that goes from here to here.

I used to want to die.

I’d imagine my funeral.

All the pretty girls crying.

But I don’t want to die now.

I haven’t seen enough.

There’s too many girls I ain’t laid.

Dede Duffy, for one.

Hell, I might even grow more.

There’s so many things I ain’t done.

I don’t have the vocabulary to list them.

And I’ve only been as far as Archer City.

But I… I don’t need to see Paris, or Rome, or one of them places they got kings.

I’m the king here.

I’m the king of this dust cloud.

I’m-I’m the king of my Coca-Cola.

I’m the king of Cranberry Street.

[woman] Thank you.

Would it trouble you to read another scene?

I’d love to.

I’m sorry about changing the lines, by the way…

No, dear, we liked it very much.

[poignant piano music playing]

[dialogue fades to whispers]

[casting director] Thank you.

[Jay] Yeah, okay.

[music continues]

[young Jay, faintly] No, let’s just…

[door closes]

[Candy] Does that hurt?

[Jay] No, it’s okay.

It’s fine.

[Candy] You’d never know.

[music continues]

[music fades]

My father used to say, “The first person you meet when you get off a plane is you.”

Well, it should be the greeter.

Remember the last time we were in Paris?

The Chanel show? It was in silence out of respect for the war.

I remember Gucci, but that was very loud.

Maybe it was for peace.

Thank you so much, Antonio.

They’re blowing a second trophy for Jay.

Great.

We arrived in Paris, and we’ll be heading your way tomorrow.

[Meg] Just getting all my texts.

According to Rio’s mom, Daisy bought tickets for a 10 o’clock train to Italy.

They’re not doing the jazz thing?

Apparently not.

All right, better head straight to the train.

Flag on the play!

We’re catching a train to Italy.

A train?

Hold on.

We’re literally standing next to a plane.

Why did we fly to Paris then?

[Ron] We’re coming, but by train.

[Candy] Oh, no.

I booked a job for this afternoon.

I’m giving Emmanuel Macron a haircut.

Can you cancel?

He’s my first president.

Oh, my God. So, yeah…

[Meg] 10 o’clock.

We’ll be on the 10 o’clock.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I can’t put Jay Kelly on a train.

You’re right, Antonio.

It’s the most romantic way to travel.

There should be some sort of official car or something maybe.

With a seal, or… I think there’s…

[bright French accordion music playing]

I’m an atheist who supports the established church.

I approve of everything about it but God.

But if there were no God, life would be absurd.

Well, exactly.

Fuck. Is that Jay Kelly?

Thank you.

All right, garçons, that’s great.

If he signs one, it’ll be a thousand.

Just get him on the train.

You’re going to have a trophy.

So you needn’t worry.

Was there ever not going to be a trophy?

That’s what I do. I fix things so you don’t have to know about them.

If I don’t have to know, why are you telling me?

Because we were late with the acceptance, and they gave Ben Alcock the award.

There was only…

You gave Ben my tribute?

You said no, puppy!

Then I said yes.

I would never say this to Ben.

This stays in the cone, but you’re the first choice.

You’re the headliner.

You know that, puppy.

I’m so confused talking to you right now.

[Ron] I can’t believe I’m catching shit for this.

Daisy! Hey!

No.

[young woman speaking French]

No, no, no. Ce n’est pas Jay Kelly.

[young woman speaking French] Excusezmoi.

Seat 48.

That doesn’t sound like first class.

It isn’t.

We’re putting Jay Kelly in seat 48?

You tell me.

There were no first class tickets.

Maybe no first class at all.

I don’t know. They all speak French here.

We have Jay Kelly the movie actor here with us.

Do you have a private area?

[speaking French] But…

[speaking French]

[in English] Fifty days after Easter.

Very busy holiday for the French.

I don’t know who to be mad at, but I’m finding myself being mad at you, Ron.

Be mad at me, Liz.

The train was my idea.

That’s the problem.

I’m not allowed to be mad at you.

According to Claire, Rio got a chai latte at the Starbucks at Gare de Lyon 45 minutes ago.

You don’t go to a train station for coffee.

I mean, it would be weird.

[overlapping chatter]

[nostalgic piano music playing]

[various voices] Jay Kelly.

Do you think he’s fallen on hard times?

It’s research for a part.

Sorry, speak louder. I’m on a French train on a French holiday…

I’ll have him there Monday morning.

I don’t know, the Fête fucking Nationale. Well, then move the fitting to the first day of the shoot.

Wait, what? Say that last part again?

Can you hear me?

It’s 50 days from Easter here, I’m sorry.

One more time. I want to get this right.

We’re playing three-dimensional… four-dimensional chess here.

Are you fucking kidding me?

I know that’s not what Jay says.

It’s what I say. I’ll get him back.

It’s bad.

Hold on. Let me get somewhere…

Let me call you back.

[Liz] Just put him through.

[Scotswoman] I can’t believe he’s actually on this train with us.

Are you real?

I believe so. Yes.

And will you be using the same bathroom as us?

I’ll try to remember to put the seat down.

[laughter] Nice, regular guy.

He’s a good egg.

A real double-yolker.

I read that that he’s never the seducer in his films.

I’m sorry. There’s so many people here.

I haven’t been on a train in 20 years.

Thirty, maybe.

[Ron] A subway.

I can’t tell you the last time I was on a subway.

Oh, the Kozak picture.

Right, the chase scene.

It was on a stage, but the dimensions were very accurate.

We saw you’re being honored at a prestigious Tuscan Arts Festival.

Aren’t you too young to be having a tribute?

You’re very kind, but I don’t know how many more movies I have in me.

At least one more.

I’d like to have a tribute in Italy.

Clive, they don’t give tributes to computer programmers in Italy or anywhere.

I expect you’ll get all dressed up and invite all your friends and family.

That’s what I’d do, anyway, so…

Clive’s right. It’s your career.

Let’s do it up.

Invite your kids. Invite your dad.

My dad?

Well, I know, but why not?

My kids. I don’t know about my dad.

He’s your dad.

He’s not gonna be here forever.

Okay.

All right, but you call him.

We can send him a plane if he wants.

Done.

All right.

Oh, my…

When I look at you, I see my whole life. [chortles] I talked to Rich at the studio.

They’ll push the fitting.

Alan called.

[speaking Italian]

[woman speaking Italian]

[whispering] Jay was in a bar fight.

He broke a child therapist’s nose.

He broke a child what?

Did you know this?

Did he say anything about this?

[Jay] I wanted it very badly.

No.

Do you like being famous?

You must have such a wonderful sunlit life. You’re so happy.

I think it’d be terrible being famous.

Everyone looking at you, talking about you.

It’s like being crazy, isn’t it?

Yes.

Clearly doesn’t help with travel.

Packed in with us plebs.

[couple giggles]

So what do you all do?

Where are you all going?

Milan.

[speaks Italian]

[in English] Farm equipment.

My father was in farm equipment.

I go to Pisa.

[speaks Italian]

[in English] I’m a fireman.

I played a fireman.

[woman] Florence!

[priest] We work in the Vatican.

[passengers all calling out] Explain what is happening.

