Wealthy crime novelist Harlan Thrombey invites his extended family to his remote mansion on his 85th birthday in order to deliver important, though disappointing, news to a number of family members. The next morning, however, Harlan’s housekeeper Fran finds him dead in his study.

The police, along with experienced private eye Benoit Blanc, are called in to investigate. Throughout a series of interviews with members of the family, secrets are revealed as well as possible motives for murder. Richard, Harlan’s son-in-law, was discovered to have cheated on his wife Linda, Harlan’s daughter, with Harlan threatening to expose him. Joni, Harlan’s daughter-in-law and wife of his deceased son Neil, was exposed by Harlan after she stole $400,000 from him by sourcing duplicate checks meant for her daughter, Megan, to a private bank account. Walter, Harlan’s youngest son, was fired from his father’s publishing company during the birthday party. Ransom, Linda and Richard’s son, had discovered he’d been cut out of the will entirely.

It is then revealed that after the party, Harlan’s caretaker, Marta Cabrera, took Harlan upstairs to give him his nightly medication. After beginning to play a game of Go, Harlan jokingly knocked the board off of the table before Marta could give him his medication. Marta picked up the bottles and injected him, but realized that she accidentally gave him 100 milligrams of morphine. To protect his friend, Harlan gave her strict instructions on how to escape and avoid suspicion before slitting his own throat, leaving Marta shocked. Marta then drove away, parked her car, and returned to the house through the gate entrance, before climbing up the trellis on the side of the house and wearing Harlan’s coat and hat to confuse Walter in his peripheral vision, who had seen Marta leave, ruling her out as a suspect. The police question Marta, as she is a trustworthy source due to her inability to lie without vomiting, but she makes it through her interrogation without fail. Suspecting foul play, Blanc is determined to find the true cause of death.

The next day, Blanc, along with Marta and the police, search the house and its surroundings for clues, many of which Marta is able to cover up before the detectives can find them. Since it is the day of Harlan’s will reading, the family anxiously awaits the reveal, and are shocked to hear that Harlan left everything to Marta, including his inheritance, the house, and his company. Despite the family’s kindness to Marta the night prior, they quickly turn on her but Ransom helps her escape. Ransom and Marta then go to a local restaurant where Ransom coaxes Marta into telling him everything.

Meanwhile, the family members realize that if Marta can be proven as the murderer, they will regain their inheritance. They insist that the murder investigation continue, and Blanc confirms his suspicion of foul play, adding that everyone is still a potential suspect. This leads to Marta receiving a ransom note reading “I know what you did” along with a partial photocopy of Harlan’s toxicology report.

Marta drives with Ransom to the medical examiner’s office, only to find it up in flames and swarming with police. At Ransom’s insistence, Marta checks her email, and finds an address and time. Blanc spots the pair before they engage in a car chase, but Marta and Ransom are ultimately unable to evade their pursuers before Ransom is arrested after Wanetta, Harlan’s mother and elderly matriarch of the family, falsely identified Marta as him at the house. Marta drives to the address only to find Fran there, drugged. Marta performs CPR on her, and calls the police phone line, ensuring that Fran gets to the hospital safely. On the drive back to the mansion, Marta reveals everything to Blanc, who discourages her from confessing to the family. However, Blanc tells her to stop at the last minute when he spots something in a copy of the full toxicology report that Fran had hidden away.

The police bring Ransom to the house and place him in a private room where Blanc and Marta are waiting. Blanc reveals that he deduced the murder and goes on to reveal what he knows. The night of the party, Ransom stormed out after discovering Marta’s inheritance from Harlan and decided to frame her for his murder. Ransom swapped the contents of the medication vials and removed the emergency morphine counter agent, ensuring the morphine overdose. Ransom then swapped the vials back while the rest of the family was at Harlan’s funeral. Fran saw Ransom in Harlan’s study that day and deduced his involvement in Harlan’s death, prompting her to send him the ransom letter, which Ransom then sent to Marta after cutting out the address. Ransom then burnt down the medical examiner’s office to ensure that Harlan’s blood work was destroyed. Ransom confronted Fran and drugged her with morphine, nearly killing her before destroying the original copy of the toxicology report and emailing Marta Fran’s location in the hopes of fooling the police into believing Marta had murdered Fran. Blanc then reveals that the toxicology report shows that Harlan wasn’t poisoned at all, and that Marta had instinctively given Harlan the correct medication, but, noticing the mislabeling, didn’t know.

Marta receives a call from the hospital and says that Fran is alive, forcing Ransom to admit his crimes before angrily vowing revenge and legal recourse on Marta. At the last moment, Marta vomits on Ransom, revealing that she had lied and that Fran actually died at the hospital. Enraged that he had been tricked into admitting murder and arson, Ransom attempts to stab Marta but the knife turns out to be one of Harlan’s many props. He is then taken into police custody while the rest of the family watches in disgust. As Ransom is taken away, the remaining Thrombey family look up to the mansion’s balcony to see Marta sipping from Harlan’s signature coffee cup with the label “My House, My Rules, My Coffee” written on it.

 

 

* * *

Morning,
Mr. Thrombey.

(DOOR CREAKS)

Mr. Thrombey? You up there?

Mr. Thrombey, I’m coming in.

Shit!

(GASPS)

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

WOMAN: (ON SPEAKERS) You killed him, you bastard!

You murdered him!

MAN 1: I didn’t murder nobody!

MAN 2: You slashed his face open.

You left him bleeding in the street like a stuck pig, then you crushed his skull with a forklift and burned his hands off to erase the fingerprints!

MAN 1: You’ll never prove it.

MAN 2: We have the nanny-cam footage!

Alice, turn that off now, please?

You’re under arrest for…
Why? It’s almost over.

Now. Please, just turn it off.
What? They’re finding out who did it

And the WiFi sucks in my room, so give me a break.
Turn it off, now.

There’s two minutes left.
Alice!

What? There isn’t even anything bad on.
Off!

It’s just normal TV and they’re just talking!
They’re talking murder on it!

Normal TV, and they’re just talking!

Your sister just had a friend she loved…

Okay, okay! Okay! Whatever.
Slit his throat open

And she doesn’t need to be hearing that right now!

Let’s be sensitive!

(WHISPERS IN SPANISH)

Alice, you can keep watching your show, it’s fine.

ALICE: No, I guessed who did it anyway.

It’s okay.
I’m sorry, Marta.

It’s okay.

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

It’s Harlan’s son.

Hi, Walt.

Hi, Marta, it’s Walt.

Mmm-hmm.

Would you mind coming to the house early?

The police have a few more questions for everybody.

What?

POLICEMAN: Hey.
Excuse me, ma’am.

You with the help?

MEG: Hey! Her name’s Marta.
She was Grandad’s nurse.

She’s with us.
“The help”?

MARTA: It’s okay.
I’m sorry.

No, it’s not okay.
What the hell?

(SIGHS)

Aw.

How are you doing?

Not very good.

Alone.

Lots of this and not knowing what to do next.

Marta, anything you need…

You’re part of this family.

Thank you.

How you doing, kiddo?

MARTA: Linda.

(MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

How are you?

(SIGHS)

You know, the funeral helped, I guess.
Just seeing him.

I thought you should have been there.

I was outvoted.

RICHARD: Get arrested!

Die up your own ass for all I care!
Richard.

(PHONE BEEPS)
He’s not coming.

Ransom. Little shit.

Missed the funeral.

WAGNER: Excuse me.

Uh, we’re ready for you now.

We’d like to see you one at a time.

LINDA: All right.
Uh, I’ll go first.

I’m assuming this will all be wrapped up before the memorial tonight.

WAGNER: We’ll do our best, ma’am.

(SIGHS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

So…

How you doing, kiddo?

We’re just gonna reintroduce ourselves as a formality.

I am Detective Lieutenant Elliot, and this is Trooper Wagner.

Now, um, I’m going to record this, just to make things easier.

All right, we’re with Linda Drysdale nee Thrombey, Harlan Thrombey’s eldest daughter, and discussing the events that took place the night of his demise one week ago.

November eighth.

We’re very sorry for your loss.

Thank you.
That means a lot.

So, we understand on that night the family had gathered to celebrate your father’s 85th birthday?

Yes.

How was it? Uh…

LINDA: The party?

Pre-my-dad’s-death?

Oh, it was great.

Did anyone besides the family show face?

LINDA: Um, Fran, the housekeeper.

He was a nice guy, but he was so hairy.

WALT: Jacob?
And I’ve dated Italian guys.

You know what I mean?
It was like…

LINDA: Marta, Harlan’s caregiver.

Good girl. Hard worker.

Her family’s from Ecuador.

And Wanetta.

Great nana. Harlan’s mom.

Hi, Nana.

ELLIOTT: His mom?

Nana?

ELLIOTT: Wow. How old is she?

LINDA: We have no idea.

Okay, um, and your son, Ransom, did he attend as well?

LINDA: Yes, but he left early.

Ransom, are you leaving?

(PLAYS NOTE)

Right, um…

Would you say that all three of you showed up around the same time?

No.

Richard came early to help the caterers set up.

Okay. And you and your husband, Richard, work at a real estate firm in Boston?

No. It’s… It’s my company.

Right. Right. Sorry.

I built my business from the ground up.

Oh, just like your father.

You two were very close.

We… We had our own secret way of communicating.

I mean, you had to find that with Dad.

You had to find a game to play with him, and if you did that, and you played by his rules…

Everyone idolizes their dad, right?

I don’t know.
Do they?

Very much not.

Don’t know why I said that.

But my wife, Linda, does.

Harlan started out with a rusty Smith Corona and built himself into one of the best-selling mystery writers of all time.

Wow, seems like all his kids are self-made overachievers.

(SIGHS) Sure.

ELLIOTT: For the record, I’m speaking with Walt Thrombey,

Harlan Thrombey’s youngest son.

So, you run your father’s publishing company?

Yeah. It’s my…
It’s our…

Uh, it’s the family’s publishing company.

Dad trusts me to run it.

Thirty languages.

Over 80 million copies sold.
A real legacy.

ELLIOTT: Mmm-hmm.
You guys fans?

I mean, I don’t do much fiction reading myself, but…

Big fan.
I’m a big fan.

I mean, his plots are just like…

Like, I won’t spoil it for you but…

Okay, like Thousand Knives?

The Cow and the Shotgun?

Like, where do you come up with that?

Well, Dad said the plots just popped into his head, fully formed.

It was the easy part for him.

(PLAYS NOTE ON PIANO)

ELLIOTT: Um, so you’re in the area, right?

Uh, you guys probably arrived around the same time.

Uh…

We all got here around 8:00.

My wife, Donna, she’s my rock.

(FORK CLATTERS)
(SHRIEKS)

Jesus, Donna!
Are you all right?

WALT: My son, Jacob, he’s 16.

Very politically active.

The boy is literally a Nazi.

He’s an alt-right troll dipshit.

Kids today with the Internet, it’s amazing.

ELLIOTT: (CHUCKLES)
So the night went well?

WALT: I mean, we’re all gutted, but, uh, I was happy to have that night with him.

To be by his side.
To think about our books and what we’ve accomplished with them.

It’s like I can still feel his hand on my shoulder.

Passing the torch.

ELLIOTT: So, we’re here with Joni Thrombey, Harlan Thrombey’s daughter-in-law?

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I married his son, Neil.

We had one daughter, Meg.

And then Neil passed on 15 years ago.

But you remained close to the Thrombeys?

Oh! They’re my family.

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

JONI: I feel simultaneously freed by and supported by them.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

It’s that balance of opposites that’s the nugget of Flam.

Sorry, the nugget of…

Flam.

(CHUCKLES) Oh. Yeah, Flam, your skincare company. Sorry.

