Willy’s Wonderland (2021) – Transcript

A quiet drifter is tricked into a janitorial job at the now condemned Willy's Wonderland. The mundane tasks suddenly become an all-out fight for survival against wave after wave of demonic animatronics.
Nicolas Cage in Willy's Wonderland

A quiet loner (Nic Cage) finds himself stranded in a remote town when his car breaks down. Unable to pay for the repairs he needs, he agrees to spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland, an abandoned family fun center. But this wonderland has a dark secret that the “The Janitor” is about to discover. He soon finds himself trapped inside Willy’s and locked in an epic battle with the possessed animatronic mascots that roam the halls. To survive, he must fight his way through each of them.

 

 

 

[sweeping music]

♪ ♪

[intense music]

Hey, kids. You know what time it is?

It’s birthday time!

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ It’s your birthday ♪ [creature growls]

♪ And we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

Okay now, kids, clap your hands like there’s no tomorrow.

♪ We welcome you to Willy’s where everyone’s your friend ♪

That’s right.

♪ Here at Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ The good times never end ♪

[creature snarls]

[growls]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[growls]

[screams]

Carl!

♪ ♪

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

Okay now, kids, clap your hands like there’s no tomorrow.

♪ We welcome you to Willy’s where everyone’s your friend ♪

[screams]

[intense music]

[engine revving]

♪ ♪

[tires squeal]

♪ ♪

[tires pop]

[brakes squeal]

[air whistling out of tires]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[crows cawing]

[chains rattling]

♪ ♪

Ah.

♪ ♪

Yeah, I tell everybody that attempts the 50, there ain’t shit out here, but you gotta be prepared for anything.

A bunch of fun-loving kids stole the zigzag out of the back of the sheriff’s pickup a month ago.

Guess you found it for ’em. [laughs]

You know what some folks consider funny?

Just ruin a man’s whole damn day.

God’s honest truth.

Now, where’d you say you’re from?

Oh, you’re one of those guys that don’t wanna look back, huh?

You’re one where the past lives in the past, huh?

Yeah, I understand. No, I can’t blame you.

I mean, we all got so much baggage.

I just say, move forward.

You’re a rolling stone. Yup.

We had a car chase around here a while back.

Some boy got up to 150 miles an hour, just launched it right off Tension’s Peak, man.

It’s like a superhero. It went fwoom!

Carnage was terrible. It was just… wow.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

[siren wails]

Oh, fuck me.

♪ ♪

[engine revving]

Will you just stop it?

Open the door!

I’ll open the damn door.

What the hell is wrong with you?

No! God damn it.

Hey Jed, what’s up?

This old boy had the misfortune of finding your zigzags out there.

I figured I’d bring ’em back to you.

He all right?

Yeah, he’ll be all right.

Tire’s not, but he’ll be fine.

He had this pretty Camaro right here.

Yes, yes, it was that ocean blue…

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Jed, I’ll come by and get ’em later.

All turning around, spinning out, everything.

He just slid right in there and then pop, pop…

I don’t have time for this today, okay?

Yes, ma’am.

[engine turns over]

Take this off me.

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

There’s not a chance in hell I’m letting you out of this trailer tonight.

I hate you.

Oh, talk sweet to me all you want.

Get down. You know the drill. Get down.

Get out of my way.

Come here.

What the hell are you doing?

Wait.

I’ll be back in the morning.

What… how the hell am I supposed to eat?

How am I supposed to take a piss?

There are chips is on the coffee table and a bucket on the floor.

Try not to make a mess.

You’re a bitch.

Oh, I love you too.

[smooches]

♪ ♪

[tense musical stings]

Hey, it’s gonna be about $250 for the tow, and we’ll need all four tires replaced.

And there was something wrong with that chip, I think.

But I can fix it for about $1,000.

Yep.

No, cash only. Uh-uh, no. And in advance.

Yeah, I don’t take no plastic credit cards.

Oh, that over there. [chuckles]

Yeah, we ain’t got no internet in Hayesville.

Yeah, so all the ATMs, they just don’t work.

Yeah, we were gonna get it, but they just didn’t.

[laughs]

You ain’t got the cash, huh?

Now ain’t that a dilly of a pickle?

Hmm.

You willing to work it off?

Okay, then.

I think I’ve got somebody who can accommodate.

[keypad beeping] [line rings]

Hey, kid.

I got a guy for you.

[train whistle blows]

You want god to laugh, you tell him your plans.

[laughs]

Howdy there, partner.

My name is Tex, same as the state.

