Freakier Friday (2025) | Transcript

Freakier Friday (2025)
Director: Nisha Ganatra
Writers: Jordan Weiss, Elyse Hollander, Mary Rodgers
Stars: Jamie Lee Curtis, Lindsay Lohan, Julia Butters

Plot: Twenty-two years after the body swapping incident, a now adult Anna Coleman works as a music producer and is a single parent by choice, raising her teenage daughter Harper with the occasional help of her mother Tess. At school, Harper is constantly annoyed by her new classmate, British immigrant Lily Reyes, due to her snobbish personality.

When Harper and Lily cause an incident in chemistry class, Anna is called to the principal’s office, meets Lily’s father Eric, and they fall in love. Six months later, they are engaged, and the soon-to-be stepsisters are dissatisfied with their predicament. Harper also worries that her mother will consider moving them to London as Lily wants to return there to attend a fashion academy in honor of her late mother. During Anna’s bachelorette party, Anna and Tess and later Harper and Lily have separate palm readings from the supposed psychic Madame Jen, who tells Harper and Lily a fortune about their fractured lives. An earthquake then occurs, which only the four feel. The next morning, they discover that they switched bodies; Anna with Harper, and Tess with Lily.

The experienced Anna and Tess advise Harper and Lily to pretend to be each other rather than telling anyone about the switch until they can change back. Realizing their new identities could help them break their parents apart, Harper and Lily lie about Madame Jen giving them a reading to delay the reverse. Anna and Tess go to school and spend time in detention for a food fight Harper and Lily caused at a bake sale, while Harper and Lily enjoy the advantages of being adults and come up with a sabotage plan to cancel the wedding. At a photoshoot of Anna’s client Ella, Harper and Lily help the young singer overcome her recent break-up. They learn about Anna’s abandoned rock star dreams and find a love song, which they assume Anna wrote about her high school ex-boyfriend Jake Austin. They seek Jake, and Harper embarrasses herself when unsuccessfully trying to seduce him in Anna’s body to disrupt the relationship with Eric.

After escaping detention, Anna and Tess find Madame Jen, who reveals Harper and Lily’s fortune but warns them that all the four of them need to “change their hearts” in order to change back. Meanwhile, Harper, as Anna, goes to an immigration interview with Eric, and finds out how much he knows about and loves her mother. Eric also says that he thinks it would be the best for their families to stay in Los Angeles, causing Harper to have second thoughts about their sabotage plan. Lily, however, remains determined. She invites Jake to the rehearsal dinner and makes a scene by criticizing the Colemans, leading to a big public argument. Eric decides he cannot continue this way, and calls off the wedding.

Following a heartfelt conversation with Tess about her homesickness and the loss of her mother, Lily starts to realize the error of her ways. As Tess, she tries to convince her father not to give up on Anna. At the same time Anna, followed by Harper, is called to Ella’s concert, learning that Ella invited her old band, the Pink Slip, so they could perform together again. Although happy for the reunion, Anna tells Harper she never regretted abandoning her musician goals because Harper is the best decision she ever made, and the love song was actually written about her. Mother and daughter reconnect as they play the song together on stage. Tess and Lily arrive in time to see it, with Lily happily stating she wants to be a part of this family. Having a change of heart, they all return to their original bodies. Eric arrives to the concert, and he and Anna rekindle their relationship.

The wedding is held the next day. Some time later, the family attends the launch event of Tess’s latest book. Tess is shocked to learn that Lily, while she was in Tess’s body, made a rather unfavorable picture of her for the book’s cover using lip plumper.

* * *

Freakier Friday (2025) | Transcript

[crowd chanting]

Pink Slip! Pink Slip!

Pink Slip! Pink Slip!

Pink Slip! Pink Slip!

[guitar playing]

[phone chimes]

[Siri] Text from Mom:

“Hi, honey. I noticed you haven’t chimed in on the family chat.”

Text from Mom: “Maybe we can all FaceTime?”

Text from Mom:

“I’m just about to record a new episode.”

[♪ “Rebel Rebel” playing]

Hi. Welcome back.

I’m Dr. Tess Coleman, and this is Rebelling with Respect .

Today on the podcast, we are talking about a relationship dynamic that is very close to my heart.

“Grand coparenting.”

When my daughter, Anna, chose to become a single mom, it changed our family forever.

[mechanical buzzing]

Ryan! Cloffice. Recording.

[Ryan clears throat, spits]

Sorry!

As a grandma, I was able to step up and help her.

[alarm ringing]

[Anna] Harper!

[breathes deeply]

Harper, this is your 30minute warning that we’re leaving for school.

Harp?

This is now your 20minute warning.

Ten minutes.

Yes, confirm the recording sessions.

But know that I know she can sell out more than the Greek.

And yes, I know how many seats there are.

[knocks on door]

[Anna] Harper! I really wanna respect your space, but I’m curious as to why you’re not out here yet.

You have five minutes!

[Tess] Being someone that your loved one can lean on is the most important relationship there is.

Ryan, I’m getting so good at this!

[computer chimes]

No.

No, no, no!

Oh, it didn’t record!

[beeping] Moth–

[beeping]

[phone ringing] Hi, Mom.

Now is not a great time.

I’m just…

[Tess] I know, but I finished my podcast early, so I’m offering to do drop-off.

No. It’s okay. I’ve got everything under control.

Harper, you had to be up ten minutes ago!

Prepare to be triggered!

[♪ “HOT TO GO!” playing]

Harper!

Let’s catch one more.

[surfers chuckling]

[surfer] Dude, these waves are unreal.

[Harper] I love our lives!

[chuckling]

Yo, are we skipping first period?

Oh, shoot. We gotta go.

Harper!

[Harper] What?

I’m literally ready.

Barely. Barely.

I made your favorite lunch.

How was pickleball yesterday?

Did you beat ’em?

We say “annihilated.”

[chuckling] Mom, I told you I could take her.

I know, sweetheart.

But I saw on your stories that you were working at the studio late, and so I decided to take her.

You know, it would be healthy for you to unfollow me.

And I work late all the time.

I can still take her.

Anna, let’s pause and reframe.

When you decided to be a single mom, I told you I would support you a hundred percent.

Well, this is me supporting you a hundred percent.

Okay, you know what?

I’m coming too.

We can both do drop-off this morning.

[Anna] Mom.

No, go on. You can go.

[Anna] Just let them…

Oh, okay, you’re not going.

[horns honking]

[Anna] Mom.

You’re gonna go.

You’re not…

Nobody’s gonna go.

I’m gonna go!

So what’s up, kiddo?

[Harper] Nothing.

Okay, spill it.

All right.

My new lab partner is the absolute worst.

She’s the new girl, here for the year.

I mean, ugh, she thinks she’s so much better than everyone because she’s British, which she has to remind you of every five seconds.

Like no one’s ever been from England before.

[lab partner] So my dad opened his third restaurant in Paris, and that’s how I met my French boyfriend, Philippe Henri.

[sighs] Philippe Henri.

Ooh, la-la.

He’s French and a model.

You’ve seriously been to Paris Fashion Week?

Anna Wintour scowled at me.

Seriously?

What’s Paris like?

Oh, it’s lovely.

I go all the time.

Ignore the British girl.

After this year, you won’t have to see her anymore.

Nice advice from a therapist.

Well, I’m not her therapist.

I’m her Gram.

[Harper] All right, well, this has been real.

Please drive away like you don’t know me.

Make good choices!

You are so lame.

[horn honking]

Lame!

[in British accent] Are you ready for laboratory today?

Shut your mouth. [chuckles]

[bell ringing]

[teacher]

Fun bonus round today.

Never trust an atom. Why?

‘Cause they make up everything. [chuckles] Here all day, folks.

You’re supposed to put your goggles on before we start.

The goggles are giving Minion.

Yeah. We’re not, like, Minions.

So, no, thank you.

But they’re perfect for you.

It’s like the Revolutionary War was for nothing.

Today, remember, these are dangerous chemicals.

Maybe we should use notdangerous chemicals?

How about you do your actual share of the work instead of doodling?

[lab partner]

It’s called designing.

The measurements have to be precise.

This experiment is so simple.

In the UK, we did this in primary school.

The only reason people think you’re smart is because of your obnoxious accent.

At least people think I’m clever.

What’s that supposed to mean?

You’re smart. Figure it out.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

[Harper, lab partner] Oh, no.

Oh!

That was not precise!

That’s not precise at all!

Oh. Principal Waldman!

I don’t know, Mom.

I don’t know why the principal called me, but I’m here.

So you don’t need to come.

You know what?

I can’t find what I was gonna tell you about.

I’ll call you…

[grunts] Sorry.

It’s totally my fault.

No, no, no. II wasn’t looking where I was going.

Oh.

Are you okay?

[sighs]

[phone ringing]

[stammers] Your phone.

Yeah, I…

Yeah, I don’t know how to turn this thing off.

Yeah, I’m not sure, either.

I think, maybe…

I think you got it.

Is it off?

Yeah. It’s just…

Oh, thank you.

No problem.

Thank you.

[sighs]

Um, my daughter just started here, and I admit I’m quite lost.

Would you happen to know where the chemistry lab is?

This is serious. Someone could have been injured.

I’m sure it was just an accident. [chuckles] It seems to me a misunderstanding.

Harper seems so…

lovely.

Oh. Well, Lily seems so genuine and kind.

[both chuckling]

Wow. I certainly never had two parents come in here and be this attractive.

I meant “attentive.”

Oh.

Uh, Lily and I are definitely going to reflect on how to do better.

This is all Harper and I are going to think about.

We’re very, very committed.

Especially as a singleparent household.

Oh, us too.

We’re single. Parent.

Great.

I mean, uh…

I’m a single parent, yeah.

Single parent. Great.

Yeah. You know what I mean.

Yes. Same. Me too.

Single.

Single parent. Guilty.

Great.

I’m single too.

Oh, my God…

Should we meet up?

Perhaps our daughters should get to know each other?

Maybe, like, Wednesdays, after 6:00. Get a little wine?

Talk about these badass kids?

Harper would really like that.

Over dinner?

Dinner sounds perfect.

[Waldman] I’m on it.

Petit Trois ? Yes, can I have a table for two?

Private. In the back.

Do you guys have any allergies?

No.

No.

No. No allergies.

[♪ “Heart Attack” playing]

[Tess] Okay, you came here early. Spill it.

[Anna] There’s just no time.

Bachelorette party, dance rehearsal, final fitting, rehearsal lunch.

And, oh, my wedding.

You have a lot on your plate.

Big day. Deep breath.

There’s so much to do before Sunday.

Anna, let us know how we can help.

Maybe someone could help me memorize my wedding vows.

[Harper]

How about this? I’ll help you.

