Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Director: Eli Roth
Writers: Eli Roth, Joe Crombie
Stars: Ariana Greenblatt, Édgar Ramírez, Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Jamie Lee Curtis, Florian Munteanu, Gina Gershon
* * *
Transcript
WOMAN: Long ago, our galaxy was ruled by an alien race called the Eridians whose power and technology were far beyond human comprehension.
Though they disappeared ages ago, they left behind fragments of their technology, scraps that became the foundation for all human advancement.
But the Eridians’ greatest secrets were hidden in a vault located on the planet Pandora.
The once peaceful world was overrun by corporations, criminals, and treasure seekers…
MAN: Guns, guns, guns!
WOMAN: …fighting and killing one another for a chance to find the vault.
But it remained hidden.
Then, amidst the clouds of chaos, a glimmer of hope shone through.
A prophecy.
That one day, a daughter of Eridia would open the vault and restore order to the broken planet.
Yeah.
That sounds like some wacko B.S., right?
Well, I thought so too, until… this mess happened.
(RUMBLING)
(ALARM BLARING)
(MUFFLED SHOUTING)
(RAPID GUNFIRE)
GUARD 1: There he is!
GUARD 2: Stop!
(ALARM CONTINUES BLARING)
(DOOR CLANGS LOUDLY)
(GASPS)
(METAL STRAINING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SIGHS)
ROLAND: God damn!
There’s no air holes in there.
(EXHALES) What a stupid helmet.
Tina.
Hey.
(EXHALES)
I’m Roland.
Yeah. There’s been some, uh…
There’s been some trouble.
And Atlas,
he sent me to bring you to safety.
My dad sent you?
That’s right.
His shortest soldier?
Yeah, his shortest soldier to save his least funny daughter.
AUTOMATED VOICE: (OVER PA) Code three security breach.
The station is in lockdown.
All personnel must shelter in place.
Okay, let’s go.
Hey, hey, hey!
Let’s slow down.
GUARD 3: Target in sight!
(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on. Come on.
GUARD 3: Stop!
(ALL GRUNTING)
Stay down!
Oh, God.
No, no!
(GRUNTS)
ROLAND: Catch.
Fake stormtrooperass bitch.
Come here.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Code three security breach.
Come on. Come on.
The station is now in lockdown.
Wait, I changed my mind. Take me back to my cell.
Please.
Come on.
GUARD 4: Holy shit! One of the Psychos got out.
PRISONER: It’s time to go insane!
(GUARDS GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
PRISONER: You’re in my spot. (GRUNTS)
Put him down. Put him down.
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
ROLAND: Hey, easy.
What do you, uh…
What do you say me and you be friends?
(SOFTLY) Shit.
(GROANS)
Sorry, Knoxx.
PRISONER: My girl.
(GRUNTS)
TINY TINA: Krieg, what’s up, man?
You want some pancakes?
KRIEG: My girl broken.
ROLAND: It’s Krieg, right?
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
Yeah.
What do you say you help me get her outta here?
(GRUNTS AFFIRMATIVELY)
Yeah.
(HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW? BY THE HEAVY PLAYING)
WOMAN: Of course, we can’t all be the daughter of Eridia, skipping down the path of destiny.
Some of us have to work for a living.
PRISONER: You don’t have to do this, you know.
I mean, I can pay you.
Yeah, whatever’s in my wallet right now, it’s yours.
Okay?
WOMAN: Shut up or I’ll break your other arm.
PRISONER: Oh, no, one arm’s good.
That’s fine.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(PRISONER GRUNTS)
WOMAN: ‘Sup?
Sorry.
Quinn.
Lilith.
We do have other seats, you know.
Then he won’t have any trouble finding one.
Uh, not tonight.
(KNOCKS ON TABLE) Top shelf.
(TRILLING)
Not sure how top you think the shelves are.
Eh, buy your kid some dance lessons.
Hot date?
You remember that heist down in Lectra City last month?
Yeah, a couple of guards died.
Yeah, well, this sad sack was the trigger man.
Listen, I never meant to shoot anyone.
I was… (GRUNTS)
I’m getting too old for this shit.
Bounty hunting? Uh.
It’s for the young and stupid. Am I right?
You really want me to answer that?
I do not.
Lilith.
Piss off.
(CHUCKLES)
I heard you were quite the crusty old…
(GROANS)
Wait. Wait, wait.
We, uh, maybe got off on the wrong foot.
You see, um…
(EXHALES)
I represent a very wealthy man who has a contract for you.
I’ve got a job.
Maybe next month.
MAN 1: You collect on that scum dead or alive, right?
QUINN: Hey.
Not in here, big boy.
We don’t want any trouble.
It’s just, uh, our employer is, uh, not one for waiting.
Who is?
(PATRONS CLAMORING)
(MAN GROANS, THUDS)
Are you with these assholes?
Or are you just a fan of violence?
These gentlemen work
or should I say “worked” for me?
(GROANS)
(LILITH SIGHS)
QUINN: I’ll get Kimber to clean this up.
Thanks, Quinn.
(ELECTRONIC STATIC)
MAN 2: (OVER HOLOGRAM) That was impressive.
I warned them not to underestimate you.
My name is Deukalian Atlas.
And, uh…
Hold on.
(CHUCKLES) This is…
This is rather awkward.
Hey, you there.
Fat boy.
Put me on.
(STUTTERS) But she just killed Frank and Wes.
But she would never shoot a man of your caliber.
(AMBIGUOUSLY) Mm.
As I was saying…
(SOFTLY) Start walking.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) My name is Deukalian Atlas.
President of the…
The Atlas Corporation?
Clue’s in the name.
Look, uh, this has been a really long day.
Can we just skip to,
I don’t know, whatever this is?
ATLAS: Of course.
My daughter has been kidnapped,
and I need her returned to me.
Bounty hunter, not babysitter.
Haven’t you got some toy soldiers you can send?
Yes, the Crimson Lance.
Unfortunately, the kidnapper is one of them.
I need an outsider.
Someone who knows how to handle a planet
full of Psychos, skags, and vault hunters
like they were born there.
Your daughter’s on Pandora?
(SIGHS) Thoughts and prayers.
But you couldn’t pay me enough
to set foot on that shithole again.
Are you sure about that?
(BEEPS)
Oh.
Maybe you could.
Okay, I’ll start when my current contract ends.
(PRISONER GROANS)
(BODY THUDS)
(LILITH SIGHS)
ATLAS: Seems like you’re free to start immediately.
Give her the beacon.
Activate this device when you find my daughter and my people will retrieve her.
You haven’t disappointed so far, Lilith.
I advise you not to start.
(SOFTLY) Sorry.
Oh, shit.
(CREATURE SHRIEKS)
(POD ENGINES ROARING)
(POD POWERING DOWN)
(LILITH GRUTS)
(METAL CLANGING)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Thank you for flying Atlas transport pods.
You’ve arrived at your destination.
Pandora.
LILITH: Let me tell you everything you need to know about Pandora.
(CREATURE PANTING)
(GUNSHOT)
(WHINES)
It’s a shithole.
I should know. I’m from here.
God, I hate this planet.
It’s the kind of place you don’t ever wanna return to.