I forgive you.

Yeah, it’s skincare, but it promotes a total lifestyle.

Self-sufficiency with an acknowledgement of human need.

That’s Flam.

But it’s also Harlan.

He got me and Meg through some tough times.

Grandad gives my mom a yearly allowance and he’s never missed wiring a tuition payment to my schools.

He’s a genuinely selfless man.

But you left the party early?

MEG: Have fun.

To see some friends at Smith.

You know Dad pays for her crypto-Marxist-post-deconstructural-feminist-poetry-theory-whatever major?

She could have stuck around for the cake.

JONI: I think Linda was upset.

Hmm.

But Harlan understood.

(PLAYS NOTE ON PIANO)

Right.

Um, you two showed up to the party around the same time…

If I could pause?

Because I just…

Who is that guy?

And why are we doing all this again? (CHUCKLES)

ELLIOTT: This is just some follow-up questions.

Um, we’re attempting to be thorough, so we can figure out the manner of death.

So by “manner of death,” you mean if someone killed him?

(STUTTERS)
If one of us killed him?

One of his family killed him?

No, no, Walt, Walt, no, no…

Is that what you’re suggesting, Lieutenant?

No one’s saying that, okay?

This is all pro-forma.

Okay.

So who the fuck is that?

Um…

This is Benoit Blanc.

(CHUCKLES) Benoit Blanc?

ELLIOTT: Yes.

Mr. Blanc is a private investigator of great renown.

JONI: Wait a minute.

I read a tweet about a New Yorker article about you.

“The Last of the Gentlemen Sleuths.”

You solved that case with the tennis champ?

(CHUCKLES) You’re famous.

ELLIOTT: Mr. Blanc is not with the police department and not officially involved in the case, but he’s offered to consult.

Now, I happily obliged, and I can vouch for him.

Mr. Blanc, I know who you are. I read your profile in the New Yorker. I found it delightful. I just buried my 85-year-old father who committed suicide.

Why are you here?

(CLICKS TONGUE) I’m here at the behest of a client.

Who?

I cannot say.

But let me assure you this.

My presence will be ornamental.

You will find me a respectful, quiet, passive observer of the truth.

Fine.

Are we getting there?

Nearly. Um…

Harlan’s nurse, she was at the party in a professional capacity?

Marta?

I guess.

Harlan hired her to be around to take care of whatever medical needs popped up.

But really, she’s like part of the family.

Good kid.

Been a good friend to Harlan.

Family’s from Paraguay.

Linda really likes her work ethic.

“Immigrants.
We get the job done.”

(STUTTERS) I…
From Hamilton.

WAGNER: Oh, Hamilton.
(LAUGHS)

It’s so good.
It’s so good.

I saw it at The Public.
WAGNER: Oh!

(STUTTERS)
May I just, um…

Then I’ll recede, but…

As a self-made man myself,

I have to express my admiration for how you followed in your father’s footsteps.

Thank you.

BENOIT: Just marvelous.

You know, the whole family, too.

And Joni with her thing, and Walt with his publishing empire…

(STUTTERS) It’s…

Well…

Yes, I mean, Walt, he’s done well with what Dad gave him.

Not that it matters.

But really, Dad hands him a book twice a year and Walt publishes it.

It’s just not the same.

But surely Walt runs the merchandising, adaptations, film and television rights, I mean…

Are you baiting me, Detective?

(STUTTERS)

You know he doesn’t.

And if you think I am dumb enough to be baited into talking family business, into shit-talking my baby brother, in front of a police detective, and a state trooper…

Walt doesn’t run shit.

Because there are no TV and film rights.

Harlan never allowed any adaptations of his books.

Hated the idea.

No.

Yeah!

Drives Walt nuts.

‘Cause that’s where the real money is.

When Walt would get a little Irish courage in him, he’d get into it with Harlan.
The window is…

Did he “get into it” at the party?

Oh, my God!

Come on, Dad!

RICHARD: Wouldn’t leave him alone, the poor guy.

Harlan finally had to give him the hook.

WALT: The Netflix guys, their business affair guy…

RICHARD: I didn’t hear what he said, but he must’ve really handed him his lunch.

‘Cause Walt was like a wounded puppy the rest of the night.

What? Richard said what?

No. Jesus.
We did not get “into it.”

I’m just trying to get an accurate impression.

Harlan took you aside at the party.

When you returned, you were chastened.

What did Harlan say to you?

The Netflix guys, their business affair guy.

He sent something over.
It’s hard numbers this time, and I just think this is a window that’s not gonna stay open.

We need to take advantage of it and then you just need to look at the numbers!

Yeah, Walt, look…

Dad! Dad!

You… You put me in charge of our books.

Let me be in charge!
Let me do this! Please!

They’re not our books, son.

They’re my books.

And this is not how I wanted to have this conversation.

But you’re right, you’re right.

It’s unfair of me to keep you tethered to something that isn’t yours to control.

What?

No, I’ve done you a grave disservice.

All these years,

I’ve kept you from building something of your own that was yours.

But you’re not going to be running the publishing house anymore.

You’re free of it.

Whoa…

Dad, are you firing me?

No… (CHUCKLES)

We’ll talk details tomorrow.

My mind’s made up.

Good boy.

We talked. We had a business discussion about e-books.

Jesus. It was nothing.

You want to talk about an argument, hell, Ransom had an argument with him.

Ransom, that’s, uh, Richard and Linda’s son?

WALT: Mmm.

Look, we all love Ransom, he’s a good kid. We love him.

But?

But he’s always been the black sheep of the family.

Ah.

(STUTTERS)
And I’m not trying to…

I like to keep stuff like this in the family.

But with Ransom, he’s never had a job.

And Dad, for some unknown reason, always supported him.

They have this love-hate bond.
They fight.

But that night, God, they had a blowout.

About what?

RANSOM:
Are you goddamn insane?

WALT: We couldn’t make it out really, but it was huge.

And it’s strange they went into another room to do it.

Usually they like to stoke up drama in front of the whole family.

Speaking of getting into it…

(CHUCKLES)

You were at the house early, to help the caterers set up. Did…

Did you converse with Harlan at that time?

Well, he was there.
We must have spoke.

In his study?

I don’t think so.

You see, I spoke with the caterer this morning, she didn’t see you helping her staff.

She did hear Harlan in a screaming match with somebody that afternoon in his study.

Yeah, I don’t…

Screaming match?
Mmm-hmm.

No.

Um… (CLICKS TONGUE)

But Joni was here, too.

Um, she was early, so it might have been her.

You can maybe ask her.

These were two male voices.

Harlan shouted the phrase…

HARLAN:
You tell her or I will!

“You tell her

“or I will!”

Bells ringing?

That’s none of your business.

You stay out of my marriage.

I know my daughter, and she would want to know.

I’ve put all of it in this letter to her.

Tomorrow, she gets it.

Harlan, I’m warning you.

No, she deserves to know.
You stay out of my marriage.

She deserves to know, and you’re gonna tell her.

The hell I am!

You tell her or I will!

Yes. I know.

Yes.

(CHUCKLES) Uh…

Harlan had finally decided to put his mom in a nursing home and Linda had always opposed that.

And I wanted to wait until we got back to Boston, uh, to tell Linda, so, to avoid a whole scene, and Harlan wanted me to tell her then.

That was it.
(INHALES SHARPLY)

Sorry. Forgot.

The house?

Uh, early.
Richard said you were there.

I was at the house early.

BENOIT: To see Harlan?

To see Harlan.

Yes.

What were you seeing Harlan about?

It was just a mix-up with the, uh, the payment for Meg’s tuition.

I’m… I’m…

I’m sorry to press, but what kind of mix-up?

Yeah, the school hasn’t got the check yet.

I don’t know why Alan didn’t mail it.

HARLAN: Well, Alan didn’t mail it because he caught a discrepancy.

Alan’s office has been wiring tuition directly to the school as per your request.

But Phyllis’s office that handles your yearly allowance has been wiring tuition monies directly to you as well.

You have been double-dipping Meg’s tuition and stealing from me.

(SCOFFS)

$100,000 a year, for the past four years.

Harlan, I don’t know how this mix-up happened, but I swear to God…

HARLAN: So, now I am writing this tuition check, but you must know that this is the last money you or Meg will get from me.

Please, you don’t understand…

Joni, I know it’ll hurt,

but it’s all for the best.

My mind’s made up.

It was, uh, a money wiring issue

with the office at the school.

So I had to ask Harlan to cut
a check for the semester.

Mmm. No big deal.

Well…

Why don’t we, uh, just take

a little break and we’ll resu…

Oh, no…

She’s gone.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

LINDA: Richard!

Joni, have you seen Richard?

No, I was, uh,
just done with the, um…

Okay, thanks.

No.

LINDA: Damn it. Richard!

Richard?

(CHUCKLES)

Son of a bitch.

See, I might be a victim
of my own expectation here,

but when the great Benoit Blanc

comes knocking at my door,

I expect it’s going to be
about something,

if not extraordinary,

then at least interesting.

But… I’m sorry,

this is an open-and-shut case of suicide

and, uh, quite frankly,
Benny, we’re getting to the point

where I need to know
what we’re doing here.

BENOIT: The method?

Throat slit?

Typical for a suicide?

Yes, I mean, that’s dramatic.

But look around.

I mean, the guy practically lives
in a Clue board.

ELLIOTT: Come on, Benny,
talk to me, all right?

Now, you tell me to invite
all of these people back

for questioning
all over again. I get it.

WAGNER: Listen,
I’ve had boots on the ground

in this county for a while now.

People are generally
what they seem to be.

You’re not gonna find
murderers in this family.

ELLIOTT:
This is a pleasant family

with the usual quarrels,

but no possible motives
for murder.

Where are you going?

(GASPS)

Harlan Thrombey’s nurse.
Marta…

Cabrera.
Marta Cabrera. Please.

Miss Cabrera,
you can just wait inside

and we’ll be with you in…
BENOIT: Miss Cabrera.

I’ve been doin’ a little pokin’.

You were hired
on a part-time basis

as a registered nurse, yes?

Uh, yes.
I don’t work for a VNA.

Harlan hired me directly.

Take a seat, please.

And you’re paid a flat rate

for how many hours a week?

Um…

Well, I started at 15,
and then he…

He needed more help.

Medical help?

He needed a friend.

Does having a kind heart
make you a good nurse?

ELLIOTT: All right, Blanc,
I mean, this is…

Yeah, yeah. Marta?
We were just discussing

possible motives in the family.

I suspect that
Harlan has told you

much unfiltered truth
about each of ’em.

And a little bird has told me,

how shall I
put this delicately…

You have
a regurgitative reaction

to mistruthin’.
(CHUCKLES)

Who told you that?

Is it true?

Uh…

Yes.
Oh.

It’s something
I’ve had since I was a kid.

It’s a physical thing
that I… (SHUDDERS)

Just the thought of lying…

Yeah, it makes me puke.

BENOIT: Really?

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

Is Richard havin’ an affair?

(SIGHS)

Why do men instinctively

pull at loose threads
on their parachutes?

What?

Richard?

Mmm-hmm.

An affair?
Yeah.

A yes or no will do.

Mmm… No.

(CLICKS TONGUE)

(SCOFFS)

(STOMACH GURGLES)
(GAGS)

Oh, shit!
(RETCHES)

WAGNER: Oh, my God!
Dear girl, I’m sorry.

I assumed you were speaking figuratively.
WAGNER: Here, have some water.

I have Wet-Naps in the car.

All right, here, here.

Just take a sip of this.

Take that.

That’s quite somethin’.

Hmm?

Thanks.

But I was obviously right.

Richard is having an affair.

His father-in-law found out
and confronted him.

“You tell her
or I will.”