“I, Anna, take you, Eric, a man that I have been dating for six months, but might uproot my entire life and move to London, where we have no family and an avocado costs $11.”

Perhaps you should add something about my undying patience for teenage rebellion.

Spot on about the avocado.

Oh. That wasn’t about you.

It was actually about my mom’s other British fiancé.

She’s a comedian today.

Just today, though.

I see. Yeah.

[Anna] Right, Harper?

I have been practicing our first dance.

Wait till you see what I have cooking.

Ooh, I see what you did there.

I missed you since yesterday.

Ew.

[chuckles] [radio host] Trevor Travis just dropped a new single.

I think we can all guess who it might be about.

[music playing on radio]

Hello?

[horn blares]

I had my pastry chef make sticky toffee pudding pavlova for the bake sale.

Just what every teenager loves. Pavlova.

Agreed. Teenagers these days, sophisticated palates.

Yes, well, this pastry chef was up at 4:00 a.m.

baking oldfashioned chocolate chip cookies from scratch, with no staff.

Four hours for cookies?

I think we need to get you a staff.

They just needed to cool.

Stand up straight.

Good posture.

Okay. And do you know how bad this is for you?

Seriously, eat this.

Say, “Thanks, Mom.”

I saw that, Harper.

[horn honking]

Any day now.

Just trying to keep us on a schedule here.

[in British accent] Oi. Well, we wouldn’t want to be off schedule, innit?

Step, and…

Hi, Lil!

[Lily] It’s Lily.

Lily, back seat.

[normal voice]

Can’t Grams just take me?

No, this will be good bonding for everyone.

Well, I bond best with Lily when we’re not around each other, and I don’t have to look at her face.

Yeah, I love sitting next to you.

Reminds me that I’m amazing.

[Tess] Seat belts, girls.

[horn honks] [both laughing] [Ryan] All right. All right.

I got you.

You got me.

Good morning.

We’re ready to go.

Good morning. Car’s all set.

Up the coast, Route 1?

Yeah?

Yeah? What do you think?

[Tess] I’m not saying I don’t not want to go on the trip.

I’m just saying that Anna’s wedding has put me behind with my patients, which has been very disruptive.

Uhhuh.

And… And, of course, they keep adding dates to my book tour, which, you know, it’s out of my control.

And I’m just saying I need a little time.

Look, girls. [sighs] We’re trying to hear you.

Just try and hear us?

Oh, no.

I hear you trying to pull me away from my family and my friends.

I mean, who even gets to surf before school in London?

You can surf on the river Thames.

Really?

No, you dipstick.

Girls.

It’s a city.

You need toOkay, girls. Girls.

It’s our decision.

Eric and I will do what’s right for the family.

Hmm.

[Harper] Family?

Yes, this family.

Don’t say it like that.

Don’t sayThat sounds really cringe.

Don’t tell me what to say and how to say.

[sighs] [Lily] Harper, relax.

Don’t be so dramatic.

[Eric] Lily.

Stop gaslighting.

What?

You don’t even know what that means.

[Harper] I don’t wanna look at your face anymore.

You know what that means, right?

I think I know what it means.

[Anna] Yeah. I knew you did.

That explains why you talk rubbish.

[Waldman] For the bake sale, every table must have…

Okay.

…a glutenfree option, an eggfree option…

Please don’t slam the…

door.

Well, at least we don’t have to bring them to our immigration interview tomorrow.

Don’t be stressed.

They’ll come round.

Yeah, let them take all the time they need.

[artist singing]

He sounds great.

I’ll be back in a bit.

Here’s Ella’s schedule.

Thank you.

Oh, send those to the tour manager, please.

Yeah, okay.

[singer] Okay? Because I’m…

I’m a pop star on the rise.

Okay.

[singer] So I wanna do the album, you know.

We can come in here after midnight.

I got the keys to the studio.

How’s it going?

Oh, good morning.

Actually, it’s literally not.

It’s a bad morning.

It’s a very bad morning.

Not for me, personally, but for you.

Why, what happened?

[inhales deeply] Trevor dumped Ella.

And he already released a song about it.

Anna!

Oh.

Yeah, and he dumped her in a text.

Yeah, I got this.

Toxic icon.

I’ll get in the booth, and I’ma just lay it all down…

[Anna]

Okay, so Trevor wrote a song.

But I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.

It’s called “Better Than the Last One.”

It’s about me.

Okay, but that title, it could be about anyone.

It says, parentheses, “Ella.”

Let’s just focus on the songs that you’re gonna perform on Saturday.

Performing! Yay!

I can’t sing those songs.

I wrote them about Trevor.

I put my heart and soul into them.

No, a 44yearold Dutch music producer wrote those songs.

[Trevor]

♪ She’s nothing like my ex ♪

This is a hit! This is…

I can’t even stop moving my body.

Shh!

Look, my chest is just gyrating. I can’t…

Off!

Oh, turn it off.

Turn… All right.

What is that?

Did you learn that from Oprah?

[student 1]

Join the Environmental Club.

[student 2] Come over.

We have the best cookies.

[Simon] Welcome to the great Sunset Ridge BakeOff.

Shouldn’t these be more prominently featured?

Bon Appétit literally profiled my dad’s restaurant for these pastries.

I think they’re nice and prominent over here.

Uh, they’re gourmet.

They’re soggybottomed.

You know what? I think I see the perfect spot for yours.

Just…

Dude!

Those were Gram’s!

Come on.

You know what? I think I know the perfect place to put this.

You wouldn’t dare.

[sighs]

[gasps] Oh.

Yeah. Perfect.

Nice caramelization.

Oh. Just…

[students gasp]

Oh, my God.

[♪ “Oh!” playing]

[mouthing words] Food fight!

Food fight!

Oh, no!

[screaming] [Harper’s friend] They’re attacking us from above!

[student 3]

We need the high ground!

[clamoring]

[student 3] On my signal!

[distorted yelling]

[Lily] Too far, Harper.

Stop it!

Put that down! Stop it.

Give me that. Give me that.

Put that down. Stop it!

No, not the strudel!

Please! Or the tart.

Stop it! That got in my mouth!

Hey!

[Waldman] You want a fight?

Let’s fight!

[distorted clamoring]

[distorted gasping]

[gasping]

[exhales deeply]

Who started…

the food fight?

Congratulations, you two.

You just got everybody in here in-school suspension.

[students groaning] [student] Thanks a lot.

Is this key lime pie?

Yeah, I baked it fresh this morning.

Well, you gotta take me to the emergency room because I’m very allergic to key lime pie.

[Anna, through headphones]

♪ I just keep on coming back ♪

♪ I’m your good

And I’m your… ♪

[Ella] Is this you?

[through speakers]

♪ Baby, our love was made… ♪

Oh, uh…

That’s not supposed to be in there.

Was it for Pink Slip?

Hmm.

I saw them at the Troubadour last year.

Could I sing your song this weekend?

Oh, no.

You’ll have way better stuff than something I wrote.

I wrote that after I left Pink Slip anyway.

Okay. I got this.

Yes, you got this.

Opening your world tour at the Wiltern is a big show for you. Huge.

For the both of us.

The girls are struggling with this transition, and just…

just take it from a parent who has been in your shoes.

I know, Tess, between losing Lily’s mum and moving here…

Yes, and being ripped away from the home she grew up in.

Oh, I’m sorry. Are we talking about Lily or about Harper?

Harp? Lily?

[Tess]

That is really annoying.

[Eric] No, it’s just…

Hey. What the…

What’s going on?

Darling…

No one’s hurt.

I went to the school…

Please let me just handle this.

Anna, there’s been an incident at school between the girls.

It was really bad.

What bad? How bad? Oh–

[Eric] I’ve got this.

Girls, apologize to each other now, please.

Ooh, honey, forced apologies is never a way to resolve conflict.

That…

[Eric] But…

We need to make space for them to express how they feel.

[exhales deeply]

Harper, how do you feel?

I feel…

sorry.

And, Lily, how do you feel?

I feel… [sighs] …sorry too.

That’s great.

Great.

See?

Sorry that my future stepsister is a complete twit.

I’m sorry that my future stepsister is a shallow idiot.

Oh, am I? Really?

New plan!

No more holding space for feelings.

You two are gonna have a lovely time at my bachelorette tonight.

You’re gonna get along because we’re a family, and families love each other!

And for that, Harper, just for that look, you two earned yourself a sleepover at Gram’s.

Huh? Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Why am I the punishment?

I’m the fun one.

I have board games.

[Harper] Mom.

I have Parcheesi.

And you’re gonna braid each other’s hair in a non cultural-appropriating way and like it.

What is Parcheesi?

[Tess] It’s a game.

[Eric] I’m not quite sure.

You move around the board.

You shake the dice.

You remember the sound of the dice?

Oh, it’s amazing.

You get these dice, and you shake ’em in your hand, you move around the board.

Oh, Grams.

It’s really fun.

I also have Boggle!

You stay on your side, and I’ll stay on mine.

Gladly.

Harper, look, I know you think I don’t get it, but I do.

And it’s still just gonna be you and me.

If you go to London, I’m staying here with Grams.

She said it was cool.

She what?

Hey, Anna! Did you remove me as Harper’s secondary contact?

Did you tell Harper that she could stay here with you if we decided to move to London?

[stammers]

Are you serious right now?

Whoa. Are you serious?

[Tess] Okay, okay.

Why are you[Tess] What is serious is that you and Eric need to keep the girls in Los Angeles.

Lily just needs some guidance.

The only guidance I need from you is to show me to the other bathroom.

I’m very sorry, Lily.

I didn’t know–

You don’t know anything about what I need or how I feel, or the fashion school back home that I wanna go to.

[door slams] Oh!

Yep. Just you and me, Mom.

Great.

[DJ] Welcome, everyone, to the bachelorette party of our girl, Anna.

[Harper groans] Mom, for real?

[Harper] Why would you?

[Anna] Haven’t changed.

[Maddie] Not a bit.

[guest] Anna!

It’s so funny.

[guest] Get it, girl!

I remember that sixpack.

[Harper] Yeah, who is that?

[Maddie] So handsome.

[Peg] That is Jake.

[Maddie]

Your mom’s first love.

[Peg] And her first ride on a motorcycle.

I like to ride in Jake’s motorcycle.

Okay.

[guests chuckle]

[Maddie] Jake also had a thing for Tess.

[Harper] For Grams?

All right, okay. Enough humiliation for the night.

[♪ rock music playing]

Harper, baby, I made you a plate.

Here you go. You’re too young to be sad. Come on.

Well, being young is overrated, Mama P.

Eat. You’ll be fine.

[Mama P exclaims]

Use the tongs.

[sighs]

[sighs]

Lily? Mind if I join you?

You know, Anna lost her father around the same age that you lost your mother.

