Jon Stewart unpacks Jimmy Kimmel’s return to television amid outcry over his suspension, a sign of the times in an era where President Trump isn’t even hiding his flagrant attacks on free speech, retaliation against his political enemies, and the brazen corruption in his administration.
Episode of the Daily Show Aired on September 22, 2025
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Jimmy Kimmel’s Suspension Was Always About Censorship (Just Ask Trump) – The Daily Show | Transcript
Welcome to The Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart. We’ve got a fabulous show for you tonight. Thank you so much for joining us. I will be joined later by the former prime minister of New Zealand. Jacinda Ardern will be joining us.
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Probably later. Find out why she forced their ABC affiliate to pull Flight of the Conchords. She did that.
[LAUGHTER]
Folks, news is flying fast and furious. As you know, the administration teased a big announcement on the cause of autism today.
[LAUGHTER]
O ye of little faith.
[LAUGHTER]
So let’s get right–
[LAUGHTER]
This is obviously a very serious moment for the world and the United States of America. To the White House, what is the cause of autism?
[Trump] The use of aceta– well, let’s see how we say that. Acetaminophen– acetaminophen– is that OK?
No! No, it is not OK! We would like a second opinion and a third pronunciation.
[LAUGHTER]
Look, there’s already a ton of controversy around the lack of data tying acetaminophen in pregnancy to autism, and you can’t even be bothered to pronounce the fucking word correctly?
[LAUGHTER]
Until maybe you get to the one word you recognize from your medicine cabinet?
[Trump] –which is basically commonly known as Tylenol.
[LAUGHTER]
Well, I’m sure now they’re known as plaintiff A.
[LAUGHTER]
Aceta– aceta– acetaminophen. That’s when you know– when he looks up, that’s his tell that he recognizes the word. Aceta– Tylenol!
[LAUGHTER]
Meanwhile, in other ABC news, young Jimmy Kimmel’s coming back to television. I don’t know if you know that.
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Yeah. I’ll tell you, Jimmy Kimmel’s flying high like Advil today.
[LAUGHTER]
See the minivans? Boom. Advil’s like, what’s up, motherfucker? You got a headache? Where are you going to turn?
[LAUGHTER]
No, Kimmel’s coming back. That campaign– and I– you know what? I’m joking around. I want to say this seriously. That campaign that you all launched, pretending that you were going to cancel Hulu while secretly racing through four seasons of Only Murders in the Building, that really worked. Congratulations. Wasn’t it– wasn’t it interesting to try and figure out all the tentacles Disney has in your daily life? It’s– it’s one thing to swear off Cruises, but the Avengers? Nah. How is it possible that by getting rid of one company, I can’t watch Winnie the Pooh or Monday Night Football?
[LAUGHTER]
Or listen to early Hilary Duff.
[LAUGHTER]
# So yesterday # # So– # # So– # I would sing more of it. Obviously, Disney is very litigious, so–
[LAUGHTER]
It was rather shocking that this turnaround occurred, because I was told that the original decision to get rid of Jimmy had nothing to do with the Trump administration and their explicit FCC threat that they could remove the show the easy way or the hard way.
My gosh, this has nothing to do with Donald Trump not agreeing with anything Jimmy Kimmel said or not.
I mean, gee willikers!
[LAUGHTER]
All my days. I mean, I don’t know why people would think that. We just randomly remove one show a week.
If Donald Trump wanted to take everyone off the air who had criticisms for him, there would basically only be a handful of individuals left on television.
That’s right.
[LAUGHTER]
That is– that is funny. But it’s also maybe a cause for self-reflection? “Hey, if everyone on TV is criticizing me except for, like, four people, and one of them is my daughter-in-law, I am the drama?”
[LAUGHTER]
Don’t take my word for it. Ask Trump.
[Trump] I’m a very strong person for free speech.
[LAUGHTER]
Almost inevitably, a statement like that will be followed up by a but, however, although, that being said. But if you really– it’s like one of those phrases like, I don’t see color, but– so Trump’s saying he’s strong for free speech. Well, let’s see that big butt of yours.
[Trump] At the same time, when you have networks that– where I won an election, like in counties, I guess it’s 2,600 to 525. It’s called landslide– a landslide times 2.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah. I don’t know if you’re aware of this. We don’t quantify elections by county. We never have. We don’t judge the election by how many counties one person wins and one person loses. Presidents don’t ever say, “well, I lost the popular vote in the electoral college, but I won the land mass”. That’s not how these go. So Trump is up 2,600 counties to 525. And I guess if you were to divide that by the negativity directed at him–
[Trump] But 97%, 94%, 95%, 96% of the people are against me in the sense of the– the newscasts are against me. The stories are 90– they said 97% bad. So they gave me 97. they’ll take a great story, and they’ll make it bad.
[LAUGHTER]
You see what we have here, people? 2,600 counties minus 525 counties divided by negative 97.
[LAUGHTER]
I think you see what this all adds up to.
[Trump] See, I think that’s really illegal, personally.
Boom! Let me explain something. Free speech has always been a ratio. If the county vote were more equal, you could take a good story and make it bad without being jailed. But as our founders stated in the Constitution, when the delta between the sigma of counties divided by factorials of negativity are greater than pi, your inalienable rights turn into more of a expired groupon. I’m sorry, that’s just how it goes. I didn’t make the rules. Blame the founders. Now, free speech–
[APPLAUSE]
Free speech isn’t the only tent post of a free society facing redefinition. There’s also this.
[Trump] We’re bringing back law and order to our country.
[GASPS]
[LAUGHTER]
Oh, we’re not talking about the show? Oh, OK. Because I’m not sure that’s ever left us. He’s talking about law and order as a foundational principle of civilized society. So how does Donald Trump propose bringing law and order back?
[Reporter] President Trump is publicly putting pressure on the Department of Justice and Attorney General Pam Bondi. In a post on Truth Social, the president said, “What about Comey, Adam ‘Shifty’ Schiff, Leticia? They’re all guilty as hell, but nothing is going to be done,” adding, “Justice must be served.”
You post that? Publicly? Sir, far be it for me to tell you how to run your post-judicial lawfare. But do we all have to be copied on this shit?
[LAUGHTER]
We know– we know you and Bondi talk in private. (FAKE-COUGHS) Epstein. Oh, I’m sorry. Ep– Eps– [FAKE-COUGHS]
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
I have a– a Epstein’s file– a cold. I have a cold.
[LAUGHTER]
Now, most people would think a president ordering his independent Department of Justice to go after his political opponents is weaponizing the Department of Justice. That’s why most people don’t work in this administration.
[Karoline Leavitt] It is not weaponizing the Department of Justice to demand accountability for those who weaponized the Department of Justice.
[LAUGHTER]
Yes. This is lawfare, but this lawfare is only fair because of how he fared under– I’ve run out of road for the metaphor. But I think you understand– but, look, man, if Letitia James committed a crime, she should be held accountable. But what if she hadn’t committed a crime?
[Reporter] Trump forced out top federal prosecutor Erik Siebert after his office failed to find incriminating evidence against New York Attorney General Letitia James.
He fi– he fired him for not finding evidence that Trump is going full Devil Wears Prada on this one. I want an indictment for Letitia James on my desk, or you’re fired!
[LAUGHTER]
But, Mr. Trump, it’s 3:00 in the morning, and she didn’t do anything. You woke [INDISTINCT] her! There’s a thousand girls who would take your place in a second. And that sweater is pedestrian.
[LAUGHTER]
And so– that’s my– I’ve never seen the movie, so I don’t– I– if you’ve seen the movie, you’d probably go, I don’t think that’s the movie. By the way, this Siebert fella was appointed by Trump earlier this year. Look, at this point, it’s so blatantly an abuse of power, and yet his defenders continue to reframe this as refreshing.
[Reporter] He’s asking his attorney general in a public way to go after his political enemies. Very open about it. You’re OK with that?
[Sen. Markwayne Mullin] Well, I think what we know is President Trump is very open and transparent with the American people, and he speaks his mind. And that’s what his supporters love about him, and that’s what America loves about him.
No, that’s what America loves about Dolly Parton.
[LAUGHTER]
Transparent, speaks her mind. Yet Dolly rarely jails her political enemies.
[LAUGHTER]
I mean, Senator Markwayne– Mark hyphen wayne backslash Mullin– do you want to know how embarrassing your weak-kneed rationalization for jailing political opponents ring? I’m going to play you a clip of a fellow senator, a fellow Republican senator.
[AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS]
By the way, that’s majority opinion, not just here. Now, Cruz has supported this president through insults to his own wife’s looks and to his own father’s loyalties. And yet Cruz still manages to maintain a modicum of self-respect when it comes to this president trampling all over our Constitution. Sir, it brings me no pleasure to have to play this.
[Ted Cruz (on recording)] Look, I like Brendan Carr. He’s a good guy. He’s the chairman of the FCC. I work closely with him. But what he said there is dangerous as hell.
Fantastic. Fantastic!
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Senator Ted Cruz boldly stating that the FCC chairman threatening the licenses of networks is dangerous. And, Senator Cruz, I would just say, maybe you should stop there. I would stop there. I would not continue with the thought. Perfect. No notes. All right, go on.
[Ted Cruz] And I gotta say, he threatens it. He says, (BOSTON ACCENT) we could do this the easy way, or we could do this the hard way.
[LAUGHTER]
The fuck? We’re talking about “the hard way”?
[LAUGHTER]
What kind of mobster have you ever heard. (GOOFY BOSTON ACCENT) we could do this the hard way. Uh, we could do it the easy way, the hard way? Easy or hard? (NORMAL VOICE) It’s not The Godfather. That’s Lennie from Mice and Men. (GOOFY BOSTON ACCENT) I– I ain’t your bunny. The bunny can do it the easy, the hard way.
[LAUGHTER]
(NORMAL VOICE) You got– you got more, Senator, don’t you?
[Ted Cruz (on recording)] And I gotta say, that’s right out of Goodfellas. (STAMMERING) That’s right out of a mafioso coming into a bar going, (BOSTON ACCENT) nice bar you have here. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.
[LAUGHTER]
That’s not a Goodfellas quote.
[LAUGHTER]
I know this because all of my decorative pillows have Goodfellas quotes on them. I mean, I would go home, I would say– that’s me at home. Look at me.
[APPLAUSE]
Now, Senator, a lesser man might tell you to go home and get your fucking shine box. But I don’t, because you wouldn’t even know what that means. Ted Cruz, I mean, to do that with Goodfellas, with that accent, is there anything in pop culture that I love that you can’t ruin?
(IMITATING LISA) But, Dad, I’m a vegetarian. I don’t eat animals.
(IMITATING HOMER) But, Lisa, animals are so delicious. There’s the animal we get bacon from, the animal we get ham from, the animal we get sausage from.
(IMITATING LISA) Dad, that’s all the same animal.
(IMITATING MR. BURNS) Smithers, release the hounds. Excellent.
[LAUGHTER, BOOS]
They’re not booing. They’re saying “boo-urns.”
[LAUGHTER]
Imagine having to endure a Texas power outage with this guy. Who wants to hear my Apu? Anyone?
[LAUGHTER]
Well, he ruined my love of The Simpsons. At least I’ve still got my favorite franchise, Star Wars, all to myself, so I don’t have to–
(DEEP VOICE) The force is strong with this one. Mm! There is no try. Do or do not.
[LAUGHTER]
At best, he sounds like Yoda with a sinus infection, trying not to cum.
[LAUGHTER]
Do or do– You may enjoy Star Wars, Ted Cruz, but there’s one thing we’ll never have in common. And that’s my comfort movie, The Princess Bride, a fantastical tale of adventure and true love, with an outstanding cast and– oh, you know what’s coming. You know what’s coming. With an outstanding cast, including the inimitable– oh, fuck it. Just roll it.
So what is it you have that’s so worth living for?
Presses on his chest, and– and Wesley goes. True love.
Liar! Shut up, witch! I’m not a witch. I’m your wife. But after what you just said, I wish I wasn’t. Don’t say that name. What? Humperdinck. Humperdinck, Humperdinck, Humperdinck. I can’t hear you. So–
Wow. That was a straight– I’m like, oh, the one-man show.
[LAUGHTER]
Do you know how hard it is to make Mario Lopez uncomfortable?
[LAUGHTER]
Truly, Mario Lopez, the man who, need I remind you, did this dance in a tank tee in front of everyone at the Maxx.
[CHEERS]
Look, I don’t want to get sidetracked by Ted Cruz’s Vegas residency. I just want to say this to Trump’s defenders. You don’t have to bend over backwards trying to make Trump’s authoritarian power grabs seem like the rule of law. He does not give a fuck anymore. He’s saying it straight up. Trump is saying, the people like dictators. Trump is saying, “I hate my opponents, and I want them punished.” And Trump is saying, “I’ll use all the levers of government at my disposal to accomplish that goal.” So you can get on board with that and say, I’m with that, or you can join the rest of us and fight like hell for this constitutional republic.
[CHEERS, APPLAUSE]
Because let me tell you something. Let me tell you something.
[APPLAUSE]
Hold on. It is a form of representational government worth preserving and defending. And as the great Winston Churchill once said–
(CRUZ IMITATING WINSTON CHURCHILL) We shall never surrender!
Motherfucker!