Got the handle Macadoo.

Welcome to Willy’s Wonderland.

Yeah, he don’t talk much.

And I respect that.

I enjoy a man of few words.

Well, business is not what it used to be, but I am fixing to reopen and make Willy’s better than ever.

Anyway, enough horseshit. Here’s my offer.

You spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland and I will pay to have your car fixed.

I go on in tomorrow, you come out of there, and your ride will be ready for you right there.

Deal?

[tense music]

♪ ♪

If not, I got places to be.

[chuckles]

All right. All right. [chuckles]

Let’s go inside.

Good luck, mister.

[door squeaks]

Watch your step.

Check this out.

Hey kids, it’s Willy the Weasel.

Welcome to my wonderland.

Come on down and meet the gang.

We’ve got Arty the Alligator, Siren Sara, Cammy the Chameleon, Gus Gorilla, Knighty Knight, Ozzie the Ostrich, and Tito the Turtle.

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

We had some great times.

Kids laughing, smiling, eating hot dogs, opening presents.

♪ ♪

You know the story, right?

Well, some of these little bastards start crawling over the characters, they get hurt.

A couple of lawsuits later from Mommy Safety Organizations and wham, bam, thank you ma’am, we’re out of business.

Shut us right down.

♪ ♪

Damn thing always gets jammed.

[sighs]

Yeah.

This stuff oughta do the trick.

Broom, mop, bucket, drain snake, Windex, rags, whatever you need, we got it.

Oh, lookee here.

Congratulations.

You are officially on staff.

[sighs]

Well, pal, it’s gonna be dark soon.

I’ll be back in the morning with that car of yours dapper and ready to drive or my name is not Tex Macadoo.

[chuckles]

Help yourself to whatever you can find in the kitchen.

It’s on the house.

And be sure to take breaks.

Always good to pace yourself.

That’s it. Good luck.

[exhales] Damn.

I thought you quit.

My last one.

[sighs] Piece of shit.

All right, let’s get the hell outta here.

I can’t stand to hear a grown man scream.

Liv, you in there?

Oh, shit.

Yeah, I’m in here. Can you help me out?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, calm down, dude.

No need to be a superhero.

Oh!

Oh, my God.

Oh, damn it! Oh!

Nice one, genius. The door was unlocked.

How am I supposed to know that?

Oh, shit.

Let me see if we can find something to get you out of that.

She gave you a bucket?

Bitch is wicked.

Liv, you okay?

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just…

I found a screwdriver.

What the hell are we gonna do with a screwdriver?

Have y’all never worn handcuffs before?

Oh, shut up.

Why not just look for the key?

What the hell am I looking in the fridge for?

God, these eggs are definitely bad.

We need, like, a saw or a pliers or something.

Pliers?

Can’t find no key in here.

Shut up and find something.

You shut up!

You ain’t had no handcuffs on.

[clears throat]

Gee, thanks for the help, guys.

Cool. We good.

Yo.

Come on. We’re late. I saw the bait already.

Where?

Well, he was with Jed in his truck.

Probably locked inside Willy’s by now.

Well, let’s roll out. I wanna see that bitch burn.

Yeah, burn, baby, burn.

Wait, guys, this isn’t for your entertainment, okay?

It’s for doing what’s right.

It’s gotta be a little entertaining.

Look, I wanna see them freak bastards die for what I see ’em do.

Shut up, dude. What have you seen them do?

Remember that one time I was…

Okay, shut up. Guys.

If we’re doing this, we’re gonna do this as a mission, not a field trip.

Are you with me or not?

Yeah, we’re with you, Liv.

Whatever you say.

Yeah.

All right. Let’s do this.

[high-energy music]

♪ ♪

[watch beeps]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[squeaks]

[door creaks]

♪ ♪

[door bangs]

♪ ♪

[groaning and creaking]

[rattling]

[watch beeping]

[sighs]

[mysterious music]

♪ ♪

[watch beeping]

[eerie music]

[heavy breathing]

♪ ♪

[ominous music building]

♪ ♪

[animatronic creaks]

[creaks]

I’m gonna feast on your face!

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[growls]

♪ ♪

[roars]

[tense music]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

[grunting]

[roars]

♪ ♪

[roars]

[grunting]

[shrieks]

[grunting]

[screaming]

♪ ♪

[tongue clicking]

Sheriff, if I may, why’d you request the state to send backup for one night to curfew a place the size of a postage stamp?

[laughs]

Oh, don’t get me wrong.

I got a wife and kid on the way and I do love the overtime pay.

