Sammy Obeid: The Epstein ‘Philes | Transcript

Honestly, I don’t think that Biden was on Epstein Island because that’s a lot of plain stairs to go up and down. I don’t think he’s equipped for that. I think Epstein was like, “We don’t do liability waivers. I don’t think we can have this guy.” It just makes you realize how creepy all of our presidents are, right? It’s basically confirmed that Trump’s a pedophile. Biden was sniffing young girls’ hair. That’s not good. But hopefully that’s just where it stopped. And then Bill Clinton was Bill Clinton.

And then I know liberal crowds get mad when I bring up Obama, but he did have some, you know, I guess allegations that he was doing some fellatio for some drugs once. I’m not going to put that rumor out there, but he did drone strike Syria. So I’m going to put the rumor out there just for tonight. It really just makes you appreciate George W. Bush just a little bit. Just a little bit. You know what I mean? I get it. George W. Bush, horrible person, right? Iraq war, decades of pointless conflict. But family man. A little cocaine. A little cocaine family man. You know what I mean? He couldn’t go to Epstein. He was doing art at home.

So Trump’s almost definitely implicated. Elon seems to have some inside information here. I don’t like a lot of things Elon does and says, but I don’t think he’s lying. I don’t think Ketamine makes you lie. He’s basically the only private detective we have left in this situation. He’s our special—he’s special K detective. Special K unit. He’s out there like, and then we’re going to go directly to Mars. And by the way, the big beautiful bill is not beautiful at all because if it was I would have asked it to bear my child. It’s one big show.

We don’t know exactly who all of the people were who associated with Epstein aside from all the very detailed flight logs. We don’t know all the people, but we do know that somebody in the government considered him a good hang. I mean, take all the time you want with that one. It takes a little while for the oxygen to leave the brain. So we’ll take our dear time. We don’t have the conclusive evidence that we want or need. So I think the best next step is to check the surveillance tapes of Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell. Maybe that’ll give us a good hint as to what happened. Does anybody have access to those tapes? Oh, they’re actually released to the public. Awesome. Oh, there’s a missing minute. You don’t say.

There was a missing minute in the surveillance tapes released directly to us from the DOJ, our trusted father. Now, here’s the crazy thing. They say that the surveillance tape system at Jeffrey Epstein’s high-security prison was from the ’90s. It was very old school. They recorded on VHS, I guess, and it had just one track audio. Apparently the video system needs to reset every night right around midnight, which is the time that Jeffrey Epstein was allegedly killed and that his cellmates nearby said they heard someone visiting at the prison cell. Right around that time is when the tapes just stop for a minute. And I believe the government because with the budgets right now, it’s hard to get updates on your video surveillance, especially for high-security prisons like that. Isn’t that crazy? They expect us to believe that a high-security prison is using a video surveillance system from the ’90s in 2019. The government can spy on us in 4K, but it can’t record federal prisons in more than 720p. And so there’s a missing minute.

That’s what at a conference a reporter was asking Pam Bondi. He’s like, “Hey, what’s up with that missing minute?” She’s like, “Yeah, we’re looking into that. We just have to check with the prison to see if the tapes reset every night like that. So we’re just checking. Let us know. They haven’t told you yet.” She’s like, “They haven’t got back to us. They use voicemail, so their voicemail box was full, basically, so they’re going to let us know.” Then it turned out the news came out about a week ago that the tape was doctored. Yes. The tape was fabricated by we don’t know who, but whoever it was, they used Adobe Premiere. Shout out brand loyalty.

If anything, this was a big L for DaVinci Resolve because they’re like, damn, we could have had that credit. The FC tapes, that’s huge. Somebody determined they stitched together two different video tracks and two different audio tracks using Adobe Premiere. Shout out to Adobe. Good job. But not shout out to Microsoft because he was there. Open the gates of hell. They used Adobe Premiere and they stitched together this tape and I find it kind of inspiring how technology has improved over the years. Somebody in the government made this tape in 2019 thinking they’re not going to figure this out. I have the latest edition of Adobe Premiere. I just did the 2019 software update. They’ll have no idea what happened. Six years later, they had no idea that AI was going to take everybody’s job and be like, “That’s a fake.” Then it came out a few days later that it wasn’t even a missing minute. It was a missing 2 minutes, 53 seconds. That’s a game changer, right? Because beforehand people were like, “Well, it’s just a minute.” Even said that like a minute historically was enough for Jeffrey Epstein to get finished. But 2 minutes 53 seconds—you can kill like five people in that time. I wouldn’t have known personally. I’m just saying it’s a lot of time for the tape to go blank.