My thoughts are formulating in real time here, Liz.

[woman 2] We’re just on a girls’ trip.

[Scotswoman] We’re going to get shagged!

[Clive] Computers. Wedding.

Life coach. Also wedding.

Remember the last time we were in Paris?

I don’t want to talk about it.

‘Cause we never did… talk about it.

Twenty years ago, I left you up the Eiffel Tower.

[Ron] Nineteen years ago.

I don’t want to talk about it.

I looked you up. You’re 60.

Yes.

You can’t get old.

If you’re getting old, that means I am.

I’ll stop if you will.

[passengers laugh] Deal!

Do you want some peanuts?

Sure, sure!

What do you say to people who say you only play yourself?

Do you know how difficult it is to be yourself?

You try it.

You know, I’m having a tribute in Tuscany on Saturday.

And you all should come.

All of you. Yeah!

Yes, just talk to my publicist Liz right there.

[Clive] What time, Jay?

Sorry.

[young woman] Do you have any regrets?

What’s your name?

Phoebe.

You’re a tough one, Phoebe.

I’ll see you all in Tuscany!

[cheering]

Arrivederci!

[laughs] Everyone is so nice.

People are so nice.

By the way, these are the best peanuts I’ve ever had. Try one.

It’s a good peanut. A European peanut.

I didn’t offer you one because I know about your allergy.

That’s right.

My throat will close, and I will die.

How can I play people when I don’t see people?

Don’t touch people?

Don’t touch people.

So, puppy, you know those times you say, “Don’t tell me unless I really need to know”?

This isn’t one of those times…

Why didn’t you tell us you punched a child therapist in a bar fight?

I didn’t think he’d…

Sue? He’s suing.

I know it’s difficult to be honest…

You have to tell us everything, or we can’t do our jobs.

…who love you no matter what.

More difficult.

Why are you saying that?

We do. We love him.

You love him. I work for him.

You know I adore you.

But when the press gets ahold of this, we need a counternarrative.

He hit you first?

Is that how you got the black eye?

‘Cause “Jay Kelly defends himself from crazed stalker” sounds a whole lot better than “Jay Kelly beats up defenseless child therapist.”

That’s not what happened.

Well, how would we know that?

If I’ve made my last movie, I’m all right with that.

I had a good run.

[Ron] You don’t mean that.

[Liz] You broke his nose.

They’re claiming this, from Alan.

“Multiple fractures needing surgery, plus permanent reduction in sense of smell…”

He says I stole his life.

“…and potential deformity, can result in compensation up to $100,000,000.”

[lock clicks]

[exhales]

[deep sigh]

[indistinct train announcement]

Jay Kelly.

Jay Kelly. Jay.

Jay Kelly.

Jay.

Kelly.

[boy speaks French] Come on! Quickly! We’re going to miss it!

Hurry up!

[friend] Daisy, I’m coming.

[Jay] Jay Kelly.

Jay Kelly.

Gary Cooper.

Cary Grant.

Jay Kelly.

[whistle sounds]

Clark Gable.

Jay Kelly.

Robert De Niro.

[train screeching into movement]

Jay Kelly.

[train picking up speed]

Jay Kelly.

[child chattering faintly]

[teacher] Bye, honey. Bye, Mommy, see you. Have a good weekend.

I can’t believe you drove here from LA by yourself.

I wanted to see you in your life.

I’ve been in San Diego for almost a year.

Well, my last movie went long.

And then I had this vodka ad in Greece, so I’m lucky to have a weekend.

I know you’re busy.

I jumped in the truck and I drove all the way down here.

So, can you, like…

At this point, can you just go into a gas station alone?

Yeah, I do self-serve, and then I just put a baseball cap over my eyes.

What about having to pee?

Side of the road.

God, Dad.

[Jay chuckles]

I love seeing you with those kids.

They adore you.

Well, I finally found what I really want to do.

It took a minute, God knows.

You know, acting really fucked me up.

It’s really insecure-making.

I don’t know how you do it.

I’m insecure.

[humorless chuckle] No, but you always had it.

Even when you were little, and those shows you would do in the backyard with your sister.

[announcing, halfheartedly]

“It’s… Kelly and Kelly.”

No, it was “Kelly and Kelly.”

I’m just so happy for you.

Listen, if I could help out with the rent or support you…

No, that’s okay, Dad.

I’m glad you’re here, though.

You wanna go for a drive?

It’s Theo’s birthday next week, by the way.

No, I know.

You don’t have to remind me.

Right, you have people who do that for you.

No, I know it’s the 24th.

I got him a pony that’s the actual size of a pony, but it’s stuffed.

Oh, he’ll love that.

Where are we going?

I’ve been seeing a therapist, and…

Hm.

He’s become a very important part of my life.

I made an appointment for both of us with Carter.

Carter’s the…

[sighs]

I’m hungry. Why don’t we stop, get a bite and just talk, just the two of us?

This is why I didn’t tell you.

Because I knew you wouldn’t want to do it.

This is very important to me.

[engine shuts off]

I’m sorry about the shades.

I have a retinal disorder.

So I’m very sensitive to bright light.

I tell him it makes him mysterious.

[chuckles] You should be the one with the dark glasses.

When it’s sunny, yeah.

[Carter chuckles]

[sighs]

Do you surf?

A little bit. I’m not very good.

I’m guessing that you do.

Mm. Every day, until I broke my femur.

Then I got my psychology degree.

I’m sorry.

But… I guess good?

Yeah, a door and a window, right?

Yeah.

Well, thank you for coming.

It’s very brave.

Okay.

Jessie and I have been doing a lot of work these past weeks.

And Jessie wrote you a letter.

It’s from her ten-year-old self.

She’d like me to read it.

Why don’t you read it?

Because I can’t get through it without sobbing, so we decided that Carter should read it.

[Jay] Oh.

Okay, it’s… If you…

[Carter] “Dear Jay”, When you abandoned me…”

Hold on, I didn’t abandon you.

That’s your mother talking.

Try not to comment until I finish.

I left her. I didn’t leave you.

I was with her.

Just because I wasn’t there doesn’t mean I stopped being your father.

Jessie’s told me a bit about your relationship with your own father.

I’m not like my father.

My father’s a rageful, bitter egomaniac.

Perhaps your determination not to be like him took precedence over being a father yourself.

Keep reading.

“You say you always want to be with me.”

But your actions aren’t speaking the way your words are.

My worst day was when my babysitter rented that movie you did with Daphne Spender.

She couldn’t believe I had never seen it.

And in it… you were this great father… and you were so sweet with the little boy… and with Daphne.

[voice breaking] I cried and cried.

“It was like you had a happy family.”

Can’t do it. Can’t do it.

[normal voice] I’m not finished.

You’re not gonna hear the whole letter?

Not if Carter reads it, no.

I knew that you would find a way to make this about you.

Carter said you would.

Carter is crying in there.

I find it interesting that you’re not crying.

Tell him the best way to make an audience cry is to not cry.

Do you know how I know that you didn’t want to spend time with me?

Because you didn’t spend time with me.

[solemn music playing]

[doors slams]

[sunny music playing]

[passengers chattering]

She’s in the cafe car.

