Casper (1995)
Director: Brad Silberling
Writers: Joseph Oriolo, Sherri Stoner, Deanna Oliver
Stars: Bill Pullman, Christina Ricci, Cathy Moriarty
Plot: An afterlife therapist and his daughter meet a friendly young ghost when they move into a crumbling mansion in order to rid the premises of wicked spirits.
* * *
Casper (1995) | Transcript
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
(WIND HOWLING)
(WOLF HOWLING)
(BELL CHIMING)
(SHIP’S HORN BLOWING)
Okay.
One picture and we’re history.
That’s what I’m afraid of.
ANDREAS: Come on.
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(EERIE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
NICKY:
Oh, man, do we have to do this?
ANDREAS: You want everyone in school to think we’re chicken?
I could live with that.
You wuss. Come on.
(DOOR CREAKING)
I don’t see anything. Do you?
ANDREAS: No, I don’t see anything.
NICKY: Let’s just take the picture and get out of here.
Fine. Here, take the picture.
Wait, I should be in the picture, too, or no one will believe I was here.
Shut up and take the picture!
You take the picture.
You take it!
You!
CASPER: Guys, don’t fight.
I’ll take the picture.
Say “cheese.”
BOTH: (SCREAMING) A ghost!
(UPBEAT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
“…and to the Save the Dolphins Foundation, $11 million.
“To the Save the Pumas Foundation, $1.2 million.
“To the Patagonian Wasp Salvation Fund, “$1.4 million.
“To the Dyslexic Dalmatians Foundation…”
To hell with the livestock. What did the old stiff leave me?
(CLEARING THROAT)
I believe that what the bereaved is trying to express is that the sudden death of her only father has left a great gaping void in her bank… in her life.
And Carrigan wonders what he has left her to fill it up with.
Let’s see.
“Bobcats, owls, “snakes, “daughter Carrigan, “Whipstaff Manor in Maine.”
And?
And I’m late for lunch, so if you’ll excuse me…
Are you telling me that I just spent the last two days holding his clammy hand waiting for him to kick it, and all I get is one lousy piece of property?
No, it was lousy 50 years ago.
Now it’s condemned. Enjoy.
Wait a minute. This is not fair!
I’ll contest, and then I’ll drag you and all of those damned dolphins into court.
Knock yourself out.
Dibs, this is all your fault.
As usual. If you would have just forged the damn will.
This is condemned seafront property.
Dibs, don’t you get it?
Flipper got more money than me.
Carrigan! The deed’s in there!
My God.
(SUSPENSEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
“Buccaneers and buried gold, “Whipstaff doth a treasure hold.”
Treasure?
Dibs, you idiot! Get it out.
I knew that place was worth something.
There’s treasure in that house and finally, I’m going to get what I deserve.
Carrigan, I think I need a doctor.
There’s plenty in Maine.
(EERIE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
So, what do you think?
I think you’re going to get wet.
(GRUNTING)
Wait! Carrigan!
CARRIGAN: Dibs, light!
What a dump.
This place is fabulous.
You could just do so much with it.
I know it’s a bit spooky.
Dibs.
CASPER: Hello.
Who is it?
CASPER: Afraid I can’t answer that.
CARRIGAN: Why not?
CASPER:
It’s kind of hard to explain.
Is he the caretaker?
Are you the caretaker?
CASPER: No.
Is he a drug dealer?
Is he… Are you a transient?
CASPER: No, not exactly.
Then tell him to show himself.
Show yourself!
CASPER: Here’s the thing. If I do, don’t scream, okay? I get that a lot.
Are you a burglar?
I must warn you that I am armed.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Cut the crap. If you don’t show yourself, I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.
CASPER: Okay, calm down, lady.
Here I come!
Hi! I’m Casper.
No, you shouldn’t do that, or you’ll wake the…
(RUMBLING)
Too late.
(CARRIGAN AND DIBS SCREAMING)
(EERIE MOANING)
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
(GHOSTS CACKLING)
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
So tell me. You have experience?
I have quite a bit of experience. Not, you know, like, exactly doing it, but I’ve studied it, and I’ve talked to people who have done it.
I’ve seen the videos, and I feel very confident that with my knowledge I could do it, no problem.
Then you can handle this?
It’s like no problem whatsoever.
Piece of cake. Piece of crumb cake.
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(RUMBLING)
(EERIE MOANING)
(GHOSTS CACKLING)
Well? How did it go?
It was fine. Was no problem. Piece of cake.
(GHOSTS CACKLING)
Who you gonna call?
Someone else.
What do we do now?
What do I usually do when something stands in my way?
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Are you sure we’re not going a tad overboard here?
Dibs, I have huffed and puffed. Now I want to rip this place down.
