If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025)
Director: Mary Bronstein
Writer: Mary Bronstein
Stars: Rose Byrne, Conan O’Brien, Danielle Macdonald, Christian Slater, A$AP Rocky
Release dates: January 24, 2025 (Sundance); October 10, 2025 (United States)
Plot: Linda is a therapist stretched to her limits while caring for her daughter, who is suffering from an eating disorder. The daughter, whose face is never shown, must be fed through a tube each night, and her demands add to Linda’s immense stress. The family’s situation takes a turn for the worse when the bedroom ceiling of their Montauk apartment collapses and floods the house. With her largely absent husband Charles away on a two-month work trip, Linda is forced to move with her daughter into a shabby motel.
Charles only calls to complain and criticize her, offering no genuine support. Professionally, Linda is surrounded by clients in crisis, including Caroline, a new mother who abandons her baby mid-session. Linda seeks help from her own colleague therapist due to her own personal problems. However, he is increasingly exasperated by her behavior and eventually declines her as a patient after she repeatedly crosses professional boundaries. While living in the motel, Linda meets Diana, a snarky clerk, and her neighbor James, a motel superintendent who becomes an unlikely source of comfort and chaos. James helps her score drugs online and offers emotional support to her daughter, but their relationship is complicated and ultimately strained.
Caroline later appears at her home but then slaps Linda and runs away after being refused help. Later, when told that her daughter cannot make the necessary weight for her peg to be removed, Linda takes her daughter home and removes the peg and then hallucinates the surgical hole closing. When Linda heads back to her apartment, she discovers that Charles has suddenly returned home and repaired the hole in the ceiling. She attempts to hide the fact that she left their child alone, but James tells Charles the truth. When Charles sees that Linda removed the feeding tube, Linda runs to the ocean and attempts to drown herself. Linda wakes up with her daughter looking at her and says that she will get better.
* * *
If I Had Legs I’d Kick You (2025) | Transcript
GIRL: Mommy is… stretchable.
WOMAN: What do you mean by stretchable?
GIRL: Daddy’s hard.
You can’t move him.
He gets mad, and that’s it.
Mommy gets mad too, but she’s more like putty.
WOMAN: Mm.
(SCOFFS LIGHTLY) And she gets sad too.
That’s when it’s the most stretch.
WOMAN: Putty, um… I wonder how is it that you stretch her?
GIRL: You just…
Can I…
Can I talk now? Please?
WOMAN: Um…
Is it okay if Mommy talks?
Yep.
WOMAN: Okay.
I’m not stretchable.
I’m not putty.
WOMAN: Well, that’s her experience of you.
That isn’t true.
I try very hard to be in control of her and everything, but, um, may as well not even be there at all.
WOMAN: Well, perception is reality, so…
Also, I don’t get sad.
WOMAN: You seem sad right now.
GIRL: You do seem sad right now.
We’re here to talk about how to get you better.
All we do is talk about me.
I can be sad. I mean, I’m allowed to be sad, right?
WOMAN: Well, of course.
(CHUCKLES)
But, um, you must know that this is all tangled up together and you of all people should know…
I know. I know, but, um… this… this isn’t how things…
(VOICE SHAKING)
are gonna get better. Um…
GIRL (VOICE WAVERING):
Mommy, please don’t cry…
No, no. I… because then I’ll cry.
WOMAN: Sweetie.
She…
Sweetie, it’s okay. It’s okay.
(CLEARS THROAT)
We want the tube removed. Now.
GIRL: No, you can’t kill me!
And to do that, we need…
No, she won’t do what she has to do because she knows that she has this safety net.
WOMAN: Things are not stable enough right now to…
It’s clear that we have different goals.
You want her to get better before the tube can be removed.
I think the tube needs to come out, and then she can get better.
WOMAN: We all have the same goal here.
(DRY CHUCKLE)
WOMAN: But what I’m learning as we’re talking all together is that you and I need to spend some time, just the two of us, without her here… to talk about some serious issues.
(LOW, RUMBLING HUM)
(MUFFLED) I’m gonna need you to restart the tube feedings at night and I need you to start doing…
(VOICE FADES)
(RUMBLING BUILDS)
GIRL: Did you get the kind with no cheese?
I can’t explain this to you every time, sweetie.
They would just laugh at me and say it’s bread, okay?
I’ll take the cheese off when we get home, of course.
GIRL: Is it the kind with the little green and black things in the sauce?
It’s the same kind we always get.
That kind has the things in the sauce.
I can’t… I can’t eat it.
Like, can you scrape it off…
Do you even want the tube out or is it just me who wants it out?
You have to be…
(GIRL GASPS)
LINDA: Jesus.
(GIRL GIGGLING)
LINDA: Oh, poo.
Oh…
(GIRL GIGGLING) You got your wish. No cheese.
(LAUGHING) Did you will that to happen?
Yeah.
Are you some kind of witch or something?
(GIRL LAUGHING)
Hey, straight to the table.
Actually, no.
Wash hands first, and then straight to the table.
I don’t have to go to the bathroom though.
No one’s making you go to the bathroom.
I’m just asking you to wash your hands, please, like we always do.
GIRL: Is Daddy coming?
Where’s Daddy?
LINDA: Uh, he said maybe bedtime.
GIRL: When does he go again?
(CHEWING) He just got back, so… in a month?
GIRL: Mommy?
Yeah.
I did have to go to the bathroom.
LINDA: Okay.
GIRL: This might take a while.
LINDA: Okay.
(SIGHS)
(CHAIR DRAGGING)
(SIGHING)
GIRL (FAINTLY): Mommy?
(CHEWING) Yeah?
GIRL: The bathroom has water in it.
Okay, well, that’s good.
No, I mean on the floor.
Come quickly!
GIRL: Are you coming?
(WATER SPLASHING) Mommy!
Oh, my God. What?
Why didn’t you tell me as soon as you came in here?
I just noticed… because I had to go to the bathroom so bad.
(WHINING) I don’t like how it feels on my socks.
Where’s it coming from?
How deep is it?
Are we gonna die?
Is the house gonna fall on top of us?
Mommy?
Can you lift me up and carry me out?
LINDA: Yep, just stay there, okay? Hold on.
Mom, why are you leaving me?
Where are you going?
Just please stay on the toilet, okay?
No.
(WATER GUSHING)
GIRL: Can you please come…
(MUFFLED EXCLAMATION)
GIRL: Can you come now?
(MUFFLED) Oh, my…
(WATER POURING)
(GIRL CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
Oh… my fucking God.
Mommy!
Mommy, you’re not telling me what it is!
Mommy!
What’s going on?
What?
What’s happening, Mom?
Are we gonna die?
(LINE RINGING)
DAD: Hey. Hey, yeah.
We just got home, and you would not believe…
(SHRIEKING)
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
(YELPS)
(GIRL SCREAMING) No, no, no! Do not come here.
Do not come in here!
Right now, go, go, go!
Right now! Right now!
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
Go, go, go, go!
Go! Oh, my God!
(CONTINUES SHOUTING FAINTLY)
(SPLASHING FADES, GROWING MUFFLED)
(FADES TO LOW RUMBLE)
(LOW, CREAKING RUMBLE)
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
(CHILDREN SHOUTING FAINTLY)
LINDA: Nothing is familiar or real. Ever. Every time I feel this way I get further and further away from being in myself, and, like, I can never get back.
MAN: When you think about time, how do you see it?
LINDA: How do I see time? Um… Time is a series of things to get through. Each goal is a cliff. There’s nothing at the end of it, but then it comes, and there’s just another cliff.
GIRL: I’m so mad at you!
(SHRIEKS ANGRILY)
(RHYTHMIC BEEPING)
(SNORES LIGHTLY)
(GROANS)
(BEEPING CONTINUES)
(MACHINERY CLICKING)
(BEEPING STOPS)
(MACHINE WHIRS)
(CLICKING CONTINUES)
(BEEPING, WHIRRING CONTINUE OVER MONITOR)
(VEHICLE PASSING)
(GIRL MOANING SLEEPILY OVER MONITOR)
(“HOT FREAKS” BY GUIDED BY VOICES PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)
(MOANS LIGHTLY)
(GIRL MOANS FAINTLY)
(EXHALES)
(THUNDER RUMBLES FAINTLY)
(EXHALING)
(ASH SIZZLES) (GASPS) Oh, shit.
MAN: Yo, you know about holotropic breathing?
WOMAN: Mmmm.
MAN: Yo, this shit is lit.
Basically, you trick your brain into thinking it’s dead, and you see the fucking universe.
You know what I’m saying?
So you won’t feel paranoia and guilt if something’s wrong.
(SONG CONTINUES OVER SPEAKERS)
WOMAN: I’ve got a friend who does Reiki and shit like that.
MAN: Nah, see what I’m saying?
This is like hyperventilating.
When you die, they say you let off this chemical.
And when you’re dreaming, you let off the same chemical.
It’s sort of like that, you know?
You make your brain think it’s dead, but being braindead is still alive.
WOMAN: Holographic breath work?
Holotropic.
WOMAN: Tropic. Holotropic.
Is that real?
What?
The… the dead brain thing?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, shit.
I guess anything could be real.
I mean, anything could be bullshit too.