Explain to me, Ron.

If he doesn’t care, why should we?

Liz, of course he cares. This is just how he’s managing his feelings.

“They’re so nice.”

Of course they’re nice.

You’ve walked off a movie screen.

You think they’re like this with everyone?

They do seem like a nice group.

We’re in second class on a French train to nowhere, taking care of an infant.

Worse, an infant who hit a guy.

We’ve known him for 30 years.

We clearly don’t know Jay.

And who knows what else is out there?

Whatever hillbilly shit he did in Kentucky.

It can spiral.

It was different when we were young.

It was fun. Jay was our baby.

We’re gonna handle this.

Acting out at 60 is a bad look.

We’re gonna get him to the tribute.

He’s going to feel the love.

He’s behaving like he’s the first person to ever have a nervous breakdown.

Remember…

We’re all having nervous breakdowns, Ron.

We’ve got grapes.

Want some?

Banana?

Every single fucking second.

That was actually quite rude.

[group giggling]

Why, Ron?

Why should we be chasing around an infant when we have actual living kids at home who are aging by the minute?

Because we are supporting a great artist who shares with other human beings what it is to be a human being.

We’re human too, Ron.

More so, maybe.

It’s not about us.

Our love isn’t conditional. It’s…

We’re like parents or imaginary friends.

We vanish under cloak of night, with no trace.

Maybe an elegant business card that floats…

What the fuck are you talking about?

He’s not our family or our friend.

He was just at Vivienne’s sweet 16.

Were you at Daisy’s graduation?

I think… I think it was small.

You weren’t invited, because it only goes one way.

No one wants to say it, but it does.

We’re not to him what he is to us.

I disagree.

[no audible dialogue]

[gentle music playing]

[music stops]

What’s wrong?

Okay. My father is Jay Kelly.

[scoffs] Like the actor?

Yes, like the actor, and also is the actor.

The reason I’m telling you is because he’s standing right in front of us.

Hey!

Hey.

[Jay chuckles awkwardly]

I guess we’re on the same train.

Yeah, it’s crazy, isn’t it?

It’s weird, Dad.

Well, I had to be in Paris for a Dior campaign and other bits and bobs, and then I made this train… for my tribute in Tuscany.

Hey, Rio.

So…

How was the jazz festival?

Well… we didn’t go.

Guillaume says it’s all fusion now.

Bonjour.

Guillaume.

Guigui.

Guigui. I’m Jay. Hi.

Guillaume was our waiter at Café de Flore.

He’s a singer and a filmmaker.

No, I’m not. That’s…

It’s embarrassing to say filmmaker to you.

No, it isn’t.

No, it’s not.

Daisy, how does it feel to have the hero of so many brilliant films of our time to be your father?

Yes, Daisy, how does that feel?

[laughs]

I think I know him too well to tell.

Jay Kelly is a hero of cinema.

I like this guy.

[speaks French]

[speaks French]

Wow.

What was I gonna tell you?

Anyway, listen, I don’t want to intrude.

I just wanted to invite you all to my tribute on Saturday.

I can totally get tickets for all five of you.

Since when did you care so much about a tribute?

I don’t know. I think I care.

I’m inviting Dad.

I think I’d make it a family thing.

You invited Grandpa?

Do you really want him there?

I’d like him to come.

And I’m inviting Jessica too.

Jessie?

Yeah.

It’s a little more complicated with her, ’cause you and I are in the same country.

On the same train.

[chuckles]

Let me get back to you about it, okay?

We’re on kind of a tight schedule.

[Guigui] We’re going to this ancient horse race.

It’s gonna be fun.

Uh…

So, um…

Paris was great?

It was amazing.

All right, so tell me everything.

We jumped off rocks into pools in the woods.

We went to this crazy bar that David Lynch designed, and I ate a brain.

[camera whirring] We went to Delacroix’s house.

Do you know his paintings?

They’re really, really amazing.

Dad, are you listening to me?

[camera stops]

I’m listening to you.

This is the look of me listening.

You asked me about Paris.

Start again, just two sentences back.

You’re so ADD.

I’m gonna go get some snacks.

No, don’t get snacks. No, stay, come on.

I’m sorry. It’s strange.

It’s great, but it’s…

It’s strange hearing about your experiences and seeing you so independent.

I’m sorry. Okay, so tell me…

Uh, you ate a brain.

I ate a brain.

And we danced with these tango kids outside of the opera house.

And I think I want to act.

Wow.

All right.

After college, if it’s still something that you feel you want to do, then…

I think I might not want to go to college right now.

Guigui’s making a film in Sicily, and he’s asked me to be in it.

It’s just a little thing about memories and dreams.

You’re going to college.

You worked incredibly hard, and this is an amazing opportunity.

One that I never had.

I never even allowed myself to think of being an actor because of you, but I am good.

I know you always thought Jessie was the talented one.

You’re one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met.

I just don’t think you want that life.

That is so hypocritical.

Acting has been your whole life.

I know how difficult it is, and how much you miss, and how crazy it makes you, and how lonely it makes you.

You’re never alone.

Thanks, Silvano.

You’re welcome.

Just think about the tribute.

‘Cause I can make it work from the horse race or wherever you are.

I can send a car or a helicopter.

There’s a jet picking up your grandpa.

Whatever you need.

How did you end up on this train, Dad?

Well…

I knew. I…

I… I knew, because, uh, Rio is using her mom’s credit card.

Oh, my God. That is so fucked up.

Rio, your mother’s tracking you on your Amex.

Fuck.

I wanted to surprise you.

You stalked me to Europe.

I’m here because you can’t just leave and stop being a kid.

I haven’t spent enough time with you.

It’s you and all your people.

Come on. I’m not that guy.

No, you’re totally that guy.

You can’t say “helicopter” and not be that guy.

I’m just trying to make it easy for you…

I don’t want a helicopter or a jet.

I just want to be on a rickety train and in a youth hostel and in a tent.

I want to have this holiday without you, Dad.

I fucking hate you, Mom.

You’re worse than Russia.

Forgive me.

I will never forgive you.

[Rio] No!

Do not cancel the card.

Nice to meet you.

[train announcement in French]

[announcement in French continues]

[Ron] Don’t go.

He needs you.

I need you.

[Krista] Tell Jay I’m sorry.

My dog ate a screw.

I wrote him an apology.

It’s like we always say.

If it feels good, don’t do it.

And here are the outfits for each event.

They’re color coded.

I’m doing it.

You did just bolt that night.

Back then on the Eiffel Tower.

We just sat down to dinner.

I wanted to turn our phones off.

But you said, “Keep them on just in case.”

And of course we got the call.

Jay had been photographed with that daughter of the French ambassador.

One of us had to go.

I stayed to keep the table.

I was so nervous… because I had a ring planted in the ganache.

I never knew that part.

Yeah, it was like a very romantic movie.

But one that is not romantic at all, in fact, because… you never came back.

Well, I was with Jay. [sighs] And you were calling.

Jay is always gonna come first.

We were never going to have a moment that was just ours.

I’m sorry about the Eiffel Tower.

It’s okay. I’m happy.

I know.

And, uh, me too.