Okay, but even if
that were the case, he…

(MARTA GAGS)
You all right?

Yeah.

Even if that were
the case, I mean,

protecting a relationship
as a motive,

that’s weak sauce.
You know that.

Well, then there is Joni.

Joni?
Joni?

Lifestyle guru Joni?

No, Harlan was supporting her
and her daughter

and that’s the opposite
of a motive.

And if that support
was threatened…

Miss Cabrera,
one moment, please.

Yes, I just wanna
get some Scope.

Miss Cabrera…

(DOOR CLOSES)

Was Harlan plannin’ on
cutting off Joni’s allowance?

Oh, Joni.

What’s up?

(STOMACH GURGLES)

Oh, my God.

All right, don’t answer that

if you’re gonna
puke again, please.

Meg said he paid
the school directly.

Joni said he sent
the money to her.

Both were true.

She was pocketing
the double payment.

Harlan found out,

and cut her off without a cent.

Yes?

WAGNER: So she bumps him off
for the inheritance?

Come on, no,
have you seen her Insta?

She’s an influencer.

No, allowance as a motive?

Again, more weak sauce.

You’re just dumpin’ that vat
of weak sauce on me.

Granted. But she
lied to me.

All three of them did.

ELLIOTT: Three?

Walter.

Ah. I see where
you’re going with this.

Harlan had turned Walter down
before regarding film rights,

but that night, somethin’
Harlan said shook him.

Now we look at the pattern.

Harlan was cleanin’ house.

No wonder.

Did he plan to fire Walter?

Can I just wait inside?

I feel like I shouldn’t be here.

Yeah, please, just wait inside.

Stay close, all right?

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

BENOIT: You have been
very patient, my friend.

And yes,

you are right.

None of these weak alibis
and domestic squibbles

answer your question…

“Why is Benoit Blanc here?”

Well, now I will tell you why.

I’m here because this mornin’,

someone dodged
a very important question.

Who?

Me.

Linda asked who hired me.

Well, who hired you?

I do not know.

An envelope of cash showed up
at my apartment yesterday

with a news clippin’
of Thrombey’s death.

An envelope?
That worked?

An envelope of cash.

Hmm.

So somebody suspects foul play

and goes through this
ha cha dance of hiring me,

of staying anonymous.

It makes no damn sense.

Compels me, though.

Walk me through
everyone’s whereabouts

at the time of death.

We know that the party ended
around 11:30.

HARLAN: Good night, Joni.
‘Night.

ELLIOTT: Marta took Harlan upstairs

to give him his meds.

(STAIRS CREAKING)

The stairs leading
up to Harlan’s bedroom

and his attic office
creak horribly

and Linda is a light sleeper.

So we know every time

someone took the stairs
that night.

(CHANTING IN HINDI)

ELLIOTT: The first was
when Joni heard a ka-thunk

from somewhere above her
in the house.

(LOUD THUD)

(SIGHS)

She’s concerned about Harlan,

so she goes up to investigate…

(STAIRS CREAKING)

Waking Linda.

Harlan was in his attic office
with Marta.

Hi, Joni.
I just… Hi.

ELLIOTT: He explained that
they had just

knocked over the Go board.

I just knocked over
the Go board, so…

ELLIOTT: You know, that game
with the grid and stones?

They play it every night.

He was fine. “Go to bed.”

Go to bed, Joni.

Love you. ‘Night.
Love you.

ELLIOTT: So she did.
Bye.

ELLIOTT: Ten minutes later,

Linda is awoken a second time…

(STAIRS CREAKING)

By Marta leaving.

MARTA: Walt, I’m leaving.

Walt was smokin’ a cigar
on the porch with his son.

He saw her leave and drive off.

Noted the time.

Midnight.

(CAR DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

(ENGINE STARTS)

Fifteen minutes later,

Linda is awoken for the third
and final time…

(STAIRS CREAKING)

By someone coming
down the stairs.

Harlan, who came down
for a midnight snack.

WALT: Dad, go back to bed.

ELLIOTT: Which Walt tried
to discourage.

Based on this,

the medical examiner
determined the time of death

to be between
12:15 and 2.00 a.m.

As Walt was finishing his cigar

at about 12:30, Meg came home.

She went straight to bed.

Walt and Jacob
turned in shortly after that.

(SNORING)
(DOGS BARKING)

And sometime later that night,

it’s undetermined,
but possibly near 3:00 a.m.,

Meg woke up because
the dogs were barking outside.

She used the bathroom,
went back to bed.

That’s it. All right?

Now, everyone’s stories matched,

every moment accounted for.

And there is no other staircase

up to Harlan’s room?

None. Just the creaky one.

Interesting.

WAGNER: So, uh, we know that
Ransom didn’t do it

because he wasn’t there.

Marta couldn’t have.

Harlan was still alive
when she left.

Yeah.
Meg…

Meg came home during the window

of the time of death, right?
ELLIOTT: Now look, look, it was a…

Except it was a suicide,
all right?

Harlan slit right through
his carotid.

We saw from
the blood splat patterns

that they were uninterrupted,

meaning, it’s almost
impossible for anyone

to have been around him
at the time.

He’s the one who cut his
own throat, all right?

I don’t know why
we keep goin’ over this.

Physical evidence
can tell a clear story

with a forked tongue.

What?

And as we can see
from this mornin’,

everyone can lie.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

Well,

almost everyone.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

BENOIT: Miss Cabrera, um…

We kept you waiting
all afternoon,

because I wanted to hear
from you last.

I needed an entire picture
of the evening in my head,

and your piece of it
is at its very center.

So, please take your time.

You took Mr. Thrombey
upstairs at 11:30

and left at midnight.

Think very carefully

and with as much detail
as possible.

Tell us what happened
in that half hour?

(COIN RINGING)

HARLAN: Up, up, up, I got it.
MARTA: Yeah, you got it?

Up, up, up, I got it.
Up, up, up, I got it.

Up, up, up, I got it.
MARTA: Okay, that’s…

Up, up, up, I got it.
Hey, Harlan…

Up, up, up, I got it.
Let’s…

HARLAN: Up, up, up, I got it.

MARTA: Okay.
No second thoughts.

No. No, no,
no, no.

Get up here!
I had a glass of champagne.

Harlan, listen to me.
We are…

It’s late. I had…
You’ve only had one glass.

Exactly. A glass of champagne.
I don’t…

We are not breaking tradition
on my birthday!

Can you just take your goddamn
medicine and go to bed?

If you’re gonna put that
vile shit in me,

you have to earn it.

On my birthday.

Oh, God.
Eighty-fifth birthday.

Fine. Jesus!

(MOCKINGLY) I’m so old.

I’m so old.
You really love drama, huh?

Oh, Marta.

Okay, let’s do this.
Nine-by-nine.

Right.
You ready?

I’ll whip your ass.
Are you sure?

Yeah. Yeah.
(CHUCKLES)

How dare you.

I know how this is gonna end.

What is that?

Why can’t I beat you
at this game?

Because I’m not playing
to beat you.

I’m playing to build
a beautiful pattern.

That’s elder abuse.

I’m gonna call the AARP.

Don’t make me
get the belt, abuelo.

It’s basically over.

My only hope is that
an earthquake will strike.

But what are the chances?

Uh-oh.

(RATTLING)

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

Hello? Get under a door frame!

Yes!

(HARLAN LAUGHS)

Such a bad loser you are!
Meds, then bed.

I’m done with you.

That’s fair. (LAUGHS)

(HARLAN SNIFFS AND EXHALES)

Walt is smoking
that filthy cigar

out there on the porch.

Dead and nasty things.

How was tonight?

Tonight was, uh, good.

Oh, yeah?

I know you weren’t looking
forward to it.

No. But I did it.

I cut the line on
all four of ’em.

Yeah.

Wasn’t easy.

Mmm.

This goddamn fortune.

You know, sometimes I think

that everything I’ve
given my family,

I’ve done maybe

without knowing, or maybe
to keep them beneath me.

I certainly should have…

(SIGHS) I don’t know,
encouraged Walt

to write his own stories,
not just be

a caretaker of mine.

Like you said I should.

And then be a father
and not just a provider

for Joni, like you also said.

And I could have been kinder
to Linda and Ransom…

(SIGHS)

Jesus! Ransom.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, there’s so much of me
in that kid.

Confident. Stupid.

I don’t know, protected.

Playing life like a game,
without consequence.

Until you can’t tell
the difference

between a stage prop

and a real knife.

You know, I don’t fear death.

But, oh, God,

I’d like to fix some of this before I go.

Close the book with a flourish.

I guess we’ll see. Hmm?

I guess we will.

Hey.

You had a long day.

You wanna do drugs?

You mean the good stuff?

Yeah?
(CHUCKLES)

Oh, come on,
send me to la-la land.

Just a tiny bit, okay?

Why did I wait till my mid-age
to become a morphine user?

What a schmuck.

What a nudnik.
This… (CHUCKLES)

This stuff is the best.

Oh, my God.

Is there a problem?

This is what I just gave you
100 milligrams of.

I messed up.

You gave me 100 milligrams
of the good stuff?

Excuse me, what is the good
stuff’s dosage supposed to be?

Let’s not call it that
right now, okay?

Three milligrams.

Oh, that’s much less.

So what happens?

I’m gonna give you
an emergency shot of Naloxone,

so you don’t die in 10 minutes.

Oh, well, no pressure.

(CHUCKLES)

You know, this is an interesting

and efficient method of murder.

I need to write this down.

So, if someone switched
the meds on purpose,

I’d be dead in 10 minutes.

Like stone-cold dead?

Yes.

You’ll feel symptoms in five.

Sweats, disorientation,
and then…

Yes. That big dose injected,
within 10, your…

Your brain…
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Yes, 10 minutes.

From the moment of injection?

It’s eight-ish now.

And even if the victim called
for an ambulance

when he first felt the symptoms

and if he lived in a great
big country house like we do,

the ambulance would take
at least 15 minutes to arrive

and it’d be too late.

If the victim didn’t have
the emergency Naxostuff.

Marta?

(CRYING)

Do you have the Naxostuff?

Yes, I’m gonna find it.

I have it because
it comes with the kit,

so it should be here.
It has to be.

It’s like…

(MARTA SOBBING)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

It’s not here, Harlan.

I don’t know why
it’s not here. (SNIFFLES)

So, I’m gonna
use the phone, okay?

To call an ambulance.

(LINE RINGING)

(LINE DISCONNECTS)
(EXHALES)

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Marta, listen to me.

Harlan, I need to call
the ambulance.

Stop this! Stop this, Marta!

They need to get here.
There’s no time!

You have to…
You have to listen!

I’m calling the family!

(LOUD THUD)

(SIGHS)

What are you doing?

Are you nuts?
Don’t make a noise.

Harlan, we have to call the ambulance.
Marta, listen to me!

We don’t have time!

What’s going on?
Listen to me!

Now, if what you said
is true, I’m gone.

There’s no saving me.

No, no.

We have six minutes.

No, I can’t…
Wait, no.

We have got to get you
out of this!

Think of your mom.

My mom?

(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(GASPS)

Marta, get behind me,
get behind me.

Don’t make a noise.

JONI: Harlan?

Marta?

Everything all right?

Oh, hi, Joni.

I thought I… Hi.

I thought I heard something.
Is everything okay?

HARLAN: No, no. We’re fine.
We’re fine.

Well, I just knocked over this Go board.
Sorry about that.

JONI: Everyone’s all right?
Yeah, fine.

No, no.
Go to bed, Joni.

JONI: Okay.

Maybe we can talk tomorrow
about the family…

HARLAN: Tomorrow’s fine.

Goodnight. Love you. ‘Night.

HARLAN: Love you. Bye.

Come on.