So, the sooner I find the girl, the sooner I can get the hell outta here.
The soldier had hijacked one of Atlas’ shuttles and crashlanded here months ago.
There wasn’t much left of it.
It’d been stripped for parts and vandalized by vault hunters.
No way to know if he and Tina even survived.
Wanna know if you’ve seen her.
But then I spoke to some locals.
Scavenger kids barely scraping out a living.
They told me Tina and the soldier had passed through weeks ago heading north towards Fyrestone.
Then I ran into some other locals.
(HOLLERING) Run!
LILITH: Psychos. Murderous gangs.
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMING)
It was time to catch a ride and head north.
(JINGLE PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
MAN: Hello, vault hunter.
Need a ride?
Yeah, I’m not a vault hunter, but…
Then welcome aboard.
People inside, bags up top.
Don’t need any explosives going pop.
That is a mess to clean up, believe me.
(MAN LAUGHS)
(SIGHS)
Hello, passenger.
My name is Marcus.
But of course, you’re not here for small talk.
You are here to find the vault.
Uh, you can stop there.
Not a vault hunter.
Just need a ride.
If you say so. (LAUGHS)
(AD JINGLE PLAYING ON SCREEN)
Well, hello, brave vault hunter.
So, you’ve come in search of the secret lost vault of the Eridians, right here on Pandora!
Do you want to be rich beyond your wildest dreams?
First, you must find the keys, then the vault itself, but it won’t be easy.
Could you turn this shit off?
Not a vault hunter.
No can do.
This bus is for transporting vault hunters, so…
(ON SCREEN) Will you be the one to find the vault?
Ancient alien treasure filled with hightech secrets…
Pandora is a dangerous place, so you need superior firepower.
Prepare yourself with one of Marcus’ munitions.
MARCUS: Next stop, Fyrestone, where all vault hunters begin.
LILITH: Uh, no.
Really, I am not…
(GEAR LEVER CRANKS)
(BRAKES SCREECH)
Thanks.
Good luck, vault hunter.
I hope you find what you’re searching for.
(LAUGHS)
(JINGLE PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
(SIGHS)
(SLOW DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRAVEL SHIFTING)
LILITH: Two weeks on the trail, and it was as cold as Pandora’s moons.
Tina and the soldier were long gone.
I needed a miracle, but I got something else.
(CREATURE CHITTERING)
(METAL CLANGS)
MALE VOICE: My eye!
You shot me in my eye!
You blinded me for life!
How will I manage to survive?
I’m just kidding!
I was designed to withstand all kinds of violent acts, even completely unjustified ones like yours.
Now, I bet you’re wondering,
what’s the deal with this thing?
Uh, no, I’m not.
I’m programmed for humor, so I will process that as “witty banter.”
Beat it.
I’m a Hyperion brand CL4PTP, possibly the last of my kind still in service.
But you can call me…
Whoopsie! Ha!
You accidentally shot me in the face again.
As I was saying, you can call me Claptrap.
(GUNSHOT)
You know, I can do this all night,
so piss off.
CLAPTRAP: Believe me, I wish I could based on what little I’ve experienced of your horrendous personality.
But I have no choice.
What do you mean?
Did Atlas send you?
Atlas? Yuck!
I don’t work for the competition.
No, I’ve been lying dormant under a garbage heap
for… calculating… 36 years!
But the moment you landed on Pandora,
I was reactivated
because I’ve been programmed to help you upon your return!
No one knew I was coming here.
Not even me.
Who programmed you?
I don’t know!
Which is a shame, because you’re an awful person
and I’d love to know who to blame for this.
Since I don’t, I have no choice but to serve you
until you’re dead.
Did that sound like a threat? Sorry.
Anyway, as long as you’re not dead,
I’m here to help.
Oh.
And I have many skills.
Balancing.
Turning in circles.
I don’t need a partner.
Uh, I can also access the ECHOnet.
Did you say “ECHOnet”?
Can you use it to find someone?
Of course. Just show me a picture.
I’ll hack and search
its slowly dying visual banks for matches
and find your target’s last known location.
Find her.
She was last seen outside Fyrestone.
Accessing network.
♪ Scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
♪ Scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
♪ Scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
♪ Scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
Could you do it without the singing?
Yes!
♪ Scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
Done!
Your target was last recorded
near an abandoned quarry in the Tundra Express!
It’s only 132 days on foot
with a 98% chance of being eaten by a Craw maggot!
I like those odds!
We’re gonna need some wheels.
That’s the Crimson Lance, Atlas’ private army.
What are they doing here?
Oh, just a guess here.
Exactly the same thing you’re doing.
LILITH: And the Lance teaming up with the Psychos?
CLAPTRAP: It seems like Atlas will hire
just about anyone to find his daughter.
LILITH: Concentrating. CLAPTRAP: Sorry.
Huh. The Lance are leaving.
I guess they didn’t find her.
PSYCHO: No more Mommy! (LAUGHING)
Free lunch! Hot delivery!
(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING)
Huh?
(GRUNTS)
(SCAVENGER KIDS CLAMORING)
That was so out of character to save those children.
Well, I needed a ride.
For a second there,
I thought you weren’t a horrible person.
Phew! The world makes sense again.
Now, there’s only room for one up front,
but worry not.
I can sit on your lap.
Lilith!
You accidentally locked me in the back!
Lilith!
(CREATURE SHRIEKS)
(THRILLING MUSIC CONTINUES)
Please drain my battery.
Put me back to sleep.
I won’t tell.
You said you wanted to help.
I said I’m programmed to help.
What I want to do is wipe my memory,
you horrendous shedevil.
Are you sure these are the right coordinates?
Yes. This is the last known location of your quarry.
Get it? (LAUGHING)
But it looks like she’s long gone by now.
Does it?
(METAL CREAKING)
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
You know, it’s quite a menagerie you’ve got here.
You could start your own Pandoran zoo.
You must be Tina.
Name’s Lilith.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
So, that soldier…
who brought you here,
is he playing hideandseek, too?
He left me.
I haven’t seen him in days.
Well, I’m here to take you home
to your father.
Yeah, he seems like a real, uh, sweetheart.
TINY TINA: What? My daddy?
I get to see my daddy?
Really?
I’ve been so afraid.
Yeah.
TINY TINA: I’ve been scared.
Speaking of your daddy…
TINY TINA: The noises outside really freaked me out.
I’ve just gotta let him know that I got you safe…
TINY TINA: I should probably get my stuff.
LILITH: Shit.
TINY TINA: I really love my daddy.
He’s such a nurturing parental figure.
Sure, I’ll have to take your word for it.
Miss Lilith,
can you grab my Badonkadonk?
Your what now?
(TOY LAUGHS, BEEPS)
You little…
(GRUNTS)
TINY TINA: I love it when bounty hunters drop by.
Time to make it rain…
with your body parts.
(TINY TINA LAUGHS)
(LILITH GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
TINY TINA: Hey.
You still alive down there?
CLAPTRAP: She seems deranged.
You two have a lot in common.
Only she’s smaller, nicer, cuter.
Hope that wasn’t something important.
Fix this.
CLAPTRAP: Because, whoo, it’s toast.
(TINY TINA VOCALIZES OPERATICALLY)
TINY TINA: Where’d you go?