[poignant music playing]

And also, I’m sorry.

Thank you.

Save yourself.

[whistle blows]

[conductor yelling in French and Italian]

[music continues]

[train announcement in French]

[group groans]

What did they say?

The bloody air conditioning is no more.

Oh, swell.

[cell phone buzzing]

Hi.

Vivienne’s feet are swollen like I have never seen swollen.

Wait, wait. Swollen how?

Like after the cello recital?

So much worse, Ron.

I can’t get into my Jordans, Dad.

I had to wear Crocs.

Her feet look like big blimps.

We’re on our way to Dr. Fenner’s.

I’m doing everything I can to keep it together.

It’s disgusting, Dad.

Michael Bronfman said it looks deformed.

Michael Bronfman is an asshole.

[laughing]

[David] Dad.

When did the swelling start this time?

Right after the tennis debacle.

Oh, God. Almost immediately.

I get it. So it’s my fault?

I didn’t say it was your fault, Ron.

Did the cream not work?

[Vivienne] The cream did nothing.

Because you really gotta slather it.

Ron, we slathered it, and we did the Advil.

Oh, my God. I am so sorry.

Mom, you just totally ran a red light.

Oh, fuck. Sorry.

You’re gonna get a ticket.

Vivi, you’re going to be okay, you hear me?

[Vivienne] You think?

I know.

Dad, am I gonna be okay?

You are. You’re gonna be great.

You too, Lois. You’re my hero.

[Lois] We’re turning in now, Ron.

We’ll call you from the doctor’s.

Dad, I think I might love Mom more.

I love you all so much.

Can you hear me, Lois?

Yes, I can hear you, you’re on speaker.

It kills me that I’m not there with you.

[Lois] You’re breaking up, Ron. Hell…

You’re all my babies.

I love… Baby?

Mom, I told you to valet.

[line disconnects]

[melancholy music playing]

[Carter] Dear Jay.

[Jessica] Dear Jay. You say…

You say you always want to be with me.

[Jessica] But your actions aren’t speaking the way your words are. My worst day was when my babysitter rented that movie you did with Daphne Spender.

[director] And cut.

[light switches click]

[bell rings]

[background chatter]

[man] Check…

Yeah, check the switches.

Sorry, I feel we should’ve got to know each other a bit before we did this.

Sometimes it’s better to have sex with someone before you know them.

Or pretend sex. In this case.

[young Jay] Have you had pretend sex with a lot of people before you knew them?

A few. It’s the least sexy thing ever.

[chuckles] It’s so embarrassing.

That hush that descends.

Oh, yeah.

It’s like we doing something incredibly serious and important.

Well, it’s more like a funeral than a love scene.

[Daphne] I know.

[bell rings]

[director] Okay.

We’re rolling.

Forty six, take eight.

[slate clicks]

[director, softly]

And I’ll just talk you through it.

So, Jay, can you kiss her?

And kiss the neck.

Then the shoulder.

Daphne, run your hands through his hair.

[small fart]

[whispers] I’m sorry.

Did you just fart?

[giggles] Yes!

[young Jay chuckles]

[Daphne] I’m so sorry.

It’s okay. It’s fine.

So… sorry.

[giggling] Okay, still rolling.

[both inhale] Okay.

[director] Neck…

Hair…

Shoulder…

Okay. Cue Eli.

[Daphne] Are you asking to be tickled?

No.

He is. Get him!

Asking to be tickly!

And cut. Good.

[assistant] Okay, Eli.

Time to go back to school.

Can we go again?

[director] Really?

Maybe I had an idea.

I thought we were great.

You did?

[director] Jay wants to go again.

Can we beg the tutor?

[assistant] Yeah.

[background chatter]

Ooh.

[young Jay] Yeah?

Very good.

I’m not gonna let you win.

I’m very competitive.

I wonder if you remember this the way I do.

[tender music playing]

[young Jay] I’m cutting high here.

There you go.

I was still married, just had Jessica.

We stayed on the set that day, played cards with the kid.

Daphne, you’re cheating.

I’m not.

If you hold your cards splayed out like that, how can I not look?

[Jay] He was our decoy.

It was okay to be together as long as he was there.

Hanging out like a… pretend family.

[music continues]

[crew chattering]

We didn’t even kiss for real until the very end of the shoot.

Later, you told me that… that you wouldn’t fall in love with me.

Maybe you were telling the truth, maybe you never did.

A month later…

Jessica’s mom moved her to Seattle.

I saw less and less of her.

You quit movies and said that you loved acting, but you didn’t want to be famous.

[actors inaudible]

Man, life is so weird.

I wonder if you think about it like I do.

Anyway…

There were a million reasons why we didn’t stay together and…

[bell rings]

[director] We’re going again.

And… action.

[Daphne] I’m so in love with you.

[music draws to a close]

Italy. What is its fatal charm?

I believe it is a certain permission to be human.

Which other places lost too long ago.

[life coach] I had a dream about you.

I loved you in the dream just as much as I do in real life…

[Clive] Really? All right?

I had a dream I had a window in my chest, right?

But the view was the view from our bathroom…

[poignant music playing]

I’m suddenly remembering things I haven’t thought about in a long time.

My family’s losing it at home.

Like a movie where I’m playing myself.

Watching myself…

I’m sorry, go again.

I didn’t hear a word you said.

I said I’m suddenly remembering things.

Now, what is that?

Memory?

Well, yes.

Maybe your memory’s trying to tell you something about your present.

Like what?

I don’t know. I’m tired.

I just had a fight with Daisy.

I wish I was there to help them.

What?

What? Nothing.

Ah.

I’m just… tired…

I just wish I would have spent more time with her, I was always at work.

Well, I always negotiated flights on the weekends for you to go home and see the kids.

It was very difficult to…

What are you getting at?

I’m just saying, Ben, for instance, flies home every weekend from the show to see his family.

Ben? Ben Alcock?

I’m not comparing.

It’s hard not to feel like you are.

These are the decisions we make like I made to come on this trip.

These aren’t just decisions.

Or not kiss Liz back.

My family would rather…

Kiss Liz back?

…I’m home right now.

Did you kiss Liz?

No, she kissed me.

Where is Liz?

Liz left. Krista, too.

Her dog ate a screw.

Krista’s dog, not Liz’s.

Liz was just pissed.

She left you this note.

Krista, not Liz.

Liz leave leave, like forever?

What is forever? I don’t…

Does Ben Alcock really fly home on the weekends?

Ben’s no saint.

This was his second marriage.

She was the nanny.

You don’t have to put him down.

Were you ever gonna let me know what happened with Timothy?

I told you I would.

Yeah, but you didn’t.

Think maybe you can get me a water?

Can’t you get it?

[footsteps clumbering]

Stop! Thief!

He’s got my handbag.

No. No… no.

[general clamor]

[passenger] Whoa!

[passengers shouting]

[brakes screeching]

[hydraulics hiss]

[panting]

[gasping]

[Silvano] Oh! Fuck!

Whoa! Whoa! Silvano! I’m-I’m going.

[Silvano] Oh. Oh.

[both panting]

He really is a hero.

[dramatic orchestral music playing]

[grunting]

I wanna go out there.