Pay attention, now.

Your mom

is still undocumented.

And if this is your fault,

she’ll be found out
and at best deported

and your family will be broken.

We’re not gonna let that happen,
are we, huh?

But you have to do exactly
what I tell you.

Will you do this,
Marta? Hmm?

This last thing

for me?

For your family?

What do you want me to do?

HARLAN: Go downstairs
as noisily as you can

and then say goodbye loudly.

MARTA: Walt, I’m leaving.

HARLAN: Call attention
to the time…

God, it’s midnight already.

HARLAN: If you can.

Drive out the gate.

Then to avoid
the security cameras,

pull off the road before
the carved elephant.

MARTA: Wait.
Was it before or after?

HARLAN:
After the carved elephant.

MARTA: No, he said before.
Was it?

HARLAN: Beafterfore
the carved elephant.

MARTA: Oh, shit.

HARLAN: Park, and come back
on foot up to the house.

Take the side yard pass
through the little gate.

The dogs will know you,
they shouldn’t bark.

(DOGS WHIMPERING)

You’ve got to get up
to the third floor

without being seen.

And the only way
is to climb the side trellis

and come in through
the trick hall window.

You gotta be kidding me.

HARLAN: I am not. Do it.

(GRUNTING)

And for God’s sake,
don’t make any noise!

(GASPS)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Once you’re inside,
now this is the tricky part…

MARTA:
This is the tricky part?

HARLAN: Get my robe and cap
from my bedroom

and put them on.

MARTA: Harlan…

This is crazy.
I don’t think I can do that.

No, we need to make this
so airtight

that the average cop

will entirely dismiss you
as a suspect.

It sounds crazy, but it’ll work.

(EXHALES)

Walt is smoking outside,
and he’ll see you

through the glazed window.

WALT: Dad? Go back to bed.

HARLAN: You were seen leaving.

The security cameras
show you driving off.

And 20 minutes later,

I’m seen alive and well
by my son.

(CHUCKLES) You see,

you’ve gone from suspect
number one

to an impossibility.

Leave the way you came

and don’t be seen.

(GASPS SOFTLY)

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Ransom?

Are you back again already?

HARLAN: Drive home.

And sometime
in the next few days

the police will question you.

No. No, no, no. No!

I can’t lie!

You know I can’t lie!
I’ll puke!

Well, then don’t lie.
Tell fragments of the truth.

In this exact order.

(COIN RINGING)

(RINGING STOPS)

I took him upstairs.

We played our nightly
game of Go.

At some point,
he knocked the board over

and Joni came up to check on us.

Um…

I gave him pain medication.

He pulled his shoulder
last week.

Um…

And I left him in his study.

At midnight

I said goodbye to Walt,

went home.

What kind of medication
did you give him?

Since his injury,
I’ve been giving him

a 100 milligram IV push
of Toradol.

It’s a non-narcotic analgesic.

And to help him sleep,

three milligrams of morphine.

ELLIOTT: And the family
was aware of this?

MARTA: Yes, of course.

ELLIOTT: Did you notice
anything strange

or off about his demeanor?

No.

(STOMACH GURGLES SOFTLY)

Well, that sounds about right.

Thank you, Miss Cabrera.

(RETCHING)

WALT: Hey, sis, people are
gonna start getting here

for the memorial pretty soon.
(SNIFFLES)

Are you…

(SIGHS)

Are you all right?

I was just thinking
about Dad’s games.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)
This all feels like one.

Like something he’d write,
not do.

I keep waiting for
the big reveal.

(VOICE BREAKING)
Where it’ll make sense.

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Oh, Walt.

(SOBBING)

FRAN: I don’t think
he killed himself.

I don’t. I really don’t.

There’s this Hallmark movie

called Deadly by Surprise
with Danica McKellar.

And in it, she plays this wife

who’s getting poisoned
by her husband,

but he’s doing it
little by little,

so she doesn’t know it

and she goes crazy,
and she kills herself.

And my cousin,
who’s a receptionist

at the medical
examiner’s office,

she says that stuff
totally happens.

It’s not even 3% as crazy

as the stuff she’s seen
come through there.

So, I’m just like…

JONI: Oh, God, yeah!

I mean, don’t like him
because you love him.

RICHARD: No, I don’t like him,
he’s an asshole.

But maybe an asshole
is what we needed.

Oh, my God, yeah,

an asshole is what
Germany needed

in 1930-whatever.

RICHARD: Here we go.

Come on, Joni, those two
things don’t even conflate.

JONI: There is the problem…
Oh, Jesus.

JONI: You do not care
about anybody’s feelings…

I’m gonna disappear until
the politics talk is done.

JONI: You, my friend…

You want some champers?

I can’t.
I’m technically working.

JONI: Why don’t you take off
your red cap, Richard,

and look around you?

The streets are literally
flooded with Nazis.

No, no, no. No, no, no.

We are losing our way of life
and our culture.

That’s right.

DONNA: There are millions
of Mexicans coming.

Oh, God, really?
Don’t make this a race thing.

You always make this
a race thing.

Yeah, this is not about race.
I would say the same thing

If they were
European immigrants.

Oh, yeah? So, if the
Swiss were, like,

clogging in the streets…
No. No, no, we allow them in

And they think
they own what’s ours.

They’re putting children
in cages!

I mean, these are camps!
Yes.

RICHARD: Come on, Joni,

nobody’s saying that isn’t bad,

but the parents have
some blame here.

Oh, for what? For wanting
a better life for their kids?

Isn’t that what America is…

For breaking the law!

(GROANS) My God.

RICHARD: And you’re gonna
hate hearing this,

but it’s true,
America is for Americans.

JONI: Don’t point at me.

Where’s Marta?
Is she still here?

LINDA: Oh, God, don’t.
RICHARD: Marta!

Come on over.
No, Richard.

Come on over, Marta.
Please, come over.

JONI: You’re shitting me.

Marta,

your family is from Uruguay,
but you did it right.

I mean, what I’m saying is
they did it legally.

She did it the right way.

You work hard,

and you’ll earn your share
from the ground up.

Just like Dad
and like all the rest of us.

And I’ll bet you
agree with me, right?

Oh, just leave the poor girl
alone, Richard.

It’s okay! I just wanna hear what
she has to say!

It’s okay, Marta, you can speak.

JONI: Oh, sweetheart,
don’t feel pressure to answer.

This is just a…
RICHARD: Look…

JONI: Please don’t.
If you wanna

Become an American,

there are legal ways to do it.

But if you break the law,

it doesn’t matter
how good your heart is,

you gotta face the consequences!

RANSOM:
Are you goddamn insane?

HARLAN: It’s done.
RANSOM: Hey! I’m warning you.

FRAN: That’s when I ask her,
I’m like,

“Tonya, what is wrong
with people?”

Literally.

Oh, my God!
Marta, what?

Marta?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)

What’s the matter?

Whoa, whoa.
Hey. Breathe.

FRAN: Oh, my gosh.

Marta, are you okay?

Hey, Fran, do you still
have your stash?

Take ’em whenever you need ’em.

They’re just drying out
since you gave me that Juul.

Thanks, Fran.

Hey. Hey.
I’m sorry.

No, just… No, stop…
I’m sorry.

I’m just very, very sorry.

Stop saying
you’re sorry. Jesus!

I hate this. Oh, God,
my heart won’t stop…

I can’t…

(EXHALES)

It’s just everything…
No, thank you.

That’s where Fran
keeps her stash?

(CHUCKLES)

Who’s gonna open a clock?

(LOUDLY) Do you want
dinner, Nana?

Dinner? To eat?

To eat?
LINDA: Walt?

Nana?
Walt, Walt, she’s fine.

She ate the entire
salmon spread already.

Walt? Did you tell Marta yet,
what we all talked about?

No, not yet.
Is now a good time?

Yes. Yes,
a very good time, right now.

WALT: Oh, okay.

All right. Calm down.

Marta,

we’ve been
talking it over and, uh…

Have you been smoking grass?

No.

Mmm-hmm.
Come on.

Marta, we’ve been
talking it over,

and, uh, the whole family,

we’d like to take care of you.

What does that mean?

We all think that
you deserve something.

Financially,
we’d like to help you out.

You were never anything
but good to Dad

and because of that we…

You can count on us.

Hmm?
Yeah.

I thought you should’ve been
at the funeral,

by the way, I was outvoted.

(CHUCKLES)

(LIGHTER CLICKS)
(GASPS)

MARTA: Detective.

You’re still here?

BENOIT: Mmm.

Did you know Harlan?

BENOIT: He knew my father,

who was a police detective
years ago.

Oh.

My father respected Harlan.

That says quite a lot.

Is that why you’re here?

Here now, here?

(CHUCKLES) No.

I stayed hoping to speak
to you a little more.

Something is afoot
with this whole affair.

I know it.

I believe you know it, too.

So you’re gonna keep digging?

Harlan’s detectives, they dig.

They riffle and root.

Truffle pigs.

I anticipate the terminus
of Gravity’s Rainbow.

Gravity’s Rainbow?

It’s a novel.

Yeah, I know.

I haven’t read it though.

Neither have I.

Nobody has.

But I like the title.

It describes
the path of a projectile

determined by natural law.

Et voila, my method.

I observe the facts

without biases
of the head or heart.

I determine the arc’s path,

stroll leisurely to its terminus

and the truth falls at my feet.

The medical examiner was ready
to rule this a suicide,

but Elliott agreed to keep it
pending for 48 hours.

Tomorrow morning,

I search the grounds
and the house,

begin my investigation.

I want you to be
by my side for it.

What?
My confidante.

My eyes and ears.

Hey. Wait, wait,
Detective. Why me?

I trust your kind heart.

Also, you’re the only one

who had nothing to gain
from Harlan’s death.

So how about it, Watson?

MARTA: Hey, Detective?

If you want my insight
into the family…

None of them are murderers.

That’s my insight.

And yet,

be it cruel or comforting,

this machine unerringly
arrives at the truth.

That’s what it does.

Always?

Tomorrow at 8:00.

(KNOCK AT DOOR ON TV)

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(TV CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)

HARLAN: I know
I’ve missed something.

There’s gonna be something
I missed.

MARTA: Harlan.
But I know you can do this.

MARTA: No, I can’t.

HARLAN:
Without losing your soul,

you have to do
what you have to do…

No.
To beat this and win.

Harlan, I can’t.

You can. And you have to.

No.

For me.

Right now!
(GASPS)

(BREATHING DEEPLY)

Harlan, I have to get you help.

HARLAN: You do as I say

and everything
will be just fine.

No. No.

I promise.

But…

(GASPS)

(SOBBING QUIETLY)

(CHARACTERS SPEAKING
SPANISH ON TV)

(WHISTLES)

MR. PROOFROC: Fifty years ago,
I worked this estate.

You know, security back then
was such that

you had to make
the rounds with a 94

and keep your ears open.

Now you’ve got
all this modern technology.

Now, that’s the video there.

I saved the tape
from that night.

Normally, I erase ’em
with a magnetic degausser,

but in this case, I thought
I’d just save it, you know?

For security.

Now, uh,
that’s a live feed there.

HARLAN: To avoid
the security cameras,

pull off the road
after the carved elephant.

ELLIOTT: All right, well,
can we see the actual tape?

MR. PROOFROC:
Well, of course you can.

I recorded it SSLP.

There’s eight hours
in that tape.

9:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m.

WAGNER: Looks like
a Japanese horror movie.

BENOIT: You think we could
scan forward on that?

WAGNER: Are we all gonna die
in seven days?

How can we scan forward?

Oh, yeah, just hold
the play button down

and press FF
until you hear it grind.

(WHIRRING)

WAGNER: All right.
Should be coming up now

to the time
when the party ended.