LILITH: Tina.
Look, I… I’m here to save you.
TINY TINA: Do I look like I need saving?
‘Cause I’m up here
and you’re all hiding under a car.
Like a bitch!
You get down here right now.
(IN SINGSONG VOICE) Oh, Krieg!
(RHYTHMIC HORN BLARES)
This fancyass woman
just pointed a gun at your best friend.
KRIEG: I will lick your spine clean.
Holed up with Psychos?
He only used to be a Psycho.
Now he’s my big brother!
CLAPTRAP: How sweet.
One of you kill the other, I’m gonna go get a coffee.
(KRIEG GRUNTING)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(LILITH GASPS)
Tell her what she’s won, Krieg.
KRIEG: You’ve walked the wrong dog.
CLAPTRAP: Shoot him in the face.
Shoot him in the face again.
It’s not working. Forget it. Abort. Go!
Run, run!
(KRIEG LAUGHING)
(KRIEG GRUNTS, LAUGHS)
(YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS MOCKINGLY) Mine’s bigger.
(SIGHS)
Listen.
I was sent by your father.
TINY TINA: Well, that’s strange.
Because I don’t have a father, lady.
(LILITH SCOFFS)
I know this planet can mess with your mind.
My mind is awesome.
My mind’s so cool.
Listen, I don’t wanna be here. Nothing personal.
So, if you could just come with me,
and you could talk to your dad
and you guys can sort it out,
family style. And I can…
(ENGINE WHOOSHES NEARBY)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
TINY TINA: Nice work, lady. You led ’em straight to me.
KNOXX: So, Atlas sent someone new to find the girl.
Never would have thought it was a scumbag vault hunter.
Actually, I’m not a scumbag vault hunter.
CLAPTRAP: Actually, she’s a scumbag bounty hunter.
LILITH: You know, it’s not my fault you suck at your job,
whoever you are. Who are you?
Commander Knoxx of the Crimson Lance.
And I’m taking the girl with me.
Oh, yeah?
You and what army?
The one right behind me.
SOLDIER: Move, move.
Charlie team, right side.
On your lead, with me!
Stay behind me.
I’ll go.
Wait.
And if you’re both nice,
I’ll put in a good word with Daddy.
Sounds good to me.
Sergeant Russo,
bring me a neurocollar for the girl.
RUSSO: Copy that, Commander.
TINY TINA: A collar?
(CHUCKLES) I love new jewelry.
Yeah, I got you a gift, too.
Catch.
TOY: Will you be my friend?
(LAUGHS)
Oh, shit!
TINY TINA: Yes!
(TINY TINA GASPS)
Come on!
Hey!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(CLAPTRAP SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(METAL CREAKING)
LILITH: Oh, shit!
Tina!
(ENGINE WHOOSHING)
KNOXX: Stop. She’s coming with me.
(HORN HONKING)
I leave you alone for 10 minutes…
Get in the car.
It’s okay. He’s with me.
LILITH: I wish I wasn’t.
ROLAND: Get in the car!
Go, go!
(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING)
CLAPTRAP: Lilith, wait for me!
What did I tell you?
Minimal explosions.
No, I said no explosions!
Who the hell are you?
This is Lilith. My dad sent her.
Oh. She’s a scumbag bounty hunter.
No, I am a highend bounty hunter, pal.
ROLAND: No.
And letting kids get shot at
was not part of my job description.
Oh, I bet it wasn’t.
CLAPTRAP: Lilith. Lilith.
You inadvertently left your best friend behind!
To die!
Lilith!
Move, move, move!
CLAPTRAP: Hey! No pressure or anything
but I’d love to come inside,
if you get a chance.
What are you doing?
CLAPTRAP: Just hoping you can reach out and scoop me up.
You don’t have to stop, just…
Hey!
Go easy on the merchandise.
ROLAND: Here they come!
KNOXX: All units, you are now weapons free!
Take them down!
Damn it! You know what?
You drive.
(BEEPING)
You programmed to steer?
CLAPTRAP: Who, me?
(GRUNTING)
(SOLDIER SCREAMS)
Who’s driving the damn truck?
CLAPTRAP: ♪ Driving, driving, driving ♪
♪ I’m so good at driving ♪
♪ I’m a robot driver ♪
(CLAPTRAP SCREAMS)
SOLDIER 1: Locking on target, ma’am.
(BEACON BEEPING RAPIDLY)
We got a problem!
ROLAND: Brace for impact!
CLAPTRAP: Holy underwear!
(THRILLING MUSIC CONTINUES)
I told you to drive. Damn it.
Bandit one, four, up on the right. Cut ’em off.
They got us pinned.
Not yet they don’t. Hold on.
(ENGINE REVVING)
(CLAPTRAP SCREAMS)
(ALL GRUNTING)
Brace yourselves.
LILITH: What are you doing?
(TINY TINA AND KRIEG SCREAMING)
LILITH: That was a terrible idea
but it worked.
ROLAND: Mm, maybe.
Where are we?
Pisswash gully.
TINY TINA: What’s that smell? Ugh.
Put the window up.
Why?
Put the window up!
TINY TINA: What is that smell?
CLAPTRAP: What is this “smell” thing everyone talks about?
Listen to what I just said!
I don’t want to!
Roll the window up!
Don’t tell me what to…
(SCREAMS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS, LAUGHS)
(SCREAMING)
It’s in my mouth!
KRIEG: Sardine showers.
It’s pee. It’s pee.
Now I got pee all in the middle of my truck.
CLAPTRAP: Correction. It’s 67% urine…
14% fecal…
(THRESHER ROARS)
(YELPS)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Oh!
LILITH: Look out!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
CLAPTRAP: Oh, God!
Don’t nobody move.
I’m not about to die in this…
Shut up.
(BUBBLING)
Okay.
LILITH: Is that…
TINY TINA: This don’t look so good.
LILITH: Yes, it is.
CLAPTRAP: That thing looks angry!
Do you wanna press reverse?
CLAPTRAP: Or hungry.
(ENGINE REVVING)
Oh, my God. It’s gonna kill us. It’s gonna kill us.
ROLAND: Wait a second.
Do you want me to press reverse?
ROLAND: No, I don’t want you to do nothing!
(THRESHER SHRIEKING)
TINY TINA: Oh, my God!
LILITH: Your friends are back.
KNOXX: Roland, don’t be stupid.
Just give us the girl.
(THRESHER ROARING)
Everybody, buckle up. I got a plan.
CLAPTRAP: Somebody hold me!
Seriously, I have no seat belt!
Roland, what are you doing?
Go, go, go!
ROLAND: Hold on!
Hold it!
CLAPTRAP: No, no, no!
(ALL GRUNTING)
(BELLOWS)
(TIRE TREAD SPUTTERING)
Shit.
Feels like we blew a tire.
You call that a plan?
It worked, didn’t it?
Feel free to applaud.
(LILITH SCOFFS)
(KRIEG LAUGHING)
CLAPTRAP: Yay for not dying!
(TINY TINA SQUEALS)
(SLOW DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Nothing.
You stay here and keep watch.
CLAPTRAP: Okay.
But it’s you they don’t seem to trust.
And who can blame them?