(CHUCKLING)
You know what I’m saying?
(LAUGHS WEAKLY)
But you know that feeling like when you’re not…
Yeah.
Oh, you’re making fun of me.
Miss, I don’t even know you.
Right.
Okay. Um, yes on these, but no on the wine.
Why?
The law prohibits me from selling you this wine right now.
But it isn’t even 2:00.
It’s 1:58.
Right, but…
By the time I ring these up, it will be past two.
Huh. Um…
I’ll just get the peanut butter cups.
You can put them on my room.
Will do.
(BEEPING, WHIRRING OVER MONITOR)
(LOCK BEEPS)
(SWITCHES OFF MONITOR)
(BEEPING CONTINUES FROM OTHER ROOM)
(WATER RUNNING)
LINDA: I can’t talk about this anymore.
I’m telling you. Please.
DAD: Hey, hey. Look, if that’s what Dr. Spring thinks is best, then we have to listen to Dr. Spring.
There is no “we” though.
It’s just me. I… I’m…
It’s not fair. I’m telling you.
Whoa! Fair? Listen, I’m working, all right? I’m dealing with a lot of assholes. You have no idea. And I cannot do anything about what’s going on there from here. We need to be a team.
You have to go there today and check in and let them know that this whole thing is not…
I know. I know.
The problem with that logic, though, is that I’m not a housewife.
I work too.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mommy, this hotel food is gross.
MAN: Good morning.
This is disgusting.
Wow.
You guys look just like twins.
Anybody ever tell you that?
Uh, no.
You’re the first person to notice and/or say that.
(CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) GIRL: Everyone says that.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Hey, cutie. Wanna see a trick?
GIRL: Yeah.
GIRL: Whoa. How’d you do that?
Mommy?
You should take it.
She’s never gonna eat it.
(PHONE CONTINUES BUZZING)
Okay.
GIRL: Am I gonna throw up now?
Yeah?
DAD: You hung up on me. Look, I know you have a lot on your plate, but she’s getting better, and the rest of it is totally temporary. The ceiling will get fixed, I promise. The sky is not falling.
None of this is your fault. I love you.
I’m sorry. I love you too.
What’s so bad about a hotel anyway? And while you’re there, take advantage of the pool. They got a pool, right? You always said you wish you had a pool, so now you have one. Why don’t you go? You can do some laps, lounge a little. Get a floatie. Kick back, get a couple of margarita…
Okay.
GIRL: Did you know that you can train hamsters to love you?
No.
You can train them to love you.
Well, I would love if you would finish your bacon.
That way I can tell everybody you got 100% on breakfast.
And once they love you, you can get them to do everything including tricks.
Let’s start with one bite.
LINDA AND GIRL: ♪ Ring, ding
Ringaringalingdang ♪
♪ Ringalingadingdangdo ♪
♪ Ring, ling
Ringalingadingdang… ♪
♪ Keeps him from lovin’ you ♪
(MIMICS DOG BARKING IN SONG)
(GIRL BARKS, LAUGHS)
(BOTH SINGING NONSENSE SYLLABLES)
GIRL: Is the parking guy gonna get mad again?
Doublepark! Doublepark!
Doublepark!
Okay.
(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
Gotta be fast. You know what happened last time.
(FAINT CHATTER)
You’ve missed the last few weeks of family sessions.
Yeah.
I told you what happened.
Our entire ceiling fell down, and with all that chaos, and we’re living out of the hotel…
So we need to schedule something as soon as possible to talk about her goals and the treatment process.
Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah.
Duh. (FORCED CHUCKLE) Yeah.
Mmhm.
Mmhm.
Oh, you meant now?
Okay. All right.
Um…
Well, uh, let me look at my schedule.
I should probably do that…
I know that you already know this, but you can’t start letting feelings of guilt and control about this illness and treatment affect you.
It’s no one’s fault.
That’s right.
That’s what I keep hearing.
Also, I really need you to start taking care of yourself.
Right. Yes.
No.
Put my oxygen mask on first.
Mmhm, mmhm.
I’m just gonna have to get blunt here.
So she needs to reach her weight goal in the next week.
If she does that, then we can put tube removal and discharge dates on the books but if she doesn’t do that, I’m gonna have to reassess the level of care because obviously something is not working here, and this is what I need to talk to you about.
When can we sit down properly?
Yeah, fine. Uh, September 7th.
It’s September 15th.
September 20.
I mean, September…
September 20.
(HORN BLARING)
MAN: Hey!
(HORN HONKING)
Hey! I told you not to do that, and the next time I will report you to the building.
You have no authority to report me.
You won’t be allowed in the lot.
I’ll have you towed!
Oh, sure! Call them!
I’m not in there long enough for them to even come!
(ATTENDANT SHOUTING)
Whatever!
Asshole.
LINDA: The apartment is a 30minute walk, but it might as well be on Mars.
And I just, I can’t…
Every time I go check, it looks worse, and I… I have no control.
THERAPIST: Have you tried discussing a compromise with your landlord?
Perhaps they could section off the room with the hole, then you could live freely in the rest of the apartment.
Live freely with asbestos and 100yearold dust and black mold spores?
(CHUCKLING) That’s your advice?
It’s not advice.
It’s a question to consider.
I should really show you this hole.
It’s an entire nightmare on my ceiling.
When does Charles return?
This is week three of eight.
I mean, you should know that.
Don’t you write things down?
It’s your job to remember the boring details of my fucking life.
We do have to stop now.
We are out of time.
I have another patient coming, so…
Wait, now?
What about the ten-minute warning?
Yeah, I just wasn’t paying attention.
You didn’t respond to the email that I sent you about my dream.
I don’t respond to my client’s dream emails.
Okay. So, if you don’t bring it up, then what is the point?
Okay. Uh, you got me.
I had a dream, and I need to talk about it today, and I didn’t get any time because you didn’t give me a warning.
We can discuss the dream you emailed next session.
Well, it’s actually a different dream.
Well, I don’t really…
About you.
Okay, quickly.
Okay.
I was in a hospital day room or a recreation room or something, and I knew my daughter was also in the hospital but… but far away, another part, and it didn’t look like the hospital she was in last year, though, when everything happened.
It was different. It was weird.
And I was waiting for Charles to come get me, so we could pick her up but instead, you were there, and you wanted to sit really close to me.
(CLEARS THROAT LIGHTLY)
And I was, like, inching away from you on the bench and you kept inching closer.
(SIGHS DEEPLY) And I got my phone out to text Charles ’cause I was nervous he’d come in and he’d see and then you tried to grab the phone and then you started to tickle me…
(CHUCKLING LIGHTLY)
to try to get me to drop it, and I was, like… (CHUCKLES) I was really enjoying it, but I was so scared that Charles would come in and he would see.
(CHUCKLING) (GROANS LIGHTLY) All right.
Okay?
All right. You got to tell me.
We’ll talk about it next time.
THERAPIST: Okay?
(GROANS) We won’t talk about it next time.
You know that.
There’s no thread.
There’s no thread at all.
(EXHALES LIGHTLY)
(MUFFLED PHONE BUZZING)
Yes? (CLEARS THROAT) What now?
MAN (IN ACCENT):
Hi, yes. So sorry. Have to leave. Stop work.
Uh, what?
Mother died. I have to leave.
Work is going to take longer. Uh, okay, uh, just…
(WHISPERING)
I’ll be one second.
Okay, what is the issue then?
Can you tell me?
This has been going on for so long.
Do I need to get a new contractor?
It spread. Uh, it’s full. It’s very full, you understand? Very full.
It spread?
Not easy to explain.
Not my language. ¡Yo hablo español! ExplÃcame en tu idiom a, ¡lo entenderé!
Sorry, but I don’t understand those words.
How long will you be grieving for your mother?
I don’t say. I don’t know.
I can’t say. Look, I need a date, okay?
It needs to be fixed.
Just give me a date. My husband and I will be returning to…
I’ll be back, one week.
Okay, well, fine.
I’m going to be going there and checking on what you have done so far, and I’m going to be taking pictures, and I…
(CALL CLICKS OFF)
(NOISELESS SCREAM)
Vete a la mierda, el cabrón.
(SETS DOWN PHONE)
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
I can see you now.
I’m really happy to hold this silent space for you but… as usual, I am curious as to what you might be thinking about.
Riley.
That’s all I can think about.
Tell me what’s going on.
Well, I…
I keep telling you, it’s…
It’s like I keep saying to his doctor, he…
He doesn’t smile. He…
He looks at me weirdly, and he’s just very uncomfortable all of the time, and… and no one will do anything about it.
You know what I would love and what I think would be extremely helpful is if you could come to a session without Riley.
I think it would be…
I know you think you can’t…
No, I can’t.
But I think if you got a sitter who you trusted, who you could…
Did you hear about that nanny in New York?
The mom came home from work, and the nanny had stabbed both of her kids to death in the bathtub.
That is real. That happened.
A situation like that is very, very, very unusual, okay?
Most people have caregivers who can trust that…
I can’t. (GROANS LIGHTLY) Well, I… I believe you can.
I just think you don’t want to or you’re afraid so let’s stick to some practical…
I need to protect him.
From something specific?
Because something very bad is happening.