MARTA: What happened?

You gotta keep holding it down
or else it’ll eject.

That thing eats tapes
like popcorn.

You think your guys
can digitize this

so we could scan it properly?

WAGNER: Yeah,
I think we can do that.

I got it.

WAGNER: You know,
all these statues

that you see around here?

They’re all straight out
of the series,

The Menagerie Tragedy Trilogy.

Pretty cool.
ELLIOTT: Awesome.

WAGNER: Yeah.

ELLIOTT: Benny,
it’s beautiful out here,

but do you really think
someone broke into the house

and murdered Harlan?
Is that why we’re out here?

BENOIT: Oh, it is unlikely,

but if they did,
there will be traces.

Uh, I can hang on to that.

Yeah.

(BENOIT HUMMING)

Hey, Wagner,
you got any luck on…

(SNAPS FINGERS)

Uh, what’s-his-name?
Ransom?

Yeah.
No.

Did get an address though.

ELLIOTT: Yeah?

WAGNER: 10 Kenoak Street.

BENOIT: Ken… Kenoak?

WAGNER: Uh-huh.
BENOIT: Kenoak.

It’s a pleasant thing
to say, isn’t it?

Kenoak.

I awoke amid Kenoak.

(CHUCKLES)
That’s funny. Ken-oh-kia.

WAGNER:
All these leaves and mud,

they’re really gonna do
a number on my boots, man.

Mud. Did it rain
the past week?

No, stay there!
WAGNER: What?

Whoa!

Okay.

We got footprints here,
so, uh…

Oh.
I wanna, um…

Marta…

Stop.
What?

BENOIT: Um…
What?

Marta, stay there.

MARTA: What?
No, Marta! Stay there, Marta.

No! No!
I couldn’t hear. If you…

Did you call me?
All right.

All right.
Excuse me.

All right.
Come here.

Wagner, we’re gonna
need to call the boys,

have ’em come down here,

take a look at all these tracks.

Get it taped off.
Stay on that side.

MARTA: I’m sorry.
Watch out. Watch out.

ELLIOTT: Okay.
(DOGS BARKING)

Hey! Yeah!

Hussie? Hussie, hey.

(WHIMPERS)

Best judge of character
is a dog.

Good boy.
I’ve found that to be true.

(CAR DOOR CLOSES)

(WAGNER STUTTERS)
(DOG BARKS)

Yes!

My puppies!

LINDA: Yes.
Yeah, well,

They’ve got plans to read
the will at around 10:00,

so, the whole family
will be here soon.

I’ve never been
to a will reading.

Oh, well…

You think it’d be like a game show,

but think of a community
theater production

of a tax return.

So, what are we looking for?

BENOIT: Oh, you know,

anything suspicious
or out of the ordinary.

You’ll know it when you see it.

(SOFTLY)
Oh, my God.

BENOIT: Sweet beans!

Well…

Good morning, Mrs. Thrombey.

You think you could
handle the study?

Where’s your medical bag?

I don’t know.
I left it here.

I always leave it here
with Harlan at night.

They must have
taken it in as evidence.

I’ll look into that.

Mmm.

(FOOTSTEPS RECEDING)
(STAIRS CREAKING)

BENOIT: Shit.

How’d the Go board
get knocked over?

MARTA: We were just
goofing around.

What are you thinking?

(CLATTERS SOFTLY)

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

(DOGS BARKING)

No! No, no, no!
Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh, let me guess.

Hey! Stop. Stop.

Stop. Stop.

Hugh Drysdale?

Ransom. Call me Ransom,
it’s my middle name.

Only the help calls me Hugh.

Okay.

Uh, this is Trooper Wagner.

I’m Lieutenant Elliott.

We just wanna ask
a few questions.

WAGNER: Excuse me?

Sir?

We’re officers of the law!

RANSOM: You gonna run me in?
I don’t feel like talking.

I’m distraught.

Hey, Benny, you wanna ask
this guy some questions?

All right, what is this?
What’s this arrangement?

BENOIT: Mr. Drysdale.

CSI KFC?

(SCOFFING)

(CHUCKLES)

RANSOM: Hey, Frannie,

how about a glass of cold milk?

MEG: Hey, asshole.

Not her name, not her job.

Hey, Meg.
How’s the SJW degree coming?

Trust fund prick.

All right, guys.

ALAN: Hey.

Hey. Everyone…

I’m just gonna be
in the other room, setting up.

Be ready in 10 minutes.

Funny, Ransom,
you skipped the funeral,

but you’re early
for the will reading.

JONI: Okay, people grieve
in different ways.

Let’s not…

You know what?
It’s funny you’re here at all.

Why are you even bothering?

That’s what I’m asking myself.

What’s that supposed to mean?

He knows what it’s
supposed to mean.

Wait… Walt, what?

Jacob was in that bathroom
the night of the party.

(CHUCKLES)
Oh, that’s where you were all night?

RICHARD: What the hell
were you doing

in the bathroom all night?

Nothing.
Swatting Syrian refugees?

No, I was not.

Alt-right troll.

Liberal snowflake.

I don’t know what
any of that means.

It means your son’s
a little creep.

WALT: Oh!

My son’s a creep?

JONI: Guys, just…

Walt, he was in the bathroom.

Yeah, he was in the bathroom.

Joylessly masturbating
to pictures of dead deer.

(SIGHS)
You know what, Richard?

You wanna go?

You bet, skippy, let’s go.

You wanna go?
Come on!

You better watch out, man.

Walt, stop it right now!
WALT: Son of a bitch!

Stop it! Just stop!
Stop it!

DONNA: Let go!
Let go, Richard!

WALT: I have been waiting
for this my whole life!

LINDA: Stop it, right now!
Donna, I can handle myself!

LINDA: Stop it!
I can handle it.

Oh, my God.

(CHUCKLES)
We gotta do this more often.

Hey!

Jacob.

We know where this is going.

You were in the bathroom
next to Harlan’s office,

where he had the fight
with Ransom.

Now, you heard something.

Spill it.

I just heard two things.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

HARLAN: my will.

“My will.”

And then there was more yelling.

And then I heard Ransom say…

“I’m warning you.”

LINDA: Ransom…

What’s that mean?

I think it means our father
finally came to his senses

and cut this worthless
little brat out of his will.

So I guess you’re gonna have
to sell the Beemer

and give your notice
at the country club,

and kick whatever
fashion drug you’re on.

Because if you think

that after all the bridges
you’ve burned,

after all the shit you said,

after everything that
you put this family through

for the last 10 years,

that any of us
are gonna support you

that any of us
are gonna give you,

like Dad liked to say,

“a single red dime…”

you’re nuts!

(INHALES SHARPLY)

(MOUTHING) Wow.

Son…

Father.

(SIGHS) Did Harlan tell you

he was gonna cut you
out of the will?

Yep.

(SMACKS LIPS)

Well, then he’s done

what none of us were
strong enough to do.

Maybe this might finally
make you grow up.

LINDA:
This might be the best thing

that could ever happen to you.

Thank you. My mother,
ladies and gentlemen.

Look, this is
not gonna be easy for you,

but it’ll be good.

Nothing good is ever easy.

Up your ass, Joni.

You’ve had your teeth in this
family’s tit for a long time.

“Up your ass”?
Oh, very nice.

Matter of fact, eat shit.

JONI: Oh, my God, Ransom.

What?
RANSOM: How’s that?

Please do not use that word

in front of my son.
In fact, eat shit. Eat shit.

JONI: If I wasn’t practicing…

RANSOM: Eat shit.
You entitled prick!

I would slap that
smug smile right off…

Definitely eat shit.

Of your goddamn face!

RANSOM: Eat shit.
You can all eat shit.

(ALL CLAMORING)

WALT: I’m not eating
one iota of shit!

MARTA: What was that about
will readings being boring?

BENOIT: The exception
that proves the rule.

(DOOR OPENS)

(SIGHS) Asshole.

“I’m warning you.”

Ransom said,
“I’m warning you.”

Well, you heard Ransom in there.

That’s the kind of
thing he says.

You want this?
You want this?

(DOG BARKS)

What do we have here?

This looks like
a relatively fresh break.

Yep. Right there.

Wait a minute.

Well, that doesn’t make sense.

Where’s that window?

How about some
more cookies, Hugh?

You want some more cookies?
That’s great. That’s great.

WALT:
Hey, maybe Harlan left you

a cold glass of milk
in his will. Asshole.

Show me.
But stay off the carpet.

(THROMBEYS CONTINUE ARGUING)

WAGNER: It’s the trick window

from A Kill For All Seasons.

BENOIT: Trooper, here, will you?
Take this.

Hmm.

Traces of dried mud.

I suspect they go
the length of the hallway.

Footprints?

BENOIT: No, just traces.

Yeah, depending on when
this thing was last cleaned,

this could have happened
at any time, right?

No, that would not explain this.

Analyze that mud.

It will match these traces.

Take this to Jamie.

BENOIT: And you will find
similar samples

leading up the trellis
on the outside of the house.

On the night of the party,

somebody who did not want to
be heard climbing those steps,

went to a great deal of trouble

to break into
Harlan Thrombey’s rooms.

The game is afoot, eh, Watson?

ALAN: Well, thank you all for
getting together like this.

It isn’t legally necessary,

but I thought because
you’re all in town,

and some of you
are leaving soon…

Excuse me.

Uh, I’m sorry.

Ladies and gentlemen,
I would like to gently request

that you all stay in town

until the investigation
is completed.

ELLIOTT: Yeah, well,
he’s gently requesting,

but I’m gonna have
to make that an order.

No one move until we figure
this all out.

What?

Can we ask why?

Has something changed?
No.

No, it hasn’t changed?
Or no, we can’t ask?

BENOIT: Mr. Stevens…

You may continue.

ALAN: Right. Well…

The other reason I thought

this gathering
would be, uh, beneficial

is because
Harlan altered his will

a week before he died.

He sealed it.

He asked me not to submit it
to the courts

for probate
until after his death.

So, if anyone is confused
about anything,

we’re all together, we can talk.

Although I don’t imagine
any of it

is going to be that complicated.

Uh, Harlan’s assets included…

Um…

The house.
The house,

Which he owned outright.

Um…

$60 million.

Yes. $60 million
in various cash accounts

and investments.

And of course,

the real asset,

sole ownership
of Blood Like Wine,

his publishing company.

He also wrote up a statement
when he was making the changes

and he wanted that read first.

“Dearest Linda,
Walter, and Joni…

“Some of you may be surprised
by the choice I’ve made here.

“No pleasure was taken
in the exclusion.

“And its purpose was not to sow

“greater discord in the family,

“quite the opposite.

“Please accept it with grace
and without bitterness,

“but do accept it,

“it’s for the best. Dad.”

Um…

Wow. Well, yeah,
not too complex at all.

This will be quick.

(CHUCKLES)

“I, Harlan Thrombey,
being of sound mind and body”

and yada-yada-yada…

“I hereby direct
that all my assets,

“both liquid and otherwise…

“I leave in their entirety
to Marta Cabrera.

“My entire ownership
of Blood Like Wine publishing,

“I leave in its entirety
to Marta Cabrera,

“the copyright
of its catalogue likewise

“I leave in its entirety
to Marta Cabrera.”

LINDA: What?

WALT: Uh…

JONI: What?
No.

That’s not… That’s… No.
LINDA: No.

That can’t be.
LINDA: No.

WALT: Can I see that
please, Alan?

Yeah. It’s right.
Please.

LINDA: This can’t be legal.

It’s right.

You know, he was…
DONNA: Oh, my God.

RICHARD:
Aren’t there safeguards…

JONI: Alan, there’s a mistake.

WALT: I don’t know what to say.

We’re his family, so…
(LAUGHING)

LINDA: It’s not possible.