♪ Scanning, scanning, scanning Scanning ♪
(ROLAND GRUNTS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
They should be after us by now.
(ROLAND GRUNTS)
ROLAND: Stingrays won’t pursue without ground support.
Knoxx’ll wait on reinforcements.
Let it down, big guy.
Before you added kidnapping to your resume
you were an officer in Crimson Lance.
Right?
Roland didn’t kidnap me. He saved me.
LILITH: Saved you from what?
A life of ease and plenty?
My daddy thinks I’m the daughter of Eridia.
I can open the vault.
LILITH: The vault?
That’s what this shit is about?
You stole her for yourself.
Now, do you know how many people have died
looking for that hole in the dirt?
Well, I do.
My mother was one of them.
We have something they don’t, baby girl.
Oh, let me guess. What? Spirit?
Cando attitude? The power of friendship?
A conscience.
Whatever’s in that vault,
a man like Atlas can never get his hands on it.
All right, Roland, calm down.
ROLAND: No!
She’s a scumbag bounty hunter who works for Atlas.
What, and you think your band of merry heroes can stop him?
Oh, we can try.
We just can’t watch our backs while doing it.
So, do me a favor. Take your weapon.
Toss it over here.
Grab some supplies, take a walk.
You know, when Atlas finds out about that party back there,
I’m as good as dead.
So, like it or not…
we’re on the same side.
(SIGHS)
A side without an army, I might add.
So, I hope you got a better plan than
driving down a thresher’s gullet.
No.
But I know someone who does.
A scientist, a vault expert.
It was her idea to break Tina out and collect the keys.
One key down, two more to go.
And, of course, me.
ROLAND: Load up.
Next stop, Sanctuary City.
CLAPTRAP: All right!
Road trip!
(LILITH SIGHS)
(SUPERMASSIVE BLACK HOLE BY MUSE PLAYING)
ROLAND: All right, mask up.
We wanna keep a low profile.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
SOLDIER 1: Market clear.
SOLDIER 2: Copy that.
LILITH: Oh, this place sure has changed,
for the worse.
CUSTOMER: Back off. Back off! SOLDIER 3: Heading to Gate 23.
ROLAND: Oh, my.
Who’s this handsome devil?
He’s a badass killer.
And the reward’s just gone up to 150 grand.
ROLAND: Looks like you’re not
the only one that’s special, kid.
KRIEG: Cannibal frog convention!
(CHOMPS LOUDLY)
LILITH: Okay, so we’re here.
Now what?
ROLAND: I need to locate my contact.
Moxxi will know how to find her.
LILITH: Moxxi?
ROLAND: Yeah. You know her?
LILITH: Yeah, kind of.
I mean, it’s been a while.
TINY TINA: Would you be a doll and hold this? Thank you.
Kriegy! Give me a ride.
LILITH: Hey.
(KRIEG CHUCKLES)
LILITH: We’re trying to stay lowkey.
Hey. Did you find
what you were looking for in Fyrestone?
Never seen you before, stranger.
Nice try, Miss Vladof Infinity.
I never forget a gun.
What are you up to now, NotAVaultHunter?
TINY TINA: She’s vault hunting.
(LAUGHS)
I knew it.
I told you, I knew it.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Well, well, well.
Look what the skag dragged in.
ROLAND: Hey, Mox.
Get on in there.
Oh, you are most welcome.
Milkshake for my little sugarplum,
and drinks for my friends.
I got something to show you.
Everyone, come over here.
Step into my office.
MAN: Roland?
Roland.
ROLAND: I got it.
CLAPTRAP: Excuse me.
I knew it was you.
Oh, my God.
ROLAND: Hey, Larry.
You probably don’t remember me, but
I sure remember you.
Your mama was a good woman.
Yeah, well, wouldn’t know.
All right. So, where is this, uh, scientist?
So, this is where you’re headed.
You go all the way up those stairs
and right there is the elevator.
LILITH: Mmhm.
Push the button.
Passcode’s “ECHO.”
ECHO?
ECHO.
You sure it’s safe to stay there?
Yeah, as long as this one here don’t blow up the joint.
How’s that milkshake there, sugar pie?
(BOTH GRUNTING AFFIRMATIVELY)
Listen.
For whatever it’s worth…
I’m real happy that you came back home.
And I hope that you know how much your mama loved you.
She always told me how special you were.
You know, I appreciate the help.
Let’s just leave it at that.
Right.
When they were chasing you, I was like,
“Hey, don’t shoot that guy. He’s my roomie.”
You… You said that?
Yeah, man.
(LAUGHS) Hey, you see your bounty went up?
My?
Your bounty.
Get outta here.
Knoxx is on the warpath, stud.
What’d you do to her, man?
Man, I kind of… kind of ghosted her, you know?
Yeah, you did, man. You ghosted all of us, man.
(LAUGHING)
Yeah.
Anyway, man, it was really good to see you.
And, you know, you can trust me.
We’re friends, man. I’m not gonna tell a soul.
Oh, Larry, I’m not worried about you.
You’re my guy.
You’re my main man. (LAUGHS)
I got a feeling you’re not going to tell anybody.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(GROANING)
(BODY THUDS)
(MOXXI SOFFS)
Is he going to be okay?
Well, he’ll have a hell of a hangover.
Ooh, who knew electricity provoked defecation?
LILITH: Hey.
(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Y’all better hustle out the back.
Go out this way.
I got these guys. Go on. Go on.
Claptrap, let’s go.
Go on. Go on. Go on.
Your buddy boy here just drank about 10 shots too many
then he dropped like a sack of potatoes.
CLAPTRAP: I think you forgot me.
Mm. And a tip is always appreciated.
(GIGGLES)
All right.
This looks like it.
ECHO.
ECHO?
Sure that’s the password?
Maybe you gotta echo the “ECHO.”
ECHO. ECHO.
LILITH: All right.
(WHOOPING)
You fools would literally be dead without me.
You need me.
ROLAND: Here we go.
Come on, Claptrap.
CLAPTRAP: Where are we going? TINY TINA: Up.
(ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING)
LILITH: So, you trust this woman?
She’s a xenoarchaeologist, all right?
She’s a little odd.
But she knows everything about the vault.
So, if she says something weird,
don’t let it get to you, okay?
CLAPTRAP: I am 10 to the 100th power
impressed with this place.
TINY TINA: (CHUCKLES) Cool.
Oh! I see you have the girl.
That’s right.
WOMAN: Did you find a vault key, too?
Hi, I’m Tina.
The special one.
Huh.
LILITH: Tannis.
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh.
Hello, Lilith.
Okay, good. So you guys know each other.
Unfortunately.
I’m not staying here.
What?
Okay.
But you all smell like thresher urine.
And your wanted poster just went up all over town.
So, I suggest that you all settle in and clean up.
Now, the electroshower is right over there.
TINY TINA: Ooh, shower.
LILITH: Hey, kids, we’re out of here. Let’s go.
Lilith? Hey, I get it. There’s history here.
I don’t even need to know what it is.
The point is that she’s right.
If there’s a poster of me, that means there’s one of you.
They’re looking for all of us.
I hate to say it, but we don’t have a choice.
We gotta sit tight.
Lilith, we don’t have a choice.