And then she had to deal with my wedding to Ryan.

Cool.

And then you add to that the complications of moving.

I’m here for you.

Sincerely.

With all due respect, Dr. Coleman, you’re not my gran or my therapist.

So, while I get your motive for keeping us in LA, I don’t need your help.

[exhales sharply]

[Anna] Oh, no.

We used to be so cool.

Hey, I’m still cool.

I look amazing.

You’re very cool. That song you sent me was sick.

Yeah.

Thank you.

I wish I had more time to write.

But now all I do is listen to parenting podcasts.

Well, I’m sorry for ruining your exciting rock star life.

Harper, wait. I was just–

Wait, I wasn’t serious.

Look, I gave up performing, but I have you.

[Harper] Enjoy your party.

[Anna] You can’t leave.

I don’t think I belong in here, Grams.

Let me handle this.

I’ve got you.

[Anna] Harper!

Anna, honey, you just need to pause and reframe.

Thanks, Mom.

What?

What did I do?

I was handling it.

And you completely undermine me as a parent.

I was trying to help you.

Well, your help isn’t helpful.

Well, that’s not very nice to say.

Can the great and mysterious Madame Jen interest you ladies in a psychic reading?

[chuckles] No.

Thank you very much, but, um, right now is not the…

Time?

It’s just not really our…

Thing?

This will all be over soon, if you just…

Go with it.

Go with it. Yes, exactly.

Come on in. Yes. Yes.

No. No.

Come.

Okay, I’m coming. Here we go.

Anybody else interested?

Let’s try this out.

I do discounts for bigger groups. Okay?

Okay. That’s fine.

That’s good.

[door locks]

And that’s how I lost my spot at the Larchmont Farmers’ Market.

But I did get a table by the lids and free milk counter inside of the Starbucks.

So, I am a life coach, but I also do Reiki.

If you notice, I have several business cards, because I actually have a business-cardmaking business.

So, that’s the card for that.

Uh, I can put quotes on there that I can just make up for you.

If you want something inspirational, for example, I can make up a quote like, um…

“Live your life… [stammers] gosh dang it.”

Okay.

[Madame Jen] So, here’s–

And-And-And I’m gonna read your palms now.

‘Cause that’s[Tess] Really?

[Madame Jen sighs]

Okay. And there they go. Yes.

[mumbles]

Eenie, meeney, miney…

[sniffs] Hmm.

Okay. It smells like you had some appetizers.

Were they good?

Good.

Good. Yes.

Yeah. Yes.

And did you have any, Mom?

Um, no. Mmmmm. No. I didn’t.

I’m

No. No. Didn’t–

‘Cause I paid for them.

I paid for them.

It’s a wedding. Okay.

[babbles] Okay. Okay, okay.

Your life lines. It…

It’s like they’ve…

intersected before.

How strange.

Really?

[Madame Jen stammers]

You’ve walked in each other’s path.

It’s like a crazy path-cross that you’ve done.

[gasps, straining]

[distorted]

You’ve learned a lesson.

A lesson that may serve you again.

Okay. That’s enough.

Thank you. Okay.

[Tess] We’ll give these to my neighbors.

[normal]

I’m onto something here.

One more thing. [sighs] Right over there is a QR code that you can tip me with.

Any amount is appreciated.

Really.

I didn’t know I could do that voice.

Nice prank. Haha.

Yeah, we know what you did.

What did I do?

What do you mean? The psychic.

Yeah. Telling her about–

[Mama P] What–

Okay, okay.

You think I’d rather solve your problem than deal with my booming culinary empire.

♪ I just thought

Think about ♪

♪ All the things you can

And can’t get ♪

I’m following you because–

You’re happy here, so…

Are you the psychic?

I need you to look into my future and tell me where we’re going to live.

Oh.

Cool Gen Z talking to me.

If it’s not London, I need you to alter my destiny.

And I literally have to stay in Los Angeles, so, if there’s–

Well, that’s not really how it works.

Well, how does it work?

Girls, follow my aura.

[chuckles]

Boop. Beep.

[mimics pushing buttons]

[Madame Jen] You don’t have a lot of lines in your hands, so it makes it harder for me.

You two are called to be family.

Yeah, right.

[scoffs] Don’t remind me.

A lesson for you all.

I see it now.

[gasps]

Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.

Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.

Change the hearts you know are wrong…

Why is she rhyming like a bridge troll?

Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.

Change the hearts…

Earthquake.

Earthquake?

[rumbling] [music in venue slows down]

[rumbling stops]

[distorted yelling]

[singer, normal]

♪ Here and now ♪

[slow] ♪ Here and now ♪

Did you feel that?

Yeah, I…

It must be the dancing.

Yeah, right.

We’re just freaking ourselves out for no reason.

Yeah. It’s just in our heads.

Right.

[radio announcer]

With your surf forecast…

All cozy and tucked in?

Fearless prediction for the full moon tonight

[exhales sharply]

You need anything?

What more could I possibly need?

[Harper] How about sleeping in our own beds in our own rooms?

Hmm.

Hmm.

Sweet dreams.

[Tess scoffs]

Teenagers.

[Anna sighs]

[Anna] I was one once.

[Tess] Yeah, so was I. Twice.

[Tess] Night.

[Anna] Night. Love you.

[Tess] Love you too, honey.

[thunder rumbles]

[Madame Jen] Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.

Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.

[alarm ringing]

[Harper groans]

I don’t have an alarm.

[Harper]

Why do my hands look so dry?

[grunts]

[Harper] Why am I so tired?

[Harper] Mom?

[Anna] Mom?

[Harper] Grams?

[Anna] Grams?

Grams. Grams, are you okay?

Why are you bloody waking me up for?

Are you mad?

Mad?

Why do I sound like this?

[Anna] Sound like what?

American!

[gasping, grunting]

Oh. Good. Mom.

What was that?

Ow! Oh. Ow!

[sighs]

[Harper] Lily, are you okay?

I’m not Lily.

Are you Harper?

No.

No. No. No, no, no.

I’m bloody decomposing!

Oh, my.

[both screaming]

[both gasp]

Harper?

Oh, my God.

[Harper] Whoa.

What is happening?

[Harper] I know.

It’s me, Harp. It’s Mom.

What are you saying?

So if you’re me and I’m you, then… then who is that?

I’m Grandma, sweetheart.

[screams]

Oh, my gosh! I’ve died.

I killed myself!

She just has crevices all over her face.

Look at the crevices.

My hands look like doll hands.

My butt feels so high.

I think I just peed a little.

[Harper] Oh, no.

My face feels so thirsty and dry.

My face is perfect.

My face looks like a Birkin bag that’s been left out in the sun to rot.

Why?

Why do I have to pee again?

This is so much weirder than the last time.

Last time? What last time?

How come you never told me?

[Harper] We never told anyone, sweetheart. Overnight oats.

Now let’s just pause and reframe.

No. I didn’t want to be a part of this family and now I’m part of some dodgy family curse?

And I’m the eldest?

Mom.

And where are her lips?

She has no lips!

Where did they go?

[Anna] How do we fix this?

Well, you know, last time, we switched back when we saw things from the other’s perspective.

[Lily]

Should we hold hands?

Hold my hands.

Well, we can–

Just… [clears throat] Yeah.

I know I’ve been hard on you and Eric, but I can now see that you’re doing the right thing.

And, Mom, you have always done so much for me, and I see you.

I see you.

Are you really seeing me?

Mmhmm. I really see you.

Because I don’t feel anything.

You have no idea how hard I’m seeing you right now.

[Tess] One, two, three.

[Anna] …three.

[groans]

Girls, that doesn’t work.

Yeah, we tried that last time.

Looking like this is why people like you become shutins, and what’s with this accent?

“Tomato.”

Is that what you think I sound like?

[in British accent]

Oh, my God, yes.

Of course this is what you sound like.

Let’s go to Erewhon…

I do not sound like that.

I’ve never said that.

I don’t even know…

Then I need to call my energy healer because I need a chakra reset.

That’s what you sound like.

The healer.

Madame Jen.

I thought she was a psychic.

Ow. I thought she did sound baths for dogs.

I thought she was a water sommelier.

She did try to sell me knives.

[stammers] What? No, well, whatever she is, we have to find her, but until then…

“Until then” what?

Last time we convinced everyone that we were each other until we switched back.

Oh, brilliant. So how are we supposed to pull that off?

Well, panicking is not going to help anyone!

I need you to get dressed.

This sucks!

Go. Go getNo! Stop.

Bye, girls.

It’s going to be great.

Look, Mom.

I kept it totally together in front of the girls, but I have to be honest, I am freaking out right now!

That was you keeping it totally together?

Yes!

No, no. Just checking.

[Lily] Aura photographer.

Hmm. Twenty percent off on her Etsy shop.

I can’t get married.

I haven’t even had a boyfriend yet.

We have to switch back to our bodies.

At least your body didn’t wake up with arthritis.

It’s disconnected.

I guess her life coaching business went bust.

I’m supposed to get married this weekend.

[Tess] What are these?

And how many puffer jackets does someone need?

Hmm. Reiki master. [gasps] What? What’d you find?

I bent down and didn’t toot.

Youth really is wasted on the young.

And what’s with the old tissues in every pocket?

Explain.

[dial tone]

No answer at Reiki. Now what?

Did you try her vegan meat loaf truck?

They don’t have a number, and they only use DoorDash, and I don’t know how to do that.

I look Eileen Fisher years old.

I’m literally my mother.

I’m going to need therapy for the rest of my life and not the kind from Grams.

Like the real kind that you have to pay for.

[groans]

Why does anyone wear these?

Did she say anything, like a fortune?

No, but maybe she told the girls.

[Harper]

Did the psychic say anything to you about a fortune?

It could be the key to getting out of this.

Wait, she did, right?

She did.

What was it?

“Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.”

[gasps] That’s about our parents getting married.

LA. London.

As teenagers, we have no power.

No say in whether we move or stay, but as adults…

Mom, she didn’t say anything to us!

[screams]

[Harper grunting] Oh.

Whoa. Anna. Anna!

You do not hit me.

I am your mother, young lady.

So, what do you say?

[Harper] Well, then…

[Harper] It’s not working!

We need a plan.

[Lily] Not my fault!

DK doughnuts!

[Harper] She’ll love those.

Harper, got ’em.

[Harper] I… I’ll love them.

Hey, girls.

How was the sleepover?

Good.

Very good.

We did teenager stuff.

Very good.

[Tess] So here’s our plan.

First, these clothes are rubbish.

I just can’t.

Can you just give me five minutes?

What?

Oh, no.

How? Why?

[Tess]

You’re in your mum’s body, so all you have to do is tell my dad you don’t love him anymore.

Wedding is off. Done.

