Thunder Force (2021) – Transcript

In a world where supervillains are commonplace, two estranged childhood best friends reunite after one devises a treatment that gives them powers to protect their city.
Thunder Force (2021) Melissa McCarthy and Octavia Spencer

In a world terrorized by supervillains, one woman has developed the process to give superpowers to regular people. But when scientist Emily Stanton (Octavia Spencer) accidentally imbues her estranged best-friend Lydia (Melissa McCarthy) with incredible abilities, the two women must become the first superhero team. Now, it is up to Thunder Force to battle the super-powered Miscreants and save Chicago from the clutches of The King (Bobby Cannavale).

* * *

[inquisitive music plays]

[woman] In March of 1983, a massive pulse of interstellar cosmic rays struck the earth and its population.

These cosmic rays triggered a genetic transformation in a select few…

Unleashing unimaginable superpowers.

Unfortunately, these superpowers were only unlocked in rare individuals, who were genetically predisposed to be sociopaths.

These new superhumans came to be known…

As Miscreants.

[train gears grinding]

What is that?

Oh, no!

[explosion]

[energy thrums]

[indistinct radio chatter]

My parents were among those caught in the crossfire.

I vowed that day to make it my life’s mission to stop the Miscreants.

[emotional music plays]

[man] Everything we go over today will be on the test tomorrow. Okay?

Lydia, wake up. [knocking on desk]

There she is.

Uh, sorry, Mr. Emerson.

Who can tell me what subject-verb agreement means?

Emily, only been in school for one week, hand’s always up.

Let’s give someone else a chance.

Anyone? How about Lydia? Sleeping Beauty back there.

Is the answer 11?

Incredibly incorrect.

No. Anyone else?

Emily, take it away.

Subject-verb agreement means that both the subject and verb must agree in number.

This means both need to be singular or both need to be plural.

Right again, great.

You suck.

Wayne, Wayne, I heard it, pal.

We don’t do that. We don’t take that kind of guff. Detention.

Mr. Emerson, quick question.

Yeah?

So, I can’t say, “Wayne is a stupid bags of crap,” I have to say, “Wayne is a stupid bag of crap”?

Shut up, Lydia.

Grammatically nailed it, but that’s detention.

Worth it.

[Mr. Emerson] Verbs and nouns agreeing.

[Emily] Stop it.

No. It’s not fair your parents got iced by some Miscreants and we’re stuck with you.

You think you’re so smart. Always showing off in class.

Say you’re a dork and I’ll leave you alone.

Say it.

Say it, nerd!

I’m not a nerd. I’m smart. There’s a difference.

Wayne, got shit in your ears? She didn’t wanna say it.

She’s gonna. Don’t think I won’t hit a girl, Lydia.

[kids gasp]

Don’t think a girl won’t hit you, Wayne.

Now, get in that dumpster.

What? Why?

‘Cause that’s where the garbage goes.

No way!

Do it, dipshit!

Okay.

Anyone else want in?

Yeah, you’re alright.

Um, wanna go to the swings?

Okay.

I’m sorry about your parents.

If I had superpowers, I’d beat the crap out of whoever did it to them.

Thanks.

How cool would it be, though, to be, like, a super person?

More like a hero, I guess, but I think I’d be a pretty kick-ass superhero.

My parents were working on a way to turn regular people into superheroes.

They were geneticists.

Wait, both of them were lady part doctors?

No, that’s a gynecologist.

Geneticists are scientists who work on genes, including mutated ones.

Oh.

Yeah, I knew that.

I’m testing you.

It would’ve been cool if they could’ve turned people to superheroes.

I mean, someone’s gotta fight against those Miscreants.

I’m gonna do that someday.

Do you wanna hang out after school?

Sure.

What do you like to do?

Read.

Oh. You weren’t kidding. Okay. [laughs]

[both laughing]

[“Dreams” by The Cranberries plays]

Hey!

Hey.

I made us friendship bracelets. Now we’re officially friends.

Bet your ass we are.

[woman] Emily, would you like to say grace?

Emily?

Emily Rose Stanton!

I’m… I’m sorry, what?

What are you reading about anyway?

Weak nuclear force.

I’ll say grace.

Thank you, Lydia.

Uh, okay. Uh…

Thanks, Lord, for making such kick-ass food.

If Jesus was here, he would crush it.

[bell rings]

[Lydia] Van Halen’s playing Grant Park.

There’s a break in the fence. I could sneak us in.

I can’t. I have a paper due next week.

So?

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

Clyde.

Wait, what?

Wait, I think I told it wrong.

Clyde, if you can’t tell a joke, you’ll never get a lady. That’s factual.

Challenge accepted.

Bye, Clyde.

[Lydia] Come on, Em.

Van Halen. It’ll be fun.

It would be. But I have to stick to the plan.

♪ Oh, my life ♪

[bell rings]

♪ Is changing every day ♪

Come on, Emily.

♪ In every possible way… ♪

There’s the girl. Where have you been?

Studying.

You’ve been in your cave for weeks.

AP exams in the morning.

Super aware of that.

If I don’t get perfect scores, I won’t finish what my parents started…

[both] …and give people power to fight Miscreants.

I know, I know.

But you’re gonna do fine. You’re gonna crack from the stress though.

That’s why I’m here.

How about you get 30 minutes of shut-eye,

I’ll wake you, and you’ll be ready for round two.

Don’t worry. I got your back. Trust me.

[bright, inquisitive music plays]

[truck beeping outside window]

[car engine turning over]

No! Oh my god, I am late. You were supposed to wake me up.

Oh, wow, that did not go like I planned at all.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m trying to do something with my life.

Hey, I’m sorry, I messed up.

Sorry isn’t enough. I have important things to accomplish.

I can’t be stuck in this neighborhood.

What’s wrong with that?

I can’t let you drag me down.

Drag you? I’m always looking out for you. I’m the only reason you have any fun.

I owe it to my parents to be special.

We all know I’m not special.

I didn’t say that.

It’s fine.

You don’t know how life is gonna go.

I could be the president, getting chauffeured in limousines.

[“It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll)” by AC/DC]

♪ Riding on the highway ♪

♪ Going to a show ♪

♪ Stop at all the byways ♪

♪ Playin’ rock ‘n’ roll ♪

♪ Gettin’ robbed ♪

Come on, come on!

♪ Gettin’ beat up Broken-boned ♪

♪ Gettin’ had ♪

♪ Gettin’ took ♪

♪ I tell you, folks It’s harder than it looks ♪

♪ It’s a long way to the top If you wanna rock ‘n’ roll ♪

♪ It’s a long way ♪

You’re welcome, double shift.

[horn honking]

[can tab pops]

♪ If you think it’s easy Doin’ one-night stands ♪

♪ Try playin’ in a rock-roll band ♪

♪ It’s a long way to the top If you wanna rock ‘n’ roll ♪

♪ It’s a long way… ♪

Hey, Tito!

Quit leaving candy wrappers in my rig!

♪ It’s a long way… ♪

[sirens wailing]

[officer] Bank robbery in progress. Suspect is a Miscreant.

[siren wailing]

[officer] Look for a black pickup truck.

[silently mouthing] What the f…

Oh my god!

[crowd murmuring]

[officer] Anyone hurt?

You guys okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, who blows up an angel?

God!

So, what’s new, Frank?

I got no business.

People are afraid to… to leave the house.

All this fighting, all this crime.

The Miscreants are winning, Lydia.

Tell me about it.

I can’t even pay to fix my window.

Well, I’ll help you put in a new plate of glass this weekend.

Just have to… go to this reunion.

Thanks. Um…

You think Emily will come?

I don’t know. I don’t talk to her anymore, and you know it.

Why don’t you call and see if she wants to come?

I wouldn’t know how to, even if I wanted to.

Oh, really?

I’m not saying I would. I’m just saying I wouldn’t…

Norma stopped by a while ago. I got her number for you.

Pretty creepy, Frank.

Maybe Emily will say no, but you don’t know unless you ask.

You know, it’s like trying to skip a rock in a lake.

You know the lake’s gonna eat it.

It took you half an hour to find the right flat rock, but you gotta throw it.

Otherwise, you’re not gonna know if it’s gonna skip.

But sure enough, you throw the rock, zing, it goes right into the water.

Okay, let’s go underwater.

There’s a big salmon swimming by.

The rock flies in, beans the salmon in the head.

Dead as a doornail.

Floats to the top.

Jesus.

That’s not the worst of it.

Is there more?

The salmon’s a female.

Loaded with little eggs.

Just like the Titanic, they’re all dead.

In this, am I the rock, or who’s the… In this situation?

You could be the rock, you could be the fish, you could be the thrower of the stone.

You could be the lake.

Okay.

Food for thought.

Or not.

You’re bleak, Frank.

I worry about ya, but you do make a hell of a pancake.

Thanks.

See you tomorrow?

Yeah. Hey, you be careful out there.

Yeah, you too.

It’d be great if she came, though.

Yeah.

[pensive music plays]

Emojis.

[message delivery whoosh]

You’re alright.

[train rumbling]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

[gags]

[quietly] God! Is that the milk?

[phone chimes]

[quietly] “Nice to hear from you.”

Awesome!

You know what?

Let’s thin that out. That’ll fix her up.