Double overtime.

Right.

So what’s the plan the rest of the evening?

See that phone?

Yeah.

We’re gonna sit here and pray it don’t ring.

Copy that.

[dramatic musical sting]

[chains rattle]

[watch beeps]

[groans]

[relaxed jazz music]

♪ ♪

[watch beeping]

♪ ♪

[door creaks]

[tense electronic music]

[light buzzing]

♪ ♪

[chipper music]

♪ ♪

♪ To the beat ♪

♪ Whistle loud, whistle low ♪

♪ Sway your hips and here we go ♪

Hey, Tito.

Hola, Willy.

I hear that there’s a birthday boy in the audience tonight.

Sí, Willy. Cantamos.

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

[distorting] ♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ So let’s party, everyone ♪

[door creaks]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Let’s play hide and seek.

♪ You’ll never find me ♪

I’m gonna eat your eyes out and then feast on your soul.

[distorted laugh]

You’re as icy as an igloo.

Happy day.

You’re getting warmer.

You’re as hot as a pancake on a grill and just as yummy.

[roars]

Gorilla greetings.

[snarls]

[grunting]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[cackles]

[laughs] That tickles.

♪ ♪

[cackles]

♪ ♪

But we were friends.

[grunting]

[sparks fizzle]

[grunting]

[ominous music]

♪ ♪

[watch beeping]

[sighing]

[“Pop Goes the Weasel”] [table dinging]

♪ ♪

Ah.

[watch beeps]

[driving music]

♪ ♪

Hey, Chris.

What?

Can you pour gas literally anywhere else?

I’m sorry you pour like crap, Aaron.

You’re pouring gas on top of my gas.

All right, let me go over here and I’ll just paint the bush.

Perfect. Thank you.

Hey, you blowing bubbles? Bring your ass.

You forgot the lighter, didn’t you?

No, I didn’t.

Then let me see it.

Oh, my God.

There you go. Yeah, all right.

Wait, wait, wait. Uh-uh. Not yet.

[scoffs]

That guy’s still in there.

We gotta get him out first.

[knocking at window]

Hey, sir! Sir!

You’re not safe in there. We gotta get you out.

Hey!

Well, that was rude.

Hey, look, if he don’t wanna be safe, it’s his ass, not ours.

Tough shit.

I’m getting him out whether he likes it or not.

You wanna go in there with those things?

Are you high?

Look, if he wanna be cremated, that’s his business.

Yeah.

I’m sorry, but I’m just not okay with letting somebody burn alive in there if we can do something about it.

She’s right.

Of course she is, Chris.

Oh, shut up!

Hurry this shit up so we can go home.

I’ll figure out how to get inside, but I’m not putting you guys in danger.

You just figure out how to get us out once I do.

Okay.

[air duct clunking]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[growling]

♪ ♪

[snarls]

I didn’t even know you smoked.

[coughs] Where’d you get this?

I grew it myself. I call it No Clue.

How much THC is in it?

No clue.

[coughs]

[whimpers]

What?

I’m cold.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[shrieks]

I’ve waited so long for a girl to play with.

[shrieks]

Wanna see my treehouse?

Uh-uh.

Not today, girlfriend.

[giggles]

Ow.

Come play with me.

♪ ♪

♪ Ring around the rosie ♪

♪ A pocketful of posies ♪

♪ Ashes, ashes ♪

♪ We all fall ♪

[screams]

Holy shit. Guys, that was Liv.

We gotta go after her.

I’m out this bitch. Y’all playing.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Both: Bobby!

What?

Are y’all serious right now?

We supposed to go in there and get killed too?

You wanna stay here? We gotta do something.

No, I actually wanna leave, and I thought y’all might want to also, but I don’t care.

Fine. I’ll go.

No, no, I’ll go.

No, wait… hey, stop, stop.

This is Liv we’re talking about.

Move out of the way.

What? No!

Damn!

Hey, hey. Whoa, hey. Y’all look away.

Baby, God damn. Hey, y’all back up, man.

♪ ♪

[branches snap]

[both grunt]

Thank God you’re still alive. We gotta get you outta here.

I stopped that bitch, but that won’t keep her away for long, so…

hey!

Did you not hear what I just said?

Hey!

♪ ♪

We go in, fast, we split up, and as soon as we find Liv and this janitor dude, we’re out.

Hmm.

What, Aaron?

We just don’t need any more Batman bullshit, all right?

Okay. Thank you. Yeah, I know.

It’s only going to make it less safe for everyone else.

You mean kinda like Liv just did?