Whoa. Got some bangs.

What did you do to my hair?

I fixed it.

And you’re welcome.

It’s called a fringe.

Fixed it.

You don’t seriously think you’re going to my work dressed like this.

Take that off.

You’re going to get me fired.

What’d you do to my hair?

I straightened it.

You never wash your hair.

No, I don’t.

The ocean washes it for me.

[Tess] Obviously, the wedding can’t happen.

It’s Friday.

We only have till Sunday.

We gotta do some serious sabotage.

The immigration interview, the rehearsal lunch.

Then what if we cancel all the wedding stuff?

The cake, place, people.

Yes, and all we have to do is convince our parents that they are incompatible.

Which should not be hard because my mom obviously should not be with some wannabe Gordon Ramsay.

Well, my father doesn’t want to be with some wannabe Valley Village rocker mom.

I quite like this, sexy tiger.

Doughnut!

It’s, um…

It’s an American superstition that it’s bad luck for the bride and groom to kiss before they say I do so…

Really? For how long?

For a long time.

A long, long time.

Really?

Yeah. Also, uh…

no touching hands.

No touching at all. [chuckles] No gazing into each other’s eyes because it’s gross. Um, yeah.

How odd.

For maximum luck.

[Tess] And finally, we must be convincing as them until we break them up.

[Ryan] Lily?

What?

Yeah?

Did you just take Tess’s calcium?

[Lily] Mmm.

[Tess] Mmm.

Bone health.

You need those.

You need those.

Yes, I’ll be taking them.

Okay.

You need to take those.

Give me the doughnut back.

No. You’re very diabetic.

[Eric] Okay, girls.

Let’s crack on.

[all] Oh.

[Harper] Um…

Well, actually, uh, Lily and I aren’t feeling very well.

We think it might be a…

My throat.

…smart decision to stay home.

This has nothing to do with your detention?

Oh. Uh…

Well, you wouldn’t want me to go to school sick, would you, Mom?

Hmm.

You don’t feel sick to me.

Does she look sick to you, Grams? I mean, Mom?

No. They look fine.

You have your client Ella’s huge Rolling Stone photo shoot today and your immigration interview.

Don’t you need a little bit of help with that, hmm?

Of course she needs your help.

[scoffs]

Right? Kids these days.

They’ll say anything to get out of school.

All right. Come on. Let’s go.

Go on. And make good choices.

See you at the dance studio!

Bye! What?

Dance studio?

Let’s go. Change at the club.

I’ve got your bag.

Change?

This is the finals.

Welcome, everybody, to the Westside Pickleball Championship.

Yeah. You have your championship today.

I think you’re gonna be late.

Late? Yes!

Yeah, I’m gonna be late.

[dance instructor]

Okay, newlyweds, you just made your grand entrance into the wedding reception.

The lights begin to dim.

And a five, six, seven, Eric.

[instructor] Beth, no.

Oh, right. Like a bull.

[instructor] Yes!

Charging. It’s a bull. Yes.

Stallion.

Get it, groom.

Big stallion energy.

[Beth] It’s a bull, though.

[instructor] All right.

[instructor] So look at him.

What?

[instructor]

Eye contact, come on.

Hi.

Hi.

Tango is your pelvis.

[commentator 1] Pickleball.

It’s a sport like tennis but it is pathetic.

Tennis for lazy people, that’s what it is.

It’s like tennis but for nonathletes.

It’s a bunch of old nutters with giant paddles chasing a Wiffle ball.

It’s not bloody Wimbledon, is it?

Here we go.

That’s yours!

Okay. That was so fast.

[shrieks] Oh, so aggressive!

What was that?

She almost hit me!

[Eric] Oh.

[Anna] Okay.

[Eric] No. You’re going down.

[instructor] Up. Up you go.

I think you should go up.

No, it’s okay. It’s fine.

This is good right here.

You’re just lying on the floor.

Taking a little nappypoo.

It’s not a nappypoo, it’s tango.

Oh, no. I’m just thinking that maybe tango isn’t our dance.

Um, anything else?

Beth, what else is sexy?

Come on. Let’s keep our head in the game.

Whoo!

Game point, suckers.

[distorted breathing]

[screams] Drop in!

[shrieks] [grunts] Serena Williams, she’s got nothing on the sounds these ladies are making.

The body-thumping beat of hip-hop.

Like that? Yep.

Bop, bop, bop. Yes.

A hop and a hip-hop.

I’ve never seen this kind of hip-hop.

[Tess shrieking]

She’s on the ground.

How is she doing that?

[opponent] That’s a new move.

That’s defensive offense.

Defensive offense!

Woman, get up!

[opponent, distorted] Oh, no!

That was close!

Wow! Did you see that?

Did you see that?

Did we win?

[crowd cheering] Yes! Yes!

We won!

[opponent]

I believe that was illegal and I’d like to roll back the tapes and watch that one more time.

Take that, boomers!

Okay. You know what, no.

Okay, first of all–

Hold me back.

You stay back.

We are not boomers.

We’re Gen X!

We are elder millennials.

Some of the last millennials.

The finale.

[Eric] The finale.

And five, six, seven, eight.

Go! And slide. That’s it.

[♪ “(I’ve Had) The Time

of My Life” playing] [Beth] Get it.

To the side. Whoo!

Get it. Yes!

Ow!

[instructor grunts]

[instructor] And Anna.

Run, girl.

Run!

Anna.

Come on, let’s go.

[Beth] Run!

Get it. Run. Run.

Run.

Anna.

[Harper] Mom, we’re supposed to know where to go.

[Lily] Act natural, honey.

Detention’s that way.

Can you tell… Okay.

[Harper] I have an immigration interview, a rehearsal lunch, Ella’s big show, my wedding, and I am stuck in detention!

Well, I’m stuck here too.

And it’s the championships for the entire Westside.

Well, well, well.

Look who showed up.

Lily Reyes and Harper Coleman.

How have you not retired yet?

The school had our pension invested in crypto but since I’m not supposed to complain about it, per my lawyer, it’s neither here nor there.

So let’s surrender our devices Let’s go.

Mr. Bates… Come on.

We just got our phones back.

That’s right. We love school.

Here.

[Mr. Bates] Thank you, Simon.

And now it’s time to prepare for the most boring task you could ever possibly imagine.

Sit there, read or think only.

No screens, books.

[groans]

Wait.

Does he mean hours of uninterrupted peace?

Wipe that look of bliss off your face.

Get over yourself, Elton.

This is high school, not prison.

Yeah, it’s not a prison.

Which, FYI, research shows is ineffective at preventing recidivism.

Yeah, “resisism”.

[Lily] You know, giving back to the community is a lot more effective than trapping people inside.

Oh!

You wanna go outside?

Let us out.

[students] Yeah, let us out.

[Harper] Let us out.

Let us out. Let us out.

Let us out. Let us out.

Outside.

Move it! Let’s pick it up!

[horn honking] Out of the way!

We need to find Madame Jen, now.

We need our phones.

Come on, Reyes!

You run like my grandma.

Pick it up.

Rude!

Pick up the pace or you’ll pick up trash.

[venue assistant]

It’s in two days.

Yeah, I know. I don’t care about the deposit.

And the officiant?

That includes the officiant?

Cancel that, too. Thank you.

[line disconnects]

[Siri]

Call from Jett. Answer it?

Is this for real? Yes.

[Jett] Where are you?

The editor from Rolling Stone is here.

Come on! Hurry up!

Oh, no.

[editor] Remember, it’s the Hungry Tour.

Trevor’s allergic to strawberries.

[editor] Look sweet, Ella.

Ella’s having a meltdown.

Morning, Anna.

Hello, my staff of people that I see all the time.

Can you sign off on the dress?

Here’s your juice.

Oh, thank you.

Mmhmm.

All right, so she’s over here by this…

Girl, what?

Ugh.

Why would you give me that?

You yell at me if I don’t.

Anna. Jean shorts, rash guard.

Laundry day?

[sighs] Let’s talk about the headline for the article.

“It’s giving ItGirl.

Pop star queen Ella slays down the house.”

Wait, what?

Or, “We’re gagging, besties.

Ella’s new album just hits different.”

No, no. Just stop.

What deeply out-of-touch old person came up with those?

You did.

I did? Wow.

Thanks, puss.

Okay, I really need you to focus on Ella–

Okay.

[Ella sobbing] Do something.

Ella?

[Ella] Trevor unfollowed me.

And you know what that means?

No.

What it means is that the whole world knows that he dumped me.

It’s everywhere!

Okay. I am your manager, so I’m gonna manage this.

Okay.

[Tess] Ryan, I really do need to dash.

But they said the photographer is back in 5 minutes.

Photographer?

Yeah.

For your new passport photo.

The one you need for the international part of your book tour?

Oh, yes.

I remember every detail that you told me about me.

Yeah. I got prescriptions, you got the essentials.

Essentials?

Yes.

Do I need all these things?

I need that. Yes.

Where does this go?

[retches]

What? Adult nappies?

That is so lazy.

Oh, hey.

Yes. Right here.

Fixodent?

Yes.

Isn’t that toothpaste for old people?

No. This is for when you lose your teeth.

I’m gonna lose my teeth?

No!

[Mr. Bates] Okay, slowpokes.

I want every blue spirulina smoothie spill gone.

I want every chia seed scraped.

Every chewed piece of organic gum on the bottoms of these seats gone!

Way to go, Harper.

Use your nails if you have to.

What?

No, this was Lily’s fault.

Elton.

Yeah?

I understand that you feel the need to prove a point because I publicly undermined your authority.

Oh!

Do you understand me?

This isn’t restorative justice.

I mean, if anything, you’re making these kids want to act out more.

How does Lily always manage to make things worse?

It’s a unique talent.

I have connections on the school board, Elton.

Well, you’re a stupid kid and you have no connections, but you have earned, along with everybody here, three more weeks of detention.

Oh, my…

Lily!

Bro!

Your royal highness.

Come on!

My God!

That was uncalled for.

Let’s all take a deep, centering breath.

[detention student]

Meditate on this!

Take a deep breath of this trash.

[Tess] You ready?

[photographer] Stunning.

Wow.

[muffled] Good, right?

I think you’re having an allergic reaction.

No, no, no, no.

It’s lip plumper.

I’m gonna get some ice.

Okay, give me the ring light.

And every bottle of Benadryl I can find.

[Tess, muffled]

It’s lip plumper. No, Ryan.

I don’t have allergies.

Oh. Okay, whatever.

Do you have another ring light?

Like, a big ring light?

[photographer] Sure.

And another thing. Can you…

Yeah, okay.

You hold the ring light.

I’ll pose. Okay, ready?

I got it.

Let me look. Hold on.

Oh, no.

Just 10, maybe 15 more.