It did not fix her up.

Is it the milk or the cereal?

[gags] Milk. [coughs]

[coughs]

It’s the milk.

[“Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake]

♪ Here I go again on my own ♪

♪ Going down The only road I’ve ever known ♪

[indistinct chatter]

Dang it, Em.

[reporter] There’s been an assassination attempt on the King, the shipping magnate and billionaire who is opposing Rachel Gonzales in the upcoming Chicago mayoral race.

Almost every day.

Earlier today, a campaign speech by William “The King” Stevens, was violently interrupted by an explosive blast from the Miscreant known as Laser.

You’re the worst.

Right? Isn’t she the worst?

…Gripped the crowd of supporters.

Immediately after the attack, The King made this statement.

You know, I could have lost my life today, but I have a message for that Miscreant named Laser.

You may have taken out this podium, but you will never take out The King.

[crowd cheering on TV]

The King’s lead over Miss Gonzales has been reduced to ten points, making this the closest the race has been since both nominees…

Come on, Em. Where are you?

In other news, our city’s prodigal daughter, Emily Stanton, has returned, with a new headquarters for her company, Stanton 4.0, right here in downtown Chicago.

Way to go, Em.

Emily’s building is epic.

Yeah.

No wonder she’s not coming to our reunion.

I wish she was here.

She’s probably hangin’ out with strippers, sippin’ smooth champagne, eatin’ nachos filled with goose meat or something.

Clyde, you have a really weird vision of how rich people live.

Do you wanna hear a joke?

I’m good.

Remember you told me a long time ago, “If you can’t tell a joke, you won’t get a lady.” Let me tell one.

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

I’m an owl.

I’m an owl who?

I botched the owl thing.

I think I’m the owl, and I think…

Okay, knock-knock.

Who’s there?

I’m an owl.

I’m an owl, hoo!

I’m an owl who?

That can’t work because you say that part. Right?

Unless we’re both owls.

That could be funny. Is that funny?

Oh, I got it.

Okay.

Knock-knock.

Who’s there?

I’m an owl. Shut up.

That’s it. You don’t do the second part.

You just break tradition.

Okay, cool. Uh…

I’m gonna go surprise Emily. I’m gonna bring her back here.

Awesome.

She probably just needs a wingman.

Yeah. I’ll be here. I’m gonna crack this nut.

Okay. If not, that’s cool.

I’m an owl, who?

I’m an owl, whose?

She’s the owl.

[exhales]

Way to go, Em.

[bright, inquisitive music plays]

Whoa! Hey, how you doin’?

Hi.

Hi. Uh, I’m here to see Emily Stanton.

Oh. Sorry, it’s after hours. Do you have an appointment?

No. I don’t have a… an appointment, but I’m Lydia Berman.

I’m her best friend, so… I mean, we’re not currently, what I would say, “best friends” or “friends.”

Estranged, I think, puts a stink on it, that it might not warrant.

But I guess you could say we’re estranged now, but not in a way that’s, like, restraining order.

So, do I just go up and surprise her?

No, you definitely don’t do that.

Okay, but I’d like to go up and… take her…

Not by force, to her high school reunion.

So, just, you know, Lydia Berman.

She’ll be like, “Cool.”

Lydia Berman.

Hello. There’s a Lydia Berman here to see Miss Stanton.

Says she’s here to take her to her high school reunion.

I’m here to take her…

I said that.

She doesn’t go to parties on her own.

Wow, really?

That is surprising to hear. I will send her up.

Well, she will see you.

I’m kinda relieved that’s the answer.

Not how I thought that one was gonna go.

[elevator dings]

Oh.

Thanks, man. Hi.

[woman] Hello.

Miss Berman. Hi, I’m Jessie.

[Lydia] Oh.

Hi. You can just call me Lydia.

It’s my name.

Whoa, this place is taters.

Look at this thing.

Whoa!

Goes all the way… I mean, how do you change a bulb in something like that?

Uh, that would be a maintenance question.

Maintenance. There you go. Wow.

Well, Miss Stanton is working at the moment, but she should be available momentarily. Is there anything I can get?

Can I get, like, an ice-cold brewski?

It’s just gonna take the edge off, ’cause I’m kinda, like, clammy…

Clamming out, if you get me, so…

Okay.

Ah, thank you, Jessie.

[Emily] Hey, Lydi. Good to see you.

Hi.

Wow.

Long time, huh?

Yeah, it sure has been.

You look good.

Oh.

Thanks. Yeah, you look, I mean, super classy.

Thanks.

So, uh…

What brings you by?

Well, I… You know, we were texting, and… I mean, I texted you, and then you… you wrote back about the reunion, which was, is, tonight.

And I was there, and you hadn’t gotten there yet, so I… I remembered that you never liked to go to parties solo, so I just thought I’d…

Thought I’d swing by and see if you wanted me to go with you.

Was that tonight?

Oh, I’m sorry, Lydia.

I… I can’t go to the reunion.

I… I got caught up with work.

Oh, well, yeah, I bet. I mean, look at all this stuff.

It’s like, “Beam me up, Scotty.” Beep, beep, bop.

You know, I don’t know what any of it does, but… [gasps]

Oh god. I’m so sorry.

Oh my god, this sweater’s probably so expensive.

It’s okay. I’ll just change.

I don’t wanna ruin your shirt.

No, this shirt’s, like, garbage.

Literally, I found it in the garbage, so I don’t…

I’m so sorry.

Oh.

I’ll, uh, pay for dry cleaning…

No, no, no. I couldn’t take your money.

But could you do me a favor and, um…

Ooh, don’t touch anything, uh, while I’m gone, please.

Yeah, what a…

Not… not even… not even that.

Okay.

Okay?

I speaken ze English.

[Emily chuckles] Jessie!

[door opens]

I need you to keep an eye on things.

Oh, uh, she said that you’re supposed to get me another cold beer right away.

Seemed kind of, like, mad. I think at you.

Good luck.

Alright, I’m… I’m on it. Anything else?

No, you’re so sweet.

Okay.

[sighs]

[muttering quietly] Stupid.

[thud]

Oh.

Cool.

Whoa. What is all this?

Alright, remember, Lydia, you said you would not touch anything, so…

You should not.

What do you do?

Oh! [laughs]

Whoo! [hums]

Ooh, it’s like old-school Atari.

Let’s see what she’s got. Oh.

[device powering up]

It’s a light switch. Pft. Big deal.

Alright, I’m gonna sit, not touch anything else, and wait for my beer. [grunts]

[device beeps]

[Lydia straining]

No! Ow! Ow!

Whoa! This is the world’s stupidest massage chair!

It’s not a massage chair, you idiot.

There has been a breach in the injection room.

[moaning]

Get me out of here!

Dear god, Lydia. What have you done?

Emily, I didn’t touch anything!

[spluttering] Okay, I touched a couple… I touched one thing. I’m so sorry…

[snoring]

[Emily, echoing] Twenty years of research down the drain.

How could you leave her alone in the lab?

[Jessie] She said you wanted me to get her another beer. I’m sorry, Miss Stanton.

Lydia, do you have any idea what you’ve done?

I’ve worked for this my entire life and you’ve ruined everything.

Oh, I don’t know what was in those needles,

but I’m totally happy to give it back to you.

I can, like, pee in a cup or something…

You don’t understand.

Tonight, I was going to begin treatments I’ve been working on my whole life.

I developed a genetic sequencing platform that can alter a human’s biochemistry in unimaginable ways.

I finally finished the work my parents started.

I was going to find a way to stop the Miscreants.

I was going to become a super… person.

Whoa.

That is awesome, Em.

I always knew you could do it.

What’s your power?

They were supposed to be super strength and invisibility, but you took her treatment for strength.

I’m really, really sorry.

I didn’t… I didn’t mean to…

Maybe you can just, like, cook up another batch.

It took five years to create that formula, and more importantly, your body’s undergoing a molecular change from the injections.

Your cardiovascular system has been increased by 1,000%.

It’s how those intense boils on your face have already healed themselves.

Lydia, the process has started.

Well, that’s not… very soothing to hear.

I mean, I feel weird and sweaty, and…

My heart’s poundin’ like a jackhammer inside my chest because of this serum.

What does that mean?

If you stop taking the treatments, your veins will shred like a log in a wood chipper.

Jessie, could you report to security?

Of course.

Emily, the only logical thing to do is stay the course.

We’ll continue with the super strength treatments with the village idiot here and you begin the treatments for invisibility.

“Village idiot?”

Hello, Chicago is a city, not a village, and the best city in the world.

The Bears, the Cubs…

Not the time, Lydia.

There is no other way, is there?

No, Emily. You know that.

Em, let’s show you to your room.

Wait a minute, I’m not staying here.

I’ve got stuff to do. I got work on Monday. I’ve got good Bulls tickets.

If you stop the treatments, it’s entirely possible that your body will violently explode over the weekend.

I can take a peek at a room, you know.

[sighs]

[Lydia] Whoa.

This looks like the jail cell on Battlestar Galactica.

Alright, come on, come on, come on.

Alright.

[door closes]

The room is furnished in a non-distracting manner to help with your recovery.

Somebody tell me who Urkel is.

What’s an Urkel?

Not “what’s,” “who’s” an Urkel.