RICHARD: Are there safeguards
against this?

WALT: Right mind.
Something…

RICHARD: You know…
Alan, listen…

He was on medication.
In his final days,

He was on a great deal
of medication.

RICHARD: Morphine?
All right, morphine.

I mean, I don’t know.
JONI: This is confusing.

She seems like family…
Alan, you can take…

But she’s not our family.
This piece of paper

And shove it right up your ass,
and get out!

And, you cops, too, out.

RICHARD: Linda?
LINDA: Out! Right now.

Hey, Linda?
No, Richard, we need to talk.

We need to fight this thing.
We’re not going anywhere.

I said get out!

We are the Thrombeys,
God damn it!

This is still our house!

Hmm?

Oh, sorry.

“Likewise the house
at 2 Deerborn Drive

“and all belongings therein,

“I leave to Marta Cabrera.”

(ALL GROAN)
(GASPS)

Oh, you little bitch!

You little bitch!

RICHARD: Linda?

LINDA: Did you know about this?

Were you in on this
from the beginning?

DONNA: This is unbelievable!
RICHARD: Easy.

No, no, no! I just wanna know.
What were you…

What were you doing?
Were you boinking my father?

MEG: “Boinking”?
WALT: No, no, no.

I think everybody just needs
to cool their jets.

You had sex with my grandpa,
you dirty anchor baby!

Now hold your horses.

And in the meantime,
I’d maybe run.

WALT: Wait, wait, wait, Marta?

BENOIT: Now,
would you please…

Ladies and gentlemen, please.
Marta, talk to us.

(DOOR OPENS)
JONI: Marta?

Wait a minute.

I totally understand how
you must be feeling right now.

LINDA: You cannot leave!
You can talk to me.

I don’t know what to say.
I don’t know.

Calm down. Calm down.
LINDA: Marta, please…

Marta, listen, darling…

I don’t know what’s happening.
I don’t know why he…

Guys, I’m also confused.
I need to think!

Marta! Are you listening?

WALT: I can’t catch up!

(CLAMORING)

I understand. I understand.
Richard! Open the door!

(ENGINE STALLING)
Open up that door!

You are scaring her!
I can’t open the damn door!

MEG: Marta, go. Marta, go.
(ENGINE STALLING)

WALT: Marta,
you have to understand.

He is our father!

RICHARD: Marta, listen to me.

JONI: Marta, don’t listen
to them. I’m here.

I’m not on Twitter anymore.

(HORN HONKS)

JONI: So DM me
on Instagram, okay?

I wanna talk to you.

(CLAMORING)

Ransom!

What the hell’s going on?

I think this could be
the best thing

to happen to all of you!

What does he mean by that?

Richard, why didn’t
you stop her?

RICHARD:
What am I supposed to do?

Grab the bumper with my teeth?

(LAUGHS)

Okay, seriously, though,
what the hell?

RANSOM: Hey.
I’ll take an extra bowl.

WAITRESS: Sure.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

You look like
you’re gonna pass out.

Have you eaten anything today?

Eat.

MARTA: This is a nightmare.

Mmm-hmm.

So why?

Why?

Why?

Hey. This is everything.

There’s gotta be a bigger reason why,
and you know it.

Well, how about
it had to do more

with you guys than with me?

Yeah.

Yeah, it’s the only thing
that makes sense.

Did he tell you anything?

Only that I wasn’t
getting a cent.

That’s because he wanted you

to build something from
the ground up like your mom.

“To build something
from the ground up.”

Yeah, my mother built her business
from the ground up

with a million-dollar loan
from my grandfather.

My father owns none of it.
She made him sign a prenup.

He lives in fear.

And I know that’s what
my grandfather was trying

to protect me from by doing this

and I know I shouldn’t say
this out loud,

but when he told me, I…

Jesus.

I coulda killed him.

After I left the party though,
I was driving.

Nowhere, just in the night,
and I had this, um…

Clarity.

Like, from here on out,

I was gonna have to
fend for myself.

And that felt…

Good.

The old bastard.

(SIGHS)

Marta, I know three things.

One…

I know he didn’t commit suicide.

What makes you think that?

I don’t think it.

I know it.

Because I knew my granddad.

Maybe you and I were
the only two who knew him,

so you’re not gonna bullshit me
on this because, two…

I know lying makes you puke.

‘Cause of that mafia game
last Fourth of July.

(CLICKS TONGUE) And three…

I know you just ate

a full plate of baked beans
and sausage.

So…

Look me in the eye

and tell me what happened
to my grandfather.

You asshole.
Marta,

Tell me everything.

(SIGHS)

WALT: Alan, there have got
to be options here.

ALAN: No.

I don’t know how many times

I can repeat the same
two pieces of information.

If Harlan was of sound mind
when he made the changes,

and we all
confirmed that he was…

Would a sound mind do this?

How… Sound, how?

The very action
speaks to unsoundness.

Not legally. No.

You not liking what he did

does not speak
to testamentary capacity.

What about undue influence?

Yeah! Undue influence,
how about that? Huh?

Did you just google that?

Look, if Marta was
manipulating Dad somehow

and if we found out…
If somehow, she had gotten…

That somehow she was…
her hooks into him…

You need a strong case for that.

“Your Honor,
she endeared herself to him

“through hard work
and good humor.”

That won’t cut the salami.

JONI: What about
the slayer rule?

I did just google that.

The slayer rule obviously
doesn’t apply here.

Well, what the hell
is the slayer rule?

Well, it’s if
someone is convicted

of killing the person,

they don’t get
their inheritance.

Not even convicted.

Even if they’re held responsible

for their death in civil court.

Like O.J.?

Yes, like O.J.

But Harlan committed suicide.

JONI: Detective Blanc?

You said
the investigation is ongoing.

You made a point of that.

Do you suspect foul play?

Mr. Blanc,
if you please…

There is much
that remains unclear,

but yes,

I suspect foul play.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

Marta?

I have eliminated no suspects.

You’re full of shit.

I don’t trust this guy
in the tweed suit.

And, Alan, God bless you,
you’re useless.

Thank you.

There’s only one answer to this.

She has to renounce
the inheritance.

She knows it’s what she should do.

That’s exactly what she…
It’s the right thing to do.

Right?
No way…

RICHARD: It’s the moral thing.

MEG: Mom.
RICHARD: She’ll do it.

If Granddad wanted to give
Marta everything,

then that’s what he wanted.

No.

This wasn’t him. He loved us.

He wanted us taken care of.

He wanted you
to have an education.

Meg,

you think I can pay
for your school?

(SCOFFS)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

I know.

Just saying it,
it sounds insane,

but it’s all true.

And I think Blanc’s been
on to me from the start.

I don’t care if I go to jail,
but my mom,

my sister?

We…

You gonna say something?

I always thought
I was the only one

that could beat him at Go.

Always thought
that meant something.

Um, yeah, I know you did.

That night at the party,

my last conversation with him…

My last argument,

that’s what he
told me about you.

That you beat him at Go more
than I do, and I thought…

What a strange thing to tell me.

Think I get it now.

Maybe it did mean something.

(CLEARS THROAT)

I’m not gonna tell
my family shit.

You’re not gonna go to jail.

That detective is not
gonna catch you.

And you’re not gonna
give up the money.

This is what Granddad
wanted for you.

I mean, think about what he did
to go through with this.

He wanted this for himself,
he wanted this for the family.

And he wanted it for you.

You’ve come this far.

Let me help you go all the way.

What’s going on?
This isn’t you.

You could just
turn me in right now

and still get your cut
of the inheritance.

Why?

Because fuck my family.

I can help you
get away with this.

And then,

you’re gonna give me
my cut of the inheritance.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

Happy ending. Everybody wins.
You, me…

Harlan.

Yeah.

Deal?

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

Meg.

MEG: Marta…

That was nuts.

I know.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Are you?

Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine, I…

Look, no one knows
I’m calling you, I just…

I wanted to…

I wanted to say sorry
for how everyone was.

And, uh…

I guess, I wanted to ask,
what are you gonna do?

What do you mean?

Well, the…

You know, with the will,
what are you gonna do?

What do you think I should do?

You should do
whatever you think is right.

Mmm-hmm.

Look, I…

I think you should
give it back to us.

(SCOFFS)

Granddad always took care of us.

You know, we’re his family.

And I know
he was like family to you,

but we’re his actual family.

Yeah.

And… Look, Marta,

you know this isn’t fair.

We’ve always been good to you

and you’re like family,
and we’ll take care of you,

but you have
to make things right.

You know what’s right.

Marta…

Mom’s broke.

And she says I’m gonna
have to drop out of school.

No. No, no, Meg.

Listen, I won’t let that happen.

Whatever money you need,
I’ll give it to you.

I’m here for you.

And I want you to know
I’m gonna take care of you,

I promise that.

Okay?

Thanks.

And once I…
(CELL PHONE BEEPS)

Okay then.

Did Blanc find anything
suspicious at the house?

(SIGHS)

Yes, he found mud upstairs.

Where I broke in
through the window.

(SOFTLY) Shit.

Identifiable prints?

No.

Good. Okay.

Good. Hey…

You lay low for a couple days,

wait for this investigation
to blow over,

and it will.

‘Cause no matter how good
this Blanc guy thinks he is,

he’s got nothin’.

Hey, relax.

(LOUD KNOCK ON DOOR)
(GASPS)

Marta, get your ass up!

What the hell is happening?

There’s a guy here,
and a bunch of stuff.

Everything’s going crazy.
Are we rich?

Maybe, Alice.
I don’t know.

ALICE: I don’t even know
what that means,

but you better get
your ass up, okay?

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

We don’t know much
about Marta Cabrera,

or her exact relationship…
Oh, my God…

With Harlan Thrombey…
Marta, what is all this?

Beyond being his home nurse.

What did you do?

Is that here?

Oh, yeah, it is.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER OUTSIDE)

Wait, so is that true?

Are we rich?

NEWSCASTER: This is
a story so compelling…

Oh, my God.

You would think he had
written the story himself.

(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

BENOIT: Good morning,
Mrs. Thrombey.

Why is grief
the providence of youth?

I don’t know.

But I’d imagine that age deepens
all feelings.

Including grief.

This was a long walk
to offering condolences

for the loss of your son.

And asking you,
if it isn’t presumptuous of me,

not to think too harshly
of your family,

if I am, as I suspect,
the first to console you.

They’re young, aren’t they?

One thing I assume of age

is weariness.

Damned if I don’t get
more tired every day.

Tired of what I do.

Following arcs
like lobbed rocks,

the inevitability of truth.

But the complexity and the gray

lie not in the truth

but what you do with the truth
once you have it.

I think you have something
you wanna tell me.

I think you’re very perceptive

and very capable
of telling me what you saw

the night of your son’s party.

But I’ll happily wait.

I’m in no rush.

In fact,

I find it quiet pleasant

sitting here with you.

(OPERA MUSIC CONTINUES)

Lawyers were here.

Very big lawyers,
it looked like.

They left all this stuff
and business cards.

And there was
a pile of other stuff

when I got home.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH) I don’t like
any of this, Marta.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

(IN ENGLISH)
I don’t like it either.

I’m slipping out the back.

I’ll be back later.
Please don’t talk to anyone.

(SPEAKS SPANISH)

Walt?

Yeah, I came, uh…

Hey, how you doin’?

(CHUCKLES)

Walt, I want you to know

that I didn’t know
about any of this.

We know you didn’t.
This is…

We know you didn’t.

Yeah, we all kind of went
a little crazy yesterday.

Understandable.
Yeah.

I haven’t even
looked at all this, yet.

WALT: It must just be
local lawyers and accountants

who saw the news
and wanna get a jump on it.