I’ll give you looks, okay?

All right, here I go.

[Tess] “Dear Sir, must cancel the wedding venue because the bride is horrible, as my daughter always suspected.”

Oh! Who’s Laura?

Hello, hello.

[Laura] Hey, hon. I need your approval on the author photo.

Okay.

Texting it over now.

[Tess] Oh, no. No, no.

That one’s rubbish.

I just took a new one.

I’m sending now.

Thanks.

Oh, look. Her phone has the giant letter virus.

Oh!

Ryan. Is it possible for you to drop me at Anna’s work?

[announcer]

Hey, you Trevorheads.

That was your boy, Trevor Travis, with his brand-new song, “Better than the Last One.”

My mom’s biggest client is having a meltdown.

Jett!

I’m working!

Trevor, her boyfriend, dumped her.

Trevor Travis?

♪ She’s so much better

Better ♪

♪ Better than the ♪

♪ Last one ♪

[gasps]

And they just got matching tattoos.

That is literally the worst thing I have ever heard happening to anyone ever, full stop.

Thank you.

Of course.

Anna’s getting married, so she doesn’t get what it’s like to have your heart broken.

I know. When I was your age, my mom–

I mean, I had this boyfriend, Jake, and all my friends say he was my first love.

Is that who your song’s about?

What song? My song?

[Anna, through speakers]

♪ See you in my dreams ♪

♪ Whenever you go

I tear at the seams ♪

I wrote that?

[chuckles] It’s really good.

This is a great song.

You’re really good.

I don’t get why you quit playing.

Because I had a kid who I probably resent since I’m writing songs in secret.

So, you miss performing?

I mean, yeah, probably.

I’m finding out a lot about myself today.

[music stops] [sighs] Anna, your song is the only song I loved out of everything that we got sent.

I know you already said no, but can I please sing it at the Wiltern tomorrow?

I mean, it’s your concert, your tour.

You should sing whatever song you want.

Okay. Yeah, just–

I feel like between managers and stylists and execs and label people, I feel like I never get a say in anything that goes on.

Right?

Right, because old people never listen.

I mean, people like you think–

I think people like me think people like you don’t know anyYou know what I mean.

Yeah.

I have control over my own life.

Absolute control.

Photoshoot’s back on.

Photoshoot is back on, grasshoppers.

Chop, chop, chop.

Let’s make some fierce photos of this fierce girl right here.

Bruh, having a job is really hard.

Wait.

What? “Wait” what?

If your mum wrote that song about that Jake…

Yeah.

…that’s how we can get our parents to split up forever.

So if she is with him, she can’t marry my dad.

Well, how do we find him?

[Tess] It’s like a database of old people.

Jake. Yes.

That’s him from the photo.

[Tess] Wait, wait, wait, look.

[Tess] Okay.

And he owns the Record Parlour.

[Tess] He has liked all your mum’s posts.

He is proper obsessed with her.

Single. Okay, let’s do it.

Let’s do it.

But first, your mum must look fit if she’s gonna run into the love of her life.

And I need to change, too.

Ella’s stylist has pulled the most gorgeous garms I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

[Ella] Do we love this for me?

Girl, the label loves this for you.

Can we just put it on your–

No.

Maybe on your shoulder?

No.

Rest it on your head?

[Tess] Please, can we just put our differences aside so that I can live my dream? Please.

This is only because of the plan.

Oh, thank you.

You’re welcome.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

[♪ “Super Graphic

Ultra Modern Girl” playing] It’s not very me.

Harper. This is so exciting.

So, posing for the camera, it’s very different.

Find a shape and then hold it.

Yeah. Okay.

Good luck.

Where did the fruit go?

I’m s–

Oh, this is cool.

Oh, that is chic.

It’s recycled I think.

‘Cause I’m a pop star.

Pop out.

Yeah.

Pop.

No! No! No! No!

No, no, no.

[in unison] Oh.

[Ella] Tess, your styling is so on point.

You two are the coolest adults I have ever met.

Thanks.

Bye.

[Tess] Thank you.

My mom does have a cool job.

Yes.

Think she’s our new best friend?

I think so. I think so.

Do you guys need a ride?

Oh, yes. Totally. Yes.

OMG, yes.

[PA chimes]

[Waldman] Attention, students.

You’ll be happy to know that my anaphylactic shock has subsided.

[retches]

[retches]

[Waldman] Yes. I didn’t die.

[Mr. Bates snoring] Thank you.

[retches]

[PA chimes]

[Waldman] And I hope those who were involved in that food fight are loving detention.

[fans cheering]

Oh, no.

They’ve gone completely rogue.

[Tess] Whoo!

Yeah!

[Tess] This is so cool!

[Lily]

What are we wearing?

They’re on a joyride with Ella.

We’ll never find them.

No, but we can find Madame Jen.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Oh, yeah.

[♪ “Spice Up Your Life” plays]

♪ Every boy and every girl ♪

♪ Spice up your life ♪

[Lily] Madame Jen said she lost her table at the Larchmont Farmers Market, but now she can be seen at the Starbucks across the street from the Larchmont Village wine and cheese shop.

Look, I know we don’t have time…

But we are here.

And my metabolism is the speed of sound.

♪ Spice up your life ♪

[vocalizing]

[Harper]

I got extra whipped cream!

[Lily] My knees work!

I haven’t had real dairy since Bush was president.

Curly fries!

[Harper] Flexibility!

♪ If ya know

That you feel fine ♪

Mmm.

[laughs] We really need to find Madame Jen.

Yes, but they have onion rings on their burgers.

I haven’t digested like this in decades!

I’m still not full!

Sugar.

Remember sugar?

But after this, back to the mission.

Mmm. It has my full attention.

All you have to do is go in there and flirt with Jake, and remind him why he fancied you when you were young.

Wait, I wasn’t me when I was young.

And I don’t know how to flirt.

And I definitely don’t know how to flirt as an old person.

What do they do, talk about transitional lenses?

Home repairs? John Mayer?

I… I don’t know.

Oh! I have an idea.

We both wear our Air-Pods.

That way you can help me because you have a French boyfriend.

So you definitely know how to flirt.

Yeah… Defo. Yes.

I’m gonna go in, and then I’ll give you the word when to come in and make your sexy grand entrance.

What sexy grand entrance?

What do you mean?

[Tess] You have to be sexy.

How?

[Tess] Like…

Sexy.

I’m not doing that.

[engine roaring]

[engine revs] Oh.

♪ Oh, my God ♪

♪ Take me back

The way that I was ♪

♪ Oh, my God ♪

♪ You know I only tried to

Play your games ♪

♪ So you cannot

Forget my name ♪

♪ You and I are not the same

You always had it easy ♪

♪ Oh, my God ♪

♪ Take me back

The way that I was ♪

♪ The way that I was ♪

[chuckles]

[Jake] Hey!

This is a different look.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

It’s awesome. I didn’t know you were coming by today.

I got the stuff in the back.

What stuff?

What do you mean?

[Tess] That’s him.

That’s her bloke.

What’s happening?

He’s going to get me stuff.

What is your mother doing behind my father’s back?

[shushes] No. Hey, hey, hey!

Do not shush me. Okay?

Get down.

He can’t hear me.

Get down. I’m ignoring you.

Hey, thanks again for doing this.

What exactly are we doing here? [chuckles] Signing the merch for the charity auction.

Oh.

Right.

Here you go.

Right. The merch.

[Tess] Oh!

I have a question.

Do you ever think about me?

About us?

I’m not sure there’s a right answer to this question.

I mean, do you ever miss us?

You’re getting married this weekend.

Unless I’m not.

[“…Baby One More Time” plays] [Tess] Okay, very good.

Now, do something cheeky.

Like, flip your hair.

Good.

Ooh, good. Big, big, big moves. Big moves.

One more. Shake your head.

Shake it.

More. Like, all the way around.

There you go. Shake it.

Excellent.

Okay, um, wink at him.

Try winking. Wink.

Wink.

Wink. One eye. One eye.

Now do both.

Wink. Okay, good.

Okay. Um, that’s not working.

Um… Uh… Oh!

Bite your lip. Bite your lip.

Why is he looking at you like that?

[muffled] I’m biting my lip.

No, not your top lip.

Your bottom lip.

Bite your bottom lip.

Like that, pouty.

I know what this is.

I’ve seen this before.

You’re having a stroke.

Mmmmm. No, no.

We need to get you help.

I just need to go to the bathroom.

I just… Yeah.

Gotta go to the bathroom.

Uh, it’s in the back.

All right. I’ll find it.

Are you sure? I…

There’s no merch in theI was really bad at that.

So bad at that.

How do you know your boyfriend liked you?

[stammers]

You just know.

Huh?

How? Like, specifically.

You’ve dated a guy.

You know this.

You have experience.

Tell me. Help me out here.

Harper, I… I don’t have a French boyfriend.

[gasps]

My entire dating experience is watching 500 hours of Love Island .

Wait, you’re, like, the most confident person I know.

It’s an act.

What?

Well, you’re not gonna tell everyone, are you?

No. I’m not like that.

I wouldn’t do that. [chuckles] Okay. Thank you.

Oh! You’re not gonna hug me, are you?

No, I was… Just…

No, don’t do that.

Okay, it was just…

All right, look, no, we should get back out there. Right?

Because, otherwise, he’ll think I’m pooping.

[Lily] There she is!

I see her. Right by the milk.

And I see your screenwriting career taking off.

If you move over to, um…

[barista] Genre?

Genre, yes.

Genre.

[barista] Elevated genre?

Um…

No. Sorry.

[Harper] You!

[Madame Jen] Um. Oh.

Um…

How can I help?

Take one wild guess.

Are you gonna serve me papers?

We switched bodies.

Oh!

Oh, my gosh.

It actually worked.

That’s amazing.

It’s never worked before.

Um, would you guys mind leaving me a review or, like, five stars?

And just saying, like, “Oh, my gosh!

Madame Jen was so much fun…”

Tell us how to switch back right now.

Okay. All right.

Um, I’ll consider it if you sign up for my Reiki and financial management package.

Tell us how to switch back, you multihyphenate lunatic!

Oh, my gosh.

I am a multihyphenate.

That absolutely slays.

I’m supposed to get married in two days.

Right, okay. Um…

All right. Well, you have to look at the reading.

That’s the only way.

We don’t know the reading.

Um, what are you talking about?

I said the reading directly to you both, multiple times, in a scary whisper voice.

Because we weren’t there.

That wasn’t…

Right! Oh, right.

You weren’t you because you had switched with the other women, who are…

Okay, that’s…

And it makes sense.

Um, okay. Well… [sighs] …the reading was, “Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.”

Didn’t we try that?

I think we tried that.

We tried it.