So is he dead? We’ll find out. Actually, I’m going to reveal at the very end. We know for a fact that some video editor proficient in Adobe Premiere was sitting behind a screen deleting something that happened that night, some strange thing that happened that night right outside of Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell and then stitched together things with apparently no guilty conscience. So a human being literally removed something that could implicate this and bring justice to this whole situation. They removed it and stitched the video together in a complete fabrication to trick the general public into seeing something that did not in fact happen. I think we need to find that editor and I would like to hire him because that is amazing work. That is amazing work.

A lot of the times I tell a joke and certain parts don’t work and I would just like to cut it out. But my editors, they don’t know how to do the crossfades and merge the two audio tracks together. Honestly, this joke’s not doing as well as I hope. So I’m going to edit in laughter later. I’m going to stitch together another audio track. So if you know that editor, shout out. Give him my number.

The world at this point wants to see the Epstein files. Here’s what I realized. I really don’t think there are Epstein files. I think the government has a lot of information and some of it they’re not releasing, but I think most of it already exists on this place called the internet. So if you want to see the Epstein files, I looked at them. It’s called Wikipedia. Just Wikipedia Jeffrey Epstein and you’ll basically see enough. You’ll see more than you even want to know. I’ll tell you that much.

So what I’m saying is I read the Epstein files and I’m releasing them here tonight in New Hope at my screening: The Epstein Files Uncensored. Footnote: we had to double-check this on Wikipedia. I am against pedophilia. I think we need to be doing more as a society to stop it. We’re not in this country. When people get an offense for pedophilia, they get put on a list. That’s insane. That’s not proactive. We need to stop people before anything happens. I have an idea. I think we all need to go down to the grocery store and watch who’s buying their bananas green. Think about it. Those aren’t ready yet, but they still want them. These are the people we need to be watching out for—the green banana buyers.

I see some angry faces. I buy my bananas green. Well, you’re a pedophile now. We know. Buy the bananas yellow like a normal adult or with the brown spots if you like them mature. Know how to do it. Get the bananas the correct way.

Furthermore, this country has an institutionalized system of protecting pedophiles and we need to become aware of it and call it out. It needs to stop now. And to all the people saying, “Well, Jeffrey Epstein got away with it just because he was rich and famous”—like, “No, then why is Jared from Subway still in jail?”

[Applause]

And anybody who’s studied this Epstein case—or I mean read the Wikipedia article—would know that this goes beyond powerful people just trying to protect a single pedophile. There’s intelligence involved. There’s central intelligence involved. If only there was an agency that would be in charge of central intelligence, maybe we could figure out who the culprit is here. Okay, I’m talking about the CIA, guys. The CIA— I don’t know if you know about this institution—but they’ve done a lot over the years and a lot of the people who work for the CIA are horrible people, and some of them convicted pedophiles and some of them are pedophiles that were never prosecuted. Look it up. There have been CIA officers historically that were not charged for pedophilia. CIA actually stands for “can’t identify age.” It’s absolute—

We know that this goes even beyond the CIA. We know it goes beyond our intelligence. And if you look at the case, you would know a foreign entity is involved. Now, I don’t want to depress you guys with conspiracy theories that might make you most sad, but there’s enough evidence now that it’s not a conspiracy. It is real. It is real. It is real. It is real. It is real. Nothing to see here, folks.

I do have to be careful talking about this because if I talk too much about Epstein, his lawyer could still come after me. Isn’t that crazy? Epstein’s dead, but his lawyer is still active for him: Alan Dershowitz. You guys know Alan Dershowitz? Sleazy guy. He was recorded to be on Epstein’s island. He has allegations against him, and he’s still Epstein’s lawyer. So if I talk too much about Epstein, I could get sued by Alan Dershowitz. For the same reason, I can’t talk too much about Israel. If I talk too much about the Israel–Epstein connection, Israel’s lawyer could come after me. Also Alan Dershowitz—how many more clues do you need? Okay, but it’s just a theory, right? It’s just a theory supported by a lot of facts at this point, because all the things add up. All of this happened to happen right when Netanyahu was coming to the United States to do his laundry. That’s what he does every time. He brings his dirty laundry.