It’s Urkel’s… Urkel. Tell her who Urkel is.

How do you not… Oh my god.

You got glasses and suspenders, you know, and you seem super smart.

Let me search.

You know who Urkel is.

How do you spell that?

You spell it Ur-kel.

Ur…

Are you kidding?

[imitating Urkel] “Did I do that?”

Right? Does that ring a… “Did I do that?”

“Did I do that?” You know that.

“Did I… did I do that?”

Mom, is she having a reaction to the injection?

No, she’s always like this.

Did you say “Mom”?

“Mom”? You have a ki… You…

You have a kid and I didn’t even know it?

You have a secret kid for 20 years?

I’m only 15.

Well, I don’t know that ’cause she never told me!

We don’t have time for any of this.

What is Jodie Foster’s problem?

Allie helped me set up this whole lab.

She’s former CIA. She runs things for me.

Wh… What? It’s a compliment.

I’m saying Jodie Foster, like, “It puts the lotion in the basket,” not “Tay in the wind” Jodie Foster.

Tay in the what?

Tay in the wind. Ta…

“Tay in the wind! Tay in the wind!” Nell?

Who’s Nell?

“Who’s Nell?” Who’s Nell?

Jodie Foster, 1994.

Jodie Foster knows it’s Jodie Foster! How do you not know “Tay in the wind”?

We have clean women’s clothing for you. Everything you could possibly need, and we will burn what you are wearing at the first opportunity.

Nobody’s touchin’ this.

Yes, we are.

This is an authentic 1994 Slayer concert T-shirt, bought in stadium, and if anybody touches any of this, I’m sorry, I know you’re young, I’ll murder all of you.

Okay. Well, before we get there, this device is for you.

If you need anything, someone will be on call.

Why aren’t you in school?

First, it’s the middle of the night, and second of all, I graduated from Stanford last year.

Wow, she’s a chip off the old nerd block.

She’s not a nerd. She’s smart.

[both] There’s a difference.

And she helps us out a lot around here.

She’s great with tech.

Can I see your wrist for a second?

Okay.

This is so we can monitor your vitals as you recover and train.

Heart rate, blood pressure…

[beep]

I’ve had something similar, but on my ankle…

Lydia, she’s 15. Let’s monitor our stories.

Got it.

You play Fortnite?

Yes…

No.

[Lydia] What’s your handle?

T-Wagon-14.

Mine’s L-Train-631-Harper-AvenueApartment-7B.

Wait, is that your address?

Oh my god, don’t put your address online.

I’m not putting my address online.

I’m at 7A. 7B is my asshole neighbor, Steve.

If somebody’s gonna get whacked, it’s him.

We should play. But I gotta warn you. I play dirty!

[laughing]

I am unbelievably bored.

See you in the morning. We start at 5:00 a.m.

5:00 a.m.? Bullshit.

Uh, I don’t start at 5:00 a.m.

[device beeps] It’s 5:00 a.m. Time to get up.

[dramatic music plays]

[Emily] Okay, let’s get started.

After a series of treatments, I’m estimating that we can increase your ATP by 10,000%.

Everything about you will become stronger, including your skin, your vascular and skeletal systems, making it more difficult to hurt you.

And I’m estimating that you’ll be able to lift 20,000 pounds.

Roughly the weight of a city bus.

Oh my god, I’m gonna throw the shit out of a city bus.

Language.

I’m gonna throw the pee crap out of a city bus.

That isn’t better and you’re not gonna be throwing a bus.

That would be very bad.

[Lydia silently mouthing]

[Emily] Okay.

First, I need you to lift this mallet and hit the block.

We’ll monitor your vitals and results to get our baseline.

Why does it look like a carnival thing?

Because I’m fun.

Okay.

Yeah.

Here goes nothin’.

[Lydia grunts]

I think I sprained my groin. Do chicks have groins?

Yes.

[Lydia] That’s what I did.

[groaning]

I might have just peed just a little bit in my suit too.

According to this, your bladder did release urine.

[exhales] Great first day, everybody. I’ll catch you tomorrow.

I… No, no, no. We are just getting started.

Now that we have a baseline, it’s time to start your treatment.

It’s not gonna like yesterday, is it?

[Emily] Not at all.

Each treatment is completely unique.

And it’s safe, right?

Oh my god, are they safe?

It’s a miracle you’re still alive.

There can be possible complications with any treatment.

Giving you super strength has inevitable risks.

Like what?

Oh…

Like death, amnesia, paralysis, stroke, brain death, living inside your mind, unable to speak or convey thoughts, which would be the most unspeakable pain, which we simply abbreviate as…

[all] “The unspeakable.”

And did I say death?

Yes.

You know, I’m scrambling to find the silver lining here.

What is it? At least I don’t have diarrhea.

Severe diarrhea is a given.

That one right there is 100% a certainty.

Oh my god.

Look, I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe.

I’m doing this for my parents, for this city.

[emotional music swells]

Let’s get swole and kick some Miscreant butt.

[groaning in pain]

Son of a…

You said it wasn’t gonna be anything like it was yesterday.

I meant metabolically speaking.

Actually, the delivery method is exactly the same.

[wailing]

I’m burning! My face is on fire!

That should be over in two seconds.

[continues wailing]

Oh, yeah.

Oh, that was… I mean, you said it, but it’s actually…

It’s even cool to the touch.

How about you go pick up that mallet and hit that thing again?

I don’t wanna, because I just got a bazillion needles injected in my face.

Give it a try, Lydia. Your results should be instantaneous.

Fine, alright. Hold on to your ta-tas, ’cause this thing’s getting crushed.

What are ta-tas?

Never mind.

Okay.

[grunts]

[thud]

Well, that’s a stone-cold bummer.

That’s really good for only your second treatment.

What do you mean? How many treatments are there?

Thirty-three.

Oh my god.

[dramatic music plays]

[device] It’s 5:00 a.m. Time to get up.

Ah! Ah!

[device beeps]

[screaming in pain]

Get outta here.

Why my boobs?

For this course of treatment, it’s important to inject through the breast tissue into the pectoral muscle.

When are we gonna start your treatments?

Right now, actually.

Here you go, Miss Stanton.

Thank you, Jessie.

Wait, it’s a pill?

Your whole treatment is… one stinking pill?

It’s a very large pill, and I had to go off dairy for this.

[device] It’s 5:00 a.m. Time to get up.

Ahh!

Alright, hold on to your ta-tas, Bill.

Totally meant to do that.

Yeah, I’m good.

It appears that Laser’s reign of destruction will never end, keeping our city on edge.

The Chicago White Sox and Cubs have suspended weekend baseball games due to the increase in her recent lethal activities.

Meanwhile, mayoral candidate William “The King” Stevens’ polling numbers have increased…

There you are, Miss Stanton.

Thank you.

[Lydia turns off TV] Ugh.

I hear you’re not eating.

Nothing tastes right. I’m not… I’m not hungry.

That’s expected. But you still need to eat.

Due to your body’s changing chemistry, this may be the only thing you can stomach.

Ew!

Why raw chicken? That’s so gross.

Your body needs pure uncooked amino acids and your skeleton needs phosphorus for density.

You can really taste the phosphorus.

It’s really good.

God, I’m a monster.

No, you’re not.

That’s juicy.

I have some work to do.

I’m gonna be sick.

Don’t judge me, it’s so good.

Oh my god.

My body needs it.

I’m not an animal!

[Emily] Alright. This shot put is around 170 pounds.

The average weight of an adult male.

Oh, not the kind of beef I date. I like ’em thick.

Here you go.

I’m just kidding.

Here we go.

[Lydia chuckles]

[crash]

Oh.

Ugh.

Do you own that part of the building too?

The sign with my name on it? Yeah.

Could have been Bill Stanton’s building. It’s a common name.

Hey, wait up.

Ooh, I am unloading all over this guy.

God, he’s unloading on me. Wait.

He’s building all around me.

You are not good at this game.

Can I ask you something?

If you’re never in school, then how do you meet dudes, or chicks, or, you know, non-specific gender.

Everybody’s great. Whatever you’re into.

I like boys.

Me, too. You dating anybody interesting?

By interesting, I mean, hot.

Okay. No, but thanks for asking me about it.

My mom doesn’t…

I don’t know. We just don’t talk about that kind of stuff.

Go easy on your mom. She’s great. She’s got a lot of responsibility.

[grunts]

Why are you still awake?

[Emily] It’s one o’clock in the morning, Lydia.

Tracy, you can’t be goofing off like this. We have a job to do.

I’m sorry, Mom.

Go easy on her. It’s my fault.

Good night, Lydia.

Good night.

She’s always got her panties in a wad. “It’s one o’clock in the morning, Lydia.”

You didn’t sign off.

[splutters]

You didn’t sign off.

[tablet chimes]

Looks like it’s just us…

My little raw friend.

[slurps]

Oh my god, we can still see you.

Ew!

No, you can’t.

For the love of god, hit the off button.

I’m sorry. This bird is just so good.

It’s so good.

Oh my god, I’ve created a raw chicken monster.

[kisses] Mwah! It’s delicious.

My compliments to whoever didn’t cook it.

Can’t unsee that.

[bell rings]

Oh man. Tony, I’m sorry. That’s on me.