Okay, the problem is your hearts might not be the only ones that need changing.

So…

Mmm. Cute.

[chuckles]

Well, our time is up.

[Harper] Wait, but…

No, no, no.

There’s got to be something else you can do, right?

I wish I could help you, but my shift is starting.

So, what I can do for you is get you a cortado, an Americano, a…

[mumbles]

…and any kind of espresso or non-espresso drink.

[phone rings]

It’s your dad! Shoot!

[Jake]

This is all new inventory that we need to get sorted.

Uh, excuse me.

Tess?

Oh!

What are you doing down there?

Stretching.

Ah. Yeah. I…

Anna didn’t…

She didn’t tell me that you were gonna be here today.

Oh!

What interview?

I mean, yes, I know the interview. Now?

I was just thinking about you the other day.

Really?

I’ve been meaning to ask you something.

Sure.

And, um, I don’t quite know how to broach the subject.

But is, um, your husband…

Is he still with us?

Yeah. I can’t believe it.

I mean, he’s so old.

How… How old is he?

We never talk about it.

Somewhere between 50 and 100.

[chuckles]

[Tess] Really.

Yeah. Yeah. But… Okay, let me focus for a second.

I’m worried about Anna, all right?

She’s been being weird with me, and she keeps asking if I ever think about her.

You know, maybe she is reconsidering.

Reconsidering?

[Tess] Uh-huh.

Three weeks ago, she told me how in love she is with Eric.

Do you know that she wrote a song about you?

No.

Anna!

Daughter.

Why don’t you tell Jake about the song you wrote?

I wrote a song about us.

[Tess] You know what, I’ll give you your privacy.

I’m just gonna go look for music for old people.

You know, really old, like Coldplay.

It’s nice to hear you’re writing again.

Yeah, can you just give me a second, bro?

Just one second.

Coldplay…

We need to get to the immigration interview. Now.

Okay, let’s go.

[Anna] Yeah.

Oh! My legs are so weak, my knees are cracking like walnuts.

[knees pop]

[breathing heavily]

What is happening right now?

My brain is telling my body to stand up, but it’s like shouting into the abyss.

See?

I just tried to get up again.

Okay.

Help me. Help me up.

Okay.

We have to find a way to get to the immigration interview.

[Tess] Okay.

[Anna] Yes.

Wait, I have an idea. Come on.

[Jake] So, that’s why Tess and I have a special bond.

Oh, Jake. Hi.

Could we borrow your car?

Oh, and don’t worry, we’re totally of age to drive.

Anything for you, Dr. C.

You ready?

Hold on.

[engine revs]

Whoo!

[inhales sharply]

Oh, that’s a woman after my heart.

[laughs] I love driving!

I don’t wanna–

I don’t know who taught you how to drive but they weren’t good.

[tires squeal]

[♪ pop music playing]

Wrong side! Wrong side!

Wrong side!

[Tess] Okay.

You’re gonna get us killed!

[horns honking] [Anna] Oh, geez.

[screams]

Oh! I can’t look.

I can’t look.

No, no.

I’m a very good driver.

[Anna screams]

[both screaming]

That was smashing.

[Anna] Whoo!

[Tess] Oh!

[tires screech] Hi.

Hi. [chuckles] Nice car.

It’s totally mine.

[Anna] You think he’s cute.

[Tess] I do not.

You totally do.

Stop. I do not.

[Anna] Yes, you do. You do.

[Tess] I do not. Shut up.

[Anna] She thinks you’re cute!

I do not!

Yes, she does.

I do.

She so does.

I do.

Thanks.

Dr. Coleman?

Oh, my gosh. Go.

That’s my therapist!

[Anna] You nervous?

[Eric] Oh, why would I be?

We’re perfect for each other.

You’ll see.

Oh, that’s cryptic.

[Anna clears throat]

[worker] Coleman/Reyes?

Ah, yes. That’s us.

Go.

My love.

[Anna clears throat]

So many ruffles.

Yeah.

There we go.

Ah.

How are you?

Oh, um, I was just dumped by my fiancé, so…

You know.

Oh, no.

I… I’m so sorry.

Oh, what a decent thing to say. Thank you.

Yes, of course.

Are you single? [chuckles] Kidding!

Um, can I see your paperwork?

Ah, yes.

[worker] Yeah.

I’m sure you’re approved.

Wait. Whoa.

Don’t you need to see if we really know each other?

I mean, usually, yeah, but he seems like such a kind and honest man who clearly works out.

Oh.

A lot. [chuckles] I mean you could be a gymnast.

I did once qualify to represent the UK in pole vaulting.

You’re kidding. Really?

I’d still like for us to prove that we, you know, are marriage material.

So, what’s my favorite road trip snack?

Uh, 7Eleven hot dog dipped in blue Slurpee.

Dream vacay?

Taking the girls to the Galapagos.

Harper would love the biodiversity and I think Lily could really benefit from the dirt.

Though she really just wants to see a, uh…

Komodo dragon in the wild.

It’s her favorite animal.

These are too, too easy.

You gotta hit me with the hard stuff.

What is my guilty pleasure pump-up song?

Oh.

Uh, darling, I promised to never divulge that highly-classified information.

See? He doesn’t know me.

At all. See?

Okay.

We can’t get married.

[groans] It’s…

It’s Chumbawamba.

She told you?

Wait. “Creepy Crawling” or “Tubthumping”?

♪ I get knocked down

But I get up again ♪

♪ You’re never gonna

Keep me down ♪

♪ I get knocked down

But I get up again ♪

♪ You’re never gonna

Keep me down ♪

That’s the one, yeah.

[chuckles, sighs]

♪ Pissin’ the night away ♪

Oh, wow.

♪ Oh, Danny Boy, Danny Boy ♪

♪ Danny Boy ♪

[sniffles, groans]

Danny was my fiancé’s name.

Okay, enough.

What’s my deepest, darkest fear?

Oh.

That your love for Harper and need to protect her will push her away rather than bring her close.

And then she’ll run away and be a surf bum and then she’ll get a dodgy tattoo of the sun around her belly button.

But you’re a phenomenal mum and Harper is amazing, so that will never happen.

Well, that was really sweet.

I didn’t know that.

[worker] You know, I approve hundreds of marriages that… [scoffs] …probably won’t even last a year.

But you two…

Thank you.

[clears throat] Next.

Well done. We got approved.

Ugh.

Ugh, my seafood vendor says we canceled.

I should deal with this.

Bet.

Yeah, my mom’s almost here.

Okay.

Uh, bye.

What an odd mix-up.

[tires screech]

Hop in, muppet. How’d it go?

Your dad knows a lot about my mom.

I think he really loves her.

[Tess] But did you do enough to break them up?

I don’t know.

[groans] I need to clear my mind.

Can we go somewhere?

Yes, yeah. Get in.

[Anna] Don’t drive so fast.

[Tess] Okay. Buckle up!

[engine revs]

[Anna screams]

[Harper] “Change the hearts you know are wrong to reach the place where you belong.”

What do you think she meant by that?

[Lily]

I think she made it all up, but look on the bright side, honey, these scooters are so much fun!

Why have we never done this before?

Because you already have one fake hip and you do not need another.

Very funny. I’ll have you know, in this body, I have two real hips.

[screams]

[laughing]

[vendor] Whoa!

[screams]

[Harper groans] Sorry. Sorry.

Nothing broke!

We’re invincible!

Bone density!

I’m not exhausted!

[both laughing]

Girls, get in the car.

[phone chiming] How do kids get away with anything anymore?

[Tess screams]

You know, I hated you a little less today.

I think it’s hard to hate me when I look like your gran.

[chuckles]

[Tess] And…

I hated you a little less today too.

I just don’t understand how anyone can dislike California.

It’s, like, a wrong opinion.

Harper, you can’t have a wrong opinion.

I mean, look around.

Yes. Okay, Harper, it’s lovely.

It’s lovely.

I just…

[sighs]

…I miss England.

We can talk about her if you want.

No, thanks.

I think if I talk about her, I’m giving away what little of her I have left.

Okay.

And why are you so obsessed that I like Los Angeles?

Well, I’m not.

Yes, you are.

No.

Yes.

And look, even if I liked it a little bit here, I mean…

You… You still don’t want me around.

Obviously not.

Obviously not.

I guess it’s a good thing we’re stopping this wedding.

Yeah.

Where are they?

They’re supposed to be home by now.

This is very good.

A little dry.

Very fruit-forward.

And by fruit, I mean grapes.

Your lack of concern, it’s not working.

Just stay calm, honey.

Stay calm?

But I’ve got the rehearsal lunch, the final dress fitting, and my wedding is in 36 hours, and I’m trapped in the body of a ninth-grader.

[Anna] I did.

I told you she approved it.

You most certainly did not.

[Anna] What difference does it make, anyway?

It’s done now.

Where on earth have you been?

Oh.

Well.

Can’t two adult women come home when they please?

What do you think you’re doing driving around like that with Ella all day?

Ella needs to talk to you, by the way.

You need to give her more attention.

Why am I dressed like that?

I need more attention from you sometimes.

She has a lot of stuff to talk to you about.

[shushes] She was crying.

Okay, I don’t care about that right now.

Did you make it to the immigration interview?

Yes, I did.

Just, like, chill, okay?

Or do your weird breathing stuff that you do.

Chill?

I am the adult here.

I’m in charge.

[both scoff] Doesn’t look like it.

You just earned yourselves a consequence.

Ooh. No.

Oh, no.

Give me your phones.

Sure.

[Tess] No.

Psych.

By the way, you’re the reason this is all falling apart.

[Anna] Shut up. No, I’m not.

[Tess] Yes, it totally is.

And don’t…

Girls, this is serious.

We all need to start getting along unless we want to be stuck like this forever.

You know, you lot are getting the better end of this deal.

It’s us who are gonna be dead in, like, five years.

She’s 37.

I’m 36 and a half!

While you two were out having fun, we found Madame Jen.

And she made us buy business cards for everyone and a Reiki ten-pack!

What even is Reiki?

Huh? What is it?

Stop talking about Reiki.

Well, Madame Jen said to change your hearts, so change your freaking dang hearts.

It’s the only way for us to get out of this mess.

I’m switching to red.

Do you want one?

You’re making Mommy very stressed!

…use Reiki now! [sighs]

[♪ moody pop music plays]

♪ You think that I’ll leave ♪

♪ Don’t worry ♪

♪ I just keep on ♪

♪ Coming back ♪

♪ I’m your good

And I’m your bad ♪

♪ ‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

♪ Ooh, oh

‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

♪ Baby

Baby ♪

[Eric] Okay, Blue Crush.

Look at you.

Shredding the waves, dude.

Never use those words again.

[chuckles] Wait, what are you doing here?

Our lessons.