Excuse me?

Say what you gotta say. Speak up.

Now’s the time, Dan.

You ain’t gonna say it?

Do you guys have something in mind?

Hell yeah, we do.

Everything you telling us not to do, that’s exactly what your dream girl got us up here doing.

And now we probably all getting fucked up because of it.

Bobby.

What?

Am I lying?

No, I’m not. It’s the truth.

Fine. I’ll just go myself.

Oh, whatever, Chris.

When are you getting it through your thick-ass skull, huh?

Kissing that ass ain’t gonna get you that ass, playboy.

It’ll more than likely get you killed, and ain’t nobody, except for you, baby, worth none of this bullshit you got us up here doing.

So you know what? I’m out this bitch.

Baby, let’s go.

No, Chris! Chris!

Oh, shit!

[screams]

Bobby!

[all scream]

[groans]

God damn!

Everybody okay?

Yeah.

Nice of you guys to join us.

Wait, what are you guys doing here?

Oh, my God. Liv, you’re alive.

I thought we all agreed you were supposed to stay outside and help us find a way out.

Yeah, uh…

Now how the hell are we supposed to get out of here?

I tried to keep ’em on the roof, but they wouldn’t listen.

It’s your fault we were on the roof.

It’s my fault?

It was your fault.

Guys, guys, it’s happening. It’s happening now.

Oh, that’s the nasty bitch that tried to kill me.

Liv.

♪ We’re all friends ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

What are you doing?

Hey, what the hell, man?

What are you… dude!

Put her down, okay?

I’m trying to help you, you dumbass!

Seriously?

I’m trying to help him understand that he’s gonna die in here, but he won’t listen to me.

♪ Sing, sing, sing ♪

Wait a second.

Wasn’t there eight of them?

[chipper music]

♪ We’re all friends ♪

♪ We like to run ♪

Oh, that’s badass.

♪ Run, run, run to the beat of the drum ♪

Oh, this is good.

We’re connecting. We’re sharing our feelings.

♪ We’re all friends ♪

♪ We like to dance ♪

♪ Dance, dance, dance ♪

♪ Like there’s ants in our pants ♪

♪ ♪

Whoa.

Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet?

This is cool.

Well, what are you waiting for?

♪ The Super Happy Fun Room is super happy fun ♪

Yo. Look.

♪ Join us in the Fun Room ♪

♪ Where you’ll be number one ♪

♪ Popcorn, cake, and hot dogs ♪

Let’s go.

♪ Soda and candy too ♪

♪ The Super Happy Fun Room ♪

I know the bullshit story they told you.

That if you clean up the place tonight, they’ll pay to have your tires fixed by morning, right?

It’s a lie.

They’ve said the same story to countless other over the last 20 years.

They baited you.

You’re here to be a human sacrifice.

You’re here to be eaten and killed.

Do you understand that?

This town has a dark history.

And it all starts with this horrible place.

You know, Willy’s may seem like a happy-go-lucky child’s play place, but it’s much, much more than that.

Willy’s was built in 1996, the brainchild of Jerry Robert Willis.

If that name sounds familiar to you, it should.

Jerry was one of the last century’s most sick and sadistic serial killers.

Jerry spent most of the time cultivating similar sickos.

I mean, these were the most depraved people you could ever imagine.

Often, Jerry and his crew would whisk away unsuspecting families to the Super Happy Fun Room.

Once inside, the families would be treated to a birthday cake and a private show by Willy Weasel.

The shows would always end the same way.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

After numerous missing persons reports and suspicious smells coming from the inside of Willy’s, the law felt it was time to investigate.

[sirens wailing]

♪ ♪

Jerry and his gang refused to be taken alive.

After the police finally entered the Super Happy Fun Room, they discovered that Jerry and his crew had performed a satanic suicide ritual.

Instead of surrendering, the killers decided to take their own lives.

Those familiar with satanic rituals speculate that the suicide ritual was some sort of a Katra transfer of energy where the memory and consciousness of the living relocate into non-living entities.

In this case, the animatronic robots.

Ten years later, Willy’s reopens with a new owner, Tex Macadoo.

He tries to keep the current public unaware of its horrific past.

Things are wrong from the start.

There’s reports that the creatures would move on their own.

Some would say things they weren’t programmed to say.

[giggles] Wanna fuck, fatty?

And others would kill and feast on customers.

After several ghastly incidents, Willy’s closes its doors again.

But Tex still doesn’t bulldoze it to the ground.

Why, you may ask?

Because Willy got to him.