What is happening, Tannis?
TINY TINA: Electroshower.
Wait.
Wait, guys.
(BOTH WHOOPING)
(KRIEG SNIFFING)
CLAPTRAP: Time to shower.
Claptrap.
♪ It’s time for showering Showering, time for some… ♪
That’s not… No.
(SCREAMING)
ROLAND: Claptrap.
CLAPTRAP: Rebooting.
Everybody, just settle down, please.
Settle down.
Hey, hey! Settle down.
CLAPTRAP: Square root of 929,000…
I am basing my assumption that you’re upset
on your body language.
LILITH: Perceptive as ever, I see.
Because of your mother?
Uh, no, because of you.
She trusted you…
to take care of me.
But you ran back here
to chase after that mystical Eridian vault bullshit.
I left you with tradespeople.
Oh.
Yes. You mean the murderers and thieves
on the mining ship.
It’s what your mother wanted.
She wanted me to learn how to kill
by the age of 10?
How to survive.
I had to come back here to finish her work.
She believed the Eridian vault
had the power to change things for the better and…
She traded her daughter for a waste of time.
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
Go back inside.
It’s not safe.
I can look after myself.
Told you I’m special.
Aren’t we all?
Yeah.
They made me that way.
Made you?
What do you mean?
Your father is Deukalian Atlas,
isn’t he?
(SIGHS) Yes and no.
Not a “yes or no” question.
He’s…
my…
creator.
Atlas is bananapants obsessed with the vault.
He says only a daughter of Eridia can open it.
He found a piece of the vault key,
and on that piece
was a tiny bit…
of blood.
Eridian blood.
He cloned an Eridian.
And guess who that Eridian is?
Hmm. Is her name Tina?
Boom.
But it’s all good.
I don’t care I grew up in a lab.
I never wanted a mother or a father.
He created you to open a vault.
God, what an asshole.
(SCOFFS) That’s an understatement.
He’ll use whatever technology’s inside
and make superweapons.
The dude’s got major issues.
I’m just a product to Atlas.
If he gets me,
he’s gonna make me open the vault.
Then he’s just gonna lock me up into another secret lab
and do more experiments.
(SOBBING) And if you saw the things they did
to the other clones…
He’s not gonna find you.
(TINY TINA SNIFFLES)
(FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
CLAPTRAP: Yo! Whassup?
Yeah!
Hey, there, sugar chips.
You need a firmware update?
MACHINE: Piss off, short stuff.
CLAPTRAP: Someone needs an oil change.
My daddy always had a saying.
Never trust a man who can’t hold his liquor.
She tased me, all right?
I love alcohol.
I can be wild.
MOXXI: As for that little girl,
you don’t think the second I saw her,
I wouldn’t hand her right over to you
just to get rid of you?
KNOXX: I admire the fight,
but let me take you through what happens next.
CLAPTRAP: Spare parts! KNOXX: We seal the city…
CLAPTRAP: Anyone got spare parts that I can use?
Uhoh.
Hey, hey, that’s his robot.
It’s an old CL4P…
CLAPTRAP: Excuse me. Coming through.
Got a computer virus. Highly contagious.
Clear the street!
SOLDIER 1: You, down on the ground.
SOLDIER 2: Move, move, move!
TANNIS: Now that we have Tina and the first key,
I wanna show you this.
This is a mining journal left behind
by a corporate bureaucrat.
He cataloged everything the miners brought in,
most of it useless.
But on this page…
Another key.
He thought it was a useless piece of Eridian pottery.
He had no clue they’d found a vault key.
That makes two of three.
LILITH: So, if this is the second key,
why don’t you already have it?
Because the mine is in Caustic Caverns.
Oh, shit.
CLAPTRAP: Danger! Red alert!
People, we need to move! The soldiers, they’re coming!
They have guns! They’re shooting!
They’re firing!
Clappy, slow your roll.
What is the dealio?
The soldier woman who really hates Roland,
which suggests the two of them had some…
Come on, get to the point.
She was at the bar
interrogating Moxxi and your friend Larry…
Was that his name?
Seemed like a decent roommate.
LILITH: Did they see you?
Do you promise not to be angry if I say yes?
KNOXX: Lance units, block all exits.
No one leaves.
Get this thing out of here.
Masks off.
MARCUS: Of course, Commander.
Of course. Hey!
Doubleperched custom Blaster with ionized projectiles.
That’ll outpace any bone shredder on Pandora.
You wanna trade?
I’ll give you special price, huh?
KNOXX: Sanctuary is now on lockdown.
No one goes anywhere until we find that robot.
Is there any way out of here that doesn’t involve garbage?
Um…
No.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
What?
Did you guys wanna use it?
The entrance is underneath all of that debris.
Under there.
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
Whoo! Look what I got!
ROLAND: Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Open it.
(METAL CLANGS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
Hello.
CLAPTRAP: Would you look at that? A ladder.
Unfortunately, my design doesn’t facilitate
this type of vertical travel.
Drats.
Guess I’ll just… (SCREAMS)
Well…
(FAINT THUD)
Destiny awaits.
CLAPTRAP: I’m fine!
KRIEG: Mm! Meat soup.
Chemical waste from the mining equipment.
It’s corrosive enough to dissolve almost anything
except the natural crystals in this cavern.
How are we gonna get through this?
Well, it’s not gonna be that way.
Looks like we gotta take the high road.
Krieg.
Let’s see if we can grab this here.
CLAPTRAP: Luckily, my wheel’s too large,
so I’ll just watch you all melt
from a safe and reasonable distance.
You are small enough to get in there.
Head through the tunnel,
locate the main access control panel and then unlock
the door at the end.
CLAPTRAP: Can do!
Quietly.
CLAPTRAP: No problem.
I wouldn’t want anything bad to happen to each one of you
in the most horrifying way possible.
All right, I’ll go first.
I got this.
No, I got it.
I got it.
LILITH: Tina!
TINY TINA: Coming through! ROLAND: Hey, hey.
TINY TINA: Relax.
I’m the lightest.
Tina!
Hey!
(KRIEG AND TINA LAUGHING)
(LILITH SIGHS)
Ladies first.
Don’t mind if I do.
(METAL RATTLING)
(SIZZLING)
You all right?
Mmhmm.
Be careful.
(METAL CREAKING)
(TANNIS EXHALES)
Guys.
Look.
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
TINY TINA: Hope blooms in the strangest places.
LILITH: It’s kind of pretty.
CLAPTRAP: Mission accomplished!
The door is unlocked.
♪ Who’s the best? I’m the best ♪
♪ Give me a job I pass the test ♪
LILITH: Can’t take him anywhere.
CLAPTRAP: Well?
You’re welcome.
(SCOFFS) Impossible to please.
(SUSPENSFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
KRIEG: Scream showers.
It’s Bloodshots.
Yeah, their symbols are everywhere.
ROLAND: These are the Psychos other psychos are afraid of.
They’re probably still here.
Let’s go find out.
(SOFTLY) No bombs.
I’ll be surgical.
There’s only one of you in the world…
and you’re special.
You guys sit tight. Wait for us to come back.
Come on, Lil.
(HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(BLOODSHOTS CLAMORING)
Dealt with Bloodshots before?