What lessons?

Surf lessons.

But it looks like you’re ready to surprise Harper and take her out.

Oh, yeah. That’s really gonna surprise Harper.

Obviously.

[chuckles] Oh, no, I just ate a bowl of onions.

In the water?

Yeah, they keep me alert.

[chuckles]

Okay.

Look, I know it feels like we’re in an impossible situation.

Maybe that’s why things have felt a bit off with us.

Yeah, probably.

Yeah, but Anna…

I think we should stay in LA.

What about Lily?

Going back to London, to Pembridge Hall, it’s not going to bring back her mum.

And there’s no one keeping us there anymore.

If I’m honest, we’ve felt so lost.

So what she needs is to be with family.

A gran like Tess, a sister like Harper, and you.

[sighs, chuckles]

What is it?

It’s just…

I can’t believe how much you love me and my family.

It’s a real, true love.

It’s just… It’s crazy.

Okay. Well, you made it look so easy.

I’m gonna give it a go.

I don’t know if that’s–

Maybe I’ve improved as much as you!

[groans]

Oh!

I’m okay! [groans] Oh.

[Eric] No. I’m gonna wait.

I’m gonna wait for the instructor.

I mean, you were amazing.

You were, like, weaving and dodging, and you’re like a pro surfer.

I’m glad we talked.

Yeah, me too.

[Eric] It’s good we came to a decision.

[Anna] Yeah, dude.

Really good.

[Eric] See you at the rehearsal lunch!

[Anna] Totally, but my mom said I have to…

It fits perfectly.

Anna, come look.

Oh, wow.

[clears throat]

Sweetheart… [sniffles] …fix your posture.

This is weird.

Weirder for me, trust me.

Really? Are you the one wearing your mom’s wedding dress?

Well, I never thought I’d get to have this experience.

Especially like this.

[Anna] Well, Mom, you know how much I love to wear a dress.

[Harper] Ugh. Sorry this is such a mess, Harper.

[Anna] Mom, there’s something I need to tell you.

What were you talking to my dad about this morning?

Oh, we were just talking about the lunch.

What about the lunch?

Just lunch stuff.

Oh, right. The lunch.

[Anna chuckles]

Okay. Um.

I’m just gonna make a quick call.

[Anna] Okay.

Okay.

[♪ dramatic music plays]

Oh, hi! It’s Tess.

Um, listen, last minute but Anna was wondering if you might like to attend her rehearsal luncheon.

No, no. You would not be an imposition. You know what?

I think your appearance there would make it a much more lively affair.

[Eric] So, I just wanted to say that I’m very excited.

And being at my new restaurant makes it all the more special for all of us to finally come together as a family.

So with that said, welcome to Lily’s.

[guest] Congratulations.

Thank you for coming.

Really, Eric and I so appreciate it.

[server clears throat] Oh.

Right. Thanks.

[server] Champagne, ladies?

Yes, please.

Yes, please.

‘Cause we’re adults.

Mmhmm.

Girls, Eric’s parents are here so best behavior, please.

Stand up straight.

Good posture.

Anna, my soon-to-be daughter.

My heart is so full.

[Anna] That’s me. [chuckles]

How was your flight?

Oh, it was 13 hours and 30 minutes from Manila. Ugh.

Major jet lag.

Some worse than others.

[snoring] But I really love it here.

Maybe Harper can teach me the surf.

Sure, dude.

Mano po, Lola .

You’re so silly.

Only Lily calls me Lola.

But I want to support your Tagalog learning.

Keep it up.

Come on, Anna.

Let’s have a drink.

No, no, no, no. We just…

We have to wait for the surprise guest.

What are you talking about?

Oh, just wait.

Hello, sir. Welcome.

Ah, no, thank you.

I’m here to see someone.

Jake?

[server 2] Just alone or…

What’s he doing here?

I invited him but I didn’t think he’d come.

But, you know, he really likes your gran.

My mom’s gonna freak out, you know that?

I know. So will my dad.

That was the whole point.

[groans] You…

Dr. C. Thank you for inviting me.

I… I saved your number.

I hope that’s okay.

Of course.

Hi, there.

Hey.

Hmm. I think I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

Uh, now?

But, uh, you know, your mom, she really wanted me here.

Right. I’m sure.

[chuckles] Well…

[whispers]

[Anna] Okay.

I got you.

Thank you so much.

[Tess] No, no, no. Wait.

You’re the best, bro.

Wait!

Thank goodness.

[Jake] I will be right back.

[Tess] No. Jake, don’t go.

Ah, Tess. Tess.

Yes?

Uh, can we have a chat later?

It’s regarding Lily.

Oh!

If it’s regarding Lily, we should chat now.

[Harry] My big sister, Anna.

After every atomic wedgie you gave me, I always knew that you also had an atomic heart.

Cheers.

[guests] Cheers!

Anna and I decided we should all stay in LA.

What?

Yes.

What?

Everyone?

Yes.

[Tess stammers] As a therapist, I was hoping to get your thoughts on the best way to approach it with Lily.

But, I know how you feel about billable hours so we can chat later. Yeah?

[Tess] Okay. Okay.

[breathing heavily]

You bloody backstabber.

I know what you did.

Shh!

[Harry] All right, who wants to speak next?

Father of the groom looks ready.

No, no. I have a few choice words for the bride.

I would like to make a toast.

[glass clinking] That’s crystal.

Uh, we have a toasting triangle.

Oh, piss off.

Okay.

I would like to make a toast to your future husband so that he knows what kind of woman he is getting married to.

[chuckles]

He does, he does, he does.

He knows who he’s marrying and he can make his own decisions and he knows not to be manipulated by other people.

Tess.

Hey, gramps, this is between us.

[Anna] Listen to your husband.

[Tess] You listen to me.

[Harper]

Ugh, Ella. What does she want?

Micro cilantro from the foothills of Oaxaca.

It was not my fault.

That micro cilantro is bursting with flavor.

But it is your fault that the cilantro has no loyalty to…

[Lily] What are they doing?

We have to stop them.

Are you doing all right, Harp?

[sighs] Ella, this is the last thing I need.

Oh, Jake’s back already.

Jake? Who?

Jake, what…

What are you doing here?

Uh…

It was all her, I swear.

Hello. Um, and you are?

That’s Anna’s ex-boyfriend.

What? Why?

She invited her ex-boyfriend?

[guests] What?

Because she still has feelings for him.

Okay. That’s not

That…

[Lily] No.

What? I…

No. Uh…

After the appetizer, Anna said she wasn’t feeling well so I went–

Right. I wasn’t feeling well.

Okay, but not from the food here.

The food is fine.

Too fishy. No.

It’s fish.

It is not the food.

She’s just on her period.

That’s all.

She’s on her period.

I’m on mine right now.

I got it.

I didn’t know where you are in your cycle…

I know, dude.

It’s fine. Thanks.

Can someone please explain to me what’s going on here.

I don’t know.

Let’s just tell the truth.

Don’t let her.

She shouldn’t explain anything because she will just lie.

Hey, me?

She lies.

Yeah.

I trusted you.

I know, but you don’t know what he said to me.

You weren’t there.

You didn’t hear it.

I don’t think this marriage should happen.

Well, you know what? It’s not just about what you want.

It’s about what she wants and she wants–

It isn’t ever about what I want.

It’s always about you.

That’s enough.

Does everyone want this?

Okay, that’s enough.

Well, yes. Some of them do.

[dishes clatter] Hey, that’s enough!

The girls fighting is one thing but this is your mum.

And for some reason, your ex-boyfriend is here.

Yeah.

Anna, I love you but you’re clearly having second thoughts.

This isn’t working for our families, and we always said we’d put our families first.

So…

We can’t do this.

I can’t do this.

[sobs]

Lily, help your grandparents.

I’ll meet you at the valet.

The wedding’s off.

[crying] He’s right.

It’s over.

[Anna] Wait, no.

Wait, please, please, please.

No.

I’m so sorry. I promise, I didn’t mean for this to happen.

[whispers] I think you did.

Well.

[crying]

I guess we did it.

Yeah. [chuckles] Uh…

I know this isn’t the best time but can I have my car back?

[scoffs]

Maybe later.

[emotional music plays]

[sighs]

Mom!

She seems upset.

No, she just needs some space.

What about you?

Are you doing okay?

Oh, yeah. I’m always okay.

It would be fair if you weren’t.

That all got pretty crazy.

I worry what will happen when Tess doesn’t have those two to drive her crazy.

You’re worried about her?

I’m worried Tess would be really lonely if all of you moved to London.

[sighs]

You’re a good guy, Ryan.

Thank you. [chuckles] Go on.

Maybe this isn’t for me to fix.

[sighs]

Mind if I join you?

[sniffles]

Okay.

Okay.

[sighs]

Are you okay?

I haven’t seen my dad that upset…

since my mum died.

And it was all my fault.

You know, when Ryan asked me to marry him, I thought a lot about what Anna and Harry’s dad would have said.

How he would have felt about it.

I think he’d be so happy for us.

That we found someone who loved us all so much.

[breathes shakily]

I think my mum would feel the same way.

Yeah.

[sobs] I really miss her.

[cries] I know. It’s okay.

She would be so disappointed in me.

No, no, no.

Yes, she would.

Because I was very selfish.

I was.

No.

I was, and I know it.

No, she’d know your heart.

[sniffles]

I just… I should…

Find my dad…

[Lily] Yeah.

…and

and apologize.

[audience chanting]

Ella, Ella, Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

[Anna] Why are you walking so fast?

I can’t walk as fast as you.

[Harper] Ella keeps texting me the word “urgent,” and her show starts, like, now.

[Anna] But what about Eric?

I think we should go back, Mom.

I thought there was a way to make everyone happy but there’s not, all right?

But I think that we should go back for Eric.

I really should–

Come on. My client needs me.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

Ella, Ella, Ella.

[♪ pop music plays]

♪ You’re my confidant ♪

♪ You’re my underdog ♪

♪ You’re the one I want ♪

♪ ‘Til it’s said and done ♪

♪ Call it delicate

All the benefits ♪

♪ Invisible string

When we separate ♪

Don’t go! Stop the car!

Tess?

Don’t go! Stop the engine!

I’m not.

The engine’s not even on.

♪ You hold it down

When I’m lost and found ♪

♪ Look in my eyes

Be so profound ♪

♪ Don’t need to say a thing

We lose or win ♪

♪ Together, you and me

We got everything ♪

♪ One fine day ♪

♪ Yeah

We’re going there anyway ♪

[Athena] Ella, he loves you!

I love you!

♪ One fine day ♪

Cely, is everything okay?

Yeah, everything’s fine.

Okay.

I wonder what the big emergency was.

♪ Happier happy days ♪

♪ Right where I do belong ♪

Surprise!