Alright, let’s take a water break.

You want…

Hey!

Got it, got it.

You get some water, Tony.

[exhales]

We’ve been going at it.

Yeah.

Miss Stanton, it’s time for another treatment.

Thank you.

If you can call it that.

Please tell me that at least gives you indigestion or heartburn or something.

[coughing]

[coughing]

Are you faking?

Yeah.

[Lydia chuckling]

You are the worst.

I have been wondering, if it’s none of my beeswax you can just tell me, but… where’s Tracy’s dad?

Well, I was dating a fellow researcher at Yale.

And I suppose the romance involved in the deep dive into Boveri-Sutton chromosome theory was too much for us to take.

Oh, sexy science talk.

[both laughing]

Well…

When he found out about the baby, he didn’t want any part of it.

Well, his loss.

Tracy is an awesome kid.

Thanks. She is.

Cooldown’s over, guys. Let’s get back to it.

“Get back”? We’ve been doing it for two and a half hours.

Thought we were done.

Let’s make a run.

Really?

Yeah.

[bass-heavy rock]

Oh my god, Miscreants! Look out!

Go, go, go.

[Emily] I told you I was fun.

Alright. You do whatever you gotta do, Tony.

Seems like overkill to me.

Could be. Let’s do this.

[loud thud]

[Tony yelps]

Oh man. Tony. I’m sorry, man. I’m just…

I’m still trying to get the hang of this strength thing. You okay?

I’m good.

Man.

Well, I guess the injections are working ’cause I keep hurtin’ Tony.

Pill time, Mom.

Oh, thank you, honey.

I keep seeing you taking these pills, but are we ever going to see some action, or should I say, “Are we ever going to not see some action?”

You didn’t tell her?

Tell me what?

That was my last pill.

Are you kidding? I’ve had, like, thirty-five billion injections in my face and you’ve just been taking a handful of pills.

Do you feel any different? Are they working?

Well, let’s see.

[whoosh]

[Lydia] Whoa!

Oh, Em, say something, you’re freaking me out.

You gotta say something, Emily. I can’t…

Alright. Where are you? We’re gonna put a bell on you.

Just make a noise.

Em, say something. Oh!

You know what? Respect me.

[Lydia] Uh-uh.

[Tracy] Wait, Lydia. Come back.

[rock music]

[Lydia grunting]

Ah!

Welcome to the carnival, bitch!

Oh!

I am all powerful!

[Lydia cheering]

Hit it high! There you go!

Bill!

Maybe if we don’t look at her, she’ll stop.

[Lydia] Look out!

We’re past that point.

Hello, Chicago!

Oh!

Hey, Tony, I swear I’m not gunning for you, man.

I’m good.

Grab another cup.

[Lydia] He’s alright.

I’d say your training is done.

What do you mean, officially?

Yeah.

Can I take this off?

You haven’t needed that for weeks.

Shady.

I got you something.

If you’re done training, I can show you the new suits.

[heroic fanfare plays]

Now that we have these things, we need super names.

Ooh, what’s this?

Oh, I’ve been decorating for ya.

You know what? I think my super name is gonna be The Hammer.

But, Lydia, you don’t carry a hammer.

We don’t have to be so literal.

Can’t I just be Emily?

God. Nobody wants to get saved by somebody named Emily.

Oh, I got it. You’re Bingo.

That makes zero sense.

It’s a catchphrase and a name all in one neat, little package.

You can say, “Bingo! I go invisible.”

[scoffs] That just… I don’t know.

It just reminds me of the dog Bingo.

It’s not a dog, Bingo.

I mean, are you thinking “Zorro”?

♪ Zorro was his name-o ♪

That’s not correct.

We gotta think of a team name.

You know what we need? We need a little snack break, get our brain juices going again.

See, I can talk science, too. Let’s go grab a snack.

Here we go. Crater Joe.

Uh, Flapjack Crackers.

Thunder Force.

Mango flops. Did I just do it? Yeah.

Mango Flops?

What? No. Thunder Force.

That sounds kind of dude-ish.

Everything sounds stupid the first time you hear it.

Also, you can’t say it like… [mumbles] “Thunder Force.”

I didn’t say “Thunder Force.”

Then say it with something behind it, and louder. Like Thunder Force.

Thunder Force!

Right. Thunder Force.

Thunder Force!

Oh, I like it.

See? Try it.

[loudly] Thunder Force!

You don’t say… [mumbles] “1985, the Chicago Bears.”

You say… [loudly] “1985, the Chicago Bears won the Super Bowl and created one of the best albums slash singles ever, which was The Super Bowl Shuffle.”

“The Chicago Bears.”

William “The Fridge” Perry.

I loved him.

Jim McMahon had eye issues and he wore glasses.

He would take off the sunglasses, there would be magic.

♪ We’re not here To cause real trouble ♪

♪ We’re here to do The Super Bowl Shuffle ♪

Ah! We’re getting off-topic. Can you just say “Thunder Force”?

Thunder Force.

Thunder Force!

Ooh.

[beep]

Allie wants us in the garage.

Holy shit.

Language.

Can I say something?

Absolutely not.

This car makes me ovulate.

I wanna have shiny, purple Lamborghini babies.

I knew I didn’t wanna hear it.

Right, get in. We don’t have much time.

For what?

For your first mission.

Shotgun!

[Emily] That’s not what shotgun means.

Oh my god.

It’s so cool, I can’t even get the door open.

No. I’ll open it for you.

[car beeps]

The push-start key is in your suit.

Oh boy. That’s…

[Emily] Haven’t really driven this one.

[Lydia] How can you have it and not drive it?

Are they getting in that slowly on purpose?

Oh boy. That’s intimidating.

Yeah.

Maybe squeeze. Squeeze together.

[Lydia] We look awesome?

Oh my god.

Thunder Force!

You look good.

[tires screech]

[Allie] Well, Thunder Force…

Good name.

It’s a kickass name.

For the last six months, the South Side has been rampaged by a Miscreant named The Crab, who, with his crew, has been robbing stores almost daily.

Tonight, they’re hitting a liquor store on Clark Street.

The Crab? What’s his power?

Like, tasting delicious with melted butter?

[Emily and Lydia laugh]

Alright, Thunder Force.

It’s time to do what you were made to do.

Wow.

My heart’s really racing.

Oh boy.

Now that we’re going into a possible physical altercation, I’m…

Feeling my stress rising.

Mom, open the glove compartment.

Why?

I wanted you to be safe out there. I developed a high-powered taser for you.

[Lydia] Oh, taters.

That looks awesome!

Due to the electrical charge it imparts, you’ll become visible when you use it.

Ruh-roh.

Good to know. It looks powerful.

What setting should I use?

Maybe five or six?

I’d turn it all the way up.

You don’t want to kinda tase somebody and then they conk you in the melon or something.

Sounds right to me.

[taser whirs]

Oh.

Look at us.

Thunder Force.

We did, Em. We’re… we’re a super team.

Just like we used to talk about when we were kids.

Yeah.

Let’s go kick some Miscreant butt.

We need pump-up music.

Oh, yeah.

Let’s get pumped with awesome pump-up music.

Let’s get pumped!

[“Smuggler’s Blues” by Glenn Frey plays]

Is this… Glenn Frey?

In my life, every day is Frey-day.

“Smuggler’s Blues.” It kicks butt and it’s getting us pumped.

Is it?

It was number one on the charts for 11 weeks, Lydia.

I’m not saying I don’t love Glenn Frey. I love Frey.

But… there’s a time and a place for Frey.

[both singing] ♪ …Tickets Suitcase in your hand ♪

♪ Here’s a little money now ♪

♪ Do it just the way we planned ♪

♪ You be cool for 20 hours And I’ll pay you 20 grand ♪

Mom, please don’t sing into your taser.

You could let Lydia sing into it.

♪ I’m sorry it went down like this ♪

♪ Someone had to lose ♪

♪ It’s the nature of the business It’s the smuggler’s blues ♪

This is it. Pull over.

[Emily and Lydia whooping]

[song ends]

I’m gonna barf.

You gotta learn to ride the lightning.

Be careful, Mom.

You know I will.

Let’s do this.

It’s go time.

[dramatic music plays]

[dramatic music stops]

[both grunting]

We’ve gotta rethink this car.

Yeah.

Thunder Force, earpieces in. Do you copy?

I copy.

Let’s go in the back.

Time to go incognito, Bingo.

That’s not my name.

I dunno how you don’t love that name.

Are you still here?

[Emily] Yes.

Go ahead.

I was behind…

You were in front!

[man] Hurry up, go.

Everyone just stay calm and no one’s gonna get hurt.

Hey, big time. Don’t hit that button. It’s super loud.

It’s the fifth time this year. Rob someone else.

Oh, I’d love less whining.

We’re gonna rob everyone. Put money in the bag.

[Lydia] Hold it, Calamari.

This robbery’s being stopped by Thunder…

[gunshots]

Mom?

Em, are you okay?

I’m okay.

No, he’s headed right toward us.

Who said that?

[grunting]

[clattering]

Em?

I’m good.

Let’s go kick bad guy butt.

Oh my god! Here we go.

[Allie] Hammer, it is time to go on the offensive.

I know what I’m gonna do.

[Emily] What’re you doing?