I want my treasure. They can’t haunt a pile of rubble, for Christ’s sake.
(GHOSTS CACKLING)
People, please!
You’re sweaty male construction types, for Christ’s sake!
Dibs, do something!
WORKMAN 1:
Come on, get out of there!
WORKMAN 2: Charlie, quick, keep running and don’t look back! Run, Charlie!
CASPER: Wait! They were just kidding! Honest!
Every time.
All I want is a friend.
Did you ever feel the way Priscilla Cow felt that you’d like to be completely different? Almost everybody feels like that once in a while. But most of the time I hope you can be glad to be yourself. That’s really something to celebrate. A ghost! More on the Pentagon playboys as the story unfolds. But, now… step aside, Sigmund Freud.
Jump back, Joyce Brothers. It’s Dr. James Harvey, therapist to the dead? Are you depressed? Are you anxious? Are you lonely? Do you need someone to talk to? No problem, if you’re a ghost!
(EERIE MUSIC PLAYING)
You can call them ghosts if you like, or as I prefer, the living impaired. But the bottom line is, they need help sometimes just like the rest of us.
ANCHOR: After the sudden unexpected death of his wife, Amelia, Dr. Harvey gave up conventional psychiatry and some say conventional sanity. Now, along with his loner daughter, Kat, short for Kathy Doc Harvey travels from town to town, searching for paranoid poltergeists, scared specters, the depressed and the dead.
REPORTER: How do you feel about your father’s livelihood? Please don’t ask me any questions.
REPORTER: Do you believe in ghosts? Ever seen one? Does your father hurt you in any way? He’s my father.
REPORTER: Could you just talk to us? Look, it’s the first day of school and I’m sure I’ll have homework, so could you please…
Carrigan.
(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
CARRIGAN:
What part don’t you understand?
No, not “I ate fish.” I hate fish.
Don’t you people have cows here?
Listen, I have had a long and tiring day.
Do you think that you could bring me a pint of Häagen-Dazs ice cream, rum raisin and a Diet Pepsi? Think you can handle that?
Now you want me to hold. Fine.
HARVEY: …and with therapy they can begin to process this pain. They can pack up their emotional baggage, and they can move on. My Harry passed away five years ago, but he was so miserable. His spirit would not leave the apartment. So I called Dr. Harvey.
He came over and in a few weeks Harry left smiling.
HARVEY: The living-impaired are known for haunting us. My question is, what’s haunting them? It’s a lack of resolution. Ghosts are simply spirits without resolution. With unfinished business. And it’s my job to find out what that is.
TERRY MURPHY: And so Dr. James Harvey continues his work dragging his daughter along for the ride. This week they’re in Santa Fe, but next week, “boo” knows? Now, from the ghost shrink to shrinking…
Yes, I’m still here.
Get me Santa Fe.
(MALE VOCALIST CROONING ON RADIO)
(SINGING ALONG) That’s life! That’s what all the people say You’re ridin’ high in April Shot down in I’m sorry about your Cactus Spooners.
Crooners.
I don’t care what they said, you are not demented.
You’re a picture of mental health.
They were talking about you.
Try explaining afterlife therapy to a bunch of junior high kids.
Some people go through life never questioning the norm.
But you and I, we’re doing something extraordinary with our lives.
No, we aren’t doing anything.
You’re the one who’s been packing up my stuff and moving me around the country.
I mean, in two years, I have been to nine different schools.
I’ve eaten in nine different cafeterias.
I mean, I can’t even remember anyone’s name.
For once, I would just like to be in one place long enough to make a friend.
Honey, you will.
Right.
I mean, come on, we’re moving to Friendship, Maine.
Even I might make one.
You better, Dad, ’cause a single guy your age is more likely to become a bank hostage than to make new friends.
(HARVEY CHUCKLING)
You sound like your mother.
You’re not gonna find her.
Mom’s not a ghost, Dad.
Yes, she is. She has unfinished business.
There’s no such thing as ghosts.
I’ll tell you what you go with me this one last time.
If I don’t find what I’m looking for, then it’s over.
No more moving, no more ghost mining.
You promise?
I promise.
Deal.
(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
It’s not so bad.
If you’re Stephen King.
(HORN HONKING)
Dr. Harvey, hello.
I’m Carrigan Crittenden.
And this is Dibs.
Hello. I’m a close personal friend.
And this is my daughter, Kat.
His close personal daughter.
How nice to meet you, Kat.
Very nice to meet you.
You have a beautiful daughter.
Very beautiful.
We are very happy that you could come all the way to Whipstaff.
Very happy.
The both of us.
You’re kind of hurting my face.