Once you start to put it together, you realize the whole Epstein sex-trafficking thing was not just about one extremely perverted man. It was about a whole operation to gather intel on powerful people. Jeffrey Epstein had surveillance cameras in his house—much better than the ones in his prison, ironically. There are thousands of hours of tape out there somewhere that have not been stitched together in Adobe Premiere. They haven’t even been exported yet. When you connect the dots, which I did one night, you realize it all points back to Israel. That’s why sometimes people ask, “Why are you talking about Epstein so much?” It’s like, bro, I talk about Palestine. I truly, obviously want to free Palestine. The things holding back free Palestine are the lying media, AIPAC buying our politicians, misinformation campaigns. There’s all sorts of levels to the movement trying to prevent Palestine from becoming free. But I’m telling you now: the Epstein Files is the final boss. The Epstein Files is the final boss because it’s controlling the most powerful people.

Look at when Palestine almost became free in the ’90s with Oslo. Who was brokering that deal? Bill Clinton, right? And now who’s basically letting the takeover of the West Bank happen and the repopulating of Gaza and initiating that? Trump—who was his bud. So all of the signs point to this, and that’s why I was up on Wikipedia all night last night trying to gather information on when Epstein turned from just a person into a spy. There were many points where Epstein told other people he was intelligence. There’s instances where he even said he was Mossad. For those who don’t know, Mossad is Israel’s intelligence agency, and they’re like everywhere. There’s probably like two of them here tonight. Hi. Say hi for the camera.

But yeah, I was trying to figure out when this all happened. He went to Israel a bunch of times. He actually went to Israel during one of the times when he was on parole or probation. He spent a lot of time in Israel because he was legally allowed to go there. Israel basically has a system where pedophiles can escape from other countries and take safe haven there. It’s only offered to Jewish citizens of Israel. It’s not Muslims. I’m pointing this out because that shows how up Israel is. They’ve even apartheid-ed pedophilia. So if you didn’t know, now you know.

Okay. Was that a phone call? That’s so scary. That was like an old-school phone—ring ring ring. It’s the FBI. It’s just Kash Patel on the other line. I wanted to look up who Jeffrey Epstein actually was, and I looked him up. Jeffrey Epstein was born in Brooklyn, which is one of the five boroughs that Azor An won, actually. Figured I’d perk you guys up for a second before we get into the dark.

Jeffrey Epstein allegedly had what was considered a normal childhood, which is the first red flag. Parents, do not give your kids a normal childhood. Give them some trauma like the rest of us. It levels the playing field. This guy got both his parents’ love for the whole term. Don’t do that. I’m not telling you what to do, but give him a little adversity—be verbally abusive. Gaslighting is perfectly okay for a parent. Epstein’s parents loved him, and they even had a nickname for him: they called him “Bear.” That’s probably why he grew up to think he was qualified for a honeypot operation. That’s the operation he was doing. It’s called a honeypot operation when they try to attract people with something they think they like. That’s what he did.

Jeffrey Epstein finished high school at 16—which again, don’t do that. Make sure your kids experience prom. He took advanced math courses in college, which I’m not proud of. He studied math—physiological math, which is the creepiest math out there. It’s the math of the human body. Don’t mix those two things. He didn’t finish college. Thank God I don’t have the same degree as him. He then taught at the Dalton School in New York, a popular school, and he got that job from a guy named Donald (not Trump) but Donald Barr—yes, who happens to be the father of William Barr, the attorney general during the Epstein case. I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy, just what a coincidence. I know stats. I majored in math. What are the chances?

Of course this is all covered up. If you try to Google the relationship between Jeffrey Epstein and former Attorney General Bill Barr, you won’t get much because all you’ll get is unrelated articles on the Epstein-Barr virus, which is different. There’s a virus called the Epstein-Barr virus that has nothing to do with these guys. It’s a completely different Epstein and a completely different Barr, but also somehow a virus. It’s actually herpes, which is proof this is not going away for a long time. Needs to be treated.

Sorry if you’re not liking these jokes. I’ll raise the bar.