ROLAND: Once.
LILITH: How’d you make it out?
Kind words and hugs?
I don’t know what it is that happens to ’em
when they’re down here
but it’s like they get hit with an extra dose of crazy.
(SCREAMING)
(BLOODSHOTS CHEERING)
BLOODSHOT: Strip the flesh, salt the wound!
There’s too many to shoot.
Or blow up?
Well, we can’t really blend in.
We don’t look anything like them.
Except you, handsome.
KRIEG: Thank you!
CLAPTRAP: Well, according to my calculations,
the odds of a successful stealth operation
in this scenario is…
0%? Wow!
You never see that!
Well, I guess that’s it then. Back to the truck, right?
Did you factor in a distraction?
Of course.
I analyzed 16 million versions
where one of you creates a distraction.
Total failure.
No, not one of us.
Wait, who else is…?
Oh, no.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(METAL CLANGING)
(LAUGHS) Coming through.
(BLOODSHOTS EXCLAIMING)
CLAPTRAP: Hi, there.
How you doing?
(CLAPTRAP LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Just a little nervous laughter to crack the ice.
BLOODSHOT 1: Shiny!
CLAPTRAP: Just rolling through town
looking for a good time.
Ladies and gentlemen!
Your attention, please.
I am here because I want to be
and not for a more justifiable reason
like trying to be a distraction.
Even though it makes no sense
for me to say what I’m about to say,
and even though anyone rational
would suspect it was just part of a crude plan,
I have decided
entirely on my own to say the following.
Y’all bitches need to eat your own butts
with your poopymouth…
(MOUTHING ALONG)
…assfaces until you die from loser poisoning
like the stupid puscrotches that you is.
(GIGGLES)
(ROLAND SIGHS)
(WEAPONS COCKING)
CLAPTRAP: Was that too much? It was too much, wasn’t it?
What took it over the edge?
Was it the “poopymouth assfaces”?
Stairs. Come on!
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
CLAPTRAP: Not in the undercarriage!
My programming…
Oh, that’s gonna leave a mark.
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
Son of a… You got me!
Okay, I’m dead. How about that?
(CLAPTRAP SCREAMING)
(BLOODSHOTS CHEERING)
Is he going to be all right?
(CHEERING CONTINUES)
CLAPTRAP: Excellent plan.
Who would have guessed they’d shoot me, right?
LILITH: Well, we survived.
So much for your 0%.
CLAPTRAP: You’re not out yet.
TANNIS: I think the key’s in here.
TINY TINA: Sweet.
So, the key is in one of these crates.
One of these
kabillion crates.
Yeah, this is gonna take a minute.
CLAPTRAP: Four days if you work around the clock
which you can’t,
because your bodies require rest every 16 hours.
Lazy!
Not if those psycho Raiders find us first.
Those are Bloodshots.
Raiders live above. Not down here.
There are no Raiders down here.
Tannis, nobody’s talking about Raiders.
TINY TINA: What’s the big deal about Raiders?
TANNIS: I know, but you brought up Raiders.
ROLAND: How about we forget about it?
TINY TINA: Am I missing something here?
TANNIS: But I don’t understand.
ROLAND: Forget about the Raiders!
Just forget about it.
TINY TINA: I’m sorry.
(SIGHS)
(MYSTERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING)
I understand…
Bloodshots are down here.
You keep bringing up Raiders.
Tannis, I swear to God…
LILITH: I found it.
What?
LILITH: The second key.
TANNIS: How… How did…?
I don’t know. Just lucky, I guess.
ROLAND: Yeah, we’ll see how lucky you are.
We still gotta get out of here.
There’s an exit portal this way.
Come on.
(FAINT CLINKING)
LILITH: Shh!
(WHISPERS) What’s that?
(CLAPTRAP STRAINING)
What? I’m expelling the excess lead.
Big bullet. Big bullet coming. There we go.
Can’t you do this another time?
This has to happen now.
Don’t judge me.
(CLAPTRAP GROANING)
(LAUGHING)
(KRIEG LAUGHING)
CLAPTRAP: What? How is this funny?
You keep it down.
Do I judge you when you blast out a loaf?
We don’t wanna attract…
CLAPTRAP: Look out!
(GRUNTING)
A little help?
(GRUNTS)
(ACE OF SPADES BY MOTORHEAD PLAYING)
CLAPTRAP: Incoming!
(BLOODSHOTS YELLING)
ROLAND: Go, go! TANNIS: Okay, going now!
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
(KRIEG GRUNTING)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
ROLAND: Tannis!
Thank you.
CLAPTRAP: On your left!
Wow!
(GRUNTS)
(BLOODSHOT 1 YELLS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(TINY TINA SCREAMS)
BLOODSHOT 2: Come here, girlie!
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS)
What are you doing?
I needed a gun.
So you ask for it, Tannis. Ask!
Move!
(BLOODSHOTS YELLING)
That way!
CLAPTRAP: (LAUGHS) We’ve got this, guys!
There’s nothing we can’t do!
Stairs!
Krieg, help me! I’m not…
ROLAND: Go, go!
(CLAPTRAP GROANING)
(BLOODSHOT 3 YELLING)
(BLOODSHOTS YELLING)
Lilith, I got you!
Go!
TINY TINA: Roland!
Watch out!
Go, go!
Time to go.
(BLOODSHOTS SCREAMING)
CLAPTRAP: I’m sure we’re past the hard part.
TANNIS: (SOFTLY) Okay.
(GROWLING)
ROLAND: Go, go, go! We gotta move!
(BLOODSHOT LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY)
TINY TINA: Let go of me! ROLAND: Tina!
TANNIS: Lilith! BLOODSHOT 1: Hello!
(LILITH GRUNTS)
(GUNSHOT)
CLAPTRAP: Follow me this way.
I have a tremendous sense of direction.
Oh, God!
(BLOODSHOTS LAUGHING)
BLOODSHOT 2: Help me!
TINY TINA: Krieg, spin me!
TANNIS: I found it! I found it!
There’s an elevator!
Follow me. This way. Come on.
Roland!
ROLAND: Clappy, go! Go! Go!
CLAPTRAP: Lilith! Don’t leave me behind again!
There’s a service elevator this way!
It’s up here.
This way. Oh, no.
ROLAND: Go! Go, go, go!
TANNIS: Shit!
This is gonna take some time. Hold this.
Claptrap!
I need help!
CLAPTRAP: Uh, in front of everyone?
TANNIS: Yes! CLAPTRAP: Look away!
Look away! I command you!
Krieg, we got company.
KRIEG: It’s time to bleed!
Come on!
I am trying!
Krieg, wait!
Krieg!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
It’s not working.
TINY TINA: Aren’t you supposed to be smart?
BLOODSHOT 1: I’ll turn you into a meat bicycle!
BLOODSHOT 2: Another victim!
(BLOODSHOTS CACKLING)
(LILITH STRAINING)
(WEAPON FIRING)
LILITH: Thanks, kid.
(BLOODSHOTS CLAMORING)
LILITH: Tannis!
How we doing?
TANNIS: I don’t have it!
(METAL CREAKING)
BLOODSHOT 1: Come here, give me a kiss!
(SCREAMING)
Krieg! Pull back!
Go! Go!
BLOODSHOT 2: I regret everything!
TANNIS: Come on!
LILITH: We gotta go.
It’s not working.
Go, Tannis.
We have another wiring problem.
BLOODSHOT 3: Baby!
(METAL CREAKING)
ROLAND: Shit.
Roland, what are you doing?
ROLAND: Fixing it.
Get back here!
LILITH: Hey.
TINY TINA: No. Please don’t.
Roland!
Hey, Tina.
I’ll meet you at the vault.
I promise.
(BLOODSHOTS YELLING)
ROLAND: Tannis.
Hit it!
Okay, hitting!
(ELEVATOR CREAKING)
Roland!
All right, Bob.
You ready to kick some ass?
(LAUGHS) I knew you’d say that.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(BLOODSHOTS YELLING)
(TOY LAUGHING, BEEPING)
(EXHALES)
(BLOODSHOTS CACKLING)
(FOOTSTEPS THUDDING)
(SCREAMING)
(THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING)
(BLOODSHOTS SHOUTING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
TANNIS: The brakes are out! We are not slowing down!
We are not gonna make it!
(ALL GASPING)
Teleportation.
I can move stuff with my mind, y’all.
CLAPTRAP: We’re not dead?
I’m still enslaved? Drats.
(VOMITS, GROANS)
KRIEG: Chutney vomit queen. CLAPTRAP: Ew! Yuck!
I think the teleportation has made her quite ill.
How did you do that?
I don’t know.
Just kind of happened.
Hey, Roland’s gonna be okay, right?
He’s an elite soldier.
If anyone can get out of that, it’s him.
Where are we?
(STATIC OVER DEVICE)
I can’t get a read on ECHOnet.
But it looks like we’re in an old mine.
LILITH: Maybe we find some shelter inside.
(CREATURE SHRIEKS IN DISTANCE)
(SOFT DESPONDENT MUSIC PLAYING)
TANNIS: I’ve combined the keys.
Look.
LILITH: What’s that? Some kind of a map?
TANNIS: Incredible, isn’t it?
It isn’t just a key.
And right there…
The vault?
TANNIS: It is a shame
your mother is not here to see this.
It was there the whole time.
Apparently.
LILITH: I’ve seen that before somewhere.
TANNIS: Firehawk.
Eridian goddess, protector of the planet.
Well, it’s all a bit pointless without the third piece.
Oh, well, we have it.
She’s the key.
The elevator confirmed it.
That was a phasewalk.
Only an Eridian could do that.
Wait a minute.
If she’s a piece of the key,
what happens when she opens it?
I assumed you knew.
Did your mother never tell you?
I was eight. I can barely remember her face.
When the daughter of Eridia places the key,
the pieces are consumed and the vault opens.
Now, I don’t necessarily believe that means kill her.
But you’re prepared to take that risk.
Well, we have no choice.
Either we take her
or Atlas does.
There is no salvation without sacrifice.
(ROLAND GRUNTS)
Worst orgy ever.
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
Rest in peace, Bob.
Oh, shit.
(SOFT DESPONDENT MUSIC CONTINUES)
Whoa. Sorry. (LAUGHS)
I thought for a moment there you had rigor mortis.
It was a really nice moment.
I’ll treasure it always.
Also, I scavenged the final parts I needed
from a dead transformer,
and fixed the thing you so recklessly destroyed.
(KRIEG SNORING)
You didn’t press this, did you?
I did not.
I can crush it again if you’d like.
Oh, “Thank you, Claptrap. You’re indispensable.”
Thank you, Lilith. Your praise warms my soul.
(SIGHS SOFTLY)
(DEVICE SHATTERS)
(SLOW SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
Lilith.
Have you broken the beacon I gave you?
Ah, this thing was junk the whole time.
(SCOFFS)
ATLAS: Not at all.
It was a highly accurate tracking device
that has led me right to you and Tina.
Now, I was beginning to think
that she would elude me forever.
She’s smart.
She is mine.
And the Crimson Lance
are on their way to collect her now.
If you come after her, I’ll destroy the key.
No, you won’t.
Because if you did,
then I would have to kill
the rest of that heroic band of vault hunters
she’s been slumming around with.
And I promise you, Lilith,
they won’t be quick deaths.
Good.
Glad to see you making
the smart choice for once. (CHUCKLES)
And when this is over,
you’ll be paid what we agreed on.
Thank you, Lilith.
Oh.
Tina, look, I know how this must look, but…
I’m the only one who can open the vault.
And I’m gonna use whatever is inside to kill him.
Too bad you won’t be around to see it.
Wait.
Enjoy your freedom.
(EXPLOSIVE CLATTERS)
Tina. Tina, no!
(GROANS)
(CLAPTRAP WHOOPING)
(SIGHS)
(VOCALIZING UPBEAT TUNE)
(STOPS VOCALIZING)
I’m dancing because…
you’re alive.
Not because I thought you were dead.
Heartwarming.
Where are the others?
They found a truck in the village and left.
Without me.
What village?
CLAPTRAP: This must have been one of the original
Pandoran settlements.
How quaint.
I know this place.
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
(SCREAMING)
(TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC PLAYING)
LILITH’S MOM: Come on. Come on. Leave it.
Come on, sweetie.
TANNIS: Hurry, give me Lilith!
Come on! Come on!
Remember I will always love you!
YOUNG LILITH: Mama!
No!
CLAPTRAP: Hey, where are you going?
Lilith.
Lilith!
Is this your home?
Yeah.
I used to live here once.
CLAPTRAP: This place is…
reminiscent of something deep in my files.
That drawing…
(POWERING DOWN) I feel strange.
Lilith.
Mom?
If you’re seeing this…
I’m afraid I didn’t make it.
I’m so sorry that I sent you away.
I didn’t want to.
But as soon as I realized
what you are,
what you might become…
I knew you’d never be safe here on Pandora.
But if you ever return,
I’ve made sure that Claptrap will find you,
help you understand…
your destiny.
(GUNFIRE OVER HOLOGRAM)
Lilith, I love you.
(CRYING)
I wish…
I could hold you one last time.
Tina!
CLAPTRAP: Whoa. That was weird. (LAUGHS)
I blacked out.
Did something important happen?
(WIND BLOWING)
(TANNIS GASPS)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(DEVICE BEEPING)
(BEEPING FASTER)
TANNIS: It’s saying it’s here.
TINY TINA: All I’m seeing is some holes.
Are you sure this is it?
TANNIS: I don’t know. It’s somewhere.
TINY TINA: Okay, what does it look like?
TANNIS: Big. It’s an arch.
It’s here somewhere. I know it’s here.
TINY TINA: How do you know it’s here?
TANNIS: Because I’m feeling emotion.
TINY TINA: Can you be more specific?
Thing of power!
Not right now, Krieg. Please.
Okay, I get it…
But that means something!
No, no, no!
I’m not following.
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(TANNIS GRUNTS)
Krieg, you genius. You found it!
(SLOW SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
I have to warn you, this might kill you.
Me? (CHUCKLES)
Nah, kid. I’m the special one.
Whatever this is, it’s gonna make me invincible.
(GRUNTING SOFTLY)
(STIRRING MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC FADES)
(SIGHING)
What just happened?
I’m the special one. It should do something.
Apparently not.
(CLAPPING NEARBY)
ATLAS: Well done, Tina.
Well done.
Amazing effort.
(BLOODSHOTS LAUGHING)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
You survived the worst planet in the galaxy.
You found the key and the vault itself.
You’ve made your father so proud.
Commander Knoxx,
I need her nervous system intact.
Keep the organs on ice.
Perhaps we’ll have better luck with the next clone.
ROLAND: Hey, asshole.
That was quite an entrance, Roland.
You miss me?
You might have saved the day if it wasn’t for…
my Atlas auto shield.
Kill them all.
(TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES)
Hold your fire.
That’s an order.
SOLDIER: You heard the commander.
Weapons down.
KNOXX: Roland, you were right.
I should’ve…
(TINY TINA GASPS)
No!
No!
Any other objections?
LILITH: Just one!
That you continue breathing.
But I’ll allow it
if you let my friends go in peace.
And tell me, Lilith,
just why would I do that?
Because I’m the daughter of Eridia.
I’ve seen that before somewhere.
TANNIS: Firehawk.
Eridian goddess.
It’s your planet, Lilith.
You have to protect it.
MOXXI: Mama loved you.
She always told me how special you were.
LILITH: I found it.
TANNIS: How did…? LILITH: I don’t know.
Just lucky, I guess.
CLAPTRAP: Daughter of Eridia, baby!
Bet you didn’t see that coming!
(CLAPTRAP LAUGHS)
But…
But I’m the special one.
Oh, you are.
Just not the way you thought.
I open the vault…
the girl goes free.
You open the vault
and you all go free.
You have my word.
TANNIS: I just figured it out.
Your mother gave you to me
to take you away from here,
so you would never have to open that vault.
CLAPTRAP: (SARCASTICALLY) Well, that worked out great.
I have to open it.
No salvation without sacrifice.
Remember?
But you can’t.
You can’t.
It’s fine.
You’re safe.
And, Tina,
memories are more powerful
than anything Atlas could ever create.
Now, you got one of me.
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
(SLOW SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(KRIEG GRUNTS)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
Yes.
Tannis, what’s happening?
The Eridians have delivered us
a champion.
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING)
(EPIC MUSIC PLAYING)
The legends were true.
She’s the Firehawk.
Lilith, can you hear me?
Take me into the vault.
If you won’t, I’m going to have to hurt your friends.
(GRUNTS)
(SOLDIER SCREAMS)
Pull me up!
TINY TINA: Lilith, help!
(TINY TINA SCREAMS)
Make it rain, Tina!
(GRUNTS)
Attack!
(ALL YELLING)
Are you guys shooting?
I’m sorry, I didn’t feel a thing.
You get a bullet. You get a bullet.
Run, run.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
CLAPTRAP: Interplanetary ninja assassin mode activated.
Step aside, bitches. (EXCLAIMS)
(GRUNTS)
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(LILITH GROANING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GRUNTS)
(LAUGHING)
(EXHALING)
Lilith. Lilith!
No!
Lilith, can you hear me?
(SCREAMING)
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
TANNIS: Lilith. Come on, Lilith.
Lilith.
Please wake up.
LILITH: Tannis, run.
(GRUNTS)
(EXHALES)
(GUNS POWERING UP)
(STRAINING)
(ROARS)
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
KRIEG: Nobody kills me but me!
(GRUNTS)
CLAPTRAP: Everybody, run!
(SOLDIER EXCLAIMS)
(GASPS)
SOLDIER: Go! Move, move!
ROLAND: Shit!
(TANNIS COUGHING)
CLAPTRAP: Tannis, you’re alive.
I’m alive!
This guy, not so much.
(ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
A siren.
ROLAND: Tina!
Tina!
Tina!
Tannis, where’s Tina?
ATLAS: Lilith!
I warned you not to disappoint me.
Take me to the vault now.
(WHIMPERING)
CLAPTRAP: Well, shit.
(TINY TINA GRUNTING)
Let go of me!
Keep struggling and I’ll kill you.
Lilith!
(VOICE ECHOES) Lilith, show yourself!
Show yourself or I kill her!
I’ll do it!
Believe me.
LILITH: (VOICE ECHOES) Oh, I believe you.
ATLAS: Ah, Lilith.
This is… unbelievable.
So much more than I ever imagined.
The treasures of a race who once ruled the galaxies.
Look.
The power. Can you feel it?
Can you…
LILITH: Yeah, I can feel it.
Honestly, it makes me a little sick.
You’ll get used to it.
LILITH: Yeah. You see…
I have something that a man like you will never have.
Enough.
ATLAS: Lilith. LILITH: Over here.
Lose something?
(POWERS DOWN)
Tina!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
TINY TINA: Tada.
(GROANS)
LILITH: Byebye.
No, Lilith.
Lilith, please.
LILITH: Don’t worry.
You won’t get lonely down here.
No. No.
No, no, no. No!
Lilith! Tina!
No, no, no!
(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
(CREATURE ROARING)
(SCREAMING)
(CROWD CHEERING)
(LIKE SUGAR BY CHAKA KHAN PLAYING)
♪ It’s like sugar ♪
♪ So sweet ♪
(ULULATING)
CLAPTRAP: Excuse me! Coming through.
Make way for the hero!
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey.
You hear that?
What?
That I think is what peace sounds like.
(ROLAND SCOFFS)
ROLAND: Enjoy it.
Let’s make it last.
I made you a little tea.
I thought you might be a little dehydrated.
(ROUSING MUSIC PLAYING)
All right, guys. Let’s, um…
Let’s join the party.
CLAPTRAP: All right! Hooray!
Whoops. Premature celebration.
That’s never happened before.
(ALL LAUGHING)
You ready?
We’ll meet you there.
I got you.
Come on, Krieg.
Time to go get drunk.
KRIEG: Glorious meat fiesta.
So…
Uh…
I don’t think so.
Come on. (SIGHS)
Do the thing.
I’m a bit old, I think,
to be setting myself on fire for your amusement.
You know you want to.
LILITH: Let me tell you everything you need to know about Pandora.
She’s dangerous.
She’s dirty.
And she’s definitely a toxic waste dump.
But, she’s my home.
(CLAPTRAP SCOFFS)
CLAPTRAP: What a showoff.
(SHINE A LITTLE LIGHT BY THE BLACK KEYS PLAYING)
♪ If evil lays Its hands on me ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ Show me things I cannot see ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ If evil lays Its hands on me ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ I’m waiting, praying Patiently ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ If evil lays Its hands on me ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ Show me things I cannot see ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ Show me things I cannot see ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ If evil lays Its hands on me ♪
♪ Shine a little light On my soul ♪
♪ I’m waiting, praying Patiently ♪
Woohoo! Check these moves.
I come to dance, mofo.
(WHOOPING)
(EXCLAIMS RHYTHMICALLY)
Twerk it. Work it out, now.
Do the Claptrap. It’s my…
Oh, hey! Hey, wait! No, no, no!
What’s goin’ on here? No!
It’s my Easter egg!
Ah! You son of a…
Don’t make me leave!
Not when I’m giving the people what they want!
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SERENE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC FADES)