What are you doing here?

Ella said you said you missed performing.

I–

And that you told her she could do any song she wanted to.

You did?

Dressing room is right around the corner. Put this on.

Why?

Well, because we’re not 15 anymore.

Dolphins.

Get in there. Okay.

What?

Let me know when she’s ready.

Crazy.

I can’t believe you’re making me do this.

Don’t make fun of my dress.

♪ Night or daylight

Space or timeline ♪

♪ Chase the taillights

You and I ride ♪

♪ Open windows

‘Til the light it burns ♪

[Anna] I’m sorry.

This is all my fault.

Lily and I tried to sabotage you and Eric.

And I tried to make him fall out of love with you, but I couldn’t because he loves you so much.

And Mom, you shouldn’t have to give that up for me.

Just like you gave up being a rock star.

And I know you’ve been secretly writing songs in private.

What?

[Anna]

You know, the one about Jake.

What are you talking about?

[Anna] “I’m your good and I’m your bad ’cause you’re my baby.

And love was made to last.”

Huh?

Harper, that song is not about Jake.

That song is about you.

About me?

Of course it is…

Harp.

[sighs]

Mom, I’m sorry that I said I wanted to stay with Grams if you left.

I’m sorry.

I’m so sorry that I made you think that you had to choose between being together or being at home.

I choose you every time.

Okay.

We gotta go.

Look, we look like a grownup.

Let’s go, let’s go.

Where am I going now?

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go get Lily.

No, no, no, no. Please.

I know I said I didn’t want this wedding to go on, butbut that’s not true.

[sighs] It’s just not.

I…

I was scared.

And… and I think I realized that I didn’t wanna share someone I love.

I appreciate that, Tess.

I do–

But… But wait. But please.

You still love Anna.

You still wanna get married.

I–

Do you?

I–

Do you love her?

I love Anna.

Do you wanna marry her?

I wanna marry Anna.

But then what?

But it’s not about me!

Lily is the most important person in my life.

And I worry every day I’m messing up as a parent.

Okay? I am on my own.

I lost her mum, and I am so scared of losing her.

So I have to put her first.

What if you were right all along?

What if being here with the Colemans is exactly what she needs?

I thought so too.

But after all this, I’m not sure.

[Lily] I am.

[crowd cheering]

I love you so much!

I have a little surprise guest for you.

Give it up for one of my favorite bands, Pink Slip!

[crowd cheering]

No. Why are you guys doing this to me?

[Harper] You all right?

No, no, no.

No, Mom. I don’t know how to play guitar.

It’s all right, okay? I do.

I can’t. No.

This is a bad idea. No, no.

Harper! Harper, go!

No. No. No.

[all] Pink Slip! Pink Slip!

Pink Slip! Pink Slip!

Pink Slip!

My friend is gonna be singing her brand-new song tonight!

Anna.

Mom, you suck.

[cheering fades] [Anna panting]

[gasps]

[Ella] Anna.

Huh?

What are you doing?

Oh.

Oh.

Go like this.

Like what?

Mmmmm.

You got this.

Okay. [chuckles] Yes.

No.

Mmmmm. No.

Yes, you can.

[sighs]

[♪ rock music playing]

[acoustic strumming]

[crowd cheering]

Do you know what?

Wait. Can we– Can we just…

Can we stop for a second?

Sorry. I just…

I wanna bring out the person that I wrote this song for.

She means everything to me, and I love her so much.

I know that family isn’t always easy, but family is everything.

She also plays guitar way better than me. [laughs] So please welcome my daughter, Harper.

[crowd cheering]

Ready to do this? Together?

Yeah.

♪ See you in my dreams ♪

♪ Whenever you go

I tear at the seams ♪

♪ If you think that I’ll leave

Don’t worry ♪

♪ I just keep on coming back ♪

♪ I’m your good

And I’m your bad ♪

♪ ‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

[Eric] What are we doing here?

This is silly.

Anna and I are– Are madly in love. I know.

We tried. We really did.

It’s just not–

No, no, no, no. Please.

Just give us one more chance.

Please.

Just trust us.

I just–

[Anna and Harper singing]

Is… Wait, is that…

Is that Anna?

♪ Only I can ease the pain

‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

♪ Oh, ’cause you’re my baby ♪

Excuse me.

♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪

♪ Are you in your head? ♪

Ella gave me these yesterday.

Come with me.

Come with me. Come on.

♪ …and lay on the bed ♪

♪ I’m trying my best

Believe me ♪

♪ This isn’t the first… ♪

We get to be here.

Yep.

♪ And it won’t

Be the last time ♪

♪ I can’t find the words ♪

♪ But making it work

Ain’t easy ♪

[Tess] Is Ella wearing one of my designs?

It was Anna’s idea.

♪ You can tell me

That you’re scared ♪

♪ And I’ll run my fingers

Through your hair ♪

♪ ‘Cause you come

To say you’re sorry ♪

♪ For the thousandth time ♪

♪ I just keep on coming back ♪

♪ I’m your good

And I’m your bad ♪

♪ ‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

♪ And love was made to last ♪

♪ I’m your sunshine

I’m your rain ♪

♪ Only I can ease the pain

‘Cause you’re my baby ♪

♪ Oh, ’cause you’re my baby

Baby, baby, baby ♪

[music fades]

[crowd cheering] Mom, I’ll always choose you too.

[sniffles] This family is exactly where I belong.

Wait.

[rumbling]

Are you okay?

Yeah.

[rumbling stops]

You sure?

Uhhuh.

[feedback screeches] Okay. All right. Let’s just…

[feedback stops] That’s better.

Okay.

Thank you, Los Angeles.

And Eric, if you’re out there and you’ll still have me, I can’t wait to marry you.

I can’t wait to marry you too!

What?

I said yes!

Okay, well, whatever that was, just get him up here.

Excuse me. [clears throat] Pardon me. Excuse me.

[plays rock guitar riff]

Did you know she could do that?

Not at all.

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

We did it!

Yes! You two did it.

You did it together.

We did.

I know.

Wherever my sister is, it’s where I want to be.

Me too.

♪ Get up, get out, move on

Move on, there’s no doubt ♪

♪ I’m all wrong, you’re right

It’s all the same with you ♪

♪ I’m too thin, too fat

You ask why ♪

♪ So why, so why?

So why, so why? ♪

♪ On and on

And on and on ♪

♪ On and on

And on and on ♪

♪ Don’t wanna grow up

I wanna get out ♪

♪ Hey, take me away ♪

♪ I want to shout out… ♪

It’s him! That’s the guy!

Excuse me.

It’s him!

♪ Away, away, away ♪

No, no, no.

I just need to get down.

They still got it!

Whoo!

♪ I wanna get out

Hey, take me away ♪

♪ I want to shout out

Take me away, away ♪

♪ Away, away, away ♪

No, I just need to get down. Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

♪ Same old story

Same old end ♪

♪ Turn my head… ♪

I can’t believe you just did that.

I know.

So what do you say?

Will you marry me?

[party poppers burst]

[crowd cheering]

One condition.

I’m kissing you early.

[♪ Ashe “Emotional” playing]

♪ No, we… ♪

[crowd continues cheering]

♪ Don’t have ♪

♪ To get emotional ♪

[cheers] [whoops]

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

You’ll never love ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ And you could be

Somebody I need ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

[song fades]

Hi, Jake.

Dr. Coleman.

Oh, this is

this is Bess.

We just met, but, uh, there is something about her.

Yes. Nice dress.

Thank you.

Did you hear that? Nice dress.

She likes your dress.

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

You’ll never love ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ You’ll never love

Somebody like me ♪

♪ And you could be

Somebody I need… ♪

[shop bell dings]

[song fades]

We’ll go somewhere to eat after this.

Thanks for coming, everybody.

I see.

Sure, Mom.

All right.

Here we are.

Whoo!

Wait.

Girls! What did you do?

It’s called lip plumper.

Run.

[gasps] It

It could be worse.

It could be worse, you know.

[Tess] It could not be worse!

I mean… It’s okay.

Just testing out a new look.

[♪ soft rock music playing]

Camera’s A marker.

Hi, everybody.

Welcome to Freakier Friday.

[crew member laughing]

[muffled]

What? Ryan, I’m fine.

I don’t need Benadryl.

[laughs] I can’t…

[Ryan]

It’s so good, you can’t do it.

What?

Huh?

[laughs] What?

That’s the right “bananana.”

No, no, no. Banana.

Banana.

I have Mystery Date.

Truth is, I bet you the dud is very hot now.

I see.

[crew laughing]

Are we talking about a board game?

[crew continues laughing]

[laughing] Jamie just turned around like this.

She was like this.

Mom?

Yes?

[Lohan laughs]

[crew laughing]

[both laughing]

You know, last time…

[laughing]

Okay, I’m locking in.

We have to find her.

But until then

[Lohan]

Until then, what?

[laughing] I don’t know why I keep going… [gasps]

♪ Pissin’ the night away ♪

[crew laughing] [crew member] I can’t. Sorry.

♪ Danny Boy ♪

[crew continues laughing]

[director] Okay, Jamie, reach for the enema box.

[laughs]

Mm. Mmm.

Mmm.

She’s had 29 doughnuts.

[both chuckle] Just give me the doughnut.

You’re prediabetic.

[gasps] What’s that?

Not supposed to eat those.

You learned a lesson. [laughs] My God, I could be a pirate, huh?

[in English accent] Oh, you fancy that?

Put on my jumper, eat my–

[all laugh]

[Julia] I can’t!

You wanna fight?

I can fight too.

Let’s fight!

Oh, my God.

[students chanting]

Let us out!

Let us out!

Do you want to be fired?

It’s a hit.

[laughs]

[horn honks]

Anna Louise Coleman, do you think–

[laughing]

Is that my middle name?

Yes, it is your middle name.

[Anna and Tess screaming]

[Sherry] That’s different.

What’s that?

The pink Power Ranger?

[laughing] I’m kidding.

I’m kidding, I’m kidding.

Let’s not.

Let’s not. Let’s not.

Oh, my God!

[George] What the hell is she?

Was that a Pepto Bismol comm… What is she doing?

Here we are. In the pelvis.

Like peanut butter molasses.

Yes.

Peanut butter molasses.

Slow.

[both laugh] Were any of those teenagers a “Bad Boss Betty”?

No. I’m sorry.

[spits] [Tess] Good. More.

[Lohan laughing]

That really was so bad.

[Jake] What are you doing down there?

Just crawling. [laughs]

[crew laughing]

Look at the road!

[screams] Oh!

I got caught!

[crew member] Cut!

That was fun.

Thank you for watching.

We love you so much.

Thanks for coming.

I think I just peed.

[all laughing]

[crew member] Okay, cut.