[Laughter]

People said that Epstein was a creepy teacher, which is shocking. He would actually show up at students’ parties and try to talk to them and hang out with them. So he got fired for that behavior, which shows there’s actually justice in academia sometimes. The Dalton School in the ’70s. You can envision Epstein being like, “Oh man, I can’t just talk to the students freely. I wish I had my own island for this.” And then he did. The signs were there. He studied the creepy math. He was a creepy teacher. Then he gets an island on the Virgin Islands. Come on, dude. The signs were there—there’s “teen” in his name, Epstein. The signs were there, is what I’m saying.

So he left academia and became a day trader, which is how it starts for a lot of evil people, and he got fired for a violation there. This guy keeps taking L’s and then he becomes a consultant, which—let’s face it—is not a real job. It’s like, just become a therapist if you want to talk to people. A lot of consultants in here. That’s fine. He became a consultant in the ’80s, and this is where things started to get weird because during this time he would actually tell people that he was intelligence and he told people that he was a foreign spy. He was found to have foreign passports from that time; one listed his birthplace as Saudi Arabia. This checks out because he did a lot of business in Saudi Arabia in the ’80s.

In fact, in the ’80s one of his biggest clients—so we know he had clients back then—consulting clients, of course—was a guy named Adnan Khashoggi, a prominent figure in Saudi Arabia who worked with Epstein to basically finance the Iran–Contra affair in the ’80s, where Israel funneled weapons into Iran to spur a regime change, which is not relevant to now at all. Epstein was at the forefront of financing that whole operation with Adnan Khashoggi. During this time Epstein became acquainted with a lot of people in Saudi Arabia. It was later revealed, according to Epstein, that he was friends with MBS, Mohammed bin Salman, the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.

Can you turn off the tapes for this one?

[Applause]

[Laughter]

People said that Epstein was a creepy teacher, which is shocking. He would actually show up at students’ parties and try to talk to them and hang out with them. So he got fired for that behavior, which shows there’s actually justice in academia sometimes. The Dalton School in the ’70s. You can envision Epstein being like, “Oh man, I can’t just talk to the students freely. I wish I had my own island for this.” And then he did. The signs were there. He studied the creepy math. He was a creepy teacher. Then he gets an island on the Virgin Islands. Come on, dude. The signs were there—there’s “teen” in his name. The signs were there.

So he left academia and became a day trader, which is how it starts for a lot of evil people, and he got fired for a violation there. This guy keeps taking L’s and then he becomes a consultant, which—let’s face it—is not a real job. It’s like, just become a therapist if you want to talk to people. A lot of consultants in here. That’s fine. He became a consultant in the ’80s, and this is where things started to get weird because during this time he would actually tell people that he was intelligence and he told people that he was a foreign spy. He was found to have foreign passports from that time; one listed his birthplace as Saudi Arabia. This checks out because he did a lot of business in Saudi Arabia in the ’80s.

In fact, in the ’80s one of his biggest clients—so we know he had clients back then—consulting clients, of course—was a guy named Adnan Khashoggi, a prominent figure in Saudi Arabia who worked with Epstein to basically finance the Iran–Contra affair in the ’80s, where Israel funneled weapons into Iran to spur a regime change, which is not relevant to now at all. Epstein was at the forefront of financing that whole operation with Adnan Khashoggi. During this time Epstein became acquainted with a lot of people in Saudi Arabia. It was later revealed, according to Epstein, that he was friends with MBS, Mohammed bin Salman, the crown prince of Saudi Arabia.

Can you turn off the tapes for this one?

[Applause]

Second. Audio is off, too. Hot mic is off. Cool. So MBS—I don’t know if you know about this guy, but not controversial at all. Epstein claims he was friends with MBS and MBS claims he was not. Again, in this case I’m going to believe the dead guy because you see this pattern a lot. Obviously, MBS did not like that Epstein was claiming he was friends, but I don’t think he would have Epstein killed. I mean, MBS has never done that with anybody, according to him. People are laughing because MBS did allegedly—again, not according to him—have someone killed, a prize journalist in Saudi Arabia named Jamal Khashoggi. That’s the same last name as the guy Epstein worked with. Could that be a coincidence? How many Khashoggis do you know? Turns out Jamal Khashoggi was actually the nephew of Adnan Khashoggi. So Epstein worked with the uncle of the guy and then met MBS somewhere along the way. MBS claims he never met Epstein and then suddenly not only Epstein goes away, the journalist nephew of the guy Epstein worked with. I’m not making a connection here. I’m just stating obvious facts.