Convinced him to make a deal with the devil.

Along with all those other backwoods inbreds in this sorry town.

Speaking of backwoods inbreds, where’d Bob and Kathy go?

[door creaks]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Whoa.

♪ ♪

This is where it actually happened.

This is where those kid killers offed themselves.

Oh.

Cool.

The fuck?

♪ ♪

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Okay, yeah, this is… this is weird as fuck.

Yo, who the hell bringing their kids up in here?

Shit, not my kids. [scoffs]

Not our kids.

Is it weird that I’m getting really turned on right now?

Oh, you a freak freak.

It’s never seemed to bother you before.

Who says it bothers me now?

♪ ♪

Hmm.

Happy birthday, baby.

It’s not my birthday.

I still wanna see you in your birthday suit.

Have you been listening to a word I’ve been saying?

Look at all these naughty birthday boys and birthday girls.

Oh, shit.

I think it’s time for them to go nightie night.

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s kill everyone ♪

[creepy upbeat music]

♪ ♪

♪ Six little chickens at the end of the line ♪

♪ Six little chickens at the end of the line ♪

♪ One happy weasel says, “It’s dinner time” ♪

♪ Six little chickens oughta be just fine ♪

♪ Six little chickens in the weasel’s den ♪

♪ Four little roosters and a couple of hens ♪

♪ Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide ♪

♪ Six little chickens at the end of the line ♪

♪ Six little chickens ♪ Watch out, now!

♪ Six little chickens ♪ Here comes the weasel!

♪ Six little chickens running outta time ♪

Whoops!

♪ Five little chickens at the end of the line ♪

[suspenseful music]

[groans]

Shit!

What the… holy fuck!

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Go. Leave. Leave!

Chris, go.

[breathing heavily]

♪ ♪

I’m sorry.

[“Pop Goes the Weasel”]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

[moaning]

♪ ♪

Why you stopping?

Has that thing always been here?

Girl, that thing been in every single room we’ve been in.

It’s on the wall right now. Come on, babe.

[moaning]

♪ ♪

It’s staring at us.

Well, then let’s give it a show.

What you talking about? Come on.

Get nasty with it.

[moans]

[beeping]

[“Pop Goes the Weasel”]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[gasps]

♪ ♪

[shrieks]

♪ ♪

[“Pop Goes the Weasel”]

♪ ♪

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[shrieks]

[line ringing]

[phone ringing]

Hayesville Sheriff’s Office.

Sheriff?

This is Sheriff Lund.

It’s Chris Muley.

What can I do you for, Chris?

Christ, I did something stupid.

We’re at Willy’s. [suspenseful sting]

Prank call.

[phone ringing]

You want me to get that?

People made their beds, they gotta lie in ’em.

Pretty sure the saying is, “Protect and Serve,” Sheriff.

Shut your mouth, smart guy.

You’re not funny.

[phone beeps]

Liv brought us here.

Son of a bitch.

Get your asses out of there, son.

Put your balls on, Evan.

We’re going to Willy’s.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

[screaming]

[“Pop Goes the Weasel”]

[watch beeping]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[sword clatters]

♪ ♪

[moaning]

[gasps] Bobby, that thing just moved!

Where the fuck did it go?

[roars]

[screams]

No! No!

[screams]

[screaming]

[roars]

[screaming]

[snarling]

[both screaming]

♪ ♪

[sobbing]

I really need you to help me find my friends.

Please.

[screams]

Oh, my God. Kathy!

♪ ♪

Oh, my God.

♪ ♪

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[breathing heavily]

♪ ♪

I’m so sorry.

[cheerful 8-bit tune]

♪ ♪

Hello, little boy.

You don’t have to be afraid of me.

I’m not the same as the others.

They’re so mean to me.

They call me ugly and they make fun of my colorful skin.

I’m trapped in this body.

I just want to be free.

I guess I don’t expect you to believe me.

I hoped that you were different.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

I’m Chris.

Trust me, Chris. You know you can.

You can feel my goodness.

If what you’re saying is true, and you’re not like the others…

I could help you get to the next life?

It’s true.

Evil has kept me here.

You must have questions.

I can tell you so much about the other side.

I can answer all your questions.

If you can help me.

[siren wailing]

You ever use your sidearm?

Oh. In training.

But these are just punk kids, right?

What, vandalizing and loitering?

I doubt we’ll need to drop ’em.

It’s not the kids.

It’s Willy.

The dancing rat?

[laughs]

Okay.

I get it. I get it.

The boys told you to pull a fast one on me.

Bravo. Nice try.