I’m gonna kangaroo his ass.

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

I know. It’s a great idea.

Crab, we got a situation here.

Handle it, Kenny.

G’day, mate. [grunts]

Went better than I thought.

Little mule likes to kick.

Hi there, take it easy.

What, uh, what are you?

Well, I’m a Gemini.

What the hell are you?

You’d think Cancer but Capricorn actually, Sag moon.

And all kinds of things… rising.

Well, let’s hope so.

Lydia!

Pretty sweet jump.

[Emily] What are you doing?

I have strong thighs.

[Emily] Stop bragging about your thighs!

Does take a certain woman to look good dropping through acoustic tile.

Hmm.

[“You Belong To The City” by Glenn Frey plays]

♪ ‘Cause you belong to the city ♪

♪ You belong to the night ♪

♪ Living in a river of darkness ♪

♪ Beneath the neon light ♪

♪ You were born in the city ♪

♪ Concrete under your feet ♪

[claws clacking]

♪ It’s in your moves, it’s in your blood ♪

♪ You’re a man of the street ♪

[saxophone solo]

[Emily] Lydia!

[Emily] Lydia! Hey!

[Emily] Hey! Lydia!

[Emily] What are you doing?

Ow!

I got her, boss.

[Emily] You’re about to be Thunder Forced.

[yells]

Em, stop!

It’s not me. The taser is locked in a high voltage loop.

I can’t get it off his face!

I was trying to tell you, don’t use a high setting!

You’re cooking him from inside.

Man!

Please don’t film this, sir. This is a mistake!

Why are you still tasing me?

It’s a mistake!

Oh, that’s messed up.

I’m sorry.

“Sorry”? He was trying to kill me.

[The Crab] He’s a murderer and felon.

He deserves better.

It’s been a blast but we’re gonna hit it. Get your shit together.

Wait a minute. Nobo…

Nobody move. Nobody move.

[The Crab] What’s gonna happen? You guys stopped the heist.

You cooked the dude. You’re gonna kill us?

That’d make you as bad as a crab-man. Come on, let’s go.

You’re an embarrassment, you know that?

[clerk] Wait, wait, wait.

Are you Miscreants?

No, we’re Thunder Force.

Damn right we are.

We did it!

What’s Thunder Force?

They don’t… they don’t… Do the thing.

[both] We’re Thunder Force.

[Lydia] See? Is it still not…

It’s out of context. It’s probably still confu… We’re the good guys.

Wow.

We’re not doing it for thanks. We protect the city.

If you wanna thank me with a pickle in a bag…

Hey, you saved our lives.

You deserve a pickle bag.

Okay, so we’re out, and just know, this is gonna to be in here before we hit the Lambo.

Sorry about that.

Remember, Thunder Force.

Thunder Force saving the city, y’all.

For the first time in history, actual superheroes are fighting back against the Miscreant menace.

They call themselves “Thunder Force” and after a rocky start with a taser, they’ve been fighting crime on a regular basis in our city and getting real results.

“These are the two morons that ripped off the jewelry store on Grant Street.

We don’t want any reward, but would like to throw out the first pitch at a Cubs game.

Sincerely, Thunder Force.”

How could you not love Thunder Force?

And it seems that Chicago’s new super-team knows how to have fun.

The question is, “Is Thunder Force a match for Laser?”

In other news, Rachel Gonzales has narrowed the gap with The King in the polls.

Her progressive platform and campaign have given Gonzales a bump among voters.

Who are these two?

Where’d they get their powers?

If there are superheroes now, what do people need me for?

Tough to know.

The whole point is I’m scaring people.

Sure.

Manipulating the media into believing that you’re a problem only I can solve.

That’s how I win this stupid election.

How can we not stop two chicks in their forties?

Mid-forties at least.

At least.

Here you go, sir.

There he is. Looking better.

You look like balls.

Sorry. I’ll get some cream or something.

A lot of it. Get a lot.

Not to sound like a femme fatale, but it feels like I need to kill them.

Toss her a treat.

I like her.

What?

I like you, Laser.

But here’s what I think.

If I let you kill them now, I get heat because it looks like I couldn’t stop you.

So, I say we have a talk with them.

And if the talk goes right, it goes right, but if it goes wrong…

I kill them.

Yeah, I was gonna…

I’m not so sure they’re gonna be so easy to kill, boss.

Come here.

No, thank you. I’m okay.

No. Come, come, come.

Come on. Come on. Come here.

Come on.

Ah!

[bones cracking]

[bones crack]

[henchman gasps]

Clean that up.

[Lydia] Look at this. This is awesome. We have our own logo.

[Tracy] I designed it.

Honey, we’re legit now.

You know what? If we’ve got a logo this cool, we are ready for a theme song.

Like an anthem. Like David Lee Roth, Jon Bon Jovi.

They come down, lay down some lyrics.

I’ll play guitar. Right after I learn how to play guitar.

Uh, do you remember the high school talent show?

Girl, why…

Get behind me.

[intense music plays]

There’s a handle, you know.

Oops, couldn’t find it.

Stand down.

This is a social visit. Otherwise, you’d already be, you know, dead.

You two are working together? Of course.

It’s all been a setup.

I bet The Crab works for you too, huh.

Are you rounding up all the Miscreants?

Look at that. You really are smart.

Sweet. Yeah, I’m kind of unionizing them.

Someday, all Miscreants will work for me.

Tracy, will you let Allie know we have guests?

Okay.

Was Allie the, uh, the bossy girl with all the rules?

Hey, she’s unconscious in the hallway.

Knocked her out when we fried security.

Anyway, you’re changing the narrative of the election, and I can’t have that, so I could always use a couple of Miscreants or superheroes or whatever it is you two are.

I could definitely use your muscle as I expand operations here.

And I could probably use whatever it is that you do, too.

I think.

What if we just say no?

What if I pick you two up and smack ya together like castanets, huh?

Maybe we start telling people what’s going on.

I’m gonna win this election and become mayor, and then I’m gonna win other elections until I’m president, and then I’ll be pulling all the strings.

Huh.

You’ve got family here in town, don’t you, Bongo?

It’s Bingo.

I don’t care.

I don’t know why I’m defending that name.

Not now.

Come on, lady-girls.

What side of history you wanna be on?

I’m not scared of you.

Can’t wait to kill you both.

Oh…

What?

I wasn’t done.

I’m right here.

Sure, okay.

Can’t wait to kill you both.

All that for the same line…

Can’t wait to kill you both.

Especially you, Bingo.

You just… You gotta work on your act a little bit. There we go.

She always walk that slow?

That’s gotta drive you nuts, right?

Bye. Thanks for coming.

Don’t antagonize them.

I get nervous.

[Laser] Here, to the right.

We gotta go check on Grandma.

Okay. Let’s go.

[Grandma] Lydia, would you say grace, please?

Yeah.

Dear God, bless this food and the hands that prepared it.

Uh, you know, thanks for being super cool and stuff.

So, keep kicking butt and, uh, peace out.

Amen.

Amen.

Amen.

Uh, Grandma, have you, um, given any more thought to letting me get you a place in a safer neighborhood?

Why would I?

This has been my home for a long time, and it’ll do me until the end.

Please don’t talk like that.

I dig it, Grandma. Morality, right?

It’s mortality.

It’s what?

Mortality.

That’s what I said.

You said morality.

I’m… What are you saying?

Mortality.

You’re just putting extra Ts in it, Morta-ta-ta-tality.

I am so happy to see you girls getting along again. So nice.

And where is my great-granddaughter?

She’s at work.

She’s a hard worker just like her mom.

Can you keep a secret?

You better not keep secrets from me.

We shouldn’t tell her.

Why not? We should probably tell somebody. She probably knows.

Lydia…

We’re…

Oh, this is amazing.

Oh, please let it be true.

I have been praying for this day.

Praying for what?

Really?

[Grandma] For this moment.

For you two to tell me that you’re a couple.

I always knew you were right for each other.

[Lydia chuckling]

[Grandma cooing]

[Lydia] Yeah, um…

Wow, that’s…

I have been saving it for this very moment.

[Grandma laughing happily]

I’ve got Michelle Obama arms.

You really do. Your arms look amazing.

Which one am I?

Okay, you know…

Uh, wow, that’s a… that’s a lot to unpack.

[Lydia] You know, I think we both prefer…

You know, dudes.

You don’t have to look so disappointed.

I can’t help it.

You could at least try.

What? Now? You gotta woo me.

I thought that was it.

But if the secret is you’re Thunder Force, you must think I don’t watch the news. You’re a meme now.

Well…

Uh, Grandma that’s kind of why we’re here.

You could be in danger.

At least move into our building.

Even if it’s just temporarily.

I’m not going anywhere.

Those people out there killed my daughter, took your parents from you, ruined this city.

Now I want you two strong women to go out there, kick butt like the superheroes you are, and you don’t stop until the job is done.

Okay.

And only on that day when the city is free from Miscreants, can you two have a wedding.

[Grandma laughing happily]

Boom!

Come on, eat. It’s getting cold.

[overlapping chatter, laughter]

[crowd cheering, clapping]

Hello, Chicago, thank you for being here.

I won’t take up too much of your time.

I just want you to know…

No sign of Laser.