All right, tape’s back on. So MBS is a great guy and that’s basically what I just said. Somebody might notice this tape has a missing minute, but I have great editors, so don’t you worry. Adobe Premiere. No, my editors use DaVinci, so it won’t look as smooth. After that, Epstein met this guy named Leslie Wexner, who is the CEO of Victoria’s Secret. Another red flag. Then Epstein started recruiting models even though he wasn’t in that—he was just a financier—but he would have parties at his house where he had Victoria’s Secret models. He was like the Harvey Weinstein of finance at this point. Jeffrey Epstein is probably worse than Harvey Weinstein.

So he worked for Leslie Wexner, and this is where he made a lot of money. Leslie Wexner, if you don’t know, huge billionaire. During this time he became acquainted with Ghislaine Maxwell, whose father, Robert Maxwell, was allegedly a spy—allegedly Mossad. When he passed away she got his inheritance, and that’s when she started becoming friends with Epstein. Suddenly they both had a lot of money to pull together to do all sorts of crazy shit with the Clintons. Delete that part too. You’ve seen in a lot of pictures Epstein knew the Clintons, like both of them. The Clintons would never have anyone killed. Don’t look into it too much—the way he plays the saxophone is too sweet and innocent.

All I’m saying is Epstein worked with a lot of people, so there are a lot of suspects. It ended up being like a game of Clue. A bunch of people wanted to kill this guy and they probably all double-booked, which is why they had to cut a whole two minutes and fifty-three seconds because they were like, “You’re here with the wrench, I’m here with the noose.” Come on. I think that’s what happened. I think they all just scheduled the same night because they knew that was the night and they knew the tapes probably reset for a minute. They thought they had a minute but ended up taking two minutes fifty-three seconds. So they had to use Adobe Premiere to finish the job. It was like three people arguing over who gets to kill him first, and that’s when Epstein snuck out and got choppered out by Mossad. But I’m just a conspiracy theorist.

So now everybody wants to know the client list. But again, it’s on Wikipedia. You don’t need an official client list. Plus, he didn’t have clients; they were independent contractors. Nobody was getting W-2s. It was W-9s. Ask the IRS. They’re probably in on this too. You guys know the difference between a W-2 and a W-9. Jeffrey Epstein couldn’t tell the difference between a W-7 and 18.

All right. Jeffrey Epstein purchased an island called Little St. James, which is also the nickname for his—yeah, I know a little grotesque, but you’ve seen the documentaries. That’s why we believe what the women are saying because they all had the same story. They said he had a house shaped like an egg. That’s even traumatizing for me because eggs are so expensive right now. The crazy thing is that many times Epstein got caught for what he was doing, but every time they let him off the hook because if you look it up on Wikipedia, every time Epstein got a case, somebody would show up in a suit and be like, “Let this guy go; he’s higher up than you.” This happened in the early 2000s when Epstein got busted in Florida, and the district attorney who was prosecuting him, Alexander Acosta, was going to give him a heavy sentence. Then somebody showed up and said, “He’s higher on the payroll than you,” so he had to give him a lenient sentence—a sweetheart deal.

Alexander Acosta even says he planned a sentence but somebody told him Epstein was higher up, so he had to give a sweetheart deal. Years later Acosta became Secretary of Labor under Trump. Completely unrelated, of course. But something to know about that sweetheart deal is that they made a deal where anybody associated with Epstein at that time was cleared of guilt for the future—and Trump was associated with Epstein at that time. There was a case filed against both of them: a woman who said in the ’90s she was abused by both Epstein and Trump. She filed multiple times; there were witnesses and everything. Then the case suddenly disappeared around November 2016. I can’t put my finger on what happened around that time, but the case was dropped and the woman has since disappeared from the record that we know.

So I think Trump killed him. I think Trump killed him. But again, we have to keep playing the game of Clue. Epstein was a creepy guy. He got massages like three times a day. For the sake of everybody involved we need justice. We need a happy ending.

Little trivia about Epstein: he went gray very early but never used hair coloring product—lots of confidence, especially hanging out with younger folks. Some people get gray and feel they have to change their life—he didn’t. So you could say he never died.

[Applause]

But here’s the thing. If Jeffrey Epstein is still alive, he would have to be somewhere that actively protects pedophiles. I can’t think of a region with that history—I’ll have to look into it more. As a detective, I’m talking about Israel, guys. I’m talking about Israel.

[Applause]