(PHONE BUZZES)
I’m so… Can I just…
One second. I just have to…
This could be about my daughter.
I’m… I’m so sorry.
Um…
Yeah. Look, look, I…
I’m not Riley’s doctor so I can’t speak to what may or may not be going on with him.
We can only talk about your feelings about what you perceive is going on with Riley, which is why I do believe medication can be…
I’m not perceiving it.
It is happening.
And I feel awful about it.
Okay, listen.
When you’re having these feelings of deep panic at home with Riley, just put him in his crib or carrier or somewhere safe… and draw a bath.
Just breathe until your heart isn’t racing anymore, come out and get dressed, start the day over again… put on some real clothes.
These feelings that you’re experiencing they are… they’re very, very, very scary.
Okay? And very dark.
And that’s why you need to keep moving.
You need to keep going.
You need to be busy.
You can’t sit inside the fear and doubt and scariness.
Breathwork is a deep healing in the nervous system, where we hold trauma and trapped emotions. We can’t talk our way out of trauma. The body needs to process unprocessed emotions within the body. And this is why breath work is so powerful. If you’re looking for deeper ways of healing and you’re searching for alternatives, don’t wait any longer. Let’s connect and schedule your first breath work session.
REPORTER: Directly before the judge read Ortega her sentence, she begged for forgiveness for her unspeakable crime. She stated she was sorry for what the judge had called, “Pure evil.” She then spoke about how untreated mental illness…
(RAPID KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Fuck.
The judge was not convinced.
Shit.
She will be serving life in prison with no possibility of parole, saying that…
(STOPS VIDEO)
(CLEARS THROAT)
You would not believe what I have been through today.
Okay, so, I don’t know if you recall but there was this pair of absolutely davoonianca, davoon, gorge leather gloves that I saw on The Real-Real.
I wake up this morning, banned.
Banned. Yeah. I know.
CHARLES (OVER PHONE): Hey, my love! So you been keeping up and eating, and doing all the right things?
GIRL: Yeah, I ate some cheese today!
LINDA: Mmm.
CHARLES: Cheese! That’s fantastic.
I love cheese! Daddy, can I get a hamster?
No.
I already told you, you’re not getting a hamster.
No, no. You know what, let’s see, okay? Maybe when we get back to the apartment…
No, no, no, no, no.
She’s not getting a hamster.
Daddy, when are you coming home?
She’s not getting a hamster.
What, where are you?
I can hear something weird.
Oh. Yeah, that.
I’m catching a game. A game?
Yeah. Yeah, we got here this morning, and there’s a minor league team here on the island where we go.
It’s a little loud, so… Oh, it must be nice, huh, doing things for yourself.
What’s that like?
Hey, hey, hey. You wanna switch places? You don’t know what I’m dealing with here. All right, I’ll go sit on my ass…
GIRL: Daddy!
All day in therapy… I’m sorry. Haha. I mean, “sit on my butt” listening to people whine, and you can captain this fu… Uh… this stupid boat, okay? Listen, I’m allowed to do things on my time off. Jesus Christ!
Time off? Oh, okay, um…
Daddy has to go now, and, uh, we have to drive, so say goodbye to Daddy, okay?
No. I don’t have to go! Look, they’re in the middle…
Jesus.
I told you, it’s a rodent, and just something to look after for no reason.
Please, please don’t ask again, and don’t ask Daddy things I already say no to.
But Mommy, it’s not fair!
(MACHINE BEEPS, WHIRRING)
LINDA: Dr. Spring said this is a big week.
Did she tell you that?
GIRL: Yeah.
LINDA: I think you can do it.
GIRL: But I’m already doing it my best.
LINDA: I know, but you have to do a little better then we can get rid of this thing, and everything will be okay.
GIRL: I’ll be better.
Okay. Well… it’s not up to me.
It’s up to you.
What book can I read you tonight?
GIRL: I’m too tired.
Just a song.
LINDA: Okay, what song?
The dead whale one.
Okay.
♪ Sit beside
The breakfast table ♪
♪ Think about your troubles ♪
BOTH: ♪ Pour yourselves
A cup of tea ♪
♪ Think about the bubbles ♪
♪ You can take your teardrops ♪
♪ And drop ’em in a teacup ♪
♪ Take ’em down
To the riverside ♪
♪ And throw them
Over the side ♪
♪ To be swept up by a current ♪
♪ Then taken to the ocean ♪
♪ To be swallowed by
Some fishes ♪
♪ Who were eaten by
Some fishes ♪
♪ And swallowed by a whale ♪
♪ Who grew so old ♪
♪ He decomposed ♪
I don’t mean to say we’re all robots, but I wonder if you had been raised the way your mother had been raised. I mean, she had a father who just took off, didn’t come home. Then another man entered her mother’s life, and she became attached to him, and he bailed out.
WOMAN: I know what you’re saying. I did have that same one.
Very similar.
DONAHUE: But…
Okay, well, my question is if you had been raised as your mother had been raised do you think you probably would’ve knocked your kids around too?
WOMAN: See how many you catch in your mouth.
WOMAN 2: Okay.
Okay, open.
(BOTH LAUGH)
WOMAN (WHISPERING): Wait. Shh.
Fuck.
This fucking drunk bitch…
Put this on my room, please.
It’s definitely before 2:00.
(BEEPING OVER MONITOR)
I’m gonna need to see your ID, ma’am.
You’ve never asked me that before.
Ma’am, I’m gonna need to see your ID.
(LAUGHS)
You really want me to go all the way back up to my room, get my ID, and come all the way back down here?
It’s the rule. Aren’t you only on the second floor anyway?
When is this the fucking rule?
I have been in here every single night…
Maybe I cracked open the rulebook and found some shit out.
Well, maybe you should find my ID that’s behind…
MAN: Ladies, ladies, ladies…
It’s the rule, ma’am!
MAN: Ladies!
Ladies!
I’m not going back!
Ladies, whoa, whoa!
(BOTH YELLING) Ladies, calm it down, bro.
WOMAN: I’m fuckin’ chill.
It’s not that deep.
WOMAN: She fucking barking at me.
Just use my ID for it.
I can’t do that.
MAN: Why not?
I can’t use your ID for her wine.
Well then it’s my wine, she’s just paying for it.
She fucking took it.
MAN: Hey!
(FAINT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER)
What?
The name’s Jamie, by the way.
Got a light?
(SIGHS) I’m not interested.
In what?
I need to be alone.
Rude as hell.
A motherfucking thank you would’ve been nice, miss.
(BOTTLE CLATTERING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES FAINTLY)
(BEEPING OVER MONITOR)
(MONITOR SIGNAL FADING)
(SIGNAL CRACKLES, FADING OUT)
I’m, uh, at the hotel.
I’m outside just getting some fresh air.
CHARLES: I don’t like it when you leave her there by herself, even for a second.
It isn’t safe. I’m just outside for a minute getting some air.
The windows don’t open in there. (LAUGHS) To stop everyone from killing themselves, obviously.
All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what if she wakes up and she’s scared or…
Well, she never wakes up, and anyway, I have someone at the hotel now.
A babysitter.
Really? Where’d you find a babysitter?
Who is it? His name’s James.
His name is James?
He’s a male babysitter? Did you call just to call me a bad mother, or what?
You have no idea what it’s like not to be able to go outside even for a minute, by yourself.
You can go outside whenever you want to.
You can go wherever you want to.
The machine doesn’t fucking stop… and there’s nothing to do in…
Hey, I am over here working my ass off! Oh, my God! Who is the one who went to a baseball game today and who is the one who filled her bag with gloop 500 times, saw patients, picked her up, had to do dinner where she only got 20 percent, and then had to try to convince…
Can we please not do this?
Look, I gotta go.
The reception’s really bad here.
Everything’s fine.
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Did you go to the apart… (SCOFFS)
(LINE CLICKS)
Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Here are pics of hole.
Forgot to send today.
I went during lunch.
(PHONE BEEPS)
(STAMMERS) What is movie… babies, zombies, ’80s, mothers eating babies?
FEMALE PHONE VOICE: Here’s what I found. A court has reopened…
(LOUD CRASH)
(BREAKING GLASS)
Nineweekold baby really was taken and killed by a dingo 24 years after Meryl Streep portrayed the Australian mother wrongly jailed for killing her child. Chamberlain has always insisted…
(GLASS CRUNCHING UNDERFOOT)
What?
(WHISPERS) Mom?
(WHISPERS) Hello?
(LOUD BLARING TONE)
(CRYING OUT)
(TONE STOPS)
(PANTING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING FAINTLY)
(VOICES SWIRLING, OVERLAPPING)
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING, YELLING)
WOMAN: Wake up, Mom. Wake up. Okay.
(LINDA BREATHING HEAVILY)
(FAINT LAUGHTER)
WOMAN: Mom. Mom. You hear us?
(FAINT, ECHOING)
Come on, Mom. Snap out of it.
(“CANDY SHOP” BY JAE RAE PLAYING ON RADIO)
GIRL: ♪ If you wanna know this
If you wanna know that ♪
♪ Come to my sugar shack ♪
Hey. Hey, you know what would be super fun and like a really, really big kid type of thing to do?
