A unique perspective on what Christianity teaches to our youngest and most impressionable.
It is fascinating how absurd Christianity sounds when the basic concepts are laid out so matter-of-factly like this without all the bells and whistles that usually accompany religious teaching.

“The fog of superstition has lifted, and I have a breathtaking view of a better world.”

[Music] hello my child welcome to this world. Before you grow up there are a few things I need to tell you. You were born corrupt, you were born a sinner and the wages of sin is death.

Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.
—PSALM 51:5

Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned.
—ROMANS 5:12

Someday, when you are old enough to understand, you must ask forgiveness not for anything you’ve done but for what others did thousands of years ago at the beginning of the world.

Also you must tell God how sorry you are for murdering his son Jesus. It happened generations before you drew your first breath and it was ultimately part of God’s divine plan but the responsibility is yours, you are guilty and you must ask to be forgiven.

A portion of everything you produce in your lifetime must be given to God who will never accept your offerings personally.

You will listen for him but his voice will never be heard audibly he will thank him for his Direction guidance but his mysterious ways will confuse you in fact although you are more important to God than anything else in the universe he will never show you his face or reveal himself in any provable way. I know this seems strange.

To truly know God you must study a book an ancient book written thousands of years ago in a language you do not understand.

Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.
—MARK 16:15

you must fulfil a great commission to make others see the world as you do, to have them believe as you do, to live as you do and then to go out and convince even more to do the same. As a reward for this you will be given the privilege of praising God without end for all eternity in a hidden happy place that can only be seen by the dead.

You must pledge your entire life on this earth to you’re invisible father and his Great Commission or he will send you to a dark pit where the flesh is roasted from your bones and you rise in two noble agony forever ever and ever.

You must not do this because you fear horrible torture and pain you must do it because you love God no matter what happens throughout your lifetime the more your world seems to defy everything I’ve taught you here just continue to say the words out loud: God is real, God is good and one day you will look into the eyes of your own child and you’ll teach him these very same things so that he can someday teach his own children and their children and their children for generations. You’ll hold him in your arms and you’ll look down at him and say… welcome to this world [Music]

Narration by Delianne Forget

Written and produced by The Thinking Atheist

RELATED POSTS