[Tracy] Keep your eyes open.

Whoo.

This suit is getting ripe. I gotta wash it.

You can’t wash it.

Are you kidding?

How am I supposed to keep it fresh?

I need to work on that.

Yeah, you do.

Quickly.

…for the rights and safety of every last one of you.

[cheering]

[all chanting] Rachel!

Let’s give it up for our new super-team who’s out protecting our city every night.

Thunder Force!

[cheering, applause]

How’s it going, Chicago?

Exciting news, Thunder Force is available for selfies for the low price of $100.

“What? That seems so cheap.” “It sure does.”

Um, we do not take selfies, and if we did, they’d be free.

And they are free.

They’re free with a $100 donation.

[crowd chanting] Thunder Force!

[Lydia] Stop!

Stop, stop, you guys, stop!

We can’t take it. Now how do we roll, Chicago?

[crowd] Like thunder!

How do we roll?

Like thunder!

[Lydia] How do we roll? How do we roll?

[crowd chanting] Like thunder!

[reporter] One thing we’ve been covering, early exit polling.

We are watching the minute-by-minute examples that are coming into us here at the station.

Leading up to the breaking news, we will have…

Maybe we should just turn that off.

[Kenny] I think so.

Hey, chief, you got concealer on? Is that what that is?

Well, yeah. I moisturized it and tried to touch it up a bit.

Is it helping?

Not really.

Go make a snack. He doesn’t need to look at this.

I’m not hungry.

Preferably something with aloe.

Okay.

Find an aloe plant and chew on that.

[clears throat]

Hi!

[The Crab] Ah!

Never not funny.

[chuckles]

So, how am I doing?

With the, uh…

I don’t know. I’m not watching. You shouldn’t watch either.

Maybe just go make a pot of that and enjoy.

[reporter 2] …protecting our city, Thunder Force!

[cheering]

Thunder Force’s recent endorsement of Rachel Gonzales gave her a bump at the polls.

Andrew.

Yeah.

Does this side look the same as this?

No.

Can you tell which? One side has a small scab.

No, a large scab.

Shit.

[reporter 2] We have breaking news. We are ready to call the election.

Rachel Gonzales will be the next mayor of Chicago.

And this is a major…

The King doesn’t lose!

[reporter 1] …The King’s full reaction.

God damn it, sir.

That was Kenny. Good member of the team.

He shouldn’t have been there.

Your eyes are doing the weird thing. Can we get you drops?

I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.

That Thunder Force, they’re everywhere.

Someone needs to kill ’em. They have to be dead.

Will you stop doing that, please?

I’m not some little kid throwing a tantrum!

I’m very frustrated.

And even though I killed that guy before, it was kind of an accident, so…

Kill that guy.

How do you feel now?

Yeah, better. But not great. But better.

You know, boss, I, uh… I validate your feelings.

Your feelings are your feelings, but tactically speaking I don’t think it’s smart to be killing off our best crew members.

Was that Walter she just zapped?

Yeah.

Walter was even better than Kenny.

Crap, I didn’t know…

I liked Walter.

Yeah.

What’s his name?

The one left standing? That’s Andy. Andy, can you say hi?

It’s actually Andrew, but Andy’s fine.

Just the hi.

Hi.

I don’t like that guy.

Next time, kill And… What do you prefer? Andrew? Andy?

Either one. At work it’s more professional to go by Andrew.

My mom calls me Andy.

Andy-Pandy, but seems too familiar as I say it out loud.

Lacrosse had three Andrews. They called me Drew.

My coach called me by my middle name, Andy.

Alright.

My mom’s new boyfriend loves Andrew Lloyd Webber.

So, he just calls me Paul.

Enough.

Next time kill Andrew.

Got it. What’s our next move?

Well, as I like to say, when life gives you lemons, make…

[both] …lemon-flavored napalm.

It’s the greatest saying.

Call a news conference.

Will do.

Clean that up, Andy-rew.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Whatever.

[The King] I believe in democracy.

I lost to the better candidate tonight and as a gesture of goodwill, I’m gonna host a celebration for mayor-elect Gonzales and the great city of Chicago.

Because this city deserves what’s coming to it.

A party!

Thank you.

[reporters murmuring]

[Frank] Pancakes on the house.

Look. Business has picked up thanks to you two.

So, thank you, Lydia, Emily.

Welcome.

Those suits are great.

Right?

Wish I had one.

Alright. Enjoy.

Thanks.

Yeah. How about a toast to the good guys winning the election?

Let’s not celebrate too fast.

The King’s not throwing a party out of the goodness of his heart.

Yeah.

Excuse me. I’m gonna wash my hands up.

Not washing her hands. She’s going to the can.

God knows what she’s doing. I don’t wanna know.

Sometimes I can’t picture certain people doing certain things.

Know what I mean? Like Obama vacuuming or Eleanor Roosevelt flossing…

[explosion]

[high-pitched ringing]

[muffled groaning]

[muffled clamoring]

Em, are you okay?

What happened?

Are you okay?

[sinister music plays]

Are you okay?

Frank, stay down.

Stay down.

I thought The King wanted to talk things through.

I’ve been let off the leash.

You need to work on your phrasing, because in that scenario, you just made yourself the dog.

I’m surprised you ding-dongs lived through the first blast.

You’re stronger than I thought.

Maybe you’re weaker than you thought.

I’m…

Not…

Weak!

Did she call us ding-dongs?

Get a shovel. I’m gonna bury that bitch.

[grunting]

No! We just fixed that door!

Frank, be qui…

[Frank moaning]

[Frank] Please, no…

I could hit harder, but I don’t wanna kill you, but you will stop hurting my friends!

[car horn honking]

Bye-bye, nerds.

Wack job.

[engine revs]

Stop! Everyone off the bus now!

Stay here, Frank. Lydi!

What the hell happened?

Thunder Force needs this.

Lydia, no. Do not throw that bus.

Lydia!

I got it!

No, they’re too far away! Do not!

I can’t hear you because I’m literally throwing a bus!

Dads, that lady just threw a bus.

My god, I just threw a bus.

Of course, you did. You don’t think before you act.

You always do the stupid thing.

You could’ve hurt someone.

You know how dangerous that was?

I’m sorry. I messed up. I was trying to stop her.

Dang it. You always get carried away.

Ever since we were kids.

You understand this isn’t a game? We have a job to do.

I have dedicated my life to stopping Miscreants and here you are acting like one.

I didn’t see you trying anything to stop her except disappearing, which, by the way, you’ve been doing since before you got your power.

You know what? I should have both powers because I’d know how to use them.

Whatever you say. You’re always right.

You’re the special one, not me. Right, Em?

Crap doodles!

[Emily grunts]

[reporter] In their attempt to stop Laser, Thunder Force destroyed a bus and Buckingham Fountain, raising the question, are we better off with Thunder Force?

[Emily] Trace?

We’ll have more as the story…

[Emily] Hey.

What are you reading?

Oh.

Molecular Thermodynamics of Complex Systems.

Oh, I love that one.

Can I read it after you finish?

Sure.

Are you okay, Mom?

Uh… I’m, uh… I’m okay, honey.

Just… working through some stuff with Lydia.

I know. She called me.

Of course, she did.

You guys get along okay, huh?

I like her.

She’s weird and she’s funny and we talk about a lot of stuff.

You think I don’t talk to you enough?

Am I too tough on you?

I’ve just… I’ve always wanted to make it so other people, so you…

Didn’t have to grow up the way I did.

Afraid?

Yeah.

I’m so sorry, honey.

[Emily] I miss my mom and dad every day, but I’ve been so consumed with righting a wrong that I’ve…

Oh, I’ve missed out on so much of our time together.

I’m gonna change that.

You do great.

You’re too hard on yourself, and Lydia too.

She’s been your friend for a long time. Even when you didn’t want her to be.

[scoffs]

She’s always been a bit of a hurricane.

She’s a good person.

I know she is.

But she threw a bus.

Yeah, but in her defense, she was trying to stop the bad guys, right?

She was.

Also, she really wanted to throw a bus.

[both laughing]

You’re too much.

Oh, I’m so proud of you.

Did she say where she was going?

On a date.

That’s Lydia for you.

Always finding time to have fun.

[The Crab] Swimming is what I try to focus on.

[Lydia] Is it?

Yeah.

[Lydia] You got the shoulders for it.

I am very surprised that you reached out to me.

Especially since I thought that you might be dead.

It wasn’t for lack of trying, right?

That psycho Laser really put her back into trying to kill us.

It was a surprise you made it out alive.

Lot of people don’t live to tell the tale.

She just… She loves killing people.

Just loves it. So boring.

I guess I got lucky. I’m built like a Sherman tank.

Mmm.

The suits are very resilient.

I mean, they do not smell good.

Wow, they don’t smell good. But very resilient.

You smell good to me.

Yeah. Which, you know, is surprising, ’cause I don’t have a sense of smell that good, ever since the, you know… Since the accident.

If it’s not too… too much, too soon, what happened?

Oh, well, I was on my honeymoon in Bermuda, and my then-wife, she says, “Jer, how about we go skinny-dip snorkeling?”

And, uh, I say, “That sounds fun. Let’s go buns up.”

We took off our clothes, jumped in the water, and what we didn’t know is we were over a radioactive coral reef.