It ain’t no prank.

This is real as it gets. I guaran-damn-tee you that.

See, in town, we knew what was happening at Willy’s.

We knew there was something supernatural going on.

We bellowed to the high heavens that the machines were evil.

No one believed us.

They thought we were yokels.

Tex eventually hired a demolition crew to destroy Willy’s, except the day before bulldozers were set to roll,

Eric Miller, the contractor, was found in bed as chewed up as a McDonald’s hamburger.

His whole family too.

After that, there wasn’t a man alive that would take the job.

The town decided that maybe it was better to let sleeping dogs lie.

We told everybody just to stay away from there.

We figured we’d just let it rot.

But rabid dogs don’t sleep when they’re hungry.

The machines got out.

We found bodies at the ice cream shop, the hardware store, and even the school.

We had a real Hobson’s choice on our hands.

You know what that is?

No.

No choice at all.

We could either go to war with the machines, come off like crazy people, probably lose a lot of good folk along the way, or…

Or what?

We cut a deal.

Leave our people be.

Leave our children be.

Leave our town be, and…

and we will feed you.

♪ ♪

Well, the good news is, I can fix it.

The bad news is, it’s gonna have to sit till I get the part.

Now, Hayesville’s one hotel’s booked.

But I do have a place you can stay tonight.

Now, it ain’t the Ritz, but it’s a roof and it’s free if you’re willing to do a little light cleaning.

Best place for a birthday party you’ve ever seen.

Heck, it once was, but we’re gonna fix it.

Bring her back to life.

Congratulations.

You are officially on staff.

We lived up to our end of the bargain and they kept theirs.

We tried to find people who wouldn’t be missed.

♪ ♪

People with low moral character.

And some people who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

♪ ♪

[both scream]

Things didn’t always go exactly as planned.

I usually pride myself on being able to expect the unexpected.

[crying]

But sometimes, life throws you a zinger.

[soft music]

♪ ♪

Well, this was the zinger of all zingers.

Good night, darling.

Sweet dreams.

I never saw it coming.

So that’s why we’re going?

Liv.

Much as she pisses me off, I couldn’t live with losing that girl.

I can show you what’s on the other side.

If you could help me get there.

Oh, Chris.

Liv, Liv, it’s gonna be okay.

Kay, we’re gonna make a deal and…

[grunting]

[gasps]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Wanna play, bitch?

♪ ♪

[watch beeping]

♪ ♪

[pinball machine beeping]

Playtime’s over now, girlfriend.

♪ ♪

[watch beeps]

♪ ♪

[grunting]

♪ ♪

[shouting]

♪ ♪

[gun cocks]

Drop the lizard.

♪ ♪

Get that stuff off of her.

Willy, I’m so sorry about this prick.

Eloise, please, stop. He’s a good guy.

Shut your yap and get outside.

They killed some of ’em.

Oh. Stupid idiots.

It’ll just incite him more.

Willy, this guy does not act for us.

His actions should in no way reflect on the town of Hayesville.

You know that, right, Willy?

Well, cuff him.

For God’s sakes, cuff him.

No way. I’m not leaving him here.

I’ll give you two reasons why you are: your wife and your kid.

If we don’t do what needs to be done, nobody in this county is safe.

Why couldn’t you just die?

Where are the others?

They’re dead.

Stupid kids.

Do you see?

Okay, time to go.

Go.

No. Uh-uh.

I’m not leaving without him.

I’m not giving you a choice. Go.

I’m not leaving without him.

Get out of here.

You don’t understand.

You’ve locked the wrong guy up in here.

He’s not trapped in here with them.

They’re trapped in here with him.

Not for much longer.

I’m sorry son.

[door creaks]

Is that what you did to my parents?

You’re a monster.

What do we do now?

Well, I’m gonna wait here until this problem solves itself.

You drop her off in a cell, come back, and get me.

Should be done by then.

[animatronic creaking]

Hey, cowboy.

Ready for a little ménage à trois?

[upbeat country music]

♪ ♪

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪

♪ And eyes and ears and mouth and nose ♪

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Feet, tummies, arms, and chins ♪

♪ Arms and chins ♪

You can’t arrest me

Can and will.

Breaking and entering, destruction of property, and I’m pretty sure that was a dead body on the floor.

What’s worse, the dead body you saw, or the guy that you left to die?

Are you ready to be a murderer?

Because that’s exactly what you’re gonna be.

You’re gonna be a cold-blooded…

[tires squeal]

Shut up! I ain’t no murderer.

Then what are you?