Yeah. I’d be careful
of all of it.

Marta, is it your intention
to renounce the inheritance?

This is what Harlan wanted.

(SIGHS)

Yeah, but…

Harlan put you in a very hard
position here. I mean,

it was unfair of him.

I mean, you see

the kind of press and scrutiny
that this kicks up

and we know, with your mother…

My mother?

Yeah.

What did Meg tell you?

Oh, this isn’t about…
(CHUCKLES)

You’re missing the point.

We don’t wanna
attack you with this,

but, Marta, if your mother

came into the country illegally,

criminally.

And you’ve come
into this inheritance,

with all the scrutiny
that entails,

I’d be afraid
that could come to light.

And that’s what
we wanna avoid here.

We can protect you

from that happening,

or if it happens.

So you’re saying that
even if it came to light,

with your family’s resources,
you could help me fix it?

Yeah.

Yeah, with the right
lawyers, you know?

Not these local guys,

but New York lawyers,
DC lawyers,

with enough resources
put toward it, yes.

Not that that ever even
needs to come up,

but, yes.

Okay, good.

Okay?

Because Harlan gave me
all your resources.

So that means with my resources,

I’ll be able to fix it.

So I guess
I will find the right lawyers.

Uh, Marta, that’s…

You better be sure that’s

what you want.

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

RANSOM: I don’t know…
What’s this?

MARTA: It’s my
medical bag tag.

They have my medical bag
for some reason.

Okay, but this is a photocopy
of just the header

of a blood toxicology report
on Harlan.

Marta, this is gonna show
the morphine overdose.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

So I’m screwed?

How do you know all this stuff?

I was Harlan’s research assistant
for a summer.

But what kind of
blackmail scheme is this?

I mean, the actual evidence

is sitting up the street,
at the crime lab.

There’s no demands,
there’s no meeting place.

What’s the point
in sending you this?

(SIREN WAILING)

FIRE CHIEF: It could be
a half hour.

It could be an hour.
It depends.

We wanna make sure…

(WHISTLES)

FIRE CHIEF:
So, it could take a while.

BENOIT: What’s the cheese?
But I’ll let you know.

ELLIOTT: Oh, hey.
FIRE CHIEF: Yeah.

ELLIOTT: Thank you, Chief.
FIRE CHIEF: No problem.

5:00 a.m.

Security systems
here are all triggered.

Now, this thing
went up really quick,

so that means
blood stores, records,

anything of that nature,
it’s all gone.

There were no employees here,

so, thank God for that.

Mmm-hmm.

What about security cameras?

Oh, yeah.

Speaking of security,

the surveillance tape
at the Thrombey estate

was all scrambled
for some reason.

Yeah.

What’s still pending
from the autopsy?

Just a report on the blood work.

Blood work?

MARTA: Holy shit.

This is insane.

I mean, who would blow up
a whole real building

just to blackmail me?

Marta, this means
the blackmailer

has the only paper copy

of the thing that
can prove your guilt.

You didn’t get
any other instructions?

No phone call?
No email? Nothing?

No.

Well, I haven’t
checked my email.

There is one.

RANSOM: Yeah, that’s it.
“1209, Columbus Road. 10 a.m.”

You know what this means, right?

If you destroy that copy,

you’re totally in the clear.

MARTA: Oh, no.

Marta, did you hear me?

MARTA: Yeah.

(TIRES SQUEAL)

Elliott!

We gotta go!
We gotta go!

Okay, baby driver.

Oh, God.

You regret helping me yet?

I regret not taking the Beemer.

(SIRENS WAILING)

MARTA: Oh, shit.

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

Vehicles in pursuit

on Washington Street.
No force.

Make sure you say “no force.”
No force.

We got a possible
murder suspect.

I said that. I said that.

(ENGINE RUMBLING)

Go. Go! Go!
Are you flooring it?

I am literally flooring it!

(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

(HORN HONKING)

(MOUTHING)

This is going well.
I’m pulling over. I’m…

If you miss your chance

to get this tox report,
it’s all over.

Oh, my God.

(BRAKES SCREECH)

Whoa!
Whoa!

Why… Why are we stopping?

Why are you stopping
in the middle of the road?

(SIRENS CONTINUE WAILING)

Hold on.

(HORN HONKING)

MARTA: Oh, my God, I’m just
pure adrenaline right now.

I feel like I swallowed bees.

Okay…

So where is it?
What’s the address?

1209, Columbus Road.

Okay. I mean,
whatever they want,

I’ll say yes…
Anything.

You know, just to get
that report back.

Get it back and destroy it.
Destroy it.

Holy shit, Ransom.

Hey, thank you.

I couldn’t do this without you.

(INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER)
Oh, my God.

Get out.

That was the dumbest
car chase of all time.

Put your hands down.

I spoke to Wanetta Thrombey,
Greatnana.

Night of the party,
she saw someone

climbing the trellis
to the third floor.

Mr. Drysdale, come on.

WAGNER: Let’s go.

ELLIOTT: Pat him down,
check him out.

MARTA: What’s going on?

BENOIT: “Ransom came back,”
she said.

WAGNER: Hands on the vehicle.

I don’t know
what he came back to do,

but we’ll find out.

WAGNER: You got anything sharp?

Watch your head. Thank you.

Hey, you don’t need
to thank him.

Did he ask you to drive
when he saw me coming?

Yes.

(STOMACH GURGLES)

(GAGS, RETCHES)

ELLIOTT:
Blanc, coming with us?

BENOIT: I’ll drive with Marta.

Let’s go to the police station.

I want a full rundown
on everything he said to you.

I’ll catch you up
on where we’re at.

Strange case from the start.

A case with a hole
in the middle.

A donut.

I’m just talking
through my process here,

let me know if this is boring.

I feel the noose tightening.

The family is truly desperate.

Desperate motives,

the mystery of who hired me,

the impossibility of the crime,

and yet…

A donut.

One central piece

and if it reveals itself,
the fog would lift,

the arc would resolve,
the Slinky become unkinked.

Do you mind
if I stop for a second?

I need to pick something up.

It’ll be very quick.

Sure.

It’ll be just a few minutes.

Watch the, uh,

door.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

MARTA: Hello?

(WATER DRIPPING)

Listen, I don’t know
what you want…

Whatever it is,
we can work it out.

But we have to figure it out
right here, right now.

And I’m leaving
with that report.

Hello?

(GASPS)

Fran?

(WHEEZING)

(GASPS)

No, no, no, no! Fran?

(STIFLED GASPING)

Oh, my God, Fran.

Can you hear me?

Fran, give me a sign
if you can hear me.

You…

Yes, it’s me. It’s Marta.

You called me here,
you sent me an email,

that’s why I’m here.
Did you take something?

I’m gonna call an ambulance
now, you’re gonna be okay.

You’re gonna be fine, okay?

Stay with me.
Copy…

What?
Copy…

Stashed…

What? What are you saying?

You did this.

Won’t get away with this.

Jesus, stop it!

(STIFLED GROANING)

(LINE RINGING)

(FRAN GASPS SOFTLY)

(GASPING STOPS)

DISPATCHER: 911,
what’s your emergency?

♪ The thought of you stays bright ♪

(SIREN WAILING)

♪ Sometimes I stand
in the middle of the floor ♪

♪ Not going left ♪

♪ Not going… ♪

Oh, Lord.

(INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT
OVER PA)

BENOIT: All right, my friend,
thank you for the update.

No need for that.

I’ll bring her in
once we get word

that the housekeeper is stable.

It’s still touch and go.

All right.

Listen, this is over.

People are getting hurt.

So I’m gonna tell you the truth.

Young Ransom just told
Lieutenant Elliott everything.

Good.

Wait, I hope he
didn’t cover for me.

Did he tell you the real truth

about me switching the…

(SIGHS) Yeah.

And the disguise bit?
Yes.

And the whole blackmail and…

Mmm-hmm.

But why did Fran
take my morphine?

I mean, obviously she had
swiped the bag from the house,

but she didn’t seem like
a user to me,

unless that’s why she needed
the blackmail money.

I don’t know,
it doesn’t matter anyway.

I have to tell the
Thrombeys myself,

I feel like I owe that to them.

I don’t think
that’s a good idea.

No, I have to do it.
I need to do it.

I gave the doctors my number,

so they’ll call if anything
changes with Fran.

All right.

I’ll round up the Thrombeys
at the house,

along with a police escort.

For the arrest after.

You can tell me your whole story
on the drive over.

I don’t want any more surprises.

MARTA: Fran said
it was stashed,

the copy, and then she said,

“You did this.
You won’t get away with it,”

and I called the ambulance.

That’s it.

All right.

You ready?

(SIGHS SOFTLY)

RICHARD: Oh!

Okay.

Well, has she
come to her senses?

Well, she’s standing
right there, Richard,

she can speak for herself.

Is the rest of the family here?

WALT: In the living room.

I think that it would be better

if we were to gather again
and get this over with.

Hey.
Hey.

I’m so sorry I told them
about your mom.

Meg, it’s okay.

I’m sorry. No…
I was scared. I just…

I didn’t wanna tell them.

I get it.

Trust me,

I understand.
It’s all right.

(SNIFFLES) I’m sorry.

(SIGHS, CHUCKLES)

God, I am so raiding
Fran’s stash after this.

BENOIT: I still think
this is a bad idea,

but the family is assembled.

I know where the tox report is.

She basically told me
where it was.

Anyways, this will
tie everything up.

And I just handed it to you.

God, you’re not much
of a detective, are you?

Well, to be fair,

you make
a pretty lousy murderer.

Perhaps we deserve each other.

You’ve always been good to me.

And what I’m about to say
isn’t gonna be easy

and you’re gonna be upset.

But I thought after
what you’ve gone through

the last few days,

that you deserved
to hear it from me.

Hmm.

I…
Excuse me!

You have not been good to her.

You have all
treated her like shit,

to steal back a fortune
that you lost,

and she deserves.

You’re a pack of vultures
at the feast!

Knives out, beaks bloody!

Well… (INHALES SHARPLY)

You’re not getting bailed out,
not this time.

Ms. Cabrera has
decided, definitively,

not to renounce the inheritance.

What?
What?

Furthermore, it will be
my professional recommendation

to the local authorities
that the manner of death

in the case of Harlan Thrombey
is ruled as suicide!

And the case is closed.
Blanc?

What?

Thank you all for coming.
Goodbye.

What’s going on?
Just tell me…

That’s certainly not
what I was expecting.

DONNA: No.
(DOG GROWLS)

RICHARD:
Is anybody else confused?

WALT: Not what I was expecting
to hear at all.

(CHUCKLES)

Are you gonna tell me
what the hell is going on?

Yes. Yes.

I just wanna come clean, okay?

It’s over.
Almost.

Blanc, what are we doing?

What’s going on?

I’m sorry. Officer Wagner.

Keep the family
out of this room,

and get ’em out
of the house if you can.

But stand by
with your additional officer.

Get the family out?

Yes, but not all of them.
Would you… (WHISPERS)

Thank you.

ELLIOTT: Blanc…
WAGNER: Yes, sir.

Come on, come on,
what’s all this drama?

Indulge me.
MARTA: Blanc,

I told Ransom, Ransom told you,

and I’m telling you now,

it is an immovable fact
that I killed Harlan.

Yes, you did, yes, he did, yes, you are.

Benoit Blanc: But… But, I spoke in the car about the hole at the center of this donut. And what you and Harlan did that fateful night seems at first glance to fill that hole perfectly. A donut hole in a donut’s hole. But we must look a little closer. And when we do, we see the donut hole has a hole in its center. It is not a donut hole, but a smaller donut with its own hole and our donut is not whole at all!

Blanc, look, I understand that this is amusing for you…

Why was I hired?