God, I love your attitude.

[people chattering]

I’ve got five.

Go!

That is so not fair.

[pop music blaring]

This is unbelievable.

[music resumes]

[panting]

[panting]

[grunts]

[music halts]

Oh!

Oof.

[Jay grunts, strains]

[grunts]

I got you, you son of a bitch!

[woman] You should’ve gone ahead, Clive.

[Jay shouts out]

[cheering]

[Clive] Jay captured the thief!

[man] Hey, bravo!

Shit was real.

There we go.

Thanks, love!

And he gave him a black eye, the bastard.

A real shiner.

[old woman] Oh.

[man] Bravo, bravo!

[Jay gasps] Okay, all right.

Mwah!

[man] Bravo.

[old woman] Such a gentleman.

Stop looking at me and talking about me all the time.

[cyclist] Please be kind, he just needs his medication.

He’s a nice guy, a real family man.

He has three wonderful kids.

This is not who he is.

[sobs]

You’re a hero, puppy.

Okay?

[sniffs]

Come on.

Will you just… get him to a doctor.

I’ll get you that water.

I’ll be there in a minute.

[Ron, softly]

“And the little tiny, tiny fur animal “ran down a hole into the ground.” You see?

[David] A little cute bear putting on its coat.

[Ron] Mmhmm.

“Then sun went down beyond the river…”

[brakes screech]

[hydraulics hiss]

[indistinct police radio chatter]

I’ll take care of your bike, okay?

[passengers chattering]

[Guigui] Daisy, can you please tell them?

[friends chattering]

[Jay] Daisy.

Daisy?

[Guigui]

Can you tell her that it’s true?

[French girl] What is true?

[Guigui] Like the horse can win without…

Have fun.

[engine starts]

See you, Dad. Love you.

Love you, too.

[engine revs]

[Ron] It’s right to let her go.

So, I spoke to Alan, he’s got a legal letter ready.

I signed off on it. We also have to have a statement prepared in case T-Timothy goes to the press.

I got a draft here, I need you to read it, be okay with it.

These are yours.

I know you know what to say.

Whatever happens, happens.

Daisy’s my friend, too, and I betrayed her.

You were just doing your job.

That’s a Nazi excuse.

I feel like such a bad person.

It’s my fault, Meg. Listen… take a break, go on a holiday in Italy.

I’ll be fine. Is it…? Uh…

Ron, do you have any…? Um…

Thank you, Jay.

For the record, I’d love it if my father chased me across Europe.

Oh, and Emmanuel Macron is taking Candy to Geneva, so you need another hair person.

I love you and congratulations.

[in Italian accent] Mr. Kelly! Sorry.

Mr. Caterpillar. Hi.

Hi, I’m Alba, your driver.

Your daddy is waiting for you at the restaurant with Antonio and host committee.

My “daddy”?

Yeah.

Your daddy. I called him and sent a plane. He’s very excited.

Shit. I didn’t think he’d actually come.

[sighs]

I will bring you to your daddy.

[chuckles]

Is this everyone?

Mmm.

Yeah? Okay.

[Ron] Can you take maybe one bag?

You take it.

[Ron] What?

Take it.

[Ron] Jesus Christ.

Ah, I forgot to give you, Mr. Kelly.

Mr. Caterpillar, your cheesecake.

Wonderful. Thank you.

My rider. You eat it.

[Alba] Here in Italy, we like to work hard.

But also, when we finish our work, we relax and we like to eat.

We cry sometimes, but also, if you are funny, we might laugh.

Sometimes we get married…

Don’t get mad at Candy.

We’ll find you a new hair person.

I have too many people around me anyway.

You need some people, right?

We argue sometimes. But also…

Maybe an accountant.

A lawyer. You need Alan.

Who else? Publicity, chef.

Or me. You need me.

Yeah, Ron. I need you.

[Alba chatters, indistinct]

[thud]

Fuck. I think I just hit a rabbit.

Alba, is there someplace we can get a gift or something for my dad?

Yeah, yeah.

Can you drop me at Ristorante da Rosa, please?

Where you goin’?

Uh, I have a 5 p.m.

Just a quick drink in town.

I’ll be back for your dinner.

Save me a tiramisu.

Who do you have a 5 p.m. with?

Uh, Ben Alcock. I just…

I gotta put a little time in with him.

‘Cause he’s also getting a tribute?

The second tribute, yes.

So you’re gonna just leave me alone with my “daddy.”

I’m here for you. I’m always here.

And I’ll be with you from 7 for the rest of the trip.

I don’t care. Meet Ben Alcock.

What’s in his rider?

Actually, Ben’s rider is quite minimal.

Fuck off.

[scoffs]

Ciao, Signore Ron.

Thank you, Alba.

Try to have some fun.

Say hi to your dad for me.

[bell tolls]

[Alba] You might meet a ghost while you sleep here.

The ghosts are usually little monks who expose themselves.

I would have thought they would love to meet Jay Kelly.

So, I stopped pumping iron, and I took up yoga.

And now I’m in the best shape of my life!

Still slender, but taut.

Also keep the mental game tough.

Do a little sudoku.

[all] Ah.

[Jay] Hey.

My son, the movie star.

Hey, Studly.

Oh.

[both chuckle] Studly made it.

Ah.

Uh, meet Captain Jenny and Lourdes.

They flew me in on that tiny plane you got me.

Lady pilot.

Your father entertained us all the way from Maine to Florence with his wonderful, often offensive stories.

What a personality.

Jay, the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree.

Well…

Now, where is this famous Ron?

We expected the whole team.

Yes. We thought Mr. Caterpillar would have rolled very deep.

No, the famous Ron had a 5 p.m.

Ron is very protective of you.

He was so worried about the size and the shape of your trophy.

I’m sure I’ll love it.

A local artisan, Giovanni, did what I think you Americans call an all-nighter, and blew it himself.

[speaking in Italian]

Giovanni regrets the mask.

He suffers from infinite COVID.

Jay Kelly. Your cheesecake is waiting.

[continues in Italian]

Jesus Christ.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

[Ron] I’m the best friend anybody has, but you don’t want me as an enemy.

I promise you that.

Because what you’re saying…

Would… I… Let me talk!

Because what you’re saying sounds remarkably like a shakedown.

I’m happy to be wrong, but if that’s what we’re doing, I’m hanging up the telephone right now.

You do that.

Speak to Timothy, then call me back.

[man greets in Italian]

Alan, are you there? That motherfucker was trying to shake us down.

It’s dead.

Did we hear from the detective?

Like the neckerchief.

All right. Hold your fire.

I got a drink now with Benny boy.

Yeah. Yeah. Let me know.

I’ll call you after.

Yeah. Ciao. It’s hot as hell. Jesus.

What happened? What’d you say?

Uh, I-I like the neckerchief.

Yeah? Yeah. Right. Ahh.

You look handsome, Ben Alcock with the dreamy blue eyes.

[both chuckle]

Flight good?

It was a two-class plane, small first.

But lie-down beds, so…

Happy ending.

Yeah.

Did you order a drink?

Uh, I’m just having seltzer.

Aww. Well…

You just fly in?