You’re complicit.

You’re just another cult member recruited by the sheriff to do all of her dirty work.

I ain’t no cult member and I ain’t no murderer.

And how ’bout you, huh?

Living with the sheriff all these years, all this going on, what have you done?

You don’t know what it’s like living with her.

My entire life, it’s like I’ve been a ghost.

And no matter what I do, it doesn’t change who she is.

So I thought maybe I could do something right and burn this fucking place down.

So I am doing something.

What about you? Hmm?

You just gonna sit there and watch all of this happen and not do anything about it?

I’m gonna set things right.

That’s what I’m goddamn gonna do.

You’ll see.

[grunting]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

♪ Feet, tummies, arms, and chins ♪

♪ Arms and chins ♪

♪ And eyes and ears and mouth and chins ♪

♪ Feet, tummies, arms, and chins, arms and ♪

Oh, my God! Evan!

[gasping]

[squishing]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

Give me the keys. Give me the fucking keys.

[speaking Spanish]

[gun clicks]

Shit.

♪ Hands, fingers, legs, and lips ♪

♪ Legs and lips ♪

[muffled screaming]

♪ Hands, fingers, legs, and lips ♪

♪ Legs and lips ♪

♪ And eyes and ears and mouth and hips ♪

♪ Hands, fingers, legs, and lips ♪

♪ Legs and lips ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪ [metal creaks]

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪

♪ And eyes and ears and mouth and nose ♪

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

♪ Knees and toes ♪

[grunts]

♪ Head, shoulders, knees, and toes ♪

[animatronic whirs]

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Sucks to be you, chica.

Sucks to be you, pendejo.

[grunting]

No!

Ay! Oi!

[grunts]

Por favor, no más.

No más. No más.

No más, por favor.

Por favor, no más.

No más.

[breathing heavily]

[soft tense music]

Damn stupid kids.

[sighs]

♪ ♪

[groans]

♪ ♪

[tense electronic music]

♪ ♪

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[watch beeping]

[dramatic synthpop]

♪ ♪

[pinball machine dinging]

♪ ♪

♪ When the daylight’s gone ♪

♪ And you find yourself alone ♪

♪ Standing face to face ♪

♪ Against the coming storm ♪

♪ There’s no promise I can make to you ♪

♪ To take your fears away ♪

♪ We just need to last the night alone ♪

♪ And pray we’ll see the day ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ I’m taking you ♪

♪ To Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ It’s nothing new ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ Can you make it through? ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ ♪

[watch beeps]

[tense music]

That G-D-S-O-B.

♪ ♪

Well, I’ll be a son of a bitch.

Hold it right there, boy.

Inside, now!

Move!

We had a good thing, but you just went and fucked it all up.

Look at me.

Look at me when I’m talking to you.

All you had to do was die.

Was that so hard?

No, you just had to go ahead and stay alive, and now we got five dead kids because of you!

You might have taken apart a few electronics, but I got a feeling that you can’t stop a round.

Willy!

Willy needs to eat, and I’m gonna feed him.

Willy, come and get it!

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[animatronic whirring]

♪ ♪

Hey, kids, do you know what time it is?

[distorting] It’s birthday time.

♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ And we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ So let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ And we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday ♪

♪ So let’s party, everyone ♪

[distorted music]

Okay, now, kids, clap your hands like there’s no tomorrow.

♪ We welcome you to Willy’s ♪

♪ Where everyone’s your friend ♪

That’s right!

♪ Here at Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ The good times never end ♪

♪ Birthday fun for everyone ♪

♪ How old are you today? ♪

♪ Everyone at Willy’s is home ♪

♪ And you will stay ♪

Forever.

♪ It’s birthday time, it’s birthday time ♪

♪ It’s birthday time, let’s cheer ♪

♪ At Willy’s ♪

♪ Wonderland ♪

Proudly serving families since 1984.

[intense music]

♪ ♪

[animatronic whirring]

♪ ♪

[roars]

[snarls]

[snarls]

♪ ♪

[growls]

♪ ♪

[roaring]

♪ ♪

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

Whoo!

Now that is a whole lot of fun right there.

Yes, sir.

Tires are good to go.

Even tuned her up for you.

Always nice to add another toy to the collection.

[tense music]

♪ ♪

Take a peek yet?

I was waiting for you.

I ain’t going in there.

Pussy.

Who are you calling a pussy?

♪ ♪

Son of a bitch.

♪ ♪

Oh, shit.

I’ll be God damned.

[Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird”]

[’70s country rock ballad]

♪ ♪

♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Would you still remember me? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ For I must be travelling on now ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ‘Cause there’s too many places ♪

♪ I’ve got to see ♪

♪ ♪

♪ But if I stay here with you, girl ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Things just couldn’t be the same ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And this bird you cannot change ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ And the bird you cannot change ♪

♪ ♪

♪ And this bird you cannot change ♪

[tires squealing]

I gotta tell you, my hat’s off.

That is one tough hombre.

[chuckles]

[both laughing]

[coughs]

Whoo!

Well, it’s over.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, it’s actually over!

Hell yeah, it is, boy. Hell yeah, it is.

Hey, come on. I’m gonna give you a ride.

We gonna celebrate. I’m buying.

Sounds good.

It’s our lucky day.

[both laugh]

Oh, man.

Hey, with the machines gone, I just might actually reopen it.

You gonna need a gimmick.

And a name.

Maybe Tex’s Turf.

That could sing.

Maybe get you a mechanical bull.

Yeah.

Draw the customers in.

Yeah, yeah, I just… I just might.

[suspenseful music]

Oh, fuck me.

Thanks for visiting Willy’s Wonderland.

Hope you hand a fantabulous time.

♪ ♪

[explosion]

[driving country music]

♪ ♪

[engine revs]

♪ ♪

And remember, friends, the party never ends.

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

[chipper music]

♪ Clap your hands and stomp your feet ♪

♪ Snap your fingers to the beat ♪

♪ Whistle loud, whistle low ♪

♪ Sway your hips and here we go ♪

Hey, kids, do you know what time it is?

It’s birthday time!

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ It’s your birthday and we want you to have fun ♪

♪ It’s your birthday, so let’s party, everyone ♪

♪ ♪

Okay, now, kids, clap your hands like there’s no tomorrow.

♪ We welcome you to Willy’s where everyone’s your friend ♪

That’s right.

♪ Here at Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ The good times never end ♪

♪ Birthday fun for everyone ♪

♪ How old are you today? ♪

♪ Everyone at Willy’s is home ♪

♪ And you will stay ♪

Forever.

♪ It’s birthday time, it’s birthday time ♪

♪ It’s birthday time, let’s cheer ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

Proudly serving families since 1984.

[dramatic synthpop]

♪ ♪

♪ When the daylight’s gone ♪

♪ And you find yourself alone ♪

♪ Standing face to face ♪

♪ Against the coming storm ♪

♪ There’s no promise I can make to you ♪

♪ To take your fears away ♪

♪ We just need to last the night alone ♪

♪ And pray we’ll see the day ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ I’m taking you ♪

♪ To Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ It’s nothing new ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ Can you make it through? ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

♪ There’s an empty stage ♪

♪ And a body on the floor ♪

♪ Willy’s on the prowl ♪

♪ We can’t hide from them much more ♪

♪ So take a breath and close your eyes ♪

♪ The shadow’s on the wall ♪

♪ We just need to make it out alive ♪

♪ Before they kill us all ♪

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

Okay, now, kids, I want you to clap your hands.

♪ Willy’s Wonderland ♪

You can run, but you can’t hide.

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

Have you been to my Super Happy Fun Room yet?

♪ At Willy’s Wonderland ♪

Then what are you waiting for?

[driving country rock]

♪ ♪

♪ Driving fast down slow roads ♪

♪ That’s just the way I roll ♪

♪ I’m a moving train, I’m falling rain ♪

♪ Free from heavy loads ♪

♪ Love the sound an engine makes ♪

♪ The wind against my face ♪

♪ I’m a lightning bolt, a blue steel Colt ♪

♪ I run but never race ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Call me crazy, call me insane ♪

♪ Love me or leave me, it’s all the same ♪

♪ I’ll be gone before you get my name ♪

♪ Call me crazy, call me insane ♪

♪ Tears in my rearview fading away ♪

♪ I’ll be gone before you get my name ♪

♪ Don’t tie me to a post ♪

♪ Put a saddle on my back ♪

♪ The road’s my home, I travel alone ♪

♪ Light is how I pack ♪

♪ I rarely say a word ♪

♪ I try to tell the truth ♪

♪ I’m ready to fight to make wrong right ♪

♪ I’m tied until I’m loose ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Call me crazy, call me insane ♪

♪ Love me or leave me, it’s all the same ♪

♪ I’ll be gone before you get my name ♪

♪ Call me crazy, call me insane ♪

♪ Tears in my rearview fading away ♪

♪ I’ll be gone before you get my name ♪

♪ ♪

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