Is that right?

And up jumps a radioactive crab, bites me in the genitals.

Oh, man.

Rest is history.

She immediately left me.

Her loss.

Anyway, I went into a life of crime.

I don’t know, it brings up some kinda questions.

You tell me that story. Are you… I mean, are you fully a Miscreant or…

Not crazy about labels.

But I do get that a lot.

Yeah.

What I usually… I say I’m a Half-creant.

Half-Korean.

Half-creant.

I thought you said half-Korean.

You’re not the first one to… Yeah, but no.

Either one would be wildly interesting, but Half-creant… I like that.

Yeah. Yeah.

I thought we had a real nice connection there at the liquor store.

You know, I don’t know if it’s…

Because I got a lot of family up and down the East Coast or…

Oh, yeah?

Maybe it’s the smell of Old Bay has always kind of…

Just done something to me.

Kind of made me warm and fuzzy.

It’s a great smell.

I look at you and I just think somewhere inside those kind of yoked, strong…

Glistening shells, is the heart of a really good man-crab.

How about a toast, huh? To me, right?

To you.

Come here.

It’s…

Hang on one sec.

Can I get you a little…

No, I’m not a child.

Sometimes I do need to drink it like it’s cocoa.

Yep. Me too.

They’re super powerful. But let’s try it.

Cheers to me, huh?

[shattering]

Oh.

[patrons murmur]

Son of a bitch! [loudly] God damn it!

Oh, don’t be rude. Eat your dinner. Thank you.

[Lydia] Show’s over.

I keep thinking I’ve got a handle on it.

I should stick with shot glasses and things get easier for me.

Thank you.

Thanks for that.

You got a… a weak glass there.

Hey, there. Thank you, Carl. We’ll clean that right up.

Happens all the time. Any decisions on food?

Well…

If you’re looking for suggestions, my favorite appetizer to share, personally, is the petite seafood tower.

It has everything.

Has crab claws, Dungeness crab, snow crab, tiger prawns…

I didn’t know we were getting food and entertainment.

It is fun!

Jimmy Jokes.

Hey, are you pitching the tower, the seafood tower to a half-crab?

Jesus.

Recommending that to me, huh? [laughs]

That takes a lot of stones.

What is this, the cannibal table?

You gonna offer me a 32-year-old woman named Lydia?

Because I’m 32.

I believe it and I won’t offer you that. I’ll be sensible next time.

Connect with your guests better.

I am so sorry, sir. I didn’t see your pincers.

[The Crab] I apologize for raising my voice, but I got bit on the ball bag by a radioactive crab, and I used to love shellfish.

So, my fuse is a little short. This is a trigger environment for me.

I understand.

Okay.

I’m gonna need a minute. Why don’t you take off?

No problem.

They’re just jealous.

‘Cause of who I’m sitting with maybe.

Anything on that menu look good?

I was thinking about chicken, but I was afraid you might be half-chicken.

Ha. No, no. Just crab and man.

A lot of man. I was gonna order the chicken too, but unfortunately, I like my chicken the way you get it in the crab traps, and that’s raw.

[gasps]

[romantic music plays]

What happened?

I just got…

Do you like raw chicken, too?

Ever since…

Kind of what I’ve gone through, physically, I’ve had a kind of insatiable…

Craving for raw chicken myself.

Come here.

[“Voyage to Atlantis” by the Isley Brothers plays]

So, you tracked me down, you know?

What do you wanna know?

I just need to know whose side you’re on.

♪ Can I go on my way without you? ♪

Uh-oh.

What are you doin’?

I’m just butterin’ your knuckle.

[song fades away]

I know things are weird between us because we had harsh words.

Yes, because I threw the city bus even though you said, “Do not.”

And it didn’t make it any better than whatever the city bus thing did.

It’s gonna cost a million dollars and I wish I’d stop talking.

I’m like, worse than Tom in accounting who’s like, “My ledger.”

He always smells like old lady liniment or like an old lady chafing and now I’m almost worse than Tom, if that’s possible.

Tom, I’m gonna have to call you back.

[Tom] No problem.

Tom, just ki… Gotcha! April Fools.

Just not in April. [laughs] Is he gone?

He’s gone.

[groans]

It’s, uh, so much more money than a million bucks.

More?

It’s okay. I’m gonna cover it.

And no one was hurt. Somehow.

Yeah.

I heard you were on a date.

It was really more of a fact-finding mission.

I… I found out what The King is up to.

And that little party he’s throwing, it’s just like a group funeral.

He’s gonna take those people that didn’t vote for him, put ’em in a building, blow it to smithereens.

How did you get this information?

Hmm?

Who told you?

The King’s lost it since the election. I’m gonna get out of the game.

[spluttering] Who… Who told you? What?

What happened to your buttons?

[buttons popping]

Ooh, that’s a great start. Yep. Ooh.

The Crab?

You’re saying it negatively.

The Crab? Oh my… The Crab?

Now, I…

I knew you were lookin’ at him weird.

Don’t point at me! Don’t point at me! Don’t judge-y point at me.

Did you get surf and turfed?

[gasps]

Surf and turf is not a thing. But I did.

What did I find?

What is that? Did you take that from the restaurant, you little outlaw?

Of course not. I always keep an Old Bay in my bra.

You never know when you have to season something tasty.

That’s tender. Don’t forget Mr. Right.

I couldn’t forget about him. Believe it.

Powder, Mommy.

I’m gonna throw you in that hot tub and have myself a low-country boil!

He was… Don’t.

He was, you know, very charming.

And he’s very good with his…

[Emily laughing]

[Lydia clicking tongue]

Honey! He’s a crab!

I know, but I love crab.

I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I really think we can trust him.

I don’t know we should be getting info from a Miscreant.

Well, he’s Half-creant.

Half-Korean?

No. That’s what I said. Not “half-Korean,” he’s a “Half-creant.”

There’s something about him.

Somewhere in there, he’s a good guy.

Coming from me, that might not mean much, because of the bus, and, you know, I barged in here and took your power, which is probably the cooler power, even before I said it wasn’t, but it kind of is.

Oh, Lydi…

Sometimes I don’t know if I’m mad at you because you always go crazy or if I’m really just mad at myself because…

I never do.

Well, we can’t both be nuts.

Let’s just figure out how we can stop The King.

I know you can do anything you put that big brain to.

I mean, look at me.

You made a loser into something special.

Lydi…

Even though I was dumb enough to let us drift apart, you’ve always been special.

Thanks, Em.

Not to kill the mood, but Allie’s been listening to your entire conversation.

She says you need to wrap up this “after-school special,” suit up, and meet her in the tech room. Immediately.

Let’s go.

[Allie] Bingo, we’ll get you in through a back entrance.

Once you’re in and can determine where the bomb is, Hammer will follow in, get the bomb, and get it out of the building, where it can be properly disarmed.

[Allie] Can you read me?

[Lydia] Hammer down.

[Emily] What does that mean?

It’s lingo for “Yep.”

[Allie] Get into position by the door and wait for my signal.

This could take a while.

Would you go get me more coffee? I wanna be alert.

[“Kiss From A Rose” by Seal playing faintly]

[Lydia] You hearing music?

It’s Seal. I programmed him into the suit.

Em, we’re on a mission here.

You think I don’t know that?

[Emily] There are thousands of lives in danger and we’re stuck and I’m nervous.

Okay.

We have to succeed, Lydi.

This will give us the relaxed focus to finish the mission.

What do I know? I’m nervous too.

I do have to admit, the song’s got a good hook.

[both singing along] ♪ There used to be A graying tower alone on the sea ♪

♪ You became ♪

♪ You became The light on the dark side of me ♪

Do you have eyes on them? Answer me.

Watch your mouth. You made a deal with The King, not with me.

They are on the loading dock on the south side of the building.

The next right. Other right.

Hurry up! They’re not gonna stand there all night.

[clang]

♪ Baby ♪

Wow, you’re bad.

♪ Kiss from a rose on… ♪

Get away from the door, now!

[explosion]

[Lydia] Ah!

You okay?

Allie double-crossed us.

The King paid her off. She was leading Laser right to you.

Your singing sucks.

You know, killing people is not a recognized hobby.

I can’t knit.

Time to die!

Time to take out the trash.

Holy crap!

Some people just deserve a dumpster.

This was a set-up.

Allie’s knocked out. Security’s on the way.

I gotta come help.

It’s not safe. Stay home.

I’m on my way.

[Emily] Tracy?

Let’s go.

Who’s ready to hear from our next mayor?

[applause, cheering]

I have a cold, a cold, that’s why I’m not touching…

Thank you. Well, thank you, Mr. King.

It’s The… It’s “The” King.

It’s “The” King. “King” is a dog’s name. Okay?

Okay.

[microphone feedback]

Oh, is this…

Sorry. Crushin’ it.

Is this thing… Can you… Okay. Thank you.

Have a good time.

Thank you…

It’s gonna be a blast!

[scattered laughter from audience]

[applause]

This is an excellent example of how together, we can revitalize…

Boom.

…the city of Chicago.

Through collaboration and cooperation, we can…

Use your big brain, Em. Where would he hide the bomb?

The party’s on the 30th floor, there’d be security there.

And the basement’s so far away.