GIRL: I can’t hear you.
I said, you know what would be super fun and a big kid type of thing to do?
GIRL: What?
If I drop you in front of the door and you just go in by yourself.
Oh, my God.
That would be so cool of you.
No.
Why not?
All the moms walk you in.
You’re a mom. You have to walk me in. You have to sign me in.
Eva! Eva!
Can you walk her in today?
Please, please, please?
I cannot deal with the parking.
(HORN HONKS) Of course. No problem.
No problem.
Thank you.
Okay. Exciting news.
Guess what? Guess what?
Eva will walk you in!
Go, go, go.
ATTENDANT: Let’s go!
Mommy, Addie scares me.
Come on.
She only eats Nutella.
I need you!
To be with you!
Honey, please. For Mama, okay?
Please? Please?
You are my mom.
We’ll go look at hamsters today if you do it.
“Look” at them?
I’ll get you one, okay?
Just go. Go!
(DELIGHTED SQUEAL)
Okay, see? I love you!
I love you, okay?
Everything’s gonna be…
Shit.
Hi.
GIRL: Hi.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
(HORNS BLARING)
I’m the worst.
I’m the fucking worst!
And then you told me that if you touch a baby bird, the mama bird will not come back if they know you touched them.
Hm. That must have been some dream.
Do you…
I’m not done.
You kissed me.
I said, you kissed me.
Yes. I heard you.
In your dream, I kissed you.
Yeah, and then the next day, I felt… crushing guilt.
And I knew somehow that your husband had called me an asshole.
You know, Stephen, we can talk about these feelings apart from your dreams.
But…
(SIGHS SHARPLY)
I can’t help it if in my dreams you always want to kiss me.
What’s the difference between going outside on hotel property when she’s sleeping… and going all the way home?
In one, I guess I’m just a regular mom making a shitty choice, and in the other, I’m a… I’m a… a straight up shitty mom.
Well, it’s not my role to decide whether you should or whether you should not…
That’s not…
No, no, no. I shouldn’t.
I know I shouldn’t.
I shouldn’t even leave her for a second.
(BITTER LAUGH)
I mean, it is your job to say.
Just tell me not to do it.
Just tell me what to do.
I don’t think you want me to tell you what to do.
You know what to do.
No one will tell me what to do.
I’m supposed to know how to fix this.
I’m supposed to know how to fix her.
What is it you think it’s your job to fix?
She has to weigh 50 pounds by next week, Dr. Spring said.
That’s a gain of 2.5 pounds, right?
Each day’s supposed to be 2,500 calories in compensating for her resting rate at 1,800 calories burned.
That’s gotta be at least 80% of each meal for seven days plus the tube, and that’s if she just lays still all day.
And if it doesn’t, then something about not getting the tube out and reassessing the level of care.
What do I do?
Tonight…
I would like you to get a good night sleep.
So would I, but I’m asking you a thing.
An actual thing, a problem to fix, and I need help with this.
Am I supposed to just sit around and watch her fail and this is just gonna go on forever? What do I do?
Okay. That means there’s no drinking.
There’s no drugs. There’s no…
Are you listening to me?!
Can you hear me?!
I’m asking you what I’m supposed to do!
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
Why don’t you like me?
(BREATH TREMBLING)
Why don’t I like you?
I know you won’t answer me.
Just forget it.
That is incredibly unfair.
Why is this so important to you right now?
(SNIFFLES)
I just want someone to tell me what to do.
No one will tell me.
GIRL (FAINTLY): I love him, I love him, I love him.
When we get home, he can live a happy life there.
(HAMSTER SQUEAKING)
(LOUDER) And we’re gonna have him forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever.
I love him. I’m gonna kiss him, and I’m gonna hug him.
Oh, my God. Maybe his name should be S’mores.
That’s really nice.
I said, don’t open the box.
I just wanna see him.
He’s been scratching.
He doesn’t like being in the box.
He’s trying to get out.
Can you hold it closed, please?
And keep it closed.
He’s scratching me!
He’s supposed to love me.
Close the box.
I can’t.
(SCREECHING) Mommy, he’s getting out.
Just hand it to me.
Hand it to me.
He’s gonna jump out.
He hates us.
Give it to me. I can’t see.
Give it to me.
(HAMSTER SQUEAKING)
GIRL: I think we got the wrong hamster.
Shit.
Ow! Shit.
(GIRL CRYING)
We’re gonna die.
No, we’re not gonna die, but I have to pull over.
Ow! Shit!
Maybe this isn’t S’mores.
Oh, my God.
It’s out. It’s out! Shit. Shit.
Oh, my…
Mommy. Oh, my God. It’s out.
Why aren’t you putting that back in?
Just put it back in.
(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Please! Put him back in!
I don’t want it.
I don’t want him anymore.
He’s bad.
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(CAR CRUNCHING)
(GIRL SCREAMING)
Okay. Okay, hey, hey, hey.
(GIRL BREATHING HEAVILY)
You’re fine.
You’re fine, and I’m fine, okay?
Nobody is hurt.
Let’s…
(UNSNAPS SEATBELT)
GIRL: Take it with you!
Take it with you!
I’ll be right back.
It’s gonna hurt me!
I hate my hamster!
Hey, man. What are you doing?
Hey, hey, hey.
Oh. You’re lucky there’s no damage.
We don’t have to exchange information.
What? My kid is in that car.
Do you hear her crying, huh?
You scared her to death, you dick.
Hey, Mom.
It was barely just a tap.
Don’t fucking call me Mommy.
She thought we were gonna die.
Don’t fuck with me about my child’s safety. Huh?
Give me all your information.
What the fuck is that?
What?!
That! That!
GIRL: Mommy!
(SHRIEKS) MAN: Oh.
(GIRL SCREAMS)
Mommy, what happened?!
Mommy!
LINDA (CHEWING): I love you.
I miss you. Come back here.
(PHONE BEEPS) Everything is under control.
(GROANING)
GIRL: Stop.
Do you know that I love you and I think you’re the best and so proud of you for everything, and you can do it, and you’re almost all better.
You’re so good.
Mommy, stop.
What? I can’t stop.
I just love you too much.
You smell like wine.
(PHONE BUZZING)
(SNIFFS, CLEARS THROAT) Hello?
Hi, it’s… it’s Caroline. Caroline Primm, your patient. I’m sorry it’s so late.
Um… Oh.
Is this an emergency?
Because, um, if this is an emergency, you need to hang up and…
It’s not an emergency. I just… I forgot to call you yesterday.
What?
Well, you told me to take Riley for a walk after I took a bath and calmed down and I did it, and I forgot to call you…
Oh. Okay, yes. Um…
Well, uh, that’s good, and, um…
Uh, I… I do feel though that I should tell you that this number is really for emergencies only, okay?
Oh. I’m sorry. I just… I just couldn’t sleep thinking that you were worried.
I wasn’t worried.
You… You weren’t?
You weren’t thinking about me? I said that you could call me if you…
I said you could call me if you couldn’t calm down not that you had to call me.
But, um… but are you safe, Caroline?
Are you…?
I’m… I’m sorry.
I… I misunderstood.
Yeah, I’m so dumb. Um…
Yes, I’m safe. Okay. Well, let’s talk about this in session, okay?
(VOICE SHAKING) I’m sorry.
I’m obviously bothering you. It is not your fault, uh… and I will…
I’ll see you next week.
Well, can I come in tomorrow? It’s just waiting until next week seems too long.
Uh, well, let me check my schedule, and I will text you a time, okay?
Okay. Um, I’m sor…
You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me! Shit!
(“LIFE’S DEBT” BY MUGSHOT PLAYING ON RADIO)
Hello?
Hello?
Hello!
Hello! Is anyone here doing their job?
Shit.
Want some help with that?
I know a trick. Got a knife.
Sweetie?
Little Bear, open up.
It’s Mommy.
Little Bear, open up.
JAMIE (UNDER BREATH): What is she doing?
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
What the fuck’s your problem?
What? Whoa.
What, you’re obsessed with me or something?
What are you talking about?
Don’t flatter yourself.
Well, why are you looking at me?
What? What do you want?
I don’t want you just sitting outside and by yourself.
Some creep might walk past or something.
What creep?
How the fuck do I know, lady?
There’s creeps all over this place.
Don’t call me lady.
My bad, miss.
Don’t call me miss.
Don’t. Just don’t.
Ma’am.
(SCOFFS) Frau?
Yeah.
Slag.
Oh, my God.
Your thottiness?
Housewife? (CHUCKLES) At this point, I don’t even know what to refer to you as.
I’m gonna just call you female.
Yo, crazy pants.
I was gonna partake in surfing the web for some things that I’m into, if you catch my drift, and I’m just putting it out there, you more than welcome to join.
No pressure. Just saying.
(MONITOR CLICKING, BEEPING)
What kind of stuff?
LINDA: Is that like the dark web?
Like where you can buy people and stuff?
I don’t know.
Never bought a person, so…
But you could? Or sell one?
I mean, I guess so, but I don’t come on the dark web searching for that kind of shit, so…
Aren’t there places on there where people, like, show each other videos of murders and people they’re holding captive?
Can we change the subject?
Let’s buy drugs.
Let’s get some…
(PATS LEGS) Some shit, right? Come on.
What do you want?
What are you into?
I don’t know.
Do they have, like… cocaine or something?
When was the last time you tried cocaine?
What do you mean?
It’s a very popular drug.
I like it.
All right. Well, I’m getting molly, so we’ll get both.
See, the thing is, I don’t get paid till next week, so I need you to cover me.
Oh. Oh, I’m… No.
No, no.
I see what this is about.
Where you going?
I’m going back to my room.
For what?
You don’t even have a key.
Besides, your daughter’s passed out.
Front desk lady’s definitely in a coma by now.
Calm down. Come sit down.
Let’s order. Jeez.
I could put it on my credit card, I guess.
What? No.
The 400, I could put it on my credit card.
No, no. See, man, it can’t be traced back to you.
It has to be anonymous.
Well, then how do you pay for the stuff?
All right, what we could do is we could go to a pharmacy or something real quick and put it on one of those gift cards or maybe you got Bitcoin, or crypto, or some shit like that?
No, I don’t have any of that stuff, and I can’t get in a car and leave my daughter alone in the middle of the night.
You leave your daughter alone all the time.
No, I don’t. That’s just if I go in the field.
Ha! I literally seen you leave your daughter alone myself with my own two eyes.
What’s the problem this time?
What are you?
You stalking me or something?
I’m a concerned citizen.
I mean, takes a village, right?
(GIRL MOANING OVER MONITOR)
What?
Sweetie! Sweetie! It’s Mommy!
(GIRL MOANING) You locked me out. Sweetie!
Sweetie! Open the door!
Little Bear, open the door!
GIRL: Mommy…
Just wheel the machine over and open the door!
Little Bear!
Open the door!
I locked myself out!
It’s Mom! It’s Mommy!
GIRL: Mommy? Are you there?
I’m not sure how we can talk about anything helpful if you won’t even look me in the eye.
You asked me for this extra session.
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
I can’t.
You must be so mad at me.
Mad? Oh, because you called me?
No, no, no. I’m not mad at you.
Let’s move on. Please?
You have a daughter.
(SNIFFLING)
Why didn’t you ever tell me?
Well, this isn’t about me.
But now I know that you know.
You know.
(STAMMERING) I don’t know.
You need to tell me.
It’s not your fault.
But it is mine.
Okay, you know, Caroline I think that it may be time that we… um… that we consult with someone about some medication for you.
Well, I can’t take medication.
I’m breastfeeding.
Do you want me to kill my baby?
Of course not.
I just think if a doctor thinks it could be beneficial, then maybe we need to… prioritize your… your… health over breastfeeding.
Just right now.
You know, you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of Riley.
I have to go to the bathroom.
Um, well, we only have 15 minutes left.
I have to go now.
Okay, well, can you wait till after the session?
No?
(SIGHS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(RILEY COOING)
(RILEY CRYING)
Oh… Oh.
Shit.
Oh. Okay, okay. Okay.
(RILEY CONTINUES CRYING)
Okay.
Caroline? Excuse me.
Caroline?
(RILEY CONTINUES CRYING)
It’s okay.
Caroline? Excuse me. Caroline?
I need you to help me out here. I…
Okay. I know. I know.
Caroline?
(RILEY CONTINUES CRYING)
Okay. Okay.
Caroline!
Caroline!
Yeah. I know.
What is going on here?
I’m in a session.
So, my patient, she has this baby and she said she was going to the bathroom and then she left the baby with me and I…
She’s gone. And now I can’t…
I’m with a patient.
Please, I need your help.
I really need your help.
I’m with a patient.
Plus, also, I’m not your supervisor.
This is a professional issue.
This is not a treatment issue.
Are you joking?
This is an emergency!
Whatever’s happening in here is not as important as what I’m going through here!
Okay, no.
I need your help!
Goodbye.
I need your help!
This is an emergency.
You can come back later.
Absolutely not.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
No!
(RILEY CRYING)
Okay.
(LINE RINGING)
MAN: Hello?
Hello?
Hello. Hello. Yes.
Hello, I am your wife’s psychotherapist…
Stop, I can’t…
…and she left today in the middle of her appointment.
I cannot hear you.
I cannot hear you. Who is this? Okay. Yes.
This is your wife’s therapist.
She left in the middle of her appointment today…
All right. You gotta stop.
And…
You gotta stop. I have no idea what you’re even talking about. Who is this? Is your wife named Caroline Primm?
And you are, um…
Your baby’s name is Riley?
And you are Nick Primm?
Yes. Okay, yes, right. Well…
My wife doesn’t have a therapist. Okay, well, she has been my patient at The Center for Psychological Arts in Montauk since she was about six months pregnant with Riley, and today…
Well, this is news to me.
Mm. Well, whether… (CHUCKLES) You knew that she was my patient or not, what I’m trying to say to you is that this is an emergency, and I really…
She left your baby here with me, and I need you to come and pick him up.
What do you mean?
What do you mean? What do you mean, what do I mean?
She left the baby?
She’s not answering her phone…
She’s probably in the bathroom or by a fucking vending machine.
Okay.
I suggest that you call her.
Maybe she would pick up if it was you.
I’m gonna text you my address to come and get the baby.
Oh, Jesus Christ!
I’m sure she’s okay.
I’m sure she’s okay.
I cannot even believe this.
I’m sure she’s okay. I’m sure…
You know what? This is so fucking typical of her.
Okay. Well, she probably just needed some space.
I’m gonna text you my address where… so you can come and get her.
Okay, look. Listen to me.
Him.
Listen to me. I’m at work right now.
I am at work right now.
That’s why she’s supposed to be taking care of the fucking baby, so I can work, okay?
(RILEY CRYING)
Here’s what I’m gonna do.
I’m gonna text you my address.
I’m in Amagansett. You can drop the baby off at this address, okay?
Okay, well, I can’t do that, and I am actually very concerned about your wife.
This is an emergency, and she…
You know, you’ve used that term twice now. This isn’t my emergency. I’m not the one who lost my fucking wife!
I need you to come down here and get your baby immediately, and if you’re not here within a half an hour, I’m going to call the police.
I will text you the address.
Thank you very much.
Oh, Jesus…
(BELL CHIMES)
Yes?
Hi, it’s Stephen.
(DOOR LOCK BUZZES)
(RILEY QUIETS DOWN)
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
May I come in?
(RILEY RESUMES CRYING)
I’m expecting a patient.
He just buzzed in.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
Would you mind waiting in my office down the hall just a few moments?
Your office?
Who are you, the boss?
No. Just another therapist.
I have an office.
It’s down the hall.
Door is open. You’ll see it.
This is my time.
She’s mine right now.
You can’t make me wait, okay?
This is an emergency situation.
You can either wait in my office or you need to leave the building entirely.
Is that a baby?
Is that your baby?
You have a baby?
I mean, do you guys have a baby together?
Okay, this situation does not concern you, okay?
Make a choice.
Okay, I’ll be in your office.
But I won’t wait that long.
(WHISPERS) Okay.
(WEAK CHUCKLE)
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
Wow.
Can you believe that I got talked into getting this fucking hamster after all of that? My God, I…
(CHUCKLES)
She’s right. I really am so stretchable.
It’s disgusting.
You know… when I was in medical school, I had to do a stint in a medical experiments lab.
And we were testing the efficacy of a drug on rats.
Oh, I… So cool.
And the way it worked is we’d take the rats, and we’d drop them in this guillotine thingy, chop their heads off individually, peel the skin back and then look at their brains under a microscope.
(EXHALES) I’m just so curious about the process with that.
I wonder…
The rats would claw and bite you… when you put your hand in the cage to pick them up.
So they gave us these steel chain mail gloves.
They’re German.
They’re beautiful.
So you put on the glove and you put your hand in the cage, and the rats would just attach themselves to the glove, clinging for dear life, you know?
(LINDA CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
And then when you got to the guillotine box, you had to shake them off.
Really shake them.
I was always worried that the rat would get hurt when it hit its head on the guillotine, you know?
But their brains were always fine when we looked under the microscope.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh.
Rodents are resilient creatures.
(LAUGHS)
Mm-hm. Yeah.
I’ll tell Stephen your session’s cancelled.
You have to take care of this, okay?
I love you.
(DOOR SHUTS)
Just tell me, was she suicidal?
Homicidal?
No. Mmmm. No.
No, she was obsessed with protecting the baby…
And, uh, yeah.
She wouldn’t hurt the baby.
And she didn’t talk about suicide.
She wouldn’t abandon Riley.
She just did abandon him.
Right, well, you know, I mean, um… you know, permanently. Forever.
Is that it?
I have another patient waiting who really needs my help.
It’s fine. It’s more common than you think.
A woman tries to run away from all the responsibilities.
Yeah.
Everybody gets all upset, then they come back with their tails between their legs.
Okay. Okay.
Thank you, Officer.
(RILEY CRYING)
PHONE MESSAGE VOICE: When you have finished recording, you may hang up or press one for more options.
(PHONE BEEPS)
Hi. Hi, it’s, uh… it’s me again, your tenant from 22 Algonquin, unit one.
You know, the one with the giant fucking hole in the ceiling!
Your repairs guy ran off, and it’s getting worse and I want to know why you’re doing nothing, and why you’re happy for my daughter and I to be staying at a flophouse full of freaks while I continue to pay you rent!
And I have a very, very, very important patient that is a prominent lawyer, and I am not afraid to…
(PHONE BEEPS)
Fuck!
I was after some Visa gift cards.
Uh, what denominations do you have?
Do you have a minute to talk before the children come out?
Mm-hm. Sure.
Okay, come.
(SIGHS)
So, I’ve noticed that you still haven’t made the appointment for family therapy like we discussed the other morning.
I know. It’s just been so crazy at work.
Right. So I can’t stress to you enough how important this is.
I’m on your side here.
Yes. Yes. Yes, I understand.
We need her off the machine.
Yeah, so do I.
Okay. I’m gonna be frank.
We need her off of it as soon as possible for her to remain here.
And to do that, she needs to gain faster.
Okay. Well, but we have until next week, right?
The 50 pound goal.
No.
The way things are going, uh, she’s not gonna make that goal.
What are you saying?
We do weigh-ins every morning.
She’s not gonna make the goal.
Because the goal you set was impossible.
We were set up to fail.
It’s unrealistic.
No.
We’re gonna have to reassess the level of care.
What does that mean?
Well, we can discuss it in our meeting.
You know what I would love, and think would be so good, is if we could get a date on the calendar for the surgery.
A concrete goal that we can all work towards.
It’s not… it’s not a surgery.
The tube removal? Well, uh… procedure, whatever you call it.
It’s not a procedure either.
Uh, when it’s time to remove it, the doctor just pulls it out.
Pull it out?
Yeah, it just slides out.
They could just… really just pull it out?
Yeah, it’s that simple.
Oh. But what happens to the hole?
It closes up on its own.
Oh.
It’s kinda like when you get a cut on your tongue.
It wants to close up.
Oh.
Yeah?
Oh, hi. Uh, is James here?
Who are you?
I’m his neighbor.
I’m there, in that room there.
He is not here.
Oh, uh, do you know when he’ll be back?
I just have something to give him.
Give it to me.
I’ll see he gets it.
No, no.
I have to give it to him myself. It’s, uh…
It’s of value.
Of value?
Uh, yeah. Of value.
(RHYTHMIC BREATHING)
(SHARP, RHYTHMIC BREATHS)
WOMAN ON PHONE: Relax your body.
(LINDA CONTINUES RHYTHMIC BREATHING)
Center in with yourself. Right now, your only job is to breathe. We’re in the work phase of this… The more you relax your body right now… the easier it gets for you.
(BREATH ECHOING)
Recognize we’re accessing the body’s wisdom zone. Let your mind go. See if you can find your attention within the movement of your breath.
(VOICE GROWS CLEARER)
Start noticing any sensation in your body…
(BREATHING CONTINUES)
And see what catches your interest or your curiosity, and hold the space in a way you want to be held. You’ll probably notice any intensity builds up in your body. That’s okay. Rather than trying to control anything, see if you can just allow… the intensity to…
(SWIRLING CHAOTIC VOICES)
(GIRL SCREAMING)
WOMAN: You’re not helping! Hold her legs that way.
Hold her legs down.
(WOMAN CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
WOMAN 2: We might have to restrain her.
WOMAN 3: Mom!
WOMAN: Hold her down!
WOMAN 2: You’re here to help us, come on! That’s not helping at all.
(URGENT VOICES OVERLAPPING)
(GIRL SCREAMS)
Mommy! Mommy!
WOMAN: Try to help.
Try to help. GIRL: Mommy!
(TONE BLARES, THEN STOPS)
(GASPING FOR BREATH)
(WOMAN ON PHONE CONTINUES, INDISTINCT)
Make yourself feel safe. If things are getting intense, recognize you can hold the space. You can love yourself right now.
(MACHINERY CLICKING, BEEPING ALARM)
Don’t avoid anything within.
Don’t abandon yourself. Stay connected to yourself. See if you can honor yourself in this moment of reconnecting to yourself.
(DEVICE BEEPS, ALARM STOPS)
(WOMAN ON PHONE BREATHING RHYTHMICALLY)
(MACHINE BEEPS STEADILY)
WOMAN ON PHONE: Use your voice and imagine your emotion. Allow it to be…
Maybe you can even do it tonight.
(WHISPERING)
Down here. This way.
(EXHALING)
(WHISPERING)
It’s in here. Here.
Okay, we gotta be quick because I have to get back, but…
I just… I just had to show someone what’s going on in here.
Okay.
So, a room filled with plastic tarp everywhere.
Nice.
So, is this your kill room?
No. Come on, I told you.
The fucking ceiling fell down.
What the fuck is that?
LINDA: That’s it. That’s the hole.
That’s why I’m at the hotel.
JAMIE: That’s why you’re staying at the fucking hotel?
Oh, my God. Come on.
You could’ve slept on your couch for a couple of weeks.
What? Look at it.
It’s been two months, and they refuse to fix it.
There’s dust and… and mold everywhere.
JAMIE: Mm.
(BLOWING)
(FAINT CRACKLING)
Yo, what is up there?
LINDA: They’ve been renovating forever.
They said a pipe burst.
Oh, shit.
It’s right there. There you go.
I did the… that… you know, the thing, the breath thing.
What?
(WHISPERS)
And I think it took me here.
I think maybe I…
Oh, man…
That’s why I wanted to come to see it.
Man, you need guidance with that shit.
You can’t just be doing that.
What are you doing?
Man, they lied to you, sis.
It ain’t even no pipes in here.
Maybe you shouldn’t get so close to it.
Shh. Look. Come see.
It’s a clean break.
I’m telling you.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. What the fuck?
Man, my cousin Craig is a general contractor.
He knows somebody that knows somebody that can fix this shit in a jiffy, yo.
Oh, my God.
It look like you got some motherfucking debris on your furniture.
(VOICE GROWING MUFFLED)
You know, I can reupholster it.
It’s gonna cost you.
(CONTINUES, MUFFLED)
WOMAN: Let me go!
(PEOPLE SCREAMING, INDISTINCT)
(GIRL SCREAMS)
(DEEP RUMBLING)
(OVERLAPPING VOICES CONTINUE)
GIRL: Don’t touch me!
(OVERLAPPING SHOUTS, CHATTER)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
Mommy! Mommy! I don’t want it!
You are doing such a good job.
GIRL: No!
No! Mommy!
WOMAN: You gotta hold her a lot harder than that.
GIRL (SCREAMING): No! No!
(PEOPLE BARKING ORDERS)
(GIRL SCREAMING)
(WOOD SPLINTERING)
(LINDA SHRIEKS)
(JAMIE SCREAMING IN PAIN)
(MOANS)
JAMIE: What the fuck?!
Oh, shit!
Oh, fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
(PAINED BREATHING)
Fuck! Oh, fuck!
James?
(SHOUTING IN PAIN)
(JAMIE PANTING)
(GROANS) Ah! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Oh, fuck!
(RAPPING ON WINDOW)
(YELPS)
(LICKING FINGERS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Everybody settle. All right?
Get started.
Hand out these, please.
Thank you.
All right.
So the topic today is something that’s so fundamental that it’s actually a little silly to talk about.
But it is so important to your child’s recovery, and more than that, to your ability to help your child recover.
Can anybody guess what it is?
Blame… and, anybody?
WOMAN: Shame.
DR. SPRING: Yeah, thank you.
(SCOFFS)
(CHALK CLICKING ON BOARD)
So, as parents, a lot of times we look too closely at ourselves, right?
And we start to ask ourselves, is this my fault?
Could I have done anything differently?
What if this? What if that?
But all it does is create a thinking trap.
(WOMAN CRYING)
And that does not help your child.
So what I’d like to do, if we look…
Melanie… do you want to put some words to your feelings?
(CRYING) Yeah.
I… Sometimes, I just think that it is all my fault.
(LINDA SCOFFS)
(MELANIE CRYING)
Do you have something to say to Melanie?
(STAMMERING) No. Whoa, no.
Never mind. Don’t mind me.
No, no, no. I want to hear what you have to say.
Uh… I just… You keep telling us that it isn’t our fault.
DR. SPRING: Yeah.
Mm. But… but it is.
Excuse me?
I mean, if it isn’t our fault, then we’re really super fucked.
We’re just walking around pretending we have power to change something that we don’t even understand because it’s not our fault, but we know how to change it, even though it’s not our fault.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
No, this is actually good.
This is actually good because now we have a lot to unpack.
No, no, no. I know.
I can’t do this. I have to go.
(MELANIE SOBBING)
Please sit down.
No, no, no. It’s our fault.
It isn’t fair, but it is our fault.
That’s how I see it. That’s it.
That’s what this whole thing is, is our faults.
Stop and sit down.
No, no, no.
No, I don’t want to talk about it.
I already know it, and I don’t have to meet you because I know what you’re going to say, which is that she’s failed…
I need you to sit down!
And that I failed because you set us up to fail.
No one tries hard if they have a safety net.
Sit down.
Nobody, okay?
And you should know that, Dr. Spring.
I’m gonna be here for the rest of my life pouring shit down that tube.
Every night until I die.
Do not leave that door!
And none of this is helping any of us. None of it.
Come back!
(MELANIE SOBBING)
CHARLES (OVER PHONE): Hey!
Hey, why are you calling? Isn’t a parent group going on right now?
LINDA: I couldn’t sit there.
I’m in the car. I’ll pick her up later, but I can’t stay there.
CHARLES: What do you mean you couldn’t sit there?
LINDA: I can’t do it.
I can’t do it. She’s gotta get better, but she’s not gonna make the goal, and I… I don’t know what’s gonna happen now.
CHARLES: You need to get back in there.
LINDA: The hole is getting bigger.
CHARLES: What hole?
Her tube hole? No! No, the apartment hole!
You told me…
The goddamn hole!
Why can’t you just keep tabs on those guys?
Because the guy’s gone for a week.
There’s no one working on it.
What?! A week?! When were you gonna mention that?
I’m telling you now.
It’s very complicated to explain over the phone.
Look, look, look. No, no, no. Just… just send me pictures…
No!
And I’ll have somebody take care of it.
No, no, no. No more pictures.
I’m not going back there.
I’m never going back there.
And I talked to Roscoe…
What are you talking about?
…and he’s so full of shit.
He’s not doing anything.
And by the way, I think he has a deal with the motel because there’s another…
Okay. Stop, stop, stop, okay?
Let me just get this straight.
You aren’t going into the program anymore, and you aren’t going into our apartment anymore? That’s right.
Why? How do you expect anything to get back to normal then?
It won’t.
(SIGHING HEAVILY)
What are you talking about?!
It won’t!
All right. Are you… are you in your right mind now?
Are you done? Also, there’s a woman missing.
What? Who? What are you…
Who’s missing? My patient. She’s missing.
She left and she’s not picking up her phone, and she’s…
Oh, okay. Okay.
Yeah, let’s take a deep breath.
Start from the beginning.
No, no, no.
I can’t talk to you about this.
Why aren’t you going back into the group?
I’ll just talk to my therapist later. I… This…
This is fine.
Everything’s fine.
Hey, hey.
Slow down. Slow down. Everything’s fine.
How many times a week do you see that guy? I just looked in the bank accounts. How often…
Every day. Every day.
Every day?! Come on!
Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
That’s costing us a fortune!
No sitting idle in vehicles.
Please move the car or yourself.
I have a right to sit in my car without you harassing me!
What–
Yeah.
Are you talking to somebody?
Yeah, there’s this creepy asshole who’s harassing me every fucking day!
He harasses me.
He’s obsessed with me.
He’s back at my window wanting something!
What are you talking about?
Are you going to leave the parking lot or get out of your car!
Oh, my God! Are you serious?
I will call the police!
Oh, my God! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Call the police.
Move!
Call the police. Yeah, I’m gonna call the police on you!
ATTENDANT: I never want to see you here again!
Oh, my God!
You’re harass…
This is harassment!
Anything in particular keeping you silent right now?
The fact that I want to be silent is keeping me silent.
I think…
This isn’t about you.
What I mean is I…
I mean, I pay for your time.
(CHUCKLES)
Right? So I can do anything I want with that time, and right now…
I just want to lay here without you talking.
Well, you did not have to come here for that.
Go lie on your own couch.
Do you wish I lied on my own couch instead of coming here?
All I’m saying is you chose not to be alone.
(SARDONIC LAUGH)
Oh, I’m alone.
No, you’re not alone. I’m here.
But no, you aren’t. Not really.
What we can do…
Can we just not?
Seriously.
Okay.
Do you know what?
Did I ever tell you that I was pregnant before?
Like, I’ve been pregnant twice.
I never tell anyone this.
It was when Charles and I were first dating and, um…
I got an abortion right away, like…
I took a pregnancy test and then just went to a random clinic the next day.
I got the surgical kind with the vacuum thing.
And it… hurt really badly, like…
A nurse held my hand.
And for some reason, I didn’t realize how badly it would hurt but…
(VOICE TREMBLING)
it really did.
Yeah, it was almost 20 years ago.
I’d have a kid in college by now if I hadn’t done that.
(SOBBING)
Maybe I got rid of the wrong one.
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
Why won’t you say anything?
I can’t breathe.
You don’t get it.
You don’t see.
You… you love to tell me I don’t get it.
What is it you think I don’t get?
What is it you’re so sure…
I can’t help you with?
I’m one of those people that’s not supposed to be a mom.
I’m not a mom. I’m not.
This isn’t supposed to be what it’s like.
This isn’t it.
This can’t be it.
Will you say something?!
Not everyone can do it.
I can’t…
Do you have any kids?
Do you have a kid!?
(FURIOUS GROAN) Hello!
Why won’t you talk to me?!
Why won’t you help me?!
I know what you’re doing… and I can’t have it.
What am I doing?
This isn’t working.
What do you mean?
We can’t see each other anymore.
I got here early.
You’ll have to wait outside.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
(MOUSE CLICKS)
CHARLES: Uh, look, I don’t know why you aren’t answering your cell, but Dr. Spring called and…
(BEEP)
It’s Dr. Spring. You cannot bring your daughter here for further treatment until we have…
(BEEP)
CHARLES: (GROANS) You are too much, you know? You are… I’m gonna…
(BEEP)
MAN: Hey, thanks for checking in. In case you forgot, my wife still happens to be fucking missing. You know, I don’t know what kind of number…
(CELL PHONE CONTINUES BUZZING)
What the fuck?
INTERVIEWER: You… You mentioned an aphorism from the Bible about a millstone.
Would you say what that is? That it’s better to tie a stone around your neck and throw yourself into the sea than to cause anyone to stumble… stumble.
INTERVIEWER: All right, let me make sure I’m getting that. It’s better to tie a millstone around your neck and throw yourself in the sea rather than to do what?
YATES: Cause someone to stumble. Stumble.
INTERVIEWER: To cause someone to stumble? Okay. What were you trying to accomplish there when you did take your children’s lives?
(YATES CONTINUES, INDISTINCT, FADING)
YOUNG WOMAN: all women, all Gen Z group think.
Like, what are your thoughts?
And?
Hello?
Yeah. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.
YOUNG WOMAN: That is totally unbelievable, right?
That’s completely unbelievable.
All of it.
GIRL: But Dr. Spring said…
I don’t care what she said.
I’m telling you, I had a work emergency and I couldn’t stay.
I had to leave.
It isn’t my fault.
I came right back to pick you up when I was supposed to like I always do.
I just… I just…
I just couldn’t stay for the group, but, you know…
I work with a lot of very sick people, honey, and sometimes they are…
GIRL: Sicker than me?
Sick in a different way than you.
But Dr. Spring said…
I told you, I don’t care what she said.
I’m your mother.
She loves me though.
She said so.
She said that?
She loves all of us. The kids.
(LAUGHS BITTERLY)
She has no right to tell you that. She’s a doctor.
She doesn’t have a right…
It’s true, though!
You know, I don’t think we need the program anymore.
I’m better?
Yeah. I think maybe, yeah.
Maybe we… we just do it, you and me.
What would happen?
(EXHALING) Uh… So many wonderful things. You would…
You’d be able to get the tube out, and you could go back to school and you’d be eating everything delicious in the whole word.
Wouldn’t that be great?
You can do that?
Do what?
Make me better?
I won’t need the machine?
(VOICE SHAKING) Well…
I’m better? They said that?
I think, maybe.
You know, and…
And if not, then we’ll just do it, you know?
You’re better than you were, and Dr. Spring’s not the boss of us.
Mommy?
LINDA: Yeah?
GIRL (CRYING): I’m really sorry, but I’m not better.
Please don’t be mad or sad that I said that.
(GIRL SNIFFLES)
(MACHINE WHIRRING, BEEPING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
(WHISPERING) Hello?
FRONT DESK WOMAN: There’s someone here who wants to see you in the lobby.
What? Who?
Won’t say. Come down or don’t.
(LINE CLICKS)
Thanks for checking on me.
Oh, you would not believe the day I had, honestly.
After you just left me all alone, abandoned in your spooky-ass apartment, with my bone sticking out my leg.
I called you an ambulance.
No big deal.
What else did you expect me to do?
It’s really painful.
I had to get back here to my kid, okay?
Mother of the fucking year.
I almost forgot.
I don’t care.
And what exactly am I supposed to do with your brick of cocaine?
Flush it.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
It must be nice.
Why didn’t they give you any crutches?
Fuck them crutches.
(DOOR SLAMS)
(MACHINE BEEPING OVER MONITOR)
(TECHNO PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(BELL CHIMING)
LINDA: It’s… It is you!
You… you’re here.
I hope that’s okay.
I accidentally followed you this one time, and…
You live here?
Are… are you okay?
I’m okay.
Okay. Okay.
Where did you go?
I just… I… I had to get out of there.
Okay, I understand. So, let’s…
Do you?
Do you really, really understand?
I think so.
Oh, shit. No. This is…
This is a mistake.
This is a mistake because I thought…
I thought that you understood, and that I wouldn’t even have to say…
Let’s calm down.
I think what we should do is get in a car right now and go straight to the emergency room.
A hospital?
Yes.
Why? Why?
Because it’s just a safe place to go…
Why? Why? No, I’m fine.
If you don’t feel ready to go home.
Well, what about your daughter?
My daughter?
Where is your daughter?
She’s upstairs. She’s sleeping.
I don’t want to go to a hospital.
I don’t want to go to a hospital.
Okay.
I want you to help me.
I’m trying to.
I am trying to help you.
Please help me.
No, no, because you don’t understand.
You don’t see it.
All of their faces.
Their little faces.
They look at us, and there is nothing there.
Okay, you need to calm down.
No! No!
You need to calm down.
No, I am fine! Okay?
But I just need you…
Let’s just breathe.
No, but you don’t know…
Just breathe.
In and out, Caroline.
Just take a breath.
Just breathe with me.
Stop.
Just start with a breath.
(HARD SLAP)
(GASPS)
(DOOR SHUTS)
Caroline, wait!
(BEEPING CRACKLES ON MONITOR)
(LINDA PANTING)
LINDA: Stop!
(MONITOR CRACKLING)
(MONITOR CLATTERING)
(PANTING HEAVILY)
Caroline!
THERAPIST (OVER PHONE): If this is an emergency, hang up and call 911. Otherwise, call back during normal business hours.
(LOUD WHISPER)
Okay, call me back.
Call me back tonight, okay?
Please? Please, you said that you could help me.
Please. Please, just call me back, okay?
I need you. Bye.
(MACHINE ALARM BEEPING)
(GIRL MOANING FAINTLY)
(MACHINE ALARM BEEPING)
(GRUNTING)
(LINDA EXCLAIMS)
(MULTIPLE ALARMS BEEPING RAPIDLY)
(PANTING)
(GASPS)
(BEEPING STOPS)
(MACHINE POWERS DOWN)
(BREATHING SHAKILY)
GIRL: Mommy?
(SHUSHING) Go back to sleep.
Everything’s okay.
My tummy is wet.
Sh-sh-sh. It’s okay.
I made it better, okay?
Go back to sleep.
(FAINT, PULSING THROB)
(LOW, WET GURGLING)
(PANTING)
(HEAVY, SHUDDERING RUMBLE)
(PANTING)
(GASPING HEAVILY)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(DOOR OPENS)
(YELPS)
(RESPIRATOR HISSING LOUDLY)
(COUGHS) Hello?
Hello?
(HOLLOW THUDDING)
Hello?
(HEAVY RUMBLING)
(YELPING LOUDLY)
CHARLES: Oh!
Why are you here?
Are you okay?
Where…
When did you get here?
Why are you here?
Where is she?
(GASPING) She’s asleep.
With the babysitter?
Yes.
Look, I just…
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t function.
I couldn’t do anything.
All I was doing was thinking about you, and her, and the apartment so I had to come back.
I was scared.
I wanted to help.
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, I…
CHARLES: What? You just gotta know how to talk to these guys.
That’s all.
Did you look at it, the hole?
Did you see it?
Did you see anything?
Oh, yeah. No, it, uh…
It was not fixed.
Now it’s fixed.
Okay. Okay, I think we should just… Let’s just go now.
CHARLES: I just don’t see how it got so bad.
How did it get so bad?
Are you trying to blame me?
No, I’m not blaming you.
I just…
I just want to get out of here.
It was a huge hole.
I want to get out of here.
Do you love me?
Yeah.
(CHARLES EXHALES)
Hey, hey. Wait, wait, wait.
What?
What’s the rush?
You were the one who was in a rush to get back here.
I don’t want to be here anymore.
We are here, all right?
Let’s relieve the babysitter.
I’m exhausted.
I want to get to sleep, and I’m excited to see her even if she’s sleeping.
I know, but why don’t you go downstairs and get us some wine or something and I can relieve the sitter and then you can come back up and then we can…
What’s going on?
What’s going on?
There’s nothing going on.
Open the door.
Me?
I don’t have a key.
Right, yeah. Okay.
Oh, God. Don’t tell me you left her here without having a key. Come on.
No, no, no. No.
Of course, I have a key.
What do you think I am?
Hey. I’m her dad. I’m Charles.
Nice to meet you.
You must be the babysitter.
Babysitter?
Yeah, James, right?
Jamie, right.
Oh, thank you for…
Oh, hell no.
I’m not doing this shit with you, yo.
Not doing what?
What are you talking about?
I’m not a fucking babysitter, dude.
Excuse me?
Your daughter woke up and was crying, scared shitless.
So I pounded on the fucking door till she finally opened it.
I had to tell her I was a friend of your wife.
Bro, it took me forever to get her to go to sleep.
And by the way, I had to give her a Band-Aid.
She has some shit oozing from her stomach or something.
Hey. Okay, okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Listen, who the fuck are you…
Watch the leg, man.
And what the hell are you doing in my room?
Your room?
Yeah. This is my wife.
That’s my child.
GIRL: Mommy?
My room.
JAMIE: I just fucking told you who I was, and you need to ask your wife why I got this cast on my leg.
LINDA: It’s… I don’t…
Who is this guy?
He’s the babysitter.
He’s not the babysitter!
He just told me he’s not the babysitter.
I don’t know what he’s talking about.
Who the fuck is he?
She’s awake.
Can we just go inside?
She can hear everything you’re saying.
Can you even explain to me why her machine is off and the tube is outside of her body?
GIRL: Daddy! Are you out there?
I ain’t in this shit, man.
GIRL: Come see me!
LINDA: Let’s go inside.
Daddy! Daddy!
Hey. Hey. Look-it. Yes, hi.
Daddy’s home!
Mom said we didn’t need the program anymore.
CHARLES: Oh, my gosh.
Look at you! You’re beautiful.
But I didn’t believe her because Dr. Spring said I do.
But look, she was right!
What? What are you saying?
Look! No tube!
What?
The tube is garbage now.
(CHARLES EXHALES) I can go back to school!
CHARLES: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
But Daddy…
I still don’t want to eat food…
What… because it’s too squishy.
CHARLES: What’s going on?
(PANTING)
GIRL: Will you take me to the playground tomorrow?
CHARLES: What did you do?
What did you do?!
GIRL: Mommy!
(SIGN HUMMING)
(DISCORDANT TONE BLARING)
(DEEP, THROBBING RUMBLE)
(THUNDEROUS CRASHING)
(CRYING OUT)
(GASPS, COUGHING)
(WATER RUSHING)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
(LOUD GROAN)
(SHARP GRUNT)
(GIRL SCREAMING)
(MUFFLED RUMBLING)
(FAINT, RUSHING VOICES)
(LINDA’S LUNGS SPASMING)
(PANTING)
(HEAVY, EXHALING YELL)
(FAINT, MUFFLED VOICES)
(INDISTINCT SCREAMING)
GIRL: Don’t touch me!
(SWIRLING, MUFFLED SHOUTS)
(GASPING FOR AIR)
(WAVE CRASHING)
(SHUDDERING BREATHS)
(SHARP, RHYTHMIC BREATHS)
(BREATHING CONTINUES, ECHOING)
GIRL (FAINTLY): Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!
(BREATHING FADES SLIGHTLY)
(PULSING RUMBLE)
GIRL: Mommy, I’m here. Mommy, please! Mommy!
(RHYTHMIC BREATHING CONTINUES)
GIRL (CLOSER): Please!
(VOICES SWIRLING)
(RUMBLING CONTINUES)
GIRL (SINGING): ♪ Sit beside
The breakfast table ♪
♪ Think about your troubles ♪
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
♪ Pour yourself a cup of tea ♪
(HEAVY RUMBLE)
(RUMBLE STOPS)
♪ Then think about
The bubbles ♪
Mommy?
(WAVES HISSING FAINTLY)
I’ll be better. I promise.
I’ll be better.
(WAVES BUILDING)
(CRASHING)
(SEA FOAM HISSING)
(WAVES CONTINUE ROLLING GENTLY)
GIRL: ♪ Sit beside
The breakfast table ♪
♪ Think about your troubles ♪
♪ Pour yourself a cup of tea ♪
♪ Then think
About the bubbles ♪
♪ You can take your teardrops ♪
♪ Drop them in a teacup ♪
♪ Take them down
To the riverside ♪
♪ And throw them
Over the side ♪
♪ To be swept up by a current ♪
♪ Then taken to the ocean ♪
♪ To be eaten by some fishes ♪
♪ Who were eaten by
Some fishes ♪
♪ Swallowed by a whale ♪
♪ Who grew so old ♪
♪ He decomposed ♪
♪ Doodoo ♪
♪ Doodoo ♪
♪ He died and left his body ♪
♪ To the bottom of the ocean ♪
♪ Now everybody knows ♪
♪ That when a body decomposes ♪
♪ The basic elements ♪
♪ Are given back to the ocean ♪
♪ And the sea does
What it oughta ♪
♪ And soon
There’s salty water ♪
♪ Not too good for drinking ♪
♪ ‘Cause it tastes
Just like a teardrop ♪
♪ So they run it
Through a filter ♪
♪ It comes out from a faucet ♪
♪ And it pours into a teapot ♪
♪ Which is just about
To bubble ♪
♪ Now ♪
♪ Think about your troubles ♪
(WAVES RUMBLING FAINTLY)