Sorry. Now, Dr. Harvey exactly what kind of time frame are you looking at?
Please tell me you’ll just go in the house and spray and that’s it.
No. As with a traditional psychological cure it can take weeks or even years…
Excuse me!
Did you just say the word “years”?
It’s conceivable.
No, it isn’t. Days is conceivable.
Weeks, maybe.
Possibly.
Months, no. Years, forget it.
Forget it.
Dibs, check.
Get the bouquet. Now, Dr. Harvey I will be watching you very closely.
These are for you.
Have a lovely night.
(DOOR CREAKING)
Wow.
It’s her. She’s here. She’s in my house. I did it!
What if she likes me?
What if she doesn’t?
“Hi, I’m Casper. I’m a ghost.”
No, that’s total disaster.
“Yo, I’m Casper.
What’s up? Give me four.”
God, I’d kill for a pinkie.
See? That was easy.
KAT: Yeah.
Pennies should hold for now but we ought to get a box of 20 amps in the morning.
Right, yeah, 20s should be fine.
All right, I’m gonna go find a room, Dad.
You gonna be all right alone?
If I’m not back in 10 days, send a search party.
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(WIND BLOWING)
KAT: “Stretch” “Fatso” and “Stinkie”?
Man, they had cruel parents.
I wonder where Doc and Dopey sleep.
(MYSTERIOUS INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Dad, I found my room!
There’s a girl on my bed.
Yes!
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)
(HARVEY PANTING)
Space master! In here.
HARVEY: It’s very scary.
Have you seen any surprises yet?
Please. This is the deadest place yet.
This is a nice room.
Right. This place is a freak’s holiday.
(SIGHING)
Mom belongs over here.
How about if I help you unpack?
Why bother? We’ll just be repacking in two weeks anyway, right?
(HARVEY GRUNTING)
I’m kidding.
This place is fine.
Good.
Night, bucket.
Night, Dad.
We’re gonna be glad we came.
You watch.
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(CASPER GRUNTING)
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
Hi.
Man!
Perfect first impression.
What a jerk!
Better?
HARVEY: Honey!
Honey, what?
Dad, I saw a ghost!
It was a real, live ghost!
Slow down. What are you saying?
I saw a ghost.
And it had a head, it was round, it was white and see-through, and…
Wait a minute. Now maybe…
Dad, please.
Do not think I’m as crazy as I thought you were. I promise.
No, but remember, ghosts can’t hurt you, okay?
They’re simply spirits with unfinished business, all right?
Let’s just see about this ghost, all right?
Come here. Come on.
Over here. Check here.
See? No ghost there.
And then we can check over here, all right?
No, there’s no ghost in there.
We can even check over here.
There. See?
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Pleasure to meet you, sir.
Dad, put me down!
This is insane. What are you doing?
I can walk, you know.
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
HARVEY: My God, this is big.
Dad?
What?
We’re in a closet.
Right. Now I want you to stay in here no matter what you hear, okay?
Okay.
Wait!
What?
Dad, I’m sorry.
For what?
For not believing you. For thinking you were a total loser.
Apologize later.
Blew it!
(GHOSTS CACKLING)
Uh-oh.
It’s them.
STRETCH: Giddyup there!
STINKIE: Go, horsie!
(WIND HOWLING)
Man oh, man, them ponies run faster when we go down to Belmont.
Here, Flicka.
Hey, guys. Have fun?
Look, it’s Casper!
Now on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being fun and 1 being you yeah, we had fun.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
Giddy-up there.
Say, Bulbhead, why ain’t you inside doing your chores?
Yeah, where’s dinner? I’m starving.
Look at me, I’m wasting away here.
I know. How about you guys relax out here and tonight we’ll eat alfresco?
Sounds great. Who’s that?
Shortsheet, you wouldn’t be trying to keep us out of the house, would you?
No!
I can see right through that bulbous little head of yours.
It’s just such a lovely night.
I thought we’d have fun just eating under the harvest moon.
(SINGING) Shine on, shine on harvest moon Up in the sky
(YELLING)
ALL: Bye-bye!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Hold it.
Fatso, you smell something?
Yeah.
No, besides him.
HARVEY: Hello?
No need to be afraid.
Yeah, right, don’t be afraid.
I’d like to make contact with you, but just one little thing, please.
Don’t pop out from under a rug or through a keyhole. No spooking.
Let’s get beyond that.
I would like to approach you.
Now I’m coming in the room.
I’m in the room.
Can you deal with that?
(LAUGHING MALICIOUSLY)
Dive!
(GRUNTING)
Dad?
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
I’m gonna kill you, your mama and all her bridge-playing friends.
You think you got it tough? I got a facelift.
There was one just like it underneath.