But wait, Rachel Gonzales’ campaign office is on the 29th floor.

That’s why he picked this building.

[ding]

Where the hell is Laser?

She should be here by now.

From where?

From killing Thunder Force.

Yeah.

She told me she’s gonna make ’em into s’mores, which…

The timing is great because they’re really startin’ to bug me.

Yeah.

You know, I don’t really like this new “crab with a conscience” bit.

I like my crab with a little hollandaise sauce, maybe a parsley garnish.

We’re good in that.

Do we have a problem?

We don’t have a problem. All is good. Let’s slaughter them all.

Kill those sons of bitches…

[wheezing] Thanks for the help.

[The Crab coughs]

Kenny, call her.

You’ve killed Kenny.

I… I did?

Yep.

Who’s left?

Andrew’s left.

Yeah, I can call, sir.

Fine.

Oh, ca… Okay, yeah. Sorry.

Uh, Laser, do you copy?

[Andrew] Do you copy?

Yeah, kind of.

What’s she saying?

Hmm?

The red-head threw a dumpster.

A red-head threw a dumpster at her.

What? Well, did they get away? Where… where are they?

Put her on speaker phone!

Andrew, you idiot!

Laser, where are they?

No idea. Probably going after the bomb.

After all that.

Hang up, you stupid…

Down! Hang it up! Moron!

We gotta go back up. Let’s end this. Hit 29.

Ah, so close.

Twenty…

I know, they’re not made for, um…

It’ll take us a while. Okay.

Twenty-nine! I’m surrounded by idiots.

Sorry.

[elevator dings]

If you were a narcissistic megalomaniac, where would you hide a bomb?

My guess is a place of power. Her office, maybe.

[The King] Well, well…

Evening, ladies. I’m assuming you’re both here.

I gotta tell you, I’m bummed you’re not dead.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, King.

Okay, it’s “The” King. Okay?

“The King!” It’s three letters! Why doesn’t anybody get this?

It’s not tough.

“The King.” Like, “The Boss.”

You on my left?

[The King] “The man.”

“The bomb.”

Nice, sir.

[The King] Thanks. The big, beautiful bomb.

You didn’t think I was gonna let nagging chicks get their hands on my big, beautiful bomb, did you?

You know what they say about men who claim to have big, big bombs.

Little, tiny fuses.

Uh-oh.

Ladies, meet the henchmen.

Hi, I’m Andy or Andrew. Either one.

[gunshots ricocheting]

Who was that? Was that Andrew?

[The Crab] Yeah.

Damn it! I wanted to kill Andrew.

Enough with the bullets.

Come on, Thunder Force. I’m ready to get my hands dirty.

Of course. He’s a Miscreant, too.

I thought you were just run-of-the-mill dirtbag, but you’re a Miscreant dirtbag.

You buried the lead on that one, Jerry.

You’re a waste of butter, Crab.

I didn’t grab the butter.

I got a job to do, so let’s get this over with.

Yeah.

Let’s dance, dummy.

[intense music playing]

[both yelling]

He’s stronger than I thought…

[both grunting]

[clip clatters]

File you under “trash!”

She’s got a real sexy violent streak.

[taser discharging]

[taser discharging]

[taser discharging]

What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue? Enjoy the ride!

Lydi!

[elevator dings]

[ominous music plays]

Peekaboo.

Lydi!

Oh, shit!

[Emily grunts]

I have this signature move. It’s kind of a hug-of-death thing.

[grunts]

You’re gonna love it.

What’s that smell?

It’s the suits, we can’t wash them.

Terrible!

This is set to extra-crispy, you donut hole.

Bye-bye, nerd!

She’s not a nerd. She’s smart.

There’s a difference.

Tracy, what have you done?

What I had to do, Mom.

“Mom”?

You mean, I get a crack at a family kill?

You hardly ever get that chance.

But first, you.

Pretty strong for a girl, but not strong enough.

[claws snapping]

Hands off.

Jerry…

No problem.

Mother…

Traitor!

Bottom feeder!

[triumphant music plays]

Batter up, King!

It’s “The” Ki…

Whoa.

That one’s outta the park!

I wish you hadn’t done that. Are you okay?

You guys needed help.

Jerry, you good?

Yeah, good.

Where’s the bomb?

Corner office.

Got it.

Love an ambulance.

Or a vet, you know?

Marine biologist…

[Lydia] Whoa.

Somebody’s an overachiever.

Can you disarm it?

Not with the time we have left. It’ll have trip wires all over it.

I could set it off.

[exhales] Good to know.

Well, let me try. Maybe it’ll work.

No, no, I can do it.

I’m super-fast now. I can just run it out of town.

Look, we don’t know how stable it’ll be with your speed.

You’ve already saved us once today.

Your grandparents would be so proud.

But if you think I’m gonna let you touch that bomb, you’re out of your mind.

Wait.

Don’t do anything crazy.

Nah. I’ve actually thought this one through.

First time for everything.

No, Lydia.

I can’t toss it out the window, people could get hurt.

You know my body can take the impact.

I know we don’t have a lot of time, so let me say this.

If this goes bad, I wanna thank you for being my friend.

You know, people wondered why we were friends ’cause we’re nothing alike,

but I always knew you were gonna change the world.

[emotional music plays]

You’re the best person I ever met.

Till I met your kid.

Listen to what your mom says.

I wish I always had.

[stifles sob] I should go.

If the bomb explodes and we’re just standing here, that’d be weird.

Lydi…

Lydi!

[poignant music plays]

[Emily] Lydia!

[wind rushing]

[explosion]

No…

[police sirens wailing]

Oh, no, no… stop! Stop!

Lydi?

Oh, no! Lydia!

Lydia? Oh my god…

[Emily] Lydi…

I’m sorry.

[gagging]

[retching]

[wet squelching]

[Lydia gagging]

Oh, I’m sorry.

[Emily] Oh!

I barfed river water on you.

That was so much.

I really, really, really love this suit.

I really love it, and I don’t even care if it’s stinky anymore.

[Tracy laughs]

We’re just so happy you’re alive.

I love you guys.

We love you, honey.

Help her up.

Oh god, help a girl up!

[cheering]

[triumphant music plays]

Quite a reaction.

Thunder Force, I wanna thank you, and the city of Chicago wants to thank you for your tremendous bravery.

Thank you, Mayor.

Yes.

Where’s The King?

In custody. Alive.

You did it, Em.

You brought a Miscreant to justice.

You finished the work your parents started.

What about Laser?

We’re still lookin’.

When you catch her, and before she goes to prison, can I have a couple minutes? I wanna cut that ponytail off.

Is that a Samson and Delilah thing?

I just think she’ll look really dumb with the short hai… [retches]

Okay, I think I’m done.

May I empty your shoes?

No, no, no, they’re fine.

Okay, sorry.

I just… This might be an awkward time to ask you, but I wonder if your team would like to make an official arrangement with the city.

Uh, yeah.

Uh, yeah. Right?

Oh, that we would.

Perfect.

The press is ready for a statement.

Thank you.

Ladies. Thank you.

Bye.

Thank you, Mayor.

I’ll drive us home.

You have to sit on my lap or get in the trunk.

Oh. Psh. I’ll race you home.

Why can’t I drive?

They just pulled you out of a river.

Last time I got pulled out of the river, I drove right away.

[crowd chanting] Thunder Force!

[continuing chanting] Thunder Force!

What? What?

We got you, Chicago!

[“You Belong To The City” plays]

Oh.

You remembered.

Pretty romantic. Look at that.

Look at you get after it.

Let me at least… feed you.

Thank you.

Come on. Knock-knock.

[slurps]

That’s a good girl. Right down the hatch.

Mmm!

Oh god…

Make room for more.

Oh, my turn? Oh, mmm.

Or our turn.

Yeah. Oh? Yeah?

[both slurping]

[rock music plays]

[chanting] Thunder Force! Thunder Force! Thunder Force! Thunder Force!

Thunder Force!

♪ Night falls, reality is shaking ♪

♪ No time to make a new mistake ♪

♪ So tighten your fist And double it up ♪

♪ Enough is enough ♪

♪ Don’t be afraid to be What they’re afraid of ♪

♪ They mean to make their meaning ♪

♪ Their meaning ♪

♪ So get ready When it’s time to start believing ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Just fight back When your life is torn asunder ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Lightning never strikes If you can’t force the thunder ♪

♪ Oh, is it so concerning Here we go ♪

♪ The hardest part is learning ♪

♪ Square your stance and give ’em a stare Act like you do when nobody’s there ♪

♪ This is the chance To be what they’re afraid of ♪

♪ They mean to break the world ♪

♪ The world ♪

♪ So get ready when it’s time To be the one in control ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Just fight back When your life is torn asunder ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Lightning never strikes If you can force the thunder ♪

♪ We are not conceding ♪

♪ Looks can be deceiving ♪

♪ In your darkest hour ♪

♪ Show them you have the power ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

[singers vocalizing]

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Just fight back When your life is torn asunder ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Lightning never strikes If you can force the thunder ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Lightning never strikes If you can force the thunder ♪

♪ Thunder Force, Thunder Force ♪

♪ Thunder Force ♪

♪ Thunder ♪

[rock song ends]

[closing instrumental music plays]

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