Why would someone hire me?

ELLIOTT: Someone fishing for a crime

to reverse the will, Blanc.
Come on.

But I was hired before
the sealed will was read.

So, yes,

the person must have known
the contents of the will.

But one step further,

that same person must have
known a crime was committed,

and further…

If the intent was to reverse
Marta’s inheritance,

they must have known
that Marta was responsible.

An intriguing combination
of factors.

Someone who knew what Marta did

wanted to expose it

but could not reveal
how they knew.

Fran!

She was blackmailing me.
She knew what I did.

Yeah, but Fran wanted money,

ergo she did not want
the crime exposed.

What if someone
in the family had observed

Marta doing
something suspicious?

But they would have had
no reason not to speak up.

(SIGHS)

The answer is not so simple.

Now with the entire solution
in my field of view,

the arc of this case
is a tragedy of errors.

(SIGHS) Marta it will not be easy
for you to hear.

But there is at least

one truly guilty party
behind it all,

guilty in the true sense
of acting with malice

and committing a heinous crime
with selfish intent.

Trooper Wagner.

Trooper Wagner?

No.

Marta, I’m so sorry.
I told them everything.

I figured it was up.
I’m sorry.

Hey. It’s all right, Ransom,
I’m glad you did.

Not exactly everything though.

MARTA: Is this about
what Greatnana told you?

She saw me that night.
She mistook me for Ransom.

We’ll get to that.

In the meanwhile,

Mr. Hugh Ransom Drysdale,

you might tell us all
why you hired me.

Why I hired you?

You’re right,
let’s back it up…

To the night of the party.

Your argument with Harlan.

What were the overheard words

by the Nazi child
masturbating in the bathroom?

“My will,” and
“I’m warning you.”

You and Harlan were drama mamas,

you shared a love of twisting the knife
into one another.

You see, I don’t believe

he would have
slipped it in halfway,

no, no, no.

I submit

Harlan told you everything.

You can’t be serious!

Not a red dime
or word of my work

to a single one of them,
you included.

Marta,

remind me what Ransom said

his conversation
with Harlan ended with?

Harlan told him that
I could beat him at Go.

BENOIT: And I asked myself,

“Marta?

“Why would the topic of the will

“have steered around
to Marta?”

There is one
obvious explanation…

You can’t be that crazy.

You’re not just gonna
throw away your fortune.

No. I’m giving it to Marta.

All of it.

(SCOFFS)

Your Brazilian nurse?

Are you goddamn insane?

I’m sane for the first time
in my life,

and I’ve done it.
Harlan, if you think

I’m gonna let this happen,

if you think I’m gonna
stand here and…

I’ve made the change
to my will. It’s done.

I’m warning you!

That’s some
heavy-duty conjecture.

Granted.

But it is the only way
what comes next makes sense.

So you storm out,
you drive off into the night.

You tell Marta later…

What was it?
Feeling an overwhelming sense of…

Clarity.

That he had to make do
for himself from here on out.

Exactly.

(BRAKES SCREECH)

Marta. The will. Harlan.

“Do for yourself.”

“You won’t get away with this.”

And a plan forms.

You return,

careful to avoid the gate’s
security camera range.

Then on foot up
towards the house,

you sneak in up the trellis,

so as not to be seen
by the rest of the family

who are still having
their party downstairs.

What you need to do
will take moments.

But it is essential that you
are alone and undetected.

You knew what
medications Harlan took.

You knew what Marta would be
injecting him with that night.

And you knew

if Marta was responsible
for his death,

even unintentionally,

the slayer rule would nullify
the changed will

and you would
get your share back.

You used the syringes in the kit

to switch the liquids
in the two medication vials.

And as a final precaution…

you took the Naloxone,

the lifesaving antidote.

MARTA: No. No, no, no,
that’s impossible.

BENOIT: That is the truth.

Hand me that vial of morphine,
I’ll show you.

If he did that,
if the meds were switched,

then when I got them
mixed up, I…

I accidentally
switched them back,

so I gave Harlan…

BENOIT: The correct doses.

Yes.

But not accidentally.

I taped over the label
of these two vials.

The vials themselves
are identical.

How’d you know
this was the morphine?

I just knew.

You knew because
there is the slightest,

almost imperceptible differences

of tincture and viscosity
between the two liquids.

You knew because you’ve
done it a hundred times.

You gave him
the correct medication

because you are a good nurse.

Then Harlan was…

I’m sorry, Marta. But yes.

Harlan was perfectly fine.

Oh, my God.

His blood was normal.

The cause of death was truly,
solely suicide,

and you are guilty

of nothing but some damage
to the trellis

and a few amateur theatrics.

(SIGHS)

In fact,
if Harlan had listened to you

and called the ambulance,

he would be alive today.

Damn!

BENOIT: A twisted web

and we are not finished
untangling it.

Not yet.

Marta, when Greatnana
spotted you

climbing down
the trellis, she said…

Ransom?
Are you back again already?

BENOIT: “Are you back
again already?”

‘Cause earlier that night…

(PANTING)

Ransom, you’re back?

(SCOFFS) Come on, Marta.

This is stoopid with two o’s.

You don’t have
a shred of evidence,

you’re just
spinning a fairy tale.

Not a shred, no.

Just as we have no real proof
of Marta mixing up the vials,

so it’s your word…

You have her confession!

All right, yeah.

Yeah, we do have that.

With your permission,

I’d like to spin
a little further.

Much later that night,

you’d have to come back
to the house…

to retrieve the incriminating
tampered vials.

However, this time
the dogs were outside.

(DOGS BARKING)

BENOIT: They barked,
waking Meg.

No matter.

You’ll get the vials tomorrow.

But tomorrow brings news…

Not of a medical error
and a guilty nurse,

but of a slit throat
and a suicide.

Now the circumstances
are perfect

for the anonymous hirin’ of me.

You know a crime has been
committed by Miss Cabrera,

you need her
to be caught for it.

You cannot reveal how you know.

Enter…

Benoit Blanc.

Benny, look…

I hear what you’re saying,
but this…

(SHUSHING)

The body is discovered early
the next morning.

The police,

the medical examiner,
the family,

everyone swarms in

and there is no possible way

you can get to
Marta’s medical bag

to retrieve the vials.

You must wait for your moment,

when the investigation is over

and you know
the house will be empty.

And that is why

you missed the funeral.

There is no one home to wonder

why you’re going
into Harlan’s study.

Or so you think.

(ZIPPER OPENING)

Poor Fran.

She witnessed you tampering

with Harlan’s medication
in the medical bag.

She did not know
what you were doing.

But she knew
you were up to no good.

So her mind begins to turn.

MARTA: Oh, God.

That Hallmark movie
she told me about,

with Danica McKellar…

Deadly by Surprise.

MARTA: That’s what
she was talking about.

BENOIT: She loved Harlan.

She hates Ransom.

So the poor girl decides
to test her theory,

and make this asshole pay.

She gets a copy
of the toxicology report.

Now, I will be honest,
I have no idea how.

‘Cause she has a cousin.

She told me, she has a cousin

who works as a receptionist
at the examiner’s office.

Well, voila!

The numbers,
they mean nothing to her,

but if Ransom is guilty,
its existence is a threat

so she photocopies the header
and makes her blackmail note.

So why did she send it to me?

She didn’t.

She sent it to Ransom.

And when Mr. Drysdale gets it,

what is his reaction?

Elation.

He still thinks Marta has given Harlan the tampered drugs.

A blood tox report will prove her guilt.

He goes to the will reading in high spirits, ready to see the family tear itself apart, secure in the knowledge it will be all undone when the tox report comes to light.

And then…

(INAUDIBLE)

BENOIT: Marta’s confession.

And everything turns on its head.

He now realizes that Marta has committed no crime and the tox report will prove her innocence.

The changed will is gonna stand.

He has lost.

(SCOFFS)

Unless…

Unless you decide…

You’re not gonna give up the money.

You’re not gonna give up the money.

You’ve come this far.

You’ve come this far.

Just one step further, just one last act.

In for a penny, in for a pound.

You decide you are in.

(GLASS SHATTERING)

BENOIT: Step one…

(FIRE ROARING)

Destroy all evidence of Marta’s innocence.

(SHATTERING)

Step two, send her the anonymous email with a late morning rendezvous time…

And deliver her the blackmail note.

Step three, keep your appointment with Fran.

FRAN: Oh, I knew it.

I knew you were a no-good son of a bitch.

I knew Harlan wouldn’t just kill himself.

RANSOM: Yes, Fran, you were right.

FRAN: I knew you were guilty as shit.

And now you’re gonna pay for it!

Don’t you come near me.

Don’t come near me!
I’m warning you!

(MUFFLED SCREAMING)

BENOIT: See, now, now the board is set.

Marta will get the blackmail note.

You’ll put the pieces together for her.

You’ll guide her to the rendezvous.

You’ll make the anonymous call to the police, they will catch her there with the body and the burned evidence.

Marta will get arrested for killing Fran and Harlan.

She said…

You did this.

She didn’t say…

“You did this.”

She wasn’t talking about me, she said…

Hugh did this.

“Hugh did this.”

‘Cause you made the help call you Hugh.

‘Cause you’re an asshole.

And it would have worked if we hadn’t have brought you in for questioning so you could not make your anonymous call.

And if Fran had not stashed a safety copy of the tox report.

And if Marta had not outplayed you once again.

By having a kind heart.

By saving Fran’s life though it meant her losing the inheritance and going to jail.

She didn’t play your game.

She saved Fran’s life.

Fran’s alive?

Oh, yes.

Fran…
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

Who will confirm this very story or something close to it.

And send you, Hugh, to jail.

(CELL PHONE BUZZING)

Yes?

Doctor, that’s great news.

We’ll be there soon.
Thank you.

She’s okay.

She’s ready to talk.

BENOIT: Trooper Wagner, if you could, uh, keep Mr. Drysdale in custody while Lieutenant Elliott, Ms. Cabrera and myself, we go to the hospital and take Fran’s statement.

All right.
Up, come on.

(SCOFFS)

I’m gonna say this just to you.

No cameras, no courtroom, just you, ’cause you know it’s true.

We allowed you into our home.

We let you watch our granddad, we welcomed you into our family.

And now you think you can steal it from us?

You think I’m not gonna fight to protect my home, our birthright, our ancestral family home?

(LAUGHING LOUDLY)

That is hooey.

Harlan, he bought this place in the ’80s from a Pakistani real estate billionaire.

Oh, shut up, Blanc!
(SHOUTING) Shut up!

Shut up with that Kentucky Fried Foghorn Leghorn drawl!

Yeah, I killed Fran.
But I guess I didn’t.

So what do you have on me?

Nothing.
What, attempted murder?

I get arson for the building, and a few other charges.

With a good lawyer, which I have, I’ll be out in no time.

And then you’ll see just how much hell I can wreak on your life, you vicious little bitch.

(GURGLING)

(RETCHES)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

What the shit!

(COUGHING)

That means she’s lying!

Yeah, man, we know.

That’s right.

Fran’s dead.

And you just confessed to her murder.

Well…

In for a penny…

(INAUDIBLE)

(PANTING)

(SPRING SQUEAKING)

Shit.

(INAUDIBLE)

RICHARD: Linda!

Linda!

We’ve gotta get the attorneys on the phone right now!

We…

MARTA: Can I ask when did you know I had something to do with Harlan’s death?

(CLICKS TONGUE)
Oh, from the first moment you set foot in front of me.

MARTA: Oh, shit.

BENOIT: I want you to remember something that’s very important. You won, not by playing the game Harlan’s way, but yours. You’re a good person.

This family.

I should help them. Right?

Well, I have my opinion, but I have a feeling you’ll follow your heart.