(SCREAMING)
(ROARING)
KAT: Dad?
Boys, we got a closet case here!
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)
Smellogram!
(YELLING)
STRETCH: Sushi, anyone?
California roll coming up!
(HARVEY MOANING)
All for one and one for all!
Catch your pants before they fall!
FATSO: On the runway, we have Dr. James Harvey wearing smashing underwear.
STINKIE: Marky Mark he’s not!
(ALL YELLING)
You are good.
Stop. It’s you.
Are we scary or what?
And it looks as if we’re gonna go into sudden death overtime.
FATSO:
Anybody for a little shish kedoc?
STRETCH: I am.
(STRETCH SQUEALING)
(STINKIE SCREAMING)
Who do you think you are defiling our domicile?
Dr. James Harvey, your therapist.
Dad!
Are you okay?
(KAT SCREAMING)
Dad.
(STINKIE GRUNTING)
(STINKIE LAUGHING)
STINKIE:
And he’s down for the count.
A winner by a clean stink out!
Get back.
What the hell is that thing?
(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)
STRETCH: Not the nose!
I’m being hosed!
No!
This sucks.
Dad? Are you okay?
I’m fine. Why don’t we go regroup?
STRETCH: Get your hand out of my mouth!
FATSO: I found half a Twinkie!
Who let one?
Who do you think?
Who’s got their pointy head in my…
That’s not my head.
STINKIE: You know, fellas, we’re never this close anymore.
(FLOOR CREAKING)
Morning. No, please don’t scream.
I promise, I won’t hurt you.
I’m a ghost. Yes, I admit it, but I’m a friendly ghost.
You have to trust me. If you scream, you’ll wake up my uncles and they get awfully cranky. I’m gonna let you go now. Okay?
You’re so cold.
Yeah, but it saves in the heating, though.
CASPER: Come on.
It’s okay.
I can see right through you.
It kind of happens when you don’t have any skin.
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
What are you made of?
You know that tingling feeling when your foot falls asleep?
I think I’m made of that.
(BELL DINGS)
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(BELL DINGS)
Sunnyside up kind of makes me yak.
No problem.
So, can you go invisible?
That one’s easy.
It’s fresh.
Go ahead.
I’ve never done this before.
Me, neither.
Can you hurt me?
No.
Can I hurt you?
No.
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Cool.
Morning, Dr. Harvey.
Some breakfast?
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
You okay?
Good.
How about a paper? The New York Times? The Journal? Hong Kong Press?
Sure.
Coming at you.
Hope you’re hungry.
(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)
(EXCITING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(GHOSTLY TRIO HUMMING)
(STRETCH LAUGHING)
I love the smell of fleshies in the morning.
(ALL SNARLING)
ALL: I’m melting.
Auntie Phlegm.
What a world!
(BUBBLING)
(WAILING)
They’re gone.
What happened?
They must have crossed over.
FATSO: Don’t think so!
Guess again, Bonebag!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Fellas. Good morning.
Casper.
How dare you serve these air-sucking intruders before us.
I was just…
Give me my meal!
Okay.
FATSO: I feel like Oprah on hiatus.
STRETCH:
You look like Oprah on hiatus.
Ketchup, please.
STRETCH:
You know what the problem is?
Casper’s got no respect for us.
After all we’ve done for the little glowworm.
What the hell do you think you’re doing, Bulbhead?
This floor used to be dirty enough to eat off of.
But we have company.
Yeah? Company loves misery.
(GHOSTLY TRIO LAUGHING)
You guys are disgusting, obnoxious creeps.
ALL: Thank you.
I mean, what’s your problem?
He’s just cleaning the floor.
Shut up, Skinbag.
Piss off.
Take a hike.
Get a grave.
HARVEY: Honey!
…school thing and you don’t want to be late…
Drop dead!
STRETCH: Too late!
You go have a lot of fun.
I know you will.
All right, guys, we’ve obviously gotten off on the wrong foot here.
Now, you know and I know that you really shouldn’t be here.
So I’ll tell you what.
Why don’t you go ahead and finish your meal and we can meet in my office and start the process of crossing over.
What do you say?
(GHOSTLY TRIO LAUGHING)
It’s your hour.
(TRANQUIL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)
AMBER: Watch it!
Amber, wait up!
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
Had that locker last year.
Thanks.
My name’s Vic.
Kat.
Coming, Vic?
MR. CURTIS:
Okay, gang, let’s settle down!
Put a lid on it!
I got a couple of announcements to make.
First. The asbestos removal from the gym is taking a little longer than planned.
So we’re gonna have to push back the Halloween Dance just by a couple of months.
(ALL GROANING)
As most of you know, my parents have finished the new boathouse.
