TREVOR NOAH: LIVE AT THE O2 LONDON (2018) – PRINCE HARRY & MEGHAN MARKLE’S ROYAL WEDDING

2018-05-23T09:23:46-07:00May 23rd, 2018|Categories: COMEDY|Tags: , |
  • revor Noah - Live at the O2 London 2018

This is so amazing, so many of you here, to see me.. huh!? I feel like Meghan Markle… this is dope! That was like the most amazing experience. I didn’t know that the Royal Wedding was going to be this weekend. I didn’t know it was gonna be today. I planned my show long before them… I knew that I loved you before he knew… that’s what I’m saying… I planned our big day long before they planned theirs… and then now everyone was like… Are you going to London, are you go for the Royal Wedding? Are you here for the Royal Wedding? Are you here for the Royal Wedding?

It’s quite an event, I have to say… like everything.. everyone… everyone is watching… everything about you! All the stories people would talk about… Cause you’re watching it all over the world. They’re like… yes Megan Markle… Yes, she isn’t she isn’t the typical royal! Yes… she’s not the typical royal… what we mean is… (mouthing) “BLACK” Yes! Typical Royal, she’s comes from an unconventional (mouthing) “BLACK” family! Yes… very different (mouthing) “BLACK” family. I was like… yeah man she does, she comes from an unconventional family… just like Harry… Same thing. Come on! It’s true! Same thing. And they look good together. It was beautiful! Everyone was stressed out about it…

Megan Markle’s family was in the tabloids… The Daily Mail trying to destroy their lives! Man, when the Daily Mail comes after you… They do not mess around! They will find that one Uncle in your family who’s an alcoholic and shits his pants!!! Meet Trevor’s Uncle Bobby… I didn’t even know I had an Uncle Bobby!! Well now you do…. and he shits his pants!! and they’ll always find a way to try and link it to you… like it’s your fault! They’ll be like… Megan Markle’s, Uncle’s, son Donny didn’t pay his bills! she doesn’t even know him! Doesn’t matter… It shows that her family is unconventional.

I’m not gonna lie… I was glad that it was the white side of Meghan’s family That was a…. I’m not gonna lie… I’m…. We could not handle that as black people! That is the last thing we needed! Can you imagine if that was the black side of the family?? Really!? If Megan’s dad was on TV and he was like…. Oh noooo, I’m not coming to their wedding. Noooo! Here we see Meghan’s father posing for photos…. Ahh you caught me again… oh no, you have caught me! ahhh!

Black people would have never… Cause that’s the hard thing about being a minority… whether you’re black… whether you’re in your… whether you… you know whether you’re Arabic… whatever it is… like if you’re a minority… if you if you have a certain skin tone… you know that every action you commit, every action you commit, like…. taints your whole… your family. It taints your everything! White people are individuals… that’s white people… that’s like the best thing in the world! That’s what white privilege means to me, you’re an individual… Let’s look at Dave… he is excellent! He’s a mass murderer!! As Trevor, if I killed half of you tonight… they’d be like… Ahhh… Those mixed breeds!! I take everyone down with me! So much stress. So I was glad… I was glad… Like her mom was there… uh no, fly… looking beautiful as well!

The wedding went off without a hitch… And my favorite thing was how like… how like, the British media talked about… How black the event was… and they weren’t… I understand and here’s the thing… This is like one of those things, where I understand… like, they want to talk about it… because you’re not used to having like a black wedding, right?! And so like everyone today… I’d had like CNN… contacted me and they’re like… Trevor! Would you mind speaking about…umm..The wedding.. and, and rarely all the black performers?! There was a black cellist… and, there was a black choir… and a black Pastor! How do you feel?? Black?!? I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel… What are you… How do you respond to that question?! How do you feel about… I don’t know how I feel, it’s a wedding! I don’t know… what do you want me to say? that’s a normal wedding… I wasn’t watching that wedding being like… Whoa that’s black! So much black… Another one! It’s a wedding… what do you want me to say… It’s people! And also… I feel like people go too far, like you know that’s where you realize that there’s enough…. there’s not enough like diversity in your world. Is if you think that… THAT made it a black wedding!! Let me tell you something… A black cellist… has canceled itself out! If have a black person playing the cello… It’s safe to say, that you’ve canceled out the blackness of that event! That’s the safest way to introduce blackness into your family… Daddy!! I’m dating a black man!! What?!? He plays the cello! Alright, bring him in, bring him in! Even white people think a cello is white. You walk in with a cello?! White people are also like… What the hell is that man? like it was a black wedding…

It wasn’t a black… It was just a wedding! It was a beautiful, beautiful wedding! If it was a real black wedding, it wouldn’t have ended! That’s a REAL black wedding! It would NEVER end! If it was a real black wedding… Prince’s Nigerian Uncle… You would’ve found like Harry’s Nigerian Uncle He would have been in the carriage with them… I’m not paying for this carriage… And not riding in it, ahh?! you want to ride alone Harry?? You want to drive alone?! Let me tell you something.. Ah!? Let… me… tell…. you something! We are all getting in this carriage! Ah?! Every single one of us! _______, get in the carriage… There is space for everybody! Don’t be like that Harry! huh?! This is your family’s day! This is not just your day ah?! When you were a little boy…. Who was there for you?! Huh? Who was there? That… I was here! ah!? I was there! Uncle _______ was there for you Harry! Don’t be like that, huh?! Don’t be like that! Where do you think you get your bald spot from? Ah?! Where do you think you got that from? That’s a black wedding! This was just a wedding… a wedding that included black people, that’s all it was.

And it was beautiful. It was beautiful to see… All the celebrities showing up. All the famous people… they sang God Save The…. I never noticed… that when they sing God Save The Queen… The Queen doesn’t sing. which I understand… I mean, I feel like that would be a little bit weird Like she knows… like which is… like that’s what I like about the Queen, I’m not gonna front Like she has a gangster vibe about her. Like… she’s gotten to that point where she’s like… Yeah I’m the Queen, I’m over it! Let’s keep it moving… She doesn’t act like someone who’s the Queen anymore… She’s just like I’m over it… I’m the Queen! And so everyone standing there like God, (gibberish) She’s like… yeah yeah, I know, I know… Save Me, I know! I’m not going to sing it for myself! Can’t be like…. Saaa, aaaa, aaaaave, me! Saaave Me, Oh Saaave Me! I don’t need you assholes to save me! I drive myself!

It was such a beautiful day… every single piece of it. It was wonderful, seeing the people in the streets… Everyone had a smile on their face… You know, everyone was happy! Cause like Harry’s popular! He’s popular in southern Africa. He’s popular in the UK. He’s got that cool vibe about him… you know Meghan Markle as well… has inspired people. The only weird thing in the wedding for me was… they had a black Pastor. African Pastor, and… and…. This was like… It was weird in a good way! He started giving a sermon… And he started talking about Martin Luther King. And then he started talking about slavery. And I could see, in that moment… There were people in the audience who were like… God Save The Queen! God Save The Queen! Somebody STOP this man! God Save The Queen!

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