Train. It was a whole…

But, um, it’s fine. We’re all good.

I just sent Jay to a dinner with the festival people.

Jay got a dinner?

You got a dinner too.

My schedule said “drinks.”

You don’t wanna be at that dinner.

You brought your family.

You’re a proper human.

Jay is single and weird and needs to be entertained.

You don’t have to put Jay down to make me feel better.

You do that, Ron. You know that?

I love Jay. Been like a father to Jay.

But much less complicated because I’m like a brother.

I could use a drink!

So, I-I’ve been thinking, and, uh, talking to Melanie.

And… And I feel like I’m not really getting enough of you.

Really? I’m here now, puppy.

What haven’t I been there for?

I know you’re in the Jay Kelly business, and I can’t compete with him.

I’m okay with that. [chuckles] I mean, I know the only reason I’m getting this tribute is because he passed on it.

And then took it back.

I’m sorry that got all farkakte. But don’t worry.

You’re both getting trophies.

But I need to get some of you.

Okay. Jay is one of my clients, but he’s not my only client.

How can I improve?

I’m gonna go without a manager for a while. [voice shaking] Hold on.

Just an attorney and an agent.

And a publicist.

All right.

Uh, and a business manager.

You’re my second oldest client ever.

We’ve been together since the Disney shows.

I… I know.

I’m having problems at home.

Vivienne has anxiety and swollen feet.

I’m sorry to hear that.

You’re just coming off a successful television show.

That correction takes a minute.

It’s been a minute already.

You’re in-between ages, but I really feel like you’re entering a sweet spot.

I-I just need to try this.

I was at your wedding. I gave you a toast!

I know! I know!

We’re family. I love you!

Stop. Stop! Stop.

I knew it would be hard to do this.

[inhales]

I was gonna send an email after the tribute, but Melanie said I should do it in person.

I didn’t have to.

There are things I do all day long that you don’t know about.

No, don’t… don’t try to talk me out of it.

[sobs] No, don’t cry.

You’re crying, puppy.

No, I know.

But it doesn’t mean you have to cry.

Okay, you cry, puppy.

You were crying first.

[clatters]

I’m sorry. I’m just… [sighs] I’m just jetlagged and I’m tired and I’m old.

[somber piano music playing]

[exhales]

[drumming]

[Lois] She’s okay. Fenner says that she’s picking up on your stress, and it’s affecting her feet.

How the fuck is my stress affecting Vivienne’s feet?

Relax, Ronnie.

It makes sense if you think about it. You’re gonna let a foot doctor analyze our child? What is wrong with you?

Don’t speak to me like that.

I am single-parenting it here.

And we all have David’s cold.

I’m sorry. I love you.

It’s just… I’m havin’ a bad day.

Are you okay?

No. I was just fired, and I’m cryin’.

I’m alone in Italy, and I’m cryin’.

[cries]

I know you’re mad at me.

Can I just hear “I love you” back?

[drumming over phone]

Jay fired you?

No. Ben.

[Vivienne] Jay fired Dad?

No, Ben. Go back inside.

That motherfucker.

And you got him this tribute and everything.

I know. You still have Jay, right?

Yes, yes, I still have Jay.

If I ever get him back to do this movie.

[bells tolling] Can you just say it, please?

What is that sound?

[bells tolling]

The bells. It’s all death and… firing here!

Ron, I just saw the thing on Page Six about Jay.

Wait. What… What thing?

What thing about Jay?

[bells tolling] Lois?

So why am I here, Studly?

Who dropped out?

Nobody. I invited you.

Oh?

Yes.

First time in years Studly’s brought me to a rat fuck.

He got threatened when I showed up at the Globes in the ’90s.

That’s not true.

Jay’s dad was his most handsome back then.

Susan Sarandon had a little crush on me.

[all coo]

Well, I’m glad you’re here.

She even sent me a video of a baby elephant reuniting with his parents.

And were they happy to see him?

That was the point.

Very cute. Very tender.

What’s this for?

For nothin’. It’s a present.

Well…

It’s a sweater!

[Alba chuckles]

Nice.

Nice.

It is a sweater. Cashmere, no less.

You have it.

Too high a thread count for your dad.

No, I got it for you.

Take the sweater.

Where’s my granddaughter?

Ron said she’d be here.

She’s doin’ her own thing.

She’s at that age.

You remember bein’ 18.

I remember Brylcreem.

“A little dab’ll do ya.” Huh?

[guests chuckle]

Mr. Kelly padre? Hmm?

Are you also an artist, like your son?

Artist? No.

Working stiff.

Worked for the John Deere corporation for the past 35 years.

Retired, and all those assholes gave me was a shitty pension and a fountain pen.

No trophy or cheesecake for your dad.

You toiled so your son could have his dreams.

I like that. I like how you put that.

Yeah, when he was a boy, I thought he’d grow up to be somebody that I’d like to have a beer with.

Not, uh, Beaujolais.

Yeah, I played tough guys so I didn’t have to be one.

Action movies are bullshit. It’s all fake.

Ah.

Did you always know Jay was going to be a star?

Well, he barely said a word till he was about five.

Then one morning, he gets up, and he comes down to breakfast, and he starts talking in this funny southern way.

[phone dings]

And he’s acting very clumsy.

[scattered chuckling]

His mom thought he’d lost his mind, but I said, “Celia, no, no. Don’t worry.

He’s just playing a character.”

I was impersonating my Uncle Mark.

Right. He kept saying, “Seriously.”

Which was Uncle Mark to a fuckin’ tee.

[Alba laughs] “You’re a good kid. Seriously.”

As if he didn’t mean it otherwise.

[Jay’s dad] Oh, God. I broke up.

I’ve never seen you laugh so hard.

Mom either.

She was always so sad when she drank.

Where is Uncle Mark?

In jail for mail fraud.

“Seriously?”

Seriously.

[laughter]

That’s a…

[quiet exhale]

[laughing stops]

We are sorry to gawp, but you are all over the internet right now.

[Antonio] There is a video.

On your phone?

On all of our phones.

A dramatic altercation.

With another man.

[birds chirping in distance]

“Actor Jay Kelly becomes real life hero as he apprehends criminal in dramatic fashion, worthy of the cinema.”

[laughter]

Look at you, running in your fancy moccasins. Run, Jay! Run!

“There was no ‘action’ or ‘cut’ as Jay Kelly leaped from the train.”

I deplore violence. Haven’t we evolved beyond hitting and kicking?

But he had to defend himself.

It says here the man was a crazed thief, a lunatic in Spandex.

He wasn’t a lunatic. He was…

It was perhaps a sexual threat.

No!

No. No. It wasn’t.

You finally manage to get your trousers dirty, Studly?

It is now time to take our real, live hero to the real, live party.

[Jay’s dad chuckles]

[scattered applause]

[Jay’s dad] You know what this countryside reminds me of?

Bakersfield, California. Beautiful place.

But everybody’s out of work there. So sad.

I used to do a lot of business in Bakersfield.

[dance music thumping, muffled]

[melancholy orchestral score]

[orchestral score swells]

Fuck me.

[Ron] There he is.

[music volume normalizes]

He’s here.

[guests chattering]

Jay Kelly, so handsome!

With the square-cut Superman jaw.

Where were you?

We said we’d meet at the party.

No, we said we’d meet at the dinner and go to the party.

You said you’d go to the dinner, and I’ll go to the party.

You said, “Save me a tiramisu.”

How was the tiramisu?

It was cheesecake.

Did you see the video?

Oh. Our friends on the train filmed it.

Great result. Congratulations.

Calling me a hero. So embarrassing.

You are a hero, puppy.

If it was the other story, I’d be the villain, not the hero.

Listen, listen. Come here.

I want you to hear this.

Where are you goin’?

Come here.

[phone rings] Hello.

Alan, you got Ron and Jay.

Sorry for the tribute noise.

Tell Jay the news.

[Alan] It’s been taken care of, Jay.

What has?

Timothy, the lawsuit, the nose. Everything.

It’s all done.

We discovered a pending drug charge from the ’90s that would destroy his business.

It’s done?

It’s gone away. You’re free, Jay.

[Alba] You are too young to be his daddy.

Why, thank you.

[Alba chuckles] And you’re too young to be young.

[kisses loudly]

[dance music continues]

I want to apologize.

To who, Timothy?

[Alan] That can’t happen, Jay.

He’s my friend.

[Alan] Not anymore. My counsel is to let it go.

Yeah?

Yeah. It’s settled.

You won’t hear from him again.

Enjoy your tribute, Jay. You’ve earned it.

I want whiskey and spaghetti bolognese!

[Alba] Then we will eat spaghetti alla bolognese.

Thanks, Alan.

[Alan] Don’t thank me. It was all Ron. He really went to war for you.

[dance music continues]

Thanks, Alan.

You all can make up stories, but you and I know who I am.

You know who I am, Ron?

Who am I?

Look at you. You’re the American dream.

You’re the last of the old movie stars…

I’m down here.

You’re up there, you’re down here.

You’re in here. It’s amazing.

We’ve accomplished so much together.

Everything you say makes it worse.

You can stop running now, puppy.

It’s time to go back to work.

I’m going dancing.

Oh! The famous Ron. Later? Later.

You start shooting on Monday, and I gave them my word you would be there.

Give my part to Ben Alcock.

Hey. Come here. Come here.

Do you know what I had to go through to get you that job?

I mean, you’re you.

But I was the one who went to the Louis Brothers’ tequila bar in Bushwick and smoked crack.

It wasn’t crack.

I don’t know what it was, but I smoked it, and for three hours, I was afraid I was going to swallow my tongue.

Anyways, it got you the job.

They offered me the job.

The part was written for a 35yearold man.

It took some convincing.

And I’d do it again, because I think what you do is magic.

I’m just an actor, Ron.

An actor that got famous.

Does none of this mean anything to you?

‘Cause it means something to me.

Give my tribute to Ben. I’m goin’ dancing.

I don’t understand.

I think I’ve been a good partner, a good friend. I loved you.

I love you too, Ronnie.

But are we friends?

Of course we are.

Then be a friend to me.

And let’s go back to work.

I mean, you’re Jay Kelly.

But I’m Jay Kelly too.

We did this together.

You actually said that to me one time.

You forgot.

[patting chest]

I’m dancing.

When you fuck yourself, you’re fucking me, you understand?

[Jay] I’m dancing.

[dance music continues]

You don’t know how to be a friend!

You’re my friend who takes 15% of my income.

If you’re not on that plane tomorrow…

I’m dancing.

I wish… I wish you were the man I thought you were.

[“Rumore” by Andrea Lo Vecchio starts]

I’m a cocker spaniel dancing in the Serengeti.

[crowd cheering]

[guests chattering]

[“Rumore” continues]

[crowd] Whoo!

[“Rumore” continues]

[drum beat speeds up]

[women laughing]

[singing in Italian]

[music slows, vocals distort]

[Alba, echoing] Jay!

Jay!

Jay!

Alba, you’re an angel.

Jay.

Dance with me.

Come. Your daddy is sick.

He is in the restaurant. Come on.

[speaking Italian]

I think he drunk too much.

He was eating spaghetti and doing yoga, and he lost his balance.

Where is he?

In the kitchen with the doctor.

Dad?

[exhales]

Hey.

You doing okay there, Studly?

Heh. I lost my balance.

Is that blood?

No. That’s the bolognese.

[speaks Italian]

He’s fine.

[speaks Italian]

And too much wine.

Uh-huh.

[speaks Italian]

He needs to rest.

[speaks Italian]

[replies in Italian]

[doctor speaks Italian]

[replies in Italian]

[Alba speaks Italian]

Hey.

It’s so bright in here.

Can I do anything?

I… I wish I’d seen Daisy.

Yeah.

You remember being 18.

You asked me that already.

I said I remember Brylcreem.

Right. Sorry.

[Jay’s dad exhales]

I want to go home now.

Just get some sleep.

No, I want to leave now.

Stay. See Italy.

I’ve seen it.

Audrey booked me on the 8 a.m. flight from Pisa.

Are you pissed at me?

No.

I really want you to have a good time.

I want you to stay till tomorrow.

We never get a chance to spend time together.

[door opens]

[inhales]

The taxi is here.

Y…

Stay for my tribute.

Come on, Dad. Please stay.

Where’s my bag?

[Alba] It’s in the taxi.

[Alba, softly] It was nice to meet you.

[Jay] Hey.

[Jay’s dad] Bye, Alba.

Ciao.

Hey.

Thanks for the party, Studly.

Dad. Come on.

Hey. Wait.

Hey, Dad. Dad!

Dad!

[Jay, distantly] Come on!

[plaintive music playing]

[music fades]

[panting]

[gasps]

[vehicles rumbling]

[eerie music playing]

[brakes screech]

[cars whoosh]

[brakes squeal]

[door opens]

Is that Jay Kelly? [laughs]

[Jay] Hey.

You okay, man?

Yeah. Hey. Hi.

Ah. Proud to be sharing a tribute with you, amigo. Thanks, Ben.

[woman] Hey.

You know my wife, Melanie.

Yeah.

My daughters, Seraphina, Lily and Bridget, my sons, Cassian and Cole…

You got Arlo over there, the newest addition to the clan.

We got Nana and Nono, Terry and Ernie, brother-in-law, Spike.

[Spike] Big fan.

My assistant, Pam.

Sorry about the clown cars.

Sorry I don’t have anybody to introduce you to.

Hey, only in Italy would they give two middle-aged white men an award.

I mean, seriously, at this moment?

I guess we got Ron to thank for that, huh?

Yeah, this is awkward, but I parted ways with Ron.

When?

A few hours ago.

I feel terrible. I mean, I love the guy, but I just felt like I was being looked after by someone who needs looking after.

I mean, every time it’s his kids and inflamed feet or Lois and whatever that is.

God bless him, but I need someone younger, someone hungrier.

Or older and more powerful.

Right.

You were also getting into all that psycho dynamic stuff with him.

Yeah, yeah.

He’s too much like my father.

[Melanie] Or he wants to be.

Yeah.

I have to keep saying to myself.

They are not our family.

[Melanie] Or your friend.

No!

We give these guys 15% of everything, then they want to be treated like our friend.

Friends do not take 15%.

No.

Huh.

Oh. We heard about your act of bravery.

Yeah! Nicely done, amigo. Ah, yeah.

Jay Kelly for President!

[both laughing]

No, I mean, seriously.

Would you ever run?

No, it’s just…

I, uh…

Can you excuse me for a minute?

Uh, actually, we need a few extra tickets for the fam, if you have any to spare.

I can spare all of ’em, Ben.

Thanks, brother. I owe you.

Maybe just leave me one.

[Ben] Yeah, sure.

[family members chatter faintly]

[Ben] Saddle up! Let’s go!

[cars drive away]

[bird hoots]

[hooting]

[phone line rings]

[Jessica] Hello?

Hey, Jess, it’s Dad.

Hi. Hey, uh, is this a good time to talk?

What’s up?

Well, I’m in Italy. [chuckles]

I read about your reallife heroics.

Ah, it’s a news story. It’s not true.

Yeah, well, you fooled them again.

Yeah.

So why are you calling?

Well, listen.

I’m feelin’ bad about the last time we were together.

Sorry about that.

I just couldn’t take that guy.

Are you still seeing him?

Yes.

Well, I wanna hear you out, so… if that’s what you need to happen, and…

Uh-huh.

Listen, I have this tribute here in Tuscany. I’d love for you to come.

Since when do you care about a tribute?

Well…

Good question. I…

I did make those movies.

So you think that if I go and I celebrate your career, that your brilliance is gonna make me forgive you?

No. No.

Maybe yes, Jay.

Well… Maybe yes.

It’s 35 years of my life.

I’m 34.

I just want you to come with me.

To see what I did.

To be there to celebrate.

It’s got to have meant something.

What if it didn’t?

I could’ve been a very good dad to you, Jess.

I wanted to, you know.

It’s just things with your mother and distance, and I didn’t execute it the way I planned it.

That’s just…

Just be honest with me, Jay.

[voice breaking] Stop rationalizing and trying to defend yourself.

Just stop.

I was young.

And I wanted something very badly, and I was afraid that if I took my eye off of it, I couldn’t have it.

And I was right.

There was no other way to do it.

[Jessica sniffles]

And it meant choosing… it over you.

But it was supposed to be temporary.

Just… until I had what I wanted. And…

But then I had to keep it.

My ten-year-old self is giving you the finger.

What about you now?

You don’t have to worry about me, Dad.

I’m okay. I love what I do.

I have friends.

I’m gonna have a good life, just not with you.

And you’re okay too, you know?

You’re…

You’re a good movie star, you know?

You make a lot of people happy.

[sorrowful piano music playing]

I think I’m gonna quit acting.

I need you to sign a photo for Theo’s teacher. She’s a big fan.

What? Oh.

Okay. Jess, it’d mean so much to me…

For Helen.

What?

That’s her name. Helen.

Okay. Helen.

I’m sorry, Dad.

Please, Jess…

Theo’s calling, and I hope you have a good tribute.

[on phone] Goodbye, Jay.

Jess!

[piano music grows louder]

[soft strings join with the piano]

[strings swell and then fade]

[gasps]

[solo piano continues]

[…then fades]

[birds tweeting]

[suitcase rolling]

[approaching voices, speaking Italian]

Oh! The famous Ron!

Have you seen Jay Kelly?

[Ron] Not since last night.

[woman exclaims in Italian] See you later.

The tribute is at 5. Precise!

[Ron] Grazie. Ron! Hey! Ron.

Hey.

[driver speaking Italian]

[driver continues in Italian]

Pull over. Stop, stop, stop.

Okay.

[speaks Italian]

[Jay panting]

Are you okay?

[panting heavily]

Take a second.

It’s okay.

[Jay continues panting]

Look, I’m sorry about… [panting] I’m sorry.

Um…

I appreciate it.

But you got me thinking.

I was up all last night, talkin’ to Lois.

And I think you have it right.

There comes a point when you have to reassess.

I love you. I really do.

And I appreciate the apology.

But I…

I can’t work with you anymore.

It’s not good for me.

The Italians are lookin’ for you.

You have a tribute starting in a couple of hours.

I gotta make a plane, but try and go, okay?

I mean, you came all this way.

Hey, Ron?

Come to the tribute with me.

As my friend.

I mean… we did this together.

You’re the one I want there most of all.

I’m the only one who is here.

[somber music playing]

[somber music continues]

[somber music continues]

[somber music continues]

[somber music continues]

[phone chimes]

[firework sound effects popping]

[firework sound effects popping]

[somber music continues]

[metallic ringing]

[indistinct chatter]

[metallic ringing]

[overlapping chatter]

Look at this here.

They came.

That’s great.

[exhales]

[chatter silences]

WINNER OF THE STRAWBERRY TREE AWARD JAY KELLY

[orchestral music playing]

Well, hello.

[orchestral music continues]

Who the hell is this? Here we go. I prefer to think of myself as a family man, and that’s what we all are here, whether we like it or not. We are a family. That doesn’t matter now, ’cause you got about two fuckin’ seconds to live! Now you really didn’t think I was gonna sit this one out, did ya? The way this works is, you do the thing you’re scared shitless of, and you get the courage after you do it. I won’t let you down, sir.

[orchestral music continues]

So what’s it gonna be? Yes or no answer. That’s what I call a fucking show! I stand before you… naked.

[soft piano music playing]

[soft piano music continues]

[soft piano music continues]

[music slows and fades to soft strings]

[girls giggling]

[Jess] Dad, it’s not over yet.

It’s The…

[Jess and Daisy]

Kelly and Kelly Show!

Starring Kelly!

And Kelly! And now it’s time for Daisy Genevieve Kelly’s famous front roll!

[giggling]

[Daisy] Dad! It’s not over!

[Jess] And Jessica…

Hilary Kelly will do her more famous cartwheel.

[grunts and giggles]

[Jess] And now for some magic.

Dad! It’s not over.

[girls laughing]

What do we do now?

Kelly!

[Jess] And now…

Wait, Dad! You’re missing it!

For Daisy’s…

Dad, you’re gonna miss it!

Now, for Daisy’s Hollywood-renowned Charleston.

[girls laughing]

[piano resumes]

[girls laughing]

Okay, there we are.

And Jessica’s California-renowned tap.

Kelly! [laughs] Sorry.

Kelly and Kelly!

No, it’s Kelly and Kelly.

No, it’s Kelly and Kelly.

No, it’s Kelly and Kelly. No, it’s Kelly and Kelly.

It’s Kelly and Kelly. Watch the telly, smelly Kelly.

[soft piano and string music continues]

[applause]

Can I go again?

[applause fades]

I’d like another one.

[orchestral music continues]

[orchestral music playing]

[orchestral music continues]

[soft piano music continues]

[soft piano music playing]

[upbeat orchestral music playing]

[upbeat orchestral music continues]

[soft orchestral music playing]

[orchestral music swells]

[sweeping orchestral music playing]

[sweeping orchestral music continues]

[orchestral music swells]

[orchestral music stops]