So I’m sure it’d be no problem having the party at my place.
Great. That’s done.
Secondly, we have a new student today.
I’d like you all to meet Harvey Kathleen.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Would you like to come up and say hi to everyone for me?
(ALL LAUGHING)
Why don’t you tell us something special about yourself, Kathleen?
It’s Kat.
(MEOWS)
I guess I just moved here with my dad from Santa Fe and Friendship seems like a pretty friendly place.
(STUDENT MAKES SNORING NOISE)
MR. CURTIS:
So where are you guys living?
AMBER: In outer space?
No. Whipstaff.
You’ve heard of it.
You actually live there?
KAT: Yeah, I mean…
I know it looks kind of funky and stuff from the outside and everything but, I mean… I don’t know, inside it’s kind of cool.
Yeah, if you drink blood.
Mr. Curtis, check this. We’re dead for the Halloween Dance, right?
This girl has a seriously creepy house with room to spare.
Wait a minute. I thought we were having the party at my place.
Okay, we’ll take a vote.
Whoever wants the party at my house, raise your hand.
Whipstaff?
(ALL CHEERING)
(BELL RINGING)
FATSO: “Johns Hopkins University.” Very impressive.
STRETCH: Very.
STINKIE: Pull!
(GUN FIRING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Not this one.
Thank you, gentlemen.
What a dish, Doc.
The little missus, perhaps?
(HOWLING)
Fatso, you animal!
Is she available, Doc?
She’s my wife, Amelia.
She’s deceased.
Even better.
But we’re not here to talk about me.
See? Now don’t you feel just awful?
I was just goofing.
Don’t be goofing on Amelia.
She’s as nice a person as they come.
She’s always treated you right, Stinkie.
STINKIE: I got no complaints.
She’s always been an angel to me.
Wait a minute. What are you saying?
STRETCH: I’m saying she’s a peach. None better. Why?
You’ve actually seen her?
What, you think I’m blind?
Of course, I’ve seen her.
Who hasn’t?
What, you’re not looking for her, are you, Doc?
That’s not really the focus of our sessions here, is it?
But as long as you raise the issue you wouldn’t have a way of contacting others like yourselves would you?
I didn’t think so.
Now that’s not generally allowed there, Doc.
STRETCH: I mean, you got to go through channels.
Yeah, paperwork.
Red tape.
A holy mess, you know what I’m saying?
But for you, I don’t know, maybe we could work something out.
You keep that ghoul Crittenden off our backs and I’d say we got a deal. Right, boys?
(MURMURING AGREEMENT)
Deal?
Deal.
Fatso, you know where Amelia floats. Go.
It’s that easy, huh?
We got a ghost-to-ghost network.
We share haunting stories.
We throw parties.
The parties are always pretty dead, though.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
That was fast.
I think it’s for you, Doc.
BOTH: Go.
Amelia?
My man!
What are you doing… I mean, hi.
Can I come in?
No. It’s so much nicer out here in the flesh… Fresh air.
So did you ask your dad about the party?
Yeah.
He kind of hit the ceiling, but I think it’s gonna be okay.
Cool. So listen if you’re not hooked up with anybody else, you wanna… I don’t know you wanna hang out with me at the party?
I’d love to.
All right. Cool.
All right, see you.
Okay.
Well, did you ask her?
Yeah.
And she actually believed you.
This really bites.
No, it’s absolutely perfect.
(FAINT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
See? I’m a good dancer.
I don’t need a costume.
I’m always the life of the party.
Casper! Listen, I know you want to go.
Come on, we’d have a great time together.
Casper, I have a date.
What’s this Vic guy got that I don’t?
A pulse.
Big fleshy deal.
A tan.
Very bad for your skin.
How about a reflection?
Okay, but can he do this?
(WITH AUSTRIAN ACCENT)
Come with me if you want to live.
Casper, no. Don’t!
(KAT SCREAMING)
Casper, no. Oh, my God.
High, this is very high!
Casper!
(TRANQUIL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
KAT: Casper, this is beautiful.
CASPER: I come here every night.
Alone?
What were you like when you were alive?
I was…
I don’t remember.
You don’t remember anything from your life?
No.
So, nothing?
You don’t remember what school you went to?
How old you were?
Your favorite song?
What about your dad?
Not even your mom?
Is that bad?
No. It’s just kind of sad.
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
I wonder why you don’t remember anything.
Guess ’cause when you’re a ghost life doesn’t matter that much anymore.
So you forget.
Sometimes I worry that I’m starting to forget.
Forget what?
My mom.
Just certain things.
The sound of her making breakfast downstairs.
The way she put on her lipstick, so carefully.
I do remember.
She always used Ivory soap.
And when she’d hug me, I’d breathe her in so deep and I remember, before I’d go to sleep she’d whisper in my ear, “Stardust in the eyes, rosy cheeks, “and a happy girl in the morning.”
If my mom’s a ghost, did she forget about me?
No. She’d never forget you.
If I were alive would you go to the Halloween Dance with me?
Can I keep you?
(SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Casper, close the window. It’s cold.
Hey, Dad.
I found your Visa card.
Where was it?
In your wallet. I was thinking, maybe I could use it to buy this perfect costume I saw in a store downtown.
You always made your costume.
No, Mom did.
I think I could come up with something pretty good.
Why don’t we just roll you in aluminum foil and you could go as a leftover?
Don’t worry. You always look cute.
I don’t wanna look cute. Cute’s like when you’re nine years old and you’ve got papiermâché around your head.
I wanna look nice.
Like date nice.
Really?
Honey, you know, I think maybe it’s time that we sat down…
It’s a little late for that, Dad.
How late?
Don’t worry, not that late.
Good.
You know that I would love to buy you everything that you wanted but until Miss Crittenden pays me, that thing is pretty worthless.
That’s okay. Don’t worry about it.
I’m sure I can come up with something perfect for the party.
GHOSTLY TRIO: (SINGING) It’s my party, and I’ll die if I want to Die if I want to
(GHOSTLY TRIO CACKLING)
Dad, please.
Whatever you do, don’t let those guys crash it.
I think they’re actually getting to be quite focused now.
(GHOSTLY TRIO LAUGHING)
GHOSTLY TRIO: (SINGING) You will die, too, when it happens to you–
FATSO: Big finish.
STRETCH: Scream or sugar?
(GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
STRETCH:
The patient has finally arrived.
Late again, I see.
Could this be an expression of hostility, Doc?
FATSO: It’s your hour, Freud.
What, so silent? No pearls of wisdom today, Doc?
Come on, Doc. Stay tough, don’t stop.
Come on, Doc, hang with us homeboys. Wait a second.
What? You ain’t thinking about packing it in now, are you, Doc?
We’re just starting to have fun.
It ain’t often we meet a bone-bag as amusing as you.
Boys, this is serious.
I think the doc is having one of them fleshy breakdowns.
STRETCH: Time for drastic measures.
FATSO:
You think we should sing a song?
No. I think it’s time we gave the doc our own prescription.
But what about the party?
The party’ll have to wait.
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Gentlemen.
Happy hour.
Happy hour.
ALL: (SINGING) Ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of beer–
FATSO: Here’s to dead guys!
This is an outrage.
This is appalling.
You pay a man to get ghosts out of the house and what does he do?
He gets the ghosts out of the house.
Exactly.
It’s about time.
(CHEERFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Look familiar?
I know this!
I had five fingers. I remember.
(TOY TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
Hootie!
And wait!
Check it out.
Hands up, Kat!
It was my mom’s.
Can I?
Go ahead.
It’s perfect. Do you think I could wear it to the party tonight?
Casper?
I begged and begged my dad to get me this sled.
He acted like I couldn’t even have it ’cause I didn’t know how to ride it.
Then one morning I came down for breakfast and there it was, just for me.
For no reason at all.
I took it out and went sledding all day.
My dad said that’s enough but I couldn’t stop. I was having so much fun.
Then it got late, it got dark.
It got cold and I got sick.
My dad got sad.
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
What’s it like to die?
Like being born.
Only backwards.
I remember, I didn’t go where I was supposed to go.
I just stayed behind so my dad wouldn’t be lonely.
Is that your dad?
“McFadden claimed that he was haunted by the ghost of his dead son “and that he invented a machine to bring him back to life…
BOTH: “The Lazarus.”
Sorry. I guess we’ll have to take the long way.
Hurry up! Come on!
My dad hid it so no one could find it.
But I remember where it is!
Wait till you see it.
(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Don’t you know a shortcut?
You got it.
Casper, no.
Wall! Human! Stop!
Hey, over here.
Go ahead. Sit down.
I would hold on.
Why?
Casper!
(SCREAMING)
(SIREN WAILING)
(BELL RINGING)
(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(EERIE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Well?
What was that?
The “Up and At ‘Em Machine.”
My dad was a great inventor but he had trouble getting going in the morning.
Didn’t he ever hear of caffeine?
(YELLING)
What is all this?
My dad’s lab.
Kind of a slob, wasn’t he?
Here, he could do whatever he wanted to. No matter how busy he was he would drop everything to play pirates with me.
Man, we had so much fun!
Aye, matey. Buccaneers and buried gold.
Whipstaff doth a treasure hold.
Come on.
So where’s this Lazarus thing?
CASPER: You’re looking at it.
Down there?
That’s useful.
I know there’s a way to get it going.
I just can’t…
What about that?
That?
That’s the vault.
Wait! It’s got to be this!
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(GRUNTING)
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Hey, I did it!
Lazarus.
(DIBS GRUNTING)
What is this?
Careful!
That’s what makes the whole thing work.
Kind of an instant primordial soup mix.
It’s what brings ghosts back to life.
Just enough for one.
Pull the lever.
Which one?
I don’t know. Try one.
(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Casper.
I’m gonna be alive.
How am I gonna do this?
I couldn’t even get my Easy Bake oven to work.
(RUMBLING)
(HORN HOOTING)
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Casper?
Am I alive?
Do you have any idea what this means?
Yes!
No.
You don’t have to be scared of death anymore.
One minute you’re a ghost next you’re back on your feet free to come and go as you please.
Hell, you could even fly through…
Walls!
Thick walls.
Thick as steel.
Certainly could get to whatever’s behind those walls.
Like a treasure, for example?
Then snap, crackle, pop, you’re back alive and on your way to the Riviera.
If you were a ghost.
If you were.
(DIBS YELLING)
Damn it, Dibs.
This won’t hurt a bit.
CARRIGAN: Stop being such a weenie!
It’s just business. Come on!
If you would just…
(YELLING)
DIBS: So there you are.
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
Dibs, you’re taking this way too personally.
(GROANING)
Wait!
(CARRIGAN SCREAMS)
DIBS: Carrigan?
Are you a ghost yet?
Carrigan!
(OWL HOOTING)
What a tragic waste.
She had my favorite sunglasses.
CARRIGAN: Not so fast, little man.
The bitch is back.
(SINGING) Warden threw a party at the county jail The prison band was there and they began to wail The band was playin’ hard the joint began to swing You shoulda heard those knocked out jailbirds sing Let’s rock
This Dr. Harvey’s got a lot of spirit, you know what I’m saying?
Yeah, but he’s got his whole miserable life ahead of him.
So we could do him a favor and put him out of his misery.
Yeah. Good idea.
We’ve been the ghostly trio long enough.
Time to make it a quartet.
(ROCK ‘N’ ROLL MUSIC CONTINUES)
(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
Can I just say something here?
Get a little personal?
Yeah. Why not?
Well, you know.
I just got to tell you you guys remind me of what it’s like to hang out with the boys.
I mean you are absolutely there for each other.
I mean you look like right in the face.
You say, “I’m a ghost.
I don’t need you.”
You know what?
I’m gonna tell that Miss Critten Picken…
Crichton Critten.
I’m gonna tell that lady you ain’t going anywhere.
It’s your house.
You’re haunting it.
Possession is nine-tenths of the law…
ALL: No.
Yes.
ALL: No.
Yes.
I didn’t think so at first but you guys are great.
I love you.
(SPUTTERING)
No.
(GHOSTLY TRIO SOBBING)
What a sweetheart.
I can’t croak him now.
Me, neither. No way.
All right, boys.
The night is young.
We are going to clean out every bar this town has got!
We’re gonna booze it until we lose it.
Come on.
(HARVEY YELLING)
(CRASHING)
(COMICAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
I think my ears just popped.
(CARRIGAN LAUGHING)
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
CARRIGAN: Come to mama!
My treasure!
You mean my treasure.
Miss Crittenden?
In the flesh.
Well, in a couple of minutes.
(LAUGHING)
Dibs! What are you doing?
This is no time to shave!
Helping you. Remember?
Remember what?
This!
You stole that. That’s Casper’s.
So sue me!
Dibs! The capsule, now!
Coming. I’m coming, okay?
Keep away from me!
Here!
Jump in!
(DOORBELL CHIMING)
Perfect.
We’re here.
Okay.
Hi. Come on in.
This is the room.
Stay together, you’ll be safe, and I’ll be right back.
Amber, do we have to do this?
She wants a Halloween party.
She’s gonna get a Halloween party.
(CARRIGAN LAUGHING)
That’s my treasure!
Stay back! Keep away from me!
Casper.
Don’t come near me, you spiteful spook.
I’ll knock you into the next world!
Come on. Let’s go.
Hey, Poppin Fresh.
It’s my turn in the oven!
Dibs! Get this thing cooking, you flaccid little worm, you!
(SINISTER INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
How kind of you to drop in.
You know, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you it’s always kick them when they’re down.
And, baby, you’re six feet under.
Oh, what a shame.
Sorry, sweetheart.
We’re through.
I am not gonna forget this, you ungrateful lousy little worm, you!
You can haunt me all you want but it’s gonna be in a great, big, expensive house with lovely purple wallpaper and great big green carpets.
And a little dog called Carrigan.
A bitch, just like you!
I got the power!
I got the treasure!
And you have a flight to catch.
Any other takers?
No. But aren’t you forgetting something?
What?
Your unfinished business.
My what?
You know unfinished business.
All ghosts have unfinished business.
That’s why they don’t cross over.
Unfinished business? I have no unfinished business.
I have my treasure, my mansion.
I have everything!
I’m just perfect!
CARRIGAN: Wait, I lied!
I have unfinished business.
Lots of unfinished business.
I’m not ready to cross over yet!
Wait! You tricked me, you rotten little brats!
No!
My treasure!
A ball? That’s your treasure?
Are you kidding?
It’s autographed by Duke Snider of the Brooklyn Dodgers.
My favorite player.
Casper it’s time.
HARVEY: Honey, I’m home!
Dad?
No. What have you done to him?
Nothing. He’s just a little dead.
I’m free!
I’ve never felt so good in my life!
I can fly!
Rookie.
Stinkie, work with him.
Dad?
Who’s the girl?
Dad, it’s me. It’s Kat!
Kat?
Kat Ballou?
Katatonic?
Katastrophic?
Kreplach soup?
Flash flood alert.
Don’t you remember?
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Yeah, I remember!
No, this.
Kat.
Sweetheart.
What have I done?
Kat, don’t cry.
Please.
Come on, Dr. Harvey. You need this more than I do.
Casper.
This is the way it’s got to be.
(HORN HOOTING)
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
KAT: Dad?
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Honey.
It felt like the strangest dream.
I thought we almost lost each other for a minute there.
Oh, bucket.
Your party started without you.
Your date’s probably waiting.
Maybe we should get going.
Where are we?
(RAP MUSIC PLAYING)
(CHILDREN CHATTERING)
Well, go ahead.
What about you?
This is your party.
Go do your thing.
Go hang or chill or kick it, or whatever you call it.
I think you got a date out there.
Thanks, Dad.
I hope no one saw that.
AMBER: Hold still.
VIC: I’m trying. Could you weigh any more?
Just shut up and get your head down.
You got to see this.
People are gonna freak.
Let me see.
Cool.
Thank you.
(TOY TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS)
(PEACEFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(ENCHANTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
(GASPS)
You’re…
That’s right.
Kat’s mom?
Are you an angel?
That was a very noble thing you did tonight, Casper.
I know Kat will never forget it.
She needs her father.
And I know yours will never forget it either.
You’ve fulfilled his greatest dream, Casper and I know he is very proud of you.
And for what you’ve done I’m giving you your dream in return.
But it’s just for tonight.
Sort of a Cinderella deal.
So I have until midnight?
Ten.
Hey! Cinderella got until midnight.
Cinderella wasn’t 12 years old.
(SENTIMENTAL POP SONG PLAYING)
I told you I was a good dancer.
Can I keep you?
Casper?
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Hello, James.
Amelia.
It’s all right.
It’s just me.
I thought I’d have a hundred things to say when I…
How?
Let’s just say you know three crazy ghosts who kept their word.
James, I know you’ve been searching for me.
But there’s something you have to understand.
You and Kat loved me so well when I was alive that I have no unfinished business.
Please don’t let me be yours.
But, Amelia I don’t…
I don’t really know what I’m doing.
What parent does?
James, Kat is growing up beautifully because of you.
No wonder I miss you so much.
Just a couple of things, though.
Don’t pick up the extension every time she gets a phone call.
French fries are not a breakfast food.
And don’t ask her to wear a T-shirt under…
Under her bathing suit.
I know.
Our daughter is a teenager.
A teenager.
(CLOCK CHIMING)
Wait.
Where are you going?
Where I can watch over both of you until we’re together again.
Goodbye, James.
(SENTIMENTAL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
Casper?
(ALL GASP)
Boo?
(ALL SCREAMING)
Not bad for my first party, huh?
Couldn’t have been better.
It ain’t over yet.
Boys?
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SINGING) Casper the friendly ghost The friendliest ghost you know Though grownups might look at him in fright The children all love him so Casper the friendly ghost He couldn’t be bad or mean You know, he jump and play Sing and dance all day The friendliest ghost you’ve ever seen He always say “Hello” And he’s really glad to meet ya Wherever he may go You know, he’s kind to every living creature Grownups don’t understand Why children all love him the most But kids all know that he loves them so Casper the friendly ghost Casper, your friendly Your friendly He always say “Hello” He’s always glad to meet ya Wherever he may go He’s kind to every living creature Grownups don’t understand Why children all love him the most But kids all know he loves them so Casper the friendly